A/N: I have no excuse for my lack of update except life and school. Anyways, sorry for the wait, thank you for the kind reviews and I hope some of you are still interested in reading this!
Also, this is not beta and I am very sick and feverish.
Ka'Ka'Te: Until Later
Firangi
Chapter 21: Ka'Ka'Te
Silence.
It was the only sound filling Kagome's head. She could not forget how quiet it was once the cries stopped and void filled her mind ever since then. Sesshomaru brought her back inside the den and they both lay down on the furs but she never returned to sleep. Instead, she remained still until the full morning light shun upon the village. Then, Sesshomaru got up but did not leave the den for a while. Probably because he knew she was awake and was waiting to see if she would move. When she did not, he exited their home but she could tell by his aura that he had no desire to be out there.
Now that she was alone, she sat with her back pressed against the wall. She was curious to see Izayoi and to ask her about what took place in the early morning but part of her was afraid to actually see her. Her eyes appeared so empty, so void.
There was still the possibility that she saw something that was not. After all, nobody seemed panicked in the tribe; all the auras were calmed, except for a few worried ones but that was mostly because everyone prayed Inutaisho and the others were safe and they feared another attack.
"Eat."
The sound of a deep voice brought her out of her thoughts. She looked up at Sesshomaru as he held with his one hand a chunk of meat - probably the last of their reserve.
He was using his only arm to hold it and was tilting back and forth, his balance weak since he could not hold himself. He did not know this new body yet and he did not know how to use it or yield it. He used to be a weapon and now he was broken. He would have to find a way to fix himself before it was too late and he had to watch everything he desired vanish in front of his eyes.
He put the meat down in front of her and remained standing. She saw a weaker part of him and she gave him a moment of peace, a moment where he did not have to think about the fact that he only had one arm. However, he would not spend his time looking weak in front of her. He was her mate and her alpha - the one in control. It began with him feeding her. Even though he hated to admit that his abilities were not as great anymore, it was a reality he had to face. Even when he was at full strength, she often got hurt. Now that he could not defend her, he needed her to be strong. He did not want her to have to defend herself but he wanted her prepared.
Kagome reached out for the meat and brought it closer but did not touch it. She tilted her head up and looked into Sesshomaru's eyes. "Izayoi?"
He arched his eyebrows, confused. He knew this time she was not using the wrong word but what he did not understand was what she wanted to know about his mother.
"Izayoi?" she repeated when she did not get an answer. She tried to read his emotions but they did not tell her what she wished to find out.
"She is with Inuyasha," he finally decided to answer. Perhaps she required his mother and needed to know her location.
Sesshomaru was not worried; she could tell that much by his voice. Perhaps what she saw in Izayoi's eyes was not emptiness but rather sadness? Maybe she could not sleep because she was concerned about her mate's safety? Surely her own sons would know if something was not right with her.
Kagome nodded to let Sesshomaru know she got her answer and then she began ripping off small chunks of the meat and nibbling on them.
Satisfied that she was eating, Sesshomaru turned around and left her alone. Although he wondered in the back of his mind if she willingly complied because she was giving into his authority or because she did not want to wound his already bruised pride. He chose not to think about it, even though it might fuel his rage and help him in his recovery.
Last night, she made him feel better. This time, he would not require her assistance to feel powerful.
He would isolate himself and learn how to function with one arm. Nobody thought he could fight and he intended on proving them wrong. He refused to stay in the village like the females. He was a warrior and he did not need to be protected - he was the protector.
Unfortunately, he was certain that if he walked through the gates of their village, his mother would stop him or worse: his little brother would get in his way. Since he disliked both options, he had to sneak out of his own tribe. It was shameful and below him but they left him with very little other options. He scanned the area very carefully before approaching the wretched water. It was the best way to leave the village unnoticed although it also seemed to be the best way to get attack around here.
Because Sesshomaru could not swim with one arm yet, and he would not risk it, he was forced to take the long path around instead of simply crossing the small river. Each step he took make him feel more like a failure but he knew his pride was not worth his life or at least not in this specific situation. In a fight? Yes. Against a river? No.
Plus, the only one who was here to notice his hurt pride was himself. Currently, he was proving his worth to no one. Until he mastered fighting with one arm, he could not defend his honor against anyone.
