Joker let out a shuddered breath and opened his eyes.

Shit…

His heart was racing in his chest. He felt too hot in his t-shirt. An uncomfortable bead of sweat ran down the back of his neck and his leg ached from standing. He took a step back, wanting to put just a little room between him and Shepard. His knee buckled under him and he felt himself slip backwards and the pain of landing on the ground.

"Joker!"

"Ah…shit, shit… Goddamn. Real smooth, Joker…" he muttered.

"Are you okay? Did you break anything?" Shepard knelt; his knee was placed between Joker's, his hand reaching forward cautiously. "Do I need to get Chakwas?"

No breakage. He'd be in a hell of a lot more pain if he'd broken anything. Y'know the old adage, try to land on a large, fleshy area when falling – his arse apparently took the brunt of the fall. "No. Unless you count my pride. Pretty sure that's shattered into pieces."

Shepard sighed in relief. "God, way to scare me though."

Joker gulped as Shepard pressed his hand to his cheek, running his thumb over his skin. He felt so dumb just sitting here but he'd never really thought past this. Why think over something that was never going to happen, right? Yet…here he was.

"I thought I'd scared you," Shepard said and he looked away but didn't remove his hand from Joker's cheek. "I should have asked. I apologize. That was rude."

"Asked to kiss me? That's way unromantic, Commander."

"We're back to 'Commander', are we?"

"I dunno, are we back to 'Joker' now?"

They stared at each other for a moment before laughing nervously. Shepard withdrew his hand, rubbing the back of his neck instead.

"Didn't know you wanted romance," Shepard said. "Should I bring you some flowers?"

"Hell no, I'm not putting any stinky flowers in my cockpit. You want to buy me a present you can get me a…errm…well, I don't really want anything. How about a beer?"

"Beer I can do. You're not sick of beer? Besides, it's not very romantic."

"Well I don't like wine."

Shepard sat back on the ground to mirror his position. His bare feet twitched, one still settled between Joker's knees. It was obvious that neither of them knew what to say and for the first time in a very long time the silence hung uncomfortably in the room. Shepard was scratching at his hairline, staring at the ground next to him.

"So…" Joker started. Not that he really knew where he was going with it, but he didn't know where he was going with any of this.

Goddamn, he wished he'd thought this through.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make this uncomfortable."

"You're talking like I had no part in this. I'm pretty sure I kissed you."

Shepard looked up at him. "That's funny, because I'm pretty sure I kissed you."

"So we're going to argue over who kissed who first? Should I ask EDI for a blow by blow? Because I gotta say, that's just gonna be awkward."

"Let's just leave EDI and Cerberus out of this." Shepard ran his tongue back and forth over the scar on his lip and Joker internally berated himself for watching him.

"I'm just saying…" Shepard began again, but it took him a moment. Gathering thoughts seemed especially difficult right now. "It's not fair of me to force something on you that you don't want."

"What the hell gave you the impression that I don't want it? You're not exactly pinning me down here and stealing my womanly chasteness."

Shepard laughed and shook his head. "That's not what I mean. But I'm your friend, and your Commanding Officer, I don't want you to think that you're somehow…forced."

Joker raised his eyebrow. Shepard couldn't be serious. That was what he was worried about? "You can't change the rules half way through and decide that suddenly you being my CO actually matters to you, Tris. You and I both know that's a damn lie. You're not forcing me and I don't feel obligated; I'm not being coerced or bullied or intimidated or any other word you can think of."

"But Kaidan—"

"Do I look like Kaidan? I don't really have that dark, broody thing going on. C'mon, next you'll be telling me you're worried you're going to hurt me because I'm a cripple. Are you trying to take it back because I'm not really—" Joker paused as Shepard's hand came to rest over his mouth. He stared at the Commander. His blue eyes were searching him, confused, maybe worried? It was hard to tell.

"Be quiet for a minute, would you?" Shepard said and Joker narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, I know, difficult for you. What would you do if you couldn't fill silence with your chatter and jokes? But just…shut up. Jeff, you are incredibly important to me."

