Lies of the Soul

~Chapter 20 – Forks~

EPOV

I should have known not to go back.

I was trying to prove a point by agreeing to it, but I immediately had a feeling of dread as we passed into the city limit of Forks. I didn't have any issues of Bella being Ben anymore, in fact, when I thought back to my childhood, it was Bella who I always saw. But Forks held a certain unease to it, and I was scared of the kind of drama that would arise by going there to visit.

It was a small town, so there was always the risk of running into my father, but I wasn't really worried about that. I didn't care about my father anymore, if I saw him, fine, and if I didn't, even better. I never told him about Benny, he wouldn't understand Bella's and my relationship anyway, so there wasn't any point in trying. My father was a bigot, and the fact that I had a baby with my 'buddy Ben', would never go over well, regardless of the circumstance.

When Bella approached me about attending Charlie's retirement party, I agreed without even thinking. Of course we should be there.

"Are you sure, because I know how much you hate Forks?"

"I don't hate Forks," I lied. "It's just that I always seem to have bad luck there."

"Uh huh, like what?" she challenged me.

"Well, my mom and grandmother died there," I said. She continued to wait knowing I had more to say. "I broke my nose there…twice. My dad got cancer, my best friend died," Bella rolled her eyes at that one. We both knew I was long over it, so the fact I brought it up just proved that I didn't have anything else to criticize. "Look, I'm not complaining, I said I didn't have a problem going, and I don't. I wouldn't miss Charlie's big day for anything."

"Ma!" Benny said as he toddled into the room. He was eleven months old, and had just started walking. Since he became mobile, we had to baby proof everything, and at times, baby proofing meant daddy proofing as well; some of those latches were fucking difficult.

"Hey baby," she said and picked him up before he leaned in to kiss her. Benny was a very affectionate little dude, with a huge personality. He didn't say much, but you could tell he was always thinking, and when he got pissed, everyone paid the price. His temper was immeasurable.

No one would admit it out loud, but Benny started out as one ugly baby. However, during the eleven months since his birth, his head rounded out and sprouted a full scalp of bronze colored hair, his previously squished face relaxed, and he sported the chubbiest cheeks but otherwise perfect features. He had Bella's mouth, nose and ears, but everything else was me. My jaw and bone structure, and my green eyes. He was the perfect blend of us, and I couldn't imagine a cuter kid. Of course, I may have been a little biased, but I highly doubted it; everyone thought he was adorable.

We had yet to take Benny to Forks, but I couldn't come up with any more excuses not to. Charlie always came to visit us, but this time, it was our turn to finally make the trip out there.

"There's my peanut!" Charlie said as I took Benny out of his car seat in front of the Swan house. I stood him up on the uneven ground of the forested location, and he immediately fell over. "Get up buddy, and come to grandpa. I want to see how you walk."

Benny was still new to walking, and Charlie hadn't seen him do it yet. He pushed himself up with his hands, and then toddled to his grandfather.

Charlie had the most expressive look on his face, more so than anything I had ever seen from him. I didn't even know he was capable of smiling that big.

"I told you his walking was awesome," Emmett said as he came out of the house. Emmett and Rose had gone out the day before to help Sue with some last minute party preparations.

Em reached for Benny, but Charlie pulled him away. "You see him all the time, it's my turn."

Rose walked out then, and Benny automatically reached for her. Charlie huffed. "Fine, go to auntie, I'll get you later."

"How's my boy?" Rose said with a high pitched voice and then kissed his chubby cheeks. Rose and Em were his godparents and babysat whenever we needed it, so Benny was very comfortable with them.

Charlie and Bella talked for a little while, and Rose was playing with Benny, so Em helped me get our bags out of the car.

"So, how's it coming?" he asked me.

"How's what coming?" I asked confused.

"Well, have you thought any more about proposing?"

"I have proposed…a lot," I said frustrated. Bella and I had talked about getting married numerous times, but she said that we needed to make it a year together before she'd agree to it. It pissed me off at first, as if she wanted us to pass some fucking test or something, but after asking her repeatedly, I decided not to worry about it for a while.

"Yeah, but it's almost been a year now for you two, and wasn't that her stipulation?"

