Note: ...my apologies. It's been almost -two- years, I know. Hopefully, this will not become a waste of your time. It is a gloomy chapter, you may skip to the next one if you wish. The next chapter is actually another ending to the story, completely unrelated. That's just like having option 1 or option 2. Enjoy!
Ending I: Fate
The world is a blur. The fact that L is no longer in the way is jubilating beyond belief. Yet there is a type of pain that goes with it. It is like the first breath drawn after being held underwater against one's will, just before the person passes into unconsciousness. It is sweet air and burning lungs, wanting to laugh and cry at the same instant.
L's warm body is still held tightly in Raito's arms. He is definitely not moving. Raito is howling in sadistic ecstasy, though others deem him as losing control.
"Ryuuzaki! Wake up! Ryuuzaki! No!"
Of course, no words from the detective for he has passed beyond the world of the living. Those long dark lashes lay serenely against his pale cheeks, eyes closed in a rare projection of a deep slumber. The calm face. In eternal peace. Even in his final moment, L has defied Kira in appearing to be asleep and not demising in the painful death that had been dealt to him unexpectedly; nevertheless, he had seen it coming and it was all a matter of timing.
"Ahh! No!" Raito continues his despicable charade, shamelessly holding the still body. "We could be next!"
Matsuda slips and falls while backing away rapidly in terror, crossing his arms over his skull as if that would offer a magical protection against all evil. The faces of the other men visibly pale upon hearing the unfounded assumption.
The ominous line of red text continues to blink while the men count their forty seconds in mute panic. Nothing happens. Are they safe for now?
Raito has his jaws locked, to keep away inappropriate expressions. He lets a measured amount of controlled fury to enter his words as he speaks, "I will not rest until I have Kira in my hands, to avenge Ryuuzaki's death, and for all he has done.."
The student bows his head solemnly as he gently lays L's unmoving form on the floor. He takes both of his bony wrists and arranges his cool hands over his silent heart. It may seem like a touching gesture, but in fact, it is only to make sure the detective is truly dead.
In a low voice, the youth throws out an empty promise, "Rest well, my friend. We will all commit ourselves towards bringing Kira to justice. You can be sure of it."
The supposedly dejected youth stands up slowly to face the rest of the investigation team with an inscrutable expression. Anger? Sadness? Determination? A mixture of all and something more. He has just lost a friend that had been literally inseparable for the past few months. How should one react to that? He is too young and sheltered to be personally involved in such an event. Feeling the life seeping out of someone.. not just someone.. L.. a person he has cared for and even loved. He has allowed this to happen.
I didnot write his name. Raito denies the guilt that threatens to march in. He is within a bubble that feels nothing and he desperately holds on, afraid to slip, afraid to feel. Kira doesn't slip. Kira is god. He should be able to control everything, right? The imaginery bubble is shielding him, barring his wavering emotions from advancing. He is cold and blank inside. L has taken the warmth from him. The loss eventually manifests its unwelcome presence on his face.
That is why Yagami-san doesn't object when his son suggests quite strongly that they should search Misa's apartment immediately, to fulfill Ryuuzaki's last standing request. Searching any premises without a warrant is illegal. Since he is no longer with the police, he figures they could bend around the rules. Surprisingly, Aizawa-san agrees to the search as well. Actually seeing a victim a few feet away can change someone's perception completely.
They discover Watari's cold body at the front walkway of the apartment complex, partially hidden among the green bushes. A cell phone is in a death grip within his fist. His grimace has been etched permanently onto his pale face. It mustn't have been very pleasant when he drew his last breath. It is a puzzle then why Ryuuzaki should appear so natural in his eternal sleep. Raito wonders about it too.
The doorbell sings. Misa tenses. There is nothing scheduled in the morning. Who would be looking for her this early? When a muffled voice rings out from the front door, she bounces up with over brimming joy. It's her love coming to visit!
She throws on a bathrobe and checks the mirror for her pretty reflection. She must appear the best for him. After picking up an item from her vanity table, she heads out to the hallway and hesitates when she hears other low voices mingled beyond the front door.
