Christmas Party

and no need to wonder
what's been on my mind
it's you

Joshua Radin

"Yes, I think we shall." Silver said, still feeling quite uncertain about the night that lay ahead.

A half hour later, Luna's statements were validated, Harry was indeed her date for the night. The four of them walked together down to Slughorn's office, which seemed to look bigger than it did on a normal day. There were crimson and gold draperies hanging from the roof, making the room seem like a festive outdoor tent rather than a teacher's study. The room was already crowded, although it was still relatively early, as Harry squeezed inside first. She instantly regretted sending him in before her as the voice of Professor Slughorn boomed in elation at the sight of him. Dreading that Slughorn would take him away, leaving only Anthony and her, she fought against the gaggle, mistakenly hitting someone shorter than her on the face but finding no time to apologize. She nearly groaned when she'd discovered both Luna and Harry were gone.

"Are you in a hurry? You hit Flitwick in the face, you realize that?" asked a bemused Anthony.

Silver ignored him, although feeling a tinge of regret for the poor man, but ignored him nonetheless. Her eyes wandered about the room, searching for anyone she knew, when she unfortunately caught Cormac staring at her resentfully. And if he was here, that means someone else had brought him, but who?

"Let's go this way." Silver elbowed Anthony, careful to have the least physical contact with him.

"Why, hello there Cormac." Silver said pleasantly, not devoting her complete attention to him, but rather the rest of the room.

"I'm better than you." Cormac said to Anthony, sizing him up.

"Excuse me?" Anthony asked, looking hopelessly confused.

"He's a prefect for godssake!" Cormac was now addressing the side of Silver's face, "I only need look at him to tell he's the most boring bloke on the planet."

"Pardon me, McLaggen, but you have no right to judge how boring I am!" He carefully examined his words and added, "Which I'm not."

"Who'd you bring?" Silver asked, dismissing their earlier dispute.

"Hermione Granger."

"You're barking!" Anthony rebutted, "She's a prefect, too! Is she an exception, then? Not as boring as the rest of us."

"Exactly." said Cormac.

"Wonderful! Where is she then?" asked Silver.

"Dunno. She wandered off." Cormac told her, growing annoyed.

She frowned, casting Anthony a sideways glance, "Well, you look smart Cormac. Doesn't he, Anthony?"

Anthony's blue eyes widened, "Divine. I'm so glad you've noticed."

"Of course, you look lovely just as well." Silver smiled before catching sight of a ginger up ahead, "Ginny? Ginny!"

"Silver! There you are! Oh look at how lovely you look."

"Thanks, so do you."

"Hey Anthony..Cormac." She greeted them, then looking at Silver once again, "Care for some mead? We can go get a glass-"

"Yes, please." said Silver, looking rather desperate, "I'll be right back, you two have fun." Noticing Ginny's skepticism she added, lowering her voice, "They'll be perfectly fine."

Ginny poured the liquid contents of a bottle into Silver's goblet. "Dean's been talking to Neville all night. Seems he's taking me asking him for some independence a bit too seriously. "

Silver laughed, "I'd better get some for Anthony, I suppose."

Silver and Ginny threw themselves into the throng again, carefully balancing the mead. Anthony thanked her as she handed him the goblet.

"Still haven't found Hermione?" Silver asked Cormac, who seemed had finally reached his boiling point with Anthony and stalked off, leaving Silver's question unanswered.

After a short while, the mead in their system made conversation a lot more fluid between Silver and Anthony, Ginny even finding the need to barricade Dean somewhere in a dark corner.

"I'll bet Dean's a very happy man right now." Said Silver laughing.

"Ginny looked determined…I wouldn't doubt it." said Anthony tittering as much as she was.

"Shall we find them and make them hate us?"

Anthony lowered his head, "Or, maybe we should do something else.."

"What?" she asked stupidly, completely oblivious to Anthony's silent pleads.

His face inched closer to Silvers, his smile beginning to fade, when he was interrupted by the voice of Filch bellowing out Slughorn's name right beside him.

Silver separated from him, and turned her head, coming face to face with Draco – who had seen the whole scene. Slughorn and Filch were exchanging a few words, but she hardly noticed, because her full attention was on Draco. He looked ill. His skin looked almost grey instead of pale. His platinum blonde hair was unkempt, and there were noticeably defined dark circles under his resentment-filled silver eyes. She resisted the urge to approach him and make sure he was real because he looked so frail.

"Alright I wasn't invited!" He said, loosening himself from Filch's grip, "Now, let me go."

"Do as he says, Argus!" said Slughorn gleefully, "The poor boy only wanted to attend the party! It's Christmas! Let him stay and enjoy the fun."

"I'd prefer to have a word with him for a moment." Snape intervened, acknowledging Slughorn crossly.

"Well, alright, Severus. Don't be too hard on the dear boy." said Slughorn, determined to lighten the mood.

