Chapter XV: A child's play
Disclaimer: Not mine and I make no profit.
What is it like to not know why you are doing something? That experience is unique for everyone and most people experience it at least once. Not in the sense that they are not thinking what they are doing, but that they try and try and still can make no sense of their motives.
Cloud was reading a book Jessie had handed over to him. She had been in Millettiae to sell soap, one of their new sources of income, and come back with a crate of books, explaining that the owner of the bookshop had suffered pipe saxifrage and had offered the spoiled but still readable books one gil a crate. Among the books had been one written by Bugenhagen, which had been the reason Cloud had claimed it. It was a rather obscure text of what archaeologists had found out of the Cetra culture and religion by translating their hieroglyphs of the Ancient City's temple walls.
The Tree of Life, manifestation of Gaia's body, consisted of ten Sephiroths, the ten attributes that Gaia created through which she can manifest not only in the physical but the metaphysical universe, ten being the number of divine perfection. At their fundamental level, the ten Sephiroths were a step-by-step process illuminating the Divine plan as it unfolds itself within Gaia's sacred body. It was a completely abstract notion, an unrelated little tidbit. Cloud read it over and over again, without any idea why he did so.
Except he did. He wondered who had named General Sephiroth and why the man went by no surname. That was the part he didn't understand. For Cloud Strife not understanding his motives was an old book with blotchy pages and one night's worth of lost sleep.
Cloud was technically two years too old for the tour, President Shin-Ra or maybe Tseng having decided that thirteen was still a cute child, but fourteen was a teenager and thus a possible angsty terrorist. They had played every trick in the book to make him look younger, beginning with pigtails, going through careful make-up job to soften his features, using soft woolen gloves to cover his hands which looked much too hard for a young girl and ending with a backpack shaped like a bunny rabbit, a pink one much to Cloud's disgust. He had made his father promise to confiscate and destroy all evidence Hákon and Sears collected of Lil' Rain, namely the pictures.
The so-called Founder's Day Demonstration was actually to be held two day after the Founder's Day due to Shin-Ra not giving permission for public holidays, and there were cameras everywhere to catch cute children and the program would come out at the same time the demonstration would take place.
Children or no, Cloud mused wryly, Shin-Ra wasn't taking chances. Just inside the gate, in front of which parents in cheap, mass produced clothes waited for the next tour group and trying to curb the enthusiasm of their children, was the first attraction; a group of detection dogs with their blue-clad handlers. Dark brown, long rough-coated, sturdy Northern Shepherd dogs with the black mask and broad chest, firm-looking Mideel Pincers with short hair and cropped ears and a few attractive-looking Highlands Foxhouds with wavy golden-tawny coat and elegant build, all bearing the hugging and tugging they were subjected to with good grace and dignity. It looked very idyllic.
It also looked like they were there as a security measure to his eyes.
"I think they are here to detect any bombs should someone be low enough to send a child in with one," Donna whispered, a frown on her face. They were in the line, but she had knelt down pretending to retie his shoelaces, her face down, and the noise was very concealing.
"What I worry about is whether they are also trained to smell blood," Cloud whispered back. Or rather, whether they were trained to react to the smell. The weight of the one litre plastic bottle on his backpack suddenly felt heavier, dragging his shoulders back until it must have seemed like he was imitating the guards, standing in attention.
"Do you think we should call this off?" Donna asked and stood up again, lifting her hand to ruffle his hair until she remembered it was on pigtails now and partially covered by a faded red beret. He shook his head. This was important and while being caught with a bottle of cow blood could be considered suspicious it wasn't an illegal substance.
Besides, while it was something he would never have admitted, he didn't really expect to get out from there without getting caught. Those accursed shared dreams had probably seen to that and it wasn't like he could have told anyone of those now. Still, in a way the mission would ne accomplished all he same; his arrest and the subsequent rescue by father, not to mention what just might happen to Hojo should the cells be conveniently near the laboratories, would see to it that the Turks were distracted indeed. Maybe he could be Fabales number two. And, while he knew it was probably a sign of temporary insanity and a reason to go to mother and ask for happy blue pills the thought of Sephiroth catching him in some hallway, and no way would the Silver General let someone else catch his dream nemesis, and collecting him be the back of his shirt left him with a squirming feeling that wasn't entirely unpleasant. Shiva bless, he really needed those pills if he was in any way, kind or shape happy about the prospect of being caught in a drag.
Then the anticipated moment came; their names and contact address were written down, Donna was gently but firmly led to the side and Rain was ushered with other children through the gate to the waiting dogs. Cloud smiled widely ran with the rest of them to the dogs and dropped to his knees in front of one golden Foxhound to hug and pat it like everyone else and peeked under it.
"What's her name," he asked from the soldier holding the leash of the dog, looking bored out of his mind.
