Sorry for the extremely late update. I'm afraid it might be like this for awhile, I have summer classes for college and it's tough stuff. I get compiled of homework that I have to finish up but I'll try to update my other story quickly too. I won't leave you hanging as long as I did last time too, sorry again!
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note; the title is also a title of a song from Neon Genesis Evangelion.
Chapter 21: The Heady Feeling of Freedom
Why? Misa didn't understand why she couldn't have one quiet peaceful day alone with L. Besides her blinking on the ground near the toilet bowl was L's laptop and it was blinking despite it being closed. Misa knew something had happened and someone was calling L for some reason.
Misa didn't understand why she was so frustrated. She was feeling much better after L brought her water to drink. He sat next to her and spoke to her about how much he loved her and sorry about putting her through so much. Misa shifted uncomfortable besides him, her mind rambling about how she was the one that should be saying sorry. Misa asked L to make her something to eat and he complied, getting up and reached out for her but she didn't take it. She knew he was hurt by it slightly but he shrugged it off casually thinking it was a mood swing.
So she just against the tub thinking to herself, she could hear L scrambling in the kitchen. She wondered if he was capable of cooking normal food for that moment and found herself laughing but then something broke that melodic laugh…L's laptop.
A thousand thoughts filled her head, about how she should have known someone was going to call him sooner or later. L was the world's greatest detective and she was now a stay home soon to be mom. She wouldn't mind it then as she wouldn't be alone with the little tikes running around but now was different. Even her being pregnant would L still leave her to attend to his duties and provide justice on those that were against it?
Of course he wouldn't… But then why was she crying? Misa could feel the wetness slip down her cheek and she didn't dare touch it. She was afraid of losing him. She needed him to keep her sanity in check. Without him who knows what she would do? Would she return to Light? She didn't know…
Misa sighed reaching over to open the laptop to watch as the screen blinked a giant L for a moment then a bunch of typed letters began to unravel on the screen. Misa sucked in her breath at the sight of S.O.S rolling down the screen. When Misa first broke into L's computer she had learned that S.O.S meant someone was in danger. Her fears were confirmed and she could only watch the repeated lettering scroll down and down until it finally stopped leaving a name.
Pain seared through her head almost immediately, as much as she wanted to get up and rush to L to tell him who was in danger – she found it hard to move. Her heart beat increased as her right hand hovered over the keys and she pressed escape removing the message from the screen.
Delete, delete! Her mind chanted as she did so, and once witnessing the deletion, Misa was able to let out a relieved sigh. Now L couldn't go anywhere, he had no reason to considering there was no danger but in doing this for her own selfish reasons she realized what might happen to that person. Misa closed the laptop shut while gritting her teeth. Forgive me.
"Misa, what are you doing?" Misa's soul nearly jumped out of her skin as she slowly turned to face L standing in the doorway with a curious look. His eyes widened slightly at the sight of her tear stricken face. "What happened?" Misa cursed under her breath, and tried her best to muster a smile while wiping away her tears.
"Nothing L," She lied, "So how is the food coming?" She lifted herself up from the ground and prepared to walk past him if necessary to avoid the situation all together. However he didn't follow her, she panicked knowing he already went to retrieve the laptop from the ground but she decided not to say anything. The evidence was already gone so she could calm herself.
She watched him silently as he opened it up and inspected it; he glanced at her briefly examining her for worry but there was none. "Do you want me to check on the food?" Misa asked breaking the silence, placing her hand on the doorway and slightly flinched as the word S.O.S flashed in her mind but she held her tone steady. "Or is it already ready..?" Misa wondered, and L simply snapped his laptop close, placed it under his right arm and strode over to her.
"It should be in a few minutes." He eyed her, she said nothing and soon she was following him to the kitchen like a dog with their tail between their legs. He showed her that he made soup, it smelt so good. Misa hovered over the stove, practically drooling. She would never be able to make something as edible unless she had a guardian watching over her which usually was him or an ever so helpful Matt or Linda who came by to visit.
