Author's Note: Sorry it's been so long! Tests suck. Anyway, this chapter is finally ready to be posted, and hopefully I won't have these long intervals anymore. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers Prime or the song Monster by Skillet. I do, however, own Everon Prime and Damien Blackwater.

As I slowly woke up, I couldn't help but think that I hadn't had this peaceful of sleep in a while.

My second thought made my spark skip a pulse.

I remembered the other night. I remembered every hurtful word I had thrown at Wheeljack. I remembered how I had basically told him that we were over. And I saw my shard hanging from his picture to prove it.

Running from the room, I didn't care that I was still supposed to be sentenced to bed rest. I didn't care that I looked like a scrap pile. All I could think about was finding him and apologizing over and over again and begging for his forgiveness.

Rushing into the main room, I yell, "Where's Wheeljack?"

Arcee and Ratchet, who were the only Bots in the room at the moment, jumped at my sudden entrance. "Everon Prime!" Ratchet barks. "You nearly gave me a spark attack! You are supposed to be confined to bed rest."

"I don't give a slag about fragging bed rest right now!" I snap at my mentor. "Where is Wheeljack? I need to see Wheeljack!"

"Whoa, whoa, easy, Ev," Jack says as he and the others rush from the couch platform to me. He approaches with Miko, Raf, and Damien trotting after him. "Okay, deep breaths: just tell us what's wrong."

"I need to see him! I need to apologize! I need him! Where is he?!" I knew I was hysterical at this point, shifting around in circles while throwing my arms around in wild motions.

"You had a flare up last night, didn't you?" Damien asked calmly as he slowly approached me, hands up in a 'I mean no harm' gesture as if I were some cornered animal. In a way, I was. Especially since I could feel a fresh and oh-so familiar headache building up in the back of my head.

"Yes! I had a fragging meltdown last night, and I took it out on him! Now, where. Is. He?!"

"He's gone." I whip around to stare with a stunned face at Bulkhead as he slowly enters the room, Bumblebee and my father in tow. I look at his saddened face that wouldn't meet my eyes. I could feel the headache seem to pulse in my mind, growing worse by the second. "I tried to talk him down, but—"

"No!" I shriek, causing everyone to look at me with panicked expressions. "No, no, NO!" The pain had become unbearable, worse then it has ever been. As I heard exclamations of worry from everyone, the world around me fades to black.

I felt like I was floating, floating in an empty expanse of nothingness.

I couldn't tell what was left, what was right. My mind was lost, and for some reason, I didn't mind. I felt at peace, as if I was meant to be here. As if this nothingness would keep me swallowed up so that I could leave myself to my self-loathing.

As I floated in this vast expanse, I pulled my legs to my chest and began to cry. The sound cut through the deafening silence, and the surroundings seemed to darken in response to my sadness. I couldn't seem to care. All I could think of was how I had ruined my relationship with Wheeljack and drove him away by breaking his spark.

"What's wrong with me…" I murmur through the tears as I feel what I think is solid ground form beneath my feet. That's when I hear a sound. It's faint, near impossible to hear, but it's enough to make me to quiet my sobs and listen. I hear it again, and I recognize the unmistakable sound of wings fluttering.

Standing, I turn to see nothing around me. Nothing but the empty space I was trapped in anyways. I decide to ignore the sound, and I return to my curled up ball. With my cheek pressed against my knees, I lowly begin to sing, slowly letting my inner bitterness seep into my words.

"The secret side of me, I never let you see,
I keep it caged, but I can't control it.
So stay away from me, the beast is ugly,
I feel the rage, and I just can't hold it."

I clenched my fists at my sides, angry at myself for letting this happen, for letting whatever is wrong with me to control me.

"It's scratching on the walls, in the closet in the halls,
It comes awake and I can't control it.
Hiding under my bed, in my body, in my head,
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end!"

I jump up, throwing my hands to the side as my singing warps into a mixture of my voice and hateful yelling. I don't know why I'm singing, but I can't seem to express myself any other way.