Once he reached where the river was at its lowest point, he crossed and walked until he found a small clearing in the forest. Then, he began.
No one was here but the quietness. No one was here to watch him fall and fail.
Except two red eyes glowing in the trees going undetected.
-F-
He was gone. He left her all alone.
Inuyasha was sitting near Sesshomaru and Kagome's den, his face twitching. His brother left a while ago, without telling anyone, and nobody knew where he was. Inuyasha was the only one who was aware that he was missing and he had no intention of sharing that piece of information with anyone. Worrying his mother would bring no good and he was not going to let people risk their lives to go search for him. If Sesshomaru got in trouble, it would be because of his own fault and he could get himself out of it.
Who knew, perhaps he would lose the other arm as well? Then maybe he would cease to be so damn arrogant.
Inuyasha preferred to stay near the tribe to watch over Kagome. He was doing his brother's duty. Perhaps people would start noticing that Inuyasha was a better leader. It was not as if he did not know what people whispered about. They would not dare to disrespect him and they knew he was a great warrior but he was not at Sesshomaru's level - his old level. Even though his older brother could never be the same warrior he used to be, Inuyasha always felt less than him. He needed to use these opportunities to show people he should have been the first born all along, the only true worthy leader.
Only one of his dreams was not achievable: mating Kagome. Yes, there was still the possibility that his brother could die now that he could not defend himself but Inuyasha, no matter how much he despised him, did not want his brother dead. Not only that but Kagome could not bear children. Now that their bloodline was more at risk than ever he had to have a fertile mate. Although, he could still perhaps have her before he settled down. As much as he found it unfair, if Kagome lost Sesshomaru, she would never be a mate again. Especially since she was from another tribe.
It seemed the only way he could have a taste of her would be to borrow her from his brother - without his permission of course. He did often wonder if Kagome would let him have her if he was nice enough to her. He refused to completely give up hope.
Every now and then, Inuyasha would look at the den, almost hoping to see Kagome emerge. From what he could tell, she was healthy or at least healthier than recently. There was no reason for her to stay locked up. He could go see her but he had a feeling his mother would not appreciate his intrusion and he had no desire to get a lecture. She was technical the one in charge at the moment and he had to completely obey her.
However, to Inuyasha's complete surprise, his mother was the one to go check on Kagome. Izayoi quietly made her way to the den and pushed the curtains asides to enter.
A smile was upon her face while she looked at Kagome. "Hello, child," she said as she dropped to her knees.
Kagome, who was laying, brought her knees to her chest and offered Izayoi a smile. She tried to remind herself that this Izayoi was the same Izayoi as ever and that what she saw was brought on by confusion.
"How are you?"
Kagome pinched her lips for a moment before nodding. "Good," she tried, hoping she understood correctly.
"I am pleased to hear it," Izayoi said before reaching out for her cheek. She gently cupped it before squeezing it. "We would not want anything bad to happen to you, child."
From what Kagome understood, Izayoi's words were meant to be soft and kind but her tone was not. Did she not understand as many words as she thought she did?
Suddenly, Izayoi's grip on her cheek tightened to the point where it almost hurt. Kagome tried to pull away but Izayoi did not let her. A panic formed inside her and that attracted a nearby watcher. Thinking Kagome was hurt or that perhaps his mother needed help tending to her, Inuyasha rushed to the den. The sight he found inside was not one he expected. It only took a moment for Izayoi to release Kagome and smile.
"Are you well, son?"
"Is Kagome hurt?"
"No, of course not. I was checking on her well-being and she is fine."
His eyes traveled from Kagome to his mother and even though he wanted to be, he was not convinced. Nonetheless, he nodded.
"I will prepare her some food," Izayoi added as she rose to her feet.
She walked past Inuyasha as if nothing was strange. He meant to leave after her but instead he stayed. "Are you scared?"
Scared. She heard that word before. Now the question was, could she tell Inuyasha the truth? She did not even tell Sesshomaru. No, it had to be that she was going crazy. It was the only logical answer. And yet, there he stood, waiting to believe whatever she would say - even if he could not understand it. She sighed, even more confused than before.
"Izayoi," she finally said.
"She is hurt?" he tried.
She shook her head. "Not Izayoi."