Cautiously, she peers through the hole of the door to see everyone there, minus Ryuuzaki. That means Raito's plan is working!
"Raito! Misa Misa has missed you!" The team enters without preamble and the blonde model has clung herself onto the annoyed brunet. His annoyance transforms to astonishment as her arms slither around inside his jacket to touch his back. The others barely pay them much attention. This is an everyday occurrence of Misa moments when Raito is around.
"Misa, not now." Raito commands sternly as he disengages from the suffocating embrace. "We have important work to do."
"Misa Misa is not important?" The girl pouts, hurt that he is ignoring her significance, after what she has done for him. Ryuuzaki-san is out of the picture, don't they have more time together now?
"Well, we have more important matters on hand. Kira might be striking again. Both Ryuuzaki and Watari..."
Misa's eyes widen in genuine surprise. She thought she would have to put on her professional acting skills. Watari too? The implication is simple and she suddenly realizes the magnitude of the mysterious appearance of an unknown Death Note at her balcony floor. Who else could have sought out a true name of a man besides those with the power of the Eyes? Tears come unbidden again, just as they did earlier this morning.
"Listen to me, Misa. We are going to search your apartment. It is just a standard procedure. You have nothing to hide so there is nothing to worry about."
Misa nods wordlessly, still submerged in guilty sorrow.
Painstakingly, they cover the rooms and hallways inch by inch, looking in all possible places, searching at impossible locations. Misa owns loads of fashion magazines and it has taken them nearly an hour just to skim through them for the black notebook. They even squint at the ceiling for any incriminating signs of recent cover ups. Nothing.
At late afternoon, their full attention is turned to Misa. She is still in her lacy lingerie and bathrobe.
"I suppose we need to search you, Misa."
"Are you doing the searching, Raito?" The blonde crosses her arms uneasily. She is the only female here..
"No, I can't. My words will be biased because of my relationship to you." Misa feels warm and cold at the same time. Warm because he openly admits they are a couple and cold when that implies he is willing to let another man paw on her. Is this what it means to love a god?
Being her former manager, Matsuda has an extraordinary display of a sliver of brilliance, condensed into one sentence: "Misa Misa can wear her bikinis, just like in that photoshoot!"
Others murmur their agreement. It is strictly business, of course.
To prevent Misa from concealing whatever it is she has on her body inside a thoroughly searched room, thus ruining their efforts, Raito accompanies Matsuda to her bedroom to retrieve the proper attire and some towels for her.
Misa is going to strip in the living room. The arrangement is to have full-length towels draping around her like one of those changing closets in a boutique shop while she sheds her own clothing to put on the bikinis. The men would have their backs to her and bending their arms over their shoulders to hold the towels.
This is all for show, obviously. The switch was already completed at the beginning of their visit.
"Misa Misa is all done!" The girl finally announces, already striking a charming pose when the men-circle breaks away.
The aquamire bikinis set compliments her blonde hair and fair creamy skin. The afternoon sun gives a golden hue wherever it lands on her through the slits in the window curtains. She twirls around gracefully, showing there is no possible way to hide a notebook on her.
Raito bends to retrieve her clothing one by one, ensuring everyone is witnessing every move he has made. No notebook.
"This apartment has been combed through, literally. Death Note is not found. Misa was not informed of our visit. Where else could she hide it? Ryuuzaki's hypothesis is inconclusive. The stubborn man.."
The others can sense Raito's focus dispersing into another dimension. He doesn't space out like that. Yagami-san is rather concerned. It must be too much. A friend (and lover) has just died and with a girlfriend on the black list..
"Let's go home, Raito. Misa has been proven innocent once more."
That is precisely what Raito has been waiting for. To conclude the search on his own would no doubt raise questions and challenges to his authority. Who better to nail the coffin than the former police chief? No more suspicions thrown in his way. He has had enough with L.
"I wish to be alone, Father. I will return to the building. To refocus and to salvage the remaining documents for reorganizing our data." Those deep brown eyes look lost. "I need to carry on where Ryuuzaki left off. We all need to.."
The melancholic mood of the lone genius affects them all. They are silent for a minute.
