Chapter 21 - Decision
I'll call you, she says. When was she going to call? Tomorrow? Next week? A month from now? Only when she wanted to fuck - since apparently that's all she considers me good for?
His chest felt like it wanted to cave in. The raw unrelenting pain forcing him into silence as he watched her walk away with that human male. He had nothing else to say to her, because he had never been in a situation where he actually wanted to keep the woman who was leaving with another male. What else could he possibly say to make her listen? She clearly didn't view him as any kind of priority.
She used you…just like every fucking woman before her…
Kolyat clenched his hands into fists, his body shaking uncontrollably as the pressure in his chest reached a breaking point. Snarling in rage he lashed out violently, his hand shooting out viciously pushing all the files scattering into the air and across the waiting room floor. He couldn't remember the last time he had been so angry in his fucking life. When you found out Zahria was cheating on you? No…he wasn't even that angry then. When you found out your father had come back out of nowhere with this human woman in tow, butting into your life? Fucking everything up? Yeah, that seemed about right…fucking Shepard.
After a long moment trying to get his breathing back under control he noticed Narissa slowly falling to her knees, hands reaching out as she gathered the scattered paperwork. Closing his eyes he released a heavy breath, immediately dropping to his knees in order to help, sucking his teeth as his thoughts ran wild of the red headed woman who had just consumed everything left within him.
"I'm sorry, Narissa-"
"No, no. It's fine. I'll take care of it." She cut him off gently avoiding his gaze.
"No…I didn't mean…that was inappropriate. I'll pick it all up."
"Kolyat, there's no need-"
"I said I got this, ok!" He grit out in anger already regretting his outburst as Narissa froze in mid motion, hand lingering in the air as she went to pick up another piece of paper. Kolyat could feel his frills heat in shame, dropping his head he tilled in apology.
Gods, you are such an asshole.
"I'm sorry." He murmured remorsefully. Closing his eyes he brought one of his hands up, covering them roughly, his fingers rubbing the outer edges and over his upper cheeks taking another moment to calm his emotions from taking over completely.
This is why he never wanted to let people in. Never wanted to care or take the time to know someone. They use you and they move on. Show you a glimpse and push you away. Why would she be any different?
Gary called his name gently dragging him from the edges of self-loathing. He looked up at him carefully, taking deep steady breaths focusing on the green of his eyes. The human male approached him and leaned down, handing him a damp napkin, pushing his glasses up his nose, eyes soft and filled with sincerity. Kolyat blinked at him in confusion.
"What is that for?"
"You have lipstick all over your mouth."
Kolyat licked his lips and ran his index finger over the bottom swell, pulling it away noticing a light sheen of red coat his scales. No use in hiding it now, they had a general idea of what had just happened a few minutes prior. He swallowed roughly and looked away, thanking him as he took the napkin gingerly, wiping away the remaining evidence of what Shepard and he had just done.
"She's not serious about him." Narissa spoke up softly bringing his attention to the woman before him curiously. "If anything, she's going to turn him down."
"How do you know?" He almost didn't want to ask, because that meant he was still trying to hold on to some hope. He should have already known how this was going to end the first time he kissed her.
Narissa was quiet as she finished gathering the rest of the papers, rising from her knees, Gary taking her hand so she could adjust her long shirt around her legs. He mirrored her, rising to hand the papers that he had picked up before shoving his hands into his jacket pockets roughly. He needed to be alone and sort this whole mess out.
"Because I have never seen her look at anyone the way she just looked at you." Her voice cut through the emptiness growing within him.
"I don't think Donovan is her type." Gary tried to reassure also.
Kolyat grimaced shaking his head doubtfully. "I appreciate what you're trying to do but… whatever you think you know about us…" He narrowed his eyes and glanced up at the both of them. "You don't" He bit out viciously.
They both frowned in disapproval. Gary sucked his teeth and put a hand on his hip, green eyes blazing.
"Look…" Kolyat sighed, closing his eyes for another moment to gain back his emotional equilibrium. Why did it feel as if everything was propelling out of control? He opened his mouth to speak again, another apology. The only thing he could muster was a strangled shadow of himself. "It doesn't matter how she looks at me… it doesn't mean anything at all… because in the end… she'll never see meas anything more."
His body felt so heavy, anger slipping into deep rooted remorse. This was how it always went, wasn't it? Never anyone's priority. Just a passing experience. Something someone had to deal with until it was over. Something to be used and discarded. He thought it could be different. He wanted to be different for her. He wanted to make her his priority. He wanted that in return. Over time, he had no doubt she would slowly get better, and when the galaxy needed her, she would be everything that they needed. He believed in her. He would believe in her still. A woman who walked with angels and Gods. Someone like him should have been happy, just to get a glimpse. He wasn't worth much more than that. Just someone to get lost in sins and shadows, watching those more deserving to walk in the light.
"Are you in love with her?" Narissa spoke up, face hardening in determination.
Kolyat couldn't answer her, because if he spoke it out loud, than it would become so much worse than it already was, because he already knew the answer. He was in love with her.
Looking back now he knew he was intrigued the second he had first seen her on that catwalk. Curious and uncertain when she had fought to keep him out of jail. Angry but fascinated when he had learned about her and his father. Captivated by her the night he had seen her at the C-Sec ball, the moment his lips had touched hers. She had taken a piece of him that night at the safe house, stolen the rest the night they had danced.
Fuck…
Fuck…
He turned and left in a hurry, ignoring them as they called after him. He couldn't be around anyone right now, could feel the tears welling in his eyes as he stormed down the stairs. When he was free of the office he stood on the street in uncertainty, his chest on the precipice of collapsing upon itself, knowing the truth. It was for the best if they didn't get involved any further. Maybe it was right of her to turn him down for who knows how many times now. He was starting to get tired of it anyway.
Taking several heavy gulps of air he wiped his eyes making sure to bring himself back under control before he opened his omnitool, clicking on the last person he had called. The human male picking up on the second ring.
"What's up Kolyat?" Lukas asked with a gentle smile, his natural charm shining through in friendly warmth. He had never met his woman but he wondered if Ami had ever given him this much trouble.
"I'm just checking if you still need me today."
He glanced away for a moment, unable to meet the kindness in Lukas's eyes. Please say no. Silence stretched between them so long that Kolyat had no choice but to look back at him, wondering if maybe the call had dropped. Lukas stared at him solemnly now, lips now fallen in discontent.
"I take it, it didn't go so well."