"Izayoi is not the one hurt?" It felt strange to refer to his mother by her name but he assumed it would be less confusing for Kagome if he did that.
Kagome grew frustrated as she came to the conclusion that she probably did not know enough words to explain herself. "Izayoi not Izayoi." Hopefully that would make more sense to Inuyasha than her previous statement.
His mother was not his mother? "Who is Izayoi?"
All Kagome could offer as an answer was a shrug. She did not know what happened to her but she was not the same. Kagome pointed to her eyes. "Empty," she added.
Perhaps Kagome ran a fever? His mother seemed the same to him and nobody appeared to notice a change either. Even her aura was unchanged. Either that or Kagome remained extremely confused by their language. Nonetheless, he did not wish to insult her so he nodded. "I will look," he promised.
Kagome seemed less tense and she bowed in appreciation.
After a moment of silence, Inuyasha left her alone even though he wished to stay by her side.
Her words remained with him however, and even though he was certain his mother was well, he promised to look into it and he would keep that promise.
-F-
The sun had time to disappear into the horizon and set high in the sky again and yet there was still no answer from the black haired inuyoukai tribe. Inutaisho and his men were growing impatient especially when they were thinking about their tribe who was currently missing warriors. It was not safe. How could Byakuya not understand that? This was not only the best option it was also the only option.
Nonetheless, Inutaisho knew that being aggressive would not help the situation. All he could do was sit and wait for the answer. He prayed it would be in favor of his solution.
"Chief, how long must we wait?"
"Until they answer. Until we convince them." He sighed. "I refuse to return to our tribe empty handed."
If this did not work, he did not have solution for his people. He refused to fail them.
"Yes, Chief."
Inutaisho rested his elbows on his thighs and joined his fingers together. The only way he could help was by praying to his own Kamis. They might be different from Byakuya's but Inutaisho was convinced they all wanted the safety of the tribes.
Meanwhile, Rin watched from afar. She was just as eager as them to get her father's answer. Although she wanted nothing more than to be able to see her little sister again she knew the silver haired inuyoukais were simply trouble They brought unhappiness and bad luck everywhere they went and she did not want anything to do with them. Though, if their predictions were right, and she doubted they were, this might actually be their only chance. She was confused. She knew that as a leader she should not let her feelings get in the way of what was best for the tribe but… she always had a bad feeling about them.
Regardless, she would have to follow her father and the Kamis' decision.
She wondered if Onigumo would follow, if he would come to the next tribe. It would not be as safe for him and more people might be able to detect him. She knew if they found out about him, they would not treat him kindly. They were too blinded by the rage to see that not everyone was an enemy. She would never forgive herself if something happened to him because of her.
If they left, she might never see him again.
"Rin."
The sound of her father's voice made her jolt and she quickly turned around. "Yes, Father?"
"The Kamis have made their decision. It is time to go speak with the silver haired inuyoukais. As my heir, you must come with me."
"What have they said, Father?" she asked, her curiosity getting the best out of her.
"You will learn their decision at the same time as everybody else, daughter. Now come."
A hint of darkness and sadness glimmered in his eyes and Rin could already tell she would not like the answer. However since it was her duty she followed her father as he joined the others around the fire. She tried to act as normal as possible while she stood by his side. She realized she would not understand the language he was about to speak but she knew the silver inuyoukai's reactions would be enough for her to understand what was happening with her tribe.
"Inutaisho. Answer for you."
Inutaisho rose to his feet and offered the other leader a small bow. "What Kamis say?"
"The Kamis agreed with you. They say save people."
Relief washed all over Inutaisho while a smile appeared on his face. They might all make it out of this war alive after all. "I thank you Kamis."
As soon as Rin saw the happiness on the other leader's face her whole world fell apart. It was truly happening; they were losing everything. She wished to scream how unfair it was and how they, apparently being the lesser ones, would lose their power, their leadership. However, it was impossible for her to argue with her father and the Kamis' decision. What was done was done; they were leaving forever.
Unable to look ahead any longer, she stared at the ground.
"When we leave?" Inutaisho asked.
"Tomorrow morning. I warn people. We pack."
