One day after Barry and Kara's karaoke night...
WARNING: Innuendos and Ralph's inappropriate habit
Leave a review after reading, please. Feedback is always appreciated.
I'd like to thank the following users for reviewing the previous chapter: CallMeMiles, Ladyawesome45321, Jason Hunter, Aragorn II Elessar, Star1X
To CallMeMiles: It's not Edge. But thanks for sharing your guess.
To Aragorn II Elessar: You're welcome.
To Star1X: Well, Kara/Oliver is an okay couple, I guess. Go for it.
"Only a true friend would be that truly honest." - Donkey, Shrek
Kara woke up with a hangover that passed pretty quickly. She was on her bed, still wearing the dress she wore last night. Remembering last night, she thought she'd check on Barry. As it turns out, Barry never left. He was sitting down on the couch, reading a book called The Hunger Games.
"Morning," Barry greeted.
"Morning," Kara greeted.
"You feeling okay?" Barry asked.
"Well, I had a hangover that lasted for fifteen seconds," said Kara.
"Do you always sing Moon River when you sleep, or only when you're drunk?" Barry asked.
"First time I've slept drunk, so I guess the latter," said Kara. "So, any reason why I'm still wearing my dress?"
"Oh, I couldn't just... I mean, you were already asleep, so... i-i-it would be wrong for me to..." Barry babbled. "Well, I just... you know... I-I-I..."
"I know. I just wanted to hear you say it," Kara said, laughing. "You're quite the gentleman, Barry Allen. I can see why Iris loves you."
"Yeah," Barry said as his smile dropped.
"I-I'm sorry," Kara apologized. "I didn't mean to..."
"That's okay," said Barry. "So, last night was pretty fun. Wasn't it?"
"A lot," Kara replied. "Look, Barry, about that kiss... let's just pretend it never happened, okay?"
"Maybe, but I can't forget about what you said last night," said Barry.
"Did I do anything else... crazy?" Kara asked.
"Well, when I took you to bed, you started mumbling and saying stuff, like, Mom, I want to go to bed," said Barry, mimicking Kara's voice. "Then you asked me to stay with you, so I did. But then you grabbed me and cuddled me. I tried to break free, but you were too strong. I was stuck in bed with you for about fifteen minutes until I could finally escape. My shoulder ached a lot. Thank goodness for super fast healing."
"Oh, Rao," Kara cursed, covering her face in embarrassment. "Wait, are you messing with me?"
"No, I'm not," Barry swore.
"I am never drinking with you again," said Kara.
"But we can still go out for karaoke night, right?" Barry asked.
"How can I say no to that?" Kara replied.
"Kara, no matter how you feel about me, I will always care for you," said Barry.
"Yeah, I mean, it's no big deal. It's just a phase," said Kara.
"For what it's worth, I think you're a great kisser," said Barry. "Honestly, I'm curious to know if you're a better kisser when you're not drunk."
"Are you asking for one, Barry?" Kara teased.
"Depends on you," said Barry.
"Keep up the flattery and maybe you'll get another one," Kara replied.
"Like I said, depends on you," said Barry.
"Do you want breakfast?" Kara offered.
"Don't worry. I can take care of that myself," said Barry. "But first, a little music to lighten the mood."
Barry turns on Kara's Bluetooth speaker and plays "Route 66." Kara watches as Barry uses his super speed to fry eggs and make toast. He flips the eggs in the air, went to put the bread on saucers, and then caught the eggs before they dropped. Barry pours Kara some orange juice as well. Knowing how hungry Kara can get, Barry keeps on going. He danced along as he kept on flipping and toasting. For added fun, he twirled Kara as if they were ballroom dancing. He flipped the eggs in the air and gave Kara the frying pan. Kara uses her super speed to catch the eggs.
"Whoa!" Kara exclaimed.
"Fun, huh?" Barry asked.
"Oh, very," said Kara. "I wish I can do this every morning."
"Well, I can crash here from now on if you want," said Barry. Realizing how that sounds, he corrects himself. "I mean, on the couch, of course. On the couch. If I crashed on the... that would be weird and... you know."
Kara laughed. Why is it that we have so much in common, she wondered.
"Yeah, I know," she replied.
"Thanks, Kara," said Barry.
"For what?" asked Kara.
"For last night and today," said Barry. "I really needed this. Me and Iris... it's been hard for me. But I'm glad you came. I guess you can say we both needed new sources of sunlight. And we found it in each other."
Kara smiled.
"And thank you," said Kara. "For making me feel at home on your Earth. You really brighten my world, Barry Allen."
Barry smiled.
Later that morning, Barry had to meet up with Ralph at Jitters because he couldn't pay for his coffee. Barry left some money in the tip jar, but Ralph stole it behind his back.
"So, where were you earlier?" asked Ralph. "You weren't in Iris' apartment or Joe's house."
"Oh, I spent the night at Kara's," Barry answered.