Kolyat clamped his lips shut, gaze falling from the screen again trying to think of how to answer. Lukas had tried to help him. The least he could do was give him something about the results. "At least I finally understand now."
Lukas frowned and shook his head. "I'm not going to be the type of friend who calls the girl a bitch for hurting you, even if it makes you feel better. I'm sure she's actually really great, or you wouldn't even be interested. Rejection….It's never easy, and I'm not going to give you a bullshit pep talk that everything is going to be okay, or it wasn't meant to be, because that's total bullshit too."
Kolyat snorted and looked back at him, a sad smile forcing itself unintentionally over the edges of his mouth. Appreciating how real Lukas was being with him.
"We still don't have a case, so you're good today. Tomorrow I'm taking you to the shooting range. Fuck knows you're going to need something to aim at."
"Thanks Graham." He murmured.
"Don't mention it. See you tomorrow."
Lukas closed the program leaving Kolyat to his thoughts, his hands dropping back into his pockets, starting to make his way to the lower levels of the Zakera Ward towards his apartment. He wanted to get a drink but he just didn't want to be around anyone right now. He doubted it would have helped anyway. He kept lingering on one terrible fact.
She had almost mentioned his father. The pain of her comparing them too much for him to even fathom. Was that what was going on in her mind? Was she the one who was unable to separate the two of them? Was that the problem? Maybe it wasn't actually him?
He mulled this idea over as he reached his apartment, slowly letting himself in. Ignoring the lights as he went straight to his bedroom, sitting heavily upon the edge of his bed, mechanically unlacing his C-Sec issued combat boots, dropping them where they fell. Maybe that was the problem. She was the one who could not separate the two of them. Maybe he reminded her of the man she had loved before him too much, that being with him was hard for her. Was it possible he was hurting her more, by being with her?
Kolyat changed his clothes and laid down upon his bed, staring at his ceiling for a long time trying to clear his thoughts. He had never once found himself looking at someone the way he had looked at Shepard. He had tried once with Zahria, wondering where he had went wrong, seeing what Taran and Mira had, wondering if he could have that too. It was a lie of course. Zahria had been too caught up in herself and he had been too caught up in trying to make C-Sec work, that he hadn't realized how much she had used him as a stepping stone until it was too late. He had thought she had understood him. He had let his guard down, just enough for her to mean something. The reality check when he realized how little he meant making him party even harder after it was done for a while.
Relationships became one night flings. Female's things to be used, never wanting to waste any more time on knowing or pleasing them, only what he needed to take from them and move on. He only cared enough to know how hard they would let him fuck them, nothing more. Not even their names.
He realized now how unhealthy that was. The closer he got to Detective, the tangible his choices had become. When Shepard had begun entering the picture, it finally dawned on him, how fucked up he had actually been. Putting a halt on his previous way of life when she became all he could think about, because everything else started to wash away into the tide.
And now, I'm in love with her.
Fresh tears welled his eyes. Of course he would be in love with her, because everyone he attempted to love either left, or he had left in the end. Why would this end any other way…
If it was better for her… if it meant her happiness… if this was truly what she needed… if that human male was what she wanted instead…
Because I love her…. I have to let her go…
"So...we're going to pretend that wasn't awkward, right?" Donovan commented coming up beside her, resting his hand upon the railing she was leaning back upon. She stared at the ground, her thoughts constantly on Kolyat's disheartened expression when he had said that he understood, his cruel laugh and disregard right after. A sinking feeling pushing her stomach toward her feet.
"Kolyat's not normally like that. It was just bad timing."
"I figured. I've never personally conducted business with one, but I always found Drells quiet and extremely polite in passing."
"Because of the Hanar." She replied crisply. If he only knew how untypical the Drells she associated with, really were.
"They share a home world, right?"
"Kahje." Shepard nodded and turned around, placing her hands on the railing staring out toward the fountains and gardens of the Presidium. She glanced at a small waterfall, the soothing sounds of the trickling waters dulling out the sluggish churning of misery in her gut. "Most Drells follow their respectful ways. Their upbringing and society is closely intertwined with the Hanar. I've been lucky enough to know a few."
"Must have been something. Your travels have taken you all over I imagine. Have you ever been to Kahje?"
"Once." She replied quietly, grasping the railing a little tighter, gaze focusing on the water, the rippling waves pulling her back to the brink of somber remembrance. "When I returned Thane to the deep." She murmured, licking her drying lips before turning to glance at Donovan.
"The deep?"
"When a Drell passes away, their bodies are wrapped in sea vines and taken into the water to be buried, or placed in an underground mausoleum by the Hanar. They believe the afterlife is a shore that they go to after their physical form crosses the sea. They will wait there until their loved one joins them."
His eyes softened and he smiled almost sadly, understanding easing his stance as he shifted on his feet. A slight chuckle and sigh as he came and rested beside her, leaning both elbows now upon the railing, looking out towards the gardens. A long silence before he spoke again, trying to change the melancholy atmosphere.
"So…ugh…Kolyat?" He asked apprehensively grinning when she glanced at him warily. "You do know I can tell when someone is sizing me up, right?"
Shepard laughed gently and looked back out at the gardens, focusing on the blues and yellows, the glowing luminescence of plants she had never seen before. Both of them slipping into silence as the minutes crawled on, her thoughts turning towards the male in question. She shouldn't have left him like that. She shouldn't even be here with Donovan. Thane's words coming to her so clearly in this moment, as undulating waters kept her entranced in the throes of ambiguity and doubt.
'When you see the lightning, the rising tide, allow yourself to be lost in the currents…'
That's what Kolyat had started to become to her, a fucking typhoon. He was knocking down and destroying everything she had left within her. That last piece she was trying to hold on to for dear life, just barely staying afloat.
'Do not fight the waves…'
It was getting harder every time she saw him again. If it continued, soon he would pull her under completely, but was it really that bad? When he held her in his arms, the galaxy seemed quieter. The endless darkness, a little more hopeful. The emptiness inside of her…feeling again.
Thane would have wanted you to be happy…
She had tried to blind herself to how Drells viewed relationships. She didn't want to see it because of her own moral and cultural taboos. Honestly, she had just been looking for any excuse. She was starting to see that now. Letting someone in again, anyone for that matter… scared the shit out of her.
Why am I even here?
"Donovan…" She muttered squaring her shoulders and standing up straight, waiting as he turned to face her. The look in his eyes, already knowing of what was to come. He grinned and nodded holding up a hand, shaking it in dismissal.
