The Science of Love

by Darcyfitz1

One cottage. Two Strangers. Three weeks. What could possibly go wrong?

21. Chapter 21

A/N – Thank you for the kind reviews. Okay, here we go. Hold on. And trust me.

Disclaimer: I own nothing of The Big Bang Theory. This is for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement intended.

~Chapter 21~

To destroy is always the first step in any creation.

-E.E. Cummings

Sheldon was annoyed as he ascended the four flights of stairs leading to his apartment, his heart heavy and his thoughts in shambles. This was not how he imagined the night to have ended, especially after running into Amy earlier. What he had wanted to do, was follow Amy home and sit down for a long heart to heart talk with her. Explain to her why he'd been so distant lately, and of his decision to seek therapy. Perhaps afterwards, they could have taken Chaucer for a walk, the two of them later watching the late show and enjoying each other's company.

What he was headed into, instead, was a world of stress…if Leonard's disjointed text of 'Where the hell are you? We are in BIG trouble!' was any indication.

After reluctantly leaving Amy at the coffee shop, Sheldon arrived home after nine to find an irritated Leonard on the phone. He took of his jacket, making his way over to his friend who was sitting at his desk. He waited for Leonard to acknowledge him, and after a few minutes of shaking his head at what he was listening to on the other line, Leonard finally looked up and rolled his eyes at Sheldon. Leonard looked very angry, and Sheldon's heart lurched at what it could be that upset him so. He didn't have long to wonder, though, after Leonard's next words sealed the deal for him.

"Yes, Dr. Gablehauser. Dr. Cooper and I are aware of what this could mean for both the University and our careers. We'll do our best, Sir. Yes. I realize that, Sir. I know we worked very hard on the theory. Of course we don't anyone to steal our idea. But there is a question of obtaining the heli"-

Leonard winced, shaking his head in what Sheldon could only assume was exasperation at having been cut off again by their boss. Finally, Leonard calmed down, sighing thickly.

"I will know more by the end of the weekend and will keep in contact with you, Sir. Goodnight."

Leonard hung up the phone, blowing out a gust of breath. His eyes met Sheldon's wearily.

"We have a big problem, Sheldon." He said, his voice already sounding defeated. Sheldon didn't like it.

"What is it?" Sheldon asked apprehensively.

Leonard threw a pen across the desk in frustration, and Sheldon watched as it bounced loudly against the wood surface.

"A Swedish team of Physicists is trying to scoop our superfluid vortex experiment." Leonard said angrily.

Sheldon's mouth opened in protest, before he closed it again tightly.

"That is terrible news. How can they do that? It's…unethical. What right do they have to try and finagle it out from under us?" Sheldon sputtered, his slight lisp even more pronounced as his anger grew.

Leonard shrugged, agreeing in annoyance.

"Yeah, I know. I received an email earlier from a contact at CERN who warned me about it. Apparently in Europe, the Scientific Community thinks it was their idea. Gablehauser caught wind of it earlier and called me to make sure we have secured the rights. I told him without conducting the experiment, we have no concrete proof to patent it. He's livid now." Leonard said sarcastically, as though it was Gablehouser's idea in the first place.

Sheldon's heart plummeted as he thought of all the hours he and Leonard had devoted to this. Those meatball eating hooligans couldn't do this!

"Leonard, are you sure the Swedish Scientists are trying to steal our idea? Can you trust this contact?" Sheldon asked worriedly.

Leonard rose, going to the fridge for a drink.

"Well, yes. I think so. There is no reason he'd lie to me; especially since he has nothing to gain. At least there are still some ethical Scientists in the world. But you do know what this means, right? We need to perform the experiment immediately, and beat them to the punch. But first, we need to get our hands on some liquid helium." Leonard pointed out.

Sheldon frowned.

"Where are we going to find liquid helium this time of night? There is a shortage of it as it is. I was told its back ordered for at least a month," Sheldon said, his voice rising in panic.

Leonard nodded.

"Well…I have an idea…actually, Gablehauser had the idea. But you're not going to like it." Leonard warned.

Sheldon raised his brows in question.

"Try me." He challenged, ready to accept anything if it meant their theory could be safely proven before those tyrants stole it.

Leonard took a swig of water, swallowing loudly.

"We can ask Kripke if he has any in reserve. I know he was holding onto some for his quantum excitation experiment. But don't be surprised if he says no. Or worse…asks to be included on our findings."

Sheldon balked at the idea of his nemesis taking credit in something he and Leonard had worked so hard on.

"Oh, Lord, Leonard. I would be appreciative to the fact he helped us, even if it is Barry Kripke. But I don't think it would be fair that he takes credit on our idea. You thought it up, and I did the math." Sheldon said seriously. "It's ours. He doesn't own helium. You can't own a gas. Why should he hold us over a barrel just because he reserved some of it? It's University property, after all. Why doesn't Gablehauser demand that he share with us, if he is so hell bent on us proving it?" Sheldon asked angrily.

Leonard nodded.

"Yeah, I know. I agree, Buddy. But we might not have a choice. We are over a barrel. Siebert and Gablehauser are on the warpath that we prove this before the Swedes do. One thing is for certain: if Kripke agrees, we will have to work through the night and maybe all of tomorrow as well. Cancel all of your weekend plans," Leonard warned.

Sheldon frowned at that. He had wanted to spend the weekend with Amy, or at least, have one day to tell her about beginning therapy. He watched Leonard walk around the apartment, gathering his keys, coat, and wallet with a heavy heart.

"Sheldon? Are you ready to go to Kripke's? It's getting late and god only knows where he is on a Friday night. I may have to text him first." Leonard told his friend, noting how distracted he had become.

Sheldon sighed. Speaking to Amy would have to wait. At the moment, this was more pressing.

"I suppose. What are we going to tell Kripke?" He asked apprehensively, not having much faith in Kripke's ability to play ball.

Leonard turned to him, pursing his lips.

"I don't know…something that would interest him. We'll tell him we're conducting an experiment to prove the difference between silicone and real breasts. We'll need the helium as a conduit." Leonard joked.

Sheldon frowned.

"Seriously, Leonard. We need to have a backup plan. Kripke might very well oppose helping us, given our history together." He said, pointing out the obvious.

Leonard paused on his way down the stairs to look at Sheldon humorously.

"Oh? You think?" He asked sarcastically. "Don't worry…I think Howard knows a guy who knows a guy. Maybe we can look into that, if all else fails." Leonard said, but his voice was weary. He didn't fancy meeting some governmental black ops thief in a back alley somewhere for helium on a Friday night.

Sheldon thought about Howard's former 'contacts', and cringed at the thought.

"Not helping, Leonard." Sheldon lamented as they reached Leonard's car.

Sheldon bristled at the thought of groveling to the likes of Barry Kripke. But if he had to, he would. This was for the good of Science, as well as securing his and Leonard's place in the history of it. If they could prove their Superfluid Vortex Theory, it might very well put them both on the path to a Nobel. And it could mark the beginning of Sheldon's return to the land of the living, professionally.

He needed this chance to prove to himself that he was worthy of that coveted prize. And to prove to Amy that he was still a Scientist worthy of his salt.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Amy parked her car and got out, looking down the block to the building in which she now knew Sheldon occupied. It was a six-storied condo that looked very modern and upscale from the outside. She sighed, wondering which one of the windows were his.

Pulling out the large box she had placed on the front seat, she balanced it on her hip as she threw her purse strap across her bodice asymmetrically.

"Here goes nothing." She whispered, crossing the street and heading in the direction of the building.

To her dismay, the lobby doors were locked. There was no doorman to let her enter, so she assumed she either had to have a key or be buzzed in. She stood there a moment, debating if she should just call Sheldon and let him know that she was downstairs. She had wanted to surprise him, after all, and this would totally ruin her plans.

A couple came strolling out, leaving the door ajar as they were deep in conversation. Amy slipped inside stealthily, blowing out a gust of breath. She walked the short distance to the elevator, realizing it was taped across the sides with yellow tape warning 'out of order'. She sighed, turning to the staircase instead.

Amy's fear began to blossom with each step she took. She had hoped to hear from Sheldon after running into him on Friday night, but he hadn't called her at all weekend as he had promised he would.

He had seemed so upset after receiving that text Friday night, and she worried that he was in trouble somehow. She knew it was a bold and rash decision to just show up here unannounced, but perhaps he needed her help and was too afraid to ask for it. She had promised Missy that she would look after Sheldon, after all. No matter what the future held for them romantically, they were friends first. She wanted to ensure he was happy and safe. She left out of her mental pep talk the fact that she had baked him brownies.

Lots and lots of brownies.

After a long night of debating with herself, Amy had woken up this morning and decided to do something nice for Sheldon…in the form of her aforementioned world famous brownies. Not a big deal. At all.

Right?

This is crazy. I shouldn't feel strange or guilty. I'm not doing anything wrong. He's a grown man. I'm a grown woman. I'm not doing this for any ulterior motive; is the fact that I am a good baker a crime? This is simply one human being doing something kind for another.

Amy shook her head in disgust at her internal monologue.

Good grief… I should have majored in Law rather than Neuroscience by the way I'm pleading my case. I sound guilty, even to myself.

