Sorry! After promising to update ASAP, I didn't obviously, terribly sorry for that!
I know I left it on a horrible cliff hanger too so apologies!
I am now on a 3 or 4 week break from Uni so have all the time in the world to write.
Thank you all so much for your continued support and reviews
Disclaimer: I do not own SVU or any of its characters, nor am I making a profit from this work.
Please leave a review at the end!
Enjoy
Minutes went by in a flash, as an ambulance was called and tears were shed. Amanda had always known her daughter was a fighter, and this case she had pulled through with a weak pulse and many battle wounds.
Eventually, paramedics came rushing in and set about checking Meredith who was still out cold.
It was better that way.
Amanda couldn't help but blame herself. If only she'd come home. If only she'd called, checked on her daughter. She knew she couldn't change that, but god it killed her.
The thought that she'd ultimately taken Meredith for granted haunted her mind as she watched helplessly.
She felt a hand rest on her shoulder and she lifted her head to see Liv who gave her a sad smile.
As the paramedics lifted Meredith onto the gurney, Amanda moved forward, blinking back tears.
In the state she was in, her daughter looked seemingly peaceful and Amanda only hoped she was in such a place.
x
The ride to the hospital was quiet, with the only noise being the blaring sirens and the occasional mutter of the woman charting Meredith's vitals.
It wasn't good obviously, what he'd done with her and Amanda found herself dreading the moment her daughter would wake up and have to face all this. They could only learn so much from her injuries without her telling the story and Amanda kept her shaking hands clasped together as she tried not to think about it.
How the hell were they meant to survive this, how was it fair?
As soon as they arrived at Mercy General hospital Meredith was wheeled inside, met with a team of doctors who assessed her injuries, reeling off each prominent one as if it were nothing.
Struggling to contain her composure, Amanda spun round, desperately searching for any sight of any of her co workers. She instead, was met with a nurse, who had red hair and looked about her age.
"Can I get you a coffee?" She asked and Amanda just about laughed.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" She yelled, all efforts to contain herself leaving her mind. The nurse stepped back and Amanda went to yell again before she was met with a hand on her shoulder, holding her in place.
"No I don't want a coffee." She sniffed, with an apologetic smile. The nurse gave a quick nod before scurrying away back to the safety of her desk.
She turned to face Nick, and promptly broke down into tears.
"I can't lose her, I can't." She murmured into his shoulder and he rubbed her back.
"I know 'Manda, but she'll pull through, it'll be okay."
Without giving any thought to what he'd said, Amanda glanced up and over to where the doctors had been with Meredith.
They were no longer there and she cursed, in her moment with the nurse she'd lost her.
"Shit." She breathed, before hurrying in the direction of one of the trauma rooms, peering in the window to find it empty. Moving to the next one, she finally caught sight of the paramedic who'd been in the ambulance with them.
Without giving it much thought, she moved to the door, shoving it open and stepping into the room.
"Meredith." She barely whispered as she saw a glimpse of her daughters bleeding face.
"Ma'am you can't be in here." A surgeon in scrubs looked up and said in a grim voice.
"Just, is she okay."
"We have to take her up to the OR. One of us will come down and update you when we know what's going on. I suggest you take a seat in the waiting room."
Amanda couldn't speak and she didn't want to think. All she wanted to do in the current moment was have a drink, or several. But she couldn't. Her daughter needed her to be strong and that's what she'd do. Put up her walls, put on a brave face and wait it out.
She was moved to the side as they wheeled her daughter back out of the room and toward the elevator. Her daughter's eyelids were fluttering as she passed and Amanda was stopped from jumping forward to catch hold of her hand. Soon she was left standing alone in the room and after a moment, she numbly moved back out to where Nick was standing.
X
The next few hours were agony and Amanda hadn't stopped pacing for a moment, even when the rest of the team had shown up. Nothing they'd tried to say had gotten through to her and eventually they'd stopped trying. Nick however, hadn't taken his eyes off her, watching her sadly.
A scrub nurse had come out after an hour of them taking Meredith and had explained that they were trying to control some internal bleeding, as well as taking care of the multitude of cuts and burns that littered her skin. She finished by saying that she thought her daughter was lucky, considering the state of her injuries.
Amanda didn't think she was lucky at all. There was no point saying anything though, it wouldn't help anyone.
The need to cry and scream was welling up inside her and she was nearly at breaking point when Nick stepped forward and blocked her path.
"Stop, Amanda." He said softly and she narrowed her eyes at him.
"Get out of the way." She growled back, fighting the urge to simply fall into his arms, and the thought was comforting.
"Amanda." He repeated, his voice dripping in love and concern and after a moment, she simply sat down, right there in the middle of the floor. He sank with her, ignoring the stares of the others.
