021 Gifts from Iroh
The coming of her Uncle is what Azula openly admits is something she does not care much about. Predictably, Zuzu is excited. Even her mother is looking forward to it. Kiyi would not shut up about gifts and would go on and on for the whole day that Azula finds it hard already to tolerate her. Apparently she liked the dolls that Azula used to burn and appreciated the old man's nonexistent sense of humor. She never had a very comfortable relationship with Iroh, his tea-loving kookiness and there is no love lost even as they nod at each other when he comes in through the door for the first time since she… Kazumi came back.
Ty Lee squeals at the pink-bound sketchbook Uncle handed her, marveling at the admittedly exquisite Mache cover and the brown, crackling pages. From Ba Sing Se bookshop, he bragged as though that meant anything. Kiyi has run off somewhere with a green-garbed doll that looks vaguely familiar. Azula cannot place it. Zuko stays, chuckling at the paperweight that he probably got from cheap traders—pirates most likely. Even Ursa and Ikem got their share. Azula does not know why she keeps staring at her empty hands.
"Azula."
She looks up. Slowly. "Uncle."
The reunion is the most uncomfortable meeting Azula has ever encountered. At least, Ursa had had the sense to avoid direct confrontation at first, to linger around until Azula can finally pronounce herself ready. But fuddy, duddy Uncle Iroh has no such tact. The man who did not hesitate to push her over board. Of course. He would not try to find the time to hunt for gifts that she would not incinerate.
Azula has never been worth the effort.
No one stays.
She burns bridges only because there had been a spark that lit it in the first place. They never tried. They never stood by.
"I was not sure what to get you." His tone sounds apologetic. His smile uncomfortable. Uncle has never treated her like he treated everyone.
Azula's careless but pointed shrug tells him that she is not surprised one bit.
…
.
Iroh finds her in the gardens, during that particular time of the day she reserves for meditation. She does not understand why he lowers himself to sit beside her. She does not understand why he breaks the code of silence for the sake of inane conversation with a niece he never bothered with. "I used to do it all the time when Lu Ten died." He starts. His tone is strained, as if he is just forcing it out. "It is a good way to deal with grief."
Azula gradually opens her eyes, cranes her neck to face him.
"Once upon a time, I believed I would see my son again. In my several journeys to the Spirit World." He continues. His tone takes a nostalgic change. He chuckles softly. "I heard of what happened. I am sorry for your loss."
"That really does not make a difference." She rises and Iroh looks up. Riko and Sakura will still be gone, no matter how many relationships she would attempt to rebuild. She has a lifetime to erase such feelings, true. But how long does a lifetime last? Azula faces him squarely, unflinching. "But I am relieved you did not come to offer your consolations six months ago." She adds solemnly.
"I would have discouraged you from pursuing revenge indeed."
"Because it would still be pointless, I know. I realized that. I would still be empty afterwards. Violence does not solve everything. I understand that." That damn Avatar, making her sound soft-hearted like this. Her. Princess Azula. Idiot, she harrumphs to herself. But perhaps the reality is that, the world needs idiots like that once in a while.
"I am glad you do." Iroh nods sagely but stays seated. His eyes drawn towards the turtleduck pond, Azula's eyes follow his gaze. Mother and its chicks. There is always one left behind. "You told me in this exact place that I should have avenged Lu Ten's death."
"Hm." She remembers. But Iroh made it sound more all dramatic and heartwrenching that it really was. She taunted him, like she did Zuko. Because Father approved. Because Father implied she should do so.
Iroh holds her gaze. "I sometimes forced myself to think that it is the way you try to deal with pain."
"But that is not the answer, of course." Azula snorts. "I was just a nasty, difficult child."
"You were."
"You did not exactly make it a secret."
"But you loved your Father." He strays from her eyes again, looking forward. "That is a sentiment I could understand. I loved my son enough to abandon my ambition."
"And I guess, I loved my father enough to abandon my humanity."
The silence between them for the first time, is comfortable.
Maybe Uncle is not that bad, not at all.
They think the same way, sees the world with the same pair of eyes that has to witness tragedy before seeing the light. They remembered each other with both regret and mutual dislike but it seems like they can now remember each other with understanding, peace and the few things that they strongly share.
"I spoke with Lu Ten." She tells him finally and sinks down to the seat beside him.
And Iroh understands too. His smile is kind and Azula does not remember a time that she ever saw such thing. "I guess I would want to know about that. But equal trade must be followed. How about I let you speak with your Father?"
Azula thinks, that she might like Iroh's gifts after all.
…
.
"Are you done, now?"
"If you don't mind, I'll have to ask you to stay like that for a couple of minutes. There, there. Just beautiful." The sound of delicate brush strokes slaps on the rough parchment. Ty Lee has a small smile on her face as she runs the ink into squiggles and shades—things she cannot really understand. Azula does not really see much from her position but she knows enough of Ty Lee's hidden talent to trust that she could give it justice at least.
"You look really happy today, Azula." Ty Lee remarks as she looks up to observe some contour of her face she needs to double-check. Her forehead creases with concentration, tongue stuck out on the side. "You are practically glowing with pink. It suits you."
"Does my beauty inspire the artistic side of you?" She flips her hair. Self-effacing. This, she certainly does well.
Ty Lee laughs. "Nah, silly. I just want to remember this moment forever."
"That's sweet. And make a shrine of me I guess."
"I might just do that." Ty Lee is giving her that look again, fingers still sketching through. But Azula carefully avoids the protuberant eyes that beg to be held, those lush lips that beg to be kissed. She does not see Ty Lee's disappointment. She does not want to.
"The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not staying where you are."
She just came from her visit to the Capital Prison. It went well, even though Father is mostly unresponsive now that he spent seven years isolated. Azula thinks that he should just die, just leave the world if it meant that he would spend his last days to rot while she, his conspirator gets a shot of redemption. For incarceration is the worse punishment for the man who lost his identlty and everything else. She had been lucky. But in the few instances that she gets him to talk, he keeps saying that he is yet to see something. That he still needs to see something.
She just hopes he is not planning to rekindle the Organization she already killed once.
She drinks the tea that Iroh has prepared, takes it into one gulp and asks. "Is that some cheesy, old man line about moving on?"
"You sound more receptive than your brother. But it is not, as you say, cheesy when it is true." He says, cryptic as ever. The mischief sparkling in his gold eyes makes Azula roll her eyes. Agni forbid, she would age like this. "You had your past. You have your present. You still have your future. And so does that lovely, young lady."
"She has a name. Ty Lee."
"A lovely name for a future member of the royal family."
Azula takes it back.
"Ugh."
She still does not appreciate Uncle Iroh's jokes.
(TBC)