Disclaimers ch 1 Notes throughout :)

"Captain Janeway?"

The light touch of a hand on her shoulder had Kathryn lashing out and racing from a sound sleep in a poorly padded chair to on her feet, wide awake, and in a fighting stance in less than a second. But all she saw in front of her was a wide-eyed nurse backing away from her, clutching her hand to her chest. Kathryn quickly surveyed the room looking for any hidden threats, but the room was bathed in the muted dark of night outside and artificial lights inside mimicking the hour. The window blinds were still drawn, but the indicator lights above the biobed glowed in acceptable parameters, shedding eerie greens and yellows in the room. She didn't hear anything to alarm her other than her own sharp breathing.

She glanced at Trevor, still asleep under the white hospital sheet and blanket. His breathing was normal, the steady rise and fall of his chest calming Kathryn more than her own assertions that the room held no threat. She looked back to the nurse, who was still clutching her hand protectively, and felt the pain in the back of her own hand from where she had obviously knocked the nurse away from her.

Straightening, she couldn't bring herself to feel too bad about it. She'd been there for three days. The entire medical staff knew she was…jumpy. "What?"

The nurse blinked several times before answering. "There's someone here to see you."

Kathryn's chin came up. "Send them in."

The nurse shook her head. "He said he wants to meet with you privately. He's waiting for you in the Reflection Room. Ground floor." She hesitated. "He said it was very important that you come right away. Alone."

Kathryn immediately cursed the fact that she had sent Chakotay home. He'd needed to go home, get some real sleep, but she now realized that They had probably been waiting for an opportunity like this to present itself. Whoever it was that wanted to talk to her obviously didn't want to be seen, and yet she had no intention of leaving Trevor in the room unguarded.

"Are any of my crew still here?"

"Of course," the nurse nodded, gesturing outside the doors of the critical care unit, "there are two gentlemen in the waiting room…like always."

Kathryn felt a small measure of relief. She'd been so obsessed with Trevor's condition, she hadn't realized until the day before that her crew had set up some sort of rotation so that there would always be someone there. It was one more thing she was going to have to remember to thank them for. "Could you have them come in, please?"

The nurse nodded and quickly left the room. As soon as the door closed behind her, Kathryn bent over and removed the phaser from the holster on her right ankle. Lifting up the covers slightly, she slipped it into Trevor's limp hand, hoping like hell he wouldn't need it. She brushed his dark hair back from his forehead, thankful to feel how cool his skin was now in comparison to how hot he'd burned when he'd first arrived.

There was a light knock on the door, and she straightened, her hand going protectively to the small of her back where she carried another phaser. "Enter."

The door frame was immediately filled with the broad-shouldered frames of Mike Ayala and Kerry Fitzpatrick. "Captain?"

Kathryn breathed easier knowing she could leave Trevor in the care of these two men. She gave them both a tight smile. "It seems I'm wanted for a private audience downstairs. Will you stay with him until I get back?"

The two men exchanged a glance, and then Fitzpatrick moved further into the room. "I'll stay with him, Captain."

"And I'll be going with you," Mike said at her questioning look.

"I don't think–"

"It's not up for debate…ma'am."

Kathryn was actually amused and truly believed Mike meant it. She could argue with him until she was blue in the face, but it wouldn't do any good. She hesitated though. Her instructions had been to come alone, but then she never had done what they wanted to the letter. Why start now? "All right. Let's go then."

Neither of them spoke on the 'lift as it carried them down to the ground floor of Starfleet Medical. When the doors opened, the floor itself was deserted. Kathryn looked up at Mike. "You're armed, right?"

He nodded silently to her whispered question, his eyes continually scanning the floor. He indicated a sign that pointed down the hall for the Reflection Room, and they moved together with Mike staying one step behind her. The first sign of life they saw was two men standing at parade rest, flanking a highly polished oak door-frame. The sight of their all-black uniforms had Kathryn's heart racing as her conscience snapped at her. She'd been a fool to think bringing Ayala with her would do anything more than get him killed.