"If only I…" She started before he cut her off.
"You can't do that to yourself." She gave a shaky sigh before nodding.
It was then that the same nurse appeared in the door way and Amanda only noticed her when the others stood from their seats and she did so. Stepping forward toward her, light headed.
"Meredith's out of surgery and has been transferred to the ICU. The surgeon's managed to stop the bleeding. She lost a lot of blood thought and she's still out of it, but should wake up soon if you want me to take you to her."
Breathing a sigh of relief, Amanda hadn't really heard what she'd said but gave a nod. "Thank you."
The nurse gave a smile and Amanda almost hugged her, until she spoke again. "She really is lucky. It could have been a lot worse."
"Lucky? How is my daughter lucky? Is this not worse enough? She almost died, and you call her lucky?" The anger she'd felt minutes ago was back and there was no stopping herself now.
It was Liv that did so however, and brought her back to her senses.
"Go be with your daughter, Amanda. That's all that matters, yeah?" She patted her shoulder and waited till the blonde detective acknowledged her before stepping back and waiting as the now nervous looking nurse led her away from them
x
It was nearly empty in the ICU and Meredith was in a corner by herself when they arrived. The dark haired nurse left quickly once Amanda had settled in a seat next to the bed.
Taking care of the wires and tubes sticking out of her daughter, she took a soft hold of her daughter's hand. She sat in silence for a while, the only noise the steady beep of Meredith's heartbeat.
She was alive. Lucky even. Lucky.
Fucking stupid really.
"God I'm sorry Mere. I'm so sorry." She had no idea what to say, nothing she could think of seemed right, worthy enough.
It was 40 minutes or so later when Meredith's finger twitched and Amanda's head shot up from where she'd been resting it. Noticing her eyes scrunch up, she stood and pressed the emergency button for the nurse.
"Mere, baby. It's okay, you're okay." She murmured in hopes of comforting her.
Without opening her eyes, Meredith squeezed her hand and mumbled something that sounded like "I love you".
Before Amanda could say anything back, a nurse was at the bedside, checking the heart monitor and talking to Amanda, mentioning something about her blood pressure still being low.
"I'll give her something for the pain and her surgeon will come by shortly to check on her."
Amanda nodded and gave a grateful smile. It quickly fell when she left and Meredith opened her eyes. There was something different about her and Amanda knew that would never leave her.
Her daughter didn't speak and that's what scared Amanda the most, she didn't say anything and she had an empty look to her, like she wasn't even there.
The surgeon who introduced himself as Dr. Taylor checked her vitals as the nurse had done and then asked Meredith a few questions, or tried to anyway.
"Are you in any pain?", "What day is it?". "Can you tell me your name?", " I need to check your surgical wound".
That was when she finally made a noise and it was god awful scream that shook Amanda to her core as Dr. Taylor moved the blanket in order to check the angry looking sight of her stomach.
He backed off quickly and even so, she didn't stop and crying, Amanda tried to comfort her. But this time, even her own mother couldn't do so and through tears and screams, Meredith pushed her away, and scrambled backward into a huddled ball at the edge of her bed.
"I'll need to sedate her. She'll end up ripping her stitches." Dr. Taylor spoke gravely, and sighed, realising he was perhaps fighting a losing battle.
As he rounded the bed and went to get near her, Meredith didn't want to know about it and clawed and kicked out, even when more doctors and nurses ran over and Amanda was pushed out of the away as the crowded round her.
Crying and absolutely helpless, Amanda watched as one of them expertly grabbed at her leg when she kicked and after a moment they were holding her screaming daughter down, and Dr. Taylor quickly jabbed her with the needle he was holding.
Eventually they released her from their hold and they all moved back. Dr. Taylor looked at Amanda and guided her back to the seat before pulling one up for himself.
"Well it looks like her emotional damage is far worse than her physical. I'll page psych for a consult as soon as possible. This isn't going to be an easy fix."
Insensitive bastard. Did he know he was talking about her daughter? Or did he just not care?
Either way Amanda knew what he said was true. This time it was a completely different story and at this point Amanda didn't have a clue on what to do. That terrified her and she looked at her daughter, who now sedated was simply staring at the ceiling, numb and completely broken.
It was now, that Amanda really needed a drink.
But what she needed even more than that, was her daughter.
Okay guys, hope you liked it! Of course I could never kill Meredith! But yeah, it's a long road to recovery for both of them now.
I have a question for you guys - How much longer do you want me to make this? I have a new found inspiration to write it, but don't want to write stuff you don't want to read...
Also hit me up with any requests that I'll try fit in :)
Let me know in a review!
Thanks,
Liv