2 Weeks Later
Emily jumped awake for the second time that night, after lying awake for hours before she fell asleep both times. She had been back there, in the bank, recoiling from the sound of Mickey's voice, and trying desperately to stay calm. She'd woken as Mickey came stomping angrily toward the little area she occupied with Lia, and a contraction ripped through her. It wasn't the first dream she'd had in the bank, but it was one of the most true to the events in the bank, and for that most frightening; she'd actually believed she was back there. Over the last two weeks she dreamt often that Greg couldn't get Casey breathing again, sometimes Mickey would shoot Lia, and other times, like tonight it was true to events, Mickey terrorizing them and the horror of delivering a child under those circumstances.
Like every night, she felt Matt's arm tighten around her after she'd jumped awake, and he pressed his body closer, silently letting her know he was there. At least tonight she hadn't started crying, as she had nearly every night the first week, that had been horrible. Now, her heart still pounding in her chest, turned over, now facing Matt, and rested her head against his chest. He kissed the top of her head, as she grabbed a fistful of his t-shirt in his hand, clinging to him. Their habit of sleeping pressed tightly against each other was proving very useful in both easing her out of her nightmares, and fitting them together on the hospital bed. Matt let his hand travel lightly up and down her back, as he whispered assurances in her ear, promising her again that her nightmares weren't real.
The first night she slept without the aid of a sedative had been the most difficult, and the nurses had insisted Matt sleep in the cot they brought in, not in their patients bed. When she jolted awake at two o'clock in the morning, heart monitor beeping insanely with the pulse of her heart, tears streaming from her eyes, and her whole frame trembling, they still didn't cave. They tried to help Matt ease her back to sleep, but she was so horrified at what she'd dreamt, Greg unable to resuscitate Casey, while Mickey screamed at her to stop crying, waving his gun around, threatening Lia, that she was unable to calm down with the unfamiliar faces around her. Matt took hold of her, rocking back and forth, whispering soothingly, promising her that it was over, and she eventually fell asleep in his arms. They'd allowed him to remain with her for the rest of the night, but gave him a hard time the next night, until she woke up hysterical again; it was then they gave in and let him share with bed with her.
But, tonight was their last night in the hospital, and not only was Emily contending with her dreams, but every fear a new mother has taking her baby home for the first time, aggravated by fears about her own stability. She'd had such a vivid dream last week, she'd insisted on calling Lia in the middle of the night to make sure she was really alive and okay. As it turned out, Lia was being kept up by her own dreams, and resisted calling Emily a few times too, just for reassurance. But, Emily was afraid that if she couldn't even get through one night without ending up desperately clinging to Matt, relying on his soothing voice to get her back to sleep, she wasn't exactly fit to be taking care of a newborn. As she listened to her husbands heart beat beneath her ear, she hoped this wouldn't prove to be the case. Casey hadn't been planned, but she was the only child Emily would ever have, and she loved her more than she could have imagined.
Across town, a few hours later, Trish was sitting in her classroom, her first day back since the traumatizing incident at the bank. She was nervous as hell, and unable to sleep had gotten in nearly an hour early. She'd spent part of the night on the phone again, willing away nightmares with the same comforting voice she'd relied on while trapped in the bank. Gus didn't grumble about the late night phone calls she made to him, when Mickey, his duo, his guns, and his threats plagued her dreams. He'd gone home, back to the deep south, where his wife maintained their home and raised their two children.
Gus told her constantly that they were his medicine; they were what kept him sane in the aftermath. The woman he was still hopelessly in love with, and who'd never stopped loving him, though he wasn't home with her as much as he knew he should be, was there to hold him after he woke up from hell. His young son and daughter, whom he considered the best thing he'd ever done, knew when he needed to smile, and never failed to get him to do so. Without them, he acknowledged, he'd probably be calling her in the middle of the night too, because who could understand his fears better than the woman who'd survived with him.
Trish had spoken to Dotty also, who was staying with one of her kids for a while, more frightened by the ordeal than she'd let on. It suited her son and daughter-in-law just fine, as they had a five year-old, almost three year-old, and brand new three month-old baby that needed constant attention. She was a much needed assistant, even if she did get a bit pushy at times. Ever the caring woman that she was, Dotty had made sure to get the FBI office address of the woman who'd given birth in the bank, and mailed her a card and a gift. She'd tried to get information on her, both to see if she was okay, and satisfy her own curiosity about her, but they wouldn't say much; they just acknowledged her name, and status as one of their employees, and said that mother and baby were healthy.
