Chapter 20

Coffee First

I don't know if the pain or the snoring woke me first, but when I woke I was disoriented for some time. I couldn't remember where I was. I didn't know why my left arm was searing with pain. And for the life of me, I couldn't place where that obnoxious snoring was coming from, because I knew it wasn't me.

I rolled on to my back and looked to my right. I was met with a head of sandy hair speckled with gray.

Slowly the events of the previous night began to come back to me. Harry and Jonathan had gone to the Ministry to fight Death Eaters. I had dueled Dolohov, which explained why my shoulder was hurting. And Remus had told me that Sirius… My throat constricted suddenly.

The snoring stopped as he rolled onto his back. The sheets shifted a little exposing a scared and bare chest. I noticed something was off about my clothes too. Remus' eyes were still closed so I took a quick peek to confirm my suspicions.

Yup. Neither of us were wearing any clothes. The rest of the night flooded my mind. Every look, every touch, every…

"Do you mind? You're letting in a draft."

I dropped the sheet, cheeks flaming red. I couldn't bring myself to meet his gaze. So I covered my face with my hand. What did we do?

"Well…first we kissed a little, then we…"

"Stop!" I cut him off. I hadn't realized I'd spoken aloud and now I was even more mortified. "I know what we did, Remus. But… Merlin, what did we do?"

This wasn't happening. Please tell me this wasn't happening. I'm not this type of person. I'm not the sort to casually "hook-up" with my ex…especially when he's likely shagging another girl. I was weak. I was weak and vulnerable, and I needed comfort. That's all. It didn't have to mean anything more than that…

But Merlin! I wanted it to mean so much more.

I sat up and pulled the sheet tight around my body to cover up.

"Oi!" Remus gasped at the sudden departure of sheet.

"Oi yourself," I groaned and grabbed my arm. Every tiny movement of my shoulder sent a flare of pain through my whole arm.

"Where's your tonic?"

"In the lounge," I groaned.

"I'll go get it for you."

"No!" I shouted. The last thing I needed was his beautifully naked body walking around. "You stay…I'll..."

"Mum?"

My whole body froze. Even Remus had the decency to look horror-struck.

"All right, Mum?" Jonathan asked, but I was too paralyzed to speak. "I… I'm coming in."

The knob on the door turned slightly, jarring me from my shock.

"NO!" I threw out my arm as though that would stop him.

"Mum?"

"I…I'm all right. I… I'm just… not decent." I grimaced and I could feel Remus' eyes boring a hole in the side of my face.

"Just… Just stay there. I'll be out…" I began looking around for my wand. "…in a moment."

Finding my wand at last I scrambled for it, upsetting my arm severely and pulling the sheets off of Remus even more. I waved it at the door, quickly closing it and casting a silencing spell over it. Then I swore…loudly…because, I swear, it felt like my arm was falling off, Jonathan was standing just outside the door, and Good Merlin! Remus was still sitting naked on my bed, all calm and collected while I was freaking out.

"Where are my clothes?" I mumbled in panic as I frantically searched the floor around me.

"Well I, for one, think that you have on a very lovely toga dress."

"This is not the time to be smart, Remus," I hissed, scooping up my knickers.

I shimmied into them, rather painfully thanks to my arm, before stepping into my pants. The bra was exponentially more difficult, and I pulled the shirt on as quickly as I could.

"Umm…Kate, that's…"

"No!" I waved my wand and cast him in silence too. "I don't have time for your smart mouth right now. Just stay here and keep quiet. I'll get rid of him as fast as I can. And for good heavens, please, put some clothes on."

Satisfied with my state at last, I stepped through the smallest hole possible and closed the door behind me. Jonathan was standing in the middle of the room with his back towards my door. He turned around the moment the door clicked shut behind me. He eyed me curiously and I did my best at an innocent smile.

"Nice hair," he said at last.