"We are always here for you, Raito. Remember that." The father feels helpless. If Raito needs to work to distract himself from the pain, then that is the only support he could give.
Even Misa is strangely amendable today. She doesn't protest when the group leaves. As one last hope, she gazes longingly at Raito, who barely looks at her when they shut the door.
Outside, they fight against the cooling air of a November evening. Families coming home. Couples going out. Children playing hide-and-seek. It is an innocent Sunday. A restful day. A sad day for all of humanity.
x x x x
Yagami-san has insisted on accompanying Raito on his return trip to their investigation building. More minutes wasted, though Raito doesn't mind the acting. He is the perfect son, so he will continue to show perfection.
Alone at last, he enters the main room to switch off the power, to extinguish the headache-inducing lines of blinking red text. He sits in L's chair, swiveling about in thoughtless silence.
After the initial shock this morning, the team had decided it wasn't a good idea to call the police. It would be dangerous to announce to the world that L is dead. He might be the only being capable of curbing Kira's unorthodox actions, to a certain extent if not to the entirety. That was fine with Raito, since he had the intention to take over the investigation once and for all.
What to do then with the body?
They used the food storage freezer. Those commercial walk-in types, good for food, good for bodies too. L had an insatiable appetite for sweet things. There were mountains of containers, hundreds of cartons, all storing frozen desserts ready to be served at the snap of his fingers (or a push to an intercom button).
Seeing that the shelves were freshly stocked, they had no choice but to let him lie on the floor. It was morbidly fitting, to be surrounded by his favorites. He didn't need flowers. Ice-creams, sorbets, he liked them all. What better to bide him a final farewell than his sweet food? Raito had a horrible time containing his chuckle when that dreadfully amusing thought suddenly crossed his mind, back at the freezer. But he did, without even lifting a muscle on his face.
The room feels empty. The building feels empty. His heart feels empty. Where is the glory? Has L taken it with him?
It is the first night without L, in all senses. This skyscraper might be constructed under L's instructions and, in essence, should be considered his, though when the host is no longer in the centre of it, all that remains is a hollow shell. It is a lifeless building.
Funny that all those weeks he had taken the detective's presence for granted that tonight, of all nights, Raito is missing his company. Very much so.
Perhaps it is not a wise decision to return to this cold building. He should have taken his father's advice and went home. To be around people that care about him. He needs love too, does he not?
Wait, Kira needs love? No, Kira is God. God can control everything. Perhaps not right now, he is simply in a transitional phase. Soon, very soon.
Click. Clickclick. Click. Click. Clickclickclick.
Who's typing?
He is. On eerie automation, his fingers continue to tap on random keys. It used to be rather maddening, when it was L typing. The noise is now a soothing distraction. The room is too quiet. His heart too empty. Only he doesn't realize.
Clickclick. Click. Click.
Raito stops, aghast at his pointless action. What the hell am I doing?
He chuckles for no reason. The volume grows until his mirthless laughter echoes off the steel walls, his abdomen aching, his breaths lacking. His lashes are wet with the force of his empty laughter. The moistness increases to form larger drops. He is silent when the mounting pools of water spill down at last.
Grief catches up like a viscous puddle of black oil. Dark, uncomfortable, suffocating. The imaginary bubble is just that, imaginary. It was nothing to begin with so he has nothing to hold on to. The magnitude of the irrevocable loss surprises him, crushing the breath that he has been holding. Staggering pain pierces through, creating a lumpy throat and supplies of unshed tears.
Raito starts to rest his cheek on the table surface, only to jerk up before actually making contact. This is the exact spot he had successfully seduced L under a week ago. He feels nauseous.
Be practical, Raito! What do you hope to accomplish? The roadblock is gone. Move it! Kira speaks.
He cannot. He is trapped in a human body. Limited with a human brain. Bound by human emotions. Prior to meeting L, Kira had Raito under total control. An innocent boy trying to save the world. A juvenile ambition. He is not doing this for his own gain.
Now, there's no gain but a dead lover.