Amy gave herself a mental slap. There was nothing inappropriate about this. Except perhaps that she didn't call to let him know she was coming. Or ask his permission to come by unannounced. She herself had extended an invitation to him to come to her home.

He however, did not.

Well, what's done is done. She thought, hoping against hope she wasn't going to make a fool of herself. Showing up at his apartment unannounced was probably not a prudent decision, but she wanted to surprise him with the brownies. It was Sunday night, the weekend all but gone, but perhaps they could salvage a few hours of it together.

Alright, so she missed him. Moving here so close to him, she hated that fact that they were only seeing each other sporadically. After seeing him at the coffee shop the other night, it became clear to her that she had been fooling herself the last few weeks. Being without him was proving harder than she had anticipated. She longed for his company day and night. The snippets of time they shared just wasn't enough anymore. She looked forward to seeing him during the school week, and on the days they missed each other in the cantina or at the weekly morning briefings, it ruined her entire day.

She hadn't made any friends yet since moving here, other than a few grad students who enjoyed her company and asked her to accompany them for coffee some days after class. She had been so wrapped up with her new home and her new job, that meeting new people seemed like a daunting task. Besides, she wanted to keep her time free for if and when Sheldon wanted to make plans. The modern woman in her said that was crazy thinking; she had a life to live and didn't need to be beholden to a man.

The woman in love in her said she wanted his company more than anyone else's, anyway.

After he had kissed her the other night in the parking lot of The Cheesecake Factory, she was flying high with the fact he had actually put away his reservations about PDA's and had shown her affection openly. If the way he looked at her on Friday after her lecture was any indication, he was of the same mind as she was concerning the future of their relationship. They just needed a little push. That was all. And what better way to initiate the push, than with brownies?

She blushed as she imagined him throwing the brownies down on the counter, taking her in his arms, and thanking her properly.

Shaking her head of her wayward thoughts, Amy made her way up two flights of stairs before double checking his address.

Apt 4A.

Sheesh…six floors, and no elevator? No wonder Sheldon was in such good shape, she mused.

She balanced the large bakery box of brownies in the crook of her arm, wishing she had thought to bring a handle bag for easier carrying. She had made Sheldon four dozen brownies of different varieties, all extra fudgy. If she were totally honest, she'd have to admit she was excited to see his reaction. Her mind often drifted back to that night in the cottage that they fought over the brownie.

And what had ensued afterward.

He seemed a bit distracted the other night at the coffee shop, and Amy was hoping it wasn't something she did or said to make him so. She had been worrying about it for two days, even though she knew she shouldn't. She wanted to let him know that he was always in her thoughts, and as he made that grand gesture with gifting her with the piano, she wanted this to be a gesture proving that she wanted more from him than just friendship.

Continuing on, Amy could hear loud giggling as she approached the fourth floor. A gorgeous blond woman was standing in an open doorway at the top of the stairs, giggling and smiling at someone who was inside. Amy watched her curiously, deciding to wait until she was finished with her goodbyes before she trudged up the stairs and interrupted her by passing her by. But it was the woman's next words which stopped Amy in her tracks.

"I love you too, Sweetie. Have a good meeting with Gablehauser. You can officially now tell him where to stick his research grant money. I'll see you later tonight." She said sweetly, blowing a kiss with her palm. As she closed the door and went to descend the stairs, she noticed Amy standing on the middle of the set of stairs and stopped in place, fixing her with a curious smile.

"Hi, can I help you? She asked Amy kindly, no doubt wondering why she looked shell shocked.

Gablehauser? Amy thought in alarm. Dr. Gablehauser? How does she know him?

She detected a Midwestern accent from the woman; her alabaster complexion and flowing blond locks standing out. She was dressed to kill in a pair of form fitting jeans and a slinky top. Amy gaped at the pretty blond, suddenly feeling underdressed in her chenille grey sweater, long gauzy skirt, and Mary Janes.

Amy reached the top step, her eyes wandering to the door the woman just vacated.

4A.

Time seemed to stand still as she blinked slowly at the door, the gold plated 4A staring back at her almost in mockery.

Amy didn't know what happened first; the feeling that all of the air was sucked out of her lungs, or feeling the bottom of the floor dropping out from underneath her. She gasped, her eyes searching the other woman's intently.

"Um…" Amy whispered faintly, her vocal cords suddenly on strike. "Do you…you live here? I think…I may be lost." She whispered, pointing to the blue door on her left. The woman shook her head in the negative but for some reason, that didn't make Amy feel any better.

"No, I don't. But my fiancé does. I'm practically living here now, although I live across the hall in 4B." She said happily, her eyes alight as she mentioned him. Who are you looking for? Maybe we know them."

Fiancé…

Amy double checked the address in her hand, the words and numbers blurring together.

Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper

2311 N Los Robles Avenue Apt 4A

Pasadena, CA 91104

The room started to spin, and Amy felt heat suppress her cheeks. As she looked back up and gaped at the woman, she realized something. Sheldon had never once invited her to his place. He had her address, and had come to her home. But he never once offered his address in return, nor told her exactly where he resided. She was the one who looked it up in the Caltech Faculty directory, confirming it in the white pages. He'd mentioned to her the vicinity of his apartment, but never committed to actually inviting her.

A sick feeling began to overwhelm her. He had purposely kept it from her.

Suddenly, everything simultaneously became murkier yet clearer at the same time.

The secrecy.

The pulling away.

The begging he'd done, both at the cottage and here to give him time.

The way Sheldon was so afraid of hurting her. The way he wanted to take things slow. The way he hadn't invited her to dinner at The Cheesecake Factory that night, until he felt obligated to do so after seeing her at the bar.

His words to her the night he came to her home for dinner raced through her mind, the volume loud and blaring so hard that she winced.

'I'm…broken, Amy. My situation…it's complicated. You have to trust me on this, and let me solve this puzzle in my own time. Please.'

Oh, god. Sheldon…no.

Amy closed her eyes, feeling like she was going to be sick. She wavered on her feet, the air all of a suddenly feeling acrid and heavy. This heavenly creature is Sheldon's…fiancé? Was this the big secret that he was afraid to reveal? That he was in a relationship with someone else? She had fallen in love with an engaged man?

Amy's eyes drifted down to the woman's left hand, her eyes fixing upon the diamond ring which sat on her third finger. It sparkled in the overhead lights of the hallway, and Amy felt herself swoon.

This is not happening…

Suddenly, the blond shot her hand out, trying to steady Amy.

"Whoa, are you alright? You look like you're going to faint." She said with genuine concern.

Great. Gorgeous and nice. I can't even hate her now. Amy thought in shocked misery.

Sharp tears pricked the back of her throat. She hadn't felt so lost and frightened since that day when her father's attorney paid her the visit with the check for her mother's estate, essentially telling her that she was on her own. Her father wanted nothing else to do with her. That was no shock, though, as for five years she hadn't even heard from him.

But this…

Once again, a man she loved had betrayed her. Once again her trust, faith, and hope was crushed.

Amy was finding it hard to breathe. What was I thinking, falling in love with a stranger? I'm such a fool. How could I have been so blind?" She reprimanded herself.

Amy's eyes met the other woman's, marveling at how kind she looked. Had Sheldon lied to her, as well? Did she have any idea that while her fiancé was vacationing in Texas, he had grown so close with her? Kissed her? Slept with her in his bed? Was that why on New Year's Eve he had stopped them from going further, telling her that he couldn't continue?

Amy's lips began to tremble as she thought of Sheldon with this woman. Everything was a lie. All of it. And she had nobody to blame but herself. She was so quick to trust him; never asking him outright if he had a girlfriend or something more significant. Drew was right. She should have asked him weeks ago, but deep down, she was afraid to know the truth. She bought into his naïve act, even going so far as to tell him things she'd never told another soul. Vulnerable things, which exposed her soft underbelly and made her appear so weak.

Fool. Blind, immature fool. She berated herself angrily. It made perfect sense. He was handsome, intelligent, interesting. Honestly, there was no way a man like him would be alone. The entire month they'd been in Pasadena, he'd kept her at bay; on a string of his own length. In reality, he had given her just enough string to hang herself.

Steeling her resolve, Amy cleared her throat. She didn't want to make trouble for this nice woman. But she needed to clarify something; if she didn't, she would never forgive herself.

"Um…You're fiancé… Where does he work?" Amy asked hollowly. She knew the question was odd and out of left field, but she couldn't be bothered to think about that now.

The woman in question pursed her lips, confusion etched upon her face.

"He's a Physicist at Caltech University. Why?" The blond questioned, her face again contorting in worry when Amy grabbed the wall for support.

This can't be happening. Please. She begged anyone who would listen. This had to be a nightmare. She would wake up soon…perhaps back in Boston, before she had ever laid eyes on Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

"Hey…are you alright? You look very pale. I know pretty much everyone here. I could help you find them. You look like you need to sit down. Would you like to come to my apartment for a while?" The woman asked with gentleness.

Amy bit her lip, her heart palpitating wildly.

Get out of here. Now! She told herself. Ordered herself. But her legs were like rubber and wouldn't move.

