Education of the Heart
Secrets Revealed
It was a more or less normal Sunday in the university hospital. Dr. Benevole waited for his patient in his office. He had hidden all things he did not want them to touch or use, such as notebooks and pencils and even more important, his notes and files. Instead he had put out paper and pencil stubs for Dede, Rene and Jules as well as a chocolate box. It kept them quiet while he and Erik talked.
In the last weeks he had been very pleased with Erik's progress. Of course he knew from Clemenceau what had happened and Erik had told the doctor openly about this. He had even admitted to suffer claustrophobia when locked in. But it was not the claustrophobia that had shaken him so badly, it was the realization what Christine must have experienced when he abducted her. This was great progress and Dr. Benevole was sure the confrontation with the managers could soon happen without any nasty surprises.
The door was opened without a knock, but he knew that Erik did not like to knock. The doctor got up and gasped in shock as he saw Erik. Erik's face, the visible part of it, that is, was ashen, his eyes sunken in and dark shades around them. He swayed on his feet and looked like he might pass out any moment now. Erik's hand was on Jules shoulder as if he needed something to hold onto to prevent himself from falling.
"Erik - what happened?" the doctor asked.
"I'm just a little bit dizzy. I need to sit down," Erik answered, too tired to care about his manners. Jules gently led him to the settee in one corner of the room. Erik did not even try to take off his cloak or his shoes, he just lay down on his back and his eyes closed of their own accord. Just resting his eyes, he convinced himself, the sunlight had hurt them. He fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
Dr. Benevole stood there, not knowing what to do. "I need to examine him," he said.
"Erik is tired," Rene told him in a manner a doctor would inform his colleague about a patient.
"Didn't sleep much last nights," Dede added.
"Why didn't he sleep?" the doctor asked, surprised that the mongoloid men were not only willing to help but able to do so.
"He met his girl-singer," Dede explained.
"Girl-singer?" the doctor paled. Could it be that Erik had been visiting Christine Daae? So much for the police and even some private investigators keeping an eye on him. "Christine Daae?"
The three men looked at each other and shrugged as if they didn't know that name.
"Very young woman, dark brown curls and blue eyes?" The doctor asked and their faces lit up.
"Yes, very nice girl," Rene said.
"Very very nice," Dede tried to surpass him.
"Not as nice as blonde dancer," Jules disagreed sulkily. Obviously the three friends had discussed this before.
Dr. Benevole sat down behind his desk and gestured for the three men to take their seats at the small couch-table. He looked to Erik who had curled up in a fetal position and was slightly snoring. The doctor wondered how exhausted the masked man was that he did not wake up when they talked. How many sleepless nights had he spend at the singer's home that his body needed rest so badly he simply refused to wake up despite all noises?
"So... he met Christine Daae and Meg Giry," the doctor mused, "And he never told me."
"Don't tell him you know!" Rene begged.
"We didn't tell you!" Dede added.
The doctor sighed. "Don't worry. He will not be able to do anything to you. He's the one who has to answer for breaking the rules - again."
"Not punish him!" Dede exclaimed horrified, "No!"
"What of us, if punished?" Rene asked, obviously swallowing a few words of his sentence.
"Our fault!" Jules stated.
"Your fault?" the doctor asked.
It took almost an hour until the doctor got the necessary information from them. Obviously Erik had met the Giry's by chance in the street. Maybe it was not such a coincidence with Christine, for Erik was obviously the one who helped in Gontier's office and the doctor remembered that Erik had told him that he qualified as secretary. So, of course, if Erik was the one to plan the different routes for the carts he could easily arrange by chance meetings with almost everyone he wanted. This was no good sign, especially since they passed Mademoiselle Daae's home every Wednesday exactly when she was leaving for rehearsal. The doctor was angry with himself for not giving Erik much more restrictions. He had not forbidden him to help Gontier if he wanted to - and of course Gontier was happy to have a workman who could fill any position in his enterprise. And Erik knew how to get what he wanted. Everyone seemed to be happy - except the doctor who regarded this as severe relapse in the mental illness of his patient. He was still obsessed with the girl, and it was this obsession that had made him so dangerous. Before that he was just an extortionist, but then he had become kidnapper and murderer, which was far worse.