There is a gain. Trust from the team. It is everything to further your goal. All resources at your disposal. Use them well to direct, or misdirect, for the sake of all humanity. Kira advises.
Did L have to die?
You and I both know. He had to. He was a distraction. You had had your fun. Now back to business. Kira chastises.
Raito has a headache. The day is wearing him down. He needs to rest.
He walks the familiar hallways, lonely stretches of them painted with memories of yesterdays. There is a particular conversation snapshot that is still fresh in his mind.
"It is child's play, really." L stated in a bored tone.
Raito saw red. How dare L belittle his noble mission!
"Yagami-kun, if you delve deeper into it, all that has been going on is name writing and people dying. It is a nuisance that gives no mental satisfaction. Any individual capable of copying letters and characters can have the job."
"Not any individual. No. Having the wrong names can have dire consequences. A strong sense of justice is a prerequisite."
"Ah, and can this sense of justice be replicated perfectly? Perhaps onto the second Kira?" L swept his thumb across his lower lip in that infuriating manner.
"With supervision…"
"But Kira is only human." The detective interrupted blandly. "Surely a deity cannot be caught and is therefore beyond our reach, whereas Kira is physically present in our world with the Death Note as the means of control. Mortals have a limited lifespan. Suppose Kira rules the world, how long would this supervision last? Kira obviously trusts no one but himself. Who would carry on the legacy? Without a doubt, such unnatural power can easily corrupt one's mind, persuading misuse. Who could act as an eternal guardian? Generations of Kira?"
"The world should be cleansed by then." Raito supposed he should be efficient enough to have the world in an orderly fashion and on autopilot by the time he grows old.
L said nothing afterwards. That was unusual. He started it and Raito had expected him to slip in a last word.
He will ask L the next time…
L is dead. Oh.
He stumbles blindly into the bedroom. Their bedroom. And he is comforted by the presence of the dark-haired man. He is blanketed by the strong scent of L. And of his own.
Raito frowns. The man is gone, stop imagining him! He blinks. The plates of cakes and the cup of tea should be served fresh every evening, not scattering on the tea table like that. Their sheets. Still the same ones from last night. No wonder it smells like him. Obviously, Watari wasn't available to tidy up the room.
Never mind. It hurts to think. I need rest.
x x x x
"L? Is that you?"
Silence and darkness.
"Is someone here?"
Raito swears he saw a shadow moving beneath the gap of the bedroom door. He is intrigued rather than worried. Despite the deletion of every single byte from the mainframe, the security system remains unscathed. Of course L would have enough sense to run these two critical systems separately. Whoever is inside the building must be a mutual friend if the nighttime intrusion failed to set off the alarm.
The desire to sleep wears off as he pokes his head out to the hallway. The lights are not even on. After midnight, the hallway lights are activated by ways of motion sensors. When a certain period of inactivity is reached, the power is shut off until the next movement is detected.
No one is here but him. Was I hallucinating? Hold on, L is here too.
Raito's legs carry him to a spot that he dreads but cannot resist visiting. The frozen tomb. His feet lead him there minutes later. His pale blue pajamas offer very little protection from the freezing environment. Goosebumps are everywhere, pulling his skin tight. He starts shaking. From the cold? Possibly more than that. Still, he moves closer to L.
The youth kneels beside the detective, a flood of bottled up feelings is tumbling loose. He had remained stoic for the day, too occupied with acting the innocent he pretended to be. Raito breaks away from Kira's iron clasp and flings himself onto the rigid body, shaking some more as tears swell up around his sorrowful eyes. Tears of loss. Tears of hopelessness.
"L, what will I do without you?" Raito whispers, willing the addressed man to answer him. Delusional wishing. His logical side screams at him to stop the boy-losing-puppy-love nonsense.
Damn you for resting, when I need you the most right now. His silent wailing continues, chest heaving with every cold breath, mourning at a future without L.
L, I've hated you. Yes, I did. You see, you could never trust me when I was telling the truth. You were cocky in believing in your inane theories, holding onto them like diamonds, dismissing facts you deemed of no import. Facts that could readily turn your precious diamonds into nothingness. I've hated you for what you've done to me. How could somebody sane resort to those kinds of methods to force a confession out of an innocent? I curse you to Hell.
