This is it Sheldon. You only have one chance to do this right. You have to do it right.
Those were the only thoughts going through his mind as he stood in Amy's lab, directly in front of her.
The ring he was holding had been is his family for a long time. As a kid he had seen it on the finger of his Meemaw, but never understood its significance.
He knew it meant the world to her, but he never figured out why. Until now.
After taking a step closer to Amy, who was now standing next to her desk, still holding on to the paper he had placed on her desk just after he had seen her leave the lab, he knew it was time.
"Amy Fa…" was all he could say before Amy rushed over to him, and placed a finger over his lips.
This stopped him from continuing on, and left him in a state of confusion.
"No" Amy said in a strangely soothing tone.
"N…no?" he stuttered in response.
"No" she said, giving him a little smile as she stepped closer to him, and taking hold of his hands.
"I don't want you to ask me, not now" Amy continued.
"But…it's important that you know where you belong in my life" Sheldon said, struggling to contain his emotions.
"When I left you standing there in the apartment yesterday morning, all I could think about was getting home to my mother, to be with my family."
"And when I talked to you on the phone from the hospital, I was torn apart inside, I could not handle all that was happening. And I've hurt you in the process" he continued, feeling the warmth coming from her hands, which calmed him down.
"I knew I wanted to make things right with you the moment I stepped on the plane, I had ruined the best night of my life, by pushing you away, when all you tried to do is be there for me."
"Sheldon, nothing could ruin that night for me, it was the best night of my life too" Amy interrupted him, to give him a moment to catch his breath.
"But what made you think proposing to me is going to solve the issues we have?" she had to ask, still not understanding where this was coming from.
"It only came to me this morning, when I found a letter from Missy hidden in my bag. She wrote about what family means to me, and how I left my entire life behind in coming to be with my Mom, and her."
"That's when I realized I don't want to live a single day without you anymore Amy, you are a part of my family now, and I wanted to make it official."
"Oh Sheldon…" Amy said, now starting to feel her emotions spinning out of control as well.
"That's the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me" she continued on, as a single tear came down her face.
"So can you at least forgive me, Amy?" Sheldon asked, as he moved his hand to wipe away the tear from her face, retreating at the last second.
"I understand that we are over, and I can understand that you want nothing more to do with me after how I treated you" he said.
"But I can't live with the fact knowing you are still hurting because of my actions."
"Sheldon, we are not over" Amy said, as she took him by the hands once again.
"I meant most of what I said when you called me, that you needed to find out where I belong in your life"
"But it was wrong of me to do that over the phone, but I was overcome with anger and frustration at that moment, it just came out" Amy continued, keeping her eyes locked on Sheldon.
"I should have waited until you've gotten home, and talk things out with you, as we are doing right now. For that I am sorry."
"Amy, don't say sorry. I don't deserve that" Sheldon said, as he felt a tear fall down his face too.
"You were right in calling me selfish, and that in doing so, I pushed you away from me."
"I wish I could undo everything that happened between us yesterday, but I can't" Sheldon continued.
"After all those years of not caring about finding that special someone, I finally found you. And now I have managed to ruin the best thing of my life, and hurt the only woman I truly love."
If anyone had walked in at that very moment, they couldn't have figured out who was more shocked by that confession.
As soon as Sheldon had spoken those words, Amy's hand immediately went up to her mouth, in a failed attempt to hide her surprise. She couldn't believe Sheldon, the man she had been dating for over 3 years now, had just said he loved her.
Penny was right about him, she had known it all along, and Sheldon did love her, Amy Farrah Fowler.
Love must really be a thin veil, clouding someone's mind, causing you to miss all those little details that are so obvious for others.
But sometimes that veil is lifted up, and all that remains is true, uncompromising love. Nothing hidden anymore, everything is right there in front of you.
That's what happened for Amy when Sheldon had spoken those words.
Amy was now starting to tremble lightly, as her mind was still adjusting to this whole new world, waiting for her to be explored. And then it finally hit her.
She wasn't going to be exploring this world alone. He would be there, right by her side.
Sheldon on the other hand, although being shocked by his own sudden outburst, wasn't trying to hide any of his emotions. He had done that for far too long he realized, and it was time to let it all out.
It had felt good to come clean to Amy about everything he had been feeling since Penny told him his mother had been taken to the hospital, telling her about Missy's letter and where he pictured Amy in his life.
She is family. She really is.
When he had found the ring in the envelope his sister had hidden in his bag, he knew what he wanted to do. However when Leonard had walked in and eventually had read the letter and seen what else Missy had send him, he realized he had to keep his intentions of proposing hidden from him.
This was something that was something only for Amy and himself to know, as much as he loves Leonard, he had to keep it from him, at least for a little while.
But none of that mattered anymore, Amy had said no. As he was thinking back to the start of this moment, he realized Amy had said something else, which he didn't pick up on at that time.
She hadn't just said no, she had said not to ask her now…which was shortly followed by her revealing that they weren't over.
This made him smile, not only in his mind, but it also broke the tough exterior of his face, which never really had been allowed to show these kinds of signs to anyone. Anyone but Amy, she really was his exception to every rule he had created for himself.
"Amy" Sheldon spoke, now looking straight into her eyes.
"When you said that we aren't over, what does that mean?"
"I'm not sure Sheldon, I don't think we can go back to where we were before all this happened. I think we just need to take things slow, and start moving carefully forward" she said, returning his attempts of eye contact.
"You can't imagine how happy I am to hear you say that" Sheldon replied, still showing the smile on his face.
"I meant what I said to you though Amy, I never want to be apart from you anymore, but I know we have to start things slow again" he continued on.
"Do we…tell the others about all of this?" Sheldon asked, now thinking about how they would explain it all to the rest of their friends.
"No, we don't Sheldon. It's really none of their business" Amy replied, now too smiling widely.
"This is one thing that hasn't changed, what happens between us, stays between us."
"Thank you Amy" Sheldon said, now taking her hand, and slowly caressing it.
"I wouldn't have known how to deal with all of this coming out, being public knowledge in our little group of friends"
"You haven't told Leonard about it, right?" Amy asked in return, realizing that might be the weak link in this plan.
"Because if he knows, than Penny will know…"
"He does know I have the ring, but he doesn't know about my plan to propose, I left him thinking I didn't know what I was going to do" Sheldon said calmly.
"So, maybe I should keep the ring, so that he doesn't start asking questions about its whereabouts. Because as you said, he will tell Penny about me having a ring, and she will no doubt want to see it" he replied logically.
"Agreed" Amy said, giving him a little nod.
"But you better hang on to it, you might need it again" she continued, giving an obvious wink.
"You mean…"
"I mean…" Amy replied teasing.
"Not anytime soon, but yes, someday."
"Those are the most beautiful words I ever heard, you truly are an amazing woman Amy" Sheldon said.
"I guess we both know what to say, when it really needs to be said" Amy said.
"Shall we get out of here, or do you want to stay for a while longer?" Sheldon asked, enjoying the view of Amy, who looked amazing in the glow of the candles.
"Sheldon?"
"Yes Amy?" he replied, unsure about her expression, which was now abundantly clear on her face.
"Stop talking, and just kiss me!"