I've had a TON of inspiration for this story lately. So much so its almost difficult to reign myself in so I hope you are as excited about where this is about to go as I am! Some BIG revelations are coming in the near future so you have a lot to look forward to.
There is some drama in this chapter so I hope you all enjoy the interactions and what comes of them.
As always your thoughts are VERY important to me. So let me know what you think and I can tweak future chapters. ENJOY!
"One last pin princess." Natalia promised.
"Please call me Emma." Emma reminded the girl for what felt like the hundredth time.
"Natalia let me check." The head seamstress, Gemma, came over to inspect the girls handiwork. "We wouldn't want anything but perfection for our dear Emma."
"I'm sure she did fine." Emma forced a smile, eager to get out of the dress pattern.
"Almost." Natalia smiled as she fixed a pin. "Perfect. Now we will be able to make the most incredible gown for you."
"I'm sure you will…" Emma was cut off by a quick and adamant knock in the room.
"Who in the world?" Natalia hurried over to open the door.
"There you are." Daniel breathed a sigh of relief.
"What is it?" Emma asked, seeing the worry on Daniel's face.
"We need to talk." Daniel's tone was serious.
"About what?" Emma was getting worried.
"I've heard things…" Daniel trailed off.
"From Altair?" Emma asked knowingly.
"Things Serafine would not want me to tell you but I think you need to know." Daniel said. "I know how you get when things are kept from you."
"So what is it?" Emma prompted.
"There have been… problems." Daniel began.
"With?" Emma pushed.
"It seems the situation was not as tied up as we thought it was." Daniel admitted.
"How far has it escalated?" Emma put her hand to her head.
"Not to a level that need a full scale intervention but…" Daniel trailed off.
"The balance is even more fragile." Emma finished. "I need to get back there."
"You can't." Daniel shook his head.
"Why not?" Emma demanded.
"Because Serafine needs you…" Daniel began to explain.
"For something else." Emma snapped. "I know, I've heard that a hundred times. But what else?"
"This problem is only going to get worse Emma." Daniel reminded her. "You know that. We need to save our biggest players for when the situation is the most critical."
"And what about everyone else?" Emma asked. "Are they expendable?"
"No." Daniel shook his head. "But if people like you are put at risk, what hope does that leave for the rest of us?"
Emma sighed in frustration, balling her hands into fists to release her frustration. "Fine. But you have to tell me everything you know."
"I will." Daniel promised.
"Good." Emma turned away.
"Emma," Daniel said warily. "There is more."
Emma turned around slowly, the hesitance in Daniel's game unnerving her. "What?"
Daniel looked up at Emma, pain in his eyes. "It's Juliana."
"What about her?" Emma asked hesitantly, scared to hear the answer.
"She went back in Diana's place, to protect her, like she always does." Daniel began slowly, pausing to catch his breath. "She wasn't properly briefed on the operation, there was no time." Daniel swallowed hard. "She made an error."
"Is she hurt?" Emma asked.
"Emma she's…" Daniel trailed off.
"No." Emma shook her head, unwilling to believe what he was saying.
"I'm sorry." Daniel whispered.
"No!" Emma said adamantly. "She's not… she can't be..."
"She was protecting a younger charge." Daniel said gently. "She was doing what she always did."
"No." Emma ran her hand through her hair, fighting back tears. "She… she…"
"Raised us." Daniel finished. "I know."
"She protected me." Emma shook her head. "She saved my life… I never got to repay her, she never knew how much I…"
"She knew." Daniel promised her. "You were never good with words so we all learned how to tell things other ways. She knew."
"I need to… I need to get out of here." Emma started to look around hastily.
"Emma the dress." Gemma warned.
"Screw the dress!" With a wave of her hand the dress was on the ground and Emma, dressed only in a corset and undergarments stalked out of the room.
"Damn." Natalia breathed as she watched Emma leave.
"Emma!" Daniel called as he ran after her.
