"...Father?" Merlin couldn't believe his eyes, but the figure in front of him, though seemingly made of the same bluish-white light the crystals exuded, was unmistakably that of Balinor. Then he turned his attention to the second apparition at Balinor's side, a pretty woman dressed in a shimmering samite gown, with her dark hair piled elegantly atop her head. "Mother?" Keeping the crystal stalagmite at his back, he scrambled to his feet, suddenly afraid they were an illusion meant to mislead or entrap him. "How is this possible? Did you come through the tear in the veil?"

"No, we-" Balinor broke off and ran a hand through his hair. "Well, I'm not entirely sure how we got here, to be honest. Perhaps your mother can explain it better."

Merlin found his confusion somewhat reassuring; a dragonlord first and foremost, the more technical aspects of other types of magic had often eluded Balinor in life, so Merlin began to hope that this truly was his spirit. Surely no impostor could emulate his father's mind and mannerisms so perfectly.

"As you know, these crystals are the conduit through which magic first entered the world," Hunith explained, "and once in a while, the Goddess permits some of us who have gone to be with Her to travel through them as well, when there is great need to communicate with one on the other side. There is such a need now, and I was overjoyed at the chance to see you again, my son... I can't believe how you've grown."

She stepped forward, her eyes glistening with tears and hands outstretched, but she made no attempt to actually touch him, and he understood that she would not be able to. The look in her eyes, however, showed her love for him as clearly as any embrace. His throat suddenly too tight to speak, Merlin reached out to her in return; they remained that way for a long moment, their fingertips separated by less than an inch of space, yet also by the great divide between life and death that neither of them could ever hope to breach.

At last, Balinor cleared his throat and said, "I don't mean to interrupt, and don't think I'm not happy to see you again too, son, but our time here is short." He shot an apologetic look at Hunith. "Remember, my love, we're here because Merlin needs our help."

Blinking back her tears, she gave a brisk nod. "Yes, of course."

"Are you sure you can help me?" Merlin asked anxiously. "Nimueh said I've formed some sort of link with the underworld, and I keep dreaming about a woman who doesn't exist-"

"Morgana is very real," Balinor interjected. "In fact, she's the key to all your present difficulties."

The revelation that the baffling, maddeningly elusive delusion that had plagued him for months wasn't a delusion at all temporarily stunned Merlin, but then the rest of what his father had said sank in. "Wait – are you saying everything that's happening to me is because of her? But why would someone I don't even know want to do this to me?"

"Well, it's hardly intentional on her part," Hunith replied. "It's just that a piece of her soul is currently in the underworld, and because your magic is bound to hers, your soul is being drawn there as well."

Merlin shook his head. "I'm sorry, Mother, but you're not making any sense. How could my magic be bound to this woman's? She'd have to be my…well, you know…"

"Your wife?" Balinor finished for him. "Precisely."

Merlin gaped at him, speechless; maybe this was a trick after all. "But…but…that's impossible!" he sputtered when he was able to make his tongue work again. "I think I would remember getting married!"

"Not if your memories were stolen," Hunith countered, her expression darkening. "Your friends were right about Mordred having enchanted you, though their speculations fell far short of the true scope of his betrayal." She gestured to the huge crystal he had been resting against when she and Balinor first appeared. "Look, and it will show you the truth."

Still skeptical, but needing to know if there could possibly be any veracity to the outrageous things his mother's spirit was saying - and to unravel the mystery of Morgana once and for all - Merlin obediently turned to face the crystal, peering eagerly into its depths...and its inner radiance slowly dimmed, allowing him to make out the images within. At first he was disappointed to find himself gazing upon a familiar scene, because even though it had happened more than five years ago, he still remembered with perfect clarity the night his father had told him that he had reached an accord with King Uther, that the bitter war with Camelot was finally over - or perhaps not. In his recollection of the night in question, Balinor had only mentioned Uther's desire for Merlin to heal the wound Arthur had sustained while slaying a dragon as a condition of their treaty, but in the crystal's version of events there was more to their conversation.