"No. I'm fine, thank you. I think I have the wrong building," She said shakily, already trying to beat a hasty retreat by turning back the way she came. "T-thank you for your help." Amy said, her voice trembling.

The woman frowned at her in worry, looking down and noticing the box she held onto tightly had Sheldon's name written across the top. Amy gasped as the woman's brows shot heavenward and she looked up at Amy with a strange look upon her face. Amy could have sworn that it was a look of excitement, but that was impossible.

"Are you looking for Sheldon? Sheldon Cooper?" She asked, an incredulous tone to her voice.

Amy shook her head frantically from side to side, envisioning the woman accusing her of trying to steal her man, and yanking her hair out of her head.

Oh my god…I've kissed him. I've slept in the same bed with him. I'm…an adulterer, Amy thought in despair.

Panic seized her and she wanted to deny that she was looking for Sheldon, but she couldn't. Her voice wouldn't work. Amy could only stare at her, mouth opening and closing like a fish. Guiltily, she looked down at the bold letters 'SHELDON' written across the lid.

Oh, god…

"Sheldon's inside, I'll get him for you," The woman said happily, spinning on her heals to go back in the door she had just vacated. Amy had no idea why she looked so pleased, but she wasn't going to stick around and find out.

Amy's brain suddenly started to think clearly again, and she imagined Sheldon coming out here to find her with her little care package of brownies on his doorstep. Talking to his goddess of a fiancé. And the pair of them laughing at her. Or worse…Sheldon looking at her as though she were a stranger; trying to save face in front of the woman he loved.

Tears began to gather in Amy's eyes, as the fear of being mocked or dismissed propelled her to act.

"No! I…I'm sorry. Wrong Sheldon. Wrong building. Forget I was here." Amy said in anguish, hoping she could get out of there before Sheldon heard the commotion and came outside to investigate. She ran down the steps as quickly as she could without falling flat on her face.

Amy had never run so fast in all of her life, evidenced by the way she couldn't catch her breath as she reached the bottom landing and flew through the buildings entrance. She had parked a block away, as the building's parking lot was full. She ran to her car, feeling her sides stitching and her lungs burning. She knew her anatomy; she was beginning to hyperventilate and needed to stop and take deep breaths. As she reached her car, digging around in her purse clumsily for her keys, she started to see spots in front of her vision.

"Get me home in one piece. Please. Just let me get home in one piece", she begged aloud, finally retrieving the key and flinging open her door. She peeled out of her spot, getting onto N Los Robles and it was only then that she began to cry. Loud, gut wrenching sobs that actually hurt.

Her fiancé lived there.

He had a fiancé. A blond, beautiful, fiancé. And he had never mentioned her. Why would he have? He owed her nothing. She was just a woman who had rented a room from his sister, and he had the unfortunate luck to be stuck with her for the holidays. He had no desire to build a future with her, when he had a gorgeous woman like that in his life. Perhaps he only meant to get her back for disrupting his vacation and causing him stress.

Her anguished mind imagined him devising a plan to make her pay for intruding upon him with her over- zealous pet.

'Who's Heidi Klum?' He had asked her that first day. It seemed he would know exactly what she had been talking about that day, considering his fiancé was gorgeous and could practically be a super model herself.

Bitter tears clogged Amy's throat as she drove, not really thinking about where she was headed. What she wanted to do was go home, pack, and catch the next flight back to Boston. Crying harder, she realized that wasn't an option.

Drew was right. She was a grown woman, and it was time to do what was best for her. Falling apart because she fell in love with a taken man was unfortunate. But whether or not she had ever met Sheldon, this was the life she had chosen. Here, in California. She'd made a commitment to Caltech long before meeting Sheldon Cooper, and she could not break it because of a romance that never even began that went bad.

Her tears rolled down her face in rivulets, hot and salty. The only word that kept filtering through her mind, was why? Why would he do this to her? He wasn't that type of man…was he?

Amy thought of his family, who had welcomed her with open arms. Did they even know Sheldon at all? Missy seemed so wonderful; Mary…Rose…even Harvey. They were such decent people. They would never have let him hurt her, would they?

Amy cried and cried, not knowing who she could trust anymore. She wanted to believe this was a misunderstanding. But all signs led to a truth she couldn't face before.

Sheldon Cooper would never be hers. She had been chasing shadows for the last six weeks. The dream was over, morphing into a nightmare that she only hoped she could wake up from.

He gave Chaucer his t shirt.

He gave her his grandmother's piano.

He paid for her stay at the cottage, even though she gave half of it back to him.

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why would he do this to her? How could he do this to her? What had she done to deserve this? She had tried so hard to be his friend in the beginning; to make him trust her. And he'd abused that trust, turning it into something dirty. Had he really fallen for her in some way, and was confused because he had a prior commitment? Or had he done this to her as a joke…play with the little orphan girl's feelings because she meant nothing to him, anyway.

No, no, no…Sheldon isn't like that. He isn't. I know him. I know him…She thought in anguish.

The voice inside her head, the one that always told her she wasn't good enough to deserve her father's love because she killed her mother taunted her.

Do you know him? Really? After only seven weeks? You are a fool, Amy. No man wants you. You're a nothing. A nobody. If THAT is your competition, then sister…you're in trouble.

At the next red light, she glanced to the seat beside her with tears swimming in her eyes, horror stricken as she realized something awful.

Where the hell was the box of brownies?

She must have dropped the box in her haste to leave. The thought of him finding those brownies now made her feel sick. He would laugh at her for sure. He would know she found out about his little secret. He would know she was there.

"Why?" She wailed out loud, sure that she was going to have a panic attack. Amy cried harder, pulling over to the side of the road so she wouldn't get into an accident. She sat there weeping until she couldn't weep anymore.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Well that was strange.

Penny waited a moment after the woman fled to head downstairs. A woman? Here to see Sheldon? Bringing him a gift? And what in the world had made her so upset? She looked as though she had seen a ghost.

Penny shook her head, wondering just what the hell was going on with Sheldon these days. Could that woman have something to do with his odd behavior lately? She didn't recognize her, and the woman didn't even mention Sheldon. And why on Earth did she want to know what Leonard did for a living?

Strange.

As Penny turned the go down the second floor landing, she noticed the box the mystery woman had with her on the stairwell. She must have dropped it in her haste to leave. Picking it up, she noted that it was indeed addressed to Sheldon. She pursed her lips, knowing that it couldn't have been another Sheldon the woman was looking for. How many Sheldon's could there be on this street? Penny noticed that whatever it was inside the box, it smelled incredible. Unable to resist temptation, she opened the lid.

Brownies.

Gooey, perfect brownies. Enough to feed an entire battalion by the looks of it.

Penny stood there on the threshold, in a stupor. That woman made Sheldon brownies? His favorite dessert, ever. Obviously, she must have known Sheldon in some way. A sly grin broke out on Penny's face, and before she knew it, she was trudging back up two floors to his place. When she opened the door, Leonard was at Sheldon's computer and Sheldon was in the kitchen preparing tea.

"Hey! What are you doing back so soon?" Leonard asked her sweetly. "Forget something?"

Penny gave Leonard a quick kiss on the lips before shaking her head.

"Nope. Something weird just happened out in the hallway." Penny said in distraction, her attention focused on her lanky friend. "Ah, Sheldon? Can I speak with you a moment?" Penny asked quietly, moving into the kitchen. Sheldon turned away from his task, fixing Penny with a look of confusion.

"What is it, Penny?" He asked her, cocking a brow at how she just continued to stand there and grin at him.

Penny narrowed her eyes at him, trying to feel him out.

This could have gone a myriad of ways. But as her whackadoodle friend continued to gaze at her blankly, Penny decided to just go for the jugular.

"I just met a young woman outside in the hall. I think she was looking for you, but when I asked her she panicked and ran away. She was carrying this, but dropped it on the landing." Penny said, holding out the box with the name SHELDON written across the lid.

Sheldon's eyes drifted downward, and he stared at the box without moving for endless seconds. His eyes were round and curious, and Penny watched as he gulped.

"Open it," She encouraged, trying to gloss over the fact she already did. He took it from her cautiously, like it was a bomb about to detonate. Intrigued, Leonard came over to them to see what was happening.

The weirdest part, was Penny swore Sheldon's hands were trembling as he opened the lid.

What was that all about? She wondered, but the thought quickly died as his face broke out in a look of astonishment.

"What is it in the box?" Leonard whispered in Penny's ear.

"How would I know?" She fibbed, focusing on Sheldon again.

Sheldon, who had gone very still. Sheldon, who was as pale as a ghost. Sheldon, who let out a gasp as he stared at the contents inside the box.

He raised his eyes to Penny's, looking panicked.

"Who did you say brought these?" He questioned roughly, and Penny was taken aback at the tone of desperation in his voice.

"I just told you. A woman, but I I've never seen her before and when I asked her if she was here to see you, she said she had the wrong building. She took off so fast I thought she was going to fall down the stairs, the poor thing. She was a little shorter than me, and she had long brown hair. Oh, and glasses." Penny described.

Sheldon's eyes fly to the doorway, and Penny could see he wanted to go after her.