"Whoa, hold on a second, rookie," Ralph reacted. "You were in bed with a gorgeous bombshell barely a week after breaking up with Iris? Wow, I didn't know you had it in you."
"What, no. It wasn't like that. She was drunk and she couldn't get home on her own. I slept on the couch," Barry explained. "And stop calling me rookie."
"Whatever, rookie," said Ralph. "So, if you and Kara are not sleeping together, do you think maybe you could give me her number?"
"Stay away from her, Ralph. I mean it," Barry warned him. "She's also in pain. I can't just..."
Suddenly, a man with a gun showed up behind them, pointing his gun at them.
"Both of you! Hand over your cash, now!" He demanded.
"Hey, haven't I seen you somewhere...?" Barry recognized him.
The mugger is the same one who tried to rob him back when he first got his powers. Barry remembered stealing his gun, taking off his clothes, and leaving a police officer with him.
"Hold on second," Barry said to the mugger.
Barry and Ralph now discuss Ralph's next lesson quietly.
"Let's see if The Flash taught you well. Muggers are Superhero 101," said Barry. "What's your plan?"
"Okay, how sweet would it be if I turned into a human slingshot?" Ralph suggested.
"Hey, I'm still robbing you guys!" The mugger reminded them.
"We will be right with you, sir," said Ralph, asking the robber to be patient.
Barry and Ralph keep on whispering to each other. Losing his patience, the mugger shoots. His bullet, however, bounces off Ralph and back at him, hitting his leg. He screams in pain as he drops to his knees.
"Well, our work here is done," said Ralph, satisfied.
"Whoa, hey. We can't just leave him. You just shot him," said Barry.
"I didn't shoot him. He shot him," said Ralph.
The mugger shoots again. Ralph had his hand up, which caught the bullet and bounced it back to the mugger. It hit his right butt cheek. He screamed again.
"Stop shooting him!" Barry said.
"I am not shooting him!" Ralph insisted.
"Ah! He shots my ass!" The mugger cried in pain.
"I'm taking him to the hospital," Barry said.
Barry helps the mugger stand up, all the while mumbling something like "I'm gonna stick a lightning bolt so far up your..." or something like that due to his annoyance with Ralph. Since Ralph was looking, Barry had to move at normal speed. Ralph just joked about the mugger being reformed since he "left his gun."
Team Flash's search for The Flash's mystery foe named DeVoe (heh, it rhymes) has been fruitless. So, Harry gathered some of the brightest minds of the multiverse to help them with their search. Cisco was there for the meeting. As it turned out, Harry's group of "friends" were just other versions of him. They were gonna communicate using multiverse holo-projectors.
Harry turned on the projector and started with the introductions. "From Earth-12, holder of 4 PhDs, author of the book Everything is Meaningless, So Why Did I Buy This Book?, I give you Herr Harrison Wolfgang Wells."
Harrison Wolfgang Wells appeared in a 3D holographic form. This version of Wells is German and had white combed hair.
"Guten Tag," Wolfgang Wells greeted.
"Guten Tag," Harry greeted, playing along.
"Do you know that it amuses me that you think that saving your tiny world matters when the entire multiverse will inevitable be consumed in a fiery heat death?" Wolfgang Wells said.
"Dess?" Cisco questioned, because Wolfgang Wells' pronunciation of death sounded like dess.
"That's what I said. Death," Wolfgang Wells said.
"Death," Harry said to Cisco, clarifying what Wolfgang Wells said.
"You are the little one they call Ciscar," said Wolfgang Wells, looking at the shorter man next to Harry.
"I'm 5'7''," said Cisco. "Guten Tag!"
Harry continues the introductions. "From Earth-47, I give you the billionaire, inventor, and publishing tycoon, general champion of speech, H. Lothario Wells."
H. Lothario Wells' hologram shows up. He has medium-length shaggy hair and wears a stylish red robe. He looked like he was occupied. He was talking to someone else about some "leopard print" stuff. Harry cleared his throat to capture his attention, and he did.
"Oh, golly. There you are," H. Lothario Wells started. "My apologies. It appears ya'll caught us red-handed here at the mansion on dress-up night. You know what they say. Intellect is the greatest aphrodisiac..."
"Ya, nobody says that," said Wolfgang Wells.
Cisco was feeling uncomfortable with all this, as seen by his awkward fake laugh.
Harry then introduces the final member of the meeting. "From the post-apocalyptic landscape of Earth-22, where man and machine have become one in order to survive, I give you Wells 2.0."
Wells 2.0's hologram appears. He wears military gear. The left half of his face, including his eye, as well as hands were replaced with machinery. His new eyepiece had a red glow, much like in sci-fi movies. He spoke in a deep, gravelly voice.
"Alright, let's make this quick," said Wells 2.0. "Reapers have raided our petrol supplies and stolen our water tanks. I'd like to smash them to bits."
"It's a party now," said H. Lothario Wells, excited that the whole gang is here.
Suddenly, another Wells entered the meeting. He looked like Gandalf the Grey from Lord of the Rings, complete with a grey robe, a grey pointy hat, long hair, long beard, and a staff.