"...Then there's the matter of Arthur's foster sister," the Balinor in the crystal continued, "a girl Uther took in when her father died."

"I never knew Uther had a ward," Merlin's past self remarked. "Does she need healing as well?"

"No, to the best of my knowledge the Lady Morgana is in perfect health. Uther doesn't want you to heal her, he wants you to marry her."

Next the crystal replayed his first visit to Camelot, except where Uther had stood alone in the warlock's memory, in this iteration he was accompanied by a girl of exquisite beauty, with clear porcelain skin, eyes like pale jade, and thick black hair that fell almost to her waist - yet Merlin had been dismayed to realize that she was his future wife, because his first impression of her was that she was haughty and cold. As they came to know one another better, however, he had discovered that beneath her icy facade was a compassionate, brave, intelligent woman, and by the time they actually married, she had become the love of his life, his true soulmate.

He must have closed his eyes at some point, overwhelmed by what he was seeing, but it didn't matter; the visions of his past were unfolding inside his head now, and he was no longer merely watching the tale play out but reliving it in vivid detail, every sound, scent, taste, and emotion, until at last his mind accepted that these were his own true memories and stopped fighting the earth-shaking shift in his reality, allowing the stolen memories to be fully reassimilated.

Then he suddenly found himself staring into the crystal again, as it showed him things he had never seen before: how Morgana had grown suspicious of Mordred after the incident with the Disir and enlisted Nimueh's help to learn the terrible truth of his origins, and how he had used Sefa to capture her before she could warn anyone, then stripped her of her magic and erased her from the memories of all who knew her before handing her over to that despicable lecher Agravaine.

By the time those images faded from within the crystal, Merlin was leaning on it again, too horrified and sickened by what he'd just seen to stand on his own. "Dear Goddess," he mumbled. "Morgana... This is all my fault..."

"No, it isn't," Balinor tried to reassure him, but Merlin refused to be consoled.

"How can you say that? It was my duty to keep her safe, and I failed her. And Mordred - Morgause conceived him using my blood! I should have stopped her-"

"How? Morgause had ways of concealing her doings even from those with the Sight, so how could you have known?"

"I don't know...but I should have-"

"There's no point in castigating yourself over what you should have done," Hunith interrupted. "You cannot change the past; all that matters is what you do now."

"You're right." Merlin straightened up, pushing his guilt aside and steeling himself for what he was now certain was the great quest Nimueh had mentioned. "Tell me how to break this enchantment, and I'll do it, whatever it is."

His determination earned an approving smile from the former queen. "First you must retrieve Morgana's magic from the underworld, and then comes the hard part: you'll have to find her and give her back the missing pieces of herself."

"That's the hard part?" Merlin asked incredulously.

"Yes, because she won't remember you, but just as she needed your cooperation to free you from Morgause's enchantments, so you must convince her to take back her magic of her own free will."

"That doesn't sound so hard. Once I explain what's been taken from her, why wouldn't she want it back?"

"I'm afraid it isn't quite as straightforward as that," Hunith cautioned him, her mouth twisting into a rueful half-grimace.

"Of course not," Merlin sighed. Arthur was right about one thing: magic, especially the kind used for any significant undertaking, was complicated, and there was almost always some hidden caveat. "What more do I need to do?"

"As you know, her magic is connected to yours through the link Nimueh forged between you during your wedding ceremony; therefore, in order to reclaim it she must also accept her bond with you."

"Are you saying I have to make her fall in love with me again?" Merlin suddenly felt his confidence ebbing away. "But I still have no idea how I managed it the first time!"

"Neither do I," Balinor teased, earning himself a stern look from his wife.

"I'm sure you'll find a way," she said in a much more supportive tone. "After all, Morgana's mind may not know you, but her heart and soul will."

