AN: Sorry for the late upload. I had this chapter all written out a few weeks ago, and literally, just before I was going to post it up. My laptop wanted to do a disk-cleanup. So I left it doing that while I went out, I came back and found that it had entirely wiped my laptop clean of all my documents, music, pictures. I've caught and killed the virus, luckilly. So, here's you very late chapter, I'm terribly sorry for the wait. Disclaimer: I don't own The Mortal Instruments. If I did, another actor would be playing Jace in the movie. *(Facebook And Other Shenanigans)* Alexander Lightwood
Also, just wondering, but has anyone had any trouble with the fanfiction messaging? I'm happily messaging with other fanfiction users, and then when I send something the other person doesn't get the message. And it seems like I'm ignoring them. I'm not, it's just the fanfiction messaging :P
Anyway, I hope you like this chapter, sorry for any spelling mistakes. I did double check, but there is a chance that some might have slipped past.
(Magnus 'sparkles' Bane, Simon and Eric like this)*(Facebook And Other Shenanigans)*
Alexander Lightwood- Make Me Walk, Make Me Talk, Do Whatever You Please. I Can Act like A Star, I Can Beg On My Knees. Come Jump In, Be My Friend, Let Us Do It Again. Hit The Town, Fool Around, Let's Go Party.
(Magnus 'sparkles' Bane, Simon and Eric like this)
*(Facebook And Other Shenanigans)*
Alexander Lightwood- I'm sexy and I know it. Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle. Alexander Lightwood Alexander Lightwood
(Simon, Clary Fray and Eric like this)
*(Facebook And Other Shenanigans)*
(Magnus 'sparkles' Bane, Clary Fray, Isabelle Lightwood and 6 other people like this)
Isabelle Lightwood- I love the change in lyrics.
(Jackass Jace likes this)
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(Eric and Maia like this)
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Simon- I love how my news feed is full up with someone posting through Alec's account. Whoever they are have an awesome sense of humour.
(Isabelle Lightwood, Clary Fray, Eric and 3 other people like this)
Clary Fray- I think it's obvious whose fraped his account XD
(Simon likes this)
*(Facebook And Other Shenanigans)* Alexander Lightwood
Alexander Lightwood- Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me.
(Isabelle Lightwood and Magnus 'sparkles' Bane like this)
Magnus 'sparkles' Bane- Noted. ;)
(Isabelle Lightwood and Clary Fray like this)
*(Facebook And Other Shenanigans)*
(Eric likes this)
Eric- Oh Alexander! I didn't know you were keeping these stupendous feelings within you!
Alexander Lightwood- I simply cannot keep them within any longer Eric, I love you with all my heart, soul and mind!
Isabelle Lightwood- Alec's going to be pissed when he comes back from Taki's
(Clary Fray likes this)
Eric- Alexander Gideon Lightwood! I have something to say!
Alexander Lightwood- Yes, my darling?
Eric- I love you! ;)
Alexander Lightwood- Crap, what shall I say now?
Eric- Keep with the fake bromance Jace! Idk, say "I love you" back, or…I know…Something horribly cheesy.
Alexander Lightwood- Oh Eric, this sudden announcement has made my heart halt in my chest! I'm feeling faint.
Eric- Don't hurt yourself my little buttercup. Come over to my house and become one with mother Russia.
Alexander Lightwood- Err, what the hell…But…okay…Oh Eric! But I have Magnus to think about!
Eric- Forget Magnus my darling, we can finally be together.
Alexander Lightwood- Oh crap in a bucket. Alec's back. Nobody tell him I did it.
Isabelle Lightwood- Hate to break it to you, but Eric mentioned your name back there…
(Clary Fray likes this)
Clary Fray- Recommendation: Hide. Fast.
*(Facebook And Other Shenanigans)*
Alexander Lightwood to Jackass Jace- I hate you.
(Magnus 'sparkles' Bane, Isabelle Lightwood, Simon and 9 other people like this)
Jackass Jace- Whatever do you mean, dear brother of mine?