"Sheldon, she's gone. She left almost five minutes ago. Who is she, anyway?" Penny asked softly, both she and Leonard now curious to the identity of the woman.

Sheldon ignored Penny's question, walking over to the door instead and opening it quickly. Leonard stared at Penny with a raised brow, and she shrugged.

Sheldon just stood there, inhaling deeply with his eyes closed. When he walked back in, he picked up the box of brownies that he had dropped on the island counter and took them to his room without another word, closing the door.

"What the hell was that all about?" Leonard questioned, and for once, Penny had no idea.

"I don't know. You tell me," She said, shaking her head.

Leonard gave Penny a confused glare.

"It's a new one for me…women bringing baked goods to Sheldon? What's next…burnt offerings and blood sacrifices?" He questioned, his mind running in circles.

Penny arched her brow at Leonard.

"Well…I'm off again. I'll see you later, Sweetie."

Leonard watched his fiancé leave to go have dinner with Bernadette, before his eyes drifted over to the hallway where the bedrooms were.

Something weird was going on with his friend. He wanted to get to the bottom of it, but he didn't want to pry. It was blatantly obvious, though, that Sheldon was keeping secrets.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sheldon stared at the box sitting on his bed like it was alive. Amy had baked him brownies. Baked them. Not store bought. Not factory produced. She had taken time out of her Sunday to make him something. Something he loved. Something special to him. Something to remind him of their special time in Texas.

As if he needed any reminder.

And by the sheer amount of them here, Sheldon felt like she was trying to tell him something monumental.

They smelled incredible. Sinful, even. He lifted the lid again, and stared at the morsels of goodness in awe. But why did she run off, dropping them? Why didn't she want to knock on his door and present them to him in person? Had she changed her mind? Had she regretted baking them? Had something come up that upset her before she could knock?

A horrifying thought occurred to him: He had never given her his address. What if she felt like she were invading his privacy?

Oh, Lord. How could he be so stupid? He hadn't called her at all this weekend as he'd promised. He and Leonard had worked on their theory for thirty-six hours until this morning, when they finally solved it.

Surprisingly, Barry Kripke was more accommodating then Sheldon thought he'd be. He didn't try to blackmail them into including them on the experiment, but he did want to be acknowledged by the University for his generosity to their cause in case the experiment worked. After much deliberation, Sheldon and Leonard had thought his request was fair enough.

Gablehauser wanted to meet with them immediately to discuss it, and they were going to grab a bite to eat before they met him in his office at the University around eight pm tonight. He had wanted to finish the study and have good news for Amy before he called her, and he was going to call her once they returned later that night. She was probably hurt that he'd dismissed her. But why would she bake him such a delectable treat if she were angry at him?

His eyes took in the bounty inside the box with hunger and possessiveness.

Each square was perfect, bursting with fudge. Sheldon's mouth watered and he couldn't resist, so he lifted one out and sniffed it in appreciation. Taking a bite, his entire mouth and throat felt numb with pleasure. The chocolate was perfect- rich and dark. That must be due to the espresso she had told him about. He let out a moan, unable to help himself. As he swallowed, the heavenly taste lingered on his tongue.

Sheldon sat on his bed, stunned. These were hands down, without a doubt, the most delicious thing he could ever remember eating. They surpassed his mother's fried chicken. They surpassed his Meemaw's cookies. They were absolute perfection, made with love by the woman who held his heart in her hands.

Sheldon's eyes began to water.

She had made him brownies. No one had ever baked him brownies before. No one had ever cared for him so unselfishly before. It was the most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for him. It never occurred to him that an innocent conversation about sweets would result in her bringing him a gift.

But she had run away. Something must have upset her, although he couldn't have imagined what.

Looking into the box again, Sheldon saw a folded up piece of paper. In his shock, he must have overlooked it. Plucking it out carefully, he unfolded it as delicately as he could.

Dearest Sheldon, I think life is more interesting when something good falls into it. You fell into mine like a gift from the Cosmos. I often think about that night at the cottage, and I wanted you to know that. If you ever need a brownie fix, you know where to go. I hope you enjoy these. And don't share…they are all for you. Love, Amanda

Sheldon closed his eyes, the meaning behind her words clear. He had a surge of joy that he couldn't explain flow through him suddenly. Everything was going to be fine. She called him dearest. She told him he was a gift. She ended with Love, Amanda.

He looked at the note again, his eyes roaming over it lovingly.

It was written on the finest of parchment, in Amy's recognizable, elegant script. Sheldon sighed, folding up the paper and slipping it in his nightstand drawer.

He knew that if Amy had knocked on his door that she would have found out Leonard was his roommate. Perhaps she had done him a favor in leaving, so that he could break the news to her in his own way. Even though he and Leonard were happy about their theory working, Sheldon wanted to sit down with Amy and explain everything. He wanted to come clean and begin fresh. Everything was coming together for him, and he knew loving her was the reason.

Still, the idea that she had turned up at his doorstep, only to flee was troubling him. Not only that, the gift she had so painstakingly baked for him had been tossed to the floor like garbage. Something wasn't right.

Turning around, he plucked his cell phone off the nightstand, dialing her number. He waited as it rang four times before going to voicemail.

Sheldon frowned, trying once again. This time, it went right to voicemail on the first ring. He tried texting her.

Hello, Amy. Are you alright? I tried to call you twice, but your phone went straight to voicemail. I'm so sorry that I didn't call you this weekend. Something amazing happened, and I couldn't tell you until I was certain of the outcome. Please call me as soon as you get this message. I miss you. And…I really, really need to hear your voice. Thank you. X

Sheldon waited at least fifteen minutes for an answer, but none was forthcoming.

"Why did you leave? Where did you go?" He whispered to his empty room, his apprehension growing.

A knock sounded out on his door, and he walked over to open it slowly.

"Come on, Buddy. We have to meet Gablehauser in thirty minutes." Leonard said.

Sheldon nodded, his eyes drifting over to his phone. He went and picked it up, sliding it in his pocket.

"Everything okay?" Leonard asked him seriously, trying to catch his eyes.

"Yes. Everything is fine." Sheldon said a little too jovially.

He followed Leonard out of the apartment, his anxiety level growing. Something was very, very wrong. He may not understand sarcasm most of the time, but he knew a gut instinct when he felt it.

Everything was most certainly not fine.

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Amy managed to avoid Sheldon for four days. Sunday morphed into Monday, which tumbled into Tuesday, and so forth.

She had returned home Sunday night, barely acknowledging Chaucer as she dragged herself through the door, taking off all of her clothes and sliding under her covers naked. She just wanted to fall asleep and wake up years from now, a different person. She cried long into the night, not even eating dinner. She didn't know if it made her happy or devastated that Sheldon had not only called her twice, but left a very poignant text.

She could not deal with him yet, if ever. Her mind was racing with shock, grief, pain, and guilt. She knew she should talk to him, and hear his side of the story. But she was unable to even ponder looking him in the eye right now.

Someone would have found the box with his name on it, if not his fiancé, and surely he would know it was her who brought it. Who else would have baked four dozen brownies for someone named Sheldon?

Amy watched the morning sky over the lake change from black, to purple, to pink as the sun rose shining brightly. It mocked her, and she turned over to the opposite side, her cold body chilled from no protection.

She considered calling out sick, but felt instantly weak and disgusted with herself.

That is not an option, Fowler. She told herself. You are one of the country's leading Neuroscientists. You will get out of this bed and you will go to work.

She willed herself to get in the shower, barely able to raise her arms to wash her hair. Poor Chaucer sat on the rug outside the shower doors, frightened for his mistress and her strange behavior. After dressing hastily in a plain navy blue shirtdress, she threw her still wet hair into a bun and walked Chaucer on autopilot.

The day dragged on, but she was relieved it was a lab day and not a classroom one. She could barely see straight from all of the crying she had done all night and morning; her voice raspy and her throat dry. She glanced at herself in the mirror of her office bathroom, horrified to see her eyes were puffy and her face so pale that she resembled a ghost.

She went through all of her tests and cataloging without really seeing anything. This was second nature to her, anyway. Still, the lack of interest in her surroundings made her want to begin crying anew.

Her cell phone alerted her to a text around three pm, and reluctantly, she retrieved it from her purse.

It was from Sheldon.

Good afternoon, Dr. Fowler. I didn't hear back from you last night, and I was very worried. Amy…are you alright? Please, contact me as soon as you are able. I was hoping to see you this afternoon to discuss a matter of great import with you. Are you able to join me in the cantina for tea? Around four pm? I missed you this weekend. Once again, I'm so sorry that I didn't call you. If you are upset about that, I understand. But I have a valid excuse. Please, hear me out. Sheldon x

Amy felt like her meager lunch of saltines and an orange was going to come up. She ran to the bathroom, heaving painfully into the toilet upon reading his words. Falling to the floor, she began to cry again as the dry heaving wracked her body.

Finally, after nearly thirty minutes, she emerged and fired off an abrupt text back to him before silencing her phone and sending all texts and calls straight to voicemail. She may have to face him sooner or later, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it now.

I'm sorry but now is not a good time. She wrote.