He draws a shuddering breath. His heated outburst warming him, numbing him from the freezing air. Wisps of steam are dissipating from his skin.
But you know what, L? I rather enjoyed your company. All my life, I haven't felt the same connection with other people like I did with you. With a word, a look, we'd be thinking the same thing. Only you could understand me so completely. So, you are my first true friend, in a sense. You can do what they are not capable of, and something more. Way beyond my expectations. Beyond my dreams. I actually felt alive!
He buries his face in the soft white sweatshirt and rubs his cheeks against it, helpless. The garment is absorbing his warmth, causing him to imagine the body underneath is warm as well. The cotton wipes his tears away, consoling him the only way it could.
I'm uncertain when it all began. I started to care, which is something I rarely do, and with it came a foreign feeling, a feeling of being 'happy' where you were involved. Maybe the sex started it. Maybe it's those damned syndromes of being cuffed to you. Whatever it was, it grew the more I tried to suppress it. It took my last ounce of courage to make that confession. I was still struggling with the word 'love'. But you wouldn't know now, would you?
"Would you?" The brunet lifts his head, bites back a sob and, on a childish impulse, imprints his warm lips against cold ones, wishing the other man were merely sleeping. He touches the wild nest of raven hair, now the softest part of the man. "I..."
A searing migraine sets in. He has been crying too hard while trying to hold it in. With the many degrees difference in temperature, the chilly air aggravates his symptom, the cold invading, seeping into him. His trembling worsens. Even though he wants to hold on to L, he must leave. It wouldn't do to have the team discovering two corpses in the freezer come morning.
Outside, the air is uncomfortably warm. Burning. He is practically defrosting. He rubs at his temples on his way to the bedroom, hoping to soothe the abused nerves, to coax them into a more peaceful state. It does feel better.
As he sinks into the bed, he vaguely muses he simply had to see L before he could sleep well. It has become a habit. Though he had been alone in the bed before, he has somewhat grown fond of being in the presence of the detective in the evening, like listening to a bedtime story. Otherwise, the day wouldn't be complete.
Goodnight, my love. He drifts off into dreamland, discarding all chaotic thoughts into a dark corner of his mind, to be sorted out the next time he awakes. Kira lurks, waiting, aiming for an opportunity to take over, once and for all.
x x x x
Raito sits up in bed, holding a plastic pack in his hands. The one that Misa gave him when she embraced him that morning prior to the search at her apartment. At least she had enough sense to tuck it in securely at his back before letting go.
The pack is transparent, the type that has a strip of adhesive on the edge that can wrap up a new magazine. There is a loose handful of white powdery substance at the bottom, along with a book identical in size and color with his Death Note. Its cover is plain, pure black. No fancy letters to announce its nature.
His hands tremble in perverse excitement. He realizes this is Rem's notebook. It must contain L's true name. The shinigami was destroyed. That makes sense, for both Watari and L to..
The cameras are not recording. The system has yet to be reprogrammed. He could use this time to start writing names. What's stopping me? Who can stop me? I'm in control now. Total control.
Raito returns the pack under his pillow, almost reverently. His burning desire to learn L's name has vanished completely. Let the man remain an enigmatic letter. To dwell too much on it would drive someone mad. Kira wants Raito to remain as sane as possible.
It is almost time for their gathering. It has become meaningless, to him anyway, unlike their previously relentless pursue for justice. I will give meaning to it soon.
The young man walks the lonely hallways once more, only this time he knows he would not be greeted by a certain someone. His leaden heart feels nothing. There is a curious apathy to his senses, as if the molten lava from the outburst of that fateful day has reached the surface, cooling rapidly to form a hard crust.
With Mogi's assistance, Raito works to set up the system from square one. It has been impossible to recover the deleted data. L was too smart to leave a loophole. Everything is lost forever. Just like L. Raito has lost him forever. He can detect a noticeable detachment to reality. His limbs are on automation as he fiddles here and there with experienced touches. I'm here but I'm not here. Where am I?