"If I can find her," Merlin said dejectedly, unable to shake off the fog of hopelessness that was wrapping itself around him so easily. "The crystal couldn't show me where she is now, so I don't even know if she's alive-"

"She is," Balinor assured him, completely serious now. "It's worrisome that the crystals are blind to her location, I can't deny that, but she isn't with us."

"Thank the Goddess for that!" For a moment, Merlin's relief at hearing that wiped everything else from his mind, but then another problem presented itself. "Finding her won't do any good if I can't recover her magic, though. How am I supposed to survive entering the underworld?"

Balinor's bushy eyebrows lifted slightly. "I would have thought that would be obvious. You have the potential to be far more powerful than you are now, if you would only accept it."

Knowing what his father was referring to, Merlin took a step back, already shaking his head before Balinor finished speaking. "I don't want any more power, and I definitely don't want immortality or whatever else the prophecies say goes along with it!"

"There is more at stake than your personal desires," Hunith said sharply, fixing him with the same look she had once given him when, as a small child, he'd resisted eating certain vegetables. "Unless you accept your true self and become all you were meant to be, you will have no hope of restoring the woman you love to her true self. Besides, she is not the only one in danger; many of your friends' lives currently hang by a thread, and you do not have the strength to save them as you are."

That was certainly disturbing news, but at the moment, all he could think about was Morgana, everything they had shared, how happy they were, and he thought that he would give almost anything to have her back...except he couldn't be sure it would work out that way. After all, the reason he and Morgana had been so perfect together was that he had finally found an equal in her, but if he did what his parents were urging him to do, they would be equals no longer. His magic would outshine hers the way the sun outshone a candle, and as for how all that power would affect his mind, who could say...

"If I do this," he choked out, fighting to contain the fear that seemed to be squeezing all the air from his lungs, "will I still be myself? Will I even be human anymore?"

"Of course you will," Balinor said bracingly. "More or less."

Somehow, Merlin didn't find that very reassuring. "More or less? Well, which is it?"

Balinor could only shrug helplessly. "I'm sorry I can't be more specific; there's never been anyone like you before. Just know that whatever you become, you'll always be our son, and your mother and I will always love you."

Hunith immediately echoed his sentiments. Merlin couldn't help noticing that neither of them said anything about Morgana, but in the end he supposed it made no difference whether she would still love him or not; he would always love her, so there was no way he could condemn her to live out the rest of her days as a mere shadow of herself. He would do whatever it took to return her magic to her, even if it meant things would never be the same between them.

"All right," he said with a heavy sigh, "show me what I must do."

Balinor nodded and held out his hand, motioning for Merlin to follow him. "Come."

His parents led him into the very heart of the cave, which held the largest, purest crystal of them all. The magical energy emanating from its radiant, perfectly formed planes was so strong that the air itself seemed to shimmer and hum with it, and he could feel it pressing in on him, crushing him...

"Don't fight it," Hunith urged. "Open yourself to it."

Merlin took a deep breath and did as she said, clearing his mind just as he had once done when first learning to harness his own magic...and as he did so, the oppressiveness of the crystal's overwhelming energy lessened; instead, it felt welcoming, inviting... Obeying its call, he stepped forward as if in a trance and placed both hands on the crystal's pristine surface.

The power that surged through him then was like nothing he'd ever experienced in his entire life; he felt it coursing into every nerve, every vein, every minute fiber of his being - and his eyes, which he had closed against the initial onslaught, snapped open, revealing irises that were a brighter gold than they had ever been before...

###

Will was attacking his chores with an uncommon vigor - not because he'd suddenly discovered a passion for housecleaning, but just because throwing himself into his work helped to keep his mind off things - when someone grabbed his arm from behind, causing him to drop his bucket of wood-polishing oil. "What the-? Sefa? What's wrong? Did someone hurt you?"