She worked diligently for another hour, trying to finish her tasks for the day so she could just go home. When the clock struck five pm, Amy grabbed her briefcase and purse and after locking up her lab, sprinted to the parking lot. Many of the faculty cars were still there, including Sheldon's, and she breathed a sigh of relief that she'd made it out before he did. She jumped in her car and sped home, not caring that she was driving ten miles over the limit. She needed to get as far away from Sheldon as she could, and fast.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sheldon stared at his tenth unanswered text to Amy, his heart plummeting. She hadn't answered any of them save the first, back on Monday, when she told him shortly 'I'm sorry but now is not a good time.'

The coldness of her words hit him like a slap in the face. He was growing more and more frightened as the hours dragged by with no communication from her.

The faculty had a meeting on Wednesday morning, where President Siebert announced to the assembly that Sheldon and Leonard's theory had been proven and that their paper was being evaluated by CERN.

Sheldon had wanted to be the one to break the news to Amy, but it turned out that his fears were for naught; she wasn't even at the meeting, as according to a Dr. Gunderson in her department, she had called this morning to say she had an appointment and would be out most of the day.

He had tried all week to get away and go see her in her lab, or in her classroom, but one thing or another kept preventing it. Meetings, research that had gone over, student's that kept scheduling appointments with him to go over their grades or asking him for help. At lunchtime, he'd head to her lab but the door would be locked and the lights out. Each day he would belt out to the parking lot, trying to catch her before she left for the day. But each time, her car would be vacant from the lot before he arrived.

It was clear to him that she was, in fact, avoiding him. As to why, he had no idea.

What had he done? She had come to see him Sunday, bringing those brownies which she didn't even leave on his doorstep or in his possession. She had dropped them on the floor in her haste to leave, according to Penny. Try as he might, he couldn't figure out what had upset her, and his attempts to engage her had failed. He couldn't even look at the brownies, let alone eat them. He made room in the freezer for them, wrapping them in brown butcher paper away from prying eyes.

Four days had passed with no answers to his calls nor his texts. Thursday night, he finally had enough and stopped by her house after work. The place was dark, her car not in the driveway. He doubted Chaucer was even inside, since there wasn't a sound resonating anywhere. He waited outside her door for nearly two hours before he left, returning to the coffee shop in hopes she'd be there. She wasn't there either, and the barista he'd asked said he hadn't seen her all week.

Where was she?

It was now Friday, and his anxiety had mounted exponentially.

Had she finally given up on him? Had she met someone else, and didn't know how to tell him? One horrible scenario after another rolled through his mind as the silence between them grew.

His next appointment with Dr. Corbin wasn't until next week. He thought perhaps he should call him and ask for a sooner visit. He was trying to remain calm, but it wasn't like Amy to behave in this manner. He hadn't seen her in a week, and had only received that one text from her on Monday.

As the lunchtime bell rang out on, he barely dismissed his class before he sprinted across campus to her wing to try and catch her. He couldn't take it anymore, this not knowing. As he turned the corner and peered into her lab, he noticed immediately that she wasn't present. But the room was awash with grad students, all of which were doing experiments.

Sheldon took a shaky breath, knocking on the glass gently. A woman he recognized from last Friday's lecture walked over to him, smiling slightly.

"May I help you?" She asked, and he looked around sheepishly.

"May I speak with Dr. Fowler, please? He asked, his face falling when the woman shook her head in the negative.

"I'm sorry, Sir. She's in her office in conference with several students." The woman said respectfully.

Sheldon looked towards her office door, suddenly despising the wood that lay between them.

"Well…how long will it take? I have a free hour before my next class." He asked hopefully, but the girl shook her head again.

"I'm sorry, but Dr. Fowler asked not to be disturbed once her meeting is over. She said she had a migraine and might leave early."

Sheldon's eyes widened in fright at the grad student's statement.

A migraine? Was she ill? Could that explain why she'd been so quiet all week, avoiding his calls and attempts at contacting her? His worry only grew, as his stomach began to churn with anxiety. What if she needed him? Why hadn't she answered his calls or texts? Why was she doing this?

Taking a deep breath, he bit his lip harshly.

"May I leave a message with you?" He asked the young woman, his voice shaking.

"Of course." She said kindly, her eyes narrowing at the obviously distraught Professor. She reached over to Amy's lab desk, plucking off a post it pad and a pen.

Sheldon stared at her blankly for a moment.

"Sir?" The woman asked quietly, snapping Sheldon to attention.

"Oh. Yes. Please ask her to call Dr. Cooper in the Physics Department as soon as she is able. She has the number. It is extremely urgent." He stressed.

The young woman nodded, writing the message down on a post it as Sheldon watched.

"I will, Sir." She promised, sticking the note on Amy's lab table.

Sheldon stared at the note, his mind racing. He looked up to find the woman arching a brow at him in question.

"Thank you." He whispered, turning and leaving. His feet felt like lead as he walked back to his office, unable to concentrate on anything for the rest of the afternoon. Hitting his intercom button, he called his assistant Alex into the room.

"Yes, Dr. Cooper?" She asked expectantly, frowning when she noticed how pale he looked. "Sir, are you alright?" She asked, concerned.

Sheldon looked up, nodding silently.

"I'm leaving early today. Please cancel my last class at 3 pm." He whispered, knowing that if he didn't catch Amy today before he left, that he was going to have a meltdown. Something had shifted, and he didn't like the dreadful feeling of foreboding in his chest.

Alex nodded at her boss, her eyes tracking him as he gathered up his laptop and jacket, murmuring a quiet 'good day' to her before disappearing out the door.

Sheldon got in his car and drove the short distance to where her car was parked, getting out and waiting for her for nearly an hour. If this was the only way to catch her, then so be it. He watched in shock as she exited the building, losing his breath at the sight of her. Her entire posture screamed beleaguered, and he longed to rush over to make sure that she was alright. What had happened to her?

As Amy neared her car, she looked up distractedly, spotting Sheldon there. Sheldon watched as she visibly flinched, her eyes growing so wide that she looked petrified. She looked pale and drawn, had dark circles under her eyes, and her usually lustrous hair resembled a stringy mess. She had pulled it back into a tight ponytail at the back of her head, messy tendrils escaping.

Sheldon pushed himself off of her car, rushing over to her in a panic. She seemed to shrink back from him, sidestepping his attempt to approach her. That only served to stop him in his tracks, staring at her with frightened eyes.

"Amy…are you alright? I've been worried sick about you. I've called you numerous times, texted you…I came by your house last night, but you weren't there. I even came by your lab today. Didn't you receive my messages? One of your grad student's told me you had a migraine. May I take you to the Dr.? Are you ill? Please, let me help you." He said frantically, trying in vain to meet her eyes and touch her.

Amy finally looked up and met his gaze, and Sheldon swayed with fear at the desolation in her green depths. They were dull; the usual bright green darkened to a muddy sheen that looked as though she were suffering the effects of shock.

Something awful must have happened. His poor Amy. He had no idea what he would do if someone had harmed her in any way. A murderous rage began to blossom in his chest, his only thought to find whomever had caused her this pain and make them pay.

A terrible thought occurred to him all of a sudden. What if something had happened to someone she loved?

Oh, god. Was it Chaucer? Drew? Her father? Was she really ill, and didn't want to tell him? He wondered in a panic, fear for her making him feel nauseated.

Taking a step closer to her and attempting to embrace her, he was shocked when Amy took a step back and put her hands up in front of her defensively to block him. He stepped back, eyeing her with confusion and fear. A sharp pain formed in his chest as he realized she hadn't yet even said a word to him.

"Amy?" He whispered, searching her face for answers. Her vacant eyes stared right through him. "What is it? What's wrong? Please tell me," He begged her.

Amy began to walk sideways, trying to move around him to her car. Her heart was pounding so deeply that she felt faint. The never ending crying, lack of food, and possible dehydration over the week had weakened her. She had to get out of here now before she broke down and passed out.

Forgetting decorum due to fear, Sheldon grabbed her arm tenderly to pull her back to him, but Amy shrugged out of his grasp. He looked wounded and shocked, but Amy couldn't find it in herself to feel pity for him.

"Amy?" He choked out, his voice a mere questioning whisper. He had never seen her this way, and it scared the hell out of him. He wasn't prepared for her next words, though, and when she delivered them he nearly threw up.

"I can't do this anymore, Sheldon. I don't think…I don't think we should see each other again. Please…leave me alone." She said hollowly.

Sheldon tried to swallow around the lump in his throat, his ears burning at her words.

"Amy…what happened? Why? I"-

Amy looked up at him, the words rushing out of her mouth shakily as she cut him off.

"I know, Sheldon." She whispered in anguish.

Sheldon stared at her strangely.

"You know…what?" He asked, eerily quiet.

Amy wanted to lash out at him for being so cruel, but she didn't have any more fight in her. If he wanted to play games, he'd have to find a more willing playmate. She was done.

"I know about the secret you've been keeping. Everything makes sense now to me. Why you didn't want to hurt me. Why you wanted to keep our relationship quiet. Why I was never invited to your apartment. I know." She whispered in defeat.

Sheldon's entire body shook with fear as she gazed at him with mistrust.

