Disclaimer: I don't own Skins, I don't own Naomily and I don't own supermarkets...such is life.

Author Note: Now I know I shouldn't expect anything...but I woke up this morning to TWO reviews. The last time that happened (other than recently) was probably over a year ago. What am I doing wrong? I'd like to know, so that I can fix it. I know I haven't been as good lately, things have been tough. But I'm trying, these chapters are actually almost killing me and it feels like I'm getting very little back.

Thank you though to those who have reviewed, I appreciate it. Oh do I appreciate it. The reviews I did get made me smile and really cheered me up.

This chapter took a direction I didn't expect, it was supposed to be a lovely romanticness between Naomily. That should hopefully come along next chapter, or maybe the one after.

In This Life

Chapter Nineteen

A group of teenage boys sat at the back of the bus, their mobile phones blaring out a handful of different tunes, their voices carried down to the front seat where Emily hunched over her phone tentatively checking the dozen or so messages on there. She'd left Naomi's with a smile spread across her face, elation filling her body from the tips of her fingers to the balls of her feet. She was happy and she didn't care who knew it. Usually the teenagers would have annoyed her, inconsiderate kids, but somehow nothing else seemed to matter. Blonde hair filled her thoughts, her fingers tugging a little hard on the long, bright strands, desperate for more than just a kiss. She stopped by Jonah's, could barely remember the brief exchange with his mother as she walked back up the hill towards the bus stop. She walked on air; the crisp autumn morning crept up on her like they always had done.

At seven she remembered her first day at school and the amazement that the ground was littered with crispy, colourful leaves. She hadn't known then what she knew now, that the leaves fell too soon, they should have expected them in October not the third of September. She kicked them, crunched them and purposefully moved across the biggest and the best as she had as a child. Nothing beat the almighty crunch of each leaf beneath her foot. Except perhaps the love rattling through her bones demanding her continuous attention.

The messages on her phone sobered her a little when she noticed six missed calls off her mother in between a few from Naomi. Then there had been a message from Katie swearing at her for leaving her in the club alone. Finally she switched off her phone and rang the bell to signal her stop.

The flat looked terrible, the window frames looked even more warn than usual and the door to the building sat wide open inviting anyone inside. She attempted to close it, struggled with the broken Yale lock before giving up, allowing the door to swing back to its open state.

'Fucking twat,' she called it, laughing at herself for talking to a piece of wood.

She climbed the stairs two at a time, cursed herself for being so unfit when she reached the top with a huff and puff. Her flat stood at the end of the hallway, the dark wooden door slightly ajar.

'Bastards,' she called out, running down to the end of the corridor, not stopping until she'd pushed open the door and stood in the entrance to her flat. She looked around the mess, couldn't remember how she'd left it the day before but doubted she had anything to do with the overturned sofa cushions and the hole where her cheap television was supposed to be.

Her heart leapt into her mouth. The keys in her hand were useless, so fucking useless that she threw them across the room in a fit of rage. The break-in didn't make much of a difference by way of belongings; she hadn't had much in the first place for them to steal. She walked into the kitchen, her mood depleted, her natural high smashed into pieces. Most of the cups and glasses were smashed on the floor, what sort of thief wanted to break glasses? She cursed loudly and retrieved a dirty mug from the sink. She needed a drink. Her legs were shaking, her hands were unsteady. It took three attempts for the water to fill the mug to the top before she downed it in only a couple of large gulps. She needed a stronger drink.

She slipped a hand into her pocket for her phone and dialled the first number that came to mind. Naomi. Her mood lifting at the mere thought of hearing her voice.

'Welcome to Vodafone, sorry, you do not have enough credit to make this call.'

'Fucking, bastarding, titwank,' she shouted, dropping the phone on the counter and returning to the lounge to find the landline. When she picked it up the line was dead. 'Fucking phone company.'

