Dude, I Seriously Don't Feel Good
By ilovemyboys
Chapter 21: Facing Fears Part II
Authors Note: ONLY ONE MORE CHAPTER AFTER THIS!
DREAMLAND:
MASTER SPLINTER'S POV:
What a strange place…I thought as my deep meditation brought me to my pain-stricken son's mind. Looking around the darkness with smoke billowing out from nowhere in particular, thereby forming a smoke screen, I could make out dim light from three points. Carefully taking in my surroundings I took a step forward. As I did so the dim lights became clearer and I could now make out three tunnels.
Hmmm…I feel nothing from where I stand, but I sense there is a meaning behind these tunnels. Perhaps each showcases an inner-
BOOM! A loud crash suddenly sounded from the tunnel directly in front of me. Knowing my son may very well be in danger, even in his own mind, I ran forward, and into the tunnel.
PRESENTLY:
"He's been gone for 10 minutes!" Raph yelled angrily.
"Raph! We don't know how long this will take," Leo responded testily. The toll of all this stress was getting to him and he just wanted to go to sleep, but couldn't. He wouldn't. And although he was considered the most relaxed of the turtles, especially in dangerous life situations, he wasn't holding it in today. Neither were the others. Having no idea what had happened to their carefree brother the last few days was starting to take a toll on them. First, they thought he was simply sick, from who knows what, but it happens. Then, he began to get steadily worse. And now…who knew what was going to happen to him.
Raph got up and started pacing, again.
"Urrrr. Don! You sure you don't know any reason-"
"I told you all my possible theories, but none are 100 perfect accurate Raph!" Don snapped.
Donatello had been wrapping his brain around all the possible sicknesses Michelangelo might have and although he came to a few conclusions, he really didn't know the answer. In the same way Leonardo would blame himself for not protecting everybody every second, Donatello put the pressure of being the only one with any medical knowledge whatsoever, which wasn't a whole lot by his standards, who could find a cure for their brother's sickness. Which in turn got him to turn into a very snappy turtle as his brothers constantly asked him questions while he pondered any possible solutions.
"We're sorry Don," Leo spoke quietly as he put a hand on his brother's shoulder. "We're just worried."
"I know," Don replied softly. Even he couldn't hold onto his anger that long.
"Maybe if we meditate it will help," Leo offered.
"I can't meditate right now Leo," Don responded, trying to hold in a remark of "This isn't the time!"
"Meditation can bring about the answers we seek," Leo quoted Splinter, reading Don's thoughts.
Don said nothing for a moment. Then, "Fine. But I will be focusing on finding answers to this problem."
"Right," Leo said. Then he turned to Raph. "You in?"
"Shell yeah I am," Raph growled.
"Alright. Then let's do this."
DREAMLAND:
As I ran toward the roaring sounds they became clearer.
Eruptions.
Hurrying faster toward the noise I made my way out into an open meadow to showcase a beautiful landscape, had there not been a rather large spiral in the sky shooting out flares to the ground. Turning my head to the side I noticed a carnival…hit quite badly by the flares blasts.
A good place to start.
Heading toward it I began to notice a dark swirl in the sky right above the tallest ride. Getting closer towards that destination my senses heightened as I looked up and barely avoided an attack by that nightmare sky.
This certainly feels real. What my poor son must be going through…
Quickening my pace I made it toward the carnival.
"STOP! DO NOT COME ANY FARTHER," a booming voice called from the sinister black swirl in the sky.
"Do not talk to me works of evil!" I spat as I continued running.
"You cannot change what has happened…Your sons are finished."
What did it say?
Frowning, I continued running, "You're words are nothing but lies in Michelangelo's mind. You have no power here!"
"Ahhh, but I do…Michelangelo is already in my grasp…"
"What evil monstrosity are you?" I shouted.
"That is none of your concern. Leave now. There is no hope left for your son."
"Be gone evil! You're words have no effect on me!"
"Very well…but you will see for yourself the truth…" The dark voice trailed away as I reached my destination.
Looking around I saw various human beings lying on the ground. Battered and bruised. Some in even worse shape.
What kind of evil has come into Michelangelo's mind? I must find the source of all this…
Making my way through the carnival I began to hear sobbing. Walking toward the noise I looked around a corner to see-
"My son!"
Michelangelo's bleary eyes shot up to look at me.
"Sen-sei?" He croaked.
