Consequences

by NotAContrivance

Rocks are turning to sand, hearts are changing hands... Jude's all caught up in a reality show, everyone else's business, and this thing with her and Tom, whatever that is... And then there's Travis to muck it all up. Can you handle the consequences?

21. Too, Sexy Sadie

Okay, before you read this, something important to know... Though she went on tour with Shay, S.M.E. was with them when they were in Canada (excepting Montreal) or near the border. Because Jude does not ditch her band. Anyways, when the new season comes out, I'll try and incorporate things from it in here... Obviously she didn't do the little tour and Darius isn't going to buy G. Major. Anyways, but the songs and stuff... Which I'm sure will be killer. I went to this one site and it had titles to some of them... That was pretty cool.

Anyways, so I was downloading music the other day and I saw this song called "Transparent Lies" by Alexz Johnson... And I was wondering if it was on So Weird or whatever... It was pretty good. Anyways, not the point... I'm sure it'll pop up in some chapter, just you wait...

Anyways, I also know two things... People are going to be pissed about the Sadie song and sorta weirded outish by the end... Anyways, here's the thing about Sadie. I don't hate Sadie. I mean, she's not exactly the best sister in the world most of the time, but she's done some okay things... And her and Jude need some group therapy, but... So I don't hate her. I wish they made her a little less Barbie-ish. Because she's one of those people who wins EVERYTHING and is perfect and makes you feel bad because you're not... So, anyways, when you read the Sadie song, keep in mind that Jude was very angry, guilty, and that Sadie gets her revenge in her own special way... Oh, and take notice of when Jude calls Tommy Tom vs. Tommy. Very important there...

Oh, yeah... Don't own "Sexy Sadie", Instant Star, the sleeping/wake-up comment (there was one an awful lot like it on Jerry Springer a while back... lol), or any of the characters/songs that belong to Instant Star. I do own the made-up tabloids and "Minor Liaison", "Curly-Haired Wife Stealer", and "Too Sexy Sadie"...

Oh, and there is a reason Georgia was mean before... Her big sister's coming to town! I wanted to include that somewhere in the chapter, but I didn't... Now, since Georgia's in her early thirties ('cause I said so), and Tory's in her early forties (she was very young), Georgia's big sis is also in her early forties... Hmm. I'm not quite sure exactly when she'll pop up, but it'll be interesting. Anyone who guesses her first name gets a spoiler!

Oh, and on a side-note, I'm writing this Georgia fic because poor Georgia never gets to really have a BIG role, and I was wondering if anyone had dialogue from when she was talking to Darius at Jude's party... If you do, great, if you don't... It's cool... Oh, and another question... When Jamie was running in "Lose This Skin", what song was playing? I know it was ska, and I think it might've been by The Planet Smashers, but I dunno... Anyways. On with what you want to hear.

-

Tommy and I were headed out of the studio. Of course we didn't have the song fully recorded, but we had a jump start. It was pretty impressive for only a couple hours. We would, of course, be singing it over again, a fact that drove me insane. I still hated the song with a fiery passion, but now I hated it even more. I don't even remember how many takes Tommy had me sing, but I know they were a lot. I also know there's no way in hell that I'm singing "Minor Liaison". I guess I could just sing one of the, uh, happy songs I wrote on tour. Like "Curly-Haired Wife Stealer". That one's funny and cute.

Oh, and relax... It's not about Tommy being a slut. Sort of... um. I think. It's sort of a joke about Speed when were on tour together... I swear, if they were touring on their own, we wouldn't be able to keep the groupies away. Shay kind of sucked up all the groupies though. It's really impossible to score if you're on tour with Shay. Oh well.

"You're not the only one who hates that song, Harrison," Tommy muttered, scowling. I glared at him. What right did he have to say that? He just had to do back-up vocals, not even a full-on duet. He doesn't even join me for the chorus, and he's bitching?

I rolled my eyes at him. "You're just pissed about your vocals," I snorted, remembering the look on his face as he read them. It was a cross between an absolutely horrified look and a "this is so beneath me" look. Aside from the open, gaping stares he kept sending in my direction. I wanted to point out that I'd written the song before we supposedly slept together, but Tommy didn't ask. He never really asks about my songs. More like... tells.

"Yeah, because they sucked. Why didn't she let me write them?" Tommy grumbled, eyes narrowing in irritation. That was no lie. The male vocals, in my book, left a lot to be desired... some of them were just plain awful. I knew why she didn't let Tommy write them... He was practically an absentee around here lately. But still, he looked so cute pouting and whining like a two-year-old. That must be why he keeps whining. Makes sense, after all...

If I could do it and look cute all the time, I would.

I grinned, in a rare good mood. Truth be told, I was glad that we'd stopped recording. I believe when Tommy announced that we'd better get going, I flew at him and had to restrain myself from kissing his shoes in gratitude. Ha, and you only think I'm kidding. "Ooh, is Little Tommy Q. pissed that Georgia went over his head?" I said mockingly, smirking as he tensed at the hated nickname.

Tommy immediately stopped walking in the middle of the parking lot, turning around abruptly to face me. He looked so irritated, almost ready to burst. So angry, Tommy... So angry. Hmm, he ought to take anger management classes... No, wait, he did, didn't he? After he beat Lance Bass up the second time? Right? Or was that Bruno? Hmm.

"Don't call me that! Those were the worst male vocals ever. I mean, I'm getting old? Come on. I wrote better stuff when I was thirteen... for Boyz Attack!" Tommy ranted irritably, making a few angry hand gestures. I giggled at the outraged look on his face. Well, Tommy, you are almost twenty-three. You're getting up there.

He has a point, though. I mean, Boyz Attack! was... yikes, but I'm getting old was just plain bad. No one actually says that, you know. People like to stay in denial about their age. Or lie. Especially celebrities.

"Well, it's true, isn't it? You are getting old," I stated, bemused. Tommy, on the other hand was not. He shot me a brief glare, as if he didn't want to be reminded of the fact.

"Girls love older guys... It's not the same for women," Tommy pointed out, puffing his chest out a little to look... stronger? More manly? Uh... It only succeeded in making him look silly. I swear, all that fame went to his head and stayed there. Despite the fact that he's practically a has-been nowadays. Ouch, Jude, that was harsh. Well, it's not like he can hear me up here! Okay, true...

"Oh, yeah, Tom. Nowadays guys date girls young enough to be their daughters... You know, jailbait?" I retorted, feeling somewhat annoyed. Uh, oops. I winced at the look on Tommy's face. Damnit. Things were going so well, and I just had to ruin them. Of course. Why should it be any different? I should not have brought that up. Bad Jude.

Though... He did start it with the girls loving older men thing. There's sort of an obvious innuendo there about me. The sad thing is that he's completely right. But I can't let him know that... And I'm certainly not thinking about it! Doing that would ruin everything. My breath caught nervously in my throat as I waited for him to say something... anything.

"Don't you have some ridiculous costume to cram yourself into? You know, two sizes too small, some hideously tacky color, leaves nothing to the imagination..." Tommy questioned, smirking and giving me an appraising look. Nothing special here. My typical uniform, pretty much. Red t-shirt, ripped jeans, combat boots, leather jacket. Simple stuff. Now Tommy was the amused one. I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding and forced myself to relax a little. He was probably right about that too, the smug bastard. I didn't want to wear spandex or... whatever. I would, of course, have to change for my performance.

My eyes narrowed, and I crossed my arms tightly over my chest, giving him a cool look. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?" I drawled, clearly making him uncomfortable. Tommy swallowed hard and looked away. Crap, I did it again! What am I, Britney Spears? I smirked, remembering the Boyz Attack! videos Sadie had once lived for. Man, the outfits they wore... "Like you're one to talk. The white suit and matching bandanna speak for themselves." I teased smugly.

Tommy's jaw dropped, and he advanced slowly upon me. I backed up a little, biting my lip and feeling nervous. They had worn skin-tight clothes back then... It was a wonder they weren't busting out of them. Except, of course, they were all so skinny. "I know you did not just bring up Boyz Attack!" Tommy gaped disbelievingly, but in a somewhat threatening tone. He was all up in my face. It was weird, though, because for a threat, he sure said it in a funny way... I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing at the intense look on his face.

I dropped my hands to my hips, giving him a challenging smirk. "Well, producer of mine, I did. What're you going to do about it?" I taunted, holding my hands out in a crafty way, body language screaming "Bring it on". I didn't move any closer, but Tommy looked a little amused.

Tommy made a tsking noise and moved closer still. He pretended to think it over for a minute, but the grin that was slowly spreading across his face betrayed him. "Make you sing fifty takes of Minor Liaison," He said matter-of-factly, knowing exactly which button to push. Nooo! Not fifty more takes. I mean, I know I was distracted before, but that's just ridiculous. Fifty takes of that is death unless I'm high on something.

"Again? But Toommy, I did at least a hundred already..." I groaned tiredly, bemoaning my tragic fate. I pouted, batting my eyelashes up him. Maybe the womanly wiles will work again here. Do, do you think?

They didn't, however, as I was no Sexy Sadie. In fact, they only made Tommy regard me as a lunatic, which was pretty close to the truth. I clasped my hands pleadingly, as if in prayer, staring straight into his eyes, imploring him to do as I wished.

Tommy didn't give in to these more sensitive desires... that is, if he had any. He straightened up a little, grinning wickedly at me as he shrugged noncommittally. "I'm sadistic like that," Tommy murmured cockily, leaning in a little more than he probably should have. Ugh! He is so damn confident... How is that even possible?

Maybe because he's not that little Boy-Next-Door. He's not Jamie, and he doesn't worship you. He's a man, and a very conceited one at that. Because, of course, of his fame, ability, wealth, way with women, and good looks. If anybody worships anybody here, it's you. You look up to Saint Tommy as your teacher, your mentor, your helper, your friend, your muse, your inspiration, your protector... I frowned, trying to think of a comeback, and then one hit me. "Oh, so you gonna make yourself sing all fifty takes too?" I asked, getting in his face just a little.

Tommy snorted, puffing himself up, and polishing his nails on his shirt. He looked completely full of himself, but in a good way... Er, is that even possible? If it was possible, it was sure Tommy. Tommy's trademark big head and even bigger ego. "Why? My voice is absolute perfection," Tommy exclaimed, exuding arrogance from every pore. I could tell he was joking though. It's good to make fun of yourself sometimes, isn't it?

"You are so full of it, Quincy," I mumbled disbelievingly, shaking my head in amusement. He had so much confidence. It was so hard to believe sometimes. I wish I could be that self-assured. I suppose it takes years to achieve that, I guess. Years of people telling you that you're the sun and the moon, the next biggest thing. So hot, so sweet, so alluring, so sexy, so dreamy, so amazing... All that praise gets to a person's head. I don't think I'll ever be like that, though. No, not me.

Tommy smiled warmly and lightly poked me in the side. "But you love me for it," He declared brightly, wrapping an arm over my shoulders so that I was practically in a headlock. You're right about that, Quincy. I do love you, despite your overconfidence. Some ego you've got there. He pressed a light kiss to the top of my head and I almost melted into a puddle right there in the street, as he gave my shoulders a reassuring squeeze.

I pretended to groan as if I had been inconvenienced, but I was really recording and remembering the moment. After I had forever engraved it into my mind, I ruffled his hair a little, blowing the fluffier strands around. Funny, his hair's never this loose. Tommy made a noise of protest, but loosened his grip around my shoulders slightly. I sighed, leaning against him, pretending not to notice when he sucked in a breath. "Oh, shut it, Tommy," I pouted, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. Tommy reddened slightly.

