June 1992-November 1992

She didn't want to be jealous. She wanted to be happy, how could she not be happy? Phoebe was an amazing roommate and things were going great with Kip. Chandler lived next door and was seemingly also very happy but there was a problem. It was Chandler and Phoebe and since the moment Phoebe had moved in, Chandler and Phoebe seemed to be joined at the hip. They went out every Friday and Saturday night and were often out until four in the morning and when they weren't out, they were cuddled up together on her couch watching movies. Phoebe would laugh as Chandler would lecture her on movie plot points. It killed her every single time she saw them, something bubbled inside her and she knew she could never explain it to Kip. He'd get annoyed. She was thrilled for Ellie and Laurie, thrilled they were still in her life. They were the only ones she felt would understand.

"Why do they have to be out every night, you know? And they get home at like four am and it's….they wake me up….what are they even doing?" Monica asked over drinks and dinner with Ellie and Laurie.

"Someone is jealous," Laurie said.

"I'm not...it's just and they don't invite me anywhere. Phoebe got a new job at this massage place and Chandler took her to celebrate and they didn't invite me and-they will get home late."

"Monica, you have a boyfriend," Ellie said.

"I know."

"And they're both single….so what's the problem?" Ellie asked.

"Nothing...it's just…"

"I know,' Laurie said.

"What?" Monica asked.

"You don't want him to move on. You want him to focus solely on you and his focus is now on Phoebe and maybe he's moving on...have they hooked up yet?" Laurie asked.

"I don't know. I-I don't know," Monica said, which made her worry more. What if they did hook up? What if they dated? What if they got married? This would be too much for her. She couldn't deal with that and when she got home that night, sure enough neither Phoebe nor Chandler were home and it wasn't until 4:30 in the morning when she was woken up by giggling and whispering outside her bedroom. She looked over at Kip sleeping soundly next to her. She slowly got up and walked towards the door, cracking it open, she noticed Phoebe and Chandler holding onto each other, both still drunk. Phoebe was fumbling around looking for glasses and Chandler grabbed a couple bottles of wine from the fridge and began opening up drawers.

"Where's the opener," Chandler whispered.

"Up your ass," Phoebe shot back and the two began giggling. Monica felt invisible, standing there in the dark watching them.

"You're up your ass," Chandler said.

"That's a trick. You are so drunk."

"I know. You need more al-cow-hole."

"What? I can't even look at you right now," Phoebe said, laughing, trying to cover her mouth.

"What are you guys doing?" Monica asked, walking towards them. They jumped, both suddenly becoming aware of her.

"Monica, sorry did we wake you?" Phoebe asked.

"It's fine Where were you tonight?" Monica asked.

"Chandler took me to a club opening in the meat packing district."

"What's my name? Wanna see the meat I'm packing. It's in my pants," Chandler said, laughing at his own joke.

"You are such an idiot," Phoebe said, laughing.

"You know, Pheebs….he really shouldn't be drinking this much," Monica said.

"He's fine. I'm sorry. I'm gonna-we're gonna go up to the roof. We'll let you sleep. Come on, Bing. Show me your meat," Phoebe grinned as she grabbed a wine opener out of the drawer and then grabbed Chandler's arm.

"I am packing meat in my pants," Chandler was cracking up as Phoebe dragged him out of the apartment. Monica felt herself wanting to cry. She turned and noticed Kip standing in the doorway.

"What the fuck was that?" Kip asked, clearly angry.

"Just another night."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. You know, maybe we should go out with them? It would be fun."

"No. I don't wanna...we work and...no."

Monica nodded and walked back towards her room. She and Kip lay back in bed, Kip fell back to sleep immediately while she lay there, thinking of Phoebe and Chandler, on the roof, laughing, drinking more and a feeling of sadness took over. She wanted to be up there, wanted to be part of them but she wasn't sure if they wanted her to be part of them.

She had heard about Chandler's attempt at doing stand up from Phoebe, the day after he had done it. Phoebe had gone on and on about how amazing he had been, how funny he was but all Monica could hear was that neither she nor Kip had been included. She tried to smile and be happy, but her heart ached. He had done stand up and she had not been invited.

"Why weren't we invited?" Monica asked over a couples dinner with Kip, Ross and Carol.

"Why does it bother you so much?" Kip asked.

"Because….I mean, Chandler is funny and that would have been amazing to watch him up there and...and...and they go out all time-"

"Well, I can see why they wouldn't wanna hang out with us. We're the old couples," Ross grinned.