I combed a hand through my hair, or tried to at least. It was a mass of knots and tangles. Looked like it was going to be an up-do day.

"Oh shut it, and come here."

I grabbed his shoulder and pulled him over to the counter with me. I waved my wand to begin making a cup of coffee before handing him a vial of pain tonic—priorities.

"Here, open this please."

He pulled the stopper out with a pop. I downed it and chased it with a hearty gulp of coffee. Almost immediately I could feel the numbing sensation take over my arm and free me of the pain. I took another, slower sip of coffee.

"There, that's better. Now, what can I do for you, Jonathan?"

He looked at me warily before shaking his head slightly.

"Do you know where Dad is?" he asked. "I was hoping to talk to the both of you."

"Your father? No. Why would I know where he is? No. I haven't seen him. No. Sorry."

"Really…?"

"Yes, really."

"…because Madame Pomfrey said he was with you."

"She did? Well I don't know why she would say that. When did she tell you that?"

"Just a moment ago. I went by the hospital wing because I thought you might be there. But she said you'd come here and that Dad left with you."

"Right…" Crap! Now what? "Right…Right, he did. Yeah…He… He walked me back here, and then he…left. He just left."

"He…left? Well, where did he go?"

"I don't know. You know what! Why don't you go down to breakfast in the Great Hall, and I'll see about tracking him down for you. Yeah? Brilliant. Let's go!"

I tried to steer him towards the door, but he was stubborn and wouldn't move easily.

"Mum, are you all right? You're acting a bit mental."

"You know, I could go for some breakfast too. Let's go together."

"What about Dad?"

"He's…."

"I'm right here, Jonathan," Remus said as he stepped out of the bedroom.

Jonathan whipped around so fast he almost knocked me off balance. Remus was leaning on the door frame, a smirk on his lips, and arms crossed over his bare chest. I suppose I should be happy he put pants on at least.

"Dad? What are you doing in Mum's bedroom?"

"And why aren't you wearing your shirt?" I asked, pinching the bridge of my nose.

Remus looked at me incredulously. "Because…you're wearing it."

I looked down at the shirt I was wearing with wide eyes. Sure enough, it was his. I'd been in such a hurry to get dressed I wasn't paying attention to what I was putting on. Jonathan looked between the two of us, his eyes growing wide with realization.

"Oh…" Then he crinkled his nose a bit as that realization took full affect. "Oh."

"Way to go, Remus. Now you've traumatized the boy."

"Honestly, Kate, I think your atrocious lying skills were traumatizing him more. It's a wonder James didn't figure us out."

"James was a daft idiot half the time. He couldn't recognize love unless it smacked him in the face and called him an arrogant toerag."

Silence filled the room for a moment. I'd used the "L-Word." I couldn't decipher the expression on Remus' face.

"So…" Jonathan began tentatively. "Does this mean you're back together?"

"Yes."

"No."

We answered at the same time and then just stared at each other. We couldn't believe the other had answered the way they did.

"Uhmmmm… You two might want to work on that," Jonathan said.

Remus sighed and moved away from the door frame. "There's a lot we need to work on. But you wanted to talk to the two of us?"

"Yeah… It's about last night?"

"Hang on," I said before quickly swallowing the last of my coffee. "I need another cup if we're going to discuss last night. You, Remus?"

"I could go for one, sure."

"I don't know how you guys drink that stuff," Jonathan said. He's always been strictly a tea-guy.

"I blame your father."

"Me? Why me?"

"Well… your mother, really." I handed him his cup. "I'd never had a cup until she introduced me to it that one summer, and now… I can't function in the morning without it."

I fixed Jonathan a cup of tea next and the three of us sat on the couch together. Jonathan was sandwiched between us.

"So, what about last night did you want to talk about?" I asked.

Jonathan did not answer immediately, and neither did he drink his tea. I looked over at Remus. I could see he was thinking the same thing I was: this was serious. We both set our coffees down on the table before us.