Alexander Lightwood- I hate you. Not in the 'I hate you' way, but the 'I'm actually going to use your internal organs as cat-food' way. Did you know that mum checked out facebook to make sure we weren't up to something! I had to explain to her that: No, I'm not listening to inappropriate songs. No, I'm not dating Eric. And No, I don't think that he's a 'Sexy piece of man beef'
(Clary Fray and Simon like this)
Eric- You don't love me? :'(
Alexander Lightwood- No
Clary Fray- Why don't you change your password? Stop Jace getting into your account.
Alexander Lightwood- Slightly difficult when you have a warlock for a boyfriend who uses his powers to change your password to things like 'Malec4Ever' and 'Sparkles Are Cool' and somehow, my Jace still manages to get into my account. I think they're teaming up.
(Magnus 'sparkles' Bane likes this)*(Facebook And Other Shenanigans)*
Isabelle Lightwood likes the page We All Know A Short Person.
(Jackass Jace likes this)
Clary Fray- Hey!
Jackass Jace- It's not called short, it's funsized ;)
*(Facebook And Other Shenanigans)*
Magnus 'sparkles' Bane posted a picture in the album Chairman Meow's Christmas Outfit.
(Clary Fray, Isabelle Lightwood and Maia like this)
Isabelle Lightwood- Awww!
(Clary Fray and Maia like this)
Maia- I have to admit, that is rather cute.
(Clary Fray, Isabelle Lightwood and Eric like this)
Jackass Jace- Dude…is that Chairman Meow under all that tinsel? I surprised he can still breathe.
Magnus 'sparkles' Bane- Of course, what else would it be considering its named CHAIRMAN MEOW's Christmas 2012. A llama? My pet Donkey Pablo?
Eric- I like donkeys. :)
Jackass Jace- Gosh! What have I done wrong?
Magnus 'sparkles' Bane- You're such an idiot.
Simon- Oh Frickety Frack. Not this again. Quick, we need a diversion.
(Maia and Isabelle Lightwood likes this)
Isabelle Lightwood- Don't worry, I've got it.
Isabelle Lightwood- Church just vomited in your shoes, Jace. Just thought I'd let you know.
Jackass Jace- What! Again!
Isabelle Lightwood- Now he's hacked up a furball on your stele.
Jackass Jace- Be back online in a min guys.
Simon- Success.
(Clary Fray and Isabelle Lightwood like this)*(Facebook And Other Shenanigans)*
Jackass Jace- Ugh! Has anyone seen the thing?
(Simon likes this)
Simon- The thing?
Jackass Jace- Yeah, Maryse told me clean the living room with this thing. But I can't remember what she said. She's left the house and is back in an hour, she said she'll skin me alive if it isn't spotless.
Simon- The only 'The Thing' I know of is the 1982 film about a shape-shifting alien that torments a group of Scientists in the Antarctic by assuming the appearance of the people that it kills. It's a rather good film; it got a rating of 8.2 out of 10.
Jackass Jace- I highly doubt Maryse would want me to clean the living room with a Shape-Shifting alien…
(Eric likes this)
Simon- A common household cleaning device is a hover.
Jackass Jace- That's it! A hover. For once in your puny life, you've done something useful.
(Eric likes this)
Simon- …Thanks…
Jackass Jace- Wait a minute, is a hover meant to make that strange whirring noise?
(Isabelle Lightwood, Maia, Alexander Lightwood and 6 other people like this)
Clary Fray- Your room is spotless, yet you don't know how to work a hover…? What do you use to clean your room?
Jackass Jace- A toothbrush.
Clary Fray- Seriously?
Jackass Jace- Of course, the little bristles get into every nook and cranny. It works especially well if you dip it in some WD40 and rub it onto the door lock – Helps prevent it from getting rusty and hard to turn.
Clary Fray- So, you have a spare toothbrush that you use?
Jackass Jace- I think so, it's white with a little pink stripe down the side.
Isabelle Lightwood- THAT'S MY FREAKING TOOTHBRUSH YOU IDIOT! GO DIE! GO DIE NOW!
(Simon, Eric, Maia and 3 other people like this)
*(Facebook And Other Shenanigans)*
Babycakes- Magnus :(
(Magnus 'sparkles' Bane, Isabelle Lightwood, Raphael and 7 other people like this)
Magnus 'sparkles' Bane- I know you secretly love your new name.