I ran toward Michelangelo and held him tight. "I am here Michelangelo…" I spoke softly. It was then I noticed Raphael lying on the ground beside him.
Oh no…
"Raph's been…" Michelangelo croaked as he stared at his brother.
"K…killed…"
"He has not my son. This is all a dream."
"How can you prove that?" He looked up at me again.
It has been some time since I saw my most lively son be so torn down. I will stop this menace.
"Trust me my son. I have just come from the real world. This is not real," I held him closer. "Do you trust me Michelangelo?"
He sniffed. His weary eyes looked up at me as he nodded.
"Good. Then we will leave this nightmare. But first, we need to destroy what is causing all this terror or it will attack you again."
"If it's a dream Sensei, can't you just…get me out?"
"If only it were that simple my son…I had my doubts, but now I am sure. There is evil at work here."
Michelangelo's eyes widened in horror. Then he looked down sadly.
I quickly added, "It has nothing to do with you Michelangelo. Something has entered your mind and is preying on your worst fears."
"It has?" He asked softly.
"Yes. I am certain it has to do with that dark swirl in the air. The words that came out of it were filled with nothing but evil intent."
"You heard it then too?" His eyes widened.
"Yes…What has it told you my son?"
He looked down.
"Michelangelo…do not worry. All it seems capable of is telling lies. Lies, my son…"
"Well…" he sniffed. "It told me that I was responsible for Raph's….d…d…death…" He gulped, taking in a breath. "And Leo and Don's injuries… It said…they wouldn't be able to fight again…"
That monster!
"That is no true my son. They are eagerly awaiting your return back home."
"Really?" He looked up at me hopefully.
"Yes. In fact I bet right now they're-"
"Enough! Be gone you fowl filth! I have no need of your presence here," the snarling voice spoke again.
"Leave demon!" I yelled. "You're lies and darkness cannot live in such light for long!"
"We shall see...I believe Michelangelo agrees with what I have said on some part, do you not, Michelangelo?"
I turned to my son. He looked on in fear and sorrow at the voice. His expression one of shock.
"You see? He can't even defend himself."
"You monster! Get away! Michelangelo!" I grabbed my son's shoulders, turning him to me as I looked him in the eye. "Be brave! Stand up to this invader in your mind! He is trying to destroy you from the inside!"
Michelangelo looked at me with a blank stare.
"My son…this monster is nothing more than a trick from the evil one, preying on your strongest emotions. Do not let it win Michelangelo!"
He continued to stare at me blankly.
Oh no, I must do something.
"Hamato Splinter! I am quite tired of your interfering. Be gone, and never return!"
Suddenly blasts from the clouds above came down as I dodged them once again.
This was much easier when I was younger. Although it is a dream-(cringe) I can still feel the strain of it all-(Gasp!) Michelangelo!
I turned around to face my son, just in time to grab him away from the nearest blast.
"Michelangelo, look at me!" I shook his shoulders, staring at him at eye level.
He slowly looked up at me.
"You are good..."I spoke gently. "You are useful...you are alive…your brothers are alive…you are a wonderful son…and are not responsible for any of this…Do you understand?"
It looked like clarity was finally coming back to him as a smile crept along his-
"Ahhh!" I yelled, falling to the ground as a blast hit me from behind.
Can't…move…
"Hamato Splinter…I warned you not to interfere…now your demise will come at long last…"
Noooo…Michel…an..ge…lo…
"Say farewell to your family."
Whatever is coming…I will take it gladly for my family!
As another flare came from the sky, and the light and heat came toward me, I knew it was coming to end. Given I would not die, I may not be able to get back into my son's mind.
Michelangelo…stay strong…
"NO," I heard a defiant voice speak nearby. The heat and light from the oncoming blast immediately turned into harmless smoke in the air with a "hiss" as if it were hit by a giant waterfall.
"What is this!" The voice shouted in fury.
"You will NOT harm my family or me any longer."
I saw to my side Michelangelo slowly, and painfully, stand up. Glaring at the voice.
"You are nothing but lies and misery…And I will take you down! One way or another…"
"This can't be! You were struck down!"
"Apparently not enough. I'm still standing aren't I?"
I had only witnessed Michelangelo's great bravery when his family was in danger. And here he brought up the courage again to bring it to light.
"Not for long!" The voice bellowed, and as if getting ready to shoot another blast a sudden gust of wind hit it with a SLAM!
"Ahh! What is this!" It cried.