"..to? Raito? Are you okay?" Matsuda is accustomed to talking to thin air, yet even he knows this is beyond the normal kind of being ignored. "We are ordering lunch. Do you want anything?"
Wake up, Raito. You are the perfect boy genius. Stay that way. Kira nudges. The brunet smiles at Matsuda and declines politely, then he lists an agenda and what each person's tasks are for the next few days, to recover the data and to further the investigation with a fresh start. The team is amazed at his calm composure, compared to yesterday. The men discuss amongst themselves quietly before Yagami-san approaches Raito with a heavy look.
"Raito, it may be a little early. However, it is crucial to have someone leading this investigation. We cannot let the world know L is..no longer with us." The former chief appears uncomfortable as he chooses his words carefully, "Raito, act in L's place. We are certain that would've been what he had wanted. No one else understands him or thinks like him better than you do."
Excellent! The corrupted world awaits your healing touch, Raito. Don't let your people wait too long. Kira whispers.
It has been a few weeks since the last Kira victim had turned up. What is a few days more? Raito struggles without success against this all powerful presence within him. A presence that had kept him amused when he was consumed by boredom. He had felt invincible back then. He was able to crush those who had escaped the legal loopholes. It was all very agreeable, back then.
Raito floats through the remaining afternoon in a logical haze, directing and answering everything with intelligent nonsense. He is worn out by his internal conflict. He is impatient for evening to arrive.
x x x x
The room is nondescript due to the dim lighting. However, there is a particularly bright nimbus at a corner of the room. As if showcasting a guest in a talk show, the spotlight shines on a familiar figure in an armchair.
"Ryuuzaki?"
"Why so sad, Raito-kun?" The pale man is sincerely concerned as he crouches in the chair, palms on raised knees, a white chin resting on top. "Is this not what you have always wanted?"
Raito rotates his head sideways and reaches out hesitant fingers to touch the nest of wild black hair. It feels real. He traces his forefinger at the outer shell of a perky ear.
"Stop it please. You know perfectly well what that does to me." The husky voice sends delightful shivers down Raito's spine.
"And you know perfectly well why I'm doing it." Raito murmurs as he adds his tongue to assist his finger. After a while, he sits back to admire his handiwork.
"Raito-kun.." Those soulful dark eyes are larger than usual, drowning Raito in their depths and beauty. "Why are you doing it?"
That is a double-edged question and it sinks a cold blade in his hot desire..his vision wavers..
Raito breathes hard as he awakes. He is coated with sweat, causing his pajamas to stick to him. He groans when he takes the sleepwear off. The cottony friction sends a pleasant current down his throbbing crotch. Ryuuzaki..
He has made a visit to the freezing room before he went to bed, feeling content after seeing him again. Now his mind is bursting to the brim with thoughts of him. It seems that he is immune to missing the man during daytime. There is no explanation. As the day progresses, there is a tightness in his chest. Is it heartache? It is at night that he is most vulnerable, all this pent up energy would drain him, leaving him exhausted and craving for oblivion to claim him. He rocks his hips against the blanket, trying to release the tension and get back to sleep. Enjoyable as it is, fatigue catches up and he cannot distinguish which event comes first.
They come together, flushed skins slick with sweat. Ryuuzaki drapes a wiry leg over Raito's narrow hips, spooning him closer in his embrace. His hot breaths tickle the youth's earlobe. His possessive hold brings a satisfied smile to Raito's face.
"Ryuuzaki, I'm not going anywhere."
"I know. Besides, you cannot hide from me. Wherever you are, I can find you." The teasing tone. Ryuuzaki is in a playful mood.
"You sound very dangerous."
"Raito-kun is more dangerous."
"Is that so?"
"I know so." The playfulness is gone. There is a sad edge to the softly spoken words.
"Why so sad, Ryuuzaki?" A feeling of déjà vu washes over Raito. Didn't Ryuuzaki ask him the same question before?
"You know the reason."
"I don't."
"Always playing games, Raito-kun."
"Whatever are you talking about, Ryuuzaki?"