But then a sneaky look passed across his face and he attacked my midsection with his fingers, tickling me. I attempted to hit him, but wound up missing, laughing hysterically. His hands were very skilled... I could easily see why all the other girls fawn over him. Then I tried to run away, but wherever I ran, he followed with a vengeance. "Stop it!" I gasped out, giggling hysterically.

Tommy gave me a devil-may-care glance. "Revenge," He muttered, shrugging, before he continued to chase me. He grabbed me around the waist and continued his onslaught. I stumbled, clutching him for what little support I could get, while still backing away.

Hurricane Tommy strikes again.

Before I knew it, I fell, landing on my ass in the grass. How we had managed to wander off to a place in Toronto that had grass, I will never know. I reached out for something to catch my fall or to use as a lever or balance and wound up grabbing Tommy's hands and pulling him down with me. He landed on top of me rather unpleasantly... Not unpleasantly because I didn't like it, of course! Unpleasant because it sort of hurt a little.

His face was only inches above mine, and our eyes were locked with an electric connection. I felt like there were magnets impelling him closer... You know, like the ones in those Lion King stuffed animals I had when I was little that made their noses touch? Except this time the magnet was set a little lower than the nose. We were so close when suddenly, Tommy pushed himself up a little. He wasn't flat against me anymore, but somehow he was straddling my hips, and, surprisingly enough, he hadn't noticed yet. How many times I've dreamed of Tommy doing something like this...

A slow smirk spread across his face as he pushed my shirt up a little. My breath hitched. Just what, exactly, was Tommy doing? It sort of reminded me of the whole Quinn fiasco, except I was vertical then and terrified. I did not just make that comparison... Ew. I could never be afraid of Tommy. And I liike Tommy.

His magic fingers danced across my bare skin... just the stomach, nothing perverted (yet!)... Hey, a girl can dream, can't she? ...And then he was tickling me with even more force. I laughed raucously, struggling to get out words and to just... breathe!

But it was hard, as he was pinning me to the ground. I kicked my legs, trying to thrash about as wildly as possible to free myself. Then I realized the oh-so-obvious fact that both of my hands remained free, and I reached up to tickle him. I had barely touched him when his darkened eyes widened a little, and he used one hand to hold my hands over my head, still attacking me with the other. I had to stop laughing. I could barely breathe.

"Tommy... Stop! Please, Tommy, I'm... Begging... Stop!" I managed to gasp out breathlessly.

Tommy's smile only widened further as he continued to tickle me. "This is your punishment," Tommy growled sadistically, but in a cute way. I glared at him, but closed my eyes, feeling the tears coming. It was the first time all day that they weren't tears of sadness. I was beginning to think there was no end in sight when I saw a shadow descend over Tommy and me. It was a man who looked angry, but I'd never seen him before in my life. My hero! Or, at least, that was what I'd thought... He wasn't really the hero type.

He frowned when he saw me. Tommy had stopped tickling me in surprise, but his hand was resting surprisingly high on my stomach, and he was pinning me to the ground and holding up my hands. Oh, and I was underage, breathless, crying, and telling him to stop. I guess I was a bit louder than I intended to be. Which meant that that guy thought...

Oh, how can he think that? Tommy would never... He wouldn't have to... You know?

"I never thought Little Tommy Q. was a rapist," The man muttered disapprovingly. You should've seen the look on Tommy's face. It was scary, sorta intense.

First he blushed a little, clearly embarrassed. Embarrassed of the way it looked. Embarrassed for getting caught. Embarrassed for me.

He bit his lip nervously and removed his hand from my stomach and relaxed and then released his grip on my hands. Nervous about what this meant. Nervous he was losing it. Nervous about the consequences. A bead of cold sweat ran down his temple.

Then his face turned cherry red from anger, and his eyes were burning and glaring through the man, silently ripping him to shreds. Angry for interrupting a good moment. Angry at being called a rapist. Angry at himself for being so damn weak. Angry at me for provoking him. Angry for being called Little Tommy Q.

A shadow of regret appeared in his eyes, but he quickly brushed it off. He felt guilty too, but he brushed that off even quicker. I felt the shame pulsating through him.

I took the opportunity to wipe at my eyes, trying to figure out how to fix this. This guy had no idea of who I was. He held out a hand for me to grab, so he could take me away from Tommy, something I did not want. I mean, you're crazy if you think I'm gonna choose you, a stranger, over Tommy Quincy, the love of my life. Whoa, why did I just say that? I'm supposed to be getting over him!

After all, that guy trying to "save" me could be some weird stalker rapist himself! I know Tommy, and he's many things... A heartbreaker, notorious playboy, manwhore, music producer, singer, boybander, great kisser, brother, boyfriend, son, lover, fighter, worker, procrastinator... But he's not a rapist (despite why he might think). So, thinking quickly, I rolled my eyes, plastering on an annoyed look. Really, I was flattered, but he had things all wrong here. Tommy wasn't like that.

"I don't know what you think is going on here..." I began. That was a complete lie. I knew exactly what he thought was going on here. Tommy did too. And, obviously, neither of us liked it. "But could you leave me and my boyfriend alone?" I asked, trying to sound as snotty as I could.

The man was not convinced. Especially as Tommy blanched when I called him boyfriend. Jeez, Tom, you have got to get used to the B word. Especially since you're Sadie's boyfriend now. Don't even try and tell me that you're not, okay, because I know you are. My would-be-rescuer rolled his eyes. "He's not your boyfriend. He was attacking you," The guy pointed out, too sober for his own good.

I like to think that I know when a guy's attacking me. Though he was sorta right... in a way. But it's Tommy, so I didn't really mind except for the fact that I couldn't breathe. I rolled my eyes again, pulling Tommy against me so fast he barely knew what hit him. "Yeah, with kisses," I retorted, trying to sound as ditzy as I could... but I came out sounding slutty, and the guy still didn't believe me. How is that possible, seriously?

It's because Tommy blanched again. Can he not see what I'm trying to do here? No, I bet he's just to freaked about the threat lurking behind my words. He doesn't want to kiss me. That's sort of offensive, but I get it. I'm not stupid. He's afraid of himself around me.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. I leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss against his lips, pulling back before he'd even registered what had happened... kind of like our first kiss... the one that shall remain nameless. A.K.A. Fiasco City. Then I flashed what I hoped was a convincing smile, staring openly and adoringly at my "boyfriend". "I just love Tommy so much," I blurted without thinking, wrapping my arms around his neck.

OH CRAP! I did not just say that. Tommy isn't supposed to know that I'm in love with him! It'll be weird and awkward, though it already is... No, Jude, relax. He'll just think that you said it to get that guy off your back. You'll be fine. Uh, I hope? Cross my fingers... Tommy's face was expressionless, but suddenly he thought of something and grinned adoringly at me. "I love you too, girl," He said soothingly. My heart skipped a beat. I was surprised when he planted a big one on me, and I'm sure if I was standing I would've collapsed. It wasn't that passionate, I guess, more of a sweet, sort of innocent thing. So unlike Tommy. I giggled, pulling back.

"Tommy, stop!" I cried out playfully, still giggling, hoping the guy would get the right idea and leave us the hell alone... to our own devices. Though I'm always up for making out with Tommy. A second after these words flew out of my lips, I attacked Tommy, reversing our positions. Now I was the one straddling Tommy. I was more insistent and passionate, hoping to show the guy, if he was still watching, just who the aggressor was here. But when I glanced up during a breath of air, he was gone, which meant I had to stop kissing Tommy. Damn it! Life's just not fair!

For a moment there, it was like he had actually, really meant it. I actually believed it there for a second. Stupid, stupid me. Tommy's a great actor, isn't he? Too good sometimes. But I had my own ways of enacting revenge. I pressed down hard against his hips, making Tommy groan. "Jude, don't do this..." He moaned, screwing his eyes closed, sounding as if he was in pain.

I rolled my eyes. "Relax, Quincy. I'm not looking to turn you on here... I'm not a tease," I told him seriously. I think I was doing that anyways, though, and Tommy knew it. He was trying to keep it all together. You get an A for Effort, Tommy.

"Well, it's not working. I'm a healthy male..." Tommy hissed, struggling to break free. I refused to move, staring down at him stonily. I cocked an eyebrow. Tommy, Tommy, Tommy... When will you ever learn? I snorted as he said healthy male. Jeez, Tommy, you sound like an after-school special. So defensive.

"With an unhealthy libido," I interrupted, unable to fight the smirk that was spreading across my face. Tommy made a face at me, still wiggling. All that wiggling won't help you any. I'm not moving. He tried to push me off, but I was like a statue. An incredibly amused statue that was shaking from laughter.

"And you're really not helping." Tommy retorted, exerting a bit more force to get me off of him. I didn't budge. He's crazy if he thinks I'll get off of him without getting revenge. Oh, and it will be sweet. Sweet.

I rolled my eyes at him. Tommy and his whining. Boy, it's not going to get you anywhere. "Oh, quit squirming already," I snapped bossily, pinning him to the ground at the shoulders with both of my hands. Tommy tried to escape, but I leaned my weight against his chest, keeping him stuck there. It was nice to have the power in this relationship... for once. Finally, realizing he was getting nowhere fast, he stopped trying and fell back, sighing. We were so close I felt his breath on my face.

Dangerous things happen when I'm this close to Tommy. And, mind you, that's when I'm not straddling him. But it's not like I'm wearing lingerie or anything... I'll be fine. I won't do anything... Just tickle him a little. Is that a crime?

It is if he's your sister's boyfriend.

Hey, I knew him first!

But she knows him better, doesn't she?

I don't like the way you said that, Jude. I know what knows means. You're trying to insinuate that... you know! Just because I haven't screwed the guy doesn't mean that I don't know him better than she does. Remember, he was practically stripping down in front of me yesterday?

Yesterday seems so far away... So much has happened lately, hasn't it? It's been a whirlwind of emotions, but life's been like that ever since I won Instant Star. That was the catalyst... or was that me kissing Tommy for the first time? I don't know. Maybe I would know that if I didn't flunk Chemistry last year. Hey, it's not my fault I don't get math!

And it's kinda hard to do dimensional analysis if you don't get algebra. It's okay though. I'm a musician and a songwriter. I don't have to understand math. I just have to write songs and perform, which rocks! Getting paid to be famous and do what I love? Killer.

But it doesn't take a math whiz to know my chances of Tommy. I can tell you, even without all that probability crap... pretty much nil. Zip. Nada. Nothing... Okay, so it's slightly bigger than that. 1.5 percent tops. Anyways, that's not the point because I'm not doing anything bad. Yet, Jude... I'm talking to myself about Tommy Two-Time. I have serious issues.

Tommy was still a bit confused, but I cleared things up by mercilessly jumping right in and tickling him. He tried to move from side to side, biting his lip to try and hold back the laughter. I grinned. "Aww, is Little Tommy Q. ticklish?" I asked, talking to him as if he was a baby. Tommy grimaced, muttering under his breath, glaring at me.

"You... are... so dead... So dead..." Tommy hissed as menacingly as he could while trying not to laugh. He was breathless, red in the face, and failing miserably. So he just came out sounding winded and hoarse. I laughed too and leaned in a little bit closer. My hands stopped moving and I just stared. Tommy's eyes opened, a little wet, and he stared back. Both of us had long since stopped laughing, and once again, I felt the same magnetic force pulling me to him. My eyes were about to close. Tommy licked his lips... not innocently.

Then, from behind me, I heard a sharp, disapproving voice. It reminded me of Tommy's mother, which was an immediate mood killer. The voice ran down both of us like ice water. "You two are in public, you know... It's despicable. Little kids come here," The soccer mom snapped, clucking her tongue. Tommy's eyes, which were lazily half-lidded, became as wide as saucers. I moved up and away from his face, so that I was just sitting on him.

