Many, many thanks for the reviews and alerts following the last chapter, each one truly is appreciated.
My biggest thanks, of course, go to the wonderful imahistorian – your time, help and patience is, as always, priceless!
Hope you all enjoy... here goes!
Kensi had left work with a plan and it hadn't been to fall into a deep sleep with complete and utter abandon. Arriving home just as the rich orange sun could be seen pushing its way up over the rim of the desert horizon, she had kicked off her boots, shrugged off her jacket and dropped face first onto her bed.
Four hours was usually enough sleep to see her through the day, but not this time. The emotional roller-coaster of the past eighteen hours had wiped Kensi out more thoroughly than a month undercover leaving every part of her feeling unnaturally heavy. Her immediate instinct was to fight against the pull of sleep that her body was demanding, but Kensi had had enough of fighting inevitabilities for one day, so allowing the exhaustion to fully take a hold she had slipped peacefully into a dreamless slumber.
Waking slowly to the soft, subtle scent of sea salt and board wax mixed with citrus shampoo, Kensi breathed in deeply and smiled, her arm reaching out across the bed in search of the man to whom that particular combination of aromas belonged. The cold, empty space beside her felt unusually vast and quickly brought all reality back with a thud as she remembered the reasons why her partner wasn't right there with her. All that had occurred was not a dream, and the fact that she was still dressed with her badge digging uncomfortably into her hip only served as confirmation of her long night.
Rolling over onto her back and staring with bleary eyes at the white plaster ceiling Kensi realised that the familiar smells surrounding her were simply ingrained into the bed linen. Closing her eyes and resting her head to one side she breathed them in once more finding solace in their familiarity. A smile crept slowly across her face with the developing thought that Marty Deeks had actually ingrained himself into almost every part of her life, not just the bed linen, and it was with great relief that that thought wasn't nearly as scary as she'd expected.
Now she just couldn't wait to see him, to hear his voice, to hold onto him and again take the reassurances she knew that he could offer just by the touch of his hand.
Hauling herself up and glancing briefly at the clock on her way to the bathroom, Kensi saw with surprise and guilt that it was lunch time and she'd slept for almost eight hours. Turning on the shower and stripping off her clothes, before dumping them unceremoniously beside the laundry basket, Kensi stepped under the steaming cascade of hot water and gradually she began to feel more awake.
Thirty minutes and two cups of coffee later, a third in the cup holder beside her, Kensi steered the SRX towards Deeks' apartment. A ten minute tour of his bedroom and living room enabled her enough time to pack a bag of his things before she exited back into the California sunshine and, after one further five minute stop, she quickly made her way to the destination she had been desperate to reach all along.
Deeks stared at the man before him, not entirely sure that he recognised who was staring back. Scratching his head the man copied and with a deep sigh Deeks noted with a certain level of resignation that the bruises and cuts would at least heal in time. Standing in front of the small bathroom mirror as he inspected the damage, he really could appreciate just how lucky he had been. He had aches and pains all over his body, but he was still standing. Okay, so he was standing a little unsteadily, wearing a hospital gown with the traditional gaping back that left little to the imagination and even less to the dignity, but standing was still pretty good considering.
Just as a nurse had been removing all of the attached cables and wiring, thus enabling him to get out of bed and roam freely, Callen and Sam had arrived causing Deeks to cringe inwardly. He was desperate to pee in the way that god had intended rather than how the hospital insisted, and he could sense a long line of jokes would soon be coming his way.
"You're good to go, Detective," The pretty blonde nurse informed him with an easy smile, as she finished disconnecting the IV line from the catheter in his hand, "You're blood pressure is still a little on the low side, so take it slow."
"Don't worry, we'll keep an eye on him," Sam assured the nurse, an amused smile flickering across his face as she left the room.
"Well this is certainly an improvement on the last time we saw you," Callen told the injured man.
"Oh, I don't know," Sam added dryly, "I kind of liked it when he couldn't speak."
Deeks coloured a little but remained quiet as he shoved off the sheet covering him and gingerly manoeuvred his bare legs over the side of the bed to the floor. At seeing the detective supporting himself shakily beside the bed, Sam and Callen looked to each other, and with a joint roll of their eyes they quickly moved to either side of Deeks and escorted him to the bathroom.
"This is as far as we go." Sam informed him upon reaching the door.
"That's possibly the nicest thing you've ever said to me, Sam."
Sam chuckled and gladly shut the door behind him.
Emerging a few minutes later, Deeks was grateful to find his colleagues waiting for him and with a slow shuffle they helped him back to bed.