Magnus 'sparkles' Bane- Babycakes ;)
Jackass Jace- Your names rather….uhh….
Babycakes- horrible, horrific, disgusting, vomit-worthy, awful, gross, repulsive…
Jackass Jace- Girly. It's even girlier than Justin Bieber and a basket full of kittens combined.
(Magnus 'sparkles' Bane and Clary Fray likes this)
Simon- Babycakes is the name of a film created in 1989.
Simon- It's about an overweight mortuary cosmetician who falls in love with a guy called Rob, a handsome subway train conductor who doesn't even know she exists.
Simon- It only got a rating of 5. A Pretty crap rating to be honest.
Babycakes- Thanks. That really makes me feel better.
*(Facebook And Other Shenanigans)*
Isabelle Lightwood- I think I've got a cold :(
Jackass Jace- Aww, bless your little Wal-Mart cotton-poly blend socks. Do you want some warm chicken soup? Rose scented tissues? A snuggly blanket.
Eric- You have Rose scented tissues?
(Simon likes this)
Isabelle Lightwood- If I wasn't feeling so crap, I would've dumped you in a bath of boiling water for that comment.
(Simon, Eric and Raphael like this)*(Facebook And Other Shenanigans)*
Isabelle Lightwood- Should I make a Christmas Cake this year?
(Jackass Jace, Eric, Raphael and 5 other people like this)
Jackass Jace- Please don't.
Isabelle Lightwood- Your opinion doesn't count. Last year when I made one, you said it was horrible.
Jackass Jace- That's because it WAS horrible.
Jackass Jace- Back me up here Alec! I'll text him to get his arse on facebook.
Isabelle Lightwood- Alec loves my homemade cakes.
Alexander Lightwood- I can't really join in at the moment, I'm busy…errr…
Magnus 'sparkles' Bane- Sorry, I'm busy stripping him of his clothes at the moment, I'll return him when we're finished.
Jackass Jace- Thanks for the mental image, Bane. Oh! And you've changed your name back Alec. Didn't you like Babycakes? ;).
(Maia likes this)
Jackass Jace- Anyway. Do. Not. Make. A. Christmas. Cake. Please.
Jackass Jace- I don't want the lower half to drop of my beautiful face, thank you. I smelt that vile soup you were making last night and now everything smells of gunpowder.
(Raphael and Maia like this)
*(Facebook And Other Shenanigans)*
Magnus 'sparkles' Bane- I just brought a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes for $600. I think I've got a special talent. Alexander Lightwood
(Isabelle Lightwood likes this)
Isabelle Lightwood- You. Did. Not!
Magnus 'sparkles' Bane- Of course I did darling; I used my sexy exotic charm and my black haired arm candy to get a discount. I'm the Queen of shopping.
Simon- $600. You've got to be kidding me. I wouldn't pay anything more than $50 for mine…
Magnus 'sparkles' Bane- That's because you're not as fabulous as I am.
(Isabelle Lightwood likes this)
Magnus 'sparkles' Bane- I've got a special talent for picking out bargains.
Eric- I've got a talent. :D
Magnus 'sparkles' Bane- Really? Care to share with us.
Eric- I can make cake and soda disappear faster than a speeding bullet, does that count?
(Simon, Jackass Jace and Raphael like this)
Jackass Jace- I can eat 7 hotdogs in a minute. ;)
(Eric likes this)
Eric- Wow!
Simon- Once I successfully managed to convince Iz that Pineapples grew on Pine trees.
(Eric and Jackass Jace like this)
Simon- And that you have to grow Watermelons in a gigantic fish tank, otherwise it would just be a normal Melon. XD
Jackass Jace- How badass.
(Simon likes this)*(Facebook And Other Shenanigans)*
(Isabelle Lightwood likes this)
Isabelle Lightwood- I haven't started cooking yet. So therefore it doesn't smell like my cooking…
Alexander Lightwood- That probably explains it.
(Jackass Jace and Magnus 'sparkles' Bane likes this)
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Jackass Jace to Raphael- I love you babe. You're beautiful, and I thought your hair looked lovely today – Tie up in a cute ponytail.
(Isabelle Lightwood likes this)
Raphael- I have a girlfriend, amigo. And my hair isn't long enough to tie up.