Oh, no. She found out about my breakdown. And that I'd kept from her the fact I lived with Leonard. That's probably why she was upset when she came over.

"Amy, please…let me explain." He implored, trying to move closer to her again.

Amy shook her head rapidly, tears forming in her eyes.

"You should have explained six weeks ago, when we met. Or three weeks ago when…" She faltered, her voice cracking and the tears beginning to flow. But Sheldon knew what timeframe Amy was referencing.

Sheldon's worse fears came to life as she started sobbing. So she now knew that he had suffered a nervous breakdown and was considered to be a joke in the Scientific Community. The guilt and shame flowed through him and he winced.

"Amy, I didn't know how to tell you. I feared you would think me less of a man." He whispered, knowing that he had no excuse for not telling her the truth weeks ago. She was a kind, mature, intelligent woman who honestly cared about him. She would have understood, if he had only been honest with her. Hearing such news from an outside source must have shocked her. But how? How did she find out?

Amy laughed sarcastically, crying harder. Sheldon watched in helplessness as her face hardened as she looked at him.

"Oh, yes. Because finding out what a liar you are is so much better." She sobbed, her voice holding bitterness and pain.

Sheldon felt his heart shatter, sharp shards digging into his every organ.

Oh, Amy…no. He thought desperately.

"I didn't lie," He whispered, trembling. "I just…I couldn't tell you the whole story. I wasn't ready."

Amy shook her head in sorrow.

"You purposefully hid this. No wonder. My question is why? Why would you do this to me? After everything that happened…our friendship. The way you treated me, the last few days we spent together in Texas. Did you think this would be funny? To lead me on like this, get me involved, and then have me find out the truth the way that I did? Do you know how much you've hurt me, Sheldon?" She sobbed.

Sheldon's eyes widened.

"Amy, No! You don't understand. I didn't want you to find out like this. I wanted to be the one to tell you everything. I would never lead you on"-

Amy screeched loudly, her sobs torturing him.

"Please, stop. I can't listen to this." She whispered brokenly. "What you need to understand, is that I'm not a fool. I want you to let me go. Please don't call me anymore, or try to contact me in any way. I will make arrangements somehow to deliver your grandmother's piano back to you. But please…stay away from me." She begged, the tears pouring down her pale face in torrents.

Sheldon felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach.

This isn't happening, He screamed in his mind, over and over again. All because I wasn't the one to tell her I suffered a breakdown? But…why? She knew his issues; knew how hard it was for him to communicate. Why would she be so cruel as to do this now?

He refused to believe his ears. The Amy he loved would not treat him this way. Something was wrong; some misunderstanding had taken place here, and he needed to find out what. She honestly believed something so awful about him; that he would lead her on?

No…

He put his hands on her shoulders gently, desperate for her to listen to him.

"Amy, please. Don't do this. I care about you…so very much. I don't want to lose what we have"-

Amy swung away in a fit of rage, nearly knocking him over in the process.

"Stop it! This little game of yours, it's over. Now, you don't have to worry about keeping me a secret from everyone. Or try to find a niche for me in your life because you feel sorry for me. Just pretend that you never met me, and everyone will be happy." She cried hysterically, attempting to open her door.

"W-what are you talking about? I'm not playing any games. This was never a game to me. I was scared, dammit! The closer you and I become, the worse I felt in hiding this from you. Please listen to me! I've been trying to work this out, which is why I've been so distant. I never meant to keep this from you. I never meant for you to find out like this." He cried again in agitation, fearing he wasn't going to be able to get through to her.

Amy shook her head in dismay.

"Of course you didn't! You never meant for me to find out at all. I feel like I don't even know you. Was everything you've ever said to me a lie?" She asked, her voice frail.

Sheldon's eyes began to water as the reality of the situation hit him.

"N-no." He stuttered, shaken and afraid.

She's ending this. It's over. All because you aren't good enough. And because you kept this from her. Now she knows that you are just a shell of the man you once were.

"I've never lied to you. My god, how could you think that?" He yelled frantically, not caring who in the parking lot heard him. "I told you things I've never told anyone!" He said, his heart beginning to pound in his chest mercilessly.

Amy's face fell in sadness, her beautiful eyes looking dead.

"Omission is as great as a lie. Now you and your secret can be very happy together. I won't get in the way." She whispered.

Sheldon stared at her in confusion. What in the hell was she talking about?

"Amy, please! Don't leave. I can explain. Please come with me back to my apartment and let me explain," He begged.

Amy closed her eyes, her tears slipping from her closed lids.

"Now I get an invitation?" She gasped, not able to catch her breath as her dreams lay shattered around her in the Caltech parking lot.

Sheldon's eyes bore into hers in agony.

"Amy…please. I couldn't tell you. I wasn't ready. I was so afraid. I've taken steps to ensure"-

Amy cut him off, her loud sobs gutting him.

"I wanted to give you everything. Everything. I would have. I've never felt this way about anyone before, Sheldon. I…trusted you. I've never trusted anyone before, but I trusted you. You should be ashamed of yourself." She whispered, the malice gone from her voice and nothing remaining but pain.

Amy jumped in her car, slamming the door and speeding away as Sheldon slumped over, trying to catch his breath.

"Oh…oh god." He cried helplessly. His heart constricted in his chest, his breathing speeding up until he felt like he was going to suffocate.

"No. no. no." He repeated over and over, taking out his keys from his pocket with shaking fingers. He dropped them twice before he was able to get his car door open. Falling into the driver's side, he slumped over the wheel and tried to catch his breath. All he could do was cry, wondering how the hell he could have let this happen.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Leonard? Have you seen my gold earrings? Did I leave them on your desk?" Penny shouted from the bathroom, running out to see if Leonard had found them.

"Yeah, here they are." He said, handing them over to her and accepting her kiss of thanks.

"Thanks, Sweetie."

Leonard made his way back his bedroom to retrieve his shoes.

The pair had made dinner plans with Raj and Emily, and were already running late when the door opened and Sheldon walked in, Penny turning around to greet him.

"Hey Sheldon. It's almost eight pm, young man. Where have you been?" Penny asked in a mock stern voice, but the smile of welcome slid off her face as she took in his appearance.

Sheldon was sweating profusely, his clothing sticking to him despite the cool temperatures outside. He had left for work today in a jacket and tie, but both were missing now as his dress shirt was opened exposing his white undershirt. His hair was soaking wet and his face pale, which made no sense since he looked out of breath like he had just run a 26 mile marathon.

He looked on the verge of collapse, and not in his usual, hypochondriac way. Penny feared he was having a heart attack, and rushed over to him.

"Sheldon, what's wrong?" She yelled, trying to steady him as stared at her, his gaze unfocused.

Sheldon wobbled on his legs, blinking at her in a daze.

"Leonard! Get out here now." Penny screamed, causing her soon to be husband to race out from his room in a panic.

"What is it?" Leonard shouted, his concern turning to terror as he saw his friend's condition.

Together, Leonard and Penny pulled Sheldon to the couch, dropping him down in the middle where they each flanked him at either side.

"Sheldon? Can you hear me, buddy? What's wrong with you? What's happened?" Leonard asked sternly, trying to get him to focus. Sheldon wavered, his head lobbing back and forth drowsily.

Penny reached a hand out to Sheldon's chest, feeling his heartbeat thumping madly against her palm.

"Leonard?" She asked in a fright, but Leonard had no answers himself.

"How did you get home?" Leonard asked frantically, praying Sheldon hadn't gotten behind the wheel of his car in this condition.

Sheldon opened and closed his mouth, his mind a blank as he tried to piece together the last few hours.

After Amy drove away, he had found himself sitting in his car, the late afternoon changing into evening. He sat in a stupor, numb and afraid. Why was Amy doing this? She was such a sweet, dear soul. He had been afraid to tell her his history, but he never expected her to react with such anger and vitriol. Had he misjudged her all along? Was she just another vapid woman who could only care about him if he were perfect and whole? He wanted to tell her that he was seeing a therapist; he was trying to heal himself not only for himself, but for her.

No. That wasn't Amy. He may have only known her six weeks, but the woman he'd fallen in love with was so caring. She had talked to him like he was a stranger. On top of that, there was horrible pain in her voice and eyes that flayed him because she honestly thought he'd caused it. Had his omission hurt her that much? He wanted to explain to her, but she couldn't even look at him. He felt like he had snuffed out the trust and faith she had in him like a flickering candle in the middle of a hurricane.

Darkness enveloped his car, and he desperately wanted to go home. He couldn't think straight; couldn't formulate one coherent thought and it frightened him. All he could see was her dead expression. All he could hear was the painful grate of her fragile voice.

You should be ashamed of yourself…

What had he done? He knew this day was coming. Gifts like Amy didn't come along more than once in a lifetime. And he'd broken her trust in him.

It's your own fault for being such a goddamned baby. His mind sneered at him. It was his father's voice that he heard.

Sheldon had begun to cry, the sobs wracking his slim frame and bouncing off the windows of his car. He felt his heart beginning to beat a trip hammer, and his vision began to blur.

