A/N Haha, your reviews made me smile, and they light up my life like nobody else the way that you smile like that leaves me overwhelmed . . . whoops sorry just got carried away.
Dear "Guest" – firstly, thankyou for your reviews, and secondly, here are the answers to your hundreds of questions:
1. Loki's child can be called . . . Flutterbottom. Sorry, just an inside joke I have going on with AAderpette.
2. How did he get pregnant? Well, when two people love each other, strong urges occur and . . . he is a shapeshitfing, gender-changing God, it was bound to happen :P Unless that was a typo and you meant to put "who got him pregnant" in which case . . . Nick. Fury. (Nick Fury: Aw hell no)
3. No, sorry, there isn't enough Bucky to go around. Come back when we have more in stock – haha, kidding, I'll take your idea on board. Except for Darcy – unless she gets severely injured and/or dies. But that's mean so maybe I should stay away from writing Darcy.
So I'm going with NinjaCookieXD's idea, of a kinky-sounding Science Bros chapter because I think someone else mentioned that there should be more Bruce. I'm sorry, I usually pick favourites aka Tony and Steve, but I will try to include the others more often from now.
Dear AAderpette, I do like hugs, just not from random guys named "Adam" who we meet at an ice skating rink. A high five will always suffice.
So, the pairings are: Science Bros, Thorki and Agent Hawk (I'm pretty sure I just made that ship name up).
And thanks to Great Mystery, for giving me a leg up over the big wall that is writer's block.
Chapter Twenty-One
Tony: Soooo I've got this issue, can I talk to you about it?
Clint: . . . does it involve blowing things up, breaking things, or doing things that will result in Fury having a coronary?
Tony: Um, yes to the second one.
Clint: . . .
Tony: Well, nothing's been broken yet but the way things are going, it might happen.
Clint: Eh, just spill it.
Tony: Ok, so Bruce and I have started sleeping together.
Clint: And that's an issue because . . .?
Tony: "Started" as in Bruce nearly Hulked out and THAT would have hurt, lemme tell you, so we stopped and he calmed down but now we have a problem.
Clint: . . . I'm still failing to see what the problem is exactly . . .
Tony: I'm going to be blunt with you.
Tony: Bruce and I can't have sex. Because when we try to, his heart races and he starts Hulking out. It's some natural survival instinct thing but I'm trying to figure out how to stop it from happening.
Clint: Well have you asked Bruce? He is the expert on this, after all.
Tony: Yeah . . . that is a good point. Slightly unrelated – I wonder if shower sex is the answer . . .
Clint: Talk to Bruce about it not me!
Tony: Oh please you love it ;)
Clint: Um no I do not appreciate you talking dirty to me.
Clint: Phil on the other hand . . .
Tony: Yeahhhh goodbye
Clint: Yep, bye, have fun, going now to . . . do things . . . with . . . someone.
Tony: Me too . . .
Tony: As in talk. With Bruce.
Clint: Exactly what I meant.
Clint: As in "talk". With Phil.
Tony: . . .
Clint: . . .
Thor: Before you leave to copulate with your lovers, I have a question.
Tony: Please, I can try to copulate with Bruce but it's not going to end well, as I was telling Clint, but moving on.
Thor: I have a question that I moustache you.
Clint: . . .
Tony: Moustache? Is that a typo?
Thor: Although, I have to mullet over.
Clint: No, I think Thor has developed a liking of lame jokes.
Thor: So I shall shave it for later.
Thor: Hahaha :D
Thor: Behold, for I am amused!
Clint: Yeahhh going now.
Thor: But truthfully, I do have a question of great importance!
Tony: I'm still here, you can ask me.
Thor: Loki wanders off every now and again and he does not reveal where he goes each day. I am curious as to what he gets up to, but as he does not share anything with me I thought perhaps you'd know where he goes?
Tony: No idea. Honestly, I don't even notice when he comes and goes.
Tony: His phone has a tracker in it though. I can get Jarvis to tell you his whereabouts.
Thor: No, but thankyou. I shall do this my way and investigate by following my brother. He is getting ready to leave, I shall talk to you later.
Tony: Alright, um, good luck.
Thor: Hello, brother, what are your plans for today?
Loki: None of your business. How are things back at the tower?
Thor: Most excellent for I am currently eating Pop Tarts.
Loki: . . . you cannot lie to the Liesmith, Thor. I think we both know what you are really doing.
Thor: Ok, I must admit I am on the toilet!
Loki: Wrong again.
Loki: Are you not trailing me at this precise moment?
Thor: Whatever do you mean?
Loki: . . .
Loki: Why are you following me, brother?
Thor: I am not
Loki: Yes, so if I were to turn around I would not bump into the tall, blonde man who is wearing a . . . sombrero? Really, Thor?
Thor: Nooooo
Thor: But if it were I, I might be wearing a sombrero as a disguise, but this is not the case as I am at the tower.
Loki: I'm looking at you right now.
Thor: It isn't me.
Loki: *teleports*
Thor: Where did you go? Lokkiii
Thor: Loki?
Thor: Loki please
Loki: I didn't go anywhere
Thor: Yes you did! I saw you!
Loki: Thus proving that you are stalking me.
Thor: I am not stalking you.
Loki: O relly? And why are you wearing such a ridiculous Midgardian head garment?
Thor: I must confess . . . 'tis my disguise.
Loki: So you also admit to following me?
Thor: . . . yes.
Loki: Why?
Thor: Because you are being secretive and I'd like to know where you are going.
Loki: Like I have told you before, it really is none of your concern.