Shepard's voice trembled slightly and he swallowed. Joker could see the rise and fall off his Adam's apple.

"I don't want to fuck this up." He lowered his hand slowly. "I need you. As my friend, as my pilot, as whatever you want. If you just want to be friends then I can pretend this never happened. But I don't want to just be friends."

Sometimes watching Shepard made his heart ache. He could be so sweet and stupid. Maybe this is what Kelly had been talking about because right now he just wanted to hug Shepard and pat him on the head and tell him everything would be okay. "Tris, I haven't wanted to be just friends for a pretty long time."

Shepard leaned forward and placed his fingers underneath Joker's chin and he really had no choice but to follow. He let Shepard lean over him and smiled at the innocent press of lips against his. Maybe it wasn't perfect but he hadn't really thought much about what 'perfect' would be like. So maybe this was perfect and he just hadn't realized it yet. Of course, far be it from him to figuratively sit around – not literally, because all he really did was sit around – and do nothing. Just because Jeff Moreau didn't get much action did not mean he didn't know what he was doing. He reached up and placed his hand on the back of Shepard's neck and pulled him closer and apparently that was all the incentive he needed. Tris brushed his tongue against Joker's lips and his hand pressed against his waist, fingers just touching against bare flesh under the hemline of his shirt.

Tristan Shepard knew exactly what he was doing.

They were sitting in the middle of Starboard Observation in the middle of the damn night necking like damn teenagers and Joker had to curse his body's very teenage response, but damn, it had been a while. Everything was this pleasant fuzz; the feel of Shepard's fingers against his skin, lips against his, his smell in the air around him, his taste. God, his taste…that wasn't going to get old anytime soon.

He felt a flare of heat at his side and his nerves pulsed. He couldn't help the involuntary jump he gave and the small grunt of surprise.

"Sorry… A little carried away."

Joker knew he was breathing too hard. Were his cheeks red? They felt hot. Should he say something? God…he really was acting like a nervous teenager. "It's fine…just surprised. It's a, ermm…interesting feeling."

"It gets better," Shepard said and grinned.

Joker swallowed. He really wished that Kaidan had never told him about that night in the bar because it all came rushing back to him now and his mind was imagining exactly what Shepard could do with his talents. The other, perhaps more sensible part of his mind repeated that they were in the middle of Starboard Observation. "Maybe we should… Uhhh, not here? Later." He mentally kicked himself because all he really wanted was for Shepard to kiss him again. "It's gonna sound cliché but it's late and you have to get up in the morning and I can't believe I just said that… What's wrong with me?"

Shepard smiled. "You have a point, though. I hear the Helmsman gets pretty antsy when people don't show up for their shift on the bridge and this bucket ain't gonna fly herself."

"Did you just call my baby a bucket?"

"In the nicest possible way," Shepard said. He ran his thumb over Joker's bottom lip and grinned again.

And Joker's heart melted. Oh god…he was going to turn into one of them. The soppy, horrible romantic sort. Next he'd be discussing romance novels with Kasumi or giggling in engineering with Tali. No, think manly thoughts. Spaceships. Spaceships were manly.

"Good night, Jeff," Shepard said. He slowly stood and winced as his shoulder cracked. "You…uhh…right there? Do you need help getting up?"

Joker frowned. "Please. I fell here, I get myself up. You know that. I'm good. I'm just going to chill out here. Me and the floor."

Shepard held up his hand. "Just checking. Enjoy your floor." He smiled and took a couple steps backwards, hesitant to leave. He was almost adorably awkward, wringing his hands together before finally nodding and leaving the room.

Joker sighed as the doors slid closed. What had just happened? He brushed his hand over his head and leaned forward, wrapping his arms around his knees. He, Jeff Moreau, had just been kissing Commander Tristan Shepard. Captain of the Normandy, saviour of the Citadel, first human Spectre – that Shepard. He smiled – hell, he grinned, his cheeks aching.