He couldn't think of any other reason why her auburn hair would be hanging loose and disheveled around her shoulders instead of pulled back in its usual braid, her damp dress decorated with bits of wet grass, and her nails torn and bloody, especially with the unrest that had taken hold in the city as people panicked over the Dorocha and the Saxons, which had led to some outbreaks of violence despite the High Kings sending out patrols at every hour of the day and night.

She frantically shook her head, still clutching his arm as she gasped out, "Will, I need to tell you something about Merlin. He's not going mad-"

"I never said I thought he was," Will said sharply.

"I know, but I can tell it's crossed your mind. You think the woman from his dreams, Morgana, is a delusion-"

Now he was the one clutching at her, his fingers wrapping around her upper arms in an almost painfully tight grip. "How do you know that name?"

"I overheard you telling Arthur - actually, I was eavesdropping," Sefa admitted, lowering her gaze. She kept her head bowed as she continued, unable to look him in the eye while she confessed her crimes. "That's not the first time I'd heard of her, though. She's not a figment of Merlin's imagination, she's his wife. I know because I was her maid - that's how you and I came to know each other - and I... I'm the one who drugged her so Mordred could overpower her and cast the spell that made everyone forget her. I was there when he did it," she whispered, her eyes now squeezed shut.

"No." Will let go of her and backed away, tugging his arm out of her grasp. "No, this is impossible..."

"It's the truth," Sefa insisted, taking a compensatory step forward, refusing to let him brush her off. "Think, Will - you don't really remember how we met, do you? All you know is that I came to work at the palace in Dagon several months ago, and somehow we became friends, right?"

"Well, I... I don't..."

"If you need solid proof, I can show you where I hid all her belongings after I took them from hers and Merlin's chambers."

"That won't be necessary; I believe you." Once he looked past his denial and examined his own memories, Will found that his recollections of their early encounters were as vague as she'd said, and besides, why would she lie about something like this? "So you're Mordred's spy, huh? All this time, you've been using me-"

"No! No, Will, it may have started out that way, but I really do like you!"

"-And you betrayed Merlin!" he finished, his voice rising to an angry shout. "So why are you telling me this now? Aren't you happy that your master's plan to make everyone think Merlin was going mad worked so well?"

There was a time when Sefa would have quailed at his harsh words, but ironically, after spending so much time with him, it seemed some of his assertiveness had rubbed off on her - or perhaps, after having the foundation of her entire world ripped away, her nerves had simply been stretched to the point where her protective shell of meek passivity finally shattered. "He is not my master," she snapped, taking another step forward so that her face was only inches from Will's. "I never wanted to work for Mordred, I never believed in the nonsense he spouted...but my father did. He sent me here as a spy, and I obeyed because I was desperate to win his approval even though I hated the things I had to do. Now following Mordred's orders has gotten him killed, and I want nothing more to do with any of this."

Her voice grew softer as she went on, and by the end she was blinking back tears, which seemed to take the heat out of Will's fury. "I'm sorry about your father, Sefa," he said in a much kinder tone. He wasn't sure if he could ever forgive her, but he knew how it felt to lose a parent. "So what do we do now? Merlin needs to know the truth, but Arthur and Gwen sent him away with the High Priestess to be healed, and it'll take us too long to get to the Isle of the Blessed...unless..." He paused, the blood suddenly draining from his face.

"Unless what?" Sefa demanded.

"Well...a dragon could get us there in no time."

"So let's go find one." She turned to go, stopping when she realized Will hadn't moved. "What's the matter? Your master is a dragonlord, so surely you have nothing to fear from them."

"Not usually, but I've only gone near them when Merlin's around, and of course they're on their best behavior then. Who knows what they're like when no one's watching?"

###

Aithusa rolled onto her back, her wings spread out on either side and all four legs up in the air, and wriggled in the gravel surrounding her favorite garden pond, relishing the feeling of the sharp little stones digging into her hide, cleaning every last particle of dirt from between her scales and ensuring that nothing marred her immaculate whiteness - that would be simply intolerable. Lifting the tips of her wings off the ground, she admired the way the sunlight shone through the iridescent membranes and glimmered on each scale, each spike, each gracefully curved yet deadly claw; she truly was the loveliest creature in all of Albion, and that was exactly as it should be.