"I think that's up for me to decide." said Snape before grabbing Draco's arm and leading him out.

Slughorn stared after them for a brief moment, before he began waving his arms in the air, "C'mon! back to the party, everyone, enjoy yourselves!"

Anthony, noticing Silver's frazzled expression, took her by either shoulder, "Now, where were we?"

"Huh –"

And before she knew it, Anthony's lips were pressed onto hers. His hands travelled up to her neck as she remained stationary, still in shock, but not at what Anthony had done, but at the fact that she was now kissing him back. Her emotions were so overwhelming, she began to feel tears sting at her eyes. Thoughts of Draco filled her mind, and for a moment she had convinced herself that it was him she was kissing. Anthony pulled her body closer to his, letting his hand graze over her waist slowly, feeling the silk come in contact with her skin. She liked the feeling of being held again, of being loved, but it was a matter of seconds before realization struck her, hard. She opened her eyes and jumped out of his embrace, tears spilling from her eyes. She wanted to slap him, but she knew she couldn't, for she was just as much at fault for this then he was, and without the slightest inclination to linger any longer, she left.

It wasn't something to cry over, she sternly told herself to quiet the tears. The last thing she needed was for someone to stop her and ask her what was wrong as she made her way out of the aggregate of handsomely dressed students, she would otherwise see in black robes were it not for the special occasion. She'd finally managed to find the entrance, which also functioned as the exit, and grabbed a hold of the knob, searching the room once more without an intended target, when her eyes landed on a grand clock hanging from above an ornately carved mantle. It was barely 10:30. She felt a wash of regret for leaving Anthony, but it was soon forgotten. Candlelight illuminated the corridor outside of Slughorn's office, more than usual, providing some comfort for Silver. The clacking of her heels against the floor beneath her echoed off the walls. Deciding she found the sound a bit unsettling, she slipped her shoes off, holding them in one hand. The sudden contact of her bare feet against the cold marble floor produced cursory goosebumps all along her skin.

She had an epic flaw, Silver, like most did in their characters, and it was her negligence to the present. Often, she reveled far too much in her thoughts, leaving her unfocused to the world around her. And it was that very flaw that conned her when she failed to notice a rather upset Snape walking in her direction. Luckily, she'd travelled far enough from the office and she was once again subjected to poor lighting, giving her just the advantage to slide behind a column. Her heart leapt in her chest. Snape had stopped walking. She thought he had seen her, and her mind was already spiraling with the types of punishments she would receive. Then there was another rhythmic pounding against the marble, for a moment she thought Snape had continued walking, but it sounded far away, and she would've seen him walk by if he had.

"You can't keep telling me what to do, Snape." A harsh, yet quiet, voice cut through the silence like a knife, causing her heart to leap unreasonably, for she knew straightaway who it was.

"Retire to your dormitory, Draco, don't make me repeat myself." The sound of his cloak whipping around was enough to signal he had turned around to face Draco.

"I've told you, I can't." His voice was almost unrecognizable; shrill due to his efforts in keeping his voice down, "I've got something to finish before the night's over."

"Not another one of your ill-thought plans is it?" Snape jeered.

"It would've worked –"

"Don't be so naïve, Draco, you're but a mere…boy." Snape's said in a patronizing tone.

"I was chosen for this. Me. Not you!" Draco said, not proudly, not with any emotion at all, he only said it, "You're just jealous it wasn't you, he chose."

Snape laughed; a sarcastic, throaty, unpleasant sound. "Stop thinking like such a child; this isn't a game, it's serious. It isn't another bickering amongst you and a schoolmate."

There it was again. Snape was trying his best to belittle Draco. And it seemed as if that was how Snape was planning to end their conversation, as he walked away. Silver fell further into the shadows, scared Snape would turn around and see her; but he was gone now. Draco was breathing heavily, nearly panting. Was it because he was angry or frustrated? Silver wondered. Or was it because Snape had displayed such condescension towards him?

She didn't realize her legs were moving, she wanted so badly to see Draco, to learn something about his struggles. There was knot in her empty stomach, not helping her inadequate nourishment for the night.

"Draco." she whispered, but despite her efforts, the echo bounced off the walls, making it louder than she'd intended.

He jumped, startled. His eyes perused over her, examining the state she was in. Barefoot, a short black dress, her hair undone from something that used to look like an updo. He shut his eyes, inhaling a shaky breath.

"I don't want to be here." He admitted aloud. "I don't want to be…me."

She watched him as he put both hands on the very top of his blonde head.

"I can't do anything right." He continued to say as his eyes remained closed. He needed to get everything off his chest, and not seeing her would make it easier.

"I am just a child. I don't know what I'm doing! I'm only sixteen." He pleaded, "Snape can't protect me, it's all up to me…all of it. I have to do it all on my own!"