Tommy pushed himself up on his elbows a little, leaning on one forearm so that he could gesture to me with the other. He shot me a disdainful look before gazing back at the lady. What, like this is all my fault? You're the one who tackled me in the first place! "She is a little kid," Tommy exclaimed, annoyed. Well, gee, thanks for reminding me of that, Tom! Very kind of you.

"And you're a dirty old man!" I proclaimed, feeling testy as I jabbed him in the chest. I glared at him viciously, but stopped once I saw the genuinely wounded look on his face. He was remembering his supposed guilt again. A sad look crossed his face, and he tried to convey apology on his face as he attempted to move away from me, which was sort of impossible. Great, now I felt guilty. Just great. I sighed and rolled off of him, landing flat on my back in the grass next to him.

Our legs were still overlapping. I sighed again, looking over at Tommy dreamily. I exhaled deeply, closing my eyes for a minute, and moved my head on top of his stomach. I sighed contentedly, turning my head so my cheek rested against his warm shirt. Mmm, he smells nice...

Was it really so wrong that I just wanted to stay here for the rest of my life? I mean, was that so bad? I had the strong desire to just fall asleep there against his chest, breathing in his smell. I could hear his heartbeat, steady and constant... Something Tommy was not. I sighed again, and my eyes fluttered open. "But that's okay, I love you anyways..." I murmured, snuggling closer to him.

"Oh, corrupting a minor, are we?" She muttered disapprovingly. I could feel Tommy wince against my head and rolled my eyes. Not that again. Must everyone remind me that I'm not eighteen yet? For crying out loud, that's like, what, a year and a few months away? Honestly! Tommy sat up immediately, and my head wound up in his lap, which made Tommy more than a little bit uncomfortable.

"No," Tommy blurted, worried about what this lady would think about him. He's always been so worried about what people will think. I think it must be ingrained into him or something. I mean, growing up around Darius and Victoria must've screwed him up good. They'd screw any kid up, come to think of it. And, crap, I'm working with both of them.

I thought it over for a second and sat up too, wrapping my arms around him and resting my head on his shoulder adoringly. I smiled at the woman and kissed him on the cheek, unable to stop grinning. "Actually, this was my idea," I said, giggling stupidly. I rubbed my cheek against his, smiling wickedly at what was to come. "He wanted to do it in the road, but I didn't want to get run over," I replied nonchalantly, as if I was talking about the weather. I got the idea from that one Beatles song... It's sort of repetitive, but it sure gets the point across.

And it made the woman storm off without another word, looking totally outraged. Plus, the look on Tommy's face was absolutely priceless. His eyes went even wider than before, his jaw hung wide open, his eyebrows flew up... He looked completely silly. I looked at him and started laughing hysterically. Tommy's jaw closed and then tightened. He glanced down at his watch and rocketed up. "Jude, we're late for your soundcheck!" Tommy grunted, pulling me up with him and hurrying out of the park.

It took me five minutes of silence to realize that we were not headed in the direction of G. Major.

"Where are we going?" I questioned, feeling incredibly confused. Tommy shot me a somewhat nervous look and quickened his pace. I had no choice but to follow him, practically running.

"My place... If we go back to G. Major now Georgia will have both of our heads... Besides, it's not far, and we can take the Hummer," Tommy stated briskly. I tried to nod, but he was yanking on my hand so hard I had to run to catch up. He was right, though, about it being close. Before I knew it, he was dragging me down into the parking garage.

Then I got in the car, and somehow, we wound up at the studio where they filmed Under the Mike fifteen minutes later. Which is ridiculous, as I happen to know that it's forty minutes away from where Tommy lives. It's forty-five to fifty away from G. Major, and Tommy lives close to the studio, obviously. I also happen to know that Hummers get crappy gas mileage. But I suppose Tommy can do anything when he speeds, can't he?

I was guided through the back door, and suddenly, I couldn't see Tommy backstage anymore. I saw Georgia, leaning against the wall, frowning. Darius was, oddly enough, right next to her, shoulder-to-shoulder. I praised all that is holy that Shay wasn't here. E.J. looked a bit flustered, and her eyes narrowed when she saw me. Immediately she walked up to me, bossy as can be, and grabbed me. Her manicured nails dug into my arm. "Honestly, where have you been! You missed your soundcheck! You better pray that your guitar's in tune and that your voice isn't hoarse!" E.J. snarled, pacing like a caged tiger, intermittently stopping to throw a glare my way.

I rolled my eyes, sighing. "Why would it be? I've only being singing and playing all day... In school, in my car, in the studio, recording..." I cleared my throat with some difficulty. Sure, my throat was a little hoarse, but I'd make do... And drink plenty of water. Then I'll be good. Georgia finally noticed me... At first she looked angry, but then I saw her eyes lit up and she flew over to me.

"Oh, Jude, honey, we were so worried about you! You were there one second and then you weren't... And Kwest didn't know where you were, and Tom disappeared and didn't take his cell with him... It was awful. I thought you'd been abducted or something!" Georgia shouted, hugging me so tight she almost crushed my ribs. Wow, she must really be attached to the money I'm bringing in... Nah, I know what she means. It's really sweet... I feel like I have two moms or something. Hmm, do you think she called my parents?

I frowned, backing away from Georgia a little until she finally broke the hug. "Oh, I'm so sorry... I was going to drive there, but I got... distracted. I was with Tommy the whole time..." I apologized, feeling guilty on a whole new level... Not just about Sadie this time. I felt bad for making Georgia worried.

Darius scowled, giving Georgia a look. "Which explains how you were distracted," Darius mumbled pointedly. I winced, but attempted to brush it off. Georgia ignored Darius and once again turned to me.

"Never do that again, okay, Jude? I mean, not with Tommy... No, wait, that's not what I mean... I'm sorry, I'm just all mixed up here. It's just, we were worried and no one knew where you were... I kept thinking about what I'd have to tell your parents..." Georgia rambled, sounding confused, tired, sad, and nervous all at once. In short, she sounded like she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Okay, so I call or leave a note next time, got it. I guess that answers my question though... The one about my parents? She didn't tell them, which is good because I'm not supposed to see Tommy. Period.

I nodded dutifully, and then Georgia smiled a little, leaning in conspiratorially. "Even Darius was worried... though he'd never admit it," She whispered, sounding happy about that. Aww, Darius cares about others... Whoa, he must really, really like Georgia. Really.

I smiled at Darius. "Aww," I drawled, rolling the W around on my tongue for a while, amused. Darius was clearly embarrassed and annoyed. This meant "G., you weren't supposed to tell her that" in Darius' language.

E.J. was not phased by any of this. She simply sighed, rolling her eyes, and nearly threw me into the dressing room, screaming at me to make myself presentable. Gee, thanks, E.J. Thanks a lot. I groaned, looking through the various choices. E.J. screeched bossily at me through the door, "Jude, hurry up and get dressed! Your ass needs to be on stage in ten minutes!"

I sighed, glancing at the clock. Okay then, guess I have to be fast. I glanced nervously at the outfits, immediately ruling out the ones which made me feel uncomfortable, which happened to be all of them. Finally, I sighed and picked the least trampy/uncomfortable looking one. That being said, it was a tight, hot pink and black bustier-corset thing (a bit too low for my taste), a black leather miniskirt, and knee-high black leather boots that I liked. I practically tore off my clothes in my haste. E.J. had yelled again, this time claiming five minutes left. I had to hustle.

First, I zipped up my skirt, which was a lot tighter than I would've liked it to be. Next came my boots. I had picked up my top and was about to put it on when suddenly, the door opened. I dropped my top in surprise. Stupid, stupid me. What am I, on drugs? How could I forget to lock the door? Anyone could've come in... Literally, anyone. Like Darius, or some creepy freak who wants to... Stupid me! Why am I so stupid? Why?

Naturally it was Tommy. If I thought the look on his face was weird before... He was gaping at me, eyes focused on my chest. I don't really get why. He acts like he's never seen me in a bra before. Well, newsflash, Tom, you have. In fact, we've supposedly slept together, remember, so you've "seen" me in a lot less... But you don't remember that, so you are surprised. I just... I really wish he would stop staring at me like that. He shouldn't be staring at me like that... He's with my sister! God! What is wrong with him! I'm single, and you're not, Tommy, so back off!

It took him a minute to collect himself. He gulped down hard over the lump in his throat, and tried to speak. Key word being tried. It came out shaky, making little to no sense. I was barely able to hear/understand what he said... But I knew Tommy, so I got the gist of it... I knew what he was going to say. "I-I... I just... Uh, I want... I w-wanted to, uh, um... wish... wish you luck on... y-your performance," He stuttered, being distracted. He was distracted because he kept staring at my chest, of course. It was sort of flattering, but again, this is the man who's dating my sister. And he's wicked old and an ex-boybander and a sex fiend and I'm sixteen and it's illegal and he's sooo unbelievably, undeniably out-of-my-league.

I didn't say anything at first, but the staring was really getting on my nerves. Do I look like a piece of meat to you? Well, I'm not! I never wanted to be a sex symbol. "Oh, come on, like you haven't seen me in a bra before..." I retorted, rolling my eyes at his stupidity. This seemed to snap Tommy out of his me-induced stupor, but not for long. There was a slightly glazed look in his eyes, but he didn't move... fortunately for me. If he had moved, even a single inch, towards me... I would have completely lost it and done something stupid... Like kiss him again, at the very least.

This time E.J. ruined the moment, appearing behind Tommy. You had to admire E.J. sometimes. She was so stressed that none of this crap with Tommy and me seemed to affect her. Her eyes narrowed. I almost thought she hadn't noticed, but then she spoke, erasing any of my doubts. "Jude, put your shirt on. You're on in 2," She practically growled, looking absolutely venomous. I was worried that she was going to pull an Exorcist on me, spinning head, glowing eyes and all. E.J. was literally two steps away from doing just that, I could tell. Then she turned around abruptly, jet black hair swishing behind her. I almost thought she hadn't noticed Tommy's weirdness, but she surprised me once again. "Oh, and Tommy, get it together. You're staring at her like you've never seen a pair of breasts in your life," She snapped icily.

She didn't even stop walking, clipboard in hand. Her heels continued to click across the wood until she was gone from sight, presumably rushing off to do something else. She didn't even close the door. Shrew. Her words, however, did Tommy a world of good. He promptly picked his jaw up off the floor and averted his eyes nervously, leaning heavily against the doorframe as he had done months earlier... after "Skin". This time he wasn't full of himself, or apologetic... No, I take that back... He was apologetic, but this time he was embarrassed. Big time.

When he didn't say anything, I rolled my eyes and decided to finish getting ready. I pulled on the shirt, ignoring him and pretending as if he wasn't there. Wow, that was fun. At least he's not staring at me. That's a relief, to say the least... I rushed to drag the red (Smoldering Passion... Yeah, I know, the irony kills me too) lipstick across my lips, not even bothering to glance at my hair. I grabbed my jacket, throwing it on in a hurry and hustling out the door. When I walked through that doorway, Tommy wasn't there. I swear, I have never worn this much leather in my life. Oh well, too late to do anything about that.

Following the sounds of the cheering crowd, I rushed onstage just as they were announcing my name. "Jude Harrison, everybody!" I remembered that Shay had said those same words when he serenaded me with another rapper's lines. Ugh. And look how badly that had turned out. I bit my lip and forced a smile, greeting the host, whose name I could not, for the life of me, remember. Oh well... Whatever. I can roll with the punches. I'll fake it.

"Hey..." I muttered, fighting the OVERWHELMING urge to frown. It was weird, but I didn't feel like performing or being interviewed... for the first time in my life. But today had been rough, hadn't it? Yes, if you call crying on what, at least four separate occasions rough. I was just worn out by this point. Somehow the guy saw my fatigue and smirked. What, did he think I'm tired because I've been screwing Tommy all night? Screwing and Tommy do not go in the same sentence, Jude. Bad, baad, baaaad Jude.