Dr. Benevole decided to wake Erik, which turned out not an easy task. Only when he shook him Erik opened his eyes and looked around in confusion, not knowing where he was at first.
"Did I... sleep?" he asked drowsily, shaking his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts.
"Erik, we have to discuss a serious issue," the doctor stated firmly.
"Yes?" Erik tried to be attentive, but as he rested his head in his arms and could barely keep his eyes open.
"You met the Girys and Mademoiselle Daae?" the doctor asked.
"Hmmm? Maybe..." Erik answered, his eyelids almost closed.
"We talked about that before. You know the rules. You disobeyed."
"I did not. I met them by chance and both times it was them who invited me," Erik defended himself. He yawned and slumped back on the settee in a half-sitting half-lying position. "Can we discuss this later? I'm... so very tired."
"You wouldn't be if you had not been meeting Mademoiselle Daae each night!" the doctor scolded.
Erik glared at the doctor: "What are you implying by that? I did nothing to compromise her. I gave her some singing lessons, that's all."
"You are not allowed to work as a singing teacher!" the doctor snapped.
"I did not receive anything in return so technically it is no work," Erik objected, "I was only helping a friend, and that is surely not something any of your rules forbid."
"You know perfectly well what I am talking about!" the doctor now shouted, "Your obsession with Mademoiselle Daae is pathological. You... you behave like a drug addicted and she's your drug. You must stay away from her or you'll never overcome your mental illness. In a few years perhaps..."
"Years? Years?" Erik sat up, his anger stronger than the exhaustion, "I don't have years! You told me that I could see her if I was able to have a normal friendship with her. And that is exactly what I am doing now. I do not tell her anything about love or jealousy or that the Vicomte will never make her happy. Nothing. All I am doing is giving her music lessons to support her career. She benefits from that. Do you know how difficult it is to bite my tongue and never say any word about love? But I can do it, for the last week I could do it and you know what? It is becoming easier each time I see her."
Dr. Benevole grabbed Erik's collar and gave him a stern rebuke: "You know perfectly well that you are not allowed to confront any of your victims alone! Have you forgotten the escalations? What if she tells you something that you don't like again? Will you slap her or strangle her? You are the greatest danger she'll ever face!"
Erik freed himself and pushed the doctor away: "Thanks to your instructions I learned how to avoid losing my temper in such a violent way."
"And so you stay with her all night?" the doctor asked, afraid of what his patient might do to the poor girl.
"No, of course not!" Erik indignantly retorted, "I would never do anything to compromise her! We just sing for about half an hour and then I leave."
"But your friends told me you were not at home all night long?" Dr. Benevole asked suspiciously.
Erik glared at his friends who grinned sheepishly. "I did nothing bad," he defended himself.
"You know that you have to answer for every minute of the day. Tell me what you were up to and how you lost the policemen who were shadowing you?"
Erik grinned. "Losing them is easy in the slums at night, especially when they are not willing to get their shining boots dirty. And to answer your question: No, I did nothing bad. I just stay close to her home. Not in her flat, of course, just... close."
"Aha! You were breaking the rules again!" the doctor exclaimed accusingly, "You were spying on her to make sure no visitor was secretly coming to her."
"I am allowed to stay in the streets," Erik retorted angrily, "It is not like I went to the opera or something like that. Although I have to admit that I was tempted to go back."
"What hindered you?" Dr. Benevole asked curiously. He appreciated that Erik admitted to being tempted - and had not given in. There was hope that his patient would sometimes could be considered recovered and not more dangerous than anybody else. Of course Erik would forever be eccentric, but maybe he would no longer be dangerous to anyone. If he could only channel that creative energy he possessed into something good and not in breaking rules.
Erik's face softened and he looked at his three friends. "Dede, Rene and Jules. I could never take them with me down there, that would be far too dangerous for them. I can't go back to my old life and take them with me, and I can't abandon them."
"Did you ever think of what would happen if you were arrested and locked away?" the doctor asked.
Erik nodded wearily. "That is exactly what keeps me from quitting this farce and running away with Christine. I could run with her, but I can't take four people with me on a rather adventurous flight. I have no choice but to swallow my pride and submit myself to whatever orders you and Clemenceau give me."