"I guess…I feel like I should have tried to stop him."

"Who? Harry?" I asked.

"Yeah. I mean, I did try, but I should have tried harder. If we had just stayed here then no one would have gotten hurt…and no one would have died."

My throat tightened again at the thought of Sirius.

"Harry is very headstrong, Jonathan. I'm sure there was little anyone could have done," Remus said.

"James was the same way," I added. "Lily too. There were very few people who could stop James when he had his mind set. Euphemia, Sirius, and eventually Lily gained some control."

"But if he felt his family was threatened, then all bets were off."

"Your father and I are the same way."

"So you're not mad that we went?"

"Mad? No," Remus said.

"Do we wish that there had never been a reason for you to go? Yeah," I said.

"Are we glad that even though you went you fought bravely? Absolutely."

"Do we wish that you all had left when we told you to? Of course."

"Are we surprised that you didn't leave and, in fact, stayed to fight?" Remus asked, looking at me.

I sighed. "No," I admitted grudgingly. "Look, we're you're parents, Jonathan. We love you and we want to keep you safe, but the truth of the matter is: had you acted any differently…"

"…then you wouldn't be our Son," Remus finished.

Jonathan nodded, but I could tell there was still something bothering him.

"What else is on your mind?"

"He… he knows, doesn't he? Dolohov. He knows about you."

I nodded slowly this time. "Yeah, he figured it out."

"Because of me?"

"No!" I said quickly. "No, because of me. Because I dueled him."

"Yeah, but…how? How did he figure it out from that?"

"Well… When I managed to escape him, back in sixth year, it was with the help of my mother. He cast the killing curse at me, but she stepped in front of it. She sacrificed her life for mine. Her sacrifice created this protection spell over me."

"Like Lily's did for Harry?" he asked.

"Yes, a lot like that actually. However, Voldemort wasn't able to harm Harry at all. It's a little different for me. Because I'm as much his daughter as I was my mother's, Dolohov can't hurt me without causing the same harm to himself. So last night, when his spell hit my shoulder, it caused an identical wound to his shoulder. That's how he figured out who I was."

"So then it is my…"

"No!" I cut him off quickly. "It could have been any one of you up there dueling him and I would have done the same thing."

Jonathan nodded and turned towards Remus next.

"And he knows you're my Dad."

"Well… it's no surprise that we have similar features."

"Similar features," I muttered. "You could be brothers."

"Annnnd," he continued with a pointed look and a slight smirk my way. "He knew your mother and I were dating back then."

"Of course he was quite disappointed to discover that not only was his Muggle-loving daughter still alive, but also dating a half-blood who's Mum was a Muggle. Oh, the scandal."

"So he didn't know about the wolf back then?" Jonathan asked.

"No, but thanks to a sniveling snake, now he does."

"So, by default he now knows that I'm the son of a werewolf?"

"Yes, you are the son of a werewolf and a crazy star fanatic who never learned to view Muggles as being less than herself. You are also the greatest thing to ever happen to either of us, and there is nothing, I repeat, nothing we would change about you."

Jonathan, sensing that the conversation was becoming a little too serious, smirked and said. "You're such a Mum sometimes."

"And damn proud to be yours." I ruffled his hair and gave him a very wet, mother kiss to his forehead.

"Mummm," he whined as he pulled away and rubbed his sleeve over his head. Remus chuckled.

I leaned forward to reach for my coffee, but I grimaced and grabbed my arm instead.

"Is it hurting again already? Did you take your tonic?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, I took it. It's not so much painful as it is just…uncomfortable. I think I need my sling."

"You mean the sling that Madame Pomfrey told you to wear at all times so as to not cause further damage to your arm?"

"No. The sling I'm going to whack you upside the head with if you don't shut it."

I stood up and began heading towards my bedroom. Remus called after me.

"While you're in there, how about you give me back my shirt?"

"Why don't you come get it yourself?" I responded automatically. It took a moment for those words to fully process in my head. And when they did, I froze.