"Leave me alone Daniel!" Emma snapped.
"I don't know where you are going." Daniel continued after her. "But wherever it is, you might want to put clothes on to attract less attention."
"Fine!" Emma waved her hand and a loose shirt and riding pants appeared on her.
"Where exactly are you going?" Daniel asked.
"I don't know." Emma said quickly.
"I cannot let you go to Altair, not like this." Daniel warned.
"Why not?" Emma asked.
"Because." Daniel pulled her around to face him. "You need to be here."
"To be safe?" Emma sounded disgusted. "To be protected while the blood of my friends is shed?"
"No." Daniel and took a deep breath. "To be seen."
"By who?" Emma asked.
"I don't know." Daniel admitted. "Serafine won't tell anyone. This order comes from a lot higher up."
"The government?" Emma asked.
"I think." Daniel nodded. "But I don't really know."
"I'm sick of the lies Daniel." Emma yelled.
"They're not lies." Daniel said gently. "You are a soldier. You understand strategy. You know about things being on a need to know basis. You need to do what you have always done, you have a role, you need to do your job. We all do."
Emma looked conflicted, struggling with the decision before finally sighing and ripping her arm away from Daniel. "Fine. But I still need some way to blow off this anger."
"Let's go to the weapons field." Daniel offered. "I'll be your punching bag, like always."
"Jesus Emma." Daniel ducked out of the way of a particularly aggressive blow. Emma was using her anger to fuel her fight. The only time Daniel had seen her this fierce was when she was fighting enemies on one of their missions and even then she didn't have as much passion and anger as Daniel saw in her eyes now. Emma knocked Daniel's arm out of the way and planted her foot firmly in his chest, sending him flying back.
"Holy shit." Daniel gasped, trying to catch his breath as he held his chest.
"Sorry." Emma breathed heavily, not seeming all that sorry as she rewrapped her knuckles. "I'm just…"
"Upset." Daniel nodded. "I get it. I am too. That emotion you're feeling is called sadness."
"Shut up." Emma glared. "Or I'll hit you again."
"Not really sure that you could make this bruise much worse." Daniel said sarcastically.
"I could break something." Emma offered dryly.
"You are terrifying." Daniel said slowly.
"Come on." Emma held out her hand.
"Are you going to hit me again?" Daniel eyed the hand warily. "Because if so I would rather stay on the ground."
Emma rolled her eyes. "Stand up, you're better than lying on the ground."
Daniel groaned as Emma roughly pulled him up. "I think you are more brutal than any of the trainers in Altair."
"Not true." Emma took a drink of water and threw the canteen to Daniel. "Bruno's worse."
"Bruno is a monster not of this or any world." Daniel pointed out. "At least you're human."
"Wow Emma." Both Daniel and Emma turned to see a clean cut Chris walking towards them. His look stood in stark contrast to themselves, covered in sweat and dirt with both their shirts torn. "You were not lying when you said you could fight. I was expecting swords but…"
"You can actually hit someone with your fists." Emma shrugged.
"A human punching bag is a fabulous thing to be." Daniel rolled his eyes.
"We were planning on using our swords later but this…" Emma glanced down at her fists, the wraps on them stained slightly with blood. "It was just a much needed release."
"Sometimes you just need to hit something." Chris gave a gentle smile. "Makes it easier when you are a royal and can get away with hitting others."
"I don't exactly want to be known for beating the guards." Emma said.
"Just me." Daniel spoke up.
"I seem to remember a few serious bruises and broken bones coming from your end too." Emma said pointedly.
"Fair enough." Daniel held up his hands.
"Well if you're not too tired Emma maybe I could have a turn sparring with you?" Chris offered. "See how my sword technique matches up against yours."
"Can the pampered prince actually fight or do his advisors just tell him he can." Daniel muttered, earning a jab in the stomach from Emma. Daniel doubled over, groaning in pain.
"How is that comment feeling now?" Emma asked sharply.
"Not good." Daniel managed.