"You don't have to say anything."
"I do….I'm sorry."
"Don't be…I can open up an extranet link on the missed connection forum or something. 'Saw you in the Presidium Gardens, thought you were beautiful, but your mind was on something else.' I can make it romantic and sappy if you want."
She quirked her lips trying to fight back a smile from his laidback teasing, grateful he wasn't making it weird. "You can embellish it a little more if you want. Make it dramatic. I only know dramatic."
"Dramatic?" He hummed as if thinking before grinning. "Should I make up a story? Saw you standing there, blue dress mesmerizing. You tripped, I caught you in my arms, and I asked if you were alright. You looked at me and said, Mr. you just touched my backside. You slapped me. I should have asked you for your number. Alas, it was never meant to be." Donovan pouted and sighed theatrically but all she could do was scoff from his use of language.
"Don't use backside."
"Oh, ugh…too much?" He coughed into his hand in embarrassment, chuckling in slight discomfort.
"If you don't say ass or tit. I'm going to be horrified." She retorted crossing her arms over her chest haughtily. Who still used the word backside? "It wouldn't have worked out. I hate golf."
"I don't like to drink, or curse."
"Really? You don't curse? Well…Thane didn't like to drink and I think I only heard him curse a handful of times, but that's not as bad as you liking golf." She wiggled her nose watching as Donovan laughed heartily, his expression softening while he shook his head, amazement on his features.
"You truly are a remarkable woman Shepard. It was a pleasure to have made your acquaintance. I wish the best for you. I really do."
"I wish the best for you too Donovan." She returned truthfully.
After their goodbyes and a promise to keep in touch he left her in the gardens. Her mind once again wandering to the male she had previously been with. The taste of Kolyat's mouth still lingering on her tongue. Sighing deeply she sat down on a nearby bench looking out over the small waterfall. She had come here once in a while, trying to clear her mind. The trickling water reminding her of the sounds of her home back on Earth. The pond in her backyard that her mother had refused to demolish when she had restored the old manor. The sounds soothing, always giving her clarity when her thoughts were a mess.
I was in the wrong.
Kolyat had been nothing but open and honest with her, showing her a side that she never thought he could ever be capable of. He was smart and passionate. Strong and willing to learn, to help those who genuinely needed it. He wanted to change lives, taking the first step in changing his own. He had shown her compassion and care, friendship and reliability. He kept pushing her, trying to show her how he felt and she had been nothing but cruel and dismissive.
She had really liked spending time with him, joy filling her as soon as she caught a glimpse of him. She hated the feeling of having to fight him on everything. Fight herself with wanting to feel for him. She hated herself with how she was treating him too. He didn't need more psychological bullshit, especially from her.
'Let me be the one to help you shine again.'
God, he had been so romantic that night. Gentle and sweet. He had poured his heart out to her in the moment she had needed him the most, and she had been open to everything he had confined in her about. She understood why he was hesitant to expose his thoughts to anyone, his past easily a deterrent for others, but for her, she looked at it as his strength. You survive and get stronger. Eventually the ache will go away. She would never look at him any differently. Someone so beautiful and growing with renewed purpose every day.
That was it, wasn't it? What she was feeling? The pain and anguish making her lose herself, and he had been right there to scoop her up, helping her find her feet. Kolyat had wanted to help her. He cared about her enough to really want to understand, know everything if she allowed it.
Shepard opened her hands palm up, staring down at them for a long time in emptiness before balling them into fists upon her lap. He should have walked away several times over with how she had treated him, but he had persisted. He kept telling her over and over and she had just thrown it back in his face instead. That couldn't have been easy for him, especially since he had admitted to never letting himself before. He had closed himself off from everyone and everything, and now he was trying to convince her to take a chance with him. He wanted to open up to her as much as he wanted her to open up to him.
God, you are such a bitch…
She couldn't do that to him. She was nothing but a fucking hot mess; screwed up and probably damaged beyond repair. She didn't want to; she wanted keep fighting but, part of her wanted to feel again. It was exhausting, that feeling, and she had hated how empty everything had suddenly become. Only feeling something now when she was with him. Kolyat Krios, of all fucking people.
I need to take the chance.
Tears escaped her eyes, rolling down her cheeks as Thane came heavily into her thoughts. How much she loved him. How much she missed him. Would he have cared if it was his son that she had found solace in? She smiled bitterly wondering if Thane was watching her from beyond the sea. Would he be angry at them…or would he be accepting? She wondered if Irikah was with him watching too. Would she be pleased that she was falling in love with her son now?
Love…
Shit…
She was falling in love with him.
Blinking back her tears she wiped her eyes in budding determination. It couldn't end like this. She needed to finally be honest with him. She had to see him again… if nothing else to at least explain herself. To apologize, if he would even let her. She had her doubts that he would even give her a chance now… the shitty way she had treated him…but she had to try.
Rising from the bench quickly she took a deep breath and opened her omnitool hitting Kolyat's number before she lost her nerve. After five rings the call disconnected and she hit the button again in stubbornness, starting the call cycle again. Each ring dragging on, feeling like unending eternity, her stomach tightening in dread. What would she say when he picked up? I'm sorry, just didn't seem to cut it. Her stomach sinking when he didn't respond. He was probably pissed and ignoring her calls now.
Shifting on her heels she moved hurriedly towards the sky cars, holding her breath, hoping she didn't bust her ass while she hailed a cab and jumped in like her ass was on fire. Hitting the coordinates for C-Sec she tried one more time on Kolyat's number. Sucking her teeth from the same result when he once again ignored her call. Throwing herself back against the seat she crossed her arms over her chest and huffed in annoyance.
You don't like it when it's being done back to you now, huh?"
Fuck. You. Conscience.
She stormed through C-Sec filled with purpose, people giving her curious stares as her heels clanked loudly against the tiled floor. She was going to find him and allow him the chance. She wasn't exactly sure what she was going to say, but fucking balls she was going to make him listen. Even if she had to shoot him again… or slap him… or fuck him. She would make him shut up with that dirty, amazing mouth of his until he heard her out.
She spotted Bailey immediately at his desk, his attention snapping to her in confusion. Probably from the 'hath had no fury' expression she was probably sprouting like a vengeful banshee at this point. Kolyat ignoring her calls had really pissed her the fuck off.
"Shepard, how can I help you?"
"I need to see Kolyat. It's important." She said curtly the determined look on her face alerting Bailey to something seriously wrong. His eyebrows lowered in concern, gaze narrowing astutely.