As they drew closer, the guard on the right straightened to attention. "The meeting is to be private. No security allowed inside for either party."

She actually felt a bit relieved at that and gave Mike a slight nudge. "Don't worry. I'll call you if I need you."

He was clearly not happy about it as he eyed the two men. "Don't get too close to anyone in there."

She nodded to let him know she heard him even if she didn't think it would actually do any good. When she took a step forward and he didn't stay with her, the guard that had spoken opened the heavy oak door for her.

Stepping inside the Reflection Room, she was forced to acknowledge the beauty of the room. Soft gold lighting accented with blues and greens filled the room. For other people in difficult situations, she was quite sure the room offered a quiet, comforting place away from the doctors, nurses, and the sick. But for her, with everything she'd been anticipating happening, the room felt claustrophobic.

The sound of the heavy door being closed behind her, sealing her in, only heightened the suffocating sensation. It didn't help that she was not alone in the room. There was a single other figure in the room, up near the front, seated on one of the padded wooden benches.

It was only when the door closed that the figure got to his feet and turned to face her. Kathryn did not believe for a second that he hadn't been aware of her presence, more so that he'd merely been waiting for the assurance that they were indeed alone. As she strode down the center aisle, her boots making no sound against the deep blue carpeting, she studied him.

He was an older man. Human with thick white hair brushed neatly back, wearing a dark civilian suit that was actually cut quite flatteringly. His eyes were a light shade, possibly green, but impossible to tell for sure at a distance. Heeding Mike's advice, she stopped well away from him, choosing not to close the distance between them completely.

They regarded each other silently for a moment before finally he asked, "Do you know who I am, Captain?"

She had to admit he looked familiar, but she couldn't place him in any of her memories. "No."

He smiled faintly, apparently amused. "My name is Robert G. Hall."

The name held no meaning for her and she raised a single eyebrow in question.

"I'm the Secretary of the Interior. I serve on the Federation Cabinet, and I am a direct adviser to President Miosal."

A chill ran up Kathryn's back, and she felt the small hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. "You're also Section 31."

Hall's smile faded. "Your casual use of that name is one of the many things I've come here to discuss with you this evening." He gestured to the bench he'd been sitting on. "Won't you join me?"

She got the distinct impression it was not an invitation she could refuse, but instead of sitting next to him, she chose to sit on the bench in front of his. It was a bit awkward to turn on the bench so that she could speak to him, but at least the back of the bench she was now leaning on gave her some protection. He probably wasn't the type to get his own hands dirty, but that wasn't a confirmation she wanted to get the hard way.

"Thank you for meeting me here," he said, taking his seat again and choosing not to comment on her choice. "Despite its comforting ambiance, this room is hardly ever used." He smiled genteelly at her. "People still tend to think of these rooms as having a religious connotation instead of simply being a place of refuge. Hospitals, even in this day and age, can be incredibly trying places." He paused. "But I suppose that's not news to you. Your record indicates you've spent your fair share of time in facilities such as this one."

"What's your point?"

He gestured towards the high, arched ceiling. "Have you ever sought comfort before in a place like this?"

"No."

"Not even after the death of your father?" Hall held his hand up in a placating motion. "Forgive me, that was indelicate. I–"

"My father died under the ice," she bit out. "Not in a hospital."

"But you were in one for several days following the accident," he countered. "Did you ever seek…comfort during that time?"

She hadn't. The emotional shock of waking up in the hospital and seeing her sister's tear-stained face, remembering all that had happened had sent her into an emotional stupor for months. And damn him for bringing it up.

"Is this really what you brought me down here to talk about?" she snapped. "My tragic past?"

He seemed disappointed. "Again, my apologies. I spend too much time with politicians who always want to talk about anything besides what they really want to know for as long as possible. Whereas Starfleet officers would rather get business out of the way first." At her lack of reply, he gave a little sigh and bobbed his head. "To business then. How is your brother doing?"

