WOOHOO IM AT 200 REVIEWS! You all are amazing! Thank you so much for all the support! This is the last "filler chapter." Chapters 22 and 23 will be crossovers with Daren Kagasoff's (Ricky's) show Red Band Society. It will feature all the characters from the show as well as re-write some character fates. I can't wait for you all to read it! Please let me know what you thought of this chapter, and what you think is going to happen! 2 chapters remain. Chapter 24 is the epilogue :D Enjoy!

Have you ever started drifting off to sleep only to jolt awake suddenly with the sensation that you're falling? I get this all the time, only tonight the sensation isn't quick; its endless. My body feels as if it's crashing through space and air for so long, that my heart rate quickens to an unnatural speed and I break out into a cold sweat that dampens my hair. No matter how much I resist it, I can't stop. I fall for what seems like forever but this isn't what wakes me. Instead, it's an ear-piercing sharp ring that beckons throughout the condo that forces me straight up from my mattress into a heaving, sweating, disoriented disaster.

At first, I can't place the sound. For one, I'm sitting in pitch blackness. Normally I leave the hall light on for the kids incase they want to crawl into my bed in the middle of the night, but that light is out; so all that illuminates the stairs is the glow from the moon that seeps in through the condo's tall sky light. I turn to the digital clock on my night stand, but that's off as well. It dawns on me that the power must be out, so I reach for my phone. A picture of Ricky and I making funny faces appears as my display, brightening the room in a dull blue lambency. It's 11:03 pm.

"Mommy!" John screams in terror over the noise, which now I can name as the smoke alarm that impales our heads every time the power goes out.

"Coming honey!" I yell back loudly so he'll hear me. I grab my phone and flip on its flashlight, then grab the robe at the end of my bed and throw my feet into my slippers. Then I'm racing down the stairs with a sleepy head, desperately trying not to fall. As I land on the main level, I feel it. Shaking. The floor dances beneath me, the walls twitch, the furniture vibrates.

Both Maddie and John issue blood curdling screams.

"Mommy's coming!" I cry, sprinting to their rooms. I run into Maddie's first and pick her from her railing guarded bed. She sobs into my arms and clings to my neck tightly as I make haste for John's room.

"Come here baby," I whisper, finding my way in the dark. John catapults into my arms, and I balance both kids against my chest as we leave the room.

"Whats happening mommy?" John says through tears. I turn into the kitchen in search of a flashlight. The shaking returns. I open a drawer and grip the large light. Both kids cry out again.

"We're having an earthquake John. We're going to go sit in the bathtub okay."

I carefully, yet eagerly take us into the bathroom, where I flip on the actual flashlight in an effort to save my phone battery. I put the kids inside it first, then close the door that leads to the rest of the condo. Next I climb into the tub too, and sit against the wall opposite to the tap and shower-head and pull the kids into my lap. They both nuzzle into my chest and cry as the quaking continues. I rub my hand up and down their spines and try to soothe them into at least a quiet quiver. We sing theme songs, like the one from Austin & Ally and Good Luck Charlie. It seems to calm them quite a bit.

Soon the periodic tremors stop, followed by aftershocks that make themselves known a few times. It's not until about 2 am that the shaking stops all together. At which point, I'm exhausted, as are the kids. Maddie is asleep against my chest but John lies on my legs, blinking slowly with watery tired eyes.

"You can sleep honey. It's over now," I whisper, fighting a yawn.

"I don't want to. My brain is keeping me awake."

"Yeah me too," I reply, and stroke his hair.

"Do you think daddy is okay?"

I freeze. To be honest, he hadn't even crossed my mind. I was so focused on making sure the kids we're okay, that I didn't even think about Ricky. I hope he's alright.

"Yes honey. He's fine. The doctors will make sure that the earthquake can't hurt the patients. Don't worry. We will visit him as soon as we can, just to make sure. Okay?"

"Okay. Why was the earth shaking mommy?"

