A/N: I DO NOT own Harry Potter nor any of its characters. They all belong to the great J.K. Rowling.
Chapter 21-Depression
Her child was dead. Her first born child was dead. The idea that her child was dead had not processed through her mindyet and students could hear her desperate cries for her lost child whenever they went down into the dungeon. Severus wasn't the same anymore, either. Although he gained his cruelty back, he was not the same man. He was not responsive and anytime a student would look at him, he glared back, daring them to talk. He even questioned himself at times why he was so upset over a lost child. 'Because he was your child, you heartless bastard!' He thought cruelly. It was true. Hermione and Severus lost a boy. A boy that, once he was cleaned of all the blood, looked exactly like his mother except a patch of jet black hair on top his head.
Severus often wondered why the child died. Was it because he was early? Was it because of the complications? Why? The couple had sunk down into a depression. Hermione didn't attend classes any longer. Severus taught his classes, but he was cold and cruel. Hermione stayed locked up in their quarters crying all day and she refused to see Harry and Ron. Harry and Ron were two of the many people who heard Hermione's strangled cries that night in the infirmary. They immediately jumped out of their beds and ran down to the Hospital Wing in nothing but their pajamas, but, of course, Professor Dumbledore, who had been standing outside the Infirmary doors, would not let them in. They stood there in shock at the sound of Hermione's horrified screams and Severus' wracked sobs. After hours of sitting out front the Infirmary, Professors McGonagall and Snape came out of the Wing, both with saddened expressions, Severus even more so. Harry began to speak, but McGonagall shook her head.
"Now's not the time, Potter," McGonagall said as she put around Severus' shoulder and led him down to the dungeon. Pomfry came out a second later and both Harry and Ron went to her.
"May we see her?" Ron asked. Pomfry shook her head sadly.
"I'm afraid she's not in the mood to see anyone, Mr. Potter. He was stillborn," Pomfry said in a short tone.
A short knock came upon the door. Hermione had stopped crying an hour ago, and looked at the door without moving her head. She had no strength left to cry or to move any part of her body. The door opened and Severus appeared carrying a silver tray topped with food.
"Hermione, you have to eat," Severus said, placing the tray on the table in front of the green couch Hermione had been laying on. She was pale and thin, and it was hard to get her to eat. Hermione sighed and closed her eyes.
"Can't I just sleep?" Hermione asked. Severus closed his eyes.
"You can't just sleep and cry all day, Hermione. You have to eat and carry on with your life. He's dead. Get …"
"Get over it?" Hermione said, looking at him. Severus sighed.
"You have to get on with your life. You're graduating next month and you haven't enough credits to pass into the Wizarding World." Hermione's lip started to tremble.
"Don't you think I know?" Hermione said in a whisper. Severus laid a hand on her shoulder. She sat up quickly.
"DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW, SEVERUS?" Hermione screamed at him, suddenly furious that he would suggest a thing as getting on with her life. Severus looked furious himself.
"Of course you know, Hermione, you know everything! Especially when it comes to my feelings about his death!" Severus said as calmly as he could. He stood up and Hermione shot up, glaring daggers at him.
"No, I don't know your feelings about his death, Severus. Care to clarify? Because obviously I don't know! The day after, you go right on with your life as if his death meant nothing to you!" Hermione said. Severus tried to bite back a counteraction, but he couldn't.
"SO, YOU FIND IT FUNNY TO LABLE ME AS THE UNCARING PARENT? GO RIGHT ON WITH MY LIFE, INDEED, HERMIONE! MY LIFE DID NOT, AT ONE TIME, CONSIST OF DEPRESSION AND UNRESPONSIVE ACTIONS!" Severus yelled. Hermione stood up.
"YOU LIE! OF COURSE IT WAS DEPRESSING AND UNRESPONSIVE! YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE THE DESCENSY TO MOURN FOR YOUR SON!" Hermione screamed, in tears again. Severus pulled her into his embrace and didn't let go, even as she ranted and beat on his back.
"Listen to yourself! I have been, and always will, mourn for my son, Hermione. I just think that it would be easier to carry on with our lives and … ah!" Severus grasped the upper part of his left arm. Hermione stared at him, tears falling down her cheeks.
"No, please, Severus, please don't go to him!" Hermione said, shaking her head, clutching him in her grasp. Severus looked down at Hermione.
"I have to."
A/N: Sorry about the long-awaited update. I've been working a lot more than usual. Anyway, I know this chapter is short, but the next one is an entire conversation between … wait, no. I shouldn't tell you. You guys will just have to wait.