Trish had read about the woman, who'd unsurprisingly become the highlight of the bank ordeal, and saved them all being endlessly hounded by reporters. The articles never said more than she was in Mount Sinai recovering, as way her infant. They never quoted her, her family, friends or coworkers, and only had a generic statement from the FBI spokespeople. Trish simply left it at that though, she could understand wanting to be left alone after what they'd endured. The young teacher yawned just as her classroom door opened to admit the first of her pupils, who started a steady stream.
"Miss Hynes! You're back!" A little boy shouted gleefully.
"Miss Hynes we missed you!" The little girl beside him squealed at her.
"Yeah, we all made you cards!" Another little boy joined them. She met the three in front of the room as they were running in, and caught them in a hug.
"Oh, I missed you all too!" She smiled at them, happy and relaxed for the first time in weeks.
"Oh god Matt, we aren't even close to ready," Emily's stressed voice pointed out, as she signed her release forms and Matt signed Casey's. It was early afternoon, and she'd been stressing all morning.
"We have the essentials, Em, we'll be fine, and if you feel up to it, we can go shopping tomorrow or the day after and pick up whatever else we need." He rubbed her back, trying to sooth her sudden nerves.
"I don't know, I'm not ready." She felt ready to cry, and judging by Matt's worried expression, she looked it too.
"Hey, look at me." He tilted her face up from staring at her hands, waiting until she focused on him. "It's scary as hell, I'll admit, but we have to leave at some point. Everything is going to be fine, and Cheryl said she would stop by today and help us settle in. We can do this." His index finger twirled momentarily in her hair.
"Hello, look who's ready to go home. You have to ride out in this honey," the nurse announced, coming in with a wheelchair.
"I'm healed enough not to pull out stitches if I walk out." If she was going to believe that she was strong enough to handle Casey, nightmares and doubts, then she couldn't be using a wheelchair; it felt contradictory.
"Sorry, it's hospital policy. You get in the chair, or you don't get to leave." She lifted her shoulders, in a 'don't argue with me, it's not my rule' way, and brought the chair closer to her.
Emily sighed, and sat in the chair, Matt taking her hand in his, as they waited until a nurse came in with Casey. She was still in a plastic hospital bassinet, with a pink cap covering her head, and a white cotton onesie covering her body. Emily picked up the yellow lamb blanket, made lovingly thirty years ago, and held it open in her arms. Matt picked up out of the bassinet, and held her against his chest a moment, before laying her in Emily's waiting arms, where she wrapped the baby girl snuggly in the blanket. Casey hadn't fallen asleep after her morning feeding earlier, but her little eyelids were drooping, so she'd likely be asleep before they got home. The nurse grabbed the bags, so Matt could wheel his wife out to the car.
Emily held Casey in her arms as they drove, watching the infant's eyes grow heavy and droop, until they closed completely, and she sleep peacefully with the soothing rhythms of the moving car. Matt grabbed the bags, and then opened the door for Emily, and took a her hand to help her out. He wrapped his arm around her, and smiled at their sleeping daughter, as they made their way into their apartment. It was oddly quiet for a Saturday, if felt like their should have been children tugging their parents excitedly out the door. Matt turned his key in the door of number 408, and pulled it open, arm still around Emily.
Neither had touched anything as they walked in, but the lights suddenly came on, exposing all their friends and family, who stood quietly so as to not wake the baby. They stood in shock for several seconds, before either was able to form words, and then it was simply to see if he could still do it.
"Hi." Matt's blurted greeting got several snickers and giggles, clearly he wasn't prepared to come home to this.
Emily chose instead to examine the room more carefully. Their were pink balloons floating around everywhere, with 'Welcome Baby Girl' emblazoned on them, and a bright pink banner above the kitchen doorway proclaimed, 'Happy Baby Shower'. Well, that explained that. She looked around at all the faces, and would have sworn that everyone she knew crammed themselves into their tiny apartment, but most important her family, which included her closest friends were gathered right in the middle, smiling. Emily didn't cry easily, but her emotions hadn't been normal in months, so when a stray tear slipped from her eye, it wasn't much of a surprise.
"Congratulations, sweetheart." Bonnie Lehman wrapped her arms around her daughter, kissing her on the cheek, before hugging and kissing Matt.
"Thanks mom…this is surprisingly downplayed." Emily smiled, more surprised about that.
"Well, Lia, Cheryl, and your sisters were there to veto all my extravagant ideas, and we I didn't think you'd be up for too much excitement anyway." She smiled demurely, and backed away, allowing others to greet the couple.