In her frustrations she stalked back to the kitchen for another drink, sipped on water and again wished it was something stronger. She took a few deep breaths to calm to her shattered nerves. A pile of letters sat in front of her. A sense of foreboding pushed her hand in the direction of the letters. The first one was a bill from the gas company, a final reminder to pay. The second was junk mail informing her she'd won twenty thousand pounds.

'Yeah, in my fucking dreams.'

The next letter she opened was from the phone company informing her that her phone line would be cut off. She took the pile of letters and slipped them into her bag with her phone, packed a bag with the belongings she had left and actually wanted to keep and carried them back towards the bus stop.

Emily fished in her pocket for some money; she could barely scrape together fifty pence. 'Fan-fucking-tastic.' Public transport was out of question, so she walked.

xxx

People milled around in sweat pants, a bag in one hand and a towel hung over their shoulder. Women with sports tops revealing more than Emily expected to see. She stood in the entrance, watching a group of women in their sixties discussing baked beans and the ills of the world. Not one of them looked ready for a work out, or even a swim. A loud beep filled the room until a voice came over the tannoy system asking for some assistance in the main room. A couple came in and asked the man at reception for information on joining and then Rob Fitch rushed past and every previous trip to his gym flooded Emily's mind. The misfits and body builders, the new customers, her father walking past at such a speed he didn't notice her standing in the corner staring at him expectantly.

'Dad,' she called, drowned out by a man in the 'Don't Get Fit, Get Fitch' signature t-shirt vying for Rob's attention.

Nothing ever changed. Not really. The seasons change from spring to summer, to autumn, winter and back to spring. Yet they were never different, always ran in exactly the same order. There hadn't been any freak summer snowfalls for years, or so anyone over forty told her. The last warm day in December must have happened before she was born and every night the sun would fall only to rise again the next morning. And every Saturday as far back as she remembered since her dad opened the gym, they sat in the waiting area at lunchtime hoping he'd be able to get away for the afternoon. By Emily's twelfth birthday even Jenna gave up taking them there. Emily hadn't been in years.

'Emily?'

The bubble of thought that Emily had found herself in quickly burst and she was greeted by a tall, slender woman who Emily only faintly recognised. She frowned, looking at Emily with as much intensity as Emily looked back.

'It is,' the woman laughed. 'It's little Emily Fitch all grown up.'

'Err,' she hesitated, unable to place the brunette stood opposite. She looked her up and down once more, had to stop herself from staring at the woman's perfectly maintained body.

'It's Alice, don't you remember me?' she smiled with a cute wink.

Emily bit her lip to stop herself from staring in the hope of transferring her attention from the beautiful woman stood in front of her. She loved Naomi, she wanted Naomi but fuck was Alice gorgeous. She searched her mind for memories of Alice, anything that could come to mind to make her know exactly who she was stood in front of.

'Little Emsy Fitch, how are we today?'

'We're good. How are we too?'

'We're also good. Now does pops have something planned for you or can you help me sort the locker keys?'

'He's never got anything planned,' she rolled her eyes.

'Urgh,' Katie groaned. 'I don't want to sort lockers keys. I thought we were going swimming.'

'I bet Davey at the pool would look out for you Katie sweets.'

'Davey's on?' she grinned. 'Ace!'

'Alice!' she grinned. 'You're still here?'

The memories grew stronger of the first girl Emily really noticed. When she was nine she didn't know what it meant to be gay, she'd seen women on television kissing and holding hands, but Jenna always turned it off. She asked questions and like with the questions of babies she was sent to do her homework or tidy her bedroom. But Alice was the symbol of her younger years, a symbol of being carefree and able to have fun. She wrapped her arms around her, uncomfortably conscious of Alice's sports top revealing a perfect cleavage.

'Course, wasn't going to bail on your old man when he gave me my first job,' Alice mumbled, pulling out of the hold. 'How old are you now? I haven't seen you since you were, what, fifteen? The last time your dad brought the family to the Christmas party. How is Katie? Still breaking hearts and stealing alcohol from adults?'

