Chapter 21
Joey stirred in her sleep and groaned irritably, wondering why she had awoken. Her question was answered a matter of seconds later as she heard a soft whimper from her right and sat bolt upright in bed.
"Not again..." she murmured sadly as she observed her obviously terrified girlfriend in the throws of a nightmare. She shifted slightly closer and placed her hand on Charlie's shaking shoulder "Charlie?"
"No..." Charlie whimpered in her sleep, visibly struggling against a force Joey couldn't see "Stop...I don't want to..."
Joey was growing increasingly concerned at Charlie's struggling but was unsure as to what to do "Charlie!" she shook the other girl's shoulder gently but Charlie showed no sign of response.
"Don't take her..." Charlie mumbled. She stopped struggling as if she had given up but didn't relax immediately "Ruby..."
Joey noticed tears had begun to streak down Charlie's cheeks and frowned in worry. She moved tentatively forward and gathered Charlie gently in her arms. She was more than slightly relieved when Charlie relaxed almost at once and snuggled further into her body.
"It's okay..." Joey whispered as she tenderly moved a strand of Hair from Charlie's tear stained cheek "You're safe...I promise" she dropped a soft kiss on the older girl's head and tightened her embrace.
"Joey..." Charlie mumbled sleepily. Joey shifted slightly to see that Charlie was still asleep.
"I'm right here" she whispered unnecessarily "I'm not going anywhere..." she swallowed heavily and pushed back her own tears as she turned her gaze to the ceiling.
"Ruby?" she whispered to herself in confusion "What does Ruby have to do with this?" she turned her gaze to Charlie and sighed sadly "I wish you would tell me what's going on in that head of your Charlie..." She lay awake; worry coursing through her as she pondered on the unsettling thought that yet more secrets could come between them.
---
Charlie walked out of the kitchen and slumped onto the couch tiredly. Joey followed her a moment later.
"Joey!" the older girl groaned as she slumped onto the couch and leaned forward placing her head in her hands "I don't want to talk about it!"
"That's what you've been saying for the past week now!" Joey countered firmly "I need to know what's going on Charlie!"
"No you don't!"
"Yes, I do!"
Charlie sighed irritably "I have a headache"
"What happened to Ruby?" Joey questioned.
Charlie's head snapped up quickly and she stared at Joey, her eyes wide in astonishment "W...What? What do you mean?"
Joey tilted her head in confusion at Charlie's panicked reaction "You were talking in your sleep...You said that you 'didn't want to' and then you said 'don't take her'...What's going on Charlie?" Joey moved forward and sat on the couch next to Charlie. She reached out and placed her hand on Charlie's but found herself shrugged off almost immediately.
Charlie stood up quickly and moved away from a hurt looking Joey "I can't do this...I can't do it..."
"Do what?!" Joey asked, pushing back tears "You can't trust me...AGAIN?!"
"I can't tell you..." Charlie shook her head appearing to be talking more to herself than to Joey "I can't..."
"TELL ME WHAT?!" Joey yelled. She took a deep breath to calm herself down and stood up to face Charlie "Charlie just tell me. Whatever it is I'll..."
"No!" Charlie interrupted "There's nothing you can do...This is so messed up..."
"Messed up?" Joey echoed her concern only rising at the pain visible in Charlie's eyes "What do you mean Charlie?!"
"It's too late!" Charlie stated tearfully "I've been lying for too long..."
"Lying?" Joey moved quickly forward and grasped Charlie's arms gently "Charlie you're really scaring me...What's wrong with you? What are you lying about?"
"I can't" Charlie said breathlessly "You'll hate me...Ruby...Oh my God Ruby is going to really hate me!"
"That's not true...We could never hate you!"
"You will!" Charlie argued adamantly "You will hate me Joey because I've been keeping this from you for so long..."
"Charlie please just calm down" Joey pleaded her worry increasing as Charlie's breathing became more and more shallow "You're going to hyperventilate if you don't calm down...Charlie?!"
Charlie shook her head at Joey and attempted to control her breathing "I can't do it Joey...."
"You can!" Joey tightened her grip on the other girl "You can tell me...You can tell me anything! We said no more secrets remember? Because...They only come between us"
"I can't..."
"You have to!"
Charlie shook her head and pulled away forcefully "I'm sorry..." she turned quickly on her heel and rushed out of the room oblivious to her still falling tears.
"CHARLIE!" Joey yelled after her. She slumped down onto the couch behind her and tried to hold back her tears "Damn it..."
---
Charlie sighed softly as she dropped down onto the sandy beach breathing heavily. She pulled her knees to her chest and allowed her tears to flow freely as she gazed out at the ocean before her. She released a heavy sigh "Why is this happenening now?" she flinched slightly when she heard footsteps coming up from behind her. They were too heavy to be Joey's or Ruby's and Charlie had a sneaking suspicion that it was Hugo. She wiped quickly at her eyes before she looked up.
"Aiden..."she said relieved that it wasn't Hugo standing there. She offered him a weak smile "Hi"
"Hey Charlie" Aiden plopped down on the sand next to her "Are you okay?"
