Author's Note: Hey guys, I apologize for the wait. I've been swamped with midterms. But I'm on spring break this week so hopefully I'll get some writing done! :)

Chapter 21

Doyle wanted one of his men to carry Maura out, but Jane refused, holding Maura closer to her body protectively, although she staggered a bit after carrying her for awhile. She wasn't letting go of Maura.

They had gotten around Frost and Sherwood somehow, made it through the back through a wooded area and reached a dark car that pulled away quickly. Now they raced through back roads. Jane still held Maura, cradling her in her lap. Maura kept shivering and Jane tried to keep her warm, holding her to her chest as tightly as possible, but making sure to note her bad shoulder.

"Do you have a blanket, Doyle? She's fucking shivering like crazy."

She almost smiled thinking about how Maura would scold her for cursing if she was awake.

Doyle looked back at them and shook his head, almost sadly. "We'll be there shortly."

Maura seemed smaller, lighter than usual, like she had lost weight. Jane tried to remember the last time she had held Maura, how she would recognize the loss. She just did.

She placed a lingering kiss on Maura's forehead, her eyes filling with tears. Maura was burning up. She looked very pale, and Jane was struck with the image of Maura's white face against the sheets when Jane had first seen her after she was shot. A jolt of fear ran through Jane's body.

"Doyle?" she called again to the front. "Maybe we should go to the hospital. I think she's getting worse and—"

"Jane, we can't. She's not safe there. I'm sure they have someone on watch just waiting for her to come into any of the hospitals in the area." Doyle turned around in his seat, holding Jane's gaze, willing her to trust him. "My doctor is very good. He's gotten people through much worse."

She saw only honesty in a man who she knew built his life dishonestly. She looked down at Maura, trying to sort out what was best for her, but didn't know what other option she had.

She kissed Maura on the forehead again, then clutched her limp body closer to her, bending down, her hair falling like a curtain, her arms a barricade around Maura, as if she was trying with all of her might to shield her from the world.

Jane paced back and forth outside of the room where Maura lay, waiting for the doctor to hopefully cure her. He had kicked Jane out, saying she was hovering too much, which had enraged her, but Doyle said the guy worked better when he didn't feel like he was under pressure, and had coaxed Jane out.

"You can go back in as soon as he's finished," he promised her. "Maura won't even know you're gone."

For some reason, Jane thought she would. She wrung her hands and sighed deeply in frustration at her uselessness. This was like the hospital all over again. How many goddamned times could she go through this? When was Maura just going to be okay? She slid back against the wall, head in her hands, trying to control her breathing, but again, it was difficult without those eyes to look into.

She tried to think of other things besides worrying about Maura, but her mind just wondered to the fact that she wasn't allowed to contact Frost and now he most definitely was freaking out, thinking they'd got captured, and her family was worrying, and that was all anybody needed.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," she said, almost like a lullaby, a way to release her frustration at all of the shit occurring in her life.

"Rizzoli?" someone suddenly said from beside her.

She startled and looked up to meet the doctor's gaze. She dropped her hands, palms out, as if a sacrifice, showing her willingness to do anything for Maura.

"How is she?"

"She spiked a high fever because her wound was getting infected, mainly because she'd been off the antibiotics for awhile, but also because she was moving around a lot, needed to clean her bandage more often."

"Okay, how bad is that? Is she going to be okay?"

Jane bounced on the balls of her feet. She just needed to know if Maura was going to be alright.

"I have to keep an eye on her, but yes she should be fine with a steady stream of antibiotics. I just gave them to her, plus some fluids and pain meds."

"So, it's looking good?" Jane said, her voice rising in relief.

"Yes, Jane, she'll be fine. She mainly just needs to rest," he said her first name almost as if this would pacify her so she would stop asking him questions and release him. He was already turning to walk away from her as he said this.

She bolted into Maura's room, excitement and hope rushing through her, but stopped short at the sight of Maura lying still in the bed. Maura's arm was bandaged almost as heavily as the first time Jane had walked in to see her after she was shot, and she looked just as tiny and pale as she had. And so still.

It was like the nightmare all over again.

Jane was suffocating, she couldn't breathe. She couldn't handle this. She couldn't do this again, almost lose Maura again. She wanted to run, but she ran towards Maura, gripping the edge of the bed, trying to hold the tears back, trying to take comfort in the fact that Maura was breathing, her heart was beating, but she couldn't stop thinking about how Maura looked just as bad as she had before she woke up from the gunshot wound. How had they come full circle?