"No matter. Raito-kun still has my affection, for as long as he wishes to have it." His arms surround Raito in a vice like grip before the pressure disappears all together.
A black void consumes the brunet. The warmth is replaced with coldness. He shivers not only from the cold, but from the feeling of eternal loss. Ryuuzaki is no longer with him. He reaches out blindly, to grasp at whatever his hands come in contact with..
Raito opens his eyes when his arms twist in the blanket that is a messy bunch next to him. His naked body continues to tremble from the cool air. It is dawn. He sits up and drapes the blanket over his shoulders. He can feel the stiff texture at a particular spot. Oh that. So it was more than a dream.
Did you enjoy the dream? It was hot and wet, wasn't it? Kira pauses. Are you ready to save the world today, Raito?
What? This presence is controlling my dreams as well?
Such ungratefulness, Raito. What presence? I am a reflection of you. Without you, I don't exist. We have been the best of friends back then, remember? You and I, we kicked asses. We are going to rewrite a new story for this rotten world. Kira is amused.
Am I going insane? Raito listens for a while for the inner voice and finds none. Puzzled, he takes a quick shower and prepares for a brand new day.
x x x x
For the next few days, Raito has directed the team members, mostly Mogi and Aizawa, into inputting the available information, any scraps, any printouts from their previous findings, into the newly set up system. His polished composures have convinced the team that he has made a swift recovery. They cannot be happier. Their Raito is back!
He continues his nocturnal visits to the freezer like clockwork. He dreams of Ryuuzaki every night now, relishing the surreal moments, soothing his heartache of missing the man. In his dreams, the disgusting pieces of cakes and sugar cubes are kept to a minimum. He is even able to manipulate the environment into his fantasies. Is that Kira's doing? Ryuuzaki once said his love will continue, as long as Raito wills it. Raito needs it, so anything else is of little import.
Finally, in dim awareness, Raito has suggested to his father that he would like to move out of the building. Kira has had enough of the place and it is time for Raito to be independent. He is resisting less, having indulged in his fantasies during nighttimes. Love is unpredictable and it was all he could do to contain the youth with illusions to trick the heart. Kira smirks in Raito's mask, twisting the beautiful face in a maniac leer when no one else is looking. Raito simply doesn't realize his potentials. Kira will show him the potentials. Combined with Raito's brilliant mind, Kira is invincible.
From the moment Raito picked up the Death Note, his life is damned. He slips from one prison to the next, never really free. The blissful period of anmensia had opened up many possibilities. His little taste at a life that was never meant to be has reshuffled his priorities, though his number one favorite has been shifting between justice and L. Since L is equal to justice, Raito cherishes him all the same. Even now.
It is now too late. The symbol is gone. L is not coming back. Having a loved one dying in your arms is not a memory you can erase with a dismissive wave. He cannot discard L's passing away like ashes to the wind. It has to mean something. Like carrying on L's legacy. With the ideal weapon in his hands, that has been set in motions. Kira has taken over to ensure Raito feels like he is doing it for the insomniac sugar addict. The transformation is complete. He glances backwards at the building without a trace of remorse as he makes an exit from the front gate.
The noonday sun strikes through the soft auburn tresses, rays of gold reflected in random highlights. The fair face can now smile with calculated ease. The pair of intelligent eyes are bright, both beautifully persuasive and alluringly poisonous. Several pedestrians stop nearby to admire at the gorgeous sight.
Just like last week, it is an innocent Sunday. A restful day. An unsuspecting day to give birth to a future god with the powers to save humanity at a cost no one human is ready to pay.
More Notes: I know, Raito is way ooc. I can't write him at all, but here it is, in all its imperfection. The next one is for people who are upset over what happened in the last chapter and, to be truthful, that was what I had meant to write while I was torn at how to wrap it all up. If you have the patience and time (I know you do, otherwise, you wouldn't be reading this), it wouldn't hurt to take a look. In case you are stopping here, I want to thank you for your interest and to those who have been watching out for updates and commenting, I really appreciate your long time support! Without you all, I wouldn't be able to go on. So THANK YOU~~
-M.H., Jan 24, 2008
(last edited Oct 30, 2009)