Oh, Lord…not again. He thought in a panic, reaching into his messenger bag and pulling out the prescription bottle that he had filled before leaving for Texas. The ironic thing, was he didn't need to use one of those pills his entire time back home. He knew the reason for that, and the thought made him sob harder.

"Sheldon? Look at me!" Leonard demanded, snapping Sheldon's tentative attention back to him.

"How did you get home, Sheldon?" Leonard repeated fearfully.

"I…I…w-walked." Sheldon rasped, his eyes not focusing on anything and his voice hollow.

"Walked? Why? Did your car break down? Why didn't you call me?" Leonard asked softly.

Whatever had caused this reaction wasn't fear about his car breaking down, Leonard thought.

"I don't know." Sheldon whispered, his eyes closing heavily.

"Sheldon…where is your car?" Penny asked gently, rubbing Sheldon's back in a soothing manner.

"I…" Sheldon faltered, his eyelids dropping again. "At work." He managed to say.

"Sheldon? Look at me, buddy."

Sheldon's eyes drifted over to Leonard's, and he could tell Sheldon had ingested something. His eyes were glassy and his pupils pin points.

"Sheldon…did you take the medication that Dr. Corbin had prescribed for you?"

Sheldon nodded slightly.

"Ativan…I took two Ativan." Sheldon murmured, barely able to sit up straight.

Leonard and Penny looked at each other, scared to death now. They knew Sheldon's aversion to drugs, even legal ones. For him to break down and take a tranquilizer proved to them that something awful had happened.

"Sheldon, why? Did something happen?" Leonard asked gently, rubbing his hand across Sheldon's shoulder soothingly.

"Panic attack. Bad panic attack." Sheldon rasped, tears beginning to clog his throat.

"Get him some water, Penny." Leonard ordered softly.

Penny nodded, rushing into the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of water.

"Leonard, should we call 911?" Penny asked fearfully, popping the cap open and handing it to Leonard.

Leonard took a hold of Sheldon's shoulder, leaning Sheldon into his embrace.

"Buddy, please drink this. You look like you're about to pass out."

Sheldon did as he was told, sipping the water in painful gulps which made him sputter and cough.

To their utter shock and amazement, Sheldon began to cry.

"I want to go to my room. I want to go to sleep. I d-don't feel well." He sobbed, already trying to rise and head to the bedrooms.

"Sheldon…are you sure you don't want me to call 911?" Leonard asked his friend fearfully, memories of last November scaring him.

Sheldon sobbed and hiccupped, shaking his head rapidly.

"N-no. I just want to lie down. Please." He begged, and it was clear to Penny and Leonard he wouldn't make it another step without their support. They each wondered how in the hell he made it home in one piece as it was.

"Okay, Sweetie. We've got you." Penny promised, allowing Sheldon to lean on her left side while Leonard allowed him to lean on his right. They stumbled up the landing step clumsily, before Leonard lunged forward as they neared Sheldon's room and opened his door.

Penny let go of his arm, pulling his comforter aside as Leonard maneuvered him onto the sheets. Once situated, Penny removed his already unbuttoned dress shirt while Leonard unlaced his shoes and pulled them off his feet so that he would be more comfortable.

Sheldon rolled himself into a fetal ball, yanking his pillow against his face and cried softly as Leonard and Penny looked on helplessly.

Leonard leaned over, whispering in Penny's ear quietly.

"Go text Raj. Tell him we can't make it tonight. I can't leave him like this." Leonard whispered, and Penny nodded in agreement.

"Of course. I'll be right back." She promised, her eyes taking in Sheldon again with pity and fear before she quietly left.

Leonard said down at the foot of Sheldon's bed gingerly, but the movement didn't even startle him. His sobs began to quiet, but his body still shook with the effort.

"Sheldon? What can I do, Buddy. Please, tell me. What do you need?" Leonard asked his friend, clueless as to what had caused this.

The moments stretched on before Sheldon became as still as a statue, seemingly cried out as the Ativan took effect. Penny had come back, sitting down on the bed next to Leonard as they watched Sheldon in silence together.

"What the hell is going on, Leonard? What happened at work today?" Penny whispered, but Leonard shook his head in dismay.

"I have no idea. I haven't seen him much all week. He hadn't joined the guys and me for lunch, and he's been gone every night this week. I thought things were improving for him. After last weekend, and solving the theory, I thought he'd finally turned a corner." Leonard admitted, his fear rising again for the mental state of his best friend.

Sheldon released his death grip on his pillow, turning up his face to recline his head back against the other pillow. He mumbled something, before passing out completely.

Penny squinted her eyes, trying to make out what he had said.

"What did he say?" She asked Leonard, and her fiancé sat back with a puzzled expression, folding his arms across his chest.

"He said, 'And she was fair as is the rose in May.'" Leonard recited, his own eyes narrowing.

"What does that mean?" Penny asked.

Leonard bit his lip, another piece of the puzzle fitting into place.

"It's a quote. From a poet named Geoffrey Chaucer." Leonard whispered.

There were coincidences in life, and there were coincidences. This seemed a little too much so for Leonard.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was late morning when Sheldon awoke, sitting up slowly to find both Leonard and Penny in his room watching him. The effects of the benzodiazepam he'd taken were still in his system, making everything look hazy and his limbs felt like he was swimming through molasses. He wondered how it was he made it home last night; the four mile walk a blur in his mind.

He stared silently at his friends, wondering just how long they'd been in his room.

"Hey, Buddy. How are you?" Leonard whispered quietly.

How was he? That was a good question.

Sheldon felt like the sunlight had been taken away. All that remained now was darkness. Amy's tear stained face snapped into his mind, causing a fresh round of tears to come tumbling out of him.

Was it going to be this way forever? Every morning, wake up and for a split second forget that he almost had it all before he'd ruined it?

"She hates me now. She hates me…I did this. I knew this would happen. I knew it," He cried, leaning forward to put his head between his knees. Leonard and Penny stared at each other in confusion.

"Who hates you, buddy? What are you talking about?" Leonard asked him gently.

The tenderness in his friend's voice made Sheldon stare at Leonard in horror.

"Oh, God…she's right. I am a liar. I've even lied to you. You're my best friend, and I've lied to you. I'm such a…bastard." Sheldon wailed, his tears coming faster.

Leonard rubbed his back, confusion pouring off of him as his friend cried loudly.

"Buddy…come on. Tell us what's going on. You're scaring the hell out of me and Penny. Please…" He beseeched him.

Sheldon's eyes met Leonard's, then Penny's. These people were the best friends he could have ever asked for. He didn't deserve them. He didn't deserve anyone, it seemed.

"I'm such a loser. Oh my god…how could I have let this happen?" He begged of his friend, his blue eyes wide now and so full of pain that Leonard gasped.

"Sheldon, please. Calm down. Do you want us to take you to the hospital?" He asked again fearfully, but Sheldon shook his head in the negative slowly.

"No…I'm not sick. But I'm dying inside." He whispered, closing his eyes as his tears dripped down his face.

"Oh, Sheldon." Penny sobbed, crying now herself as both she and Leonard waited for Sheldon to elaborate. It took him nearly ten minutes to calm down from his sobbing before he was able to speak.

"I…I should have told you. I should have told her. I was such a coward, and now…" He faltered, knowing the time had come for him to come clean.

Leonard swallowed thickly, putting his hand on Sheldon's back gently.

"Sheldon…it's been clear to Penny and me for almost a month now that something is going on with you. You haven't been the same since you came home from Texas. We're your friends. We love you. We want to help you. So please, tell us the truth. What happened to you?" Leonard begged his friend, his eyes searching Sheldon's for answers.

Sheldon sighed, nodding his head. He thought of his session with Dr. Corbin last week, and knew if he was ever going to get past his fears and anxiety, he needed to talk out his feelings. He trusted Leonard above all others. He knew his friend would never steer him wrong.

Taking a deep breath, Sheldon blew it out shakily.

"Something did happen to me. In Texas, over my vacation." Sheldon whispered, and Penny gasped loudly.

"I knew it!" She said, her voice cracking as she looked at Leonard.

Leonard narrowed his brows and frowned, all sorts of horrible scenarios filtering through his mind.

"What happened to you, Sheldon? Were you hurt? Did someone hurt you?" Leonard asked quietly, rubbing his friend's arm soothingly.

Sheldon sniffled.

"I…I don't even know where to begin." Sheldon murmured, his voice soft and sad.

Leonard bit his lip, swallowing deeply.

"From the beginning is always best." Leonard coaxed softly, and Sheldon turned to stare at Leonard thoughtfully.

Those were Dr. Corbin's words, Sheldon thought in a daze. No wonder he loved Leonard so much. He always knew the right thing to say.

"Okay." He whispered resolutely. "The beginning…My sister Missy had placed an ad to AirBNB to rent out our cottage on Clear Lake. She wanted to make some money for the holidays, as the house was vacant." He said.

Penny narrowed her brows in confusion.

"But…it wasn't vacant. You were there." She pointed out.

Sheldon nodded, biting his lip.

"I never told Missy or my family I was definitely coming for Christmas. The day I showed up, so did the renter who had answered the ad. Needless to say…I was quite put out." Sheldon whispered.