Then she let her wings fall back to earth, releasing her hot breath in a deep sigh. Everything else was not exactly as it should be. Merlin was gone, trapped inside the Crystal Cave - the other humans thought he had developed some sickness of the mind, but she didn't believe it; surely she would know if there was something wrong with her dragonlord. When she asked Kilgharrah about it, however, he refused to help, saying only that Merlin was where he was meant to be. Aithusa let out a soft growl and thumped her tail in frustration; she understood that Kilgharrah was the Great Dragon, the oldest and wisest of their kin, but his aversion to speaking plainly could be quite infuriating at times.

Just then, her sensitive ears picked up the sound of two humans approaching - and they were heading straight for her! She quickly rolled onto her side, assuming a more dignified pose, and tried to look like she was engaged in deep philosophical contemplations befitting a member of Albion's most ancient magical race. When her visitors came within speaking distance, she looked up with an air of regal hauteur. "Yes?"

Will shuffled a little closer. "Sorry to bother you," he said nervously - as he should be, Aithusa thought, "but we need your help." He quickly explained the situation, leaving out the part about Sefa's treachery - he didn't want her roasted on the spot, after all. "So can you take us to him?"

Aithusa nodded. "I can, but he isn't on the Isle of the Blessed anymore." She spread her wings and crouched down, inviting them to climb on her back. "He is currently much farther from here, so it would be best if we set out immediately."

###

Unfortunately, the white dragon soon realized she may have overestimated her abilities; she was now slightly larger than a draft horse, so there was plenty of room for her passengers (especially since Sefa seemed to be trying to make herself as small as possible, huddling close to Will and clutching his waist for dear life while occasionally letting out terrified whimpers) but it was still cumbersome for her to carry two humans such a long distance, their combined weight slowing her down - much to Will's frustration.

"Can't you fly any faster?" he demanded, nudging her with his heels as he would a horse.

"I'm doing the best I can," she huffed, "but you know I'm not fully grown yet. I could fly faster, though, if I wasn't burdened with such a heavy load."

"Hey," Will said indignantly, "don't you know it's not polite to comment on a girl's weight?"

Aithusa twisted her long neck so he could see her glaring at him. "I wasn't referring to the maid," she said tartly.

Whatever retort he might have offered was drowned out by a shriek from Sefa. "Watch where you're going!"

Aithusa rolled her eyes - there weren't exactly a great number of obstacles in the sky that she might crash into - but turned her head to face forward again, if only to placate the shrill human girl.

###

Despite Will's grumbling, they made fairly good time, reaching the Valley of the Fallen Kings just as the sun set. Following the sixth sense which told her that her dragonlord was nearby, Aithusa ran over to what appeared to be a large pile of rocks at the valley's northern edge and began pawing at it.

"I don't see Merlin anywhere," Will said anxiously.

"He's behind these rocks. This is the entrance to the Crystal Cave," Aithusa explained, "or at least it was until it collapsed."

"Well, you're a dragon - dig it out!"

"I can try, but the entrance is sealed with powerful magic - human magic, which is completely different from mine. I don't know if I'll be able to break it."

They never got to find out whether she could or not, because at that very moment, an explosive force erupted from inside the cave, shattering the blockage into a million shards of stone. Aithusa jumped back, spreading her wings to shield Will and Sefa from the flying debris. They stood there for several long seconds, peering apprehensively into the now-cleared mouth of the cave, until at last the dust settled and out stepped...

"...Merlin?"

Well, I hope this was at least a little happy-making to my fellow Mergana shippers; they've still got a ways to go before they can get back together (mainly because I just couldn't resist giving our hero a few more hoops to jump through) but at least Merlin's on the right track now.