She could feel the reassuring weight of her concealed phaser press against her lower back as she straightened in her seat. "Why don't you tell me?"

"He's expected to make a full recovery, from what I understand."

Yes, that was what the doctors had finally told her this morning. "Will he?"

"I don't see why not." Hall settled back into his seat, looking supremely unconcerned. "That is, unless you have disclosure plans you'd like to tell me about."

"Still worried about your precious little section, are you?" she asked. "Good. You should be."

"Now, Kathryn," he said, "that's no way to be. That attitude won't help either of us."

His voice sounded more like a kindly grandfather scolding a child than a dangerous man giving her a deadly warning. It made Kathryn's stomach clench. "Why should I want to help you?"

"The Section held up their end of the deal. You got the boy back."

"The boy?" Kathryn was incredulous. "Trevor was broken, bleeding, and in a coma when he arrived. He was almost dead. They didn't know if he was going to survive–"

"But he is…you said so yourself."

"You said it; I didn't." Her chin came up as she realized something. "That's why you waited until tonight, isn't it?"

He waved his hand dismissively. "Let's just say there have been some unfortunate…interactions between my section and your family. But I'd like to think those are all in the past now."

"Interactions," she repeated. "Is that what you call them?"

Hall sighed. "I want you to know that most of the actions taken against you were not sanctioned by the Section."

"Most?"

"We did want to recruit you for the mission to Cardassia, and we did intend for that mission to succeed with or without your cooperation. Now the way Jonas interpreted those orders–"

"Wait. Who's Jonas?" she asked, her heart clenching at the sound of that name and the memories it evoked. He couldn't mean the Jonas…

"Commander Stone's real name was William Jonas." Hall waved away the question with impatience. "You didn't think his name was actually Stone, did you?"

Kathryn swallowed tightly. "I had a crewman on Voyager named Jonas."

Hall regarded her thoughtfully with the slightest trace of an almost…sad smile. "Yes. We know."

"You know?"

He seemed irritated to be discussing the matter. "Despite Michael Jonas' status as a Maquis, Agent Stone maintained good relations with his brother. The Section allowed the continued communication because we were gaining valuable intelligence on Maquis activities. Until, of course, the ship he was on disappeared into the Badlands."

"The Val Jean," she said. "Followed by Voyager."

"Yes." Hall folded his hands in his lap. "The logs we reviewed upon Voyager's arrival back in the Alpha Quadrant indicated that Crewman Jonas was a traitor?"

"He was," she said stiffly.

"And that he was killed while trying to sabotage Voyager?"

"Yes."

"Agent Stone questioned the validity of your logs regarding the death of his brother."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

Hall waited a moment to see if she would contribute anything more. When she didn't, he asked, "Shall I continue explaining more current events?"

She nodded tightly. "I believe you were about to explain to me how my kidnapping and murder were sanctioned by the Section."

Hall scoffed at her tone. "Yes, well given your unreasonable refusal to consider the mission when first asked to accept it, your kidnapping was, in fact, sanctioned. We hoped that you could be made to see reason, especially given your personal history with Cardassians." He paused. "Killing you when you once again refused, however, had not been part of the plan. That was Stone's idea. He should have just reverted to plan B and killed the clone instead. But Stone had a real vendetta with you that we initially…missed," he admitted. "The Section was not made aware of your demise nor your survival until it was already too late."

"And what," she hissed, "was considered 'too late'?"

"You'd already been kidnapped, killed, and revived. That's not the sort of thing we could just return you to your life after. Pat you on the back and ask for your understanding. How well do you think that would have gone over?" He snorted. "You would've gone straight to the Federation Council with accusations and charges. And as much popularity as you had at the time, too many people would have listened."

"So to protect your own asses," she snarled, close to losing her carefully maintained control, "you stole my life from me."

"We gave you a new life," he countered, sounding more bored with the accusation than anything else.

She almost jumped over the bench at him. "I was tortured."