"The earth is made of hard ground and because we live where it is warm all the time, the earth moves sometimes, and when it does that, everything on it shakes. It can make things fall and crush stuff, so that's why we're in the bathtub. Just to be safe. I don't think this was too bad though. I think everything will be okay for the most part. Do you understand?"

I can see John nod against the light from the flashlight. "Is it going to happen again?"

"Probably not anytime soon. It can though. I know it's scary, but you don't need to be worried. Nothing is going to happen to you or me or anyone else."

"I believe you, but you say that a lot. And sometimes you're wrong. You said daddy might wake up and he hasn't…"

"John I tell you things will be okay because you're only five. You need to hear that things will be alright."

John sits up and stares at me. I can see the determination and hurt in his eyes, even if they're only lit by a dim light. "No. Im a big kid now. My daddy got hurt last year. I had to become strong. I need you to tell me the truth about stuff. Not think I'm still a baby."

"John…"

"Im not scared about the shaking anymore. Can I go sleep in my bed?" I nod my head. John climbs out of the tub and walks out of the bathroom. He stops first at the door. "I love you mommy. But I'm not a baby anymore. Goodnight."

"Goodnight sweetie," I whisper after him, wiping away tears long after he's left me alone to face the silence of the night.

I wake up again on the couch around 6 am. Daylight is now seeping through the windows, but it's quieter outside than usual. All night long there were sirens blaring past our sub-division, and the occasional one still drives by. I turn on the tv once our power returns at around seven, and watch from the kitchen with a cup of coffee as newscasters recall the events of the previous night.

There were two deaths in total and 40 people reported injured. Several car accidents, cracked roads, collapsed cottages and fallen trees. One school was flooded, but luckily not near here. Normal work and schools schedules are expected for tomorrow as today is a Sunday.

Expecting the kids to sleep in until at least eight or nine, I take advantage of the silence and my freedom and call the hospital while some eggs cook on the stove. They too had power failure but Ricky isn't dependent on anything electronic anyways, so he was fine. A few patients had to be moved, but the hospital has a backup generator that turned on immediately. I ask when we can come visit Ricky, and the attending on the phone says tomorrow. I thank her and hang up as there's a rapping on the front door.

"Amy! It's me! Jack!"

I race to the door, having dejà vu. Must he always come knocking when the kids are asleep?

"Coming! The kids are sleeping! Stop!" I open the door. Jack stands on the porch, with three day old scruff, messy hair that's started growing out and sleep still in his eyes.

"What are you doing here?" I say probably more sharply than I should. We technically aren't broken up. We're on break, and haven't spoken in nearly two weeks. Maybe that's why he's here. He wants answers.

"Making sure you guys are okay! We just had a fucking earthquake Amy! You're lucky I waited this long to come check on you! I had half a right mind to drive over at midnight!"

I leave the door open and storm into the living room. He follows, shutting the door behind him.

"Wake them up and I'll kill you," I whisper, sitting down on the couch. Jack sits next to me, but makes sure to keep some distance between us.

"Are you guys alright?"

"We're fine. They were shaken up, but who wouldn't be. We sat in the tub for a few hours, then went back to bed. You didn't have to come."

"Yes I did. I care about you. I love you! Even despite what happened…" Jack says.

"I said Ricky's name during sex, Jack. And then you didn't speak to me, so I stopped trying to get you to talk to me. And now you've been calling me for over a week and I haven't been picking up. I saw you parked outside the nursery the other day. I was hoping you'd get the hint that I don't want to talk to you."

"Because you feel bad about what happened? Oh baby, I was stupid okay! I was angry and hurt, and I shouldn't have reacted like I did. I'm sorry! Can't you forgive me?"

"Jack it isn't about how you reacted! I don't really care to be honest. I'm over it. I was hoping you'd be too."

