Here is another one. I am on a roll...Enjoy. Enjoy.
I dont own HP. but i do own an imagination.
"Meet me behind the tapestry,"
He whispered the words so softly, that Ella wasn't sure she'd heard them right. The entire walk to the hidden spot, Ella had replayed those five words in her head over and over again. In truth, she wasn't sure why she was following him. She knew she shouldn't, that doing so would only encourage his latest determination. But a part of Ella, a small nearly-snuffed, spark still lit when he was around her.
Of course, she had no intentions to act on the feeling. In fact, since their reunion, Ella had actively been pushing him away. First, in the entry of the Order Initiation, then through letters in which she'd reply one or two words to his page long pleas. Someone who wasn't so numb may feel badly about rejecting him so harshly. But Ella didn't feel anything.
Anything, that is, except that spark. It had occurred the first time he'd touched her and a few others since. However, the feeling was altogether too small to change her behavior or offer compassion to someone who was mourning the loss of who she used to be.
Besides, Sirius didn't love her. He loved the ghost of who she was. The only people who truly cared for the new her were Giddeon and Molly. Arthur too, had become a companion but he hadn't been the ones holding her while she had an attack or brushing away the tears after her brothers attempted a floo conversation.
Giddeon and Molly knew every darkness that she held. They knew of the torture Voldemort had exhibited, of the people she'd watched die; the people she'd taken part in killing. The two even knew about her power. Since being taken, Ella would from time to time slip into the habbit of lashing out at anyone near by. It usually occurred while she was in a state of panic. A healer called it post traumatic something. Ella just called it damage.
She was so entirely damaged she didn't even know where it began and ended. She didn't even know herself. Ella laughed when she was with Giddeon, and he made her feel lighter, but the darkness had resurrected the moment he'd left her on that platform. He had kissed the top of her head, told her to keep them at bay and had left her.
Just like her mum and dad would do.
Their faces, bloodied and wide-eyed flashed momentarily. The thought deadened her further. Her insides felt like lead, weighing her down. A flash occurred and she pictured her hand on the knife that opened their bodies. She felt sicker as she fingered the tapestry.
Shaking away the horror, she pulled it aside to reveal Sirius., standing in the empty space. He looked older and far worse than she remembered. Stuble grew along his jaw, and large bags under his eyes. His skin looked sallow and blotchy. Ella supposed they looked alike.
He smiled at her, "I knew you'd come."
"What do you want." The words were meant to deter him, but he wasn't easily discouraged. Sirius moved closer to her, crowding her in the already small space.
"I told you," he admonished, "I want you."
Some distant memory of being in this same room surface pushed itself into her mind. He had touched her so feverently then. Ella remembered her old self feeling alive, feeling like she couldn't get enough of him. She didn't feel anything further from it now.
"Who you want is dead."
A strange look crossed his eyes, he moved closer, this time taking her face between his hands. The spark within Ella made her stomach flutter. His skin was warm and rough against her cheek.
"No, I want you. Whoever, you are. I want this you."
Ella was sure he wouldn't want that. The girl she was now was so far from who'd she'd been Sirius would never be able to deal. He would instead keep waiting for her to change back into the quick-witted girl who'd punched him that day.
"You're only chasing a ghost."
He dropped her face sharply, "I am bloody not! I know you're not the same. I don't care!"
"You will though," she said searching his face, "you'll care when you hear the things I've done, the people I've hurt."
She saw how the statement hurt him. Ella was just too numb to care. He wouldn't give up until she said the words, she could see that plainly.
"I don't love you, Sirius."
Hard grey eyes narrowed. "Who do you love, then?"
"No one. I'm not capable of it." It was true. She was no more capable of it than she was of turning back into the old Ella. Moreover, she didn't want love. Love was pain, love was what he had used to tear her open inside.
"That's bollicks. I see the way you look at Giddeon."
Ella supposed her affection for Giddeon could be construed as such. In truth, she didn't think of Giddeon in such a way. Giddeon was just there, he was what helped her breathe, like air. Trying to explain this would only be futile, so instead, she shrugged.
Sirius looked at her "Why him?" he demanded.
