"Thane! Wait!" Shepard reached after him, but he was already gone, replaced by Liara in his stead.

"Shepard! What happened?" she asked, watching Thane's retreating back. When she received no reply, Liara rushed off after him, leaving Shepard once again alone in the mess hall with the green apple tea. Well, there goes that opportunity, she thought. She knew Thane was a valuable asset to the team when it came to beating up bad guys. And the Reapers were mega bad guys. Part of Shepard was hoping to keep him around when the real threat came. If he left, well... She paused her train of thought. Was she just really considering it? Taking on the legion of Reapers? By her self.... Suicide mission against the Collectors? Compared to the upcoming threat, that was a cake walk. The thought was rather depressing. Shepard took a first sip of the tea. It was lukewarm which made it taste awkward. She needed caffeine. Soon.

"Shepard. I've got good news!" Garrus announced, walking toward her from his usual hang out spot.

"No way. Good news? You're not joking?" Shepard asked him skeptically when he was close enough to hear. He beamed at her, his eyes bright as diamonds.

"Good news is hard to come by these days, but I've got some for you."

"Lay it on me."

".... Is that an invitation?" he asked mischievously.

"You know what I mean, Garrus." she sighed, absolutely in no mood.

"Well, I found some upgrades."

"That's it?"

"Not just any upgrades, Shepard." he handed her the data pad he was holding. She looked over his findings and had to admit, they were pretty impressive.

"Nice. Where do we get them?"

"That's the hard part."

"I knew there was a catch. Alright, who do we need to kill to get these?"

"We may not need to kill anyone, Shepard." Garrus laughed. "Although an ass kicking sounds good right now."

"OK, I'll get you the credits, you get me the parts."

"Sounds good. You know where to find me."

He took the data pad from her hands and left, pausing half way, then turning around and heading back toward her. He sat in the seat Thane recently vacated and looked at her, all humor gone.

"About the other night..." Garrus started. "I don't know what happened. Not sure if I even want to know. But I trust you, Shepard. I know you won't lie to me."

Shepard reached out and took his clawed hand into hers.

"Garrus, I'm sorry, I didn't -"

"This isn't fair!" Liara's voice resonated throughout the mess hall. Both Shepard and Garrus turned to look in her direction. She stormed over to their table and placed both hands on top, her face riddled with anger and tears.

"You don't deserve him!" Liara shot in her direction. "He would do anything for you and you just spit in his face! How could you, Shepard! He loves you! You! And I don't understand why! All you've done is hurt him!"

"Dr. T'Soni?" Garrus interjected, confused.

"She's hurt you too, hasn't she, Garrus?" Liara turned on him, tears staining her blue face.

Shepard was getting really pissed off, now.

"Shut up! Both of you!" she yelled out suddenly, jumping up. "I am sick of this bullshit! Leave me the fuck alone!"

She violently pushed the chair under the table and stormed off. The elevator ride down to fourth level felt like forever. Her head spun, Liara's words still ringing in her ears. Couldn't understand why he loved her? What the hell was that supposed to mean? Liara was the one who endlessly pursued her two years ago, even after being rejected multiple times. Couldn't understand my ass. Shepard hopped into the shuttle, closed the hatch behind her, and set a destination. She had no idea where it would take her and it didn't matter. She just wanted to get as far away from everyone as possible. Why wasn't there an option for an all women crew? Or maybe a crew made up of her clones? She wouldn't fall in love with herself. And she didn't know why others did. Shepard just wasn't a loving type. The concept of love itself was alien to her. She would have rather taken on the Reapers all by herself than deal with this... crap.

The shuttle landed and a robotic voice announced that the atmosphere was toxic and it was recommended that the passengers wore protective gear. Shepard didn't have her armor or a breathing mask. She hadn't even consider the possibility of landing in a hostile environment, she was so used to always having her armor. This day was getting worse and worse, all because of her. Shepard hated making mistakes because usually, in her line of work, mistakes resulted in death. But this was different and she knew it.

Shepard punched in a new destination, this time carefully making sure the environment was safe for breathing. She wasn't used to being alone in the shuttle. Or being alone, period. Throughout her life, as messed up as it was, she always had someone by her side. Be it her enemy or her friend. Except now, she wasn't sure if she even had friends left. How did she get herself into this mess to begin with?

Oh, that's right. Someone had the bright idea to take her to earth.

The shuttle finally reached her destination and she unlocked the hatch. The planet was uninhabited for the most part. She stepped out and took in a deep breath of air. It was cool and refreshing. The surroundings reminded her of pictures of Earth back in its primal state over a thousand years ago. Lush, green, beautiful. And above all, peaceful. She put some distance between her and the shuttle, found a tree, and laid in the grass beneath it.

Shepard reached out to touch the leaves, knowing that they were out of reach. Just like everything else in her life. She closed her eyes, imagining what was going on the ship. Were they looking for her? Probably not. That was fine by her. But she felt like a coward. Shepard had never run away from her problems before. She complained and shot some people, but never ran away. And that's what she was going now. Hiding like a coward, like so many others had done before her. The Reapers were coming and she couldn't even face her own crew. Pathetic. Shepard squeezed shut her eyes, wishing it all away. Surely even the great Commander Shepard was allowed a lapse in judgment.

Her mind wandered back to what Mordin had said to her on their first meeting. That you cannot receive without giving, first. Had she really given her best? Or had she given at all? The answer was simple. She didn't. Shepard knew she was selfish by nature. Everything she had ever done was for her own personal gain in one way or another. And now, it was coming back to bite her in the ass. She needed to set things straight in order to move forward, in order to succeed.

As if her mind was suddenly cleared of fog and debris, Shepard had an idea. A brilliant idea, she had to admit herself. But first, Shepard needed to set things straight with her, Garrus, and Thane. Unwillingly, she picked herself up off the grass and walked back to the shuttle. When the hatch locked, she saved the location and made a note to come back here again. The clear air was all she needed to get herself back on her feet.

A/N: So, it's a little wordy at the end and this isn't the best chapter ever, but it's a turnaround for Ms. Shepard. Or is it? Life's never easy in the fast lane.