Byakuya had a feeling Inutaisho's tribe also struggled and he wanted to bring as much as he could since he was well aware that the silver inuyoukais tribe would come first and that they would not help them. Why would they? They were strangers and lesser inuyoukais. If they wanted something from now on, they would have to fight for it. The idea still did not please him but he could not argue with the Kamis. If this was the faith they chose for him and his tribe then he would obey by their laws and do as they said. The Kamis always helped during the difficult time and Byakuya intended on following the right path for his people.
"Thank you."
Inutaisho turned to his people with hope shinning in his eyes. "We will return a bigger tribe tomorrow."
"Will we be able to handle this many people? Is our territory big enough?"
"Do not fear. They will have their own territories beside ours. If we mingle too much, I foresee many troubles and fights happening."
"Can we survive with this many people?"
"We will not be responsible for them. They will have to provide for themselves and hunt like we do. We will simply be co-habitating." At least, it was the plan but he feared it might become complicated. If only Sesshomaru was still the leader to be then his mating with Kagome would help and ease the whole situation.
Perhaps he was wrong before. Although Sesshomaru's situation made him unfit to be the next leader, for the moment he might be the only one who could bring peace between the two tribes. Actually, not him per say, but him and Kagome as a whole. Inutaisho decided that it would be wise to temporarily return to Sesshomaru his rightful honor. Inuyasha would not appreciate but it would be for show only. Considering the troubles that laid ahead with their enemies, they did not need troubles coming from the inside. They needed to be as one.
Inutaisho's problems might be solved but not Byakuya's. His people would obey by his and the Kami's decision but it did not mean they would like it. A small part of him feared a rebellion or a disgruntled attitude. They might not see yet how beneficial this was for everyone. Did they not realize how many they lost during the last attack? Inutaisho's plan might not currently be flawless but Byakuya was certain that with some work and strategy they could save many lives in both tribes.
Relinquishing some of his control displeased him but now that he was thinking with a clearer mind and without his pride interfering he could see that it was the only solution to the dilemma.
"How shall we share the new situation, Father?"
From her tone alone, Byakuya could see how displeased Rin was. This would not work. "You will have to improve your attitude, daughter. If you are not happy about this, our people will sense it."
"I am not happy with the arrangements made."
When she dared to disrespect him, when she went against his wish, he could see where Kagome obtained her wild side. After all, Rin was the only mother figure Kagome had.
"What keeps you here, daughter? You have no mate. You have lost many sisters. Can you not see that only tragedy is left here?"
"They brought it with them. They inflicted their bad luck upon us, Father. Before their arrival, we were peaceful, alive and happy."
"It was only a matter of time. Death would have soiled our grounds too eventually even without their visits."
"If you believe so."
Rage flashed in his eyes and he came to a halt. "I do not care if you approve or not, Rin. You will simply do what I ask of you. It is your duty and you have never strayed from it. Do not fail me now."
"I will do as you ask."
Sometimes, she wondered if the only difference between her and Kagome was that her little sister lacked self-control or rather that she chose not to control herself. Although, it never truly helped her in the end since it got her mated to that horrible male and it took her away from her home. Perhaps, it was best to do as one was told.
She cleansed her rage and her emotions as she followed her father.
Hopefully, she would have a chance to say goodbye to Onigumo.
-F-
This was not the plan.
'You promised it would be different. You said - you said it would not work out, that they would refuse.'
'Do you believe this will work? They will kill each other and we will swoop in and take what we need.'
'What if they act civilized?'
'When have they ever done that? And do not forget our two weapons. We have Rin. She is not happy about this and she will bring trouble. And we also have her.'
'She will not help the plan. How will it break them apart?'
'We could use the outcome of her situation to our advantage. If we wait and use her correctly she might be the perfect weapon to turn them against one and another.'
'Fine,' he said finally calmer. He could still get revenge and get the woman he loved. It all remained very possible.
'Although, if Rin does not behave she will become more of an inconvenience than anything else.'
'What do you mean?'
'She might share with her sister what happened. She loves Kagome, she missed her. If she says too much, Kagome will not approach us.'
He did not even consider that possibility. In his mind, the two tribes would never be one. Now the girls would have a chance to speak with each other. Fortunately, there was a quick and easy solution to the problem.
'If she begins to blabber, we kill her.'
'Then it is settled. One last meeting with Rin and we follow them back to the silver inuyoukais' tribe.'
