Following his advice, I joined the girl's volleyball team. I look at his name on my phone for the longest time. For his profile picture, I put the picture we took on graduation day. I slap my face with the phone every time the giddy feeling overwhelms me. I gotta stop just looking creepily at the same photo over and over again.

Without knowing I had let a year pass me by, now the gap between us seems further than ever. It sucks that I was born so late. There's a two year difference between. I've grown a bit, but not much. I've changed, but at the same time I'm still the girl from last year. Without braces.

So when the book I require for my exam is only available in the high school library, I practically jump at the chance to go. Under the guise of needing I new book, I sneak around the buildings trying to find the gym.

There's the sound of volleyballs being beat into the ground. Is it the gym? I pant as I support myself against the wall. Today's Tuesday. What are the chances that he would still stay after on a Tuesday?

Hesitantly yet full of hope, I peer into the gym.

He's there!

In all his glory, Ushijima hits down a serve at an insane angle. I stop myself from giggling out loud. How embarrassing would it be if he had heard?

"Senpai!" I call out to him.

"Erina?" Ushijima's surprised face meets mine. His voice has broken, it's much lower now. It's sexy and it's like there's a small tremor in his words.

"How've you been?" I smile. Will you notice that I have my braces off? My hair has grown longer too. Also I'm not wearing glasses anymore. Do you see the person I am now?

"Not bad," he breathes. I'm not the only one who's changed.

"Uwah, you're huge. How tall are you now?"

"184 centimeters. I think."

"Yikes." I stand next to him and measure myself. From the top of my head, my hand only reaches his chest when I extend it.

"What about you? How have you been?" He pats the seat next to him.

"I did what you told me to, I joined the volleyball club?"

"Is it fun?"

"It is!"

I tell him all that I've learnt. My position on the team as middle blocker too. Though he's surprised, I told him that my natural talent lies with my blocks. He doesn't believe me, only after I playfully punch him does he agree.

"My best weapon is still my serve though," I say as I casually flick my hair back.

"Wanna do it now?" He puts the ball on my lap.

"I'm wearing a skirt, and I don't have shoes." I laugh because he's still as obsessed with volleyball since the day I met him.

"I won't look, if that's what you're worried about."

"Ushijima-san!" I overreact and gasp. I grab the ball and run to the court anyways.

We maintain a rally for the longest time, but I deliberately make him run the width of the court 30 times. I know he doesn't do it to me, even though he could. He's so kind to take into consideration my shoeless feet.

In the time we were apart, did you miss me at all? Everything I did, always reminded me of you. I thought of your face every time I did a spike. Everytime I served. With my left hand, and the skills you taught me. Did you think of me at all? Because I always thought of you.

It felt like the old days. Just us two in the gym.

"Erina, I'm gonna pack up. You can go on ahead."

"No it's okay, I'll help you." Anytime I can get my hands on to spend more time with you, I'll take it. There's only so long you can drag out cleaning.

"See you around, I guess," Ushijima says as he flings his towel over his shoulder.

A sudden realisation hits me. I don't know when's the next time I see you. It's not like back then where we decided to meet each other every Tuesday. You're a high schooler. I'm still in junior high.

What can I do to keep you by my side? The idea of you being so far from me, I hate it so much. And what if you get a girlfriend? I don't want that. It's so childish of me to have these thoughts but I can't give you up. Being away from you was like watching through a glass box, every breath I took while you were gone suffocated me.

Maybe if I had told you I liked you on graduation day, I would not feel like this.

"Erina, are you okay?" I don't like the fact that you'll call another girl's name over mine. The only way I can tell you my feelings, is if I say it our loud. I know you're thick headed. You've got nothing but volleyball in your mind.

"Senpai, wait here for a bit."

I dash outside and slip into my shoes. Why I couldn't have just told him head on, I still don't know why.

I sneak and steal a ball from the other entrance. With the sticky notes I have, I write my feelings on it and tape it to the ball. Ushijima is wiping away his remaining sweat with the back of his sleeve. With all my might and feelings, I throw it in his direction. Hopefully he didn't notice where it came from.

My heart pounds out of my chest. Do I look around the door? Will I be happy or crushed at his reaction? Please pick up the ball.

"Erina? Where are you?"

I don't want to own up. What if he says no? I mean, if he does say no, I can just run off. But what are the chances of him saying yes?

"Erina? Come out please."

Instead I decide to text him.

I'm not coming out. Answer the question!

I hold the phone to my heart.

"I won't say my answer until you come out."

Then I'm not coming out till you do.

It's a risky play, because he could always leave. There are four exits around the gym. I can see him check the North Exit.

"I want to tell you, face to face. Why aren't you coming out?"

I text furiously, having to backspace because of the numerous typos.

If it's no, I can just run away. Pretend it never happened.

"What if my answer isn't 'no'?"

No? My brain stops working. In the spur of the moment, I forget what the opposite of 'no' is.

"Will you come out now?"

"No," I say but run to another door.

I can hear him rush to the exit where I was hiding.

"Erina, I'll stay here till you come out."

I look over to him. He's standing in the centre of the gym. The ball is still in his hand. Who decided this was a good method of confession? I take several deep breaths.