"We're not that old, Ross. But wouldn't you have wanted to see that? Kip? Carol?"

"Probably not. How many jokes do you think he made at our expense," Kip said.

"Oh G-d…I don't even think I want to know," Ross grinned.

"And Ross, I never thought I'd actually agree with you on this….but he really is an alcoholic. How many times in one week can one man be hung over," Kip said.

"I'm telling you," Ross said.

"It 'cause he hangs out with Phoebe every single night and then they get wasted or Chandler gets wasted," Monica stressed.

"Well, it seems to me that Phoebe is enabling him. Does she know he might have a problem?" Carol asked.

"Doubt it. She was homeless for ten years and she didn't see the crap we saw," Ross said. Monica let out a sigh, it was upsetting her. It upset her that the other three didn't seem to care, but it upset her, it angered her and when she and Kip got home that night, they ran into Phoebe and Chandler who were dressed up and seemingly on their way out.

"Where are you guys going?" Monica asked.

"Um...where am I going Chandler?" Phoebe asked.

"There's a club in Manhattan that's supposed to be amazing," Chandler said.

"Are you going to be doing anymore stand up?" Monica asked.

"Oh no, no," Chandler said.

"Why didn't you invite us to that?" Monica asked.

"Oh, you would have hated that," Chandler grinned as he grabbed Phoebe's hand and the two walked off, "see, you guys later."

Monica watched as they disappeared and stormed back into her apartment. Tears were falling down her face as Kip was staring at her.

"What is wrong with you?"

"We are missing so much, Kip. They're out and having and-"

"But they're being stupid and young….and who cares?"

"I care. It's not fair and-"

"Wait, wait….is this...do you think Chandler and Phoebe are dating?"

"Well, don't you?"

"I don't care and I don't think you should. What's the big deal if they're dating?"

"Nothing...no, you don't get it."

"No, I think I do. If he's dating Phoebe, he's no longer interested in you."

"No, I don't want him interested in me. That's fine if he's dating Phoebe."

"Mon, we're adults and we have jobs and if Chandler and Phoebe wanna act like they're drunken college students, then let them. I don't want to act like that anymore and besides they don't like us. I've apologized and I've tried to be nice to Chandler, he's not willing to do the same."

"Phoebe likes me."

"Really?"

"Okay, I'm a little neater than she is but…."

"Mon...let go."

Monica nodded and took a deep breath. She knew she needed to let go, but she wasn't sure how.

She was thrilled however when Chandler had asked her and Kip to join him and Phoebe for the July 4th Weekend. He had also invited Ross and Carol. She could imagine how fun that would be, they could barbeque and hang out on the beach and watch fireworks but it was quickly dashed. Ross wanted to take Carol to Vermont and Kip had surprised her with a trip to the Hamptons. A trip she should have been thrilled about but instead felt sad, Phoebe and Chandler would be spending the holiday weekend together. She tried not to be unhappy about this, tried to hold herself together, her boyfriend was taking her away and it would be fun but she could not stop thinking about Chandler and Phoebe, what were they doing?

"Why are you not happy?" Kip asked as they lay side by side on the beach. She knew she looked miserable.

"I'm not."

"You're in the Hamptons….do you know how much I spent on this trip?"

"I know….it's just, what do you think Phoebe and Chandler are doing? We should have gone with them?"

"Why? I don't want to spend time with Chandler, the guy acts like an ass towards me."

"I know and I'm happy...I am. I'm so happy that you put this together and maybe I just feel guilty or bad. It's good he's moved on and he and Phoebe would make a cute couple," Monica tried.

"You know, I was thinking maybe I should move into your place and Phoebe could move in with Chandler."

"No, no...we're not married."

"So?"

"They're not stable enough to be together. They need us to keep from you know going off the edge."

"You don't want to live with me?"

"Well, I think we're too young."

"Fine."

Kip was upset. Monica didn't want him to be upset but she couldn't stop thinking about them, about Phoebe and Chandler and imagining them together, holding hands, kissing. She could imagine them and nothing she did could erase it.

As summer turned to fall, the distance between herself and Phoebe and Chandler seemed like it got bigger. During Halloween, Monica was horrified as Chandler dressed as a pirate and Phoebe as a wench and they went off to some party thrown by a friend of Chandler's from high school. Although, the true kicker came during Thanksgiving, Monica had thought Phoebe and Chandler would join them but first Phoebe had said no and the reason, she'd be spending it with Chandler.