Because Jane hadn't protected her like she promised, like Maura had counted on her to. She tried to soothe herself with the doctor's reassuring words but the sight before her washed them all away. She really needed Maura to wake up.

Jane collapsed at the edge of her bed on her knees, unable to stand up any longer. She took Maura's hand, rubbing circles in it over and over, her head pressed down into the blankets, trying to drown out the sound of her own crying.

She only lifted her head up at the squeeze of her palm, the voice that might as well have come from an angel by the shock and joy that radiated through Jane at the sound.

"Jane. It's alright."

Maura was working to open her eyes, knocked out by the pain meds Jane assumed, but her grip on Jane's hand was strong.

"Don't cry, sweet girl. Please don't cry," she said, her voice raspy. "I'm fine. I'll be alright, as long as you're here."

"I'm not going anywhere," Jane managed to get out. "Never, ever again. Promise."

Then she slowly bent over and gently kissed Maura, ran her fingers through her hair.

Jane was so exhausted. She was very tempted to sleep at Maura's bedside, but now that she was sure Maura was conked out, she went to find Doyle and figure out what was going on with the plan of figuring out who was trying to kill them.

She found him in the kitchen, hovered over a table, talking to a few men. She interrupted him and he took in her tone and attitude and begrudgingly told his crew to leave. She questioned him without any niceties. Jane didn't care, though she knew if Maura was there she'd probably grab her arm, try to stop her confident step.

"I got men watching them from all angles, Rizzoli."

"So do we. Have for days."

"And you ain't got jack shit."

"Well, looks to me like you haven't either."

Doyle stood up straighter, turning to face her. He crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes.

"We got the intel about them probably wanting Maura dead as well."

At the words "Maura" and "dead" next to each other, Jane felt an involuntary chill snake down her spine.

"How solid is that?" She tried not to let her voice quiver the way her insides were.

"If you're asking if we overheard it directly, we didn't. But the way they went through her apartment, we know how criminal gangs think...and there was general talk of 'handling' a cop and then right after that they said something about 'taking care of the other woman'. Doesn't sound good to me. What about you?"

He looked at her, eyebrows raised, almost in a challenge.

Jane nodded, because she didn't trust herself to speak. She couldn't believe this shit. How had she gotten both of them into this? Now they were hiding out in one of the safe-houses of Maura's mob boss father. She'd royally fucked up with this case. It just had spiraled out of her control. She had underestimated this gang, didn't think they would be so tight-lipped, so hard to crack, so vengeful, so dangerous. And she'd put Maura in the line of fire. Literally.

"Goddamn it!" she yelled, slamming her fist on a nearby table. It just came roaring out. She was as surprised at her outburst as Doyle was. He raised his eyebrows at her again, then began to walk out of the room.

Jane fell into a chair, her head in her hands.

"Doyle?" She called after him.

She heard his footsteps stop. She looked up and he had turned around, facing her.

"Please. Please figure this out."

Her voice was vulnerable, but she didn't care. Maura's life was more important than her pride. She saw Doyle's eyes change, lighter than she'd ever seen them, something on the boarder of compassion. He held her gaze, nodded.

"And let me know what I can do."

With that he turned away, waving a hand at her as if sloughing her off.

Jane walked back into Maura's room to find her restless and uncomfortable, struggling to sit up and look around, her eyes wide and confused.

"Jane? Jane!"

The sound of Maura's voice, so scared and helpless made Jane stumble back for a moment. Then she rushed over to Maura, quick to grab her one shoulder and lightly push her back against the pillows.

"Maura, shhh, it's okay. I'm here, sweetheart, I'm here."

At her voice, Maura's eyes wandered around the room more until they met Jane's. Jane saw much of the panic drain from them, a small smile of relief play on her lips.

"Jane, you're here."

"Yes, right here," Jane said, as she sat down on the bed and squeezed Maura's hand.

"Where were you?"

Maura seemed really out of it, more than she had when she'd woken up the first time. But she should be getting more lucid right?

"I was just in the other room, talking to Doyle. Just for a second."

Maura looked up at her, very perplexed.

"Doyle?"

Jane's heart beat faster, and she reached over to touch Maura's forehead. It was warm, but not nearly as much as before. She sighed a little in relief, and bent over to plant a kiss on her forehead, to feel her temperature again, and just to feel her. Maybe she was out of it from the pain meds? She would have to talk to the doctor.

She pulled away and Maura's eyes were closed, her hand almost limp in Jane's.

"That's it, get some sleep, Maur," Jane whispered, wishing she could do the same herself, but knowing she wouldn't until she was sure Maura was alright. She stayed until she was positive Maura was completely asleep, then went to find the doctor.

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