"It was, but we haven't talked about it for a few months, so I don't really know for sure anymore. I mean, I really don't fucking get it, why the hell is she being so stubborn?"

Emmett shrugged. "She's probably just afraid of getting a divorce. It's not like any of us came from stable conventionally married parents."

"Your parents were stable," I disagreed.

"Yeah, well my mom was killed when I was six months old, not really a good example there."

"But Charlie and her were happy, so it's not like it doesn't happen."

"Wow, look who's being optimistic now. What happened to the Edward who always thought the world was going to end?"

I shrugged. "Living like that will only make me wind up like my old man."

"Well, I'm glad you can see that now."

"Me too."

Sue came over and made us all dinner, and we laughed and ate together. It was the calm before the storm, and even though I had no idea what laid ahead for us, I did keep getting chills and it had nothing to do with the cold.

"Are you ok?" Bella asked me quietly after dinner.

"Yeah, I just keep getting this odd feeling."

"What kind of odd feeling?" she asked.

"I don't know, I'm sure it's nothing. Don't worry about it."

I set up the portacrib in Bella's old room, and we put Benny down for the night. Sue stayed a little longer and made cocktails while we all laughed and joked, mainly making fun of Charlie's twenty five year career.

"Oh dad, remember when you came home dressed like a hobo?" Bella said while laughing.

"I was undercover," he defended himself.

"Undercover from who? Everyone in this town knows you," I acknowledged.

"I was working in La Push. Officer Uley and I were helping each other out."

"Wait, was that the time that you came home and I thought you were a burglar?" Emmett asked him.

"Yes, and you hit me with the fucking bat."

"It's not my fault. Benella over there, told me you had a gun."

"Well, he did," Bella said defensively.

"I'm a cop, I always have a gun," Charlie interjected.

"How was I supposed to know it was you? You were fumbling around, you had a beanie on, and your infamous mustache was gone," Bella said while trying to contain her giggling.

"I had to shave it for disguise purposes."

"Well, that 'stashe definitely does scream 'cop'," I agreed.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Charlie asked confused.

"Oh come on Charlie, it's a cop 'stashe. No one else would be able to pull it off."

"I resent that," Charlie said with mock offense.

"Maybe it's time to shave it off," Emmett suggested.

Charlie grimaced, but actually seemed to be considering it.

"Wanna go to bed?" Bella asked me after yawning.

"Yeah," I said quickly, making Charlie glare at me.

"No funny business you two. I'm not unhip to the times, but I still have morals and you're not married."

"Dad, we live together and have a kid. Do you really think you can pretend we're not having sex?" Bella said with a smile.

"What you do in your own home, is your business," Charlie said, disturbed by the thought.

"Okay, well, us married folk are off to have sex in my old room," Emmett said teasingly. Rose and Charlie both glared at him; Bella and I were just disgusted. "I'm kidding," he said to Rose, but when she looked away he started winking and making sexual gestures. Charlie just huffed and said goodnight.

Bella and I went up to her bedroom, but kept the lights low and stayed quiet because Benny was sleeping. I hadn't really been in that room in years, and I hadn't slept in there since I was a kid, so I couldn't help but look out the window.

"Damn, how the hell did I used to always climb up here?" I asked myself quietly while looking at the tree outside the window.

"Kids have less fear than adults," she said simply.

"I guess so."

I used to scale the tree in the middle of the night, then somehow climb through the window. I had no idea how I never fell, but the idea of it scared me and I really hoped Benny never pulled that shit when he was older.

"Come lay with me," Bella said as she climbed into bed.

I smiled and crawled under the covers before wrapping her in my arms and pressing myself against her.

"I don't remember you ever having an erection before when you used to sleep in here with me," she said while wiggling against me.

"Well, I don't remember you having a vagina before when I used to sleep in here with you," I said like a smartass.

"Just because you don't remember it, doesn't mean it wasn't there," she said while making her movements more purposeful.

"Exactly," I said while probing her with my aching cock.

I grabbed her hand and placed it on my hardness and guided her so she was stroking me. "Charlie said 'no funny business'," she protested.

"I don't find anything funny about this."

"Just remember that Benny is sleeping right there, and my brother and father aren't much further."