"That's what I thought." Emma gave one final sharp look at Daniel before picking up a sword and tossing it to Chris. "Does the weight feel ok?"
Chris pulled the sword out of the sheath and felt it in his hand, taking a few practice swings before giving a nod. "I think this will work."
"Are you going to fight with him our way?" Daniel asked.
"I think we'll go traditional." Emma answered.
"Your way?" Chris asked.
"Enchanted swords." Emma shrugged. "They allow us to strike at one another without hurting the other individual. The sword passes right through the body."
"And you feel nothing?" Chris asked.
"Sort of." Emma tried to explain. "You feel like a nudge or a shove. You know it goes through you but it doesn't hurt. It's better for practice actually hitting someone and show's you how to deal with blows before you encounter the real thing."
"That sounds useful." Chris contemplated.
"It is." Emma nodded. "Maybe if you show me promise, I'll show you how it works sometime."
"You talk a big game dear Emma." Chris grinned.
"Well I have a lot of confidence in myself." Emma teased.
"With good reason I assume?" Chris asked.
"I think Daniel's bruise speaks for itself." Emma shrugged.
"Ah yea but the brute force of hand to hand is much different form the delicate art of swordsmanship." Chris pointed out.
"Delicate art?" Emma laughed.
"I head someone say that once." Chris admitted. "But it still is an art none the less."
"Fair enough." Emma agreed as she picked up her own sword. "Shall we begin?"
They sparred for a few round, Chris being continually surprised by how talented Emma was. When Emma held her sword to his throat for the last time they were both breathing heavily. She withdrew it and smiled, smoothing her hair that had fallen from its ponytail. "You're not half bad."
"Your skills weren't exaggerated." Chris breathed heavily.
"I've had a lot of time to practice." Emma shrugged, taking Chris's sword and putting it away. "Fighting technique got at least a couple hours each day."
"What was a typical day like?" Chris asked. "In your world."
"Well, we'd start the morning off with a run and then have breakfast." Emma explained. "We'd start with class, it differed from day to day. Then we'd practice our magic, break for lunch, work out, train with weaponry, and then one last round of magic before dinner. We had our nights to ourselves, as well as Sundays. It was regimented but it was my home."
"You sound like you miss it." Chris commented.
"I do." Emma admitted. "They were… are my friends. It was my home for ten years. It's weird to think that there could be a life without it."
"So you want to go back." Chris said slowly.
"I don't know what I want." Emma looked at the ground.
"Have you come any closer to making a decision?" Chris asked.
"How does one come closer to making a decision?" Emma looked at him. "You have either made one or not, there is no part way."
"I guess you have a point." Chris agreed.
"Anyway I believe all decisions are made the moment we are asked to make a choice." Emma admitted.
"Then why haven't you?" Chris looked confused.
"It is fear that keeps us from admitting the decision has been made." Emma continued. "Once you finally accept the fear, accept the loss, then you can accept the decision that has been made all along. I find generally the thing you fear losing the most is the one you have decided to give up. You fear it more because you know you will lose it."
Chris glanced at Emma. "So which one do you fear losing more?"
"I don't know." Emma said quietly. "But I do know I fear losing both immensely. But it seems the longer I take to make a decision, the harder things become to say goodbye to. But then the longer I take, the less chance I have to say goodbye to the people I love. "
"I heard about your loss." Chris said gently.
"Yea." Emma whispered.
"Was she close to you?" Chris asked.
"She practically raised me." Emma nodded. "And now she's gone and I'll never see her again."
"I know it hurts." Chris put his hand on Emma's knee. "But it will get better."
"Have you ever lost someone?" Emma looked at him.
"Not in that sense." Chris shook his head. "But I did loose you. You were my best friend."
"Seems I was a lot of people's best friend." Emma looked away.
"You have a lot of people here who care about you." Chris said simply.
Emma looked back into his impossibly blue eyes. "That just makes this decision that much harder."