The party happened every year in January, a belated Christmas event that worked out cheaper because of the time of year. They held it in a conference centre owned by one of Rob's biggest clients, which meant he got it for free. The event had been a family friendly affair until the year Katie decided to steal glasses of alcohol off tables when the adults weren't looking. Emily followed her around, as always and watched in horror as her sister grew more intoxicated, until she threw up and passed out in the corner. They hadn't gone back.

'Less of the stealing alcohol,' Emily grinned. 'We're almost twenty two, she doesn't need to anymore.'

'Twenty two, fucking hell. So you waiting on your pops?' she nodded.

'Yeah, he had to rush off somewhere. Don't think he even knows I'm here.'

Story of her life, always the invisible one surrounded by people who should have noticed her. That's why she usually dyed her hair so bright. She wasn't one for seeking attention, not like 'look at me, I'm so beautiful' Katie, but she wanted people to at least see that she existed. She ran a hand through her hair, so dull and drab compared to what it normally was. For the first time since quitting her job, she actually regretted it.

'Look,' Alice began, interrupting Emily's train of thought. 'I'm on my lunch break now. Wanna join me for something to eat? Supposed to have a meeting with Mr Fitch straight after, I'm sure he'd much rather see you.'

The offer brought a grin to Emily's face, she liked to smile, loved it more when she smiled at someone who then smiled back. She used to smile a lot, as a child. She remembered her teachers writing in her primary school reports that she was a ray of sunshine who brightened up even the dullest of days. What changed?

She cleared her throat. 'I thought only managers had meetings with my dad? Or has that changed?'

'No little Fitch,' Alice chuckled. 'Been here so long your old man had no other option but to make me a supervisor of the personal assistants. You're not the only one who's grown up.'

They walked through the gym towards the cafe. All the corridors looked exactly the same, every door, even some of the posters were very similar to the ones Emily used to read in the school holidays. Katie had insisted they were too old to spend the holidays at dad's work when they reached fourteen. Emily suspected that Katie hadn't picked up on the number of very vain, very handsomely built men who hung around the place on a daily basis. She laughed at the thought of Katie insisting on going to the gym for the very reason of hot men.

'Chicken Caesar Salad please Paul,' Alice ordered, taking a number.

'I'll have the same, thank you.'

'Put Emily's under my name.'

'But that's against the rules 'lice, Mr Fitch would,'

'Wouldn't care, she's his daughter.'

'Oh, sorry. It's lovely to meet you.'

The carefree exchange made Emily jealous. She'd always admired Alice, probably felt more for her than she should have done between the ages of nine and twelve. She was a strong, passionate woman who started at the gym at eighteen, now she couldn't have been much more than thirty and her life was set up. Unlike Emily's. Back then Emily had been a geeky little kid that Alice had to entertain, now she was an adult, everything was different. Except it wasn't really. Emily still relied on others to help her run her life. The only real difference was that she saw beauty in Alice's company; the tightly built muscles, the perfect hips, the reasonably sized breasts. She cursed under her breath for her train of thought, felt guilty for thinking about another woman when she was in love with Naomi. Alice was her father's longest running employee as far as she knew and whatever childish crush she had back then was over. Naomi was what mattered now.

'So what brings you to this here fine gymnasium?' Alice asked, her voice sounding like something from the Wild West, not its usual Bristolian with an Australian twang.

Emily laughed as she had so many times before. Alice's voices were the best thing about her childhood at the gym; she couldn't believe she hadn't remembered her. 'I'd forgotten how funny you were.'

She tilted her head and pushed down the rim of an invisible hat, 'Why thank you pretty lady.'

The last time they'd been at the gym together Emily had been twelve. She'd started middle school seven weeks earlier. The October half term she'd been dragged down to the gym when her mum had to take Katie and James to buy new school shoes. James was too wayward to be left there and Katie had spent the last month begging for heeled shoes like most of the girls in their class. Emily sat in the corner of her dad's office waiting for something to do when Alice popped her head round the door.