Misa picked up the wooden spoon placed at the side of the stove and lifted it up stirring it just a bit, from each stir Misa witnessed L in the corner of her eyes back on his computer. He was obviously searching for what she had hidden from his knowledge. Misa could feel that familiar fear rushing through her veins and in her anxiety she lifted the wooden spoon from the pan, raised it over her right arm, and spilt the hot contents. Immediately Misa let out a cry of pain, dropping the wooden spoon, and held her right hand weakly as a throbbing pain coursed through her.
Luckily just as she anticipated L pulled his eyes away from the monitor and darted over to her side. He led her to the sink, turning the water on and waited calmly till it was cold. Misa hissed when the freezing water touched her slight burn, but with L's hands wrapped around her, and her back placed to his chest, she felt at ease.
"Lawliet…"Misa felt herself breathe out and before he could answer she let her lips part again in question, "Do you promise to stay with me?" It was silent from there, only the running water gave her company and finally his answer came.
"What are you trying to imply Misa?" Misa cursed, of course him being a detective couldn't just give her a simple yes or no. Everything was an interrogation. Misa shut off the water, and pushed L away gently as she went over to the cabinets to find a Band-Aid box.
"Nothing, forget it." Misa replied, and she continued to shuffle through the cabinet. She could sense L's frown behind her and without looking she could see him raise his left thumb to his lip.
"Tears," L paused, thinking about the way he found her earlier. "They usually mean sadness," again he paused, pressing his thumb against his mouth, "anger," Misa growled, why did he have to talk that way? She found the box and pulled it out, with a satisfied smile. "And fear." Misa stiffened, and the box fell from her hands down to the floor, spilling out at her feet.
Misa cursed loudly, knowing she just gave herself partially away and now with her watchful fiancé eyes on her she had a choice to make. Stay still but let out a joke, then asking L to grab the box for her as she wasn't feeling well but then she would have to deal with his poking and prodding about what had made her feel so ill or there was always plan B.
Plan B meant she could simply lean down grab the box but Misa already knew if she tried that her hands would shake. Her mind was already in full panic state, and the rest of her body would naturally show off that gesture. So what then, Misa swallowed sharply. Her eyes slowly made its way to L; he wasn't amused and gave her that same stoic look whenever he was calculating alternative approaches in his brain. Misa was sure that he already had a plan H compared to her plan B and she sighed heavily.
"Something happened." Misa stated plainly, L gave no reaction, it was his way of saying, 'No duh,' but she didn't snap back at his cocky attitude. "But," She told him, grabbing the box off the floor, her hands were less shaken at the confession. "If I tell you –promise Misa something." She watched him lower his thumb to open his mouth but she cut him off. "And you have to keep it, no matter how serious this could be." Misa replied, eyes sharp narrow. His lips snapped shut, lined, he looked furious. "I mean it Lawliet."
People would say she was being selfish for doing this to someone like L. He was one that acted on things and nothing would hold him back, but Misa swore she would not let him this time. If she was his burden, so be it. "Stay with me." Misa begged, tears stinging her eyes, "Don't leave me here alone; I don't want you to go after him." She didn't need to explain herself they both knew who he was.
"Misa-"Misa took a deep breath, her mind told her to stop being stupid. She should have expected things to be this way. Soon she would have to return to her work and leave him and then L would be L and they would hardly ever see each other. Maybe they would talk, on the phone but sooner or later she would be called away or he would have an investigation to continue.
Their child might be the only thing that would save them from falling apart. They would have to meet up for that one purpose. She would see L ruffle their child's hair and give her the reason to fall in love with him again. For L, maybe he too, would be reminded that she isn't just that ditzy babe on commercials but she too had wants and beliefs that were just as intelligent as his own and soon they would embrace again. However she would do anything necessary to keep him near her, going against Light was one thing but going against the both Light and BB was another!
"Lawliet," Misa snapped very harshly, "If you walk out that door." Misa said, closing her eyes and let her brows twitch in annoyance. "I will personally finish my job that I have left undone many months ago."
Misa snapped her eyes open, they gleamed bright red. "I will kill you for Light-kun." Misa stated icily. L didn't move, not that he was frightened but he simply couldn't, because of his heart. He felt restricted; a tight painful squeeze held his heart and grasped it tightly. L knew Misa would never purposely hurt him she was just trying to keep him here, to keep him safe so they could raise a family but at this rate, he didn't know if he would live long enough too.