"Eight seconds!" I shout. "Give me eight seconds."

One. Inhale.

Two. Exhale.

Three. Have a clear focus of your goal.

Four. Look at the receiver.

Five. Know where the destination is.

Six. Take your first step to the line.

Seven. Remind yourself it's not the end if you fail.

Eight. Serve.

I stand in front of Ushijima. Finally I look up and search for his eyes. Unable to maintain it any longer I bring my hair and hands to cover my face.

"Aren't you going to say something?" I complain. I want to know. I search for his eyes one more time.

"I like you."

And it's those three words that set off the fireworks. The explosives that I had planted the moment I threw that ball. I'm so glad they didn't just bust.

"I'm so glad I'm gonna die from a heart attack."

The feeling is better than a spike through three blockers, it's better than three consecutive points with just my serve.

Ushijima wraps his arms around me and presses me against his body. I listen to his heart beating to the same rhythm as mine.

"Why is your heart beating so fast? I was the one who confessed!"

"Stupid! Any guy's heart would go crazy if the girl they liked confessed!"

I wonder if he feels my face flare up like a heater.

"Hey Erina, can I kiss you?"

"Don't ask stuff like that!" I say, super embarrassed. He pulls me away to look me in the eyes. I keep looking at his shirt, his neck, and his lips, but never making contact with his fierce gaze.

"So I should just do it?" God, when he puts it in the way. His arms around me pull me tighter, stopping me from slipping away and melting with my emotions.

"Well I never said that…" I still don't know, do I want it? Or do I not want it? "So you aren't goin-"

His other hand snakes behind my back and runs through my hair. I close my eyes instinctively. He tilts my head to the side as he leans in. Ushijima tastes like apples. The sweetness of apple juice. I pull away momentarily to breathe only for a second before I go in for another. Deeper. Stronger. I want it to be more passionate.

"Stop grinning," he commands in between shaky breaths.

"I can't help it."

Sendai Summer Festival is in full blast. For the first time in forever, I wear my hair in a messy bun. My armpits are slightly sticky and the back of my knees too. I can only hope that it doesn't smell. My eyes scan the crowd for a tall boy with olive-brown hair.

"Senpai," I call and tug on his sleeve. He's wearing a black yukata that exposes slightly the centre of his chest. From there, I can see his collarbones and the slip dip between his pectorals.

"Found you," I grin. Maybe it's because I'm wearing a yukata, my cheeks heat up.

"You look cute today," Ushijima compliments as he takes my hand in his. So maybe I'm not blushing because of the heat.

He glances at his phone. "There's still two hours before the fireworks start, wanna just look around?"

I never knew how bad Ushijima was with games. As a volleyball ace, his accuracy and power did not seem to transfer to any of the games. He missed all ten shots for the shooting game. Even the kids were laughing at how such an intimidating titan like him could actually suck so bad. The ring toss was even worse, impressively all of his rings always bounced out.

"Senpai you suck," I laugh, only receiving a glare in return.

We escape the crowds, walking by the river side where only couples stood. Stopping at small bench before a bridge, Ushijima tells me to wait as he runs off. The landscape on the other side is dotted with more yellow and red lights. If I look below to the river bank there are shrouded figured playing with sparklers. I expose a bit of leg to aerate the sweat. My skin is pale as the moon compared to the dark blue material of the yukata. That's what happens when you lock yourself indoors.

A red candied apple enters my sight. "You wanted one right?"

"Oh you noticed? Aren't you potential boyfriend material?"

He knocks my head gently.

"Idiot, I am your boyfriend." Without asking he takes a bite of my apple. It takes every fibre in my being to not call him out for that indirect kiss. I don't really remember how the apple tasted, but I think it was delicious. It probably was.

In a gentlemanly fashion, Ushijima throws away the apple core and buys us a bottle of water.

"You only bought one bottle?"

He casually responds, "We can share."

I blithely accept the water bottle. "Indirect kiss," I say as I poke my tongue out, hoping to get him blushing.

"...You noticed?"

Instead I'm the one flustered by his response. "Senpai, this is unfair." I steal a glance at him between the gaps of my fingers.

"Would you prefer a direct kiss?" He says this while peeling off my hands off my face.

At that moment his face glows vermillion. And then emerald. Then aqua.

"The fireworks!" The blasts are thunderous, but they still don't mask the pounding of my heart.

"They're stunning," I sigh. The vivid colours ignited the starry sky in patterns of flowers.

"I know." His voice right next my ear. I look out of the corner of my eye.

"You're not even looking at the view."

"I'm looking at the view." His chin rests on my shoulder, and he kisses my neck.

I tilt my head a bit to the right, baring more of my neck. His trail of kisses travel up to my jaw, then to my cheek. Finally I feel him press his lips onto my mine. He pushes me down onto the seat.

"You taste like candy apple," I point out.

"You too," he says, his breath ragged. We're out in public, two teens making out on a bench. If my parents could see this.

"Kiss under the fireworks," I say quietly. "Check."

Ushijima raises a brow. "What else is on the list?" he asks but continues to silence me with kisses.

I moan in between the breaths. "Uhm sex on the beach?" I joke.

"We can go there on our next date."

"Bakatoshi, I'm too young for this!"