"I feel it deep within! It's just beneath the skin!
I must confess that I feel like a monster!
I hate what I've become! The nightmare's just begun!
I must confess that I feel like a monster!"

I hear the flutter of wings again. I ignore it. Squeezing my eyes shut and pressing my hands over my ears, I sink back to the ground in a kneeling position and hunch over as I continue to let the words flow out.

"My secret side I keep hid under lock and key,
I keep it caged, but I can't control it,
Cause if I let him out, he'll tear me up, break me down.
Why won't somebody come and save me from this make it end!

"I feel it deep within! It's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster!
I hate what I've become! The nightmare's just begun!
I must confess that I feel like a monster!"

Words are hazy, unbalanced and off pace. I feel like I'm going crazy: my words just bounce off the walls and echo back to me in this soundless nothingness.

"I feel it deep within! It's just beneath the skin!
I must confess that I feel like a monster."

Then I scream, "I feel like a monster!" as tears begin to fall down my face.

"It's hiding in the dark
It's teeth are razor sharp
There's no escape for me
It wants my soul,
It wants my heart.

"No one can hear me scream
Maybe it's just a dream
Or maybe it's inside of me
Stop this monster!"

"Is that truly what you think of yourself?" Jumping up, I spin around to see someone approaching me from behind. Despite her being only about ten feet away, I couldn't make out any of her features. Between the voice and shape of the figure, I could tell that it was a female, though. That combined with her size and the basic outlining of armor, I assumed her to be a Cybertronian femme, one about the same size as Arcee.

One with a pair of long, messily feathered wings.

She walked slowly closer to me, and as she kneeled in front of me, I tell her with a sad and hoarse voice, "Well, it fits…" The one discernable feature of hers was her eyes. They were a brilliant silver, like mine. They seemed sad, for me I assume, given my current depressed state. "You're Cybertronian." She nods. "Are you here to make me one with the Allspark? I'll go willingly: I've heard stories of the souls who resisted. I don't need a guide. Honestly, I was expecting Cliffjumper."

Her eyes look sadder. "Dear Everon, it's not your time. He is not needed yet to guide you, and you are still needed in your realm." I felt angry, and I bite down hard on my lip before I could snap at the kind femme. "You are so confused, and I'm sorry for any pain you've gone through… I wish I could say that you were not meant to face anymore, but I'm afraid you have a long road ahead of you before this war's end."

"What are you?"

I could almost see the smile in her eyes. "Someone who remains between your realm and the Allspark to guide the lost of my kind in both realms."

"Your kind?" I ask. "You mean Cybertronians?"

"In a way… Come, Everon. You must be strong. If this war is to end, you are needed. You are the only one who can unite the sides once the war ends." Before I can respond, she says, "It's time for you to wake up. You have people waiting for you."

There was no transition between the world of nothingness and mine. One minute I was sitting with the angel, the next I was awake.

I was laying on a medical gurney. I might as well live in this bed the way things have been going recently. Hearing voices, I decide to pretend to sleep and listen in. The voices were certainly strained.

"Bulkhead, have you heard anything from him?" Arcee sounded stressed, agitated, not that I could blame her.

Hearing Bulk's sigh, he responded by saying, "Nothing. He turned off his comm link. I sent him messages over the comm, but it's probably gonna be a while before he checks them."

Arcee growls in frustration. "That fragger needs to get back here, now! Ratchet won't explain what's wrong with her unless he's here."

What if he doesn't come back?

Everyone was quiet after Bumblebee's comment. Eventually, Arcee sighs and says, "He cares for Ev too much to not come back, even if we didn't contact him. His head's just screwed up. Does anyone even know why he left?" A pause. "Bulkhead, what happened? What did Ev say?"

For a moment, Bulkhead didn't respond. Then, in a cautious voice, He explained. "Ev… Ev ended things with Jackie. She told him that it was over. And… and that since she would eventually break his heart when she died, she might as well get it over with so he could heal, and she could spare someone else's heart…"

"What?" Damien asked. He had been quiet for this entire conversation, so I hadn't even realized he was in the room. "What do you mean?"