"So, Jude, you just wrapped up a successful world tour with your ex, your debut album's on the verge of going platinum, and you've started work on your sophomore album with some rockin' new singles... How do you feel?" The guy with dreads asked me in a way too chipper tone. I think he expected me to be overjoyed or on top of the world or something... Well, too bad, man, I'm heartbroken... but that's buried in the mess of this afternoon. Hopefully to be very, very, very soon forgotten, if I have anything to say about it.

I tried my best to give him what he wanted. A chipper, cheerful Jude Harrison. Except everybody knows I'm neither. I settled for a humble-looking, rather nonchalant shrug as I leaned over to the microphone he held. "I still feel the same inside even though so much in my life has changed... At the end of the day I'm still Jude Harrison, you know?" I replied simply, frowning at how melancholy I sounded. It was true, but still... I paused and continued, happier this time. "My first tour rocked! I have you guys to thank for that... If you didn't buy the tickets to my concerts or my CDs, I wouldn't be doing a second album, or, for that matter, a second tour... So thanks!" I said sincerely into the microphone, casting a dreamy gaze out into the audience.

That's when I saw it, and I finally faced the music. Tommy and Sadie, sitting next to each other, smiling and holding hands... He didn't even care about her nose. I realized then that getting over Tommy was going to be a lot harder than I thought. I saw them sitting there, so happy, and I felt cold and guilty for every childish thing I'd done. I smiled tightly at the host, glancing away from my sister and my... and her boybander boyfriend, my eyes a little misty.

"So... On tour with the Big Shay? How'd that go? Did you two hook up? Are you two back on?" He questioned eagerly. I grimaced inside, scowling by now. Gee, could you be any more desperate to know? I don't think so. I rolled my eyes, grabbing the microphone from him with more force than was necessary.

"It was fine for the most part... No, we did not hook up, and no, we are not back on. Especially as he was making out with Eden at our last stop. He made a pass at me, I said no, he wouldn't stop, and so I punched him and threw him out of the room... End of story," I stated firmly, feeling my eyebrows bunch up, and my brow furrow. Then I handed him the mike with a bit too much gusto... So what, I nearly chucked it at him? I was irritated, and he wasn't helping.

Our host cleared his throat nervously, shooting the audience a panicked glance, and looking a little bit nervous. But, then, of course, he got another brilliant idea and had soon forgotten his fear. "So... You and Little Tommy Q. ...What's up with that? Or was that just some little tour fling you two had goin' on there?" He asked, clearly amused. I didn't even have to look at Tommy to know that he was flinching and furiously apologizing to Sadie... Which made me mad and sad at the same time... Tommy tends to do that.

I groaned aloud, and Dreads smirked at me. I wanted to punch the smirk right off his face. I hated him and his innuendos. I sighed again and grabbed the microphone. "I am getting so much crap over that," I muttered, and the audience laughed. I deliberately avoided Tommy's eyes, but I could tell he was seeking me out. "No, really... I hate having to explain this to people, and I've been explaining myself since, well, Montreal... But, to finally set the record straight, there is nothing romantic going on there. Tom's my teacher, my mentor, and my friend... and there's a line there that you just don't cross," I explained honestly, trying to look everywhere but at Tommy. No, not quite honestly. I was lying about the nothing romantic... But everything else was true.

Dreads (I still cannot remember his name) gave me a skeptical look as he grabbed the mike. In fact, he snorted, clearly not buying it for a second. The audience didn't hear him snort... At least they believed me. Hell, I don't even believe me at this point. I leaned back in towards the microphone, somehow grinning. "Besides, he's got a girlfriend," I whispered, winking out at the audience. You know, I seriously hope that they don't think I'm that girlfriend, 'cause I just realized how that sounded...

Dreads looked interestedly at me, nodding. A slow smirk spread across his face. Well, there's no doubt as to what he believes, now is there? "And you know this girlfriend?" I hated that stupid knowing tone of his, like he didn't believe me and wasn't trusting... I could understand that, but it bugged me. I nodded, seeking out Sadie in the audience. Our eyes locked.

"You could say that... She's like a sister to me, really," I responded vaguely, plastering on the obligatory fake smile. Like? She was a sister to me. Not that she acted like it even half the time. Dreads and the audience both looked a little surprised at the revelation, not that I could blame them. I mean, honestly, what girlfriend would be okay with me being friends and working close with their boyfriend who I've kissed how many times, again? Especially not Sadie. I wondered vaguely just how long she would wait before actually telling him to stay the hell away from me... I give her a week.

I snapped out of my reverie and there was Sadie. She gave me this stupid, annoyingly smug look. And then she practically jumped on Tommy. Ah, watch the slut mark her territory. I'm not even kidding, though, that's what's sad. She was on his lap in a flash and kissing him like there was no tomorrow. Even more sickening, he was groping her enthusiastically. Like he hadn't been doing the same thing to me this morning. He makes me sick.

It was like a car crash, and I just couldn't tear my eyes away. Dreads cleared his throat and I snapped back to reality. But I didn't take my eyes off Tommy Two-Time and Sexy Sadie. I couldn't. Fortunately, so I didn't look like such an idiot, Dreads asked me a question. "So, Jude, what's next for you? Can you give us the scoop?" He inquired, sounding curious. I tore my eyes away from Tommy and Sadie long enough to smile gratefully at Dreads.

"I'm doing a few shoots for two fashion lines and a cosmetics line... And we're going to start production on my next music video. Not to mention recording the rest of my album. Other than that... I don't know," I answered, shrugging, into the microphone. Somehow, my eyes found their way back to Tom and Sadie who

going at it like rabbits. I was surprised that they hadn't been kicked out. No one had even yelled at them to get a room, and they were sitting in practically the front row. I was tempted to tell them that, but telling my sister to go get a room so she can go have sex with the guy I'm in love with is just plain stupid. Though I felt like throwing up after looking at them.

Dreads asked me another question, one I barely registered. It took me a good minute to realize what he'd asked, and I was a bit surprised. "Are you dating anyone, Jude?" He asked, giving me a look that I did not like in the slightest. I hate this outfit. Dreads is so leering at me. And if Tommy's six years older than me, this guy's like... twice that. He's got to be at least twenty-eight. I grimaced and pulled my jacket over my chest, obscuring my practically nonexistent shirt. I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling suddenly cold.

What was I supposed to say to that? I had no clue, and it really wasn't something I'd expected to hear. I almost floundered, but then something came to me. A smirk spread slowly across my face. "Well, that depends on which tabloid you're asking... Star thinks I'm dating all of Boyz Attack!. Celebrity Today says I'm back with Shay. The Inquirer thinks I'm with Chaz. Oh, and, as usual, Talk National thinks I'm screwing Tommy Q.," I replied truthfully. And, even though it was, tragically enough, true, the audience laughed. I couldn't help but laugh with them. Obviously, I was never going to date any of them. I smiled, thinking of Tim. "But, in reality... I'm single. There is this one guy I'm dating, but I don't want to jinx it..." I murmured dreamily, thinking of Tim. It was definitely too soon to call him a boyfriend... Sadie made that mistake. But, hey, a girl can hope, right?

Dreads smiled at me benevolently. Well, at least he isn't checking me out. Progress, Jude, that's progress. Then he turned out to the audience. I knew I was going to sing in a few seconds. I felt a little nervous and wondered vaguely which song I should sing. I felt almost as nervous as I had at Instant Star, and that freaked me out. "Now Jude's going to sing her new single for us... Which I don't know the name of. So, without further ado..." He nearly shouted into the mike in that booming voice of his. I could feel my eyes widen and before I knew it, a guitar was thrust into my arms, Dread was walking backstage, and Speed and the guys were already set up behind me. I gulped, glancing back at them for help, but they could only shrug and offer none, looking at me expectantly. Great, just great. Some back-up band I've got here.

Speed was on my right, Wally on my left, and Kyle directly behind me. I inhaled deeply and then sighed wearily, gazing out at the crowd and not knowing what to do. It seemed like an eternity that I stood there, speechless, staring out at them blankly, but it was only a few seconds. Then, finally, last of all, my eyes returned to Tommy and Sadie. One of his hands was crawling up her shirt; the other buried in her skirt... but that didn't surprise me. No, what surprised me, what really made the rancor rise in my throat was Sadie.

Sexy Sadie... You broke the rules. You laid it down for all to see. Sexy Sadie, you broke the rules.

She came along to turn on everyone... Sexy Sadie, the greatest of them all.

Sexy Sadie, she's the latest and the greatest of them all.

Isn't she, Tom? Isn't that what you think? The latest and greatest Tommy Q. Babe. I know how you think, and it disgusts me. The latest and greatest lay, right? Yeah, that's what I thought. I know what you were doing in Italy. Her.

She made a fool of everyone. Especially me. Why did I ever think I have a chance with him? She's every man's fantasy, and I'm just a kid. A stupid, stupid girl. Just like the song I did a cover of.

It wasn't that, though. That stuff's all old news, and I don't care about any of it... The whole load of it. Okay, so that's a lie. I do still care, but it's none of my business really...Only... Why did they break up in Italy? No, Jude, we're not doing this... I do care, but it doesn't matter. Not as much as right now does.

It wasn't what Tommy was doing that bothered me. I expected that. I didn't expect them to be making out in the seats while I was doing my interview, but I expected his behavior... to some degree. I just... I don't like what Sadie's doing. I know she's not near as slutty as she's acting right now. Okay, so she went out on a lot of dates and had a lot of boyfriends, but she wasn't screwing every guy in town, you know? I'm feeling bad about her... Isn't that sad? Bet she doesn't feel bad for me. Oh well.

In case you're wondering... She was starting to undo his jeans... in public, when she knew I could see her... When she knew that I would know exactly what she was doing. And the funny thing is... No one cared about it at all... No one except me. She knew, and she didn't care. And I thought Tommy was the shameless one...

But here's the thing, Sexy Sadie... However big you think you are...

Sexy Sadie, you'll get yours yet...

And I was about to give it to her. Yes, I knew exactly which song I was going to sing. So I smirked, looking like a rockstar for all I was worth, and walked closer to the microphone, slipping the guitar strap over my shoulders. "This isn't my new single, but I think you'll like it anyways. I sure do," I drawled huskily, not caring how I sounded. After all, I was making fun of Sadie.

Who knows, this might just be the wake-up call she needs.

I turned to Speed and the guys, moving back and away from the microphone. "I'm not gonna play much guitar on this one, but I'll start it out... Just go with it. Oh, and also go with any movements I might do onstage, okay?" I whispered, nervously looking between them. I used some gestures we'd come up with on tour to indicate to Wally and Kyle chords, volume, and timing... I know, some gestures, right? Really, it's a lot simpler than it sounds.

I grinned, clutching my pick, and plugged the amp into my guitar. A moment later, I started playing (my guitar was miraculously in tune), returning to my position in front of the mike. I figured I'd play the first verse and the chorus and then move around. The tune was electric and infectious. I narrowed my eyes, deciding to channel Sadie, and let my jacket fall open while I was playing. There was no question that I'd be throwing it off as soon as possible.

"When Sadie struts downtown, they all know her name... 'Cause they're used to Sexy Sadie and her little sex games. They're the ones who've taken to giving her that pet name..." I sang, pretending to strut and swaying my hips in a suggestive manner. The guys stared at me, surprised. What, did they forget I was a girl again? That's what happens when you tour with boys.

"Sexy Sadie, Sexy Sadie, the slutty lady down the block!" I yelled, trying to sound like a little kid. The guys grinned, recognizing me. They chimed in with similar echoes. I was so lucky to have them as a back-up band. Really, they were the best. It was sure loud enough to snap Sadie out of Tommy.

