Disclaimer: So I went to ACEN for first time ever and what did I find? Not nearly as much BLEACH fans/franchise as I was hoping for…sighs. Kubo-sensei owns it all, the rest of us just dream.

A/N Right so it's been quite a gap since the last update? SLY has no excuse what's so ever…well unless you count writer's fog (its completely different from writer's block let me tell you) and personal bs getting in the way. So I owe you a chapter, a lengthy one yes? Sorry you only get an intermission that sets the next chapter in motion.

Additional notes: Some time back Shiro was a bad boy who couldn't resist jumping Grimmjow…bad Shiro, bad…anyway this scene received mixed responses/feelings…including but not limited to confusion/anger/disappointment/disgust…I said I would shine some light on it…and so here you have it…told straight from the mouth from everyone's favorite powdered berry.

ENJOY! And thanks for reading!

Shiro's viewpoint…

DRUNKEN SEAHORSE

CHAPTER 13

ARFAC

This entry is dedicated to NPH

Ask anyone who knows me and they'll surely tell ya that my numba one priority in life is Ichi. Ensurin' his absolute happiness. I have his best interest in mind. Always.

So ya ask me and ya selves why then did I go and have sex with the love of his life?

If I was gonna be an ass I'd tell ya to mind ya damn business it's between me and the the Puss but I got nothin' to hide-plus I don't wanna go and give ya the wrong idea.

So here's what really went down the afternoon I boinked Grimm…

It had nothin' to do with lust or jealously nor my insatiable appetite to bone anything with hot abs and a pulse. It was about opportunity. Opportunity struck and so I ran with it. Confused? Shall I shine an even brighter light on this tale?

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The Artificial Realistic Feeling Anal Canal-also known as ARFAC- a clever little device which fits nice and snug over a real hole-for best results loosen natural opening first-

Quiorra and I were lyin' awake in bed one night when he first mentioned it. At first I didn't really see the point in addin' a new toy to our sex life-felt we had more than enough already but then Quiorra bein' Quiorra effectively shut me up and further elaborated.

"The Artificial Realistic Feeling Anal Canal can be used for multiple purposes not just as a toy."

When Quiorra gets excited about somethin' his bottle green eyes sparkle like bright emeralds in a dark cave-my interest was piqued.

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We'd been discussin' it awhile-throwing the idea around back and forth-ya know having a child. Adoption (although an obvious choice) held little to no appeal for either of us and there wasn't any damn genies or witches 'round to help me an' Quiorra grow vaginas over night so that left us with one option.

A surrogate. Getting some woman to agree wouldn't be the hard part. At least I didn't think so but hey I'm losin' track of my story here so-

Quiorra and I are determined to spawn a brat of our own and with the help of science and ARFAC the possibilities are endless.

Thing is Quiorra and I aren't the kinda guys to jump into things blindly because as with all things there are risks involved.

And in times when one such as my self is unsure, having a guinea pig or two is necessary.

Without realizing what he was in for-Grimm became my Guinea pig. How I wound up on the receiving end I still can't quite figure out but I ain't gonna dwell on it.

Part of the Kurosaki/Shiba curse I guess-eventually windin' up on bottom.

Wait! Forget I said that. Or at least promise me you'll never tell Ichi?

Bleh. I did what I had to do and in the end I got what I wanted (semen-Grimm's semen-) even if the puss himself was sickened and confused as all fuck-oh I forget to mention the part where I drugged him didn't I?

Ah well story for another time-side's its not like it was your typical drug-just an invisible aphrodisiac type of powder-completely harmless-makes you horny as fuck and then come like a sum-bitch but-hey we all gotta make our sacrifices don't we?

Heh, so the game plan from that moment on was quite simple-collect semen-take to lab-put on ice-put next step in action-well actually that was Quiorra's part-usin' Ichi as his guinea pig-wasn't sure how two bottoms would accomplish this but then again my Quiorra is full of surprises so all you need to know is…once both samples are collected…they will be brought to a special lab and mixed together and voila, baby in the making.

Then collectively the four of us will sit down to Sunday brunch and search for a surrogate.

We figure if Grimm and Ichi succeed in the "parenting thing" then Quiorra and I will be shooins. And this time next year I'll be a proud uncle and a baby daddy.

Ah there's nothing sweeter than success.

Okay, okay so maybe it wasn't gonna be that easy since Grimm and Ichi are only at the beginnin' stages of their couplin' or whatever you wanna call it.

But a wise man once said 'good things come to those who wait for it.'

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TBC

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And since it's been oh so long since a proper update here's a mini teaser of the next chapter….

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"So are you sure you don't want to reconsider and continue where we left off?"

Grimmjow threw Ichigo a sideways grin as they walked up to the front of the emergency room-after a fair amount of griping and groaning he'd been able to convince his strawberry to let him tag along with the promise that he would be on his best behavior and keep his hands to himself.

Not exactly the easiest task but Grimmjow was confident that he'd manage. All he desired at this moment was spending more time with Ichigo even if it meant waiting around endlessly for the other's name to be called.

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THANKS FOR READING AND YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT!

~SLY~