"I don't want to remember that, I just want to fuck you until you scream out and beg me to stop."

"Oh really?" she said with heightened interest as she completely took over stroking me. "Well, that's going to have to wait for a different venue. But if you want to keep fucking my hand, go right ahead."

I growled quietly, and then rolled on top of her. After removing our clothes and thrusting into her, I realized that I overlooked an important detail. The damn bed squeaked like a fucking freight train. At that point however, I couldn't really stop, so I just decided that if everyone was going to hear, might as well make it worth it. Benny was a heavy sleeper, so I wasn't worried about him, but the rest were just going to have to deal. I pounded into her hard, and she clawed her hands down my back, which just forced me to go that much faster.

After we both came explosively, Bella pinched me.

"Ow, what the hell was that for?" I asked while panting, although, I kind of liked her inflicted pain at that moment.

And then there was pounding on the wall. "Shut the hell up!" Charlie yelled.

"That's why," Bella said in a scolding tone.

"What?" I asked with faux innocence. Yeah, I knew exactly what I was doing, but I didn't care.

She pretended to be upset for another moment, but then she smiled and rested her head against my chest.

Bella and I had our ups and downs over the past several months, but every argument ended with hot passionate love making. Never during any of our fights, even the more serious ones, did either of us ever worry that the other was going to leave. It felt good taking each other for granted, and the makeup sex was always worth the argument ahead of time.

Right after Benny was born, we started having sex again practically right away, and it wasn't until the following weeks when she skipped her period, that we realized that our stupidity didn't end with our surprise love child Benny. We were scared that she had gotten pregnant so quickly, but it turned out to be a false alarm. Thank god. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved my little man more than anything, but we weren't ready for baby number two just yet. Bella immediately called Dr. Cullen and asked for some birth control because neither of us wanted to worry about condoms.

Her being on the birth control pill, was a win-win all the way around. Sex anytime anywhere, and we didn't have to worry about any surprises. Although, perhaps if we had to mess with condoms, I would have kept my senses and stayed quiet during our most recent love session, and Bella wouldn't be forced with the embarrassment of facing her father and brother in the morning.

"Good morning," Charlie grumbled as he came down the stairs. Bella and I were used to waking up early with Benny, so we were up before everyone else.

"Morning," Bella said uncomfortably.

Charlie kissed Benny on the head before getting some coffee.

He knew what we were doing the night before, and we knew that he knew, but we didn't comment on it.

"Big day, huh?" Bella said, trying to make small talk.

"You know me, I'd much rather go fishing than have a huge party, but it's important to Sue, so," he shrugged.

"Thanks for the sound effects last night, Butt Munch!" Emmett said to me as he came barreling down the stairs.

"It's not my fault the bed squeaks," I said.

"True. You really need new furniture in here Pops," Em agreed. Charlie ignored him, preferring to move past the subject.

Sue arrived and she immediately handed Em and I a shopping list.

"What's this?" Em asked bitterly.

"Last minute stuff," she said, dismissing his obvious discontent with having to go shopping.

"Come on bro, let's go," he said to me.

"Why can't you go shopping by yourself?"

"Because, if I'm going down by the crazy ass locals here, so are you."

"Da da da DA! ," Benny yelled as we headed to the door.

"You want to come with us, Buddy?" I asked him. He nodded so I took him over to Bella to kiss him goodbye.

"We don't need any stinking girls, right dude?" Emmett said to Benny in a deep manly voice. Benny, of course, laughed. Emmett always made Benny laugh, but I was convinced it was just because they were on the same level intellectually and understood one another.

I followed my son around the produce section, as Emmett shopped for the fresh fruit that was on Sue's list. The little booger picked up everything and tried to eat it, so I had to keep taking things out of his hands, which just pissed him off until something else would get his attention.

"Oh my god, Edward Masen!" a distinct female voice sounded behind me. I turned to see Heidi standing there.

"Heidi," I greeted her. "How are you?" I asked hesitantly. She was my first ever girlfriend, and although I had no hard feelings towards her, I still didn't feel like holding a conversation.

"Good, but not as good as you. Oh my god, he looks just like you," she said while looking at my son.