I smirked, noticing that I had her full attention now. "Ooh, ooh, Sexy, sexy Sadie... You sure as hell ain't a lady! 'Cause you keep them all coming back for more... Sexy Sadie, Sexy Sadie, you're a whore!" I proclaimed loudly, and then the audience went wild. Sadie's jaw dropped. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish' mouth did, but nothing came out... Not that I could hear anything over the roar of the crowd and my guitar. I glanced to Speed, who nodded at me. I nodded back and placed my guitar in a nearby stand, grabbing the mike.

"When you've got him in your sight..." I fluttered my eyelashes at Speed, who fought back laughter. "You don't care if it's wrong or right..." I shook my head, grinning seductively and walking slowly towards the audience. "You take them all home at night..." I got down on my knees and lazily ran a hand through the crowd, looking as seductive as I could. I was nearly pulled in the audience, so I got up and backed up a bit towards S.M.E. "Even if you know you don't have the right..." I shook my head and locked eyes with Sadie. Shame, shame, Sades. I'm sorry it had to come down to this.

In retrospect, sure, it wasn't the most mature thing to do. It made me just as bad a sister as Sadie was to me. It sure wasn't the smartest thing to do... But it was what I needed to do.

I cast off my jacket, throwing it backstage... Hey, I like that jacket, I'm not going to throw it in the crowd! I could practically see the drool collecting on the men's lips as I pivoted my hips. "Ooh, ooh, Sexy, sexy Sadie... You sure as hell ain't a lady, 'cause you keep them all coming back for more... Sexy Sadie, Sexy Sadie, you're a whore!" I bellowed, shaking my hair and swinging my hips. It was really a good thing that I couldn't dance. I would look like such a slut now.

"Sexy Sadie, Sexy Sadie, baby, yeah!" I screamed, the guys following me. I shook my head back and forth, frowning disapprovingly. "You just don't, you just won't care... Sadie doesn't even care who she screws." I walked over and leaned on Wally's shoulder, wrapping my arm around him. Wally snickered and I frowned at him. Again, forgetting I'm a girl. I walked back to the drum set, lightly leaning against one of the drums, "She'll just do it with anyone anywhere..." I whispered into the microphone. I got up a minute later when an irritated Kyle hit the drum. Ouch! Jeez, what's up his ass?

I got rid of these thoughts and walked to the front, swaying my hips.

"Ooh, ooh, Sexy, sexy Sadie! You sure as hell ain't a lady... 'Cause you keep them all coming back for more. Sexy Sadie, Sexy Sadie, you're a whore!" I drawled, walking up and down the stage, shooting an occasional glance out into the audience. A few people screamed, and, as I shimmied onstage, one guy fainted. I couldn't believe that I had that kind of effect on someone. Hmm, so this is what it feels like to be my sister. Empowering!

I walked over to Kyle. He was wearing this stupid tie today. I walked behind the drum set, bending down and beginning to undo his tie. "You'll help loosen a business man's tie... and give him a little something on the side..." I put my hand on his cheek lightly, and Kyle rolled his eyes, making a big show out of pushing me towards Wally, my next stop. I grinned back at Kyle for a minute before continuing on to Wally.

"Take off a lawyer's nice dress shirt... and starch it in the morning too," I hummed, stressing morning. Wally, the group fashionista, was dressed oddly, per usual. Today he was wearing a mostly unbuttoned blue Oxford and some distressed, pinstriped black pants with flip-flops. I unbuttoned his shirt the rest of the way (he didn't miss a note! I was so proud) while I sang. Then I ran a hand up his chest, giving it a pat before he snorted and pushed me away.

Of course, all of them were smiling, so I knew that they were having a blast too. It felt fun to go out and perform and just goof off with the guys like old times. Speed was next. Boy, was this going to be fun. I smirked knowingly at him, and he nodded back at me. "You unzip a rockstar's torn blue jeans." You see, this is the part that sort of got me in trouble. Really, Speed just undid the top button, which is a lot better than Tommy, whose jeans were only staying on because he was sitting down. Sadie was still on top of him, but at least they weren't frenching.

I hadn't realized it up until now, but Tommy had been watching me all along with rapt attention. His jaw was clenched. He didn't look amused or happy. If it weren't for the lipstick smeared all over his face, you wouldn't be able to tell that he was in the middle of a make-out session before. Oh well, it's that damn Tommy Syndrome rearing its ugly head yet again. I expected that, right? It was half of the reason for my little act. Might as well make him feel a tenth of what I was feeling. I made a point to lock eyes with Tommy for a second to be sure he got the message before my gaze returned briefly to Sadie. She looked away, crossing her arms over her chest, embarrassed.

In case you're wondering... Speed was wearing torn blue jeans. He wasn't quite a rockstar yet, but, for that matter, neither was Tommy. He was a popstar in his prime, which is obviously long past. No, wait, that's a Shay thing to say... And I can tell his new album's going to be killer. Anyways, Speed pulled his jeans down a little, and I pushed his shirt up to expose his bellybutton. "So careful to avoid his belly-button ring." It's funny, because I never knew that Speed actually had a bellybutton ring. Trying my hardest to not burst out in hysterical laughter, I flicked his belly button ring with my finger, and Speed laughed. I plastered a fake surprised look on my face, my mouth forming a little o, as I clapped a hand to the side of my face. Then, laughing, I grinned and leaned over and licked his stomach.

Speed giggled. "Stop, Jude, that tickles!" He cried out. I let him squirm a few minutes longer and then pulled back and stopped, grinning victoriously.

The audience (minus probably my father, my mother, Sadie, and, of course, Tommy) laughed hysterically. In case you're wondering why I was slobbering all over Speed's stomach, it's because him and Shay made this stupid bet in New York. I can't remember what the rewards were, but I'm pretty sure Speed got a big, fat check from Shay. I don't know. Maybe if Shay won, Speed promised to give him my number. All I really know is what happened on the bus on our way to Toronto. Apparently the bet was to see who could do a body shot off of my stomach without me noticing.

It was a Tuesday and we were just out of our last concert in New York, and I was so exhausted I fell asleep on the couch that night. I had gotten approximately 4 hours of sleep during the whole week we spent in New York, so I was sleeping like a log. Anyways, Wally and Speed picked me up and carried me over to the kitchen table. I found all of this out from Kyle, because he has a girlfriend, and, thus, was not involved in this scheme. He was the one who also refused to let Shay carry me, so, basically, he kept the other guys in line.

I owe him a lot. He was the one who made sure Shay didn't pull up my shirt and grab at my chest. I am thus eternally in his debt. Anyways, so they pushed my shirt up about halfway up my stomach and poured some tequila on my stomach. I didn't budge an inch. They flipped a coin and Speed had to go first, only Speed knew that I wouldn't kill him... So Speed sprinkled a pinch of salt on my stomach and lapped up the liquor like a dog, lime in hand. I was in the middle of a very blissful dream that Tommy had dumped Sadie and decided to go on tour with me, so I wasn't surprised. I'm told I moaned and told him, "Don't stop!" But these are horny guys we're talking about, so they could've been lying.

I'm also told that after he sucked and licked all of that up, he squeezed the lime over my stomach and licked that up too, but again, I didn't notice, as I was asleep and thought that I was, uh... with Tommy. So when Speed pulled away, I apparently grabbed his head and planted a big wet one on him. But my memories of that are foggy at best. I think he was a good kisser though... I don't remember 'cause I thought he was Tommy, and I was focusing on that then.

A few minutes later, I woke up for good, just in time to feel Shay pouring brandy (apparently a taste he acquired from his uncle) on my stomach. It was ice cold, and he was bending down when my eyes opened. I saw him there, looking like a vampire about to descend to feed on me, and I freaked. I turned over, and all the brandy rolled off my stomach, but I turned over on my side too fast and I fell off the table on to the hard floor just as the bus lurched. Speed helped me up, but he was acting weird... Nervous. He kept staring at my stomach. It took me a few minutes to realize what Shay had been trying to do, where I was, and what was on my stomach, but then I did. I was so angry. I remember flying after Shay (Kyle blocked the knife drawer) and trying to murder him. I slapped him so hard across the face that I heard his neck pop, and then I topped the matter off by tackling him and trying to strangle him. Since Speed was acting all weird, Wally and Kyle pulled me off of Shay.

Shay, who was afraid for his life, had the bus stopped and got out and hailed a cab. Kyle told me all that had happened, and so Speed ran for the bathroom. He locked the door and slept in the bathtub that night, which was hella uncomfortable, considering how tall he is. I had to wash my stomach off in the sink, which really pissed me off. I banged on the bathroom door for a good hour, screaming at him that I'd have my revenge. Then I realized that I was still tired, so I moved to go back to bed. I didn't like the way Wally was looking at me, though, so I bunked with Kyle, who, to his credit, did not touch me at all. You know, I should give him a raise.

Anyways, that being done, I strode to the front, oozing sex appeal in a way that would've made Sexy Sadie herself proud. "Ooh, ooh, Sexy, sexy Sadie... You sure as hell ain't a lady! 'Cause you keep them all coming back for more... Sexy Sadie, Sexy Sadie, you're a whore!" I chanted, feeling like jumping up and down. I didn't, of course, because that would be stupid. I noticed that the audience was dancing along, like so many had when I was doing "I'm in Love with My Guitar". But the audience was really going wild... Not you know, smashing stuff, but they were eating it up. I grinned and walked over to grab my guitar.

It felt so good to start playing again. Better than sex... Er, not that I would know. Was supposed to know... Uh... Tommy thought... Um... Yeah, I'm gonna stop now. I slid the microphone back into the stand.

"It doesn't matter if he's single or taken..." My eyes bored into Sadie, who bristled and flinched a little. I didn't look at Tommy. "And you completely ignore wedding bands." I fixed a pointed look at my dad. Mom glared at him, and he shrunk down a little, feeling horrible. I saw his lips start to move and I knew he was apologizing. I looked away from him.

"You just take him by the hands..." I motioned, shooting a coy look into the audience, for Speed to come over. He did, still playing, and approached me from behind, moving his guitar behind his back. "And ensure that he gets in your pants..." I sang, grabbing his hands and putting them on my hips. I shook my hips for a minute, then laughed and pushed him away. We both started playing again.

"Ooh, ooh, Sexy, sexy Sadie... You sure as hell ain't a lady! 'Cause you keep them all coming back for more... Sexy Sadie, Sexy Sadie, you're a whore!" I bellowed, bobbing my head to the music and really rocking out. I was having an awesome time. I looked down in the audience and I noticed that my Dad had managed to coax my mom into dancing. They looked like they were having fun. I smiled, feeling happy for them.

My smile faded just a little when I saw Sadie sulking. She looked absolutely mortified, arms crossed over her chest, one hand fingering the prominent bandage on her nose. I could tell she was absolutely miserable... which was what I had wanted, right? But if it was what I had wanted, then why did I feel so awful? Because you are, Jude... Sadie's legs were uncrossed. Oh yeah... I suddenly remembered my anger.

It should be noted that Tommy was not among those dancing, but that he was not scowling like Sadie. He was seated, and clapping, eyes bright, but a frown on his face. And then he was standing, but not clapping. He just looked conflicted, which he was, I guess. I was his artist, his job, so his boss dictated that he should support me. But she was his girlfriend, his, well... You know... You can see why he'd want to keep her happy. I forced myself to forget these thoughts, and concentrated on playing an intense guitar part.

"'Cause you're oh-so, oh-too, oh-my! Sexy Sadie!" I shrieked into the microphone, the guys accompanying me. I raised a hand as if it was a stop sign and gave the audience a come-hither glance, lowering my hand to keep playing. "Put up your red light, Baby... C'mon, Sexy Sadie!" I hollered, backing up a little, still shaking my hips. The audience was in a tizzy.

