Chapter 21: Lake Laogai

Zuko's POV:

Zuko was strolling down the streets of Ba Sing Se, barely noticing where his feet were leading him, as he tried to make sense of everything. He had never felt more vulnerable in his life, and he hated the feeling. He knew that he was lost for Kira, and that he would do anything for her, and he hated her for making him feel like this. What right did she have to make him fall in love with her? What right did she have to rule his heart?

She was nothing, no one. And yet she was everything to him. Agni, why did this have to happen to me?, he wondered.

Love was the last thing he wanted to think about now. They were finally making a living in Ba Sing Se, and even though he hated to be a refugee and he missed his home and the luxuries of the Royal Palace, they had finally found peace. But noo, Kira had to tear everything apart by falling in love with him and making him fall in love with her too. He blamed her for stealing his heart.

Zuko stopped for a moment to get some air and try to cool down.

He bit his lower lip. What was he going to do now? He didn't want to face Kira, he didn't want to see her teary face and her beautiful eyes, he didn't want to listen to her soft voice. But he would have to return to the apartment sooner or later. Maybe he'd have a word with his Uncle. Maybe Uncle could help him clear the mess Kira had made of him.

As he was thinking this, a piece of paper flew by, and he caught it instinctively. He eyed it, trying to find something to distract him from his disturbing thoughts, and he did. The flyer said something about a flying bison… Now where had he seen a flying – The Avatar!

Zuko quickly turned around the corner, getting in a small alleyway, and he climbed up the windows until he reached the roof of a house, and he scanned the city around him.

He didn't see any trace of the Avatar, but he saw many flyers still floating down to the ground, which meant the bald kid had probably just flown over and thrown those papers. Zuko grinned. This was exactly what he needed! He hadn't lost everything yet. If he found out where the bison was, he could use it to lure the Avatar into a trap and take him to his father, and he would regain his honor, his birthright and his throne.

And he would get away from Kira.

He jumped down the roof and ran through the maze of streets to the apartment, looking for his Blue Spirit disguise. He would make things right. He couldn't afford to lose this chance.

Kira's POV:

I walked through the streets around the tea shop for an hour, trying to find Zuko, but he had disappeared. My heart was broken once again, and now I was mad at myself for coming up with that song. Clearly Zuko would freak out, what was I thinking?

I was still immersed in my internal debate when I returned to the shop, and I entered to see Iroh talking to a big broad-shouldered man, while the tea shop owner was standing next to Iroh, his face a mask of fear. He was talking to Iroh, his voice betraying a hint of despair. 'Mushi, if you stay, I will make you Assistant Manager. Wait, Senior Assistant Manager'

'I'll provide you with a new apartment in the upper ring. The Tea Shop is yours to do whatever you want. Complete creative freedom' the big man chimed in.

Wait, they were offering Iroh his own tea shop?

Iroh considered for just a second. 'Do I get to name the shop?'

'Of course!'

Iroh's face lit up in a radiant smile, and Pao's became white like paper. 'Uh, Senior Executive Assistant Manager?' he pleaded, but Iroh had made up his mind. He spun around and placed the teapot in Pao's hands, who walked away, shoulders down, looking defeated.

I approached Iroh, smiling, a questioning look in my eyes.

'Did you hear, daughter? This man wants to give us our own tea shop in the upper ring of the city!' he said excitedly.

'That's right, young lady' the rich man confirmed gravely. 'Your life is about to change for the better'

My smile widened, and I felt happy for Iroh. He deserved this.

Iroh bowed and the man imitated him before leaving the shop.

'Congratulations, Iroh!' I said, hugging him.

'Thank you, my dear' he answered, returning the hug. And then he broke it and he held me at arm length, to examine me. 'Have you found him?'

I shook my head, as I looked down dejectedly.

'Well, don't worry. He has to come home sooner or later, and I'll be there waiting for him' he assured me.

Then he removed the apron. 'We have nothing more to do here, why don't we go home?'

I grimaced. 'I'm gonna go and try to find Zuko. If I can't find him, I'll return home at sunset'

Iroh stared at me, a look of concern in his golden eyes. 'Very well, but be careful'

I nodded and left the shop again. I wasn't going to waste time in getting changed, I'd return the dress to Pao in the morning.

