They managed to get to the diner without incident, and since it was still pretty early for a Saturday morning, the diner was all but empty. Only seconds after they had been seated at a table, the waitress, who looked right out of high school, appeared at the table.
"Hi," she smiled a bit anxiously at Lance and tucked her hair behind her ear. "What can I get for you this morning?"
"Coffee, please," Kitty ordered while scanning through the laminated menu.
"Same, and milk. Whole if you have it," Lance placed his hand over his eyes and sighed as he wished for a blackout to suddenly occur that would only affect the fluorescent lights and crackly speakers that pumped 80's pop music.
"Orange juice," Palmer added with a nervous look to the girl. She scurried away, quickly returning with two mugs and a carafe. She plunked an empty cup down in front of Kitty before carefully pouring one for Lance.
"Do you want sugar or anything?" she directed at Lance who was still shielding his eyes and quietly cursing the work-out craze that led to "Let's Get Physical" becoming a big enough hit song to plague him decades later.
"Sugar would be great," Kitty sighed as she looked at Lance's full cup longingly.
"None for me," Lance mumbled. The waitress left to tend to a young couple a few tables away and Kitty reached over the table with a grunt to pour herself some coffee. Palmer watched in amusement as the girl returned with the other drinks and a sugar bowl which she set in front of Lance.
"I thought you might change your mind and want a little something sweet," she winked as Lance finally looked up. He almost immediately passed the sugar over to Kitty who was muttering under her breath. "Are you guys ready to order?"
"The biggest waffle you have," Kitty grumbled. "And bacon. And hash browns. No, fruit."
"Someone's hungry," the waitress mumbled, turning her attention before Kitty could glare at her.
"Scrambled eggs, bacon, and hash browns," Palmer rattled off quickly.
"Fried eggs, bacon and sausage, and pancakes," Lance handed over the menus.
"A healthy appetite is very… attractive," the girl beamed before going to place their order. They sat in awkward silence with only Paula Abdul's pleas for "straight-up" honesty playing in the background for several minutes until finally Palmer had to ask.
"So… how do you do that?" Palmer asked Lance.
"Do what?" he looked up from his coffee.
"You're kidding, right?" Kitty laughed.
"She's like… my age," Palmer explained, "but she's all over you."
"Waiters flirt for tips," Lance shook his head. "I used to do it."
"But…" Palmer started but cut himself off as the waitress was bringing over their food. She smiled kindly at him as she served his food, forced one for Kitty, but gave Lance a whole show.
"Enjoy!" she bit her lip shyly before bouncing away to another table.
"What. The. F…" Lance cut himself off as he stared down at his food. The eggs and bacon were arranged in a smiley face while his pancakes were topped in a tower of whip cream with a cherry on top.
"She's smitten," Kitty teased and reached over to pluck the cherry and pop it in her mouth with a smirk.
"Could she at least do it without ruining my food?" Lance moaned, poking a fork at his plate.
"This is so not normal," Palmer shook his head. "Does this always happen to you?"
"No," Lance answered.
"Yes," Kitty said simultaneously. When he gave her a look she added, "This happens everywhere. Hell, you got hit on every time we went to the gyno for my prenatal checkups."
"She's exaggerating," Lance assured Palmer while he scraped up the whip cream with a spoon.
"The receptionist, the mothers, and even some of the closeted fathers," Kitty continued as she dumped her bacon on to the same plate as her waffle and handed Lance the now empty plate to drop the fluffy topping on, "all tripping over themselves just to talk to you."
"Oh, really?" Lance chomped on a piece of bacon before pointing it at her accusingly. "And what about the volunteer at the hospital that flirted with you? While you were in labor."
"He was doing his job," Kitty argued, pouring syrup over her waffle before handing it off to Lance.
"He was a clown for the pediatrics wing," Lance countered.
"Really?" Kitty wrinkled her brow in thought. "I don't remember that."
"Well you were kind of busy," Lance gestured to Palmer.
"Ew," Palmer put down the forkful of eggs he was just about to eat. "This is really not normal. I mean you guys argue a lot, but… ew."
"Sorry," Kitty apologized, trying to hold back a chuckle.
"Yeah," Lance added with a smirk. "We'll change the subject. Okay?"
"Okay," Palmer agreed. They ate in silence for a bit until Palmer once again spoke up, "So… you guys seemed to be having fun last night."
"Uh, yeah," Lance mumbled and bent his head, focusing on his food. "It was… something."
"What about you?" Kitty changed the subject quickly. "Did you get along with my mom okay?"
"Yeah," Palmer nodded enthusiastically. "Sandra's great. And Ben turned out to be pretty cool, too."
"My dad hung out with you two?" Kitty's eyebrows rose while Lance's head popped up.
"Yeah," Palmer shrugged. "He joined us after dinner."
"And…" Lance paused, careful with his wording, "you had a good time? With both of them?"
"It was a little awkward at first," Palmer admitted. "But Ben apologized for everything that he said. And the three of us talked and just… hung out."
"Wow," Kitty grinned. "That's so great. I'm relieved. I know how my parents can be."
"What did you guys talk about?" Lance asked cautiously.
"I dunno," Palmer shrugged. "A lot of things."
"Like what?" Lance pushed.
"Lance…" Kitty warned.
"They just told me stuff about themselves and their lives and I did the same," Palmer explained. "You know, like normal people do."
"That's all I'm trying to do," Lance argued. "Talk to you about how your night was."
"Why don't you tell me more about your night?" Palmer countered.
"Okay, boys," Kitty interjected. "Lance, if Palmer doesn't want to talk about it, he doesn't have to. I'm sure there are things you'd rather not talk about."
"Fine," Lance grumbled.
"Fine," Palmer agreed. They ate the rest of their meal in silence as the diner slowly became more crowded. The waitress only had time to drop off the check at their table and give Lance one last coy smile before hopping off to another table.
"Ooooh," Kitty snatched the check before taunting Lance with it. "She left you her number. And she dots her i's with hearts."
"And she drew a smiley face in the o in enjoy," Palmer added taking the check from Kitty.
"Laugh it up," Lance yanked the check from Palmer. "I'm going to go take care of this."
"I'm just going to stop in the bathroom," Kitty announced when they saw the line at the register. As they approached the front the waitress came over to the clerk and had a short conversation before she took over.
"Meet you at the car?" Lance offered Palmer the keys.
"Okay…" Palmer agreed warily and headed out to the parking lot.
"I hope you enjoyed your meal," the waitress greeted Lance as she took the ticket and rang him up.
"It was interesting," Lance answered as she tried to hand him the change. "Keep it as a tip. And here's another. I'm twice your age."
"I like older guys," she shrugged, trying to hand the check with her number on it back. Neither seemed to notice that Kitty was making her way towards them through the line of people at the register.
"Fine," Lance rolled his eyes, refusing the piece of paper. "But I came here to have a nice meal with my family…"
"Oh? Are they your siblings?" she asked as Kitty froze behind the older gentlemen just behind Lance.
"My son," Lance corrected. "And his mom."
"Really?" she seemed unconvinced. "Well I guess that's… okay."
"No," Lance sighed as Kitty made a face of disgust. "It's not. Look, just meet a nice guy your own age and leave ones like me alone."
"And what's a guy like you?" she asked as he turned to leave.
"Nothing good," he answered before heading for the car, Kitty following him with a frown.