"Sexy, sexy Sadie... Slutty, slutty Sadie... Skanky, skanky Sadie," I whispered into the mike. I could feel Sadie's glare, and I swallowed, almost stumbling over the words. That damn guilt was coming back. Stupid conscience. I fought to remember what they had done to me. To try and focus on how much fun everyone in the audience, even my parents (somehow, even though they both should've been able to connect the dots), was having. "You aren't a lady, you're just a two-bit ho..."

I shook a finger out at the audience, shaking my head. "So please don't entice those men anymore..." I implored seductively. I pursed my lips disapprovingly, pausing to catch a breath. "You may be sexy, Sadie, but you're a whore..." A strap of my supposed shirt slipped down my shoulder a little and most of the men in the crowd went wild. Uh, oops.

I sped up the chords for the final line, getting ready for a musical climax... Hmm, dirty. I put everything I had into that last line, forgetting all my guilt and problems. This, this was what I lived for. Performing and sharing my music with the world. "Sex-charged, sex-obsessed, over-sexed, sexual, Sexy Sadie," I hissed, flipping my hair and finishing the song. There was an enormous applause for me... I got a standing ovation! I hugged S.M.E., thanked the crowd, waved, and then headed backstage. I picked up my leather jacket and ran into Joan.

"Hey, glad you could make it! Um, right now I kind of have to change, and I'm sure my producer and my parents are going to ball me out for that song, but, I think I can manage to hang out with you as long as I get back before midnight... Ugh... I don't know what I'm saying. I'll just change, talk to Georgia and Darius, and try and avoid everyone who wants to kill me," I said nervously, glancing around for any glimpses of Tommy or my family. Joan laughed, nodding. She said she was going to wait by my dressing room while I talked to Georgia and Darius.

They both said the same stuff pretty much... That the song was killer... A huge hit! I was going to be number one on the charts. Blah, blah, blah, blah... Bigger than the Beatles version... What was it called? Too Sexy Sadie... You get the drift. They both seemed proud, but my mind was elsewhere. I found myself just nodding. My mind was in so many different places... I knew there was going to be an aftermath I'd have to face. I guess you could say I was preparing myself mentally.

So it was in a self-imposed stupor that I stumbled to my dressing room. But I wasn't even half-way there when I heard the voices. Some achingly familiar voices. Tommy and Sadie, of course. They were arguing and weren't even trying to be quiet about it. That sure snapped me out of my stupor fast, and I hid behind a curtain (I know, a famous rockstar hiding behind a curtain... well, not quite that famous. I'm sorta like the Habsburgs, getting famous for who I hook up with) to eavesdrop.

"This isn't easy for me either, Tommy! Jude just wrote a song about me being a slut and sang it on national television... She didn't even bother to change my name. And you saw how much everyone liked the song! They were all dancing along and bobbing their heads! Even Dad started to!" Sadie snarled, waving her hands about wildly. She was completely losing it, and I felt a smug satisfaction at that fact. Sadie was about to blow a gasket. I felt a bit guilty, though.

Not that that stopped me from listening. Sadie went on. Drama queen. "I'm going to be more popular than Roxanne! I can see it now... Here comes Red Light Sadie! Or should I say Too Sexy Sadie? I'm going to be the laughingstock of my school," Sadie proclaimed, making a move similar to one of the dance moves I had used while performing. The move was a sharp turn of the hips. Tommy stared, of course, and it took him a good minute to regain his concentration.

People didn't have to know that she was the Sexy Sadie in question. I mean, only people who know us can put that together. So our dad was Beatles freak, big deal... Really, though, did Mom lose a bet or something? I think they were going to name her Lucy, but Mom didn't want to name her daughter after a song about drugs. But then again, he could've named her so many other things... Anna, Georgia, Rita, Prudence (Yeah, Sadie being named Prudence? I find it hilarious too), Michelle, Lizzy, Eleanor, Julia, Maggie, Madonna, Martha, Sally (being named after a prostitute? Come on, that's just perfect), Pam (Sadie being named after a transvestite? Yeah, now that would be priceless!), or Yoko (Okay, so he would never name her Yoko. Lord, the man HATES her).

I mean, so her first name's Sadie. Big deal. Doesn't mean the song's about her. I could've just chose it because it rhymes with lady... Yeah, that's my excuse! Crappy excuse. I suppose I could've done Cady, Baby, Haiti, Jadey, Katie, Natie, Matey... Katie would've been smarter. But it just doesn't have the same ring, you know? But is anyone gonna buy that excuse? Hell no...

And, yeah, her last name is Harrison, but that doesn't mean that people will ask questions. We don't look anything alike, after all... I have cousins who look more like my sister than Sadie does. Hey, they might think I'm the bastard daughter of George Harrison, for all I know... You know, if that weren't so completely ridiculous, it would be completely cool. I wonder if anyone actually thinks that...

I mean, she's giving these people a lot of credit here. I'm pretty sure they're not exactly Einsteins over there. I mean, you know, if they can even think after the partying, drinking, screwing, cramming for tests, and crappy diets. Hmm, that sounds a lot like Tommy's Boyz Attack! days. Except you don't see a lot of teenagers getting married and divorced, now do you?

Tommy shrugged. "The price of fame..." He muttered vaguely. I couldn't blame Sadie for being mad. This was so different for her than it was for him. She looked bad, and he looked good. That's just not right. Next time I'll sing the song about him being a slut. Sadie glared at him for a minute and looked as if she wanted to slap him. Unfortunately, she didn't. Why was she such a doormat when it came to Tommy?

Why are you such a doormat when it comes to Tommy? I don't know. He just seems to have that effect on normally intelligent women. Damn boybanders.

Sadie shook her head, exhaling heavily, and pacing nervously. She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Whatever," She mumbled dismissively. She stopped pacing and stared at Tommy for a minute. For a few seconds it looked as if their argument was over. But, knowing Sadie... And, as if on cue, she spoke out again, furious. "It's not like it helps seeing the tabloids saying that you're with her!" Sadie screamed, on the verge of tears. I felt guilty for being such a threat to her relationship.

"They also said that she slept with Shay and is dating Chaz..." Tommy pointed out wisely. Well, you can't argue with him there. And we both know both of those are lies. Me sleeping with Tommy is a lie too, but he doesn't know that. Sadie gave him a look of pure death. Well, I can see that. I'd be pissed too... I mean, that's like saying it's okay to say that. Tommy shrugged. "Just saying," He grunted, looking down.

There was an awkward silence between the two, and I briefly debated going to my dressing room. Tommy looked up, snorting. "Besides, I bet next week she'll have "hooked up" with Speiderman, or, heaven forbid, J.P. or Bruno..." Tommy remarked casually. Somehow, Sadie managed to laugh. I would've laughed too, but for two things. Number one, he was absolutely right. Number two, they could've heard me. I mean, after licking Speed, I'm sure that they'll have something about it. He's cute enough, after all. Ugh, don't tell Speed I said that. All this touring's giving him a bit of an ego... I mean, he's no Tommy or Shay, but still... getting there!

Sadie giggled and hit him on the arm. "Tommy!" She squealed, pretending to sound annoyed. I could tell by the giggle that she was flirting though... Who didn't flirt with Tommy nowadays. Tommy sighed.

"All right... I'll talk to her about it..." Tommy promised. Funny, I was afraid he'd do just that. He's already made himself clear enough about it. I can't stand anymore of him shoving it in my face like that. I'll get a boyfriend this year and make him so irritated he can't stand it. I swear, so help me, God, I'll do it. Sadie gave Tommy a look, and he sighed again. "I'll try and clean up this mess, okay, Sades? I promise you, baby, it won't wind up on her album..." Tommy drawled, and I knew he was saying all the right words. Sadie smiled.

She looked like she wanted to giggle but hastily plastered a sober look on her face. Tommy pouted, and he was so adorable that if I was his girlfriend, I would've been all over him in a second. But I'm not his girlfriend. Sadie is. And Sadie is a tease.

He put a hand on her bare shoulder, sliding it up and down the warm flesh there. I felt sick. "Come on, Sadie, baby... Who's my Sexy Sadie?" Tommy whispered suggestively, wrapping his arms around her waist. Sadie giggled again and leaned in to kiss Tommy. I couldn't stand it anymore. I turned around and left.

Or, rather, tried to leave. But me, stupid, clumsy me, tripped over a guitar stand. And I said Tommy was the trainwreck... I went down hard. I felt embarrassed, and I could feel the bruises forming on my knees, but I thought I'd be okay. Ha, ha. Good one, Jude.

For, you see, as soon as I pushed myself up and turned to go towards the dressing room, I found myself practically nose-to-nose with Tommy. I stumbled backwards, noticing the unhappy look on his face. Then I looked down and saw Sadie wrapped around him like a smug boa constrictor. Did she really have to rub it in my face like this. I looked down and moved to walk past them. Maybe if I was fast enough...

Someone grabbed my shoulder and stopped me in my tracks. I just wanted to get out of here... Was that so wrong? I wasn't amused, so I might've flicked whoever it was off and then tried to walk off. Next thing I knew, I had been swirled around and was now flat up against the wall. It was impossible to say which of them had done it, but Sadie was angrier than Tom, if that says anything.

"Were you eavesdropping?" Sadie growled snottily. Why does she care? I mean, really... She didn't say anything I couldn't have guessed. And besides, what Tommy said obviously reaffirms his decision to be with Sadie. She should be glad I'm finally... getting it. I rolled my eyes at Sadie, who was getting in my face.

"It's not eavesdropping if everyone can hear you, Sadie," I retorted, annoyed. Ooh, that was good! Sadie blinked, disbelieving. What, you don't think that I'll be smart about it? Jeez, I'm in love with your boyfriend... This is pretty much my way of fighting back... my only way. I crossed my arms around my chest and wondered how long I'd be stuck here.

Sadie pursed her lips, silent. For a few moments, she didn't know what to say. But, being Sadie, that didn't last long. "How much did you overhear?" She asked insistently. I don't know, Sadie, how much did I overhear? I wonder if I missed anything good at the beginning... Well, I suppose so. There has to be something, or else she wouldn't be so damn worried about... whatever the hell it is.

I shrugged carelessly. "Enough." Being mysterious will totally freak her out. What does she think I heard? Is it all about her being insecure about my relationship with Tommy? That's lame... I mean, I can see why she would worry, and, in all honesty, she probably should worry. I mean, does she think that Montreal was the only time we've kissed? I'm pretty sure he hasn't told her about the other times, seeing as most of them happened today, and then he was drunk last night... And making out with me in my dressing room doesn't exactly make him look good.

I wonder if he's told her about the one at the Vinyl Palace... But that was just embarrassing for all involved, so I'd say no... But it's not like he pushed me away or anything... He'd have some explaining to do. And if he told her about the kiss that never happened, well, that just makes him a hypocrite, doesn't it? That would be him going back on his word.

I mean, I know what I've insinuated... Would she believe me over Tommy? That's a tough call. But she doesn't have anything to worry about. Tommy might let me kiss him, okay, but he won't be with me. I know that... I accept that. I'm not going to try and steal him away... He's a mess, too old, and completely wrong for me. He's not what I need. I need someone I can rely on, not a flake.

But you're crazy to think that I'm telling Sadie a word of that. Completely crazy. I mean, I need to get a little revenge, even if it's only trivial. I'm just in it to freak her out a little bit... I need some time, that's all. And to not ever see them making out again...

Sadie's hands rested on her hips. She scowled, eyes narrowing as she glared at me. I wasn't phased. I didn't know what she was going to say to me, but I didn't expect it to be anything bad. I thought it would be some lame remark, not at all what she said. What she said was... like a cold shower. It just... I didn't need to hear it, and I definitely didn't want to, but it opened my eyes... a lot.