"He's not under my immediate command anymore, if he's here, he would be on the fourth floor, third division headquarters. If you don't see him, ask his partner. Detective Lukas Graham."
"Mind if I go up?"
"No. Go ahead. Is everything alright Shepard? Is something wrong with…?" His voice trailed off and he huffed glancing around in aggravation, eyes heavy and tense.
Shepard took a deep breath and calmed herself, realization making her change her impression. He was probably taking her sudden appearance and demeanor as something wrong with his family.
"No, nothing like that. I just… I just need to see him for something."
He stared at her a long moment, before finally nodding. The tightness in his jaw relaxing as his features smoothed out. Tilting his head he urged her towards the elevator. Her finger hitting the button harshly, pretending it was Kolyat's face. First thing she was going to do was punch him. He really had to ignore her calls now of all times, when she finally decided what she wanted to do?
What a jerk.
When the elevator opened and she stormed in, terrible thoughts started to make her waver in anxiety. What if he wasn't here? What if he went to a bar instead? She frowned as she hit the indicator for third division not entirely in the mood to start bar hopping in order to find him like a love struck stalker. Besides, he had already hinted that he no longer hit that scene. If she went back to her office, she could probably locate his home address and go from there, or even ask Bailey, although that might open up a whole slew of questions she wasn't ready to answer yet. But what if she found him? If he was angry enough, would he go and find some random female? Maybe he was fucking her right now and that's why he wasn't picking up her calls?
Don't be such an asshole. He wouldn't do that.
When she reached the floor for third division a few curious glances were thrown her way until a turian officer approached to ask if she needed help. Informing her the location of the office she was looking for, she ignored everyone else's whispers and continued on to her destination. Turning down a less active corridor, the third door on the right was slightly ajar when she approached. Good, no witness's if shit went down now.
One more deep breath. One more heavy gulp to calm her racing heart and she took a step into the doorway, chest deflating when she only saw a single human male sitting at the desk on the far right. He was lean with a narrow face, dirty blond hair that was brushed upwards and gelled back like a punk rock star. He was sitting sideways at his desk, black combat boots up upon the edge as he lounged in his chair lazily, a dark orange ball in his hands as he moved it back and forth. The white t-shirt he wore underneath his gun holster stopped right above his elbows, revealed a large amount of tattoo's, multiple colors and patterns, intricate designs that stopped right before his wrists.
"Excuse me. Are you Detective Graham?"
The male turned his head towards her quickly in surprise fumbling the miniature basketball in his hands letting it fall to the floor in alarm.
"Hey, yeah. Lukas Graham." He greeted, voice smooth and kind, standing in curtesy, one hand running through his hair before scrambling to grab a pile of folders he almost knocked over when he pulled his feet down. Sucking his teeth he smiled in amusement, her gaze moving to the back of his chair, a similar black leather jacket like Kolyat's draped across the back of it.
"Come in. Sorry about the mess. Don't let it deter you. Moving stuff around as my new partner gets situated." He looked up at her and smiled warmly, glancing around at the vacant desk, nothing on it except for a small computer console, a datapad and a few folders. She noticed a gun locker against the wall beneath a large dry erase board, a few large crates still left unpacked beside it. She couldn't help but smile. Kolyat must have been really excited to be getting his own office. He had complained once about having trouble concentrating out in the main area while he worked.
"Did I interrupt?"
He snorted and grinned wider, shrugging as he finished adjusting the pile. "Not at all. Was taking a short break….So, how can I assist you Ms.…oh, wow?" He sobered, standing up taller when their gazes met again. "You're Commander Shepard. Now this is a real honor. It's a pleasure to meet you."
He came around the desk fluidly holding out his hand to shake hers. She took it and nodded in acknowledgement, smiling back gently. "It's nice to meet you too."
"So, uh, what can I help you with?" His deep blue eyes now staring at her in curiosity, hands resting on his lean hips, noticing that he was almost as tall as Kolyat. She glanced at the empty desk again, certain now that he wasn't at the station.
"I'm looking for Kolyat Krios. Do you know where he is?"
"Krios? If this is about a case, I can help you now and Detective Krios will join us tomorrow to-"
"This isn't about a case." She cut him off keeping her voice neutral and calm. "Captain Bailey said you might know where he was, if he was still on shift."
Lukas stared at her vacantly, his blue eyes piercing as he perceived everything about her. She could tell that he was turning everything over in his head. Scenarios, words, information. She wondered how much he knew without letting it show. He was going to be perfect for Kolyat. She wondered if he knew that too. He would be able to learn a lot from this human male. Just by this short moment, she could already tell.
"I spoke to him a few hours ago after I dropped him off in the Zakera Ward. He's done for the day."
"Did he say if he was going anywhere after the Zakera Ward? Do you know if he went home?"
"Sorry. I didn't ask. I can call him if you want?"
"No." She blurted automatically. Lukas froze with his hand over his omnitool blinking at her slowly. How weird and awkward would that be if he picked up for Officer Graham and not for her? What the hell would she want him to say for her? "It's okay. I don't want to disturb him."
A smile lifted his lips languidly, his stance easing, features falling into friendly warmth as he crossed his arms and leaned back to sit slightly against his desk. Her eyes moved over his arms noticing skulls and shaded areas of tribal tattoo's and what looked like a python wrapped around the back of his forearm before she snapped her eyes back up to meet his. He stared at her a long moment before he finally spoke again.
"Are you a poker player Commander?"
"Sometimes?" She eyed him, quirking an eyebrow at the sudden unexpected question.
"I like it because it can tell you a lot about someone's character. The way they approach the cards mirrors how they approach life."
"That's an interesting concept." She acknowledged, wondering where he was suddenly going with this.
"It's true though." He nodded and smiled. "Think about it. A person who can easily break under pressure, you wouldn't want them to watch your back. If they get intimidated and constantly fold, you might see it as weakness, a perfect target to exploit. You can even gauge desperation. The best part though…the best part is the lie. The game forces you to read people, guess their thoughts or intentions. Do you walk away or run? Do you call? Do you make the bet? Are you able to see what their hiding? Did you guess correctly? Were you lucky enough to walk out with your clothes?'
"Why do I have a feeling you've left with someone's clothes?" Shepard snorted in amusement.
"Nothing like experiencing that walk of shame, I tell you, or being the one to cause it." He laughed wholeheartedly taking a minute to glance away and scratch his beard as if contemplating. After a moment of comfortable silence he glanced back at her, blue eyes shining kindly.