But his mind did settle again on the uncomfortable thought of what the hell he was supposed to do now. Even in his wildest fantasies he'd pretty much gotten up to the point of throwing himself at Shepard and yeah, maybe his dreams had wandered a few times to some pretty incredible dream-sex, but a relationship? That's what this was turning into, right? Tris wasn't the type to have casual flings, especially with friends. Shepard wanted more and yeah, he did too, but…

In his secluded life he'd never really thought about relationships or even the possibility of relationships. There had been women before, but most just weren't prepared to throw their lot in with a sarcastic, snarky cripple. When it came to a relationship he didn't even know where to begin.

"The Reapers and Collectors use a sophisticated Identify Friend or Foe system that allows them to travel through the Omega 4 relay. Without one, we would probably be destroyed as soon as we attempted to activate the relay," Miranda said. She ran her hand over the console and brought up an image of the device. "We need to find one."

"We could have picked one up while we were on the Collector Ship. Anyone ever thought of that?" Shepard asked and leaned against the bench.

"EDI only just confirmed this information. Besides, there wouldn't have been time. You barely made it off the Collector vessel, Commander."

Jack snarled. "Yeah right. We could have gotten it for you. Cerberus just enjoys jerking us around."

Shepard couldn't help but agree in this situation. "Well…what do we do now?"

"We have options," Miranda said. She brought up another screen. "We recently discovered this."

A Reaper.

"It's in our space?" Tali asked.

"It's a derelict. Possibly over 37 millions years old. It's trapped in the gravity field of a brown dwarf star. The Reaper has a mass effect field that keeps it in orbit – probably an automated response to heavy damage. It's stable."

"But dangerous," Tali said. "Going aboard a ship that old… The slightest disturbance could damage the mass effect field and it would be pulled into the brown dwarf."

"Sounds like fun," Garrus said and thumped Shepard on the back.

"Cerberus lost contact with the science team aboard, so we can only expect the worst," Jacob said and folded his arms. "Dr Chandana was supposed to report in anything they found."

"EDI, you sure this IFF is going to work? There's not some special Reaper code or colour coded paint or some other crap that's going to stop us from being burned up in the relay?"

"My analysis is correct, Shepard. I have also determined the approximate location of the Collector home world based on information from their vessel."

The screen blinked to a picture of the galaxy map. The reticule moved to the exact centre.

"Bullshit…" Shepard said.

"There can't be anything there!" Tali said and leaned forward. The galaxy map reflected on her visor. "That can't be right."

"EDI doesn't make mistakes," Miranda said. "The Collector home world is located at the galactic core."

"The core is just black holes… There's nothing there," Garrus said. "Nothing could survive."

"Could be artificial construction. Space station protected by powerful mass effect fields and radiation shields," Mordin said from the back of the room. He'd been silent until now, his fingers against his chin in thought. "Very possible. Very dangerous. Reapers have this technology? Logical."

"No wonder no one's ever returned from the Omega 4 relay," Shepard said.

"The logical conclusion is that a small safe zone exists on the far side of the relay. A region where ships can survive. Standard relay transit protocols would not allow safe transport. Drift of several thousands kilometres is common and would be fatal in the galactic core. The Reaper IFF must trigger the relay to use more advanced, encrypted protocols."

They didn't have just any pilot, though. Shepard smirked. "We'll be fine. But I don't want to be diving into anything without being ready. We've got a lot of work to do until then. The Normandy needs upgrades and I've got a lot of things to follow up. The Collectors and Reapers aren't going anywhere just yet. They'll probably be thinking they've got us on the run after yesterday."

"Why wait?" Jacob asked and shrugged. "They won't be expecting an attack."

"Probably, but we barely got away from the Collector vessel. I don't want to take that sort of chance again. A Reaper IFF ain't gonna do us much good if we're dead."

"It's your call, Commander. Whatever you decide, we're with you."

Mordin nodded and he and Jacob left.

"You call me when you need me, Shepard," Jack said. "Could use a little excitement." She glared at Miranda as she left.

"And here I was thinking that you were done with suicide missions," Tali said. "This is very dangerous."

"Ah, Tals, no sweat. You know me. We'll go in, guns blazing, find the IFF and Joker will have us outta there before the Collectors even know what's happening."