She was dead serious, too. And when she got up in my face, invading my personal space, she wasn't my sister anymore. This wasn't the Sadie I'd played with when I was little. This wasn't the Sadie who danced and did karate. This wasn't the Sadie who kissed her Boyz Attack! poster every night.

Or maybe she was... Maybe she was the same girl who'd dreamed of marrying Little Tommy Q., the eternal playboy... And maybe that was the problem.

The look on her face scared me. I didn't recognize her anymore. She might've been Eden by the way she looked at me... Like I was stealing something that belonged to her.

If I had any doubts about the depth of her feelings for Tommy, they died right there.

I looked at her, that furious, avenging, protective look on her face, and I just knew. And on some level, it broke my heart too.

"Don't you get it, Jude?" Sadie sneered viciously. She expelled each word with such fury that if she had been any closer, she would've spit on me. I remembered what it felt like to take Sadie down a peg. Was that what it felt like, Sadie?

And then, just like in the song, she laid it down for all to see... "He wants me," She snapped venomously. My sister was no longer my sister. She was a snake. And then she said the statement that broke me. "I'm sleeping with him." She stated bluntly, a cruel grin crossing her face. She knew just how much it hurt. Did she have no shame? I reeled back from her, mouth agape, feeling the smarting sting behind her words. It was as if she had slapped me again, only worse.

I didn't hesitate to reply, blurting the first thing that came to mind. My treacherous sister was not having the last word. I wouldn't let her.

What actually came out sounded pretty stupid, but it did the job.

"Well, maybe he ought to wake up!" I countered childishly. I didn't wait for a reaction from Sadie. I brushed past her, bumping into her shoulder, and moved to leave. I had walked past the both of them and was almost home-free when Sadie spoke again.

"You need to get over your little obsession with my boyfriend, okay, Jude? It's like, so immature..." Sadie drawled mockingly. It took everything in me to resist turning around and jumping on her. But that would be even more immature. I did turn around though, feeling outraged. She has the nerve to say that? Sadie Cherilyn Harrison has the nerve to say that?

I glared daggers at Sadie, but didn't move forward any. I crossed my arms over my chest angrily, snorting. "I have an obsession? Oh, that's rich, Sadie! This from the girl who's wanted to marry him since she was eleven? This from the girl who kissed a poster of him ten times every night before going to bed? This from a girl who listened to his CD every day just to hear his voice? This from a girl who cried for two weeks straight once the band broke up? Way I see it, Sades, you're the one with obsession here!" I snarled, finding myself shouting. Sadie looked horrified, and that made me feel good. My eyes flicked over to Tommy. He was using his mother's Botox genes again, so there wasn't any expression on his face. It's not like he didn't know about her Boyz obsession.

Sadie frowned, trying to think of a comeback. Bring it on, Sadie! She seemed to actually mull it over for a minute or two before mercifully deciding that she'd pushed it enough. She shrugged dismissively, as if I was once again no longer a threat. Like she hadn't just been afraid I was going to usurp her position. Moodswing Central. "Look, Jude, just stay away from my boyfriend," Sadie replied simply.

Once again, my sister was all prim and proper and holier-than-thou. She has some nerve. I can't stay away from him, though... I mean, he's practically my boss. I work with the guy, I write songs with the guy... We spend hours in the studio going over my sound... Melody, harmony, notes, octaves, beats, riffs, solos, background vocals, mood, lyrics, word-choice, mixing... Even if I wanted to, I couldn't stay away from him. I rolled my eyes at Sadie. Naïve Sadie.

"I couldn't stay away from him if I tried," I murmured, looking down. A moment later, I realized how that sounded and flushed to my roots, rushing to amend my statement. "And... believe me... I have." I sighed. Man, this conversation is such a buzzkill.

Sadie screwed up her face, evaluating and assessing me. I could tell my words unnerved her. To tell you the truth, they freaked me out too. "What do you mean by that, Jude?" She questioned in an annoyingly calm voice. The smile on her face was so fake. I could see right through her. Bye-bye Sadie... Hello, Stepford!

I shrugged, smirking evilly. Somehow I had the power again. Even after her little... declaration. It felt good. "Wouldn't you like to know?" I insinuated insidiously, mysteriously, ambiguously. Tom looked panicked. Oh, so he's worried I'll blow his cover, tell her how we've kissed... No, that would make me look bad, of course. But he didn't push me away. My tongue's been down his throat, and he didn't do one damn thing about it. Oh well... Whatever. Never mind, right?

After all, Tom... Old habits die hard.

Sadie's eyes flashed furiously and she moved towards me as if to strike, but Tom held her back. What, Tom, you gonna speak now? Or are you gonna wait for me to make the first move like I always do? As if to prove my point, he said nothing. Well, it just figures, doesn't it, Tom?

I rolled my eyes, snorting. "Please, Sadie!" I exclaimed loudly, sounding appalled at the accusation. However, I began to chuckle softly, almost under my breath. Do you think that gave me away? "I wouldn't touch your boyfriend with a ten-foot pole..." I replied smoothly, glancing at Sadie coolly through narrowed eyes. Tom snorted, obviously disbelieving. What, Tom, don't think I can stay away? Try me, Tom. Just try me. You started it... all of it, okay, Tom? My eyes darted to Tommy, and our stares met. Intense like a nuclear bomb. I licked my upper lip, feeling oddly predatory, like a hungry tiger or something. I paused, letting a slow smile spread across my face. "After all, I might catch something..." I hissed slowly, feeling my eyes flash.

Sadie frowned, hands on her hips. Poor confused little Sadie. What will we do, Sadiekins? She glanced briefly at her boyfriend, who glared at me and shrugged helplessly. Please, Tom, you are anything but helpless. This entire situation is your fault. "What are you saying?" Sadie inquired, obviously suspicious, but in a remarkably even tone.

I shrugged, walking back to the wall. I needed something to lean on. This might take a while. "I'm saying that Tommy gets around, has done the whole town... You're smart, figure it out!" I returned caustically, waving it off dismissively. Tommy's jaw tightened. Well, there was some truth in my statement, now, wasn't there? To my sister's credit, it sure didn't take her long to rush to her boyfriend's defense. Not that he really deserves it.

"He hasn't done the whole town!" She shouted a bit louder than she meant to, cheeks flushed. She was a little bit breathless. I rolled my eyes, shooting her a look. Give me a break, Sadie. You can't blind yourself to his flaws forever... You're going to have to see them someday.

I put a finger on my lip and pretended to look thoughtful for a minute before nodding. "Oh, right..." I told Sadie, as if just recalling something. An instant (pardon the pun) later, I turned to face Tom, fixing an intense stare on his face. On my lips, the light, polite words became neither. I delivered them with a thin, grim smile and all. "Sorry, Tom. I forgot to subtract your mom and your brothers...I stressed the word brothers, taking care to especially stress the s. Tommy scowled, wondering how I knew. "The whole town minus three, then."

Sadie got sorta hysterical then. "He wouldn't do that! He's not like that! Not anymore!" She screeched desperately. She wanted to believe what she was saying, but she didn't sound that sure of it. I could only shake my head, amazed at the lengths my sister was going to. Ridiculous. Simply ridiculous.

I rolled my eyes. She can't seriously buy that, right? I mean, honestly, who would? "Okay, now you're just deluding yourself... Wake up and smell the coffee, Sadie! Tom is bad news. He's been around the block so many times he's worn a permanent groove in the sidewalk. You have no idea how screwed up he is. Dump his sorry ass already, or, trust me, you'll regret it!" I yelled, beginning a mini-tirade on him. I was sort of proud of myself. The words were great... They just kept coming, and before I knew it, there I was, telling, not asking, her to dump him.

And the weird thing is that I wasn't saying that because I wanted to be with Tommy. I might be in love with him, sure, but in that moment, I would rather have died than be with him. The thought made me feel ill.

Sadie was pretty much grasping at straws now. Deep down, on some level, she knew I was right... She also knew she had to keep arguing, or else she would wind up doing something she would regret... like breaking up with Tom. "You're just jealous of me because he's happy being with me! He doesn't want you, Jude... Get the hell over it!" Sadie proclaimed boldly, gaining back her self-confidence. Her words stung, but then again, she knew that. I didn't know if Tommy was really happy with her. In fact, I didn't even know if he was happy with me. I knew he wanted me, though... If he'd...

I felt like she punched me in the gut, and there I was, doubled over and gasping for breath. In reality, I just stood there and took it, but it hurt all the same. It was being told to get over it that did it for me. Didn't she see that I was trying to do just that? She, of all people, should know how I'm feeling! I mean, what right does she have to tell me what to do! It's not like she's my role model or anything... I can't get over the guy in one night, Sadie. I'm in love with him, and that's not going to change overnight!

No matter how much I want it to.

I felt like I'd been sucker-punched, but I didn't stop. I bravely persisted onward. It got to the point where I wasn't even looking at Tom anymore... I didn't care! "I'm trying to look out for you here, Sadie. I'm trying to make sure you don't get hurt. He's going to cheat on you," I reaffirmed strongly. I knew he was going to, too. I just knew it... firsthand. If she knew he's kissed me... That, I'm sure, is the least of your woes. Why does she want a guy who'll cheat on her? Didn't Dad teach her anything? I'm sure that statement made Tom irate, but he didn't say a word.

Sadie cast frantic looks to Tom, but he obviously didn't reassure her. "He's not like that anymore..." She muttered not-so-intelligently. I wanted to smack her upside the head and make her realize the truth. How could someone so smart and so talented be so stupid? She sounded like a little kid, unsure, hesitant, quiet... Not at all like herself. Maybe I finally had my sister back.

I shook my head in awe, disbelieving. "God, Sadie, you're so naïve! He's gonna break your heart!" I growled as my voice rose an octave in fury. I had to make her see. I had to make her see him for who he really is. She was going to be heartbroken like all the other girls, and despite all of our differences, she didn't deserve that.

Sadie shook her head calmly, but the words she spoke came out as anything but. She was a little panicked, a little worried, and she knew, on some level, that I was completely right. Naturally, she decided to tempt fate with her statement. "You don't know that!" Oh, but Sadie, I do, I do... Trust me, I do. I know better than anyone except maybe Portia.

"I do..." I replied quietly, glancing down. I wondered vaguely if she'd heard me. But she had, of course. She couldn't tune me out even though she wanted to.

Sadie snorted, irritated, and that was where she lost her cool and completely went off on me. She didn't understand. "You do? You do! Okay then, Jude, tell me... Tell me now. How do you know he's going to break my heart, huh?" She repeated numbly, a mocking edge to her tone. The sarcastic disbelief was evident in her prideful voice. Her words made me feel small, like a kid again. I just wanted to run away, but she was my sister and she had to know the truth... what little of it I could tell her.

"Why don't you ask him, Sadie?" I began, pointing at Tom. I finally looked at him. The static, stiff posture, the taut muscles, narrowed eyes, pursed lips... A thousand little signs of how angry he was. Our gazes locked silently and he made no apologies. He was still so wrathful, so enraged, so maddened... and so silent. Why hadn't he said a word our entire conversation, I wondered, why? Sadie's eyes flicked to Tom anxiously, curious about what to ask him. Tom offered no explanations to the questions in her eyes either.

I sighed raggedly, clutching my stomach and leaning against the wall. I just wanted to slide down it and sink to a sitting position so I could catch my breath and maybe cool down a little... Relax for one second, you know? I gazed up at Sadie miserably, not wanting to start crying again, but tears filled my eyes when I thought of what had happened earlier that day. I blinked back the tears, refusing to acknowledge them or let even a single drop leak out of my eyes. "Why don't you ask him how he broke mine!" I screamed shakily, quietly, in a whisper, feeling my voice break mid-sentence. My throat felt hoarse again. I can't do this again.