"Here," Callen said handing Deeks a neatly folded piece of paper, "One of the nurses asked me to give you this."
Deeks unfolded the paper with a smile to find the name 'Ellie' along with a phone number.
"How does he do it, G?" Sam asked his partner disbelievingly, "He's shaggy and unkempt, he's wearing a gaping hospital gown that's gonna give me nightmares for weeks, and right now he looks like he should be on a poster for the ASPCA. How is he still getting more action than you?"
Deeks couldn't help but laugh at the lack of amusement present on the senior agent's face, and as he did he quickly became appreciative of every dose of painkillers he'd been given.
"So, you going to give me another lecture on trade craft?" he asked looking to the former SEAL with a mixture of dread and anticipation.
"Not this time, man." Sam answered gently, "But, I am going to give you your phone back. We found it at the crime scene."
Deeks took the phone, then looked back up at the two men stood beside him.
"Thank you. For everything."
"We're a team," Callen replied as if it were obvious.
"It's what we do," Sam finished.
Callen and Sam had stayed for a short while and updated him on the outcome of the case, including Agent Calder's betrayal and the meeting with Tan Liping. Deeks listened quietly, thoughtfully, the tale of a father protecting his son at any cost resonating strongly with him. Were the actions of Tan Liping any more or less reprehensible than those of Jim Weiss? When the driving force behind each of them had been the love for their children and, more importantly, the willingness to protect them at any cost, what judgements could be made?
What now gnawed at Deeks was the question of whether he would have behaved any differently given similar circumstances. As a police officer, as someone who had taken an oath to uphold the law and all that it encompassed, he hoped that his choices and decisions would lead him far away from the type of actions undertaken by both Jim and Tan. Working undercover he'd certainly spent a great deal of time tiptoeing along the fine and tenuous line which separated right from wrong, and sometimes he could honestly say he'd crossed clean over it into territory that he was ashamed to walk in. But with those acts at least a permission of sorts had come. Who had given permission for Jim and Tan to behave in the fashion they did? Each had taken steps in total contradiction to who they were as agents of the law, but not as fathers.
Ay, there's the rub, because as much as Deeks wished to be dogmatic in his belief of doing what was right he couldn't in all honesty say that what they had done was wrong. If it were his child in danger, if it were his child who's life and future hung in the balance, would he hesitate in doing anything necessary to protect them? Perhaps you just didn't get to make suppositions on that question until you were a parent. Perhaps you were simply unable to.
Up to date and feeling tired, Deeks yawned causing Callen and Sam to stand from their chairs and say their goodbyes. Then with the shaking of hands and a significant look from each the two partners had left him alone once more.
Dozing within an easy, light sleep Deeks had awoken a little while later to the sensation of nature calling, and after washing his hands he had braved a proper look in the mirror above it. He was not the prettiest of sights.
"Nice gown."
Deeks smiled and turned slowly away from the sink to face the source of the undoubted sarcasm.
"It does seem to be generating some interesting comments," he responded lightly, "I was wondering when you might get here."
"Hetty ordered me to get some sleep before I came to visit," Kensi explained, "It was a long night."
"You crash out?"
Kensi nodded sheepishly, a few locks of her hair falling forward to partially cover her face.
"Good," he answered.
For a moment they each simply stood looking back at the other in silence, then with the steadiest steps he'd made so far, Deeks closed the gap between them. Reaching out and brushing her dark hair back behind her ear, his fingers grazing slowly down the length of her neck, Kensi closed her eyes at the sudden familiarity of his touch and allowed herself to be pulled tightly against his warm body. Gently wrapping their arms around each other, Kensi buried her face in Deeks' shoulder and took all the comfort the position offered. The soft sound of her partner breathing in and out, the gentle rise and fall of his chest pressing firmly to hers was all that she needed right then.
Face resting against Kensi's silky brown hair, Deeks breathed in deeply allowing the scent to permeate up through his nose and into the whole his being. As one of the strongest triggers of memory, smell could evoke powerful and vivid images from the past, but for Deeks the thoughts which had been brought the to the forefront of his mind were of more recent times.
A warm evening where the temperature and tempo had steadily risen; where the need for clothes had confidently and pleasurably been dismissed; where all consuming kisses and fiery passions had peaked at a shared high which neither of them had wanted to come down from.
It had been the start of a wondrous weekend, one which would forever be seared into his memory with or without the soft scent of Kensi currently reminding him. Feeling his partner unashamedly holding onto him with equal want and need, Deeks smiled. The realisation that he didn't just have to content himself with thoughts of times already gone, but that he could now go forward and create new memories with this amazing woman, was one he would cling onto with both hands. Kensi had been his rock over the past week, her presence being his one light-giving constant. However, she had also been forced to witness the unravelling of his hopes, his fears, his past, and now this .