Tali nodded but didn't seem convinced. "Just be careful, Shepard."

He touched her arm as she left and she briefly paused to touch her fingers to his before leaving the room.

"Tali's right," Garrus said.

Miranda leant against the console. "There's no other way to do this. We need one of the IFF devices if we want to travel through the relay."

"I know that, but it doesn't stop it from being dangerous. And what then? We're really going to storm the Collector base?"

"Looks like it," Shepard said. There really wasn't anything else they could do. The Collectors weren't going to stop attacking colonies, and they were gearing up for a full assault on Earth. Even if they all died in the process, taking the Collectors down was a worthy cause.

Though he really hoped it wouldn't come down to that.

"Shepard, please come see me when you're available," Miranda said and pushed away from the console. "We have a lot to discuss."

Garrus watched her leave before turning to Shepard. "Now that they're gone…I've got a little situation I'd like to go deal with. We're just outside the Citadel so if we've got time…"

"Situation? Is this like the last situation you wanted to deal with?"

Garrus gave a short laugh. "A little. I guess I do come to you like this a lot."

"Garrus…I'm not about to let you run off and deal with things by yourself. We're in this together."

"You don't understand…" Garrus turned and paced to the door and back, as if weighing up whether to just leave. "I didn't tell you about why I was on Omega."

"With the name 'Archangel' I figured your vigilante status had become a little more serious than the usual."

Garrus huffed out a small laugh. "Not a name I gave myself. I'm not that pretentious." He walked back over and stopped to lean against the counter. "Mercenary work opened my eyes. There were twelve of us. Former military agents, C-Sec agents, the usual. My tech expert was a batarian, believe it or not."

Shepard wrinkled his nose at the thought and looked at the ground. He knew he shouldn't continue to hold old grudges, and not everyone could be painted with the same brush, but it was hard to put aside the memories of an entire colony being tortured…killed…

"I know. He wasn't the friendliest guy, but he could hack any system ever built. Omega… You saw Omega. Full of thugs kicking the helpless. I formed a team to kick back. We weren't really mercenaries. No one paid us."

"I assume that's where the trouble started. You couldn't have been a popular guy."

"I got three separate merc bands working together to take me down. My manager at C-Sec would have been proud." Garrus stood again and walked past Shepard, his hands behind his back. "We'd do all we could to get under their skin, make them angry. They'd come charging right into our well-prepared kill-zone. Crossfire and snipers. They never stood a chance."

"If it was so well planned how'd those mercenary bands take down your team?"

Garrus looked away and turned to face the wall. "It was my own damn fault. This is where you come in, I guess. One of my team betrayed me. A turian named Sidonis. He drew me away just before the mercs attacked my squad, then he disappeared. Everyone except me is dead because of him, and I didn't even see it coming."

"You couldn't have known."

"Yeah." But it was obvious Garrus wasn't listening and wouldn't listen to advice or accept any sympathy. "Sidonis asked for my help on a job. When I got to the meeting point, no one was there. When I got back to our hideout the mercs had killed all but two of my squad. They didn't last long either. Sidonis booked a transport off Omega just before the attack. He cleared out his private accounts before he left. He sold me out and ran. I lost my whole team."

"So I'm guessing this little stop on the Citadel is to deal with Sidonis?"

"I found a lead on him. There's a specialist on the Citadel. An expert on helping people disappear. Sidonis was seen with him. You humans have a saying 'an eye for an eye'. A life for a life. Sidonis owes me ten lives."

"We also have a saying; 'an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind'."

"I'm not asking you to agree with what I'm doing, Shepard. You can either help me or I go on my own. Sidonis betrayed me and I plan to make him pay for it."

Shepard folded his arms. Vengeance never got anyone anywhere, but he had to try to think about this from Garrus' point of view. If it had been his whole squad that had been taken down he'd want the person responsible to pay. How could he judge Garrus harshly when his reaction was the norm?

"I'll go with you. You and me, Garrus. Brothers, right?" He held out his hand to Garrus.

Garrus turned. He nodded and took Shepard's hand. "Brothers."

Vengeance.

And eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth. A life for a life.

Shepard looked at Garrus and found that he felt sad for him. He pitied him. He was lost in this. He'd known Garrus for a while now – he'd been one of the first to join him on the hunt for Saren. He'd never doubted the turian before but he'd always watched him. Garrus had the potential to become a liability, to snap and endanger a mission, all because of his views. He didn't like protocol, hated red tape, and liked to get things done his way. Shepard had tried to reign him in, tried to show him that sometimes regulations and laws were there for a reason, and while they could be bent they should seldom be broken, but he'd always felt Garrus never really understood.

It made him question his own motives. Was he too disciplined? Had the Alliance beaten regulations and protocol into him until he'd become a mindless drone? He didn't think he had but having someone like Garrus question everything he believed in sometimes made him wonder.

He wasn't big on protocol, but he believed rules were there for a reason. Rules weren't arbitrary things designed to get in the way. Yes, some rules were stupid and go ahead, break them, but others were there for the benefit of everyone. You don't torture or humiliate prisoners, you don't slaughter civilians, you don't shoot an unarmed man. They were less rules and more moral standards.

Now, looking at Garrus, he had to wonder if the turian had completely lost his way.

"Garrus, that's enough." He held his hand up in front of Garrus' chest. The turian looked at him and sneered but it was good to see he still listened to reason. He removed his foot from Harkin's neck and took a step back.

"Terminus really changed you, huh, Garrus?" Harkin said. He rubbed at his neck and crawled to his knees.

"Sidonis opened my eyes. Arrange a meeting."

Harkin stood slowly and Garrus motioned to the comm terminal. As Harkin made the transmission to Sidonis, Garrus pulled his gun, turning it over in his hand.

"He'll meet you in front of Orbital Lounge. Middle of the day. So…I'll just be going?"

Garrus grabbed his collar and dragged him forward to eye level. "I don't think so. You're a criminal now, Harkin."

"So you're gonna kill me? That's not your style, Garrus."

They stared at each other. Both stubborn, both filled with hate. But Garrus let him go. He took a step back and raised his pistol. "Kill you? No…that's not my style."

"And we'll be leaving you for C-Sec. Isn't that right, Garrus?" Shepard said. He put on the tone that he knew Garrus would listen to – he was the Commander, he was in charge, and Garrus would toe the line.

Garrus looked at him and his blue eyes were full of ice. Garrus had never looked at him like that before, but he'd also never had to assert his authority like this over the turian.

"Guess it's your lucky day, Harkin. I was going to shoot you." Garrus lunged and cracked his head against Harkin's. Harkin cried in agony and fell to the ground, clutching at his bleeding skull.

"I didn't shoot him," Garrus said and followed Shepard out of the room.

Shepard couldn't help a small smirk. Garrus would always be Garrus, even if he did need to be pulled into line occasionally. They'd be alright.

They took a shuttle to the meeting point. Garrus was quiet most of the way, lost in his own thoughts. Shepard still didn't know what was going to happen but he knew better than to try to talk Garrus out of this. Maybe Sidonis did deserve to die for what he'd done – he didn't know – but he would help Garrus if this is what he wanted to do.

"Thanks for helping me with this, Shepard," Garrus said when the shuttle landed.

"I've got your back, Garrus."

"I can get a clear shot from over there," Garrus said and pointed to a position that looked over the foyer. "I need time to set up."

"And I'm to do?"

"Keep him talking and don't get in my way. Simple."

"Yeah. Simple."

Garrus nodded and left to take his position and Shepard spotted who he could only assume was Sidonis sitting on a bench across the foyer.

"That's him," Garrus said. Suspicions confirmed. "Just keep him talking."

Sidonis looked up and Shepard gestured him over. The guy wasn't expecting a thing, but he was on edge. He walked over and looked Shepard up and down. "Harkin sent you? Let's get this over with."

"Move to the side. You're in my way," Garrus said over the comms.