"Muuuummmm! I'm still in here, you know."

"I think there's something funny in that tonic, or maybe it just doesn't mix well with coffee."

Thankfully, Remus spared me more embarrassment by not saying anything and by not following me. I did change shirts and slip into my sling, but then I tried to tame my hair too. Brushing it with one hand while it was as matted as it was, did not work. I had to resort to charming it into a messy bun. Once that was sorted, I returned to the lounge where Remus and Jonathan were still talking, and tossed Remus his shirt. No sooner had Remus finished pulling it on and there was knock at my door.

I slipped on the illusion before opening the door. Not everyone at Hogwarts knew me as Kate, and they might question a strange woman in Professor Porter's chambers. Although, not everyone knew where Professor Porter's chambers were either.

"Harry," I greeted with a small smile, before I opened the door wider for him to enter and let the illusion fall once more.

He looked around and nodded at Remus and Jonathan, but he didn't say anything. When he looked back at me, I saw the pain in my heart reflected in his eyes.

"Oh, Harry," I choked out. I pulled him close with one arm and hugged him. Then I kissed the top of his head. He hugged me back with fervor.

"Sirius…" he choked.

"I know. I know, but he'll never leave us for good. He's far too stubborn for that." We pulled apart a little. "This summer we'll do something for him, alright." I brushed my hand through his hair. "I don't know where, or when, or how, but… we will do something."

Harry nodded and I discreetly rubbed my thumb over his cheek, wiping away a tear. His eyes seemed to zero in on my shoulder and he nodded his head towards it.

"You're hurt."

"It's nothing," I said with a shake of my head. "It's nothing you should worry about."

"Who did it?"

"I said don't worry about it."

"It was Dolohov," Jonathan said. He stood up and walked over. "Dolohov did it, and now he knows who she is."

They both cast me a look; the familiarity of it made me smile. I looked over at Remus and saw him smile too.

"We haven't eaten yet, Harry. Would you like to join us?" I asked.

"No thanks. I don't really feel like eating."

"I know…which is precisely why you should, and I won't take no for an answer."

Harry smiled slightly, and nodded. "Alright then. How do you get the food here?"

I looked towards Remus with a grin and called, "Binky!"

A moment later there was a pop as the old house-elf Binky appeared in my living lounge. She was much the same as when I first met her. She was wearing the traditional Hogwarts robe, her ears were long and floppy, and her eyes were wide with wonder. She looked up at me and those eyes suddenly filled with watery tears, and she smiled.

"Oh! Mistress Potter! Binky is so pleased to see you again."

"Thanks; yours is always a lovely face to see too. Oh, and I have a guest you might be interested in seeing." I pointed behind her to where Remus sat. It only took her a second to recognize him.

"Master Lupin!" she squeaked in a loud, joyful tone. Remus chuckled and held out his hands as she waddled over to him. She bowed low and kissed his hands numerous times, little squeaks of laughter trickling out every so often. Jonathan and Harry looked on in amusement.

"Oh, Master Lupin, you is as handsome as ever," she said.

"Thank you, Binky. And you are as gracious, and generous as I remember."

"Oh, Master Lupin is too kind to dear old Binky. You is too kind."

"And as usual, I am nothing when Master Lupin is around," I muttered for the boys alone. "You see, all the boys had their own…special house-elf."

"Don't tell Hermione," Harry said. "She'll go into a rant about elf rights and ask you to join Spew."

"She's already tried. I turned her down, and I still don't think she's forgiven me for that. Anyways," I turned my attention back to Remus. "Master Lupin, if you don't mind…"

He looked up and smirked. "Ah, yes. Sorry. Binky, if you could be so kind as to bring us a breakfast for four, we would appreciate it."

"Of course. Of course. Binky is happy to serve Master Lupin again. Binky shall bring you a grand breakfast, Sir."

And with another pop, Binky disappeared.