"She's Sváva," the soldier gave him the name of one of Odin's Valkyries. Sváva looked nowhere near as frightening as her namesake; Cloud was sweating when she sniffed discreetly his bunny backpack, knowing the odor of blood and the chemical cocktail, sodium citrate, phosphate, dextrose, and adenine to keep the blood from clotting and preserve it, had to be obvious. But Sváva wasn't barking even if her curly tail was twitching uncertainly and Cloud whispered endearments to her ears but keeping his hands now to himself. Poor dog had to be sick of squealing, clinging children by now. The warmth of sun was clinging to his skin pleasantly, if not for the odd smell of city Cloud couldn't indentify further and the hard concrete under his knees he could have closed his eyes and pretended to be back in Cosmo Canyon. He wondered whet Piekna was doing now.
"Now we will continue our tour," the Soldier Third Class leading them ordered with a loud, clear voice. It took the man, Jessod, some time to separate the children from the dogs. Cloud was neither first nor the last to go and soon they walked past a parade field where Shin-Ra regulars were having an exhibition drill. The men and women were bright blue like the sky and they marched to the beat of the cadence exact like glockenspiel. Cloud had to admit it looked good.
"Hey, who are you," a bright voice asked from behind him and Cloud turned his head to look at red-haired girl in old, green coat. She looked like she could be even nine years old.
"I'm Rain," he introduced his alter ego and the girl grabbed his hand.
"I'm Netza, nice to meet you!" she told her name in return and proceeded to drag Cloud with her, leaving him to cringe inwardly. If something happened he didn't want anyone to think this little girl had anything to do with him.
But no one kept an eye for him and he was sure that he would have noticed. He walked like in a dream, unhindered through the Shin-Ra compound from the regular and Soldier barracks to the high tower standing over Midgar, grey like and old giant of tales, wearing glass jewellery. The cheerful chorus of steps and laughter echoed in the tower and the gaggle of children, in all chocobo colors, walked and ran through it, not really listening to the poor Soldier who was beginning to look really harassed. He was swiping sweat from his temple with the back of his hand and and quickly grabbed a small hand that had been about to push a doorchime. It seemed so unreal, like finding a fire burning underwater, and Cloud had to deliver himself a firm kick in his mind. He was there to work, not to enjoy himself. Still no sight of Sephiroth and he was slowly beginning to believe there wouldn't be. He was at the heart of the enemy, free and free to go and it was a heady feeling. Compared to this, pilfering Fuhito's hard drive from his laptop in his office had been nothing, less than nothing!
Finally after an hour they reached the highest level and Cloud gave Netza a calculating look. He didn't want to get her into trouble, but there he was, doing just so. The headiness gave first way to an uncomfortable churning at his stomach and then cool resolution. He needed help to separate himself from the group and the little ball of energy could help him. It wasn't like she was going to help him break into anywhere. He bent so his lips were on the same level with Netza's ear.
"Isn't it cool here. I bet this would be the best place to play hide-and-seek ever," he whispered to her. Her eyes lit up like he had just given her the best birthday gift ever.
"But I don't think our Soldier is going to let us wander anywhere alone," he continued and Netza's eyes went immediately a little bit dimmer. Cloud felt briefly like he had just kicked a puppy. Netza was so innocent.
"Do you think if we asked real prettily," she asked him, hesitant. Cloud shook his head, feeling like a Turk. In a way he was one, he realized, a nicer, less violent version of Shin-Ra's spies. Apple. tree, he mused and felt immediately better thinking about it like that. Resembling his father was nothing to be ashamed of.
"No, they wouldn't. Adults never have a sense of humor. But maybe if we all just ran into different directions at the same time. The Soldier could come seek us." It was pretty heavy handed, but he didn't have much time and Netza was young enough to take his prompting at face value. True enough, she was soon going through their group, giggling and whispering. Few older children were shaking their heads and one boy in blue-green shirt was looking at the back of the Soldier hesitantly, but to Cloud's relief he didn't say anything either.
"Up there is a landing pad for President Shin-Ra's private helicopter," the Soldier announced, pointing at stainless steel stairs leading to a heavy metal door. Cloud could feel how the mood of the children shifted, the thought of seeing a real helicopter beginning to win over the inborn sense of mischief.
"Now!" his voice was low, but the intensity bore authority. Netza ran first to the opposite direction and a herd of children ran after her, laughing with innocent glee. Cloud could tell the exact moment the Soldier lunged after them and flattened himself to the wall, letting him pass him by.
Safely ignored for the moment, he turned left to the smaller hallway that led to Scarlet Abbiss' and Heidegger's offices, recalling the map he had been shown. Second door on the left side, there was a big, mahogany door, its natural, wooden shine truly eye-catching in a place of steel and glass and hard fluorescent lights. The lock, however, was very much modern and Cloud took a small hand mirror and the keycard his father had made from his pocket, hoping it was good enough and hoping that Scarlet wasn't inside. It was unlikely, with the big project in Junon, but it was still possible that she had returned for the Founder's Day, hordes of children non-withstanding. A quiet whirr and the door opened obediently. Cloud took half a step to inside and thrust out his left hand, holding the mirror. They had trained this until Cloud had really begun to hate the poor object and now he deftly took the hat from his head and threw it through the air. It landed on the security camera in the corner and twirled a little, but didn't fall. There was no one inside.