After lots of hugs and kisses, they were finally ushered to the couch, for a breather before the rest of the festivities commenced. The party broke into small groups, who chatted together about this and that, and the couple finally got a good look at everyone who was there. The obvious ones: Emily's parents, Ellie, Maddie and her boyfriend, Nick (who looked a bit awkward among all the people he didn't really know), Frank, Cheryl, Lia, Duff, were closest to them. Tony, and Temple and Binder and their wives were gathered with a few other people from the CNU and HRT, there was a group of friends from other departments, and one with some non-FBI friends.
Casey interrupted the festivities, as she woke crying, demanding to be fed lunch; breakfast had been around seven.
Emily smiled, as she shifted the little girl in her arms, and Matt helped her up. "Excuse me for a bit." She wasn't accustomed to feeding Casey in front of this many people; Matt, her sisters, Cheryl, Lia, but not the sheer amount of people in that room, so she made her way to the bedroom. She stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of a white bassinet, sheer curtain flowing over it, and as she stepped closer she could see the delicate eyelet bedding. It was the same bassinet she'd seen in the store window with Lia, minutes before they went in the bank.
"We got the last one they had," Lia's voice startled her, and she turned around to face Lia and Cheryl.
"I can't believe you remembered this, after everything that happened afterwards." Emily commented in disbelief.
"I probably wouldn't have if I hadn't had to repeat every little detail of that day a dozen times."
Emily went over and hugged them both. "Thank you so much, it's beautiful."
"You're welcome." Lia smiled.
"Now you won't have to run back and forth to the nursery in the middle of the night." Cheryl pointed out.
Casey began to fuss again, reminding them that the only reason they were in that room was to feed her. Emily rubbed her back, and sat on the bed, unbuttoning her top, as Lia and Cheryl went to make their exit.
"Wait," she called to them, "stay and talk to me?" They retreated and parked themselves on the foot of the bed, as Emily pulled open the flap in her breast-feeding bra, and guided Casey to suckle.
"This bra is a godsend," she sighed, her friends laughing.
A short while later, a well fed and burped Casey was resting in her father's arms, when the party-planners decided it was time to feed everyone. Matt allowed Lia to take Casey into her arms, and the couple was ushered into their kitchen. Every once empty counter surface was covered with a large foil pan, sitting in a wire rack above lit cans of Sterno, to keep the food warm.
"That is a lot of food." Matt's eyes wandered around, stunned by the sheer amount of trays.
"Well, we have plenty of plastic containers to stow away the extras. We figured this would be better than trying to have any of us try and could you casseroles or whatever to stow away in your freezer." Cheryl smiled, it was well known that even the women in their group weren't much for cooking.
"I shoved some dishes in there anyway, you can never have too many prepared meals with a new baby in the house." Bonnie couldn't resist, it still her job to take care of her children.
"Thanks mom." Emily hugged her tightly, grateful already.
"Well, what are you waiting for, fill up some plates and get eating," Frank grinned at them, handing them Styrofoam plates.
They gathered with loaded plates, back in the living room, where Lia was sitting with Casey in her arms, watching her. The baby girl still seemed amazing to her, something of a miracle. She'd been inside that day, when she was born, and when she closed her eyes, she could still see Emily crying and screaming in pain, still watched Greg try and resuscitate the blue tinged infant, as if she were still there. She still remembered holding the tiny, skinny, shivering baby, as she washed the blood and amniotic fluid off her. Now to be holding that same fragile infant in her arms, who'd gained a pound and a quarter onto her frame, and didn't feel quite so fragile anymore, it seemed unbelievable to her. She held Casey until Bonnie finished eating, and asked to hold her granddaughter.
"You guys won't see her again until this party ends," Frank laughed, knowing that every woman in that room was going to want a turn with the baby, and he certainly would too.
"Well, while their hands are free, we should do presents," Ellie announced, getting up from her perch on a couch arm, and walking toward the nursery, Frank, Duff, and Nick in tow. They came out minutes later, arms laden with boxes wrapped in various pastel color prints, attracting the attention of the other partygoers, who gathered around.
Bonnie pulled a card out of her purse and handed it to Matt. He opened it to see a card covered in flowers with a few congratulatory words on the front, reading it with Emily leaning close. Inside were more words of congratulations, a small handwritten paragraph by Bonnie, and a $1000 savings bond.
"Whoa." Matt held the slip of paper, surprise written on his face.
"That will have grown much bigger by the time she's ready for college, and then she can have her pick of schools." Bonnie told him.