The look on Sadie's face was a look of pure shock, as if my feelings surprised her. A few moments later, she tore her wide-eyed stare away from me to focus on Tom. Her eyes were curious, but he revealed nothing... at least on the outside. Mr. Botox strikes again. That's his problem... He can't express his emotions correctly... to say the least.

Sadie looked between us, growing more nervous by the minute. She was jittery and jumpy, and, then... She just snapped. "Somebody better tell me what the hell is going on here!" Sadie hollered vehemently. Her green eyes darkened, but they weren't as dark as Travis'. The anger, however, was equal. She focused her stare on Tommy and me in turn, but neither of us spoke. I stared at Tommy. There is no way I'm explaining how Trainwreck Tommy broke my heart like... twelve times.

Tom ignored my implication, looking at me angrily. "You don't have the right to interfere in my relationship with Sadie. It's none of your business," He growled, narrowing his eyes at me. I'm not interfering, okay? You're the one at fault here... And how can you say that it isn't my business? You're my producer. She's my sister. It is my business!

And who, may I ask, gave you the right to sleep with over half of Canada? "Nice way to avoid the question, Tom... by pinning it all on me. Real mature," I countered bitterly. Tommy shot me a glare... like saying "You're one to talk". Hey, at least I have an excuse! I'm sixteen! The decision-making part of my brain isn't fully developed yet... Obviously. So, Tom, what's yours?

"Sadie and I are consenting adults, so back off," Tom muttered irritably. Gone was the warmth in his eyes. His eyes were chips of blue ice and they bored into me like a drill. His tone was low, somewhat threatening, like he had reached that threshold and could take no more.

I snorted. Adults? Both of them? Sadie's still a teenager! Give me a break. There are college students older than Tommy. I rolled my eyes. "I wouldn't say either of you are adults yet," I retorted snidely, pausing briefly before continuing, "In fact, you have the emotional maturity of a thirteen-year-old." Tom's expression darkened, and Sadie smirked a little, the first reminder all night that she was my sister.

"And you have the mental maturity of a five-year-old," Tom returned viciously. I hated what he was insinuating. That I was stupid or something... Or that I couldn't grasp the fact that he was with Sadie. I can, Tom, I will, and I do. I rolled my eyes at him, hands on my hips.

"That never stopped you from kissing me. But I guess you think sixteen's old enough for... that," I hissed with a smirk. Tommy looked uncomfortable and Sadie... Sadie looked mad, confused, hurt, and ready to karate-chop me. Ooh, I'm so terrified, Sadie. Yeah... You kinda lose the fear after you break that person's nose. Speaking of her nose... It looked hilarious. I mean, I hadn't seen it before, but there was this GIANT white bandage/gauze concoction on it. It made her look a lot less intimidating and a lot more like a bad hockey player.

Sadie shot Tom a questioning look, but he just shrugged it off coolly, eyes narrowing at me. He was practically saying that he didn't have any idea what I was going on about. Yeah right, Tom. I rolled my eyes again, for what felt like the millionth time all night. It probably was, too. I don't need this. "You have no right to lecture me, Tom," I grunted, annoyed.

Tom's eye twitched, but then I noticed Chaz. Oh, thank God! Someone to rescue me from this NIGHTMARE. Immediately, I forgot about Tommy and rushed at my new savior. I didn't look back. I've had enough of Tommy for one day. For about a week, if you want the truth. Chaz frowned at my enthusiasm. "Where's the fire?" He questioned, bemused.

I gestured behind me, and he nodded knowingly. Then he frowned, obviously taking a closer look at my sister. Typical males. "I've seen her before," He mumbled, sounding somewhat dazed. Oh, jeez! Not you too! What is my sister, a boybander magnet? It's funny, you know... She lusted after them so long ago. I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Obviously the drugs had messed Chaz up a lot if he didn't remember the Music Helps concert... Though, really, how could he not?

"Yeah... That's my sister, Sadie. She was at the benefit concert, remember?" I explained slowly, as if I was talking to a clueless two-year-old or a drool monkey. Chaz had the nerve to roll his eyes. Dork. You asked in the first place, idiot. And then he shook his head.

"I know that, Jude... But I've seen her before. Definitely," He nodded, checking Sexy Sades out, giving her the once-over. "You don't forget a girl like that..." Ugh. Okay, now I just felt sick to my stomach.

"You do realize that she's Tommy's girlfriend, right? And I have it on good authority that she's in love with the idiot..." I pointed out sagaciously. Chaz frowned, looking a little disappointed. He muttered something about girls always going after Tommy. I thought something about guys always going after Sadie.

But Chaz looked past me again, giving my sister a contemplative look. "I've definitely seen her before... Did she ever go to one of our concerts?" He pondered curiously, grasping at straws... Hmm, let's think now, shall we, Chazzy? She was your biggest fan for like... three, four years? She went to every concert you ever had in Toronto. I nodded vigorously, and Chaz decided to elaborate. "Backstage?"

How am I supposed to know that? I never went to a Boyz Attack! concert. Ugh. I bet she would've bragged about it... But how am I supposed to know? I would've been like twelve... at the oldest... I don't exactly remember much. I shrugged helplessly and Chaz, being the genius that he is, walked over to them despite my warnings. I groaned, but turned around to watch from a distance. I couldn't hear what was being said, but Chaz walked back a few minutes later with a smug look on his face.

I started walking in the direction of my dressing room and he followed. I stopped a few feet before the door, curiosity getting the best of me. "So, what did Sadie tell you?" I asked regrettably.

Chaz pretended to think it over for a second, but the freaky smile on his face betrayed him. "She was backstage at one of our last concerts... Here, in Toronto, on the World Tour... She was like fourteen..." He explained, sounding a bit dreamy. Are you kidding me? Does he have a crush on my sister too? It went without saying that he remembered Sadie... She wasn't very forgettable.

So I was like... twelve. Hmm... Why don't I remember this? Sadie was probably bragging about it. It's not something I'd be liable to forget... Maybe I repressed it because she kept rambling on about it... Hmm.

Chaz was still smirking, though, as if he knew something I didn't. He knew a lot of things I didn't, so I had a feeling it had to do with a fourteen-year-old Sadie and the aforementioned concert. "What?" I questioned irritably.

Chaz' cheesy grin widened further. He was practically jumping with glee. "I made out with your sister," He blurted brightly. He made out with Sadie? Back in the day? When he had more... hair? Chaz? I mean, are you sure? That's more of Tommy's gig, isn't it? And, ewww... He was like... eighteen then. And Sadie was just an innocent little fourteen-year-old. Now I know something's wrong here with me not remembering. Sadie would not have shut up about making out with Chaz... I mean, she had a pretty big crush on him too.

I hit Chaz, looking disgusted. "Eew! My sister was fourteen! That's sick!" I frowned and hit Chaz again. Preying on innocent, obsessive Sadie. Chaz shrugged helplessly, and I gave him a look.

"I'm surprised you were able to remember that. Weren't you doing Mary-Jane in your free time?" I retorted, slightly amused. Chaz' grin fell, and he shook his head, thinking carefully. See, okay, that's why I'm not doing drugs. Chaz is a walking anti-drug advertisement.

Then he shook his head again. "No, that was Bruno. J.P. tripped out, did some experimenting... Tommy drank like a fish and chain-smoked for a while. He wasn't into the heavy stuff, but with the way Tommy does things, he makes everything intense. Actually, most of us smoked... But Darius hated it, so he made us all go cold turkey. That smoke's horrible on your lungs. I did coke, drank a little... And we let the fame get to our heads, had some fun with groupies... Wait, why am I telling you this?" Chaz rambled. I shrugged. My head was spinning. I'd forgotten what I'd even said, actually. Chaz paused for a moment.

"Anyways, I meant to ask you if you wanted to go clubbing with me. It seems like you could use the break," He offered, holding out a hand. I stared at his hand for a moment. He was right... After the day I'd had, a break sounded great. But then again, this was Chaz... who'd made out with my sister. Could I trust him? I mean, I thought I could, but...

"You trying to pick me up or something?" I muttered, fixing him with a stern look. To my chagrin, Chaz started laughing at me. I felt sort of offended. "What, is it that ridiculous that someone would want to go out with me?" My face was about as red as my hair. You know, for a girl who hated boybanders, I sure have a lot of embarrassing boybander moments... Great, so now I not only felt bad, but was also horribly embarrassed.

Chaz stopped laughing, shaking his head instead. He was smiling, and I hated him for it. "It's ridiculous when that someone is me..." He said, coughing to cover up his snickering. Great, so now I'm pathetic. Not that I wasn't before... I mean, me, a punk-rocker, in love with a boybander. Now that's humiliating. And when you add in the fact that he's my producer/co-writer... That's messed up. Now, imagine if said man is dating your sister... That's just plain sad. And when you add in the age difference, it's wrong. So here I was, screwed a thousand ways from Sunday, pretty much, and it only got... weirder. Chaz saw my embarrassed look and patted me on the shoulder. "No offense, but you're a little too young for me."

Jeez, channeling Tommy much? Did he pick that up from you? Oh, wait, sorry, weren't you the one who made out with a fourteen year old when you were at least four years older? And, no, don't give me that excuse of, oh, it's like a senior dating a freshman. Because I can tell you right now from experience that that stuff doesn't happen. And if it does, it's because the senior in question wants something from the poor, innocent, little freshman, and they can't get it from someone their old age because they have taste. I rolled my eyes. "That's crap, Chaz," I grunted, crossing my arms over my chest.

Chaz nodded. "Yeah, you're right. So... You want to go or not?" He posed somewhat awkwardly. I thought about it for a moment. Hmm, go clubbing with Chaz and maybe meet some cute guys... Or face the wrath of my parents?

Chaz it is then.

I nodded. "Okay, cool... I've just got to change and tell my friend, Joan. I'll be back in a few," I answered calmly, feeling oddly self-assured. Ten bucks says this gets in the tabloids... I wonder if Tommy's face will turn purple. I mean, I'm shooting for mauve, but violet would be nice. Ooh, and bright, screaming purple would be nice, but that's a bit ambitious for a first timer. If I really wanted to piss Tommy off I'd hang around Shay, given their mutual animosity (I really can't blame Shay... I mean, Tommy and his mom? That's low, even for Tom), but even I don't want to piss him off that badly. Ugh, Shay.

I walked confidently to my dressing room, and, as predicted, Joan was waiting patiently outside. I informed her off Chaz' offer and she agreed, oddly enough. She shrugged and said something about opening her mind and trying new things... Being able to see how the big shots live, something like that... So then we had to go into my dressing room and be girlish about the whole thing, trying on outfits... Mixing and matching was necessary, as the outfits had the general appearance of hoedom, but, after fifteen minutes (sorry, Chaz!), we were both sufficiently comfortable and ready to let loose.

Even if it was only for a few hours one night... And I was bound to get in even more trouble than I was already in (which is really saying something, 'cause by this point, that was pretty much impossible).

So, you see, I could really use the break.

Loren ;

I really appreciate your wonderful reviews... More are good too. ;) Anyways, just to clarify it here, Jude isn't hooking up with Chaz... He's going to be her friend. And you can bet the concert where Chaz and Sadie made out is going to be important and come up again...

You know what's weird? I just realized how family is such a big part of this fic... I mean, Jude's... Tommy's... Georgia's (well, okay, her sister)... Darius'... Isn't that freaky?

Lol, anyways, I think the next chapter will be called "Me Out of Me"... Or maybe "My Sweet Time", if I feel like it... I don't know. She probably won't be singing, though. Anyways, that chapter will probably be shorter... So, thanks for taking the time to read this.