Bulkhead's voice had a bit of a growl in it. "She wasn't right in the head. We don't know if she meant anything she said."

Damien's voice then matched Bulk's tone. "What. Do. You. Mean."

"She said she was choosing you over Wheeljack!" Bulkhead shouted, anger clearly evident in voice. "She's choosing you, the fragger in charge of deciding whether or not we are allowed to keep her!"

"What?" Everything was silent after that. No one said a word as they all stared at me slack jawed from where I sat up on the gurney. I felt numb. "What do you mean?" My voice is small, and I felt so confused.

"Ev…" Damien began.

"This whole time, you weren't assigned to be my guardian, were you? You were to judge whether or not I could stay with the team…"

He sighed, his eyes pleading for understanding from me. "My superiors wanted to see your normal actions with the team without your knowledge… I was just doing my job, I didn't expect…"

"Get. Out," I growl. He looks shocked, but I don't care. My headache was returning, and I quite honestly didn't want to contain my anger. "Get out!" When he didn't move, I got up from the gurney and strode over to the platform he was standing on.

"Ev, I'm so—" He couldn't finish his excuse because my fist had connected to his jaw, knocking him to the ground.

Well, that's gonna leave a mark… Bee seemed a little stunned at the moment, but he made no move to stop me. Bulkhead just crossed his arms with a satisfied look on his face, and Arcee just face-palmed with an exasperated sigh.

"Get out!" As he stood up slowly, I swung with the intention of punching him again, but he dodged this time under my arm. His effectively executed evasion was short lived, and the heel of my foot connected with the small his back. Unfortunately, I wasn't wearing my normal, heeled boots, but my bare foot still managed to knock him to the ground.

Before I could move again, I noticed the familiar sound of approaching footsteps, followed by someone scooping me up in their hand. "Easy, my daughter," my daddy tells me. I merely growl as he sits me on his shoulder. Looking back to the shocked Damien, my father says, "It might be most prudent at this time if you leave…"

With one last saddened look to me, Damien stood and walked to his car. Without looking back, he says, "For what it's worth, I wasn't going to take you away from them." Then he drove from the base.

I had lost someone else.

I felt like my heart was crumbling. Between driving away Wheeljack, the one that I loved, and hurting Damien, who was beginning to grow on me, I felt a deep self-loathing growing in my chest.

My father inclined his head to me. "Are you alright?"

I curled my knees up to my chest. Normally, I would merely shrug off these questions, but I was beyond any way of denying things any more. So, with a sad and broken voice, I tell him, "No. No, I'm not alright. And I'm starting to wonder if I ever will be…"

I spent most of that night in my room, staring at the painting I had made for Wheeljack. Honestly, it was one of my best works. I had poured my heart and soul into it and had lovingly applied each stroke. But, besides my painting, my attention was stuck to the singular shard hanging from the corner of the canvas.

I hadn't touched it since I had hung it there the other night. I couldn't bring myself to. I never deserved it. I never deserved him… I broke him, and I could never forgive myself for that.

Bulkhead had suggested that I put the necklace back on, that Wheeljack would sense my pain and come back. That Wheeljack would eagerly forgive me. But, what would stop me from hurting him again? What would stop me from hurting all of them? I found myself questioning my sanity as of late: between my bouts of aggression and mood swings, I felt unstable.

Then there was the femme from my dream, the one who wandered the nothingness. She said that she helped her kind… but somehow, I didn't think she meant Cybertronians in general. But if she didn't mean Cybertronians, then what was she talking about? Half-breeds? Why was I even analyzing this anyway? It was just an exhaustion-produced hallucination, a dream, but it also seemed like so much more…

I can't do anything but sigh. That's when I hear the commotion coming from down the hallway. I decide to go and check, seeing as how I was getting antsy from sitting still.

As I walk into the room, I hear Arcee ask, "Should we go get Ev?"

"Get me for what?" Everyone spun around, suddenly looking both shocked and nervous. I can see Jack, Miko, and Raf on the platform, obviously just arriving from school, and even they looked a bit nervous. Ratchet suddenly said, "You should be resting!" while the others yelled "Nothing!"