"But...Pheebs, it'll be fun and it'll be boring to stay here by yourself," Monica tried as Phoebe informed her of her plans.

"I'll be with Chandler and Monica, I haven't celebrated Thanksgiving in over ten years and...I don't even eat meat."

"Chandler doesn't eat Thanksgiving food. I make him mac and cheese and grilled cheese sandwiches."

"Look, it'll be better. You'll have so much more fun with Kip and Chandler and I are so boring and we'll probably get drunk and eat crap."

"Pheebs….look...I just….I don't…"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah...I just don't like when Chandler drinks so much. I actually think he might have a drinking problem."

"Hmmm, well, he's good with me. He's always protecting me and I'll take care of him. I will let nothing happen to him. I love that guy."

"Me too."

"Mon, do you have a crush on Chandler?"

"No. No, I don't. But you know, okay...well, if you're going to stay here alone then let me show you how I expect my place to run-"

"Monica."

"What? You didn't put the glasses in numerical order yesterday."

"Because I don't care."

"You should and you left your towel on the floor this morning and-"

"Monica, I am not going to burn down the apartment."

"I know but if you and Chandler have a party and-"

"We will be fine. We are adults, we won't have a party and….I wanna stay here. I wanna see my old friends that I haven't seen since I moved here. Maybe I'll see Duncan. I think he's in town."

"Oh yeah, your boyfriend from the streets."

"Well, he never lived on the streets. But don't worry about me or Chandler...it's better this way."

"How?"

"Because it will be. You should be with your boyfriend and your brother and your sister in law."

Phoebe smiled and squeezed Monica's hand before getting up and walking into her room and shutting the door behind her. Monica took a deep breath and walked out of her apartment and into Chandler and Kip's apartment. She looked at Kip's closed door and immediately walked towards Chandler's room and opened the door. He was laying on his bed, reading.

"You're missing Thanksgiving again?" Monica asked. He had missed Thanksgiving the previous year as well. Maybe she could convince him to come, maybe she could change his mind and he would change Phoebe's.

"I'm gonna hang out with Phoebe," Chandler said, putting down his book.

"But...it's Thanksgiving."

"Well, first...you know I hate Thanksgiving and second...I'd rather not go and be the fifth wheel."

"It's just...I was really hoping you'd come. I want...you...I mean, what are you and Phoebe going to do?"

"I don't know...but she doesn't really celebrate Thanksgiving either."

"Chandler...can I ask you something?" Monica had to know, she wanted to ask.

"Of course."

"Is something going on between you and Phoebe?" Monica asked.

"What?" Chandler asked, giving her a look.

"Well, you two went to that Halloween party dressed in a couples costume-"

"I wanted to be a pirate and Phoebe was my wench."

"You're gonna be alone with Phoebe and...I mean...well, okay...I don't think it would be a really good idea for you to date my roommate," Monica said.

"Excuse me?" Chandler asked.

"Well...it would be awkward if you broke up. I don't-"

"Monica, you're dating my roommate."

"It's totally different."

"How?" Chandler asked.

"It just is."

"Are you jealous?" Chandler asked.

"Oh, G-d no...I think it would be better if you didn't...if you...I think you should spend Thanksgiving with us."

"I don't want to," Chandler said. "You're jealous. Monica, you're in a relationship. Phoebe and I are friends."

"But...well-"

"Nothing will happen between Phoebe and I."

"I'm not jealous," Monica said as she stared at the floor. She seemed to suddenly be very fascinated by the floor. "I-I just-"

"Mon...you know I love you. You're my favorite girl in real life."

"I know. I know...we should've spent the Fourth with you."

"Yeah...I miss you. I moved across the hall 'cause you wanted me to."

"I know. Can-can we have lunch next week?" Monica asked.

"Of course," Chandler said as Monica nodded as she walked out of his room. Just as she walked out of the room, Kip opened the door to his room and looked at Monica, curiously.

"What are you doing?"

"I just wanted to know about Thanksgiving. Chandler and Phoebe are staying here."

"Yeah….so?"

"Just wanted to ask a question," Monica smiled at Kip. She walked towards him and gave him a kiss. "Don't worry. I'm happy. I'm letting go. I'm gonna go pack."

Monica walked out of the apartment and went to pack. She soon left for Long Island with Kip, Ross and Carol. She tried her best to enjoy herself but there was a tension that was beginning to show, Kip was now seemingly distancing himself from her and she knew why but there was a part of her that just didn't care. She wanted desperately to be back in New York, doing whatever Phoebe and Chandler were doing.