For Emma it felt like she was moving in slow motion. People spoke to her but she responded with little emotion. She hadn't shown up for dinner and it seemed her parents had allowed it. But when a lady in waiting entered her room in the morning, informing her she was expected at breakfast she knew she couldn't avoid company any longer. She reluctantly made her way down to the private dining room where both families had gathered. She sat quietly and picked at her food as the others chatted around her. She could feel her mothers eyes on her but she chose to ignore them.
"Emma come on." James said gently. "You need to eat your breakfast."
It hit Emma suddenly, the fuzzy haze of a memory. She was in this very chair, in this room but only her father was there.
"Hey come on," James tapped the table near his daughter's plate. "You need to eat your breakfast."
"I can't daddy." Emma didn't look up from her drawing. "I'm in the zone."
"Well the zone can wait." James said. "Come on it's the most important meal of the day."
"Why?" Emma kept coloring
"Because its good for you." James said patiently, amused by the look of determination on his daughter's face.
"If you have pancakes for lunch does that make it as important as breakfast?" Emma looked up.
"That's not really how it works." James started.
"What about when mommy lets us have breakfast for dinner?" Emma continued.
"You know…" James sighed. He wished Snow was here, she always knew what to say. Before he could respond a friendly face walked in the room. "Look who's here."
Emma glanced at the door and her face lit up. "Aunty Red!"
"Good morning, good morning, good morning nugget." Red wrapped her arms around Emma and kissed her head. "Is this your breakfast? Why haven't you touched it?"
"Yea peanut." James smiled at Red, thankful for her help.
"I was in the zone." Emma explained.
"Oh." Red couldn't hide her smile.
"I'm making it for mommy." Emma showed Red her picture. "For when she comes home."
"Oh Ems." Red bent down. "I'm sure she'll love it."
"It's not finished yet though." Emma started to go back to work.
"Come on," James tapped the table again. "You need to fuel up from that zone. Lets go."
"Ok." Emma sighed but began to eat her breakfast.
"Well hello." James smiled up at Red. When Snow was gone Red spent more time at the castle, ensuring a mother figure was around for Emma. "How are you doing? How's Graham?"
"We're great." Red took a seat on the other side of Emma. "He's really excited to be a father."
"It's the best job in the world." James's gaze lingered on Emma, his smile widening. "Your lives will never be the same. But you won't want it any other way."
Emma glanced up at James. "Daddy if I have to eat why don't you?"
"Because my little artist." James tapped Emma's nose. "I got a head start on mine while you were in the zone. Now eat. How else will you have energy to play with your Aunty Red today?"
"Can't you play with us Daddy?" Emma's hopeful face made what James had to say all the more difficult.
"I'm sorry baby but I have some king stuff to do today." James put his hand Emma's. Her small hand felt bigger than it had before. She was growing up faster than he wanted to admit and his ruling duties were taking more time than he liked from her. "With your mommy gone I have to do it all on my own. But if I get done early…"
"It's ok." Emma assured him. "I understand."
Her response pained him even more than having to say he couldn't spend the day with her. His daughter shouldn't have to be so understanding of why her parents couldn't spend time with her. Red saw the pained look on James's face. She looked at the little girl between them. "Hey Ems, why don't you run up to your room and get ready for our day?"
"Ok." Emma nodded and stood up.
"Hey there speedy." Red grabbed the girl before she could leave. "Why don't you take your picture to finish for your mommy?"
"Good idea." Emma grabbed her drawing.
"Hey." James held his arms out for a hug. "What about me?"
"I could never forget about you." Emma wrapped her arms around her father's neck.
"Good." James kissed the top of her head. "I love you Emma."
"I love you too." Emma smiled before running out of the room.
Red turned to James. "How are you really doing?"
"It's hard." James sighed. "I feel like I'm failing her as a father. I'd almost prefer she was angry at me, this whole understanding that I can't spend time with her because I have to work… it shouldn't be that way."