I roamed the city for the whole day, but there was no trace of Zuko. I returned home at sunset, as I had promised, feeling more depressed than ever, and I was surprised to find Iroh waiting for me, not with tea but holding the black suit I had purchased a week ago. I had bought it just in case, because it never occurred to me I'd have to go chase after Zuko, plus that he'd be wearing his Blue Spirit costume.

But apparently that's what had happened tonight, from what Iroh explained. He had noticed Zuko was pretty upset, and he feared he'd do something wrong. He said Zuko had found a flyer in which the Avatar asked for information about his flying bison. I gaped at that. How had he become separated from Appa? From what little I knew about Aang, he adored his bison.

Iroh said Zuko wanted to find Appa and use him to capture the Avatar. I bit my lip nervously. Just when I thought he'd be over his obsession, it had returned stronger than ever. Iroh feared Zuko would stir up trouble.

I did not hesitate a single second.

'We must go after him'

He grinned. 'I knew I could count on you'

'You can always count on me, Iroh' I said as I snatched the black suit from his hands and went to the bedroom to get changed.

Minutes later we were on the streets, and Iroh said he'd seen Zuko take a southern direction from the window of the apartment, and the best part, he had left less than five minutes before I arrived home, which meant we could still catch up with him. I paid attention to every noise as we scurried deeper and deeper into Ba Sing Se.

Suddenly I heard people talking ahead of me, and I hurried forward. One block ahead there was a group of people surrounding two Dai Li agents, all of them dressed in what looked like their pajamas and holding lamps.

'I tell you, it was the Blue Spirit!' an old man was saying insistently.

'I saw him run by my window, five minutes ago!' a lady said.

I signaled Iroh to stay behind, and I approached the complaining neighbors as stealthily as I could. Then there was the rustling sound of feet running our way, and another Dai Li officer appeared from around the corner behind me.

'It's him, he ambushed me!' the agent said, and the other two Dai Li rushed towards him, pushing the neighbors aside. Fortunately I was the closest person to the Dai Li, and I managed to catch a whisper from the agent that had just appeared. 'He asked for the bison. He's going to Lake Laogai. We must warn the boss'

I grinned to myself, and as the Dai Li ran away the citizens followed them, complaining aloud about the safety of the city and the effectiveness of the secret police. I sneaked the other way around and gave a small detour to find Iroh.

'I know where he's headed' I whispered to Iroh, and I directed our steps south, remembering the maps of the city I'd studied when we had just arrived. I knew there was a large lake within the outer wall of the Ba Sing Se, and I was pretty sure the name of it was Laogai.

Iroh and I sneaked our way out of the main city, and as we reached the top of a small hill, behind which I guessed we'd find the lake, we saw the clear calm water, and I thanked Yue for the bright moonlight that illuminated our steps.

As we stared into the lake, I saw a tiny figure climbing up another hill at our right. I signaled Iroh to follow me and we went after his steps, closing up the distance quickly. At a certain moment, Iroh stepped on a small branch and it cracked, and the figure ahead froze and looked over his shoulder, and as I crouched behind a bush and Iroh did the same, I spotted the distinctive demonic markings of the Blue Spirit mask.

Zuko must have been really anxious to get here to be so reckless, I guessed. Because if he had been as careful as I knew he could be, he would have spotted us long before we saw him and he would have hidden, and we'd never have found him.

But now, after a minute of careful scanning of the land around him, he resumed his climbing of the slope.

He seemed to know exactly where he was going, for he stopped at a certain point of the hill and firebended at one particular spot, where he blasted a hole on the wall and disappeared through it. When we reached it, we saw a large tunnel that led underground. I created a block of ice with water from the lake and Iroh and I covered it with dirt to make it look like stone, and then we entered the tunnel and I moved the block of ice over the opening, as we scurried in.

We quickly picked up Zuko's trail, following his footsteps on the mud that had accumulated on the tunnels for what seemed like many years; and that was the only way we avoided getting lost down there. It was a maze of tunnels, that formed a complicated structure. Peeking inside some of the rooms, I saw the Dai Li were washing people's brains.