"You call that submitting yourself? Are there any rules you did not break?"
"Yes, I avoid any drugs and do not drink alcohol, as you requested," Erik replied with an innocence that caused the doctor to laugh.
"O my," Dr. Benevole tried to stifle his laughter, "You really can't sort out which rules are more important than others. But next time you feel the need to break a rule, you ask me before you do so. I'm sure we'll find a way without you breaking any rules."
Erik stared at him blankly: "But... how could I ask you to help me?" It had never occurred to him that he would get help if he asked for it, on the contrary, his experience was that if he showed any signs of weakness others would just attack him.
"I am your psychiatrist, remember? All of your problems concern me, it is my job to help you. Get that in that thick skull of yours and stop hiding every important information from me!" Dr. Benevole almost screamed in his frustration.
Erik allowed himself a sly smile as he answered: "Temper, temper, my good doctor. Take a deep breath and if necessary leave the room until you calmed down." It was one of the techniques the doctor had taught him to control himself. Better leave a situation than create a scene or hurt someone. He so much loved to get back at the doctor. Not that he did not like that man, on the contrary, Erik considered the doctor someone close to being his friend, but he did not like being the weaker one in any kind of relationship.
"Okay, since you obviously are not able to play by any rules at all we have to work on that too," the doctor stated calmly, "Freedom does not agree with you. So, from this day on you live here in the hospital. You are allowed to go to work, of course, since that is obviously helpful. But you leave here in time to get to work and have to come back in acceptable time after your work is done. If you can't control yourself I have to control you."
"You can't..." Erik protested angrily.
"You can always chose the asylum or the prison, maybe the death sentence," Dr. Benevole shrugged seemingly unsympathetic.
Before Erik could reply anything his three friends jumped up and threw themselves on him, clinging to him with all their might. "Don't take him away!" Dede begged.
"We look after him," Rene promised.
"Like we do for kitten," Jules added and Erik laughed out loudly at that.
"Like you care for the cat. Yes, you give her milk and you cuddle her but if she messes up, is dirty or injured all you do is bringing her to me to care for her!" Erik laughed as he pushed them away. He wiped away the tears which were caused by his laughing fit, "Dr. Benevole - I'd gladly come to live here, here I would be provided with a bed and food and clean clothes and wouldn't have to worry about that each day. But I can't accept that generous offer - except if you take them in as well, meddlesome telltale as they are."
Dr. Benevole shook his head. This man really had a weird perception of the law and social obligations. Obviously Erik still did not accept that it was not him who made the rules and he had no right to bargain about the law. He should be thankful not to be in a prison cell awaiting execution. "Gontier cared for them before," the doctor reasoned.
Dede went to Dr. Benevole and said seriously: "When he cries, hold him." He sounded much like a doctor telling his colleague how to treat a patient with an unusual illness.
"When he screams, wake him," Rene added.
"When he can't sleep, he needs cuddly kitten," Jules stated with as much gravitas as a surgeon before a really difficult surgery.
Dr. Benevole looked at Erik who glared at his friends as if he would strangle them with his gaze. Erik did not like that they told the doctor of his nightmares that haunted him every so often. Dr. Benevole realized that it was not just them who needed Erik but he seemed to need them maybe even more.
"I will let you go - if you do not only agree to meet the managers tomorrow afternoon - Gontier knows you and your friends will not be working tomorrow afternoon - and you accept to learn how to play by rules in the therapy. I don't expect you to be expert in the first session, but you have to try. Agreed?" Dr. Benevole knew he was taking a risk in that, but right now he did not think it would be necessary to stop the experiment and have his patient arrested.
Erik nodded reluctantly. He disliked rules. Rules were only made to hinder him reaching his goals. Dede gently touched Erik's shoulder and said in a soothing tone: "Not alone. Erik not alone." Erik sighed and pushed Dede away, but his eyes gave away that he was moved by the way his friends cared for him.
"The managers will ask you about your lair in the cellars and they will of course demand that you compensate the damage you caused. Be prepared to have honest answers for them and do not even think of withholding any information from them," the doctor informed him.
Erik smiled arrogantly: "I anticipated that. Sometimes you are so damn easy to read."
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Erik is doing better than his reputation would let on - especially with his three friends.