My dad decided to speak after clearing his throat. "We have someone entering the base…"

I quirk an eyebrow before crossing my arms over my chest and jutting out a hip to the side. "If it's Damien, I swear I will throw him right back out of the base, military rules be damned."

Bulk looked puzzled for a second. "Wow, I don't think I've ever heard you use a human curse word before…"

Cutting Bulkhead a look that said 'seriously?,' Arcee said, "No it's not Damien…"

That's when the Bot sized lift to the roof began to lower, and a voice that made my heart stop began to speak before it was even fully lowered. "Where is she? Is Ev okay?"

Just before the lift fully stopped lowering, he stepped off and rushed forward to the other Bots, not noticing me standing off to the side. "Wheeljack…" I choke out. He spins around, a look of relief passing over his face. I felt tears stream as I began to speak again. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean… I, I'm so sorry." Before he could move forward to me, I turn and run straight from the room and didn't stop until I had shut the door behind me to my room. Sliding down the wall, I sit with my knees drawn to my chest, and just continue to cry.

Why was this so hard? I should have just went over to him, kept apologizing till I was blue in the face, but I felt so… scared. It was stupid, but I was scared to talk this out with him.

Soon, I hear an expected knock at my door, "Ev, babe, can I come in?" Wheeljack. I can't find the words, so I say nothing. "Okay, we need to talk, so fair warning, I'm coming whether you want me to or not. Don't throw a shoe at me or anything." I snort, remembering back to the time when he had not so politely walked in on me changing.

As he had warned, he entered my room without my permission. After quickly scanning the room, he sees me next to the doorframe, curled in a ball against the wall. Before he can say anything, I rush forward, and he wordlessly scoops me up and cradles me to his chassis. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I murmur as I do my best to hug his chassis.

"Primus, I'm sorry: I shouldn't have just left. I just… Slag it to the Pit, Ev, I love you, I just love you so much…"

"I love you, too…"

Our moment is interrupted when I hear the sound of someone clearing his throat from the doorway. Wheeljack jerks his head to glare at the intruder, but Ratchet merely harrumphs in response to the glare. "I hate to interrupt, but we need to talk, now. I think I know what's wrong with Everon, and you both need to be here for this."

I look up to Wheeljack as he glances down to me, and I offer him a small smile. He sighs then says, "Fine, but I get a drive with her tonight."

Ratchet nods, and Wheeljack moves to follow him, but I suddenly say, "Wait! Can you sit me down for a second?" Wheeljack looks confused but complies, and I rush away towards my painting. Carefully, I pick up my shard from where it hangs, and I feel the familiar sense of warmth flood over me as it glows. Slipping it around my neck, I stride back to the much happier looking Wheeljack. "Now I'm ready."

After placing me on his shoulder, Wheeljack follows an aggravated Ratchet out towards the main area. All the Bots and humans look suddenly towards us, but they all visibly relax when they see me curled into the crook of Wheeljack's neck. After sending me a soft smile, my daddy turns to Ratchet with a more serious look. "What exactly have you discovered my old friend?"

Ratchet's response is clinical as he tries his best to slip into the role of medic instead of concerned mentor. "In layman's terms, Everon is going through a spark break."

The room goes silent, and I can feel Wheeljack tense from where I sit on his shoulder. I, on the other hand, was merely confused, but Raf spoke before I could. "Uh, what's a spark break?"

"Did she crack her spark or something when she was hurt?" Jack continued.

"Like when Bulkhead dropped her on the Con's ship?" Miko added, earning an indignant, "Hey!" from Bulkhead.

I cocked my head to the side in a confused gesture to my mentor, who decided to elaborate. "A spark is different then a human heart. Where a spark does pump energon through our veins, it is the Cybertronian center for emotions, like the human mind. "

"We feel with our heart, not our heads. I get that," I tell Ratchet. "And the spark break is…?"

Now Ratchet seems a bit unsure of himself. His words are measured and careful. "Everon… I think that your spark developed a fracture when Cliffjumper passed away." His words made me flinch. "Then, piling on the recent stress, such as Megatron's death and the way you have been carrying blame for Skyquake's death, which we have noticed, the fracture has slowly been getting worse."