He was happy and frustrated at the same time. There was always a set back and now he missed her and oh how he craved her. Tasting Rin's flesh left him wanting more and now he was in need of the real thing, not the replacement. If things did not move along faster, he might lose his calm and that would be unwise.
He simply needed to hold on a bit longer and all would be his and they would scream, just like the people in his head did. Those savages would finally know the kind of pain they inflicted on others.
-F-
The sun was low in the sky by the time Sesshomaru returned. His mother did not ask about his whereabouts, which led him to assume she truly never noticed he was gone. His brother however watched him with hatred shining in his eyes. Although, it was a habit of his lately, since he was so interested in Sesshomaru's mate and it did not mean he saw Sesshomaru leave the village.
He did not bother to make any stop and instead he went straight for his den. He expected to find Kagome laying there but instead he was greeted by emptiness. He arched an eyebrow intrigued and went back outside. His first instinct was to think that something happened to her; after all, it was almost always the case. He spotted his brother and double check to make sure he was alone. If Inuyasha kept guard all day, like Sesshomaru expected, nobody could have harmed Kagome.
"Where is she?"
"Where is who?"
"Do not play games with me, little brother."
"If you want to know where your mate is perhaps you should not have left her alone." He smirked. "How were the woods?"
So he did see him. "What I do with my time is none of your concern. Also, she is free. She is allowed to move within the boundaries of the tribe without my permission."
"Really? I always believed she was to obey your every rules to help your ego."
Sesshomaru's eyes flashed red but he contained himself. Inuyasha chose a bad moment to piss him off. He spent all day pushing himself to his limit and he was in no mood to deal with an idiot. Every inch of his body hurt and if he listened to himself he would be in his den, sleeping the pain away.
"Where is she?"
"She is with mother."
Inuyasha kept his promise to Kagome and checked on his mother but just as before, she seemed fine. Kagome, from what he could tell, did not seem convinced. She warily went out there and met up with Izayoi herself for a second time. It was the last time he saw her today but he knew she was fine since he could sense her aura. He could have checked up on her with his own two eyes but he was certain his mother would have sent him away and instead chose to remain where he was.
Sesshomaru gave him a nod and headed towards his mother's den. Immediately, he saw the two women on the floor, talking or at least trying to do so. He remembered the strange conversation Kagome had with him this morning about his mother. What was her obsession with Izayoi? Suspicious, he quietly joined them.
"Mother."
"Sesshomaru."
Kagome raised her head and looked at him as if nothing was wrong. She no longer had that scared and confused look in her eyes.
"Join us," his mother offered.
He sat beside Kagome in complete silence.
"I was trying to teach Kagome a few words. Have you been trying too as well?"
Lately, they did one thing in the presence of each other and it had nothing to do with talking. Although, he was certain that if they spoke it would only lead to more fights. At least when they did not communicate things were bearable and he found her tolerable.
"Not yet."
"Sesshomaru, you have to try harder."
"I do not see the point, Mother. She will not be the leader of our people anymore and does not need to learn how to communicate with them."
Izayoi frowned. "Sesshomaru, I know you are displeased with the situation. However, nothing is set in stone and you cannot let this poor girl be left to herself any longer. Perhaps she would enjoy sharing and talking with some of the members of the tribe."
He was not one to enjoy conversations and most of the time she gave him the impression that she was a loner. She clearly did not want anyone's help and he was sure that if she could leave and be free on her own, she would do it. They were not her people and they never would be.
"She needs to be a part of our tribe." She reached out for him and covered his hands with hers. "What about when you have pups? She will need to be able to speak to them in our language."
At her words, both Sesshomaru and Kagome flinched. Kagome did not understand the whole thing but she comprehended enough to be puzzled by what Izayoi just said. Sesshomaru on the other hand was simply utterly baffled.
"Mother, you are well aware that there will be no children."
Izayoi blinked and for a moment her face went blank. "Right." A semi nervous laugh escaped her. "You are right. I am sorry, it just slipped my mind." She offered them both a smile before retracting her hands.
"I think I will leave the two of you alone. You have not seen each other today." She hurried to her feet before going inside her den. Lately, she always remained outside, waiting for her mate to return, but today she was changing her routine and Sesshomaru found it strange.