Or at least that's what it looked like, because there were about a dozen women in one tiny room and all their eyes were dilated as they repeated what a Dai Li agent said word by word.

I bit my lip, wishing I could do something, but I knew that even the Avatar would have a hard time stopping the entire operation, so I forced myself to move on. Horrible as all that was, I had one main concern now and it was Zuko.

We finally caught up with Zuko, and we saw him entering a chamber. Iroh and I sneaked all the way up to the door, and I heard a low familiar rumble.

'Appa!' I gasped, and when we opened the door, we saw Zuko's silhouette before the huge flying bison.

Zuko quickly unsheathed his katanas as he turned around to face us, but he lowered them when he saw it was Iroh and me.

'Uncle! Kira!'

'So, the Blue Spirit' Iroh said, feigning puzzlement. 'I wonder who could be behind that mask'

Then Zuko removed his mask. 'What are you doing here?'

Iroh answered before I had the chance to. 'I was just about to ask you the same thing. What do you plan to do now that you have found the Avatar's bison? Keep it locked in our new apartment? Should I go put on a pot of tea for him?'

'First I have to get it out of here' Zuko replied, his eyes fixed on Appa.

'And then what?' Iroh shouted. I stepped back, staring at him stunned. I had never seen him lose his temper like that before, not even when he had tried to snap me out of my depression when Zuko had left. 'You never think these things through!' he accused Zuko, who gritted his teeth. 'This is exactly what happened when you captured the Avatar at the North Pole! You had him, and then you had nowhere to go!'

Woow, they hadn't briefed me on that one.

'I would have figured something out!' Zuko retorted, but Iroh had lost his patience.

'NO! If his friends hadn't found you, you would have frozen to death!'

'I know my own destiny, Uncle' Zuko muttered, evidently anguished. I noticed his fists were clenched, and I realized Iroh's words were falling deep into him. I was unsure of what to do. I wouldn't let him hurt Appa, but I was in love with him, and watching that torture in his eyes was killing me as well.

'Is it your own destiny, or is it a destiny someone has tried to force on you?' Iroh insisted.

'Stop it, Uncle. I have to do this' Zuko replied, tormented.

I rushed forward and stood in front of him, staring intensely into his golden eyes, as I grabbed his arms. 'Please, Zuko. You know what's the right thing to do. I know you know. You're not this person, this is not like you! I can see in your eyes what you're going through and I know you're confused, so please listen to us!' I begged, but his gaze became ever more pained with my words as he gently pushed me aside.

'You don't understand' he muttered.

I grabbed his shoulder. 'No, precisely, I do understand! Do you think I don't care about you? Do you think I like doing this? Do you think I enjoy watching you suffer? I love you, Zuko! I love you, and I want what's best for you! And trust me, this is not the best way! You know this as well as I do!' I confessed, and his face contorted with pain, but he looked aside.

'I am begging you Prince Zuko!' Iroh insisted furiously behind us. 'It's time for you to look inward, and begin asking yourself the big questions: who are you and what do you want'

Then Zuko cried out in frustration, releasing his arms from my grip, and he hurled his katanas on the ground. A deep silence filled the cave, as he panted and Iroh and I waited, expectant.

Then he drew a deep breath and picked the katanas up, as he walked towards Appa. I gasped, and hurried forward, as the huge bison stepped back in fear of the swords, but then Zuko spun around and cut the chains. Then I stopped, right behind him, and Iroh and I watched in silence, as he released the bison, who set off immediately after seeing his chains severed. He vanished through the ceiling, and Zuko stood there, head and shoulders down, frozen and looking defeated.

I walked up to him, and stepped in front of him. He did not react, and then I hugged him. 'I am proud of you' I whispered, and his arms wrapped around me.

Then he broke the hug, and he stared at me, and I could see the torment inside his beautiful eyes, as he tried to explain himself to me.

'I…'

I felt an immense pity for him, as I realized he was still confused about his feelings and that he needed guidance. I placed my finger on his lips. 'You don't have to say anything until you're sure of it. Now we should go'

He gave me a grateful look and I pulled from his hand, dragging him out of the chamber. Then we sneaked our way out of the underground fortress, and appeared on what seemed like a long dock that I hadn't seen before, when we had arrived at the lake.