"She understands that you are a king." Red said. "And that is something she is very proud of. She knows you love her more than anything."
"But I haven't been doing a very good job of showing her that lately." James said dejectedly.
"She's strong." Red assured him.
"She's five." James shook his head. "She shouldn't have to be strong."
"But she's Snow and your daughter." Red reminded him. "It's in her nature. Now instead of worrying about this why don't you go finish that work so you can spend some time with her."
"You're right." James nodded.
"I usually am." Red squeezed his hand. "Now go."
"Tell my girl I love her." James said.
"I won't have to, but I will." Red promised. James gave one last smile before taking his leave. Red glanced over her shoulder. "You can come out now you little eavesdropper."
Emma blushed as she came out. "I knew you were sending me away to talk about something important."
"Emma you need to trust that if we send you away its for a reason." Red took the little girl's hands into hers.
"I know." Emma mumbled. "I didn't know he was sad. I didn't mean to make him sad."
"No baby." Red put her hand on Emma's cheek. "It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong."
"Ok." Emma glanced at the ground.
"I mean it." Red said firmly. A smile grew across her face as she grabbed Emma and began tickling her. "Besides you little sneaker, you should know better than to eavesdrop with a wolf around."
"Mercy." Emma giggled until Red finally let her go. "Sorry."
"Don't worry about it princess." Red assured her.
"Don't call me princess." Emma put her hands on her hips.
Red laughed. "It is what you are."
"A title is not a term of endearment." Emma sounded like her words were coming from someone else.
"And who told you that?" Red grinned.
"Chris." Emma said matter of factly.
"Oh and when did Chris become the expert on terms of endearment?" Red asked, amused.
"I don't know." Emma shrugged.
"Well I think you shouldn't put to much stock in what he says." Red said.
"What's stock?" Emma asked.
"Don't worry about it." Red laughed. "Now, you need to get ready for real this time. I'll race you."
"Ok!" Emma ran off giggling with Red close behind.
"Emma." Her name shook her from her reverie. She looked up to see the other occupants of the table all looking at her. Emma shook her head and put her hand over her face, rubbing her temples. "I'm sorry I just… I'm really not hungry. May I be excused? I just really need to think."
"Of course." James nodded.
"I'm sorry." Emma apologized to everyone before pushing herself away from the table and walking out of the room. She ran her fingers through her hair, cursing herself for her lapse in her concentration.
"Emma." A quiet voice came from behind her. She turned to see her mother looking at her nervously.
"I'm really sorry." Emma told her mother.
"No." Snow shook her head. "You're fine. You suffered a loss and you are understandably upset."
"So everyone knows about my little meltdown?" Emma asked nervously.
"Little?" Snow gave a teasing smile.
"Can you apologize to Natalia and Gemma for me?" Emma asked sheepishly.
"They know." Snow said gently.
"Yea but I freaked out and threw the dress they worked so hard on to the floor." Emma put her hand to her head.
"And apparently walked the halls in your undergarments." Snow added.
"How many people saw?" Emma asked hesitantly.
"Enough." Snow said.
"Well then it's a good thing I'm pretty confident about all this." Emma joked.
"I would never peg you as self conscious." Snow gave a small laugh. "So this Juliana, she was important to you?"
"Yea." Emma nodded. "She practically raised me. She was assigned to our year, along with Evander. They watched over us, made sure we were training properly, in good health, happy. They walked us through life, the hard parts, the stupid little growing pains that Serafine thought were distractions. They listened to us, settled our disputes, calmed our fears, made sure we had a semblance of a childhood. They cared for us, they protected us… they loved us.""
"And you love them." Snow heard the emotion in her daughter's voice,
"I guess." Emma shrugged. "I just feel like I owe her so much that I'll never be able to repay."
"How so?" Snow asked.
Emma looked up at her mother. "Well for starters…. She saved my life."
"Your life?" Snow looked both shocked and worried.