Penny and Leonard stared at Sheldon with a 'go on' expression, and he closed his eyes, unable to watch their faces as he explained.

"It…The renter was a woman. She was moving from back east on her way to the west coast, and decided to rent the cottage for three weeks to relax. We had a huge argument. I was livid, because she called the Sheriff to mediate who just happens to be Harvey, my mother's boyfriend. He told me I had to allow her to stay there or she could sue Missy and Mama for breach of contract. He told me to make the best of a bad situation, and just play nice. So…I did. I had no choice." Sheldon murmured.

Leonard and Penny turned to look at each in shock.

"Let me get this straight…you shared the cottage with a strange woman for three whole weeks." Penny asked, her voice incredulous.

Sheldon nodded his head slowly.

"Yes. We…we um, surprisingly had a lot in common. We got to know each other, and became friends. She is very much into Sci-Fi, and we went to see Star Wars together. We spent every day together doing holiday activities. We spent Christmas together with my family. We went to a bonfire…went ice skating. She is a wonderful cook. She made us dinner every night, each meal more delicious than the last. It turned out to be the happiest time of my whole life. We spent New Year's Eve watching fireworks from the dock. I couldn't stand it anymore. I didn't know what was happening to me. I kissed her. She kissed me back. We…we just kept kissing. And it was magical. I've never felt that way before. I…" He faltered, his tears falling down his face as each and every memory flicked across his perfect memory like a movie reel.

"What, Sheldon? You what?" Penny whispered, rubbing his cheeks gently to rid them of tears.

"I…I fell in love with her." Sheldon lamented softly, his eyes meeting Penny's for the first time.

The depth of emotion there floored her, and it was then that Penny realized this look was the same look she'd seen on Sheldon at the airport that day she picked him up. It was love. It was love all along. She knew it.

Penny lost her breath, staring at first Leonard and then back to Sheldon with shock.

"Sheldon…" She gasped, her hand flying to her mouth as Leonard shook his head back and forth in disbelief.

"What…what happened, buddy?" Leonard asked gently. "Where is she now?"

Sheldon laughed hysterically, his body shaking with it before the laughter turned to sobs.

"Oh…that's the best part, Leonard." He said in irony. "You see…she was a Neuroscientist on her way from Boston to Pasadena, to work at Caltech. My sister rented out the cottage to a woman that just so happened to be on her way to live here. Merely four miles away from me. So near, and yet so far," He trailed off, staring into space.

Leonard sat back, gazing at his friend in surprise as the pieces of the puzzle clicked together.

"Sheldon…you're not saying that you and Dr. Fowler…?" He trailed off, his suspicions confirmed as Sheldon's lips trembled.

"Yes." Sheldon whispered.

Leonard shook his head, letting out a surprised gasp. This was like sensory overload, here.

"I knew it. I knew…something was going on with you both. The way you reacted the first day of orientation…you looked like you were about to have a coronary when you shook her hand. And that first Sunday after you returned, you walked into the living room and called out the name Chaucer. I thought I was hearing things until she mentioned at The Cheesecake Factory the other night that Chaucer was her dog's name. Her dog stayed with you as well, didn't he?" He asked him gently, unsurprised when Sheldon nodded.

"Yes. They both did. And…it was the happiest I've ever been in my life, Leonard. I never knew how lonely I was until I met her. I didn't know how I was going to tell her that I had a nervous breakdown. She is so accomplished. I felt weak and afraid, admitting that to her. Not only that…I was ashamed to admit to her that I had a roommate. She just purchased a beautiful home. Yet I still live with you and I'm thirty-five. I never told her that you lived with me. I never invited her here, and that really hurt her. God…I've made so many mistakes with her. And now, she never wants to talk to me again." He sobbed brokenly.

Penny sat there in confusion, her gaze flickering between Sheldon and Leonard.

"Um…could someone clue me in here? I'm lost. Who is Dr. Fowler? Are you talking about the new Professor you guys mentioned you had dinner with the night I flew to San Francisco?"

Leonard pulled his attention away from Sheldon to answer Penny properly.

"Yes. Amy Farrah Fowler. For the last week, I suspected something was up between the two of them. But I thought that it was impossible. You didn't get to meet her that night. I had assured her that you would one day." Leonard said.

Sheldon chuffed again, shaking his head.

"Oh…Penny did get to meet her, Leonard. She just didn't know it. Amy is the one who brought the brownies to me last week." Sheldon whispered, the mere mentioning of it making his chest hurt.

They…hold a special memory for us. But I have no idea why she freaked out the way you said she did. And why she ran away like that. That was when I realized something was very wrong. She didn't speak to me all week. And then, last night…I waited for her in the Caltech parking lot. She told me she had discovered my secret, and never wanted to talk to me again. She…it wasn't her. It was some other Amy that took her place. She was so angry. So cold. So…devastated and disappointed in me. I…" He broke off, unable to finish.

Penny's eyes widened, her mind racing back to the night in question, when she'd met this Amy outside in the hall. All of a sudden, things became clear to her. She looked over at Leonard, nodding to him to follow her out of the room.

"Sheldon, We're going outside a minute. We'll be back." Leonard promised, rising from the bed and following his fiancé out into the hallway. Apparently that wasn't far enough, because Penny took his hand and dragged him into the kitchen, far away from Sheldon's Vulcan like hearing.

"What's the matter?" Leonard asked her, his face concerned as he watched Penny's drain of color.

"We have a big problem, Leonard. Oh, my god. Why didn't I see this earlier?" She asked herself, shaking her head.

"Penny, you're acting as strangely as Sheldon. Please calm down and tell me what this is about." He implored.

Penny took a deep breath.

"Leonard, if that was Amy who brought the brownies that night, then there has been a huge misunderstanding. I think…I think Amy assumes that Sheldon is my fiancé."

Leonard scrunched up his face in confusion.

"Why would she think that?" He asked.

"I was leaving the apartment when I ran into Amy on the stairs. She heard me say I love you to someone inside. She asked me if I lived there, and I said no but my fiancé does. She even asked me what my fiancé did for a living. I mentioned he was a Physicist for Caltech. Don't you see? If she didn't know you and Sheldon were roommates"-

Leonard rolled his eyes in understanding, finishing Penny's thoughts.

"Then she must think Sheldon lives here alone and hid you from her all of this time. Oh, Penny. She must have assumed that was his big secret. She must have been gutted to think Sheldon lied to her. And Sheldon…she lashed out at him without giving him a chance to explain. He has no idea what she really thought. He assumes she found out about his breakdown. What a freaking mess." Leonard said seriously.

"We have to fix this. We can't let her think Sheldon lied to her." Penny said seriously, pacing the small kitchen in agitation. "Oh, man…the look on her face, Leonard. She almost fainted. Dammit…I should have known she got the wrong idea when I saw Sheldon's name on the box." Penny lamented.

Leonard took a deep breath, blowing it out.

"I'll go talk to Dr. Fowler. You stay here with Sheldon and keep an eye on him. In his condition, he's liable to do anything." Leonard said fearfully, going to the closet and pulling out his coat.

"Do you want me to go instead?"

Leonard shook his head frantically.

"No! She still doesn't know who you are. If you show up at her door, she may think the worst; like you're there to confront her." Leonard pointed out.

"Good point…" Penny agreed, chewing her lip.

"Look…I will explain to her the best I can. Hopefully, she will believe me and come back here to talk to Sheldon. I'll text you beforehand to let you know what's happening. It's probably wise if once I explain, you and I both talk to her before she speaks with Sheldon. She needs to know from where all of Sheldon's fears stem." He said softly.

"Okay, Sweetie."

"Stay put. And try to get Sheldon to eat something. I don't know when the last time he ate was."

Penny nodded, walking Leonard to the door. He turned to hug her.

"Can you believe all of this?" He asked her incredulously.

Penny nodded, just as overwhelmed by this turn of events as her fiancé was.

"I'm so sorry, Leonard. This is all my fault. That poor woman thinks…and Sheldon is in there…" Penny said, her voice shaking. She knew how it felt to be on the other side of the matter, worrying that the man she loved had lied to her. She only hoped that Leonard could reason with the woman who had seemingly captured their friend's heart.

Leonard embraced Penny tightly, trying to calm her down.

"It's not your fault, Honey. You did nothing wrong. How were you to know? This is just a crazy misunderstanding. One that hopefully can be resolved. I don't even know where to begin here…" Leonard admitted, the idea that his friend had fallen in love over the course of three weeks seemingly unbelievable.

Leonard walked over to Sheldon's desk, using Sheldon's password to sign into his Gmail. He hated invading his privacy, but right now, it couldn't be helped. Scrolling past his contacts, he found Amy's address.

Penny watched Leonard as he retrieved the information, stepping back as he wrote it down and took the paper with him.

"I'll be back. Take care of him." Leonard whispered gently.

Penny nodded wordlessly.

Leaving Sheldon in Penny's hands, Leonard trotted down the stairs. Hopefully, this could all be fixed with a simple explanation.

One thing was obvious to Leonard, though…if he wasn't successful, he didn't know how Sheldon would cope with the fallout.

A/N- Thank you for reading. And if you must, scroll back up and read the poetry verse at the start of the chapter. X