Ella was sure Sirius wouldn't understand what Giddeon was to her, that Giddeon was more of an extension of herself rather than a love interest. She tried anyway. "He's light," She said. "He makes me lighter."
Sirius' face fell, Ella should have stopped. She would have if a sudden desperation to make Sirius understand did not overtake her. He had to give up this hope that she would return. There was truly no going back.
"You're dark Sirius,"she continued, ignoring his flinch, "together, we'd only drown eachother."
Ella thought she had said it. She thought that was exactly what Sirius needed to hear to make him give up. The small fluttering in her stomach made her feel sick. A small, stupid part didn't want him to give up on her.
Sirius surprised her by taking her face in his hands once again.
He took her face again, more gently this time, all the while, searching her eyes. "Listen to me," he commanded, "I'm not light, but I love you, I love you more than I can even explain. And I don't care about my family or Voldemort or sodding Giddeon-"
"-You are in love with a girl who is dead."
He rubbed her cheek, working a shiver down her spine.
"Do you feel that?" he implored.
Ella refused to answer.
"Then, you're not dead. I don't care who you are or how dark. I'm not afraid. Just be with me."
The frustration that had been slowly burning beneath the surface reared quickly. Ella was instantly furious with Sirius, furious that he didn't believe her, furious that he still got to her, furious that he made her want things, things that she didn't deserve. Her mind grew unsteady, like the sea before a storm. The latent power brewed.
With all her strength, she pushed against him. "This is ridiculous, Sirius, I don't care about you!"
He rubbed the spot she'd shoved and nodded absently. "Fine," he agreed. "but we both know you do."
He anchored himself to the stone wall, arms crossed and with the gesture, her frustration consumed her. The power inside her grew like a swell and before she could control it lashed out into his mind.
The power dug through slimy levels, overturning images and digging through dark crevices. Numerous scenes played, like images on a projector. The first was an image of the girl who used to be Ella, flying on the Quidditch pitch. The memory was filmy and lacked detail but the admiration and attraction she felt toward the girl were clearly Sirius'.
The next images were dark and hazy, as if parts of the film had merged, overlapped. Holes were seen throughout these memories, as if something alien had eaten at it throughout first flash was of Sirius punching a wall, opening the skin above his knuckles. In a morbid fascination, he watched the blood drip from the wound. The image folded in on itself as another Sirius took form. This memory was also hazy, made so by the nearly empty bottle in his hand. Tears streamed down his face as pictures of her adorned the floor like a shrine. The image blurred and burned and next she saw him standing in front of the same blazing fire, tossing the last of many photos into the flames. It took only a moment for Sirius, so distraught by what he'd done, to fling his hand into the flame, attempting to salvage any of the photos. Before the memory hazed completely out, James had run into the room, hearing Sirius' cries. He cooed "we'll find her," before Sirius passed out from the pain.
After, the night sky hung above, as the crisp memory resurrected itself. Despite, the firewhiskey that hung limply from Sirius' hand, it was less filmy and hazy than the others. He was standing on the ledge of the Potter manor and from the dark twinge of his thoughts, Ella could tell he was contemplating pitching himself off the side. Absently, he swiged from the bottle, nearly stumbling over the edge of the roof.
Despite that Ella was watching a memory, she found herself calling out, reaching with both her mind and arms for him to step away from the ledge. Ella was then hit with a sensation so strong, she could barley believe it herself. Absolute sheer terror took root as she watched Sirius contemplate his suicide. Watching him peer over the ledge, seemed to take forever. Ella had been so distraught with the vision, she failed to realize the image around her had burned away. A slimey memory that tasted of anguish had started. With discomfort, Ella watched as Sirius flew into the door the night of the initiation. She watched as all of his hoped crumbled when she pushed him away. As he began to accuse her of fear, her mind grew fuzzy and her legs heavy.
However, Ella's terror and discomfort proved no match for what she saw next. Just before Ella passes out, one last scene flits through her mind. It is of Sirius playing with a black haired girl. The girl has Sirius' black hair and brilliant green eyes, identical to her own, black spots take root before the little girl calls out, Daddy! and Ella lost consciousness.
So this chapter was easier to write. I thought it was pretty interesting to see these scenes. If my boyfriend-bestfriend died, I would probably be just as distraught. What did you think?