"Thanks very much. I was counting on her being as smart as her mom, and getting a scholarship to some Ivy league." He hugged Bonnie, and shook hands with Walter.
"Thanks mom, thanks dad," Emily smiled at Matt's comment, and hugged them both.
"Okay, now these are from me and Maddie," Ellie excitedly handed her a stack a slim clothing boxes. In only two weeks the two women had gone all out on baby clothing, deciding until they had their own children, their niece would be the best dressed baby in LA.
Matt and Emily took their time prying the wrapping off the carefully, and tightly wrapped packages, pulling off the lids, and shifting through the tissue paper. The first box, which Emily opened was filled with tiny dresses: two pink, two purple, one yellow and one blue, two of which came with matching hats. The second, which Matt opened was stocked with two pairs of pants, four shirts, a sweatshirt and a sweater, all in varying colors, which of course form various matching outfits. A third box had several pairs of frilly socks, and a few sets of footie pajamas. And lastly, they handed the couple a bag with three pairs of shoes: tiny pink Sketchers sneakers, a pair of white sandals, and shiny black Mary Janes. By the time they'd finished opening the packages, Emily was holding a pair of shoes in each hand, with clothes strewn upon her lap, at a loss, and Matt was just staring at all the clothing, suddenly fearful of his daughter becoming a teenager.
"So, we went a little crazy, but our first niece deserves to be spoiled rotten." Maddie grinned.
"A little crazy? You know she won't fit into any of this for very long, right?" Emily wondered.
"Yes, most of it will be a little big for her now, the shoes definitely will be too big for a few months, since she won't need them for a while, but we made sure you'd get some use out of all of it."
"Besides, you know every time we see baby clothes now, we'll have to get something," Ellie assured them.
After hugs, kisses and thank you's, they continued on with the rest of the presents. Most people bought clothes or toys, which were added to the rapidly growing stack. One of their female friends in another department at the bureau got a breast pump, a device that had completely horrified Emily, three months ago when she was first introduced to it. Now, she excepted it gratefully. They also received two pacifiers, a teething ring, a little tube of Orajel, teething painkillers, bottles, a tiny infant silverware set, bibs, wipes, diaper rash cream, and baby powder.
Temple and his wife gave them a blue and white high chair, Binder and his wife gave them a red stroller, and Tony gave them a complete baby monitor system, which included the standard baby monitor system, and a new bed pad designed to protect against SIDS. It got placed under the sheet in the crib, and connected to a box that monitored the baby's heart and breathing. It wasn't like what you'd find in a hospital, but if either stopped an alarm would sound.
When they finally thought they were done, and were resting the monitors off to the side, they looked up to see Frank coming at them with what appeared to be a four tiered cake made of diapers.
"Now, I'm still not sure exactly what the hell this is supposed to be, but according to the lady in the store, it's an important baby shower gift."
"And this box goes with it," Duff eagerly handed over another slim clothing box, as Matt received the large diaper display and set it off with the other gifts, a little overwhelmed at the idea of so many diapers.
"Oh god," Emily snickered as she pulled a yellow onesie from the box, and showed it to Matt.
"My Uncle Kicks Butt," he read, laughing and looking up at two HRT men with huge smiles on their faces.
"Oh there's more," Emily pulled his attention back. "When Mom and Dad made me they were just showing off."
Matt nodded, "Best work we ever did."
Emily pulled the next one out, and arching and eyebrow and smirking as she handed it to Matt, who started cracking up.
"Real nice," he managed to stutter out, holding up the onesie for all to read, eliciting giggles from the crowd; it read, 'I'm like mom, I don't shut up'.
"In honor of the struggles you put up against sending us in against the HTs, and you know, considering your job." Frank laughed at her annoyance that was clearly part amusement. "She'll get the next one from you too."
Emily's eyebrow went up again, wondering what they could have found, as she turned her attention back to the box, pulling out a fourth onesie. Her smile softened, and she held it up for everyone to see, this time earning awe's. 'Brainy and Beautiful.'
"That last one in there, we had to get specially printed, they don't make them off the rack in that particular kind."
Emily laughed pulling it out, "I wonder why." She held it up to Matt, "Future Crisis Negotiator." The onsie was white with a badge, handcuffs, and appropriately, by the direction of Frank and Duff, a cell phone.
"Very cute, but she's got a while to go." Matt did not like the thought of his daughter touching guns or talking to psychos, even if her mother would scold him for such sexist thoughts.
"I don't know, I think we should get a bet going, who thinks Casey is going to inherit her parent's talent and become the most prized negotiator of the Bureau?" Duff teased, waving his hand in the air.