Empathetic to his declarations, she stepped closer to him, although, maintaining her distance.

He swallowed back a lump forming in his throat, "Everything that's important to me, I've ruined. I don't have a future. I've lost my ambitions. I've lost my father, and I will my mother, if I'm not careful." The words stung as he said them, frowning, he finally opened his eyes to find her standing just a few feet away. "I've lost my best friend…my girlfriend. The only person I've ever loved more than I could even fathom." He was biting back tears, "I couldn't even keep you happy."

"You haven't –" she tried explaining to him otherwise, but he interrupted.

"But, I've decided, you deserve it. You deserve so much better than me. Goldstein would never do the things I've done to you, the pain I've caused…"

"You haven't lost me." said Silver quickly, before he meandered off into another monologue of self-loathing.

He searched her face, feeling a little better after finding no trace of contradiction.

"I tried," she began, pursing her lips briefly, "I decided to go out with Anthony, I flirted with Cormac. But for some reason, I couldn't get you out of my head, Draco, why can't we both just understand it?" she suppressed the urge to growl, "I want to be with you…and you want to be with me."

He raked his brains for a counterargument, Merlin knows he tried, but he just couldn't fight with the truth anymore.

"He kissed me, Anthony."

Before she could even continue, he already felt his blood boiling, and images of several ways to kill Anthony filled his head.

"That was a bit, climatic, I think. It hit me with the rather disturbing reality that I could, possibly, never fully let go of you."

"It didn't take me very long to realize it; in fact…..I've accepted that for a long time…..i think, since I was eleven."

Silver's face twisted oddly, in her efforts to suppress a smile, for the muscles on her face suddenly felt light.

"I was stupid. I don't care, whether…the whole school knows I'm completely in love with you. I don't care that…you're Potter's sister…if it's one thing that's kept me sane this entire time, it was knowing, or hoping, that if you still loved me, I wouldn't be so careless this time. Keeping us a secret was the worst thing I could've ever done. I'm not ashamed of you, Silver, I never have been…but I think there was a point that, I convinced myself I was...because – well, I didn't want to drag you into my deranged life."

"You act like I haven't seen it all before!" she walked closer to him, "I've seen it all before, I know what it's like to live in fear, we went through it together, remember?"

He nodded, feeling a lot better than he had in months, "That's how it feels now, I'm scared, Silver."

The moonlight hung over them, the sounds of people laughing from the party filled their ears.

"What are you scared of?"

He inhaled a deep breath, "Not finishing what I started."

Without further thought, she approached him, balancing herself on tiptoes and planted a small, gentle kiss on his cheek.

"Don't let fear dictate what you can, or cannot do."

And before she was able to separate, he cradled her face in his hands, gingerly brushing his thumb on her cheek. Her cheeks reddened at this touch, and he smiled fondly. "Please, don't break up with me ever again."

She sighed teasingly, "Fine…I suppose I wont."

And then she felt his lips on hers, her entire body tingling in euphoria. His longing for her was evident in the kiss, the way he held her so tightly; half expecting she would leave him again. Her hands climbed up to his strong chest, enjoying the feeling of having him so close again.

For a moment she laughed inwardly, reminiscing back to when they were younger. She would've never expected herself to feel this way for her childhood friend; and to think she would've never seen him again, were it not for Barty's imprisonment.

Feeling short of breath, she pulled away for air, where he responded by wrapping his arms tighter around her waist and tenderly placing brief kisses around her face. She laughed softly at his persistence.

"Stop it, there's people coming." She urged sweetly.

He kissed her forehead again before answering, "I don't mind."

She put both hands on either cheek, "Well I do. I don't want to be caught snogging in the middle of a corridor."

He frowned, "You don't want to be caught snogging, or you don't want to be caught snogging me?"

"The first one." She said quickly, "I don't like people watching, it's uncomfortable. Anyways, you're already in trouble for 'gate-crashing'."

He smirked, "Alright, I reckon your right."

She looked into his eyes, seeing a clear reflection of her smiling face on the grey surface, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

He kissed her once more, "Yes."

A/N: Ahh I finally finished this chapter! I've had so many distractions lately, I thought it was going to be impossible! I've actually been looking for a summer job, and it's so difficult. There isn't anyone in the world that's hiring, and the few interviews I've gone to have all been an epic fail –because I haven't been hired. -_-

At least writing gives me the time to relax and not thinking about my failed attempts in the job market, which is something I need to realize more often, because most days I feel like I'll just stress myself out even more since I had a case of writer's block –but it was quite the opposite.

Anyway, back to the story. Thank you guys for reviewing! I'm sorry I couldn't get back to each of you individually as I usually like to do, but I'm handing out previews for the next chapter! Woo! :D

So hit me up with a review, and you'll get a preview! You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours (; Sorry, that was a terrible comparison/analogy lol