"Misa," L croaked out lightly. Misa raised a brow at the way he sounded, and watch a hand flew to his chest, over to his heart. "I-I'll stay." He gave in, and Misa's eyes snapped back to normal widening in horror as he dropped to the floor with a loud thump. He didn't move either, his hand no longer gripped at his heart as painfully as before.
Misa straight away fell to her knees, and gathered L in her arms, shaking him. What had happened? She squeezed his hand called his names but L wouldn't stir. He wouldn't respond, he wouldn't move. Perhaps he had simply fainted, Misa concluded, but she reached over to his neck to look for a vital sign. However there was none, no pulse, no L, just her alone and with that Misa brings her hands to her face and wept.
She never meant to kill him, she never had that sort of power, and Misa felt herself going into turmoil. The stove was boiling she could hear it, Misa needed to go turn it off, but she couldn't move. She wanted to die; Misa concluded as she lowered her hands to her lap and bumped her head against the cabinets. Her right hand flew to her lips as she still couldn't believe what she said to him. Her last words to him were I will kill you for Light-kun. Tears flowed down her cheeks, she didn't deserve L.
"Once a monster, always a monster." Misa mumbled out in a somber tone. However something caught her mind, a hand grasped her left hand tightly. Misa gasped, as she felt her arm being dragged over to warm skin, and then a small thump she felt under her hands, and then another, and another. Misa lowered her eyes, and found L staring up at her.
Before she could utter a single word, he slapped her left hand away from his, bringing it up against her cheek, as he managed to get up on his knees, and pull her into a kiss. Her eyes were wide, but slowly they shut, and she enjoyed how both hands were on her cheeks, and she held onto those hands, and cried, knowing he was very much alive again. As L pulled away, she heard him utter a singly phrase, idiot. However there was no anger lingering in it, it sounded humored, and yet at the same time greatly annoyed. Lcontinued to stare at her with those large dark pools, observing her. Misa opened her mouth to talk but again he silenced her, one index finger placed on her lips.
"Apparently you never learned how to correctly feel for a pulse." L grumbled, and Misa felt a drop of sweat roll down her face. "Otherwise you would have none right away I was still alive. Luckily you released that gaze you had on me and it seemed to have stopped the spell." He removed his hand from her lips and as soon as he did Misa exclaimed,
"I never meant to-"L shushed her again, that stare back on her with a certain mirth expression on his lips.
"I know you can't control your emotions." Misa's cheeks puffed, she was getting angry that he kept shutting her up. He raised his left hand index finger up while keeping her mouth shut lightly with his right. "One because you've always been allowed to act this way being spoiled as a model," Misa gripped his right hand and moved it from her lips while watching him lift another finger to join his left index.
"I was not spoil-"
"Two because you were constantly ignored by Light," Misa clamped her lips shut and growled at the reminder. Light mainly ignored her because he figured to be incompetent to his standards. Another finger was lifted up.
"And three you're pregnant with my child so thus I am not angry with you." He stated lowering his left hand and Misa gave him that look of disbelief. "I mean it." He stated getting up and moving over to the stove, promptly shutting it off before any more steam and bubbles shot from it. He then retrieved the spoon off the ground and set it on the counter while Misa dried her tears.
"You say you're not angry, and I can't hear it but Lawliet you're not a god at hiding your emotions. I can clearly see it." Misa stated, while sniffing loudly, she tried to get up and L's hand was there to help her up in an instant. Misa couldn't help but smile as she took his and he pulled her into his arms.
"I never said I was a god, I'm not as egotistical as Light-kun." L muttered, and she rested her head on his shoulder, while wrapping her arms around him. She felt so warm, so safe, so amazing with him. Misa squeezed him tighter but enough to let him breath easily in her hold. "Misa-"
"Don't talk." Misa hushed him, and turned her head to rub against the crock of his neck. She let a hand slid against his cheek as he stared at her with lined lips. He was extremely angry, she could tell, after all she did love him. "You have every right to be." Misa whispered, kissing him gently on the cheek, more tears coming to her eyes. "I almost killed you."
"But you didn't." He told her firmly.