"I'm the type of person who likes to bet it all."
"That sounds dangerous. A mind set like that can get you into trouble."
"Not if you know what you're doing."
"I guess it depends on the hand."
Lukas held up his pointer finger and shook it slightly as he contemplated her answer, denial in his features. "That's where you're wrong." He retorted going back to his chair to take a seat, leaning down to pick up the fallen basketball, spinning it around in his hands. His gaze was far off before he blinked it away and met her stare with conviction. "You see, it's all about the risk factor and how willing you are to lose. The higher the risk, the more of the reward. Your career is a perfect example of a poker game. Play the cards right, you come out on top. Someone has a better hand or calls your bluff, you lose it all, but how do you get to that point?"
"Where are you going with this?"
"Bear with me….So, it's all about possibility, right? Chance. That, or you cheat. You count cards. Factoring in all the prospects, but you miscalculated along the way. You know the other person's cards. Everything right there for you to see. Plain as day. They call your bluff and now you're left wondering, fuck, I think I miss read it, right? You second guess, you chicken out and fold, you take the safe route. Try to keep what little money you have left. They lay down their cards. A pair of three's. They weren't scared to take the risk, and now you're left regretting."
Shepard grinned and kept his gaze having a feeling he suddenly wasn't talking about cards. The shrewd darkening of his serious stare trying to pull on hers and gauge her thoughts. Jesus Christ, did Kolyat realize how good this guy was?
Lukas grinned and paused knowingly. "You had a full house, and you folded under his pair of three's."
"What if he had a royal flush….and the right call was made?" She blinked slowly, narrowing her gaze to make sure her thoughts stayed hidden.
Lukas flashed his teeth and chuckled. "Either way, you folded, and now you're left regretting. If you had taken the chance and gone all in, a loss rather than giving up would have been so much better, don't you think?"
"You make poker sound like war."
"Hell yeah, it's war. You know how many 'friends' I've lost over a game? You want to test loyalty? Do it over a poker table. See whose still at your side when you steal their money, and their dignity."
She laughed and nodded unable to do anything but like this guy. "I think I'll keep that in mind if I ever take on a crew again."
"At least it will boost morale. Sometimes the revenge angle works pretty well too. So…" He trailed off breaking their gazes again, another scratch of his beard. Did he realize that she had just read him too? That mannerism and way of speaking to her, let her know, that his quirk meant that he had just made up his mind about something.
"You folded. If you realized your folly, are you ready to try one more time and bet it all? All or nothing?"
"What exactly do you mean by that?" She asked carefully crossing her arms over her chest playing dumb, knowing that Lukas probably didn't buy it. He threw the miniature basketball and made it through the hoop next to Kolyat's desk. Spinning in his chair he grabbed a pen and scribbled something on a small piece of paper before sliding it across the table for her to see.
"Kolyat's home address. In case you didn't have it. I'm going to bet it all. Please don't be a serial killer, though. That would really fuck up at least the next eighteen months of my plans."
"Are you sure you read me right? You trust me with this sensitive information? I've been known as the butcher of Torfan after all."
Lukas leaned back in his chair sluggishly, crossing his ankle over his knee, resting his laced fingers over his stomach, an impish grin pulling one side of his mouth.
"No offense, but I think Kolyat can handle you."
"You sure about that?" She laughed and challenged back defiantly. The seriousness of his gaze dulling her laugh to contemplation. His eyes hardening while he stared at her piercingly. All pretense of jokes aside, a long moment before he finally spoke again.
"Take the risk…. He might surprise you."
Shepard raced back through the Zakera Ward, following the map on her omnitool until she came to the building with the address Lukas had given her. She waited impatiently for the doors to open, not bothering with the elevator she sprinted up the stairs, heels banging loudly as she took the steps two at a time, making sure to keep her hand on the back of her skirt. She still needed to keep some kind of decency at least. She made it up three stories in record time and turned down a narrow hallway looking for apartment 309.
Halfway through the corridor, she found his door and immediately went to press the intercom but froze with her finger an inch from touching base. Taking another steady breath, she closed her eyes and hit the button. It was already too late to run, right? Holding her breath she waited in silence wondering what his first words were going to be. Fuck off and eat shit more likely than others as each second crawled into several agonizing moments.
Hitting the buzzer one more time her chest tightened in pain as her gaze fell to the floor. He wasn't home. Maybe it was better this way? Should she check Purgatory next? She doubted he would go back to Neon Rain. Maybe Chora's Den or Flux? Turning to leave she thought about all the possibilities of where he could be, her mind a complete torrent of thoughts and emotions she still wasn't completely ready to deal with. Maybe she should start at the lower wards and work her way up? Maybe his friend Taran at Drala'fa would have seen him, or maybe Forbidden Fruit? He said he went their almost every day and that seemed like a more likely place.
"Sarah?" She heard her name called softly, making her turn around towards the voice. Kolyat stood in his doorway, slowly opening it manually staring at her in trepidation, eyes narrowing in uncertainty. He was dressed in a tight black tank top, baggy black pants and no shoes. She looked at his feet and the black stripes over the tops, another at is ankle disappearing beneath his pants. "What are you doing here?"
"You didn't answer your comm."
Kolyat blinked at her slowly while he came into the hallway, glancing down at his omnitool most likely noticing how many times she had blown up his line when he raised one of his eye ridges. "I was sleeping." He stated plainly.
"Oh…" Her words faltered in distraction as her eyes trailed slowly up his body, across his hips and stomach, remembering the feel of his muscles beneath her hands. What his body felt like pushed against hers. The swell of him as he came inside her. She could feel her skin begin to heat, and she knew he could see the thoughts going through her head as his expression darkened and he huffed out a breath of annoyance turning his gaze away from hers.
"What do you want?" He bit out on the verge of loathing, jaw tensing as she battled herself on what to say. She immediately regretted thinking the worst of him. Thinking he went to a bar or picked up some random woman just to spite her. She knew he would never do that. She trusted him. It was time she started showing him. Squaring her shoulders, she stood up tall and marched straight towards him until she pushed herself flush against him. Wrapping her hand around the back of his neck, she grabbed him roughly and crashed his mouth down to hers in desperate need.
He tensed in alarm, only taking a moment from her coaxing in order to collect himself before he wrapped his arms around her waist and returned her kiss with uncontrollable passion. His hand slid over her lower back, crudely pulling her against the hard expanse of his chest while he assaulted her with tongue and lips. The seductive heady taste of him exactly what she needed, making her moan into him without inhibition. Nothing holding her back.