"I am! I'm over it! I can prove it!" He reaches into the back pocket of his sweat pants and pulls out some papers and a small box. He sets them on the coffee table. "I went to city hall a couple days ago and got these papers. Amy, I want us to be a family. I want you to make me a legal guardian. So that I can make important decisions for the kids if you're ever not around. I went and got the forms and I even got a marriage license. That's what this is for." He reaches for the box and opens it, revealing a small diamond ring. "Marry me!"

I fly up from the couch with my hands to my head. "Jack!"

He copies me and stands up himself. "I know it's sudden and quite possibly rash and ill-planned but I don't even care! All I know is that I love you, and your kids, but I also know that you love me Ames! Right? You, you love me right?"

With tears silently rolling down my cheeks, I reach for his hands and close the small box. The ring disappears from view. "I got a call last week."

I sit down slowly. Jack, again, follows. He stares at me bewildered, scared and devastated. Tears cloud his vision. "It was a music school in Canada. They're offering me a full scholarship if I come play for them. Ricky apparently sent in an application a while ago."

"So is that why you don't want to marry me? Because of some stupid music school?"

I shake my head. "I don't even know if I'm taking the offer. But I'm denying yours because I'm finally ready to admit what I've been scared to accept for the past couple months. I don't love you anymore Jack."

"What!" Jack gasps, before starting to cry. "What are you talking about. Wh-when did you start feeling this way?"

"Christmas," I mumble shyly. "I went to visit Ricky and I had this incredibly real dream about our life together in the future, and I realized that I still love him. I never stopped. I just couldn't bear to be alone, and you were everything I wanted, so I convinced myself that I didn't care about him anymore. And for a while it worked."

"Did you ever love me?" he sniffles. His hands are to his head and his elbows sit on his knees. He looks coldly at the ground, rocking back and forth slightly.

"Of course I did. I never said it without meaning it. Never!"

"You know he's probably never going to wake up right? That stupid dream will most likely never come true."

I close my eyes at his harsh words. Tears slip out from my lashes. "I know. And I don't care. I'm not looking to be with him. But I do still love him and I'm always going to. Right now I can't be with you or anyone else! My heart won't allow it. I need time to find myself, and time to move on from him. Please don't be mad."

"Too late for that. I could hate you for this," Jack grumbles, narrowing his wet eyes at me.

I choke on my tears.

"But…" he says a few quiet seconds later, "I don't. I love you, and this, fucking sucks, but I get it. And if you don't love me, I have to be a man and respect that. But I really wish this wasn't happening."

"I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry."

"I know you are." Jack stands. "For the record, I would have married you and loved the crap out of you and those kids. I'm really going to miss them."

"They'll miss you too. But you should go before they wake up. I'l tell them you say bye."

"Can I at least have one more hug?"

"Of course," I say, hurrying to hug him. We embrace for a long while. "Thank you for everything Jack. You made this nightmare of a year into something bearable and I can never repay you for it."

"Yes you can. And I think you know how."

I pull back and squint at him. "How?"

"Take that scholarship. Ricky would want you to take it and so do I. He'd want you to live your life. You owe him that. Take the scholarship."

"Wait! I know this place mommy!" John pipes as he jumps out of the van, landing on the sidewalk outside of a shop with a red awning. On the window, there is a watermark that reads Boykewich Butchers. Displays of meat and bread sit in the large casing.

I come around the side of the vehicle with Maddie holding my hand and meet John on the walkway. "Yes, you do know this place. Can you remember what it is or no?"

"Bird mommy!" Maddie shouts, pointing to the sky in her little pink hoodie.

"Yes baby, a bird. The fourth one today! Wow!"

John giggles, then resumes his concentration. "I remember daddy being here, in white. That's it."

"You're right. Do you remember our old home? The place we lived before the condo?"

"When I shared a room with Maddie and she cried all the time?"

"Yep. Well that place is right above this shop. Come inside, I'm going to show you it."