"No" Charlie said tearfully "It seems to be a bit of a theme these days"
"What happened?" Aiden questioned in concern "Is it Joey? Is something wrong with her?"
"No" Charlie shook her head quickly "She's fine. Don't worry. We just...We had an argument that's all...Or well I was arguing. She was trying to help"
"You've kind of lost me" the man smiled at her "What were you arguing about?"
"It's all so messed up Aid" Charlie sobbed quietly "Everything's all so screwed up and...It's all my fault!"
"Hey" Aiden moved closer and wrapped his arm around Charlie's shaking shoulders "I'm sure it's not that bad..."
"It is!" Charlie responded "Joey thinks that I don't trust her! And I just...ran off again"
"Why?"
"Because...I'm keeping something from her" Charlie answered. She attempted to wipe her tears away but found that they just kept coming "And I can't tell her what I'm keeping from her"
"Uh...Why can't you?" Aiden repeated in confusion.
"Because she's going to hate me! If she knows I've been keeping something this big from her..."
Aiden raised an eyebrow at Charlie "Are we talking about the same Joey?" when Charlie merely looked away from him he continued "Joey could never hate you Charlie. She loves you! No matter what..."
"Why can't I just be honest?!" Charlie questioned tearfully "Why is this all so hard?!"
"You can"
"I can't!" Charlie protested "What if...What if she leaves me? I can't lose her..."
"You can" Aided corrected "You just have to trust her Charlie...You know in your heart that Joey wouldn't just leave you" They fell into mutually comfortable silence for a moment before Charlie turned back to Aiden and smiled weakly up at him "Thanks Aiden"
"Anytime" Aiden gave the girl a quick reassuring squeeze before standing up "Just trust her Charlie...You'll most likely find yourself surprised" he smiled at her before turning and walking away.
"Okay" Charlie nodded to herself "I can do this...I think"
---
"JOEY!"
Joey stood up quickly in alarm when Charlie rushed into the living room "What..." she trailed off as Charlie grabbed her hand and pulled her quickly into their bedroom shutting the door behind them.
"Okay" Charlie said in a rushed voice "I have to do this now or I'll chicken out so...I'm just going to come out and say it..."
"Whoa!" Joey moved forward and took Charlie's hand "Slow down for a minute Charlie...Are you saying that you're going o actually tell me this big secret?" she moved Charlie back and pulled her down onto the bed.
"Yes" Charlie nodded turning slightly to face Joey "I wasn't going to tell you before because I thought that you would leave me but I ran into Aiden at the beach..."
"You thought I would leave you?!" Joey exclaimed in surprise "Why...why would I leave you?"
"It's complicated...You might think that this is getting too hard or something and..."
"I won't leave you" Joey stated firmly "No matter what" she squeezed Charlie's hand comfortingly "I promise...I'm here to stay" Silence filled the room for a moment before Charlie took a deep breath.
"Okay..." she nodded "I can do this..."
"You can tell me an..."
"I was raped when I was fourteen" Charlie blurted out. She bit her lip nervously and watched Joey's reaction. For the most part the younger girl just appeared stunned. Her expression quickly crumbled into sadness however.
"Charlie..."
"It was a long time ago" Charlie said nervously feeling tears flood her eyes "And I was...I was..."
Joey pulled Charlie quickly into her arms and held onto her tightly "Shh...Its okay" she ran a soothing hand over Charlie's hair as Charlie held onto her even tighter "So...This is what your nightmares were about?"
"Yeah...Sort of" Charlie nodded into Joey's shoulder "At first I was just...I was just remembering that night..." she sniffled slightly and pulled away from Joey though she still held tightly to her hand.
"You thought I'd leave you because of this?" Joey frowned suddenly, feeling tears forming in her eyes "Me, of all people? You could have told me Charlie...I could have helped...I understand this...you know?"
"I know" Charlie nodded. She swallowed heavily feeling apprehension weaving knots in her stomach "But...That isn't all I was keeping from you. I didn't think you would leave me because of that..."
"Then why?" Joey once again took Charlie's hand in her own.
"I fell pregnant" Charlie said quietly.
Joey's eyes widened in shock "Oh..." she averted her gaze to Charlie's abdomen "The scar..."
"Yeah" Charlie nodded "That was from the caesarean..."
"What...Uh...What happened to the..." Joey spluttered.
"I had to give her up" Charlie answered "But that's..."
"Wait!" Joey interrupted, looking up at Charlie again "Why would I leave you because of that? And...What does any of this have to do with Ruby? I mean I know this will affect her and if she doesn't know..."
"Joey...Think about it"
Joey returned her gaze blankly and Charlie inhaled deeply trying to push past her nerves.
"Ruby isn't my sister"
It took Joey a moment to register what Charlie had said "She's not? Than what..."
"Ruby isn't my sister" Charlie continued hesitantly "She's my daughter..." she squeezed Joey's hand tighter and awaited a reaction....
TBC