Cloud let the door shut and took his backpack to his hand, opened the zipper under a happy, pink face and took a bottle full of deep, dark liquid. He shook the bottle to see the blood ripple and swirl, almost hypnotic. Time to make a statement, then. He still couldn't believe he was lucky enough for the odd dream exchange to have been just on the spot, no plans revealed.
He took a long stick from the bunny pack, dipped it into the blood careful to not get any on his clothes and begun writing on Scarlet's cream and golden-white wallpapers. He had to dip it six times until there read on bold, dripping letters: REPENT SINNER. Then he gathered his hem to his hand to keep it out of the way and poured the rest of the blood to the mousy carpet. No way were they ever getting that stain out of it.
Time to leave and allow himself be collected.
What is it like to not understand what you are? Aeris knew she was a Cetra the way she knew her hair was brown, but why did that make her so valuable? Gaia whispered to her and filled his dreams with bold, reckless song, like She hadn't sung for a long, long time, but as much as Aeris loved her flowers that bloomed out of season wher it never was the right season and her dream fields of white lilies and bright sunflowers she didn't think that would benefit Shin-Ra any.
Desire/broken/rabid/CALAMITY,Gaia whispered to her. Virus/cancer/predator/hunger. Dreams of death/dreams of fire/frost/famine.
Wall Market wasn't anything like it had been just the day before when she had been selling her tiger lilies there. Now it had been transformed to a carnival, rickety stands thrown up in every available space offering meats pies with spicy sauce, hot drinks, pink and white cotton candy and blazed almonds, games and fortune telling in dim tents smelling of cheap incense and moth balls. Later that evening Zack would come and treat her dinner, but now Aeris was working; she always sold easily thrice the usual amount of flowers at Founders's Day, roses of deep red and pink, gladiolus, primroses and delicate violets. The sheer collective joy of life that bubbled all around her, so rare in Midgar, made her head feel light. But it didn't last.
Danger,Gaia filled her ears with hasty, warning chords. Predator/chase/grudge. And Aeris knew that being a Cetra, the Cetra, had caught up with her again as she turned to flee. Negative. Specific.
There's this future Zack thinks about where they're both old and live in Gongaga or some other nice, warm, lush green place for Aeris, he has managed to teach Sephiroth to laugh at stupid things, he would be married to Aeris and Sephiroth to someone, because there had to be someone capable of catching the man's eye. All they do is sit at a bar, complain about the cigar smoke and Soldier sense of smell, reminisce about the wars they fought and the scars they gained and torture the wet-behind-their-ears youngster with their stories until Aeris and the mystery lady, or man, would come to fetch them. They would have children of course and grandchildren too.
But he would start small and teach his friend to be comfortable with children if it killed them both. All Sephiroth knew of children amounted to having been one once and knowing how the man had been raised that didn't say much. Gast Faremis had apparently been relatively benevolent, but after he had died as far as the scientists were concerned being child meant that Sephiroth could be trained more swiftly and efficiently than adults, at the peak of his capacity to learn. Sephiroth had never even seen never even seen another child until he got sent out to burn their towns down around them in Wutai. At first he had treated them like adults and killed without mercy because he had always been treated like that; a small sized adult. He had learned otherwise rather quickly, even his own men flinching away from him for his displays of ruthlessness, but he still acted like children shouldn't be allowed near him and froze completely, that painfully common conviction of not-human in his eyes.
Zack couldn't deny that the image of a small body hitting the ground and Masamune dipped in red, Sephiroth's eyes unmoved and unrepentant, had cost him several nighs' worth of sleep when he had first been told, but it wasn't like there hadn't been repenting after the war. So he ignored the image and the nausea he had felt. He had had a front seat and he didn't like to see the man beating himself so.
But Sephiroth would learn that it hadn't been his fault Hel damn, that children did fear him considerably less than adults in general and he had seen just the right little gal to do the teaching, the cutest little girl with pigtails, round glasses and a pink bunny rabbit backpack. Who could resist her awesomeness?
"Hi there, Jessod! Wait a little, man!" he shouted cheerily and caught up with the man who was herding the children trusted in his care, looking like he wished he was anywhere else, even if it involved a nasty, smelly swamp full of mosquitoes and Midgar Zoloms.
"I'll borrow one of yours if you don't mind. Don't worry, tell the parents that I'll return her personally." The he knelt so that his face was at the same level with the girl's. She looked immediately down, looking so embarrassed and shy, but peeked at him under her lashes.
"I'm Zack Fair, Soldier First Class. Who are you, princess?" he asked her. She was chewing her lower lip.
"Rain Lockhart. It's nice to meet you." Her voice was small, but clear like a bell. Then she lifted her face and it was like a fluffy little kitten had suddenly transformed into a tiger cub, still cute, but also fierce. Behind the glasses those celestial blue eyes reminded him someone, but he wasn't sure who. Forsythia Clover had blue eyes, maybe it was her. The Soldier was pretty slim too just like this girl and brunette to boot. He felt kind of bad for the other kids for singling her out in front of them, but inflicting them all on Sephiroth at the same time would be little too much. He could picture the man freezing like moving a muscle would send the fragile little beings, for that was how he saw them, running screaming.
"Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to cheer up an irate General with me." The girl squeaked.