A/N: Sorry for the delay ... someone needs to poke me with a stick if I don't update this story every couple of weeks at least. There is no excuse for it seeing how it's been done for months! I just get busy with real life.

Chapter 20

The next morning came too early for Lou. She had not slept well the night before, her mind working overtime as it thought about all the ways her life could have been different if she had just opened her eyes all those years ago. Then that would always bring up the thought that Buck had known all this time and had never said anything. He obviously didn't want her. Why would he? She was broken and damaged. Why would he want someone like her when he had Jenny waiting on him back in St. Joe?

Lou sighed as she dressed quickly for the day, for some reason she felt like putting on a petticoat in addition to her drawers. Normally she went without one but she thought maybe if she tried to look like a more respectable lady that Buck would see her as such instead of damaged goods. Maybe he would look at her like she did him. After she was dressed she climbed out of her wagon, her eyes seeking Buck. He was speaking to Nate on the other side of the camp. Lou quickly went about fixing breakfast for them.

Buck joined her shortly after the food was ready. He fidgeted nervously and would open his mouth as if to speak only to shut it again and look away. Lou's heart broke a little more each time.

Buck wanted to talk to Lou, to tell her everything but every time he opened his mouth to say what was in his heart he'd freeze. He was terrified of her rejection. He couldn't take it, not after all these years and she was so close to being his. He'd never recover if she rejected him now and for good. Buck sighed when Nate called the five minute warning. He would just have to wait until they made camp to tell her.

"We should be at the Green River by lunch," Buck said quietly.

"That will be good," Lou replied as she packed up her supplies and prepared to roll out.

Buck hitched up her oxen for her and then assisted her into the wagon seat, never noticing that the break on Lou's wagon had been tampered with.

Roger Weston sat in his wagon with an evil smirk on his face. He was going to teach that breed and uppity gal a lesson. The breed was going to learn nobody got the best of Roger Weston and that gal would learn that nobody said no to him when he wanted something, especially some no count girl who didn't know her place. He slapped the leads over the backs of his oxen as the wagon in front of him began to move. He'd be rid of them both by the end of the day if all went according to plan.

After travelling for a few hours the group arrived at the Green River well before lunch time. The process of ferrying the wagons across the river was a slow one but the Lombard Ferry had been operating for years and had the procedure down pat. Lou was not in a patient mood however. She wanted to get across that river now instead of having to wait her turn which happened to be the last wagon since Buck was staying on this side of the river until everybody was across, Nathan having gone across already to assist the families as they reached the other side. When she found out that the operators had jack up the price to sixteen dollars she really had no intention of paying it.

"Buck I'm going to drive the wagon across instead of taking the ferry. I ain't going to pay sixteen dollars just to take the ferry across," Lou said suddenly.

"Like hell you are," Buck declared.

"Buck you ain't going to tell me what I can and can't do," Lou argued.

"I ain't trying to tell you what to do Lou but you'd be a fool to cross the river in your wagon and you ain't no fool. Trust me on this Lou … I've seen too many people die on this river because they thought they could cross it. I know it appears slower than some of the other rivers we have crossed but it is still extremely dangerous. Please just take the ferry," Buck pleaded.

Lou looked at him and could see nothing but concern for her safety. "Alright, you win. I'll take the ferry. Still these people, ought to be ashamed of themselves, sixteen dollars?" Lou said.

Buck just smirked and walked off shaking his head. He had to help the next wagon load onto the ferry. Lou had been sitting by the river for a couple of hours already when lunch time rolled around. The operators took a break while everybody ate a light lunch. After lunch the wagons ahead of her where taken across the river.

Lou gave a grateful sigh when it was finally her turn. "Alright Lou let's get this wagon loaded," Buck said riding up next to her.

Lou drove her wagon onto the ferry and then set the break. She climbed down from the seat and with the help of Buck got her oxen unhitched and off the ferry.

"Alright I'm going to take the oxen on across. I'll be waiting for you on the other side," Buck stated giving her a small smile.

"I'll be there shortly," Lou replied as she got back onto the ferry.

She watched as Buck drove her oxen across the river from her perch on the wagon seat. When he had gotten to the other side the ferry began to move across the river. When they were about halfway across the current had picked up and caused the ferry to tip a little. The break that Lou had set should have held the wagon still and it would have if Weston hadn't tampered with it causing it to not lock the wheels. Lou felt the wagon shift and found herself falling into the moving river. She screamed as she plunged into the cold water, her skirts and petticoats wrapping around her legs making it impossible for her to swim. The heavy weight of the wet fabric dragged her under the water as she flailed with her arms.

Buck watched in horror as the love of his life fell overboard and disappeared beneath the water. "Lou! NO!" Buck shouted as he moved into action.

Buck ran along the bank, stripping his vest and shirt off as he went, before diving into the river swimming with all his might towards the spot where Lou would break the surface before disappearing underneath again. He reached the spot after what felt like an eternity and dove under the water. His hand closed around her wrist as he pushed for the surface of the water, pulling her with him.

He broke the surface and took in a deep breath as he pulled Lou up bringing her head above water. He struggled against the current and the weight of Lou's wet clothes as he swam for shore. Lou's skirts pulled at them weighing them both down. Buck felt them as they tangled against his own legs. He struggled to remain above water, to keep Lou above water. He refused to let her go even if it meant drowning himself. Buck was pulled under along with Lou when his strength failed him.