Her fingers slowly trailed beneath the fabric of his shirt, fingertips skimming over his taut abs, palms flush against his smooth scales. How she wanted to feel that softness pressed against her naked flesh. A violent hiss and then a jerk and he was pulling away so quickly it left her stumbling on her heels as she lost her balance and blinked up at him in shock. His cheeks darkened as he grit his teeth and hissed again, rage darkening his eyes into two endless black holes of unending darkness.
"What kind of woman are you? What game is this?" He seethed, eyes searching hers, fingers clutching in desperation at her upper arms, shaking her roughly onto the tips of her thin heels. If he let her go she would bust her ass and fall backwards. The devil knew she was going to take his ass down with her if that was going to be the case.
"I'm not playing a game." She answered back, voice breathy while she tried to focus past the heavy taste of him lingering in her mouth. How much she wanted to experience it again. He lowered her carefully back onto her feet and let her go taking a few steps back. Here she was practically throwing herself at him now and he was the one who was pushing her away.
How the tables have turned.
"Kol-"
"I can't do this… I thought I could but, I can't." He said quietly, his hands balling into fists at his sides, voice quivering, unable to meet her gaze. He might as well have punched her instead because the pain that hit her lungs was just as sharp. She swallowed roughly as he closed his eyes, turning his face away refusing to look at her. "I think you should leave. We can't keep doing this to ourselves."
"But I want you."
"Yeah?" He snorted in amused disapproval. "I already got that… but do you even care about me, or are you just going to continue using me? If you are…" He looked up at her, his breathing heavy, face raw, everything visible for her to see. All of his uncertainty and doubts about himself like an open wound, vulnerable and exposed. "I should be used to it by now… and in the beginning I wouldn't have minded but… I need to know where I stand now. I need to know because I…" He shook his head and looked away grimacing in trepidation.
Jesus Christ… I almost really fucked this up.
"I can't be lost again, it won't end well." He finished as he gathered his resolve, his expression shutting down, hiding the rest of his thoughts.
"I'm sorry about this afternoon." She returned gently trying to gain some ground that she was losing between them. "I just need to know if you still care about me as much as I know you do. Or did I ruin everything now? Tell me the truth."
Kolyat stared at her for a long moment before he let out a slow heavy breath, his shoulders falling in dejection. He rubbed the pentagram on his forehead fingers trailing over his head before letting them fall away.
"To the point that it hurts." He admitted quietly, her throat swelling as she found herself unable to breathe while he continued. "But that's the problem, isn't it? I was looking at everything the wrong way. You were the one hurting yet, I became the selfish one. I thought if you would let me… I could be what you wanted, what you needed, anyway you would take me. However… I didn't realize, in the process, how much I would be hurting you too." Kolyat took another unsteady step back, a pained grimace clenching his jaw tight, dark orbs still blackening into the void of turmoil. He took a shuddering breath, voice now wavering.
"I don't want to hurt you. I want you to be happy… and if that means I'm not there…" His eyes filled with tears. "If comfort is all you seek from me…"
What the hell was he saying? He didn't want to try anymore. He wanted her to use him as a fuck buddy instead?
"I want you to find yourself again. I want you to find your happiness… Father would have wanted that too… I want that now.
"Kolyat…" She wasn't exactly sure what to say. He cared about her so deeply. Why did she let it get to this point? How badly she had hurt him in the process too. She licked her dry lips still unsure of exactly what kind of relationship he wanted to have now. "You would be okay with me using you, until I found my happiness?"
Kolyat tilted his head downward and closed his eyes, slow steady breaths rising his chest gently for several heartbeats before he nodded and looked back at her. A sorrowful till escaping his throat.
"I need to walk away, right? It would be best, right? I should let you go yet…here you are and…I can't. At least I will know, that's all it is now."
He wiped his eyes and waited for her to answer him. The choking pain in her chest was overwhelming, squeezing her lungs so tightly that she thought she would never be able to find her voice again. Blunt agony making her queasy where no words could describe her anguish in this moment. He really didn't deserve this, but he wanted it. In any way, shape or form. If she took it, if she agreed to this… who was being selfish than?
You need to tell him. You need to show him.
"Kolyat… I don't want you like that." Her voice trailed off, watching as his eyes widened, tears spilling over his frills, mouth opening as if he couldn't find his words. He licked his lips and nodded stiffly. Another moment before he was able to speak.
"I… I understand."
It hurt so much to see him like this and she didn't want to anymore. Stepping forward she reached her hand up to cup his cheek, fingers wiping away the moisture, moving her body against him slowly angling his face down towards her. The pain so raw. She would do everything she could to never let him experience this again. "No, you don't." She murmured quietly.
"I do Shep-"
She made a sound to quiet him. Her finger placed gently upon the center of his lips. Not her first name. He was already trying to distance himself. She pulled herself completely against him now, her other hand sliding around the back of his neck, his body stiffening beneath her hold, eyes searching hers in confusion.
"Are you sure you're ready for all of me?" His gaze narrowed in uncertainty, trying to understand exactly what she was saying. "Are you sure I am what you want? I need to know if you're really ready for me. What I've done. What I'm capable of."
"Sarah…" He sighed taking a deep breath bringing himself back. "Nothing will change how I am starting to feel about you, but you have to understand what you did. You gave me an opportunity to show you what you meant to me and you let me be with you, than you ignored me for days. You let me fuck you, but then you go out with another male. I refuse to be treated like that again. I won't."
She glanced away and shook her head, understanding how messed up she had been in doing that. "I really am sorry. I swear to you, there's nothing going on between me and Donovan. I actually forgot that he was even coming. I'm not going to see him again. Besides, he knew there was something going on between us."
His gaze wandered over her face, body gradually easing under her touch, his fingers brushing her upper cheek to gently run through her hair and down her back. "Is there?" He asked, grabbing her chin to turn her gaze up towards his, expression dark and fathomless. "Because you don't seem like you want to admit it."
She swallowed roughly and took another moment, trying to find her courage. He let her face go and grasped her wrist pushing his cheek against her palm a little harder, tilting to ghost his lips over the side of her wrist. She couldn't believe how fast her heart was racing. At any moment she thought it might burst from her chest with how hard it was throbbing. He really didn't realize the effect he had on her. She needed to tell him the truth. She needed to stop looking for excuses. Stop lying.
"I was scared." She admitted dropping her hand, her gaze going with it in shame.