"That doesn't excuse me L."
"I think it does. It didn't happen. I'm not angry at you because of that."L replied, and soon Misa felt herself pressed against the table and L hovering on top of her. Misa squeaked in surprise.
"I'm angry because you're keeping a secret from me, a grave one. It's clear in your eyes that you're in distress. There's something bothering you and I intend on finding it out, now as a detective and you will tell me or else you will find yourself in a similar position that was close to that on the rooftop of the task building so many months ago." Misa simply gaped at him while her mind repeated that incident from that time way back then when her alliance with Light was slowly beginning to severe because of a single kiss.
L pressed her against her against the wall back then their hands were locked together as he interrogated her. L pulled his left hand from his pocket and stroked the other side of her cheek with his thumb. Misa's heart thumbed loudly.
"Who dared to lift a finger on you?" He asked silkily and Misa's heart rate came to a stop but quickly recovered as she tried to hide it with an innocent smile.
"What are you talking about? No one hit me." Misa whispered softly finding her words.
"Is that so…?" L murmured and pressed his lips against hers again.
"Mmh." Misa replied, and finally was able to close her eyes and kiss back but the kiss only lasted a few seconds. Misa pouted when L pulled away from the second time and tried to lift her left hand to pull him close but his left hand locked hands with her and now she was his captured prisoner.
"I think you're lying and thus no more kiss for you." Misa let out a gasp and he smirked. "If you tell, then maybe you can have another." Misa groaned, and his smirk only grew.
"You're a jerk."
"You're a jerk Lawliet." Misa replied, saying the same words she spoke that night earning a victory smirk from L. He clearly overpowered her like this and she knew it. That night back then, she caved in a matter of minutes, this time she would not. Misa couldn't tell him, he would be extremely angry that she was so selfish that to hold him close to her that she would allow someone to get hurt just to keep it that way.
"Misa tell me." L said, leaning close to her but she pushed him away.
"No extraneous activity L. I'm pregnant remember." Misa pointed out, and L frowned.
"I can still kiss you…"He mumbled, while she removed herself from the table. She stuck her tongue out at him and he groaned. "Misa."
"No means no L." Misa stated, crossing her arms over her chest. "Besides I'm not in the mood, I almost killed you." Misa muttered, tears threatening to fall again and L placed his hands in his pockets, to hide the fact he was clenching them tightly.
"But you didn't." He reminded her, they were playing an invisible ping pong match, and he swore it. "Misa, you hiding your secret from me is not the only thing that made me angry." She gave him a questionable look; there goes her chances to change the subject. He approached her, and leaned closed to her, their lips nearly touching and his eyes staring intently at hers.
"The fact that you cried…It annoys me greatly."
"E-eh?" Misa replied, and L closed the gap between them, pressing his lips to the corner of her eyes, and kissing away her tears. Misa's face heat up in an instant and watched him pull away with a satisfied smirk. Her hair was practically standing up, and pointed out everywhere by then, he got her good.
"Don't cry for me Misa." He instructed her and she was trying to snap out of her shock as he explained the root of his fury. "Next time, make sure you have every single detail of evidence before you go on making a conclusion. Check for skin temperature, if you can't feel a pulse, check for breathing, do CPR, do something! Just don't cry. Even if I am gone, don't you dare cry! I couldn't stand it. To know you were in pain because of me." L practically exploded, and Misa gapped at him in response. "Idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot!" His rant suddenly dropped, and he hushed again, his waving arms, and pacing finally halted, and his gaze back on hers with an apologetic expression.
"I'm sorry…"Misa spoke, beating him to the punch. "Misa wasn't thinking she was just scared that she had killed you. Besides Misa doesn't even know how to do CPR." L almost wanted to smack his forehead; don't people have to go to school to learn that in order to pass?
"I'll teach you…"L replied, and smirked, it might be fun. His perversion getting the best of him, but Misa snapped him out of it.
"Misa cried because she loves you." Her hands were clasped, gripping tightly and her bangs were covering her eyes. "Misa couldn't image what she would have done if you died."
"You would have resulted to suicide." L quoted her; from the first time she explained the reason why she had to kill herself to save him. That memory was like a haunting dream. He never wanted her to commit such actions over his death.