Shepard looked at Sidonis. He was tense, his eyes shifting back and forth to look around him. He had screwed Garrus and his team, taken his money and made a run for it when it all became too much, but Garrus didn't have the right to play executioner. He'd hate himself for it later. Killing Sidonis wasn't going to bring his team back and it wasn't going to make him feel better.

"Sidonis, don't move. You're probably not going to believe me but I'm trying to help you. If you move, you're going to get a bullet through the brain."

Sidonis' eyes went wide and he frantically looked around but didn't move an inch.

"Dammit, Shepard! Move!"

"You're not kidding…are you?" Sidonis asked. "I'm not sticking around here."

"You idiot. Don't move." Shepard grabbed his arm and pulled him back when he tried to leave. "I'm the only thing between you and a bleeding hole in your skull. God, you're thick."

Sidonis looked around again, obviously trying to find the assassin.

"Just…tell me why you betrayed Garrus."

"You're here for Garrus?"

"Garrus is one of my best friends. He thinks he has to kill you to make it even. I'm not so much into the killing but if you don't give me some sort of information to please him, then he's going to shoot you, understand?"

Sidonis threw his hands up. "I didn't want to do it! I didn't have a choice. They got to me. Said they'd kill me if I didn't help. What was I supposed to do?"

"Let me take the shot. He's a damn coward!"

"So you were just trying to save yourself?" Shepard asked. Sidonis moved and Shepard followed, keeping himself in the way of Garrus' shot.

"I know what I did. I know they died because of me. I have to live with that. I wake up every night…sick…sweating. Each of their faces staring at me…accusing me. I'm already a dead man. I don't sleep…food has no taste. Some days I just want it to be over."

Shepard looked at Sidonis. He was right – he was a dead man. This was a fate worse than death. If he had felt nothing, if this really had just been for the money or for fear of his own safety, Shepard might have let Garrus take the shot, but Sidonis felt guilty and knew what he did was wrong. He would have to live with that and hopefully try to atone.

Shepard touched his hand to his comm piece behind his ear. "Garrus…let it go. Look at him. This is worse than anything you could do to him. Don't hurt yourself more by doing this."

"He still has his life! My men…they deserved better."

"Yeah, they did. But you were their leader and they wouldn't want this to destroy you, too."

"Tell Garrus… I guess there's nothing I can say to make it right." Sidonis sighed.

There was silence at the other end of the comms. Shepard had to make a choice. He'd done what he could and this was up to Garrus now. He stepped back away from Sidonis and cleared the line of sight.

And waited.

Nothing.

"Just…go. Tell him to go."

Shepard breathed out the air he didn't know he'd been holding up until that point. His heart slowed in his chest. "Sidonis, he's giving you a second chance. Don't fuck it up. Get outta here."

Sidonis nodded but said nothing. He was shaking.

Shepard met Garrus back at the shuttle. He looked furious, holding back whatever it was he wanted to say.

"Garrus—"

"I don't want to talk about this, Shepard. Not yet."

"I know this isn't what you had in mind, but trust me, this is for the best."

"I'm not so sure. Maybe time will be enough. I want to know I did the right thing…not for me, but for my men. They deserve to be avenged, but when Sidonis was in my sights…I just couldn't do it."

"An eye for an eye, remember? You're not blind, Garrus."

Garrus nodded. "I could see the good still left in him. Damn…it's so much easier to see the world in black and white. Gray? I don't know what to do with gray."

"Never mind gray; the universe is a fuckin' rainbow. Don't be too hard on yourself." He patted Garrus on the arm and gestured to the shuttle.

Garrus nodded. "Thanks, Shepard. For everything."

Shepard hovered in the mess hall, not really sure of what to do with himself. He didn't want to admit it but the situation with Garrus had gotten to him more than he expected. Now that he had some of his old crew back, the possibility of someone betraying them and putting them all at risk was very real. Any one of his new crew, a Cerberus agent, they could sell them out. Turn them over to the Collectors and they'd never see it coming. If he survived, he would hunt that person down too. Just like Garrus he would be filled with rage, a need for vengeance and forever live with the knowledge that he had brought the traitor into their midst.

He sat down at the table and put his head in his hands. His stomach was squeezing with hunger but, like a lot of the time, he just couldn't bring himself to eat anything. Eating seemed like a chore.