Jackass Jace- Holy Crap! I meant to send that to Clary. Ignore me Raphael – I'm not into Spanish vampires…errr…or guys for that matter. I'll leave that to Alec and Magnus.
(Magnus 'sparkles' Bane likes this)
Clary Fray- Oh Jace, you're so cute when you're flustered.
Jackass Jace- Well, I do try.
Clary Fray- I'm so lucky to have such handsome boyfriend.
Jackass Jace- And I'm so lucky to have such a stunning girlfriend.
Raphael- Not this again…
(Simon and Eric like this)
Raphael- Their sappy conversation is giving me a cavity. With a vampire for a girlfriend, it's none of this romantic crap, the conversation between me and Lavinia mainly consists of "This blood tastes a little tangy, how old is it?" or "I think my fangs a little blunt, can I test them out on your arm to see how sharp they are?" and finally "Do you want to have a romantic date down at the graveyard tonight? I'll bring the candles and blanket"
(Jackass Jace and Simon likes this)
Eric- Ah, true love.
Eric- You know the love is real when instead of having those fancy 'Wine-Tasting' sessions, you have 'Blood-Tasting' sessions.
(Raphael likes this)*(Facebook And Other Shenanigans)*
Magnus 'sparkles' Bane- Painting the bathroom the old fashioned way :D
(Clary Fray, Maia, Raphael and 5 other people like this)
Maia- The Old-Fashioned way?
Magnus 'sparkles' Bane- With a paintbrush, minus the magic :)
(Maia likes this)
Maia- Ah, sounds like fun.
Clary Fray- I can't imagine you up on those stepladders painting the walls, I'm surprised you're not scared about getting paint on your clothes.
Magnus 'sparkles' Bane- Technically, I'm not painting.
Magnus 'sparkles' Bane- Alec's doing the dirty work because Chairman Meows litter scoop costs more than his entire outfit. I'm sat on the toilet handing him paintbrushes and wiping paint from his face. I like watching him struggle.
Jackass Jace- Sadist. Also, I do hope the toilet seat is down.
Magnus 'sparkles' Bane- Of course.
Magnus 'sparkles' Bane- Alec's got paint in his hair and it looks rather good. I'm defiantly going to persuade him to get a lime green streak.
Raphael- You're painting your bathroom lime green? Estás Loquito?
Jackass Jace- I thought bathrooms were meant to be painted calming colours…
Jackass Jace- I mean, you go in there use the toilet, and it's like your relieving yourself in a giant slab of lime jello…
(Raphael likes this)
Raphael- In fairness, my bathroom is painted black.
Eric- Mines a terracotta colour with pale cream coloured tiles.
Eric- It's also got a shower curtain with ducks printed on it, if anyone's interested. Ducks wearing red Wellingtons.
Eric- My towels are purple.
Eric- And my weight scales have a sticker reading 'Forget Weight; Eat More Cake' written on it.
Eric- Oh! And my shower gel smells of 'Exotic Pine Forests' apparently, I think it just smells of shower gel.
Eric- If anyone's wondering why I have weight scales, it for my mum when she comes and visits.
Magnus 'sparkles' Bane- That's…lovely, Eric. It's not JUST lime green, it's also got a crystal chandelier with silver coloured floor tiles.
Isabelle Lightwood- Sounds fabulous! Only you can pull off having a chandelier in your bathroom XD
Magnus 'sparkles' Bane- Everything associated with me needs to be fabulous.
Jackass Jace- As 'fabulous' as Alec's sweaters? ;)
(Raphael, Eric, Simon and 1 other person like this)
Magnus 'sparkles' Bane- Yeahhhh…That area still needs a little more work…
*(Facebook And Other Shenanigans)*
There it is! I hope you liked this chapter. I realized part way through that poor Eric and Raphael were being left out. So I tired to include them both :)
But then again, I neglected Maia, so she'll have a cameo in the next chapter.
I like the idea of Eric having a cutesy shower curtain; I amuses me way more than it should ;)
Also, I changed the name. What If was just a temporary name.
Thank you to all those lovely people out there that have reviewed, I hope everyone's enjoying December, unless there are scrooges out there XD