"Of what?"
"You."
"I find that hard to believe." He snorted taking her hand again to place it back upon his cheek. A muffled purr vibrating through his frills while he brushed her palms over his ribbing languidly. "Was it because I'm his son? Tell me the truth."
She bit her lip and looked away but he wouldn't let her. Brushing his hand over her jaw he urged her chin up with his forefinger to meet his eyes. There was no fighting the grown up talk. "Yes." She admitted carefully. "That, and what you said to me the first time we kissed. How you thought I saw you as his replacement. It made me start to believe that I was betraying him if I looked at you the same way."
Kolyat grimaced and closed his eyes while he took a deep breath. A heartbeat passing before he opened them and stared back down at her. Traces of his irises starting to surface.
"I should have never said that."
"But-"
"No. That was unforgivable. I was scared too. I didn't think that anyone would actually look at me, the way you looked at me that night."
"Like what?"
"Like I meant something."
Shepard dropped her hands while he allowed her to put a little space between them. They both had their own scars. Pain and doubts about themselves that skewed their views about the world and everything around them. Not each other. They didn't need to feel that way any longer with one another.
"I care about you, and you mean so much more to me than you realize."
His lips quirked up slowly, gaze softening, blue horizons breaking through perpetual darkness. She took his hand and guided his wrist towards her mouth, a drells silent declaration. He tensed and held it firm stopping her from putting her lips flush against the heartbeat on his inner wrist. She looked back up at him in uncertainty, patiently waiting after he quietly murmured her name.
"I know you will always love him, and I don't care who was in your heart before. Just assure me that there is at least a small part still open, so that I may be given the chance to fill it up over time."
She smiled sadly and shook her head teasingly. "You're really good at that smooth talk."
"I'm not smooth talking. I'm being serious."
"I know….That's what makes it ten times worse."
He growled her name in warning when she moved back to touch his wrist, once again guiding it to her mouth. Her cheeks were burning now, almost as hot as his gaze as he watched her. If eyes could ignite and consume you, than Kolyat was burning her alive. Her lips touched his inner arm and she heard him purr suggestively, moving closer against her to give her a better angle.
"I want you to be sure before you do that. Are you ready for all of me?"
"I'm ready. I think I can handle you." She ran her cheek over the inside of his wrist as if she was trying to scent mark him before teasing her lips over his pulse, a light flick of her tongue. She grinned when she heard his breath catch right before her lips sealed firmly over the sensitive area, showing him that she was ready.
He laughed darkly and she pulled back to stare up at him. A low sensual deep baritone of male satisfaction vibrating in his chest as his lips spread into a wicked grin. He tilted her head back, a beautiful cobra ready to strike. Deep blue waters shining at her in desire.
"You know… there are other things that I am really good at as well. Give me the opportunity and I will show you over time." Kolyat didn't give her a moment to respond. His lips were on hers demanding acceptance and submission while he pulled her flush against his body, trapping her hands between them. She was more than happy to lose herself in the storm that he produced within her. It was time to take the risk and allow the waves surround her.
"Tell me you want me." He murmured darkly, pulling his lips away to bite her neck, a run of his tongue, hitching her breath, allowing a moan to escape her half parted lips.
"I want you." She almost stammered feeling his scorching tongue trailing towards her ear.
"Tell me you need me."
"Kolyat…" She trembled in his grasp.
"Tell me you want this."
"Yes… I want this."
He growled and kissed her again, deeper this time, his tongue capturing hers in possession. He let her move her hands now and they were everywhere she could touch, his face, his shoulders, the hard vastness of his chest and stomach. His hips pushed against hers until he guided her back against the wall, her lips never leaving his. His kisses were desperate and harsh, and she couldn't concentrate on anything else than his musk and scent. The exquisite aromas his body produced. She felt as if she was losing herself. She wanted to lose herself in him. She wanted to experience it all, to lick his frills, kiss his chest, and get lost in his ripped stomach. She wanted to know what his cum tasted like. His future promises and dreams. His hands were on her hips like a vice holding her to him, but keeping enough distance to make her shake in desperation.
"Kolyat…you should invite me in." She breathed between nips and kisses, running her tongue over the shape of his mouth, biting the swell of his bottom lip, pulling on it before sucking it gently. He moaned into her and chuckled deeply, pulling away to give her a chaste kiss upon her lips.
"I don't think we should."
Shepard smiled and drew herself away to look up at him, her hands holding his shoulders, fingers caressing the back of his neck. He smiled, bright and full of joy. His palms running over her upper arms, eyes glittering in amusement.
"This sounds familiar. Is this the part where I get to say something inappropriate and you get pissed now?"
"We both had our moments." She grinned up at him and watched as his face turned serious and dark. His lips falling into a thin line.
"I want to do this right."
"What do you mean?"
"I'll take you out tomorrow after I finish my shift."
"You don't have to take me out. A night naked in bed with you is good enough for me." Shepard kissed him lightly smiling into his mouth suggestively feeling how aroused he already was for her. Keeping his mouth closed he pushed her hips away again making her groan in objection puffing her cheeks in annoyance.
"I don't want this to be just sex. I want so much more than that."
"Kolyat-"
"Sarah, please…I want to do this properly."
"Fine." She gave in begrudgingly. "You win."
"This is not a game." He answered earnestly. His dark expression making her chuckle, another feather light kiss to reassure him, fingers dancing over the back of his neck as she followed a trail of stripes over his shoulder. She pulled away and met his gaze, grinning in enjoyment.
"Then why do I feel like you cheat every time you touch me and I'm powerless against you?"
"Funny… that's exactly how I feel about you. So we'll go out tomorrow? You won't disappear on me again?"
"Yes…I'll go out with you. I won't disappear, I promise."
"A date?"
She grinned and wrinkled her nose. "A date."
He kissed her again fluidly overpowering her, angling her head back and leaving her at his mercy. The spice of his tongue melting her insides, making her whimper for more. A loud cough alerting her to another person's presence. Pulling back she looked to her side. A light blue and silver plated male turian stared at them with a bag clutched in his hands. Mandibles flickering as he grinned at the two of them, feeling Kolyat pull away reluctantly.
"Sorry Latikus. Go ahead." Kolyat apologized making her realize that they had been blocking the narrow hallway as he moved them closer against the wall.
"No worries Kolyat. Enjoy the rest of your night." He grinned wider eyeing her and nodding as he passed. "Have a goodnight ma'am."