Casey chose that moment to start wailing, tired of being passed around the party, having made the rounds to all the women, and of course her uncles.
"She doesn't seem to like that idea, Duff," Cheryl mused, watching Emily take her from Nick. Sensing she was finally back in her mother's arms, Casey began to quiet down, slipping her thumb in her mouth.
"She can be anything she wants to be, well almost anything." Matt corrected himself.
"Why almost?" Emily turned to him.
"There are certain jobs I rather she not pursue." God, he sensed an argument coming.
"Like what?" She was giving him an almost annoyed look, sensing which jobs he was referring to.
"Like…a prison guard." It took him a minute, but he didn't think Emily could argue with that.
"Or a cop, fed, or anything dangerous right?" She challenged.
"Oh come, you can't tell me, you like the thought of her in anything dangerous either."
"No, I don't, but it will be her decision. Besides, I do it, regardless of how overprotective you're feeling, and you don't try and stop me." How could they tell their daughter she can't do something, when both her parents do it?
"That's because it would take all ten plagues, plus a nuclear disaster to stop you," he shot back. Their entire focus was on each other now, as they bantered back and forth, lost in their discussion. They were pulled out by the laughter at Matt's comment, many people nodding in agreement.
Emily raised an eyebrow, biting her lip to stifle a grin, "who says she won't be just as stubborn?"
"Than God help Matt," Frank commented, sending the shower attendees into laughter again.
"Ooh!" Lia suddenly jumped up. "The cake, I almost forgot we have the cake."
"How about you guys move all this to the nursery, and we'll bring out the cake." Cheryl instructed Frank, Duff, Nick, Ellie and Maddie, and she followed Lia toward the kitchen. They returned to a cleared living room, with a quarter sheet cake with pink frosting and white lettering: Casey Alexandra Flannery; May 21, 2009.
"Here Matt, why don't you cut it?" Lia handed him the knife, allowing him to make the first slice, which he passed to Emily, with a fork. She maneuvered her arms somewhat awkwardly, trying to not jolt Casey, who was sleeping on her chest, supported by the arm holding the cake dish. Matt cut another for himself, and then Lia took the knife back and began cutting slices for everyone else.
"Oooh…that is so good," Emily commented, thoroughly enjoying the chocolate cake.
The party lasted another couple hours, when people began straggling out, leaving only those closest to the couple still in the apartment. Emily parents hugged and kissed them goodbye, making their way out the door, with a promise to visit again during the coming week, and shortly after Maddie and her boyfriend left for his hotel. Half of their company was in the kitchen cleaning up after lunch and cake, stowing the leftovers in the refrigerator.
Matt still sat on the couch, arm wrapped around Emily, who leaned against him, head resting on his chest. Casey was still sleeping peacefully on her chest, and Emily's drooping eyes were a pretty good indication she was about to join her. Matt was talking to Lia and Frank, as he felt Emily's breathing even out, and looked over to see her fast asleep. Cheryl, Ellie, Duff and Nick chose that moment to enter the living, laughing about something, likely the large amount of water covering all of them.
Cheryl saw Emily first, and turned to her partner's in crime, finger in her lips, other hand pointing to the reason.
"What the hell did you all do in there?" Frank asked quietly, gesturing to their wet clothing.
"Water fight, Cheryl and Ellie started it," Duff answered, holding up his hands defensively, while the guilty parties shrugged.
Ellie was the first to go over and kiss Matt on the cheek, saying goodbye. "Promise you'll call if you need anything?"
"Of course," he smiled. She went over and dragged Frank off the chair he'd been sitting in, and toward the door, an action that no longer seemed surprising or odd to the group. Slowly they all made their way out the door, leaving Matt alone with the two most important people in his life passed out beside him. He placed a kiss on top of Emily's head, and grabbed the remote, flicking the TV on. He didn't want to wake her yet, but sit for a minute, and enjoy his very changed life peacefully for a while. At that moment, he was the happiest guy in the world, and feeling pretty damned lucky too.
Okay, this is finally the end. As long as it was, this one went pretty fast for me, so I hope you all enjoyed reading it, as much as I enjoyed writing it. And, Keavy, if you still feel like you need an epilogue, let me know, I can probably come up with something. Thank you all for reading, and sticking with this through the sometimes sporadic updates, and long length. I would really appreciate feedback on the story as a whole, so please, please, please review it!
FYI: As for the SIDS monitor thing, I read about it somewhere, but can't remember where, but that was a while back, so evidently it couldn't have been too successful.