Opening his mouth to speak, the first sounds forming in his mouth, Kensi could sense what words were likely to be uttered and quickly beat him to it.
"Don't even think about apologising," she told him firmly and Deeks promptly closed his mouth once more as Kensi pulled back just enough to look into his blue eyes, "You scared the crap out of me, but..."
"I'm worth it?" he suggested, his words being emphasised by a small measure of hope. Hope that the words she had spoken to him late the night before were as real as she was right then; hope that this 'thing' really was what he thought it was between them; and hope that he actually was cared for to such a wonderful degree.
Kensi's face was impassive as she tried to read all that he emoted from that simple question. The eyes of a boy staring back from the face of a man.
"You are," she confirmed, her voice betraying the emotion she felt right at that moment. Closing the small distance between them, her hands rising to carefully cradle his face, she pressed her lips gently to his and slowly permitted the emotions to tumble forth into a kiss that left Deeks in little quandary as to her feelings for him.
Inhaling deeply as they parted Deeks was caught once more by a sharp jolt of pain to his ribs. Closing his eyes and frowning, his nostrils flaring in response, Deeks dropped his head forward as he concentrated on being able to breath. Kensi pressed a firm kiss to his forehead and spoke the words most men would gladly act upon.
"Come on, lets get you into bed,"
Deeks groaned, "I've got three cracked ribs and you're working blue, that's so not fair. Any chance we can fast forward to a point when I can actually do something more impressive with that comment, other than just whimper pathetically?"
Kensi laughed as Deeks eased himself onto the bed next to the bag which she had brought with her.
"So what's in the bag, Miss Blye?"
"I stopped by your place on the way and picked you up a few things," she replied.
"Thank you," he said appreciatively, "Don't suppose you've got anything that'll get me out of this gown?"
"Who's working blue now?" she retorted, her eyebrow hooked emphasising the playful expression she wore as she rummaged through the bag. Producing a Billabong t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants Kensi handed them over to her relieved and smiling partner.
"Any chance you can help?" he asked indicating to the neck of the gown where the two ends of material met. Kensi reached over his shoulder to untie the small knot and as the gown pooled at Deeks' waste she seemed to almost freeze in place as the full extent of his injuries became fully visible.
Every mark and contusion was progressing into a full bloom of colour and Kensi took in every one. They each told a story of what had occurred in the alleyway and of how close things were to being so vastly different. The images of Melissa Cameron's devastation flashed though her mind again and again, and from deep inside the urge to run made itself real once more.
"Hey," Deeks said, taking hold of her hands and pulling her towards him so that she stood between his knees, "You alright?"
Kensi nodded, but her eyes didn't leave his torso.
Deeks watched her carefully, it was rare for Kensi to exhibit such open and un-tempered emotion over something, or someone. Yes, he'd been hurt, but to make use of his partner's favourite phrase of choice, he was going to be fine. She should be teasing him, threatening him, insisting he was being a wuss, but instead he was being faced with this uncharted version of his partner. Okay, so this was the first time either of them had been injured since they broadened the definition of their relationship, but there was more to it, of that Deeks was sure.
"I'm okay," he insisted, "Or at least I will be."
Tucking more loose strands of hair back behind her ear, Deeks settled his hand on her cheek gently cupping her face and brought her dark brown eyes back up to meet the ocean blue of his.
"What's going on, Kens?"
"Nothing," she insisted with a slight smile, trying to inject an air of innocence to her words, but Deeks wasn't buying it.
"Fern," he warned.
"Not now, okay?" she asked, relenting. "I just need a little more time."
Remembering all the times recently that Kensi had given him the space he so desperately needed, Deeks nodded his acceptance and pulled her closer again so that his lips rested against the smooth, warm skin of her forehead. Something had clearly happened and despite it going against his usual persistent style he wasn't going to push and run the risk of her not telling him at all. This was important, this meant something to her, and it obviously wasn't going to be solved quickly and easily.
"Whenever you're ready," he murmured, softly accentuating his words with a kiss, "I'll be out of here tomorrow and then we've got all weekend to talk as much or as little as you want. I won't push, but I am going to ask you very nicely to tell me what's going on, okay?"
Kensi nodded, her head gently brushing against Deeks', as she wrapped her arms around his neck and found the comfort she needed once more as his arms encircled her back and held her to him.
TBC...