{A/N: Follows directly after the implied talk from Chapter 11, so you might want to go back and refresh your memory of what that means.}
Femur
Now if there's ever a talk that McCoy never wants to have again, ever, it's this one, sitting across his desk from a now-buzzed and fidgety Jim, a dead silence fallen after he's explained he and Spock's new... relationship.
He's never considered himself lucky to not be there for his daughter's adolescence, but at least he won't have to give The Talk.
McCoy throws back the last swallow of his whiskey and sighs, spinning the top back on the bottle and stashing it away, setting the improvised beaker/shot glasses to the side for cleaning. "Well, can't say it's too much of a shock."
Jim snorts. "I'm starting to think the only ones who didn't see it coming're me and Spock." McCoy shrugs. "Bones, I'm scared. I've never exactly been good with this shit before."
"Don't preach to the choir, kid. Neither of us have a good track record with women - or, I guess, dating in general, in your case." Jim sticks out his tongue to hide his flush. McCoy leans forward, makes sure Jim is looking at him. "You know that whatever happens, no matter how much you fuck it up or how much you don't, I'll be here for ya, right?" His voice comes out softer than he intends. The corner of Jim's mouth pulls up.
"Yeah. Yeah, I do."
"Good. And if that Gods-be-damned celery stick we call a XO lays a finger on ya, I'll fillet him, understand?"
Jim can't help but laugh at that. "You'll be the first to know, Bones."
McCoy sits back and chews on the inside of his cheek. "I'll need to find that fillet knife I've got around before I have that word with him."
"Ah, hell, please don't tell me you're gonna give him the shotgun talk for me, I'll never live that down."
"Well someone's gotta put the fear of God in him!" Jim rolls his eyes and crosses his ankle over his opposite knee.
"Dunno what I'd do without you, Bones."
"Not captain a starship, that's for one." McCoy busies himself with his 'paperwork'. "Now go do... whatever it is you and Spock do for fun. God, I never want to picture any of that ever again."
Jim chuckles and stands, coming around the desk for a moment to clap McCoy's opposite shoulder, lean in in a strange not-quite hug. "Love you, too."
"Mmm. Now get out of my sickbay."