'Ali!' Emily grinned, greeting her with a hug.

'Pops sent me. How is my little Fitch?' she asked, striking up a conversation about school.

'It's brilliant, there's loads of new people. Like this boy called Jason that Katie really likes and there's a girl in my class that doesn't talk to anyone. She's called Naomi. I wonder why she doesn't talk to anyone.'

'I bet you're going to find out.'

She never did. She made a note to herself to ask Naomi the next time she saw her, to finally discuss their past together.

'I came,' Emily began, letting out a deep breath between words. 'I don't even know why I came. I got home this morning to find my flat's been broken into.'

'Oh sweets,' Alice gasped, returning with ease to a serious tone. 'Did they take anything?'

'Crappy, second hand television that only worked every other day anyway.'

'Oh, well that's still unfortunate. Do the police have any leads?'

'Front door's broken; doubt they'd do anything about it. Doesn't matter anyway, don't own anything worth stealing. I can't go back there though; I'm in such a fucking mess.'

Words came easier with strangers. Had Katie asked the same questions she'd have said very little, grunted perhaps, muttered a half-hearted response that meant nothing but covered the basics. She was instantly relaxed with Alice, whereas she'd never been with her family. Emily had spent more time alone in the last few years than, she suspected, Katie had spent with boyfriends. Friends were an alien concept and before Naomi, anything more was even stranger. As they sat down at a small, wooden table, Emily found comfort with the one person she always remembered feeling safe.

'Why do I get the feeling this isn't just about your home?'

Alice looked at her with earnest, demanding her attention in so few words, words which stood out clearly when coming from a near stranger. She imagined, in that moment, that she could say anything to Alice and not be judged. That if she said something more than she ever would to most people, she wouldn't actually regret it.

'Home,' Emily scoffed, accepting her plate of food. 'I've been living in a run down, one bedroomed flat that wouldn't even be fit for your worst enemy.'

'Well is there anywhere else you can go? Your parents, does Katie have her own place too? Perhaps you could stay with her.'

'I can't. There's,' she hesitated, her fork hovering over the plate. 'There's just reasons I can't move home.'

The mere thought of going home was ruled out by the prospect of seeing Naomi under the watchful eye of her mother. Plus, living with James again was the last thing she wanted. At thirteen he continuously broke the bathroom lock so he could spy on her and Katie showering; now he was nearly eighteen and competent with a computer, she dreaded to think what he would do. But in all honesty, that was why she was there. She'd gone to get the support of her dad, get his help on sorting out her financial mess, even if that meant moving home.

'What about a girlfriend?'

'Girlfriend?'

The question shouldn't have been alien and in many ways didn't feel at all strange, but the assumption made, when she'd said very little about her personal life, sent her into an internal battle. How did she know? How could she have guessed when she hadn't seen Alice in near seven years.

'Sweets, the second I saw you my gaydar screamed at me.'

'Fuck,' she cried, tears creeping up on her. 'Really?'

'He doesn't know, does he?'

'Dad?' she shook her head, wiping at her eyes to stop the tears from overflowing onto her face. 'No. I don't think he does. But if you could tell,'

'Oh sweets,' Alice sighed, holding Emily's hand up. 'What happened to the confident girl I used to know?'

'She learnt what a homophobic family she has.'

She'd learnt a long time ago what her family thought about being gay, she'd witnessed first-hand Katie dragging her away from Naomi. What better example was there? She often dreamed of a family who didn't mind, who loved her regardless. Her sister would take her to gay bars and tell her how great it was that instead of having a new brother around; she'd have a second sister. Her mother would hold her tightly in her arms; tell her how proud she was of her for coming out and how hard it must have been dealing with her sexuality alone.

'Nonsense. Your dad's always been fine with me.'