I looked at the sky and saw it was barely past dawn, and the sun was rising on the east, and we could all see the shape of a huge animal flying away on the sunlight, with people on its back.

I smiled, thinking how glad Aang must have been to recover his hairy friend, and then I turned back to Zuko and Iroh. Zuko was holding the Blue Spirit mask on his hand, and he was staring at it.

Iroh rested a hand on his shoulder.

'You did the right thing, nephew. Leave it behind'

Then Zuko walked to the edge and dropped the mask into the lake, looking afflicted. I realized that this gesture was very similar to what he had done when he had cut his ponytail. Once again he was resigning everything he had known, and any chance he had of returning home to his father sank down in the placid waters of Lake Laogai, alongside his alter-ego.

I walked to him after some seconds, and grabbed his hand. He turned to face me, and I saw a tiny smile beginning to form on his face, as he squeezed my hand in appreciation of my support.

We returned to our apartment in complete silence, though I never let go of Zuko's hand. When we entered, Iroh tried to reassure Zuko of his choice.

'You did the right thing, letting the Avatar's bison go free'

But Zuko suddenly snatched his hand from mine to take it to his head. I looked at him and I suddenly noticed his brow was covered in sweat and he was pale as a ghost. 'I don't feel right' he mumbled, and then he collapsed right into my arms.

'Zuko!'

Iroh ran to my side, and we carried Zuko to his bed, and Iroh removed his clothes, as I pressed a hand to his forehead, and I noticed with alarm his temperature was really high.

'He's burning!'

I immediately drew water from my waterbag and pressed my hands with water on his forehead, but Iroh placed a hand on my arm.

'No. Let him sweat this off.'

'But…'

'You can't help him now. His mind is in conflict, and the metamorphosis will take some time'

'What?' I asked, confused, not looking at him, focusing my entire attention in Zuko, who was unconscious and now bare-chested. My heart seemed to ignite in love for him, and it pained me to see the strong Prince I had fallen in love with, so vulnerable. I'd protect him. I'd take care of him.

Iroh gently pulled my hands off Zuko, and as I turned to look at him he stared at me intensely.

'Let him go' he said softly. I let him take my hands off Zuko, as the tears began to roll down my face.

'What's happening to him, Iroh?'

'He needs to process his decision. He only needs you to stay at his side, and make sure he has enough blankets and water to drink when he awakens'

'I'll do that' I said determinedly. 'Why don't you go arrange everything about the new tea shop with Quon? I'll take good care of him'

'I don't doubt it' Iroh said with a smile, and then he left through the door.

I arranged the cushions around Zuko, trying to make him as comfortable as possible, and put the teapot on the fire, trying to be patient and wait for him to get better, ignoring the complaints of my heart, which was urging me to go and lay at his side, and ignore Iroh's advice.

Soon enough, he began to toss around and moan, and I placed some water on his forehead, trying to calm him down.

'You have an intense fever, my love' I whispered, though I couldn't know if he was listening. 'I hope this helps cool you down'

'So thirsty…' he mumbled, and his eyes flashed open as he tried to sit up, blinking several times, as if he couldn't see well. I gently pushed him back down.

'Here you have' I said, supporting his shoulders as I waterbended clean water from a bucket I had filled earlier on at his mouth. His skin was burning hot and trickling with sweat. 'Iroh says you need to stay under the blankets and sweat this out'

He drank all the water eagerly, and when I stopped he spotted the bucket next to me. He reached out and gulped down the whole bucket, splashing some on his bare chest. Then he tossed it aside, as he settled down, coughing.

'Oh, Zuko' I mumbled in concern, as I lovingly tucked him into bed.

Shortly afterwards, he stopped shivering and darted into deep sleep, his breath steady. I touched his forehead, noticing he was still burning, but he seemed to be processing it on his dreams.

For a brief moment I wondered if I'd show up in his dreams, since he was definitely a large part of mine.

I lay down at his side, tenderly brushing his damp hair from his peaceful face, and once again admiring the line of his jaw and his long eyelashes.