Loki: But to satisfy your curiosity, for that will surely convince you to stop follow me, I am meeting someone.
Thor: . . . Who?
Loki: A friend.
Thor: What friend?
Loki: My friend.
Thor: But you have none.
Loki: . . .
Loki: I am meeting a friend of mine that you do not know about because my life does not revolve around you and you are not entitled to know about every single aspect of my social life.
Thor: I understand.
Loki: So will you go home?
Thor: Aha! The tables have turned!
Loki: . . .?
Thor: No longer am I begging you to come home, instead you are begging me to go home!
Loki: . . . *teleports*
Thor: . . .
Loki: *teleports*
Thor: Brother! Why did you just steal from me my disguise?
Loki: To burn it, for it is hideous
Thor: :(
Loki: I kid, brother, I have actually deposited your . . . hat, in your room back at the tower.
Loki: I will be late if you do not go home.
Thor: Just tell me . . . is it someone I know? That the Avengers know? Of what species is your friend?
Loki: . . . my answer to all of the above is 5.
Thor: Lokkiii
Loki: You are insufferable.
Loki: And holding me up. So I must bid you goodbye. Do not follow me further or there will be consequences.
Thor: What kind of consequences? Like a punishment?
Loki: I suppose
Thor: The good kind?
Loki: No, not the good kind
Loki: Consequences that include a certain tower disappearing
Thor: You're going to destroy the tower?
Loki: Unless you promise not to follow me
Thor: I promise, just do not destroy the tower
Thor: The others won't be too happy with me
Thor: And it is where I keep my Pop-Tarts . . .
Loki: Good day, Thor *rolls eyes*
Thor: Fine, brother, I shall go home now.
Thor: My investigation failed.
Tony: Disguise didn't work, I'm guessing?
Thor: Indeed not
Thor: Please, friend Stark, do what you suggested before – track his phone.
Loki: Insufferable.
Thor: Loki!
Loki: When I made you promise to stop following me, that meant in all forms.
Tony: Lover's quarrel . . . I'll leave now.
Tony: Bruce and I have worked . . . our issue out. Well, we have a theory. So I'm going to go help him test out . . . that theory . . .
Tony: *leaves*
Thor: Brother, believe me when I say that I am truly sorry for aggravating you.
Loki: Fine, it doesn't matter if you track my phone or not. I am very good at not letting people find or catch me.
Phil: Has anyone seen Nick Fury?
Loki: . . . why are you asking us?
Phil: Because I've asked everyone else.
Clint: Including the people at S.H.I.E.L.D, but we can't find him, it's like he's disappeared.
Phil: Or is up to something top secret.
Phil: But I need to speak with him. It's urgent.
Clint: Is it really that urgent? Come back to bed Phil. Take some time off work. Relax.
Phil: Tempting, but Nick Fury has never just vanished like this before.
Loki: *sigh* I must confess
Loki: I am on my way to meet a friend, and that friend is your director.
Loki: Now can everybody stop pestering me so Nick and I can start having sexual relations?
Phil: . . .
Clint: . . .
Thor: . . .
Loki: That's what I thought. I will see you all tomorrow, perhaps.
Thor: . . .
Phil: I will never be able to look at Fury in the same way again.
Thor: . . .
Clint: Well, that was a complete turn-off.
Thor: . . .
Phil: Pity, I was about to say that given the circumstance, I'm sure Fury will barely notice if I have a few hours off work.
Thor: . . .
Clint: Only a few hours?
Thor: . . .
Phil: I'll be at the tower in ten. Don't go anywhere, ok? Be a good boy for daddy.
Thor: . . .
Phil: Until I get there, that is.
Thor: . . .
Clint: Well, that was a complete turn-on
Thor: . . .
Tony: WOW
Thor: . . .
Tony: Our theory didn't exactly work, Bruce still Hulked out, but that was ok.
Thor: . . .
Tony: It was BETTER than ok! It was freaking amazing!
Thor: . . .
Tony: My. Lord.
Thor: . . .
Bruce: Tony, as flattered as I am, I'm sure that Thor does not need to hear about our sex life.
Thor: . . .
Bruce: Thor . . . are you ok?
Thor: . . . I understand . . . what you mortals mean by "visuals" . . .
Tony: Totally hot visuals, right?
Thor: . . . visuals of you and Hulk only disturbed me further . . . for I originally imagined my brother and director Fury . . .
Thor: . . . and then Clint and Phil
Thor: . . . and now I feel . . . violated . . .
Bruce: Crap, please don't tell me we've traumatised Thor!
Tony: Sounds like someone is in need of IKT
Thor: . . . what is this, IKT?
Tony: Intense Kitten Therapy.
Thor: And how does one receive intense kitten therapy?
Tony: Hold on, I'll send you some pics.
Tony: [PXT]
Tony: [PXT]
Tony: [PXT]
Tony: [PXT]
Tony: [PXT]
Thor: . . . nawwwww these kittens are delightful!
Thor: Oooohh look that one is frolicking in the flowers!
Thor: How adorable these creatures are! That one is merely sitting in a cup larger than itself!
Tony: My work here is done.
Bruce: But seriously, "intense kitten therapy"? I love you Tony.
Tony: Aw, love you too Brucey ;)
Thor: I MUST HAVE THESE KITTENS
Thor: GET ME SOME KITTENS
Tony: Um, intense kitten therapy overload.
Thor: KITTENS!
A/N Review = Thor gets kittens.
Don't review = Thor watches kittens being thrown out the window.