"You too." She smiled watching as he stopped in front of the door directly across from Kolyat's before disappearing inside. "Well… that will give your neighbor something to talk about now."
Kolyat snorted back a laugh and pulled completely away from her. "Latikus is a good guy. We've had a couple of drinks. He's been here longer than me. Give me a minute. I'll be right back."
"You're really not going to let me in?"
He eyed her skeptically as he turned to open his door, grinning broadly. "I don't trust myself right now, and my apartment is a mess."
"That doesn't bother me." She tried to reassure him but he just shook his head telling her to give him a minute once more before disappearing inside.
She stayed in the hallway, leaning her back against the wall, unable to hide the giant smile and giddy feeling swirling around in her stomach. She suddenly felt nervous but not in a bad way. The anticipation and excitement of finally being ready for this. A fifteen year old waiting for the boy she liked.
Stop it. You already fucked him dummy… twice… well more than twice… maybe we could count days instead of orgasms?
He was only gone another moment before he reappeared, sporting his leather pants and combat boots, pulling on the black leather jacket she had bought him over the same tank top. The metal of his gun flashing in the lights of the hallway moving out of sight as he threw the leathers around his shoulders and over his arms. Holding out his hand for her, she grasped it in her palm, still feeling the sudden shyness rage war within her. His gentle pleased expression washing it all away in certainty.
Slowly and without speaking they spent time walking around the outer rim of the Zakera Ward, nowhere in particular, just hand in hand enjoying one another's company. For once in a long time she felt calm and at peace. Her heart was still going a mile a minute, but she just figured that was the effect Kolyat had over her now. Even on the transport back to the Presidium they were silent as he pulled her against his chest against him, his arm draped around her comfortably, resting one of her hands on his knee. His fingers gently guiding over the back of her knuckles in a soothing motion. When they reached the Lobby of the Gemini Towers Kolyat finally let her hand go, stopping to turn her to look at him. She smiled but grabbed his hand again playfully to pull him forward.
"You're not going to walk me to my door?"
"I don't think that's such a good idea." He grinned and murmured eyes trailing behind her to Jarrod who glanced at them and then back at his security monitors giving them their privacy, although she knew they were being eavesdropped on. Sarah pushed herself against his chest smiling shamelessly her finger trailing over the cotton shirt and up his chest, trying to give him her best seductive look.
"Just to my door. I promise I'll behave."
"Why don't I believe you?" He grinned wickedly as she chuckled back and turned walking towards the elevators, moving her hips a little more liberally enticing him to follow. She waved to Jarrod who smiled and stood to greet them both. Kolyat nodded saying hello as he trailed behind her into the elevator.
She kept quiet on the way up, thinking about all the naughty things she wanted to do to try and convince him to come into her apartment with her. Her body ached for him now, despite the fact that they had already been together in her office this afternoon. When they were at her door she turned towards him eagerly, his eyes softening when he gazed down at her.
"I really enjoy that expression."
"What expression?"
"Like you can't wait for me to touch you." He murmured, lifting his hand to her cheek, cupping her face in his palm, pulling himself down to her lips to lightly brush his lips against hers…. But she wanted so much more than what he was willing to give in that moment. She was about to show him how much.
Shepard grabbed the collar of his jacket crudely bunching it in her palms and forced her body flush against his, turning gentle into rough and desperate. He exhaled loudly immediately turning his face away as his hands snaked around her hips. She licked his frills and sucked gently on the folds instinct making him angle his head back giving her better access to his throat. A moan escaping his mouth as his eyes slid closed from her administrations.
A breathy hiss as he whispered. "You said you would behave."
"I lied." She returned arrogantly, sucking on his neck knowing that would drive him towards the edge of restraint. He groaned again, a shudder going through him. In a second he grabbed and pushed her against the wall devouring her mouth, his tongue plundering her like she was a treasure to be robbed.
She felt out of control. Her hands pushed under his jacket and around to the base of his back. His hand on her thigh now as the kisses turned into a frenzy of lips and tongue and overwhelming exotic spice. Grabbing her leg roughly he hiked it around his waist and pushed her up higher against the wall, pinning her body against his, her toes barley grazing the marbled floor. His other hand slipped to the dip of her back, being careful of her gun as she arched her back for more room. He adjusted them slightly when he realized his own started pushing into her ribs.
Kolyat pulled his lips away and bit her neck harshly making a sigh escape her throat, his hand reaching below the hem of her skirt bunching it over her upper thighs dipping down to the juncture between her legs. She was so hot and ready for him, her arousal making moisture coat her inner legs. She wanted to cry in frustration. His fingers were so close, so freaking close…almost there. He hissed as his hand went over the front of her realizing there wasn't anything there to stop him. She snickered throatily as he licked her neck again nipping a trail towards her ear.
"Did you forget that you stole my underwear?"
Hearing him groan deeply, his fingers trailed over her opening testing her moisture.
"Your smell is intoxicating…"
"Kolyat, please." She begged pulling her leg up higher, pushing herself against his fingers. She was vaguely aware of his labored breathing. The heavy rise and fall of his chest as he licked and bit his lip trying to find control. She didn't care anymore, she needed this. She needed him. He dipped his fused fingers between her outer lips and into her slowly. She gasped and gripped him harder in anticipation crying out in bliss as he pushed slowly inside and thumbed her clit softly.
"Oh God, yes." She whimpered out breathily, grinding her hips upon his hand. Another nip at her neck and he was finding a steady rhythm moving his double finger within her, the purr in his throat getting louder in arousal.
"More…please more." She pleaded. Her hands going to the buckle of his pants. She needed him inside her, needed to chant his name over and over if that is what he wished from her. She would convince him all night, if that is what he wanted. He growled out a curse just as she fumbled in determination, finally unlatching his belt, wanting to cry out in triumph, overcoming the worst invention ever.
"The security code."
"What?"
"What is your security code?" He demanded, withdrawing his fingers making her groan in protest.
It was just enough to make her think though. Stammering out her code he reached his arm out to hit the keypad on the side of her door, slamming his palm against the final button just as her tongue went back to his frills nipping at his sensitive flesh. He hissed once more as the door opened and she wrapped her arms around his neck as he hooked his hand beneath her knees and hoisted her into his arms like she weighed the same as a pillow.
He opened his mouth, allowing her tongue to claim his as she melted into his hold, more than willing to take everything he would give her and return just as much while he carried her into the apartment and towards her bedroom. Her last thought before passion overwhelmed her was that they had just given Jarrod a nice little show on the security feed.