"The power of my mind…" Michelangelo smiled. "And if you don't want to witness the wrath of what I can think of for you, I suggest you get out. Now."
The voice suddenly growled as the land around us began to shake.
"Don't worry Master Splinter," Michelangelo looked on at the voice with the look of an acute warrior. Completely relaxed. And fearless…
"URRRRRRRRR…AHHHHH!" The dark cloud of swirls emerged from the sky and headed right toward my son!
"Michelangelo!" I cried. Just as the dark swirl of evil came down upon us it was blinded by a bright light as it screamed in terror.
"AHHHH!"
"I warned you," Michelangelo spoke darkly.
"This…is…im…POSSIBLE!" It shrieked before an explosion of light and color erupted where it was, to reveal nothing but a clear sky. All other oncoming flares ceased, as did the fires on the ground, with only smoke remaining…
I turned to my son in awe as he stared up at the sky, completely ready for anything that might come his way.
My son…how you have grown…
"Uh…Master Splinter? You okay?" He asked me.
Hm?
I looked at my son's confused face.
"I am sorry Michelangelo. I must have been in a daze…"
"Haha. You sure were. Well! Let's get goin' then huh?" He smiled at me.
I was stunned for a moment. Then a smile came upon my own face.
"Yes. Let's."
….
As we walked from the carnival of his mind, he explained to me how "awesome" the rides were until it was all "completely destroyed."
"This is totally what I had in mind for the perfect carnival! It's so...AWESOME! You sure you don't want to go on any rides Sensei?"
"Yes, my son," I chuckled. "Even though this is a realm of your mind, I am sure my own body would still feel some effects, even here."
"Haha. I bet! Well then! Off home we go!"
We walked a few seconds in silence until he spoke up again.
"Hey Sensei! Wanna know what my back up plan was?"
"Excuse me? I'm afraid I do not understand."
"Oh! Sorry. Haha! You may be in my mind but you still can't read it," he grinned. "Well then! I'll explain it! You know how I destroyed that demon thing with that light?"
"Yes I do. That was quite incredible my son."
He beamed with delight. "Yeah that was pretty cool wasn't it?…But you know how I talked about the wrath I had in mind for it?"
"Yes…I remember my son."
"Well…" he smiled mischievously. "I thought of a few possible things I could do it. Being it's all dark and gloomy I thought about creating the most cuddly, light-hearted fighting teddy bears possible! Or some magical unicorns shooting out hearts of terror! Haha. But then…I just felt like there was this light in me that wanted to come out, so I was like, sure, why not! Feels right to me! And then you saw what happened. Guess it worked huh?"
"Yes…" I smiled. It did.
"Michelangelo…" I spoke softly. I needed to get an answer.
"Yeah Sensei?"
"These fears you face…how long have you held them in your heart?"
For the first time since we had walked away from that nightmare Michelangelo stayed silent.
"My son?" I asked.
"Just…on and off…you know…inner fears…"
"When did they come about?" I asked gently.
"I don't know!" He snapped, a bit angrily.
"My son…although that demon preying on your fears is gone, you still deal with that pain. I am here to help. Please, speak to me."
Michelangelo was silent for a few seconds. Then sighed.
"I don't want to be useless…" he said softly.
"My son-"
"I know I got stuff to offer, I do it all the time! But…those fears just come up every now and then…Especially when Raph, or Don, or even Leo say something…but…that's not the worst…it's the fear that if I mess up it will lead them to getting hurt…or...killed…" He gulped. "And that gets to me the most…"
"My son…You carry a great burden…By sharing these feelings with your loved ones you will see they do not feel that way about you, but rather they will understand you better if you explain to them the pain and fears you suffer from. They are there to help."
"Yeah…" he mumbled.
Perhaps seeing his brothers in person will help him...
"So!" He quickly changed the subject. "What's the best way outa here? I assume it would be through the way we came?" he turned to me.
"I believe so as well my son. Come, let us go."
I will talk to him when we get back concerning this matter…
Making our way through the tunnel and into the main area we arrived I saw Michelangelo glance briefly at the other tunnels nearby. However, before I could question him I felt the strain of my meditation taking its toll.
"My son, we must go. Now!"
"Hai!" He replied as we made our way towards the center of this cave.
"Sit," I told him as we sat on the ground floor.
"Now go into meditation with me my son…Focus all your energy into getting back…"
He nodded and closed his eyes with me, as we began our travel back home.
….