"Commander?"

Shepard looked up at Miranda. "Yeah?"

"Is there something wrong?"

He couldn't decide whether she actually cared or it was a question out of habit and duty. Her tone was so hard to read sometimes. "Fine. Just…" He couldn't think of a good reason why he was here.

"Could you join me in my office?" she asked.

He had no reason not to so he stood and followed her, watching her boots tap against the floor as she walked. Miranda sat down at her desk and gestured to the chair. Shepard remained standing – he was too restless to sit and be comfortable.

"I've been meaning to thank you," she said. "You put time aside to help me and Oriana."

"You never told me whether you spoke to her."

Miranda bowed her head. "She has what I wanted her to have. A normal life and the freedom to choose her own path. And she knows she has an older sister."

Shepard smiled. "I knew you'd do the right thing. Are you going to stay in touch?"

"I honestly don't know. For once I haven't planned that far ahead. I'll deal with it after all this is done. I need to focus and she needs time to adjust."

"What did you end up saying to her?" he asked. "Must have been a difficult icebreaker."

Miranda stood and walked over to the window. Docked at the Citadel there wasn't much to see except the docking bay and what they could see of the light of the Widow behind them. "I introduced myself. Her family was shocked, but she adjusted quickly, of course. She's as smart as I am. She's really funny – something we don't share." Miranda smiled and pushed a lock of hair away from her face.

"It's really nice to see you smile like that," Shepard said. "You put up a front that pushes people away…but you're under there."

Miranda turned and looked at him. She walked over and placed her hand on his arm. "The mission is too important to let personal feelings get in the way." She trailed her hand down his arm and then let it slip away. "But thank you again, Commander. My sister is safe again. I won't forget that."

Shepard nodded and left. Personal feelings…

After Mindoir, Akuze…he would have had every right to be just like Miranda. Closed off, isolated from others, keeping his heart in check lest he get close to anyone. But he didn't want to be like that. He'd been taught differently. After Mindoir when the Alliance led him away they made him feel like he had a place to belong, after Akuze he had been welcomed home, after the final fight with Saren he had been drawn into the arms of friends. His whole reason for doing this, for picking himself back up and continuing, was for the people around him. He wanted Garrus to feel like he had someone who would always be there for him, he wanted to one day give Tali a home, he wanted Joker…

To be happy.

Truthfully, he hadn't thought much about this. He had felt it, maybe he'd always felt it? The pull towards Joker, like a star's gravity. He's always felt so comfortable around him. There had never been any awkwardness, fear of saying or doing the wrong thing, and it had been so easy to let Joker close to him, to pour out his emotions, his fears, onto his unsuspecting pilot. But Joker had always accepted it, let him talk, let him be close, gave him what he needed.

How long had Joker felt the same pull of gravitation?

It was probably inevitable that they would collide. He just never saw it coming. Not until he felt the snap of electricity between them, like a jolt through his heart and his head that screamed wake up!

He made his way up to the CIC. A couple Cerberus officers saluted him as he walked past and he nodded at them as he made his way to the bridge.

The world, the universe, humanity – it was all just a giant amorphous blob unless you knew someone, cared for someone. That's what made heroes. They protected people they cared about, people they loved.

He stopped behind Joker's chair on the bridge, watching briefly as the pilot tapped away at his console, deep in thought. He smirked and spun Joker's chair around to face him.

"Hey! God—Shepard?"

Shepard smirked. He didn't care who was here. He didn't care who saw or who said what. He reached over and took the cap off Joker's head, dropping it in his lap, and then leaned down and kissed him.

The people he loved – that's who he was fighting for and damned if anyone would tell him to put those feelings aside.

"How's shift?" Shepard pulled away slightly and asked.

Joker stared at him, his eyes wide, his lips still parted in an almost endearingly confused way. "Uh, well, a lot better now," he said.

"Good," Shepard said and leant forward, pressing his forehead to Joker's and closing his eyes.

He smiled when he felt Joker's arm loop around his neck and hold him closer.