"How could we not have noticed?" Arcee asked suddenly. "A spark fracture is extremely painful for a Cybertronian, and you just described a compound spark fracture. We should have seen more signs—"

"And you're forgetting an important variable," Ratchet added. "This is Everon we're talking about. She isn't one to share her burdens with others. That mixed with the silver-tongue and sense of independence she gained during her time with the Decepticons, it's no wonder we never noticed."

During his speech, Wheeljack had subconsciously began fussing over me: he kept either lightly touching me as if checking to see if I'm there or stroking the top of my head lightly. I could tell that this conversation was making him edgy. Finally, he spoke up. "Look, if that was true, that meant she was depressed when I came, and I didn't see an ounce of suggestion she was depressed except when I said I was only staying temporarily and when I finished my ship, and those two instances were justifiable."

"That's because you were here." Jack's voice was a change of pace to the conversation. "I noticed how she seemed… different when you showed up. Happier then she had been in recent weeks. But when you left…"

Ratchet nodded and continued for him. "Everon grew worse."

Wheeljack's eyes narrowed, and he snapped, "So this is my fault again, is it?"

Ratchet responded by simply stating, "No. It's your bond's fault."

"Okay," Miko interjected. "Now I'm confused. I thought that After Stone thing was supposed to make you guys happier? You know, the whole 'permanent love' thing and all."

"Normally, yes. But normally, Airrant bonds are returned and made into a two-way bond or at least, the other does not return the feelings of love. Everon's case is different. Her spark wants to make the Airrant bond a two-way bond, but she physically can't. This is stressing her already fractured spark, causing her emotions to lash out and her personality to shift. Her spark can't handle the stress."

"So what's happening to me?" I ask, finally choosing to speak up. "What's this fracture gonna lead to? More pain and mood swings, or…"

Ratchet's optics look sad. "Your spark knows that your body is incapable of accessing your Airrant. It's… well it is trying to compensate by changing your anatomy. I looked at the scans I took of you during your rage the night before Wheeljack… left… and the scans seemed to show that your body had significantly more Cybertronian components and synapses, not to mention some activity in your T-cog. Once the rage subsided, your anatomy shifted back some, but kept a little more Cybertronian aspects then normal."

"What's a T-cog?" Raf asked.

"It's the organ in Cybertronians that allows them to shift," I say, a bit of awe in my voice about the implications that Ratchet was saying. "Mine has been inactive since birth though…"

"And now," Ratchet says, "your body is trying to make use of the T-cog to allow you to shift into a Cybertronian form."

"So Ev could become a Bot!" Miko asked excitedly. "That. Is. Awesome!"

"No, it's not," Ratchet continues. "Everon's true body is human. We don't know how she could respond to a shift. It could kill her in the process, or at the least cause painful deformations."

Neither of those sounds appealing… Bee chimed in.

"So how can we stop this?" Wheeljack asks. "I'd rather keep her safe then risk her life for the off-chance she could be able to shift into a Cybertronian form."

Ratchet sighs, looking even more weary and tired. "I don't know… This isn't exactly an exact science—"

"Can't you just remove it?" Everyone turns to look at Raf. "I mean, just surgically take her Airrant out?"

Ratchet looked flustered. "We can't just take it out! Everon has to be the one to hand it to her bond mate—"

"Does anyone else think it's weird to call Wheeljack Ev's mate?" Miko asked Jack nonchalantly who blanched at the thought.

"—otherwise it defeats the purpose of the bond!"

Jack, after shaking off the idea of me having a mate, says, "Well, she could just give it to him after she comes out of surgery."

Ratchet stutters again. "Well, we can't touch it!"

"Have you ever heard of tweezers?" Miko then asked with an exasperated tone.

Ratchet's frustration melted to contemplation as he seriously began to consider the idea. "Whoa, whoa, hold up. You're not seriously performing open-spark surgery on Ev, are you?" Wheeljack exclaimed. "She's too small for that! Plus, she has a fractured spark for Primus' sake!"