"How is it you're here? You-You-di-"L choked out as he stared at the black winged angel in front of him. Misa pointed to the object that was on the ground, the Death Note.
"Special Case – It's not every day someone purposely writes their own name in the notebook to save someone they love." Misa closed her eyes and giggled with a light smile. L frowned at the reminder, yet Misa seemed quite fine of the idea, her eyes opening to reveal a shining happiness. It annoyed him to no extend.
"You didn't have to-"She cut him off by placing her right index finger on his lips. Her orbs sparkling brightly.
"I told you didn't I? I'm not like you or Light. I don't think things through I just act. Besides if you died I'd probably end up committing suicide or something." She said jokingly and L gave her a dark glare. Misa placed her hands up in defense. "I'm only joking…"
"That's. Not. Funny."
It still wasn't funny or a joking manner despite what Misa thought, L hated every time he was reminded of her foolishness.
However Misa blinked at him in surprise, she wasn't even going to mention that after his snappy attitude the first time she suggested it. She swallowed lightly, and took his hand in hers.
"I wasn't even going to say that, I know that you wouldn't have wanted that." L nodded, he would defiantly not want her to die over him. Ever, under any circumstance, he didn't care if she was the 2nd Kira anymore, and he didn't care if he was killed on betrayal because he loved her. He would never want anything to befallen upon her. She was undeserving of such things; she proved it, over and over. From saving his life, his students, and risking her on health to keep everyone in order. Misa had changed, doe the best.
"There would be no reason for you too." L announced, and she waited for him to explain. He placed his hand freed on her belly. "After all there will always be a piece of me with you now." Misa stared down at his hand, her gaze blurring as a tear slipped down her cheek and landed on his hand. She was smiling, that bastard, he had managed to make everything make sense. Yes, even if L died, she had to live on because not only would he been in her heart but he would be a living legend in the eyes of their child. "Misa…" L breathed out, and his eyes widened when she pulled him into a hug and yelled out the truth that she had been hiding away in a sputter of tears.
"There was an S.O.S on your computer screen! Matsuda needs you, now go!" Misa pulled away from him, he continued to stare at her with shock. "Well what are you waiting for go be L, GO!"
It took him a moment to recover, and then he quickly placed a kiss on her lips.
"Stay here," He told her seriously, "Lock the door, and stay here." Misa nodded as their foreheads were pressed against each other.
"I love you." He nodded, and just like that he was gone and out the door. A flood of tears erupted after that, and Misa could only wish him luck as turned her gaze back on the stove. It wasn't boiling anymore, L hadn't realized he had turned it completely off, and now she was left with frozen soup. She could warm it up, but Misa found it hard as she collapsed to her knees, banging her head against the oven door, with a loud cry. Be safe, Lawliet!
XXX
Alright! It was a dramatic chapter, but I hope you liked it! I enjoyed it for the most part. The italic parts are flashbacks from the first and 2nd story both in order from A Change of Pace to A Bittersweet Discover so it's not as confusing.
**Reviewer's Domain**
Mooncry – Yes he is dead, he didn't get the special treatment that Misa got. His bodies kind of wilted away LOL. But hey IF he wins, The Shinigami king might be able to restore it or something. Right now Light's just like a spirit, ghost thing. Shinigami yeah, I kind of screwed up, but ah well.
- Yep it did, I had run short on ideas and you had restored it at that point. Much appreciated and thank you for liking the story!
Claudia-Maria-Anne- Yeah, I plan to have kids when I get older or get married one day but I'm not too thrilled about the 9 month thing but it will be worth it in the end, right? xD
Xoxo-SugarHigh-xoxo- Yeah I intended it to be a real laugh, sucks to be her, yep yep!
FDS-Sasuke-fangirl-Lawliet: Yes I shall!
KonniHops: I'm glad you love the story, hope you like this update! I did, maybe you will too! I'll try to get the next one up by next week for sure.
And to anyone else whose favorite added, or added me under alert I want to personally thank you at reminding me that it sucks when an author doesn't finish their story so – I will do so! So it won't suck! Hah! Thanks again everyone!
-Takiasmuse.