FF_1/25/2009

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI.

A/N: More nightmares. Sorry, the happy chapters will come - just not now.

Remember My Name

He smirked at the memory. "And don't worry, I didn't hit him back."

Nick's eyes fluttered, his injuries catching up with him. "'S good," he slurred. "Sorry Billy, so sorry." His eyes closed as he fell back to sleep.

Billy's face twisted in pain as he murmured, "That f—kin' asshole. I'll never forgive him for what he did to Nick." He gently slid his hand under Nick's shaking left hand. He slumped into the seat next to Nick's bed. Looking across at Maria, he gestured toward Nick's other hand.

"You must be Maria," he forced a smile.

Maria smiled and nodded as she slid her hand under Nick's right. "Sorry to be meeting under these circumstances," she murmured, her attention on Nick.

Billy nodded. "Hey, Chris," he said. "It's good to see ya cuz."

"You too, Billy." Chris said. "I'll let you sit with him. I'll be in the Waiting Room."

"Let us know when he wakes again," Brass said gruffly. "Stay outta trouble," he growled at Billy.

Billy choked on a laugh and said, "You got it, boss."

Brass and Chris walked into the Waiting Room. Ashley and Calleigh rushed to Chris's side.

"Is it really Billy?" Ashley asked, grabbing Chris's arm.

"Yeah," Chris replied. "He scared the crap out of us, though." He looked at Ashley. "Did you know Nick and he kept in touch?"

"No," Ashley replied. "Nick has refused to talk about Billy since… since Billy left college."

"There's more to that story than anyone's heard," Calleigh said quietly. "Nick let it slip one time that he felt responsible for what happened to Billy. He clammed up when I asked him about it, though."

"I've never heard him talk about Billy," Chris said. "If I brought him up, Nick changed the subject."

Calleigh looked around. "Ash and I will go get dinner. What does anyone want?"

Sara quietly offered to go with them. As they stood waiting for their order in the Chinese restaurant, Calleigh nudged Sara's shoulder.

"Didn't we just see that guy in the ICU Waiting Room?" She nodded her head at a young man being seated.

As Sara looked over, the young man seemed to catch sight of them. He smiled and nodded, like you do to someone you've seen several places but never met.

"He probably has someone in ICU," Ashley said. "This is the closest Chinese place to the hospital."

"Y'all're right," Calleigh sighed as she nodded back. "I'm probably being paranoid."

The rest of the excursion went without incident and the three women returned to the hospital with the food.

Nick stared fearfully at his father. He'd gathered the whole family for a 'talk'. Nick was sure this couldn't be good.

It'd been two days since the incidents in the barn with Billy and his father. Nick was scared because he hadn't heard anything from his older brother. Billy always called when he got back to college.

"Your brother's in trouble," Judge Stokes began. "He was stopped on his way back to school. The police found drugs in his car." He stared straight at Nick.

Nick paled and swallowed hard. All he could think was that Billy didn't do drugs. He knew that and judging from his father's stare, he knew that too. This had to do with him, with Billy trying to help him.

"Because the judge knows me, knows our family, Billy has a choice. He can either go into the military with no record or he can go to jail. Billy's chosen to join the Navy." The Judge watched Nick carefully. Their eyes met and held for a moment. Nick knew that now he was on his own. He fought the tears and guilt back. He had to be strong.

Nick headed for the barn when the Judge dismissed them to do their chores. He wasn't surprised when his father followed him there. He held in his cry of pain when his father grabbed his arm roughly. He shook him, then jerked him close.

"Are you happy now?" The Judge shook him again. Nick wanted to cry out from the pain in his arm where his father held it in an iron grip. But he knew it would do no good and might actually enrage him more. "You ruined your brother's life. Now he has no chance at college. All his dreams are gone because of you. And there's no way you can make it up to him. As a matter of fact, you won't even get to see him. He'll spend his leaves on base until further notice." Another shake and the Judge released him so he fell into the stall door. "So are you happy?"

Nick shook his head no. He lay where he'd fallen, running his hand over his sore arm and watching his father warily.

Nick resignedly leaned forward and pulled his shirt up when he saw his father unbuckle his belt. He made no sound as he was struck ten quick strikes.

After his father left, Nick forced himself to work quickly on the stalls. When his hands started shaking badly, he closed his eyes and remembered his brother's hands supporting his. It didn't make the shakes go away, but it did calm them drastically.

Nick held himself together through dinner, knowing that any reaction from him could set his father off again. So he choked down as much as he could and left as soon as he thought he could get away with. He didn't dare be the first one to leave, but after Ashley and Lynn left, it was safe.

Nick made his way to his room and closed the door. He didn't know how he felt as he sat on his bed. The grief he felt at the loss of his brother warred with the guilt flooding him at being the cause.

Tears filled his eyes as he thought of what Billy was going to be going through. He whispered out loud, "I'm sorry Billy. I'm so sorry," over and over, rocking himself on his bed, knees to his chest.

A/N: Reviews please! :)