"Cool!" John exclaims as I push open the door leading into the butcher shop. Stepping inside brings back a flood of memories. I remember bringing Maddie home for the first time. I remember walking John up the steps that lead upstairs on the night of the first date Ricky and I had. I remember leaving this place on the day we moved to the condo, and how excited I was to be starting a new life as a family. Some days I wish we'd just stayed here. I wonder if our life would have turned out differently if we had.

John circles the butcher shop floor once, dodging the two customers who stand near the meat display, having their orders completed.

"Up!" Maddie says, reaching up to me. I groan and hoist her up to sit on my waist as an older woman exits the back room.

"Hi Amy!" she says with a wide grin.

"Hi Bunny! So good to see you! How are you!" I exclaim as we hug.

"I've been good. Business is good. Still not the same without you guys. Even if it has been almost two years. How's he doing? I stop by every now and then."

"He's okay. No improvements, but no setbacks either, so we're keeping hope."

"Well he's lucky to have you. That's all I know. And who is this?" Bunny smiles at Maddie and waves. Maddie buries her face in my long hair.

"Don't be like that sweetie, say hi!"

"Hi!" John says, walking over to where we stand. "I'm John."

"I know you are," Bunny says back to him. "Boy you've gotten big. Do you remember me?"

John shakes his head. "No sorry."

"Well I'm Bunny. I used to take care of you sometimes while your dad worked. I have a picture of you two somewhere. Do you want to see it?" John nods eagerly. Bunny smiles. "I'll be right back."

She returns a few seconds later with a large frame in her hands. Flipping it over, she reveals a picture of an eighteen year old Ricky with John as a toddler sitting in his arms. Both of them wear chefs hats and are looking at each other smiling.

"Cool! Look mommy! This is awesome!" John cries, gleaming at the photo.

"Would you like to keep it John?" Bunny asks. I look at her disapprovingly, not wanting her to have to share the keepsake if she doesn't want to part with it. She waves off my glare. "Amy the kid needs it more than I do. I'll leave it at the bottom of the stairs and you can pick it up on your way out."

"Thank you Bunny. For everything. We'll come visit, promise."

"I know you will."

"Visit?" John asks from behind me as I walk Maddie up the narrow steps leading to the hallway outside the apartment.

"Just come inside John, theres something I want to tell you."

The kids watch as I unlock the door to the apartment, then walk inside nervously once it's opened. Maddie loses interest almost immediately, but John takes time exploring, shouting out to me as he remembers certain things.

"That was my room? Woah!"

"Well first it was daddy's room. Then we moved in and it became our room, but you wouldn't sleep in the living room and daddy was tired of watching you from the couch. So we moved you in here and we slept on a bed in the living room. And when Maddie was born, this place got really really small so we had to leave."

"I like this place."

"I do too." We sit on the plastic wrapped couch as Maddie walks around looking for mischief.

"Why are we here?"

"Okay well," I start, preparing myself for what I say next. "I got a call from a special music school. They want me to come play for them. But, the school is in Canada. That's another country. Which means we'd have to move."

"Did you say yes?"

"Not yet, but they need an answer soon and I want to say yes. I know it isn't fair to move you away from your friends and grandparents, but I really need this fresh start John. Do you understand?"

"Is Jack coming with us? Is daddy coming?"

"No honey. Jack and I, we broke up. We won't see each other anymore. He told me to tell you that he will miss you."

"Oh." John looks a little disheartened, but not completely devastated. "and daddy?"

"John daddy isn't getting better. I think we need to decide to move on, and stop seeing him all the time, and stop thinking about him and stop pretending that he is going to wake up. I don't think daddy would want us sad about what happened. What do you think?"

"I think so too. He would want us to be happy. He loved you mommy. I remember that."

"And he loves you John. He always will."

"Where is daddy going to stay?"

"The hospital wants him to move to a better place. There's a place out of town where people like daddy go and live. I was hoping we could go visit it soon and if we like it, then he will go there, and we will start our new lives together in Canada. How does that sound?"

"Good. That sounds good."