Now, it intrigued him. It might be worth trying to speak with Kagome this time. Although, he could not do that in front of his mother's den. He grabbed his mate's hand, forcing her on her feet, and he dragged her back into their home. She followed without putting any resistance. She was a bit confused as to why he seemed in such a hurry. From what she saw, he loved his mother very much and today she was able to confirm that nothing was wrong with Izayoi. The older female smiled and spoke to her like she always did before.
Perhaps the morning's incident was due to confusion or her lack of understanding of this tribe's rituals. It had to be.
He nearly threw her on the fur when they got inside and she slightly yelped in pain. She was doing better but her injuries remained.
"What do you think is wrong with her?"
Not really understanding him, Kagome shrugged.
"Izayoi. What is wrong?"
Kagome frowned like she was focusing on the words to speak. "Nothing is the wrong."
This had to be the price he was paying for not teaching her their language like he should have. He took a deep breath while he tried to think of easier words she would know. "Morning. You ask about Izayoi."
Part of her was shocked he remembered what she said; it did not seem like he cared this morning. "I wrong."
"Izayoi is fine?"
She nodded.
Then why could he not get that feeling out of his mind? Perhaps his exhaustion was messing with him. Defeated, he laid down by her side and closed his eyes. Kagome tilted her head and observed him. He felt her hovering above his body as if she was scanning him and he did not like it. Suddenly he felt her move and before he even open his eyes, he snatched her wrist and held it tight. When he looked at her, he noticed her face was extremely close to his.
"Sweat," she said quietly.
She saw him fight, she saw him come back dirty and muddy but this was different. He did not look like someone who got into a fight, he looked like someone who struggled. It made her wonder even more where he was all day. If he did not tell her then it did not concern her but she was curious. She did not sense his presence nearby which meant he went far away from here… alone and injured.
"Fight," he answered as he let go of her wrist.
She was right. He struggled… with himself.
Physically, they were both broken. Now she wondered if they were not both broken inside as well.
For a while, after she learned she would not bear any children, she thought he would drop her. After all, she had to have a pup did she not? Then he stayed with her which both surprised her and for a bit, disappointed her. Now however, he was considered just as much in a bad shape as she was. He was even no longer the next in line to be Chief. Considering that and his missing arm, she was not convinced he would find someone else.
She was not exactly sure how that made her feel.
When Kagome raised her head she saw he was looking straight into her eyes. She did the same while allowing her now free hand to travel. She dared to the touch his shoulder, where his arm was missing, and she felt him tense up beneath her fingertips.
"Pain?"
"No."
It was not painful. At first, there was a constant throbbing, now however it was just empty. Sometimes, it felt like his arm was still there, like he could move it but then reality always came crashing upon him.
Kagome's mother could have maybe helped him; she was blessed by the Kamis. Early on, they granted her amazing healing powers. She could do what no others could and became the tribe's seer. Perhaps a missing limb was even too much for her but Kagome's case might have been fixed. She remembered Rin telling her about their mother's special powers. A bright pink light, almost white and blinding, would come out of her fingers and she would bring the near dead back to full health or she would close up big wounds in a matter of instant.
It was her gift.
Unfortunately, none of her children were blessed like her. Nobody else was bestowed the gift.
Sesshomaru decided Kagome's hand traveled far enough and he re captured it. Her eyes shone with curiosity and a hint of sadness. He could not ask her why but he did find himself wondering what was going through her mind.
It also crossed his mind to take her as his duty and status stated he should. However, the simple fact of holding her hand away from his shoulder was taking all the energy he had left. During his training, he did not take a single break. Instead, he forced himself to keep pushing until he could no longer lift his arm.
When Kagome shifted, he thought she was trying to get away. Instead, she pressed her ear to his heart. He stiffened but she did not move.
She listened to his heartbeat and felt the way it sent a pulse through her. Sesshomaru and her had nothing in common. They were different youkais who should not have been put together. Before they met, he was strong and so was she. Now they were two broken pieces never to be put right together.
Slowly, her heart synced with his and he began to feel the same heavy feeling in his heart as she did.
For the briefest moment, it was only one heart beating.
Then, for the very first time, she did not feel like a stranger who did not belong.
Shocking them both, their bond pulsed for the first time.
-F-