At nightfall, Iroh returned, with a large grin on his face, that faded when he saw Zuko was still sick.

I was preparing some tea, waiting for him, but paying close attention to Zuko's every move. Iroh sighed as he kneeled beside the sleeping prince, and he placed his hand on his forehead.

'It will take some more time' he muttered under his breath. I gave him a cup of tea, and kneeled down at Zuko's other side.

Zuko seemed to sense his uncle's presence, for he began to toss and moan again, and then he opened his eyes. Iroh poured another cup of tea.

'You should know this is not a natural sickness. But that shouldn't stop you from enjoying tea', he said softly, and I rushed forward to hold Zuko's head as he drank.

Then he turned his gaze to me, and grabbed my hand, confused.

'What… what's happening…?' he asked feebly, disorientated. I gently kissed his temple, while Iroh explained.

'Your critical decision, what you did beneath that lake… It was in such conflict with your image of yourself, that you are now at war within your own mind and body'

'What does that mean?' Zuko replied, still lost, and he collapsed in my arms in a fit of coughing.

'You're going through a metamorphosis, my nephew. It will not be a pleasant experience, but when you come out of it, you will be the beautiful Prince you were always meant to be' and then he mopped Zuko's forehead with a damp cloth. I gently lay his head back in the pillow, and drew some water to cool down his forehead.

Zuko seemed to relish the cold water, for he sighed and his face relaxed a little, his breath steadying up as he fell asleep again.

Iroh placed a hand on my shoulder. 'You should go to sleep too. He will be fine, and you haven't moved away from him a single second'

I gently shoved his hand off. 'Thanks Iroh, but I'm not leaving him. I can't'

'He will need you to be alright when he wakes up' he pointed out.

I looked at him over my shoulder. 'I appreciate your concern, Iroh, but I'll be just fine'

Iroh raised one eyebrow, but withdrew from the room and left me alone with Zuko. I maintained the water on his forehead until his face began to regain some color. Then I removed the water and touched his forehead. His temperature was falling. I sighed, and kissed his temple again.

'You'll feel better in the morning, I promise' I whispered, as I settled some cushions around me to get comfortable for the night, since I didn't plan to sleep. I watched Zuko sleep for hours. At a particular moment he sprang up with a scream, panting, his eyes wide. I leaned closer to him and touched his forehead, sensing he was still warm. He jolted back, frightened, but relaxed when he recognized my face, and then he took a hand to his face, feeling his scar.

'Are you okay?' I asked him, shifting closer to him as I stared at him with concern.

'Just a nightmare' he mumbled, almost to himself, and without another word he lay down again, turning his back on me.

I remained on my spot, unsure of what to do, but he fell asleep again as quickly as he had awakened, and after a few minutes of listening to his steady breath, I retreated over my cushions, watching him.

Suddenly I heard a noise, and I opened my eyes, realizing with immense guilt that it was morning and I had fallen asleep.

Zuko groaned low as he stretched out, fixing his golden eyes on me. I was at his side in a second.

'How are you feeling?'

And then suddenly his arms were around my waist and he pulled from me, making me fall on top of him. Then he rolled us over until he was on top of me, and he gave me a devilish smile.

'Never been better'

And then he leaned in and deposited a soft kiss on my lips. I closed my eyes, feeling my heart go wild with emotions. When he broke up I opened my eyes, staring at him incredulously. His lovely amber eyes were filled with passion, but not raw passion like the night he had pinned me against the wall, but passion mixed with affection.

'I love you' he whispered, and I realized with a start that that was what love looked like in someone's eyes.

I laughed shortly, not daring to believe my senses. 'The fever's making you delirious' I said, taking my hand to his forehead. But he grabbed my hand before I could touch him.

'No, I just feel…' he drew a long breath, closing his eyes. 'Better'

'I'm glad' I whispered softly, and then he looked at me and his eyes were full of love again, as he leaned in to kiss me again. But this time the kiss was longer and more intense, and he seemed to savor all of it. When the beating of my heart threatened to deafen me, I gently pushed him away.

'Iroh must have made breakfast. We shouldn't make him wait' I said.

Zuko smiled, the largest and warmest smile I had ever seen on his face.

'You're right'