"I was… I was on an emissary trip to another kingdom and I was young. I was professional but I was naïve to the dangers of getting too close to people who don't always have the best of reputations." Emma looked over at Snow. "I guess I put a little too much faith in people, something I got from you I hear. Anyway I got to close to their vice chancellor, someone who would be considered a close confidant to the king in our government system and he took advantage of my stupidity and tried to use me against the rest of our group to give him what he desired. He wanted us to use our magic to help him gain power over his entire realm. I'll never forget what it was like to have that knife against my throat, the utter helplessness I felt. He was smart and was wearing something that delayed the effect of magic so if anyone tried anything he would have slit my throat before the knife was out of his hand. And Juliana stepped forward when no one else did. She offered to take my place, told him that she was worth more to Altair than I was. She told him she was high ranking and I was just a trainee that could be easily replaced. She didn't mean it of course but she did it all to protect me. So she took my place, she risked her life to make sure that I could live. I've never forgotten that moment. I couldn't believe that someone would care about me enough to do that for me."
"Well then." Snow put her hand over her daughter's. "I owe her my eternal gratitude for protecting you when I could not."
Emma gave a sad smile. "She would have really liked you if she had gotten the chance to meet you."
"Really?" Snow methodically stroked Emma's hand.
"She was a lot like you." Emma nodded, staring at the floor. "Maybe more like your living in the forest as a thief and dominating with a sword and bow persona, she was pretty kick ass. But she really cared about all of us too. She wanted us to be happy."
"She loved you." Snow finished.
"I loved her." Emma admitted quietly.
"Emma." Snow ran her hand over Emma's hair, waiting for her daughter to look at her. "I am so sorry you lost her."
"I never got to say goodbye." Emma bit her lip to keep from crying. "I never got to say how much it meant to have someone who always listened, who always looked out for me and was there no matter how much of an idiot I was."
"An idiot?" Snow asked.
Emma laughed. "This may come as a surprise to you but I have a tendency to make rash and sometimes careless decisions."
"No." Snow said sarcastically.
"Never when other lives were in danger or I was on officially business with Altair... Ok not usually when I'm on official business for Altair..." The small smile Emma had on her face fell. "But when we were on one of our adventures we sort or got a thrill out of how far we could push things. It was stupid and sometimes got us in precarious situations. But she always covered for us and gave us lectures on the side. I think she liked that despite everything we were still just kids. I wish I could have told her, just once, how much I appreciated her."
"I'm sure she knew." Snow said comfortingly.
"I appreciate you guys too you know." Emma looked at her mother. "I know this can not be easy on you. I am sorry that I cannot give you an answer as to what I want. I know I am making everyone live in this limbo. I get its really selfish but…"
"No Emma..." Snow turned her daughter's chin so she was facing her. "I can't even imagine how hard this must be on you, to not know where you want to be, to have to choose one life over the other."
"It's not that I don't care deeply for the people I have in this world…" Emma trailed off.
"You love your home too." Snow said quietly.
"My home?" Emma looked confused.
"As much as I may dislike it Emma, that place was you home for ten years and it may still be in the future." Snow looked sad. "I'm surprised you've given us as much of a chance as you have."
"Of course I have." Emma shrugged. "You're my parents."
"You didn't know that." Snow gently pointed out. "When you came here you didn't know us. We were just people who told you we were your parents. In terms of loyalty that doesn't hold a lot of weight."
"But things have changed since then." Emma pointed out.
"I think they have." Snow agreed. "I know I've made mistakes, I know I'm not perfect…"
"You're not alone in that." Emma added.
"But I love you Emma." Snow said firmly. "No matter what decision you make. And I want you to make the decision that makes you happy. That is what is most important to me. But no matter what happens I want you to know one thing."
"What is that?" Emma asked.
Snow took a deep breath and gave her daughter's hand a gentle squeeze. "You will always have a home here when you want it."
Emma paused, blinking back the tears in her eyes. She reached forward to give her mother a hug. "Thank you."