"Uh, yeah, he's my mini me."

"Are you married?"

"No, but hopefully soon."

"Hopefully?" she asked confused.

"Well, it's just getting her to say yes," I said, and then decided I was done talking. I really had no desire to see anyone from my past, besides the Swans, so I made up an excuse and took Benny to the toy aisle. I wasn't sure how many people in that town knew the truth about Bella, but I wasn't going to get into it with anyone either, so conversations about my son's mother were off limits.

After picking up a few more things off the list, we were finally able to leave. We paid for the stuff, and then headed out to the car.

"Edward?" shit. My father was standing in our path to the car, and I had no way to avoid him. I really hated small fucking towns.

"Mr. Masen," Emmett greeted him politely.

"Mr. Swan," he returned the courtesy, but never took his eyes off my son in my arms. "You're a father?"

I really wanted to put Benny in Emmett's arms and tell him to drive away with him, but I wasn't a little kid anymore, and I refused to still be afraid of the frail old man.

"Yeah," I said coldly.

My father smiled awkwardly. "What's his name?"

"Ben."

My father nodded. "I always knew you'd name your son after him."

At least I knew my father had no idea the truth about Bella.

"Well, we should be going," I said and decided to hand Benny over to Emmett after all.

"Are you married?" he asked as I was about to leave.

"No."

"Engaged?"

"No."

"Can you bring him by our old house, I'd really like to get a chance to hold him."

"He's almost one dad; he doesn't like being held like a baby by total strangers. If you had been around when I was that age, you would have known that kids his age were like that."

"Edward, please; I messed up son. Don't you know what it's like to make a horrible mistake?"

"Yeah I do, but I don't have it in me to be all forgiving with you at the moment," I said dryly and then got in the car.

"Are you ok?" Emmett asked me as he started driving away from the store.

"Yeah, fine."

"Maybe you should hear him out. I mean, look where your lack of ability to forgive almost got you."

"Bella and my father are two very different people with entirely different circumstances. I have no desire to go there with him."

"Okay, but maybe he's changed; that's all I'm saying."

I shook my head and tried to move past the encounter. It was only nine am and I already ran into two people who I wished I hadn't, and I just knew the party was sure to have tons more meetings just like them. I decided then to just spend the day doing nothing but chasing my son around. No one was going to the party to see me.

When we got back to the house, Sue put us right back to work, hanging decorations and putting out a bunch of pictures of Charlie at work over the years.

"How'd he do at the store?" Bella asked me as I was hanging a streamer. She had her arms wrapped around my waist, so it was hard to do my job properly. I let go of the streamer and grabbed onto her for a kiss.

"Benny did great; I just wish I could say the same about me."

"Uh oh, who'd you run into?" she asked knowingly.

"Two guesses," I said with a grimace.

"James?"

"No. Thank god."

"Your dad?"

"Yeah. That prick wanted to hold Benny."

"Did you let him?"

"No. why the hell would I let that man anywhere near my son?"

"Maybe he's changed."

"You and Emmett are more alike than you know," I said with a grin, but then got serious again. "No, I just don't want him anywhere near Benny. Even when he was sober, he was still a bigot prick."

"That's true."

"So, on top of him, as if seeing him wasn't enough, I ran into Heidi too."

"Heidi? As in Heidi your very first girlfriend, the chick who you used to make me spy on with you, at the public pool?"

I laughed at the memory. "If it makes you feel better, you are way hotter than she ever was. I was a child; my tastes didn't have time to mature. I'd take you with short hair and in guy clothes over her any day."

"Yeah right," she said sarcastically.

"Yeah, I know I'm right."

"No, you're a smartass," she said with a giggle.

"Smart, with a nice ass…I'll take it, thanks babe," I said before kissing her and going back to work hanging streamers.

"Well, the 'nice ass' part is right," she muttered, and then she crouched down. I wasn't paying attention to what she was doing, but then there was a pain in my ass.

"Did you just bite me?" I asked incredulously.

"Oh yeah, because you taste so fucking delicious."

"Oh, you're lucky people are around, because later when they're not, I'm going to pound you so fucking hard that you'll be limping afterwards," I said playfully.

"Promise?"