Hall huffed, apparently unhappy with her terminology. "You were trained…" He held up a hand to hold off her protest. "Albeit with methods far more severe than they should have been…but not completely unlike our other volunteer covert operatives. Your mental toughness…your ability to withstand pressure under any circumstance had to be tested."

His air of utter unconcern about the entire enterprise was what burned her more than anything. His complete acceptance and condoning of what had happened had her digging her nails into her palms. "You tried to break me."

"And we failed," he admitted almost cheerfully. "You truly could've been one of our greatest assets."

Her mouth moved into a feral smile. "Except that I wouldn't take your little test."

"You're a captain. You above all people understand the necessity of the chain of command." For the first time he sounded irritated. "An operative that won't follow orders is of no use to the Section."

"It was an immoral and unlawful order," she reminded him contemptuously.

She still couldn't easily discern the color of his eyes, but the dangerous glint that finally appeared in them was hard to miss. "You still don't get it, do you?"

Janeway moved her hand to rest on the handle of the phaser. "Enlighten me."

"My Section serves a very distinct purpose. One that may not be popular, one that most people don't want to think about, but it's a purpose that every member of the Federation benefits from. We do not allow anyone to jeopardize the security of our mission." He picked up a PADD that was on the seat next to him and thrust it towards her. "This is one of the articles being run in tomorrow's edition of FedNews. Read it."

She hesitated slightly before accepting the PADD and thumbing it on. A bold headline read "Three Starfleet Officers Lose Their Lives in Shuttle Training Accident". Images of Stone as well as the two officers that had approached her at the welcome-home banquet were in full color beneath the headline.

"As regretful as the situation is," Hall continued, "Stone acted above his authority pursuing his unhealthy obsession to reacquire you and the boy. He put us all at risk."

"You killed them," she said, feeling her mouth go dry at the idea. "To protect yourselves?"

"To protect the Federation," he emphasized. "Here's what you need to think about, Captain. If I'm willing to kill my own people to protect our way of life…what do you think I'm willing to do to yours?"

She knew the answer to that. "If you come near any of them–"

"You'll do what? Go to the press? That threat's getting old, Captain." He leaned back again. "You have no proof. The three men you could have identified are dead. The station that you escaped from has been abandoned. It would be your word against mine." He paused. "Who do you think the President will believe? And your threat to go to the media? That's about as effective as a phaser in a room with a dampening field."

His eyes trailed down to where she had the phaser concealed at her back. Even with the bench between them, she understood that he knew about her weapon and had already negated it. "You really think I need a phaser to kill you?"

The Secretary chuckled. "Go ahead, Janeway. Attack a government official. That'll help your credibility." He took the news PADD back from her hand and leaned towards her rather than away, demonstrating his lack of fear. "Now, you listen up, and for once, do as you're told. You've got the boy back. You've got your life back. If you want to keep it that way, you'll keep that pretty little mouth of yours shut. Understood?"

When she didn't respond, didn't even look at him, the Secretary chuckled again, taking her silence as her unhappy agreement. "Good. I'm glad we understand each other." He stood to leave. "If you'll excuse me."

He'd taken the three steps it took to get to the aisle when her voice stopped him.

"Wait."

He turned, surprised at the command. Clearly not used to receiving them. "I beg your pardon?"

Kathryn got to her feet. "You're the Secretary of the Interior."

He frowned. "Yes."

She advanced towards him. "An advisor to the President."

"Yes, I told you–"

"And yet, you came all the way down here…in the middle of the night…to tell me how…inconsequential I am?" She shook her head. "I don't think so. You could have had one of your lackeys do that. But you came down here personally, because you know…I'm a threat. I'm the biggest security threat your section has ever faced." She watched his face carefully and knew she was right. "Do you really want to cross me?"

His fingers drummed against the PADD he still held in his hands as he regarded her. Finally, he shook his head and gave a little sigh. "How much better our organization would have been if we'd had someone like you instead of that idiot, Stone." He tossed the PADD onto the bench and propped himself on the arm. "You and I need to come to some sort of an understanding."

One corner of Janeway's mouth tugged upwards. "We just did."

.