WARNIN THIS CHAPT an the next one DEELS WITH SERIOS ISSUES THAT NEEED TO BE ADDURSED BOUT SEX TRAFFIKIN AN BRONYS IS THERE A CONNECTION I THINK MAYBE BECOS I SEED LOTS OF GROSE STUF AT THEM ON THE TOPPLE ROBOT SITE. (Oh dear God.)
HARRY POTTER AN THE KILL OF SNAPE
CHAPTER FLIVE: THE FIRST INCONTER
takaed the strange not an read it to say "If u lick what u see com to the behine the school for sum pony fun! ;P" it was verry strange. (So are you, you disgrace to humanity.) So I pot in in my pucket for later. Next I went back to Jenny in the cafeter. I hope shes okay sins I codant find an7y British food for her ungrated tummy.
"Jenny are u okay?" I said into the cafeteria were Jenny was eatin some crumpets. "Huh howd it."
"Ohh hey Harry uh Wheatly my noo frend Solder found some brit food for me. That helmut guy from befor was standin next to her holdin sum more crumpits. He made a nasty smie at me an I angry faced.
The Bertha came out from the bathroom were she had bulimaed to stay hot (AN: BLUMIA IS A SUPER BAD THIN DONT DO IT) (I hate you...so freaking much.) I noo that becos I used magic to find out lick a detective power but magic. (That's not how it works.) "What are u lossers doin here?" She splamted as the "Alfalfa b*****" of Portal High School.
Solder standed up an said "Bertha thats not nice cant u see yur in the presents of a beauyful hot an pretty women?" He pointed to Jenny who bloodshed (So, was she slaughtering people? And let you live?) an I got more mad. "Common Jenny we gotta get to class any way."
Caroline waped (She appeared right next to you?) to us saying "Are next class is math the old teech got a nasty prostate condition (pfft...hahaha) an had to abandon his career so now we gotta new teacher from British." Jenny an me o-mouthed it must be Snape.
"Is his name Mr. Snape?" I asked to Carolne.
"No lol hes names Mr. Sanpe." She kicked open the class dore into math class. Jenny gaped an covered her mouth becos it was… SNAPE AS THE TEACHER! (So, Snape as a Math teacher? You know, I think of him more as a Chemistry or maybe Home Etc.)
"So these are the new studs?" Mr. Sanpe grumpled with him thinking. "Wate a min. You look familiar." He stared at me but I was Wheatly now so he didant get it but Jenny looked like Jenny still. "Oh well I have to task teach but Ill keep an eye on you." He sat back at the desk for drinking a beer. (Why was he drinking in class? And why is he drinking beer instead of Fire Whiskey?)
I sat down nexta Jenny Solder was also sittin next to her makin a sneermile (LIKE AN SMILE THAT'S ALSO ROOD) (So, a smirk?) at me so I gave of him da finger an he stopped. Snape didant even try to teach us. He just dranked beer an said "DO YUR ASSMENTS or Ill fail you." (...I could see him doing that.)
An he burped a belch.
I just sat fulminating at anger. Snape was rite there an I cold just kill him now but I rembered how Gobo Frabble said only Jenny wood make the final blow. (Ok, beat the crap out of him, and then have Ginny do the last punch.) So in stead I just did the math assigns till the bell branged. "Get out I have techer "grading" to do but u can stay Bertha winkwink!22" I o-mouthed at the reveel of Bertha bein in affair with Snape (...I wish Snape could read this.) so I was even more hated her.
Bertha bloshed an said "all rite Mr. Sanpe…" Then she saw me Jennyu an Carrotline still in there "GET LOOSE LOSSERS CANT U SEEM IM BISSY?" I made some thro up in my mouth an so did Jenny Caroline an we leaved out.
Suddently summon ran up to Carolslime with angry. "CAROLINE!11!22" She was very mad soundin. Carolin got scarred on her face an went wite. "OMG guys its my dad Busissness Lady (AN: SORRY I WAS RONG BISNESS MAN IS ACTUALLYA BISNESS LADY SO PRETEN IT WAS ALWAYS LIKE THAT). (Huh. Well, at least you aren't misgendering.)
"Caroltine I saw yur myspace (AN: THATS FASEBOOK FROM THE PAST BEFOUR FACEBOOK WAS INVENTED) (No, it's more like what was popular before Facebook.) an you were doin naked flashes on it! I didant rase u for that."
"IT WAS ONLY FOR GAVE NOT THE HOLE WERLD!22!" Caroine boombed back to her. Bissness Lady wasant moved tho. "You are GRONDED an have to cleen owt your moms neck hole wen it gets all mucosy form now on!" (Why doesn't she have something in it.) Caroline frond an cried some.
"Sorry guys I cant finiss the tore for you I gotta go clean The Hole." And Caroline an Bissness Lady leaved. Leavin us alone.
MEANWHILE SOME WHERE ELSE (IT'S A SEEKRIT STORY TWIUST SO U CANT NO YET)
"Im scare this is a more serios mission than I ever doned befour." Skepness Man said to the Lettuce twins becos he was nervos.
"Relax down Skepness Man" siad Rosaind Lettuce who was allokay now but with a hed bandage. "To be are apprentise yull have to don much more diffulct misshuns." (No. You have him do EASY missions. So he doesn't botch the important ones up.)
"Yay" agreeted Roberts. "Lick the time we had to kill JFK."
"OMGWTUF?!~!/!" Skepness Man (Wait, Harry Potter happens in 1998, the JFK assassination happened in 1964, MySpace was made in 2003, and they say this is all happening during the great depression. WTF?) o-mouthed with OMGing.
"Turns out he was actuallay GLaDOS is disguys gone back in tim to stop Marrissa Roberts form bein born." Roslalind said with explantion. Skepness Man nodded with head like a brave guy so they went.
Theyu went to a bandoned farm just ottside of Portal High School with a tatto man gardin it. He had both fat an mussel. "Cheery-o pip ip!" Greeted Rosaland in British, "it is are sons Birthday" she ponted to Skepness Man now in char as his undercover assign an not scared! "So we are gettin him a spesal present."
Fat an Mussel guy smiled pervy an said "Well common in my little brony" an Robot pot his hand on the Skepness Man sholder for encourage. "Go pike out a virile one son." So he went inside the inside of the bildin and the Lettuces leaved.
The horrer was all most toooooo muich for Skepness inside the place. Minature ponys were all chained up spray panted colors of MLP an neckbeard bronys were rapin them an had fedoras!11! (This is so stupid.) Skepness Man wanted to fite rite then an ther. But he new it wasant time yet. He had a MISSHUN FROM GOD (AN: LOL THATS A MOVIE QWOTE BUT IN REALITY ITS ACTUALLY REGULAR MISSHUN FROM THE LETTUCE)!~ (I hate you.)
To be continued!