"You really are a freak, you know that?"

"Yes. But since you're the only guy I've ever had sex with, you have no one to blame but yourself."

"True," I agreed.

A little while later people started arriving, so I did my best to try to be invisible. A few people noticed me, who knew me as a child, and they said hello politely, but for the most part, people tended to leave me alone. I got into a lot of trouble as a teen, so many of Charlie's colleagues knew me as 'trouble', so not many had any desire to make small talk with me, which I was happy about.

Charlie introduced Bella as his daughter, but only his closest friends would care enough to question it, but most of them already knew.

We lucked out and it was actually a sunny day, so I took Benny out to the yard to play on the little playground Charlie put up for him. We were only out there for about ten minutes though, when people started getting the hint that it was actually nice out and started wandering back there to join us. It wasn't that I was completely antisocial, but I was just feeling anxious and I really didn't want to be around the crowd.

"Ma ma!" Benny yelled when Bella came out with Rose.

"Hey baby," she said and scooped him up. "Oh, look how dirty you are."

"Yeah, well the slide was still a little wet," I said and couldn't help but grin knowing I'd have to leave the party to change him.

"You let him go on the slide?" she asked concerned.

"Yeah….why?"

"Isn't he kind of young for that?"

"No way. Besides I was holding on to him."

"I'll go change him," Rose offered and reached for him. I was about to protest, but Benny was already reaching back for her, so I let him go to her. Fuck. I was really hoping for a reason to hide for a few minutes.

"Bella, look who's here," Charlie said with a smile, as he walked out of the house with that tanned freak. "You remember Jacob, right?"

"Of course, hey man," she said.

"Hey man? Is that the best greeting you have for me?" Jake said smugly and then he fucking did something I never expected. He wrapped his arms around her and spun her around like they were old best friends. "How have you been, you look amazing? I always knew you'd be one fucking hot chick."

What the fuck?

"Uh…" she was about to answer him, but then he turned to look at me.

"Holy shit, Edward Masen. How are you man?"

I just stared at him. How the hell was he so peachy about Bella being Bella? He said he 'always knew'? I was fucking boiling.

Bella was radiating with discomfort, and she kept glancing at me guiltily as the freak was talking casually about his lame life.

I had enough. I needed to walk away before I snapped, so without a word, I walked through the gate, out of the yard.

I didn't know what to think, but I knew I was angry. What the hell did Jacob mean about all that shit?

"Edward, where are you going?" Bella said as she followed me down the street.

"For a walk!" I yelled without looking back.

"Look, I can explain that," she said, refusing to give me some space.

"Ok, yes, please do explain why that idiot seems to have known the truth about you for a hall of a lot longer than me," I said bitterly.

"I told him," she said quietly.

"When?"

"Before I left to live with Alice."

"He knew when we were fucking kids?" I asked heatedly.

"When we were teens, yes."

I shook my head incredulously. "What the fuck Bella?"

"It was after I kissed you. You left, and I just felt…alone. Jacob was there, and…."

"And what? Did you fuck him?"

"How could you even ask me that?" she said heatedly. "You know damn well that I have never been with anyone but you!"

"Yeah, you were technically a virgin, but you sure seemed like you knew what you were doing when you sucked my dick. Maybe you practiced on him."

And then, she punched me.

"You fucking jerk," she said and stormed back to the house, leaving me standing there with a bloody lip. A part of me was smug by the fact that she didn't bitch slap me the way most women would do, my girl was tough and I loved that. But that was only a small part, the rest of me was pissed and I felt completely fucking betrayed.

I could understand that she didn't tell me back then because she was scared and didn't know how to tell anyone. But knowing she told that fucker, who she knew I hated, just really hurt. I was so angry that I was actually shaking from it. It was fuming inside of me, and I needed to find a way to release the pressure, so I punched the closest tree, which just ended up hurting me ever more.

I hated fucking Forks.

*This was just the first part, more Forks drama ahead. I know everyone might be pissed at Edward for his behavior, but remember how he overreacts without thinking. He's really just hurting and doesn't know how to handle that emotion.

There will be NO affair, so don't worry about Heidi. She will be back in the story, but has nothing to do with having sex with Edward.

*Please Review.