'You're gay?'

The sexuality of the beautiful girl in front of her shouldn't have come as quite a surprise as it did. Somehow Emily suspected it of her, realised that was probably where the gaydar fitted into her life. Even as a teenager she'd known there was something different about Alice, something allusive. Katie had never liked her and now she knew why, Alice was the one person in their life who had probably never given Katie advice on boys. She felt guilty, wary of having lunch with her knowing the truth. She'd already spent long enough lying to Naomi about Jonah. Emily made a promise to herself to inform her girlfriend the second she had credit, that she'd had lunch with a beautiful woman that made her toes curl just a little. Just so that she was honest with Naomi.

'Always have been sweets, when I first met your pops I told him straight out. I'm Alice, I have a girlfriend and I'd like a job.'

'You didn't!' Emily chuckled, Alice's humour lightening the strain of the conversation.

'Actually I did. I was one of twenty-seven eighteen year olds looking for a chance. I had to stand out somehow. That's the only way I knew about you sweets. Don't worry, your pops has too much testosterone to notice.'

The table felt like the most stable place to be, she clutched the edges so tight that her knuckles went white. She ran a hand through her hair, noticed again how dull the red had become. She hated brown hair, hated it with a passion because it was a colour she associated with Katie. She'd never had anything that was her own, not even the red for a while, but Katie just saw it as an experiment.

'I take it even Katie doesn't know.'

'Are you kidding?' she scoffed, her breathing sped up at the sheer thought of Katie sitting at home, probably all too aware of her sexuality. 'She's the worst if you don't count the fire breathing dragon.'

'Nothing changes with Jenna then?' Alice asked. 'You know one Christmas she accused me of only getting the job because your pops wanted to get into my pants. I told her I was gay and she didn't believe me. Thankfully my girlfriend at the time was stood next to me. She didn't seem to mind too much after we kissed, actually looked relieved.'

Emily laughed, 'What time will you be seeing dad?'

'In ten minutes. Don't look so nervous, he's a good man.'

'I know. I just owe a lot of money that I can't pay off.'

'Nothing dodgy I hope?'

'No, no, nothing like that. I quit my job, used up every penny I have. Can't even afford to live in a crappy flat in the worst part of town.'

'And you can't go to your girlfriend?'

Could she? She'd considered Naomi but mostly for support. Deep down she knew that even thinking about moving in with her was too soon, way too soon for both of them. Sure she loved her and would have done anything to make her happy and she suspected that maybe Naomi felt the same. That didn't make it easier to process the possibility.

'No,' she shook her head, pushing the idea away before it could plant itself into her thoughts. 'I can't. It's still new and, tentative; I've made a few mistakes. It's bad enough that she doesn't know how bad my financial problems are, I've been ignoring them. I can't take them to her. Not now.'

The salad lay uneaten on the plate. Emily's fork hovered above a piece of lettuce as the conversation turned over in her thoughts. She had nowhere to go. In her twenty-two years on Earth she'd made no real friends, hadn't even made any enemies. She looked back to the morning, waking up for a second time in Naomi's bed. Their arms were wrapped tightly around each other's waists. It was perfect, life was perfect. How quickly things seemed to change.

'I have a box room,' Alice began. 'It needs clearing out but I have a camp bed, if you need somewhere.'

'No. I'll be fine, I'll figure something out,' she assured her, turned the fork over and over. She couldn't accept. Firstly, Alice worked with her dad. Secondly, what would Naomi think of her living with a lesbian? Finally, she had no other arguments. As hard as she tried to find a reason to say no and seriously mean it, nothing else came to mind. Alice had as good as proved her reliance. Somehow in those few short minutes they'd spent eating lunch Emily had come to trust her completely for the second time in her life.

'Well the offer's there.'

'Okay,' she backtracked. 'A room would be good.'

Author Note: Somehow I managed to get you two chapters in two days...now who wants some chocolate to celebrate? :D