"It's either that, or we risk Everon's spark shattering from that very fracture." Ratchet's words leave the room silent, everyone, even the humans, understanding the implications.

Speaking up finally, my dad asked, "Everon, what do you want to do?"

I hesitate, but when I speak, my voice is steady and clear. "I've wished that I could give Wheeljack my Airrant since he gave me his. I guess it's a plus that it will help get me out of this funk."

Ratchet gave a sharp nod of the head. "This is going to need some time and planning. I'm not even considering the operation for a few days, so for now, the best thing I think we can do is keep Ev calm and happy and as close to Wheeljack as possible."

I smirk and lean against Wheeljack's head and neck. "Looks like you're stuck with me for the next few days…" I tell him in a teasing tone.

He snorts and gives me a Cheshire grin. "You assume I was going to let you out of my sight. Been away from you enough, and it's going to be more like you're stuck with me for a while."

"Yuck!" Miko yells, effectively ruining the moment. "Are they always going to be like this?"

"With a full fledged Airrant bond?" Bulkhead interjects. "Pit, yes. We'd be lucky to pull them away from each other for about ten minutes during the first few weeks. Let's just be happy that they aren't spark bonding."

"That's where I draw the line with the surgery," Ratchet responded. "You two don't need to bond for her health, not to mention that I wouldn't want to deal with that." He then shuddered as he said that.

I twitch my head to the side as I feel a puzzled look come across my face. "What's wrong with bonding?"

"For one thing," Arcee said, "You are pretty young for an Airrant bond, much less a spark bond. Frag, Wheeljack is actually kind of young for it. Another thing is that a spark bond makes the pair… well, extremely loving…"

My eyes grow wide as realization dawns on me, and I can feel the blush spreading across my face and neck. Raf, unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, didn't understand. "What do you mean? Isn't it a good thing that they love each other more?" My blush got worse.

"Okay, let's just steer away from this topic," Wheeljack interjects, most likely sensing my discomfort, but I could see the amused smirk on his face. I felt like hitting him for that smirk.

"Whoa!" Miko yells. "Why is Ev turning purple?!"

Jack looks at me and bursts out laughing. "Shut it, Darby!" I snap.

Through his laughing, I hear him manage to say, "Oh man, I… I haven't seen you blush this badly since my mom decided to step up and give you the talk!"

What talk? Bee bleeped confusedly. I felt like crawling in a hole and hiding.

"Mrs. Darby decided that since my dad was gone all the time that she would take on the responsibility of giving me the sex talk… most awkward conversation of my life." Jack started another round of laughing. "To make it worse, I had been showing Jack a pair of comm links I had been working on, and he heard the whole embarrassing conversation from the other room…" Jack was kneeling on the ground laughing by this point.

"You guys should have heard Ev. She sounded horrified the entire time! It was hilarious!"

I glare at him. "Hey, forgive me for not being well versed in how sex works! I had no idea it was like that…" I shuddered.

Miko interjects, though I wish she hadn't. "Wait, your Ratchet's apprentice! Shouldn't you have learned how this stuff works since you're like a doctor in training? Or is it different for Cybertronians?"

Ratchet looked as uncomfortable as me. "That is a lesson I have been avoiding, seeing as it is both unnecessary and a bit… of an awkward topic."

"So can Ev and Wheeljack ever—"

"Okay, that's it!" I yell. "Conversation over! Wheeljack and I are going for a drive." I look at him and plead, "Now, please?!"

He chuckled, obviously extremely amused by the conversation. "Whatever you say, babe." With that, he scoops me off his shoulder and shifts to his Ferrari mode before taking off towards the base's exit. We are quiet for a minute before I can hear him ask with an amused tone, "So, do you want to know how Cybertronians interface?"

I got a satisfying yelp when I kicked his dashboard.

Okay, so I've got it figured out. I'm gonna have three more chapters after this one, and then I'm ending the story to start the sequel, Chasing Shadows of Angels. I will give a more exact time of when I'm posting the new story later, so keep checking!

Also, don't forget to post your truth or dare ideas!