"Forget not about me. It is I, Wells the Grey."
Harry turns off Wells the Grey's hologram.
"Bad connection," Harry said, coming up with an excuse.
"Good on you. That dude was strange," Wells 2.0 said as he ate what looks like a dead rat on a stick. The food he chews seems to go through a tube attached to the metal part of his face and transfers them to his mid-section.
Cisco started lecturing Harry about making friends with "himself," but Harry seems to think this is a good idea. Ando so, Cisco names them "Council of Wells," which Harry approved. They decided to return to discussing about finding DeVoe.
Cisco started. "Alright, guys. Here's how this is gonna..."
"Nein halt," Wolfgang Wells interrupted. "You're unnecessary. Also, you're not wanted, so off you go. Off you go. Off you go."
"Even I know when you got too many partners," said H. Lothario Wells.
"I may be half-machine, but you're all useless," Wells 2.0 grunted.
"Fine," said Cisco. He looks at Wells 2.0 and says, "You enjoy your roadkill. I'm gonna be eating my favorite chips."
"We had a Cisco on my Earth once," said Wells 2.0. "He was delicious."
"Ha!" Wolfgang Wells laughed, amused. "He ate the other Ciscar."
While Wolfgang Wells laughed in his own, odd way, Cisco grabbed his plate of chips and left. The Council of Wells was annoying him and disgusting him.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Central City, a metahuman named Mina Chaytan, a.k.a. Black Bison, was intercepting an armored vehicle that held one of three pieces of a bison necklace that belonged to the Sioux people. She had already killed one businessman who harbored the first piece. She brought to life a suit of armor to do it. She just had to find the other two.
Now, she brings to life a caveman statue inside the armored vehicle. It kills the guard inside and retrieves the second piece. The guard driving the vehicle was knocked out when the caveman opened the door at the wrong time.
The caveman gives Black Bison that piece of the necklace. Before she could get away, The Flash and Ralph showed up. Ralph was wearing a blue-grey leotard with a mask. The suit stretches when he does.
"Hello," Flash greeted. "Are you ready to go to jail?"
Black Bison said, "This doesn't belong in an auction house. It doesn't belong in someone's collection. It belongs to the Sioux people. My people."
"Mina, I know you've been through a lot," said Flash, trying to reason with her. "But this is not the way to..."
"I don't need to listen to men like you, Flash," Black Bison interrupted, ignoring the Scarlet Speedster. "A few weeks ago, something inside me changed. Changed for the better, for the more powerful. And now there's just the Black Bison."
The caveman grabs Flash and throws him away, away from its controller. While Flash fights the caveman, Black Bison gets in her car and drives away. Ralph puts one hand on the armored vehicle and grabs Black Bison's car's bumper with his other one, trying to stop her from getting away. His arm stretched more as Black Biston tried to break free from his grip.
The caveman whacks Flash with his club, sending him crashing to a pole. That pole was attached to a telephone line. The telephone wires started sparking and threatening to electrocute the bystanders nearby. The pole started to fall. A little girl tripped and was about to be crushed by the pole.
"Save her!" Flash yelled.
"But I can catch the meta," said Ralph, refusing to let Black Bison get away.
Flash tried to get up, but he was feeling too battered by the caveman to do move. Fortunately, Supergirl swoops in and grabs the girl before the pole could fall on her. She returns the girl to her family, who were happy to see that she was okay. Ralph manages to direct Black Bison towards another car, causing her to crash into it. Black Bison falls unconscious and the caveman she controlled turned back into a statue.
"Flash, are you okay?" Supergirl asked, offering her friend a hand.
"Well, I think I fractured a rib or two and my left knee was hit by a wooden club," Flash answered as he let his friend pull him up. "Thanks for coming."
"Sorry I was late. I had to help a little girl save her cat from a tree," said Supergirl.
Flash turns and faces Ralph, who was looking at the little girl who was almost hurt a few seconds ago. A part of him felt guilty for being responsible for her almost getting hurt.
"Our job is to protect people, Ralph. We always put them first, for their sake," said Flash. "We're lucky Supergirl showed up at the last second or that little girl would be in the hospital."
"Look, I'm sorry," Ralph apologized.
"I need you do better, Ralph," said Flash. "You want to be a hero, then you have to know what it really means to be one."
Back in S.T.A.R. Labs, Cisco returns to the Speed Lab to see Wolfgang Wells and Wells 2.0 arguing while Harry tried to maintain order in the meeting.
"Guys! Guys!" Harry shouted. "I think the best thing we can do is figure out what is DeVoe's goal, and from there..."
"Bah! It's a simple plan from a simple man," Wolfgang Wells scoffed.
"Why don't we use the Bates-Novik metod first?" Wells 2.0 suggested. "We determine why each meta developed their super powers, and then we smash them to bits."
"I've seen a lot of strange, but this takes all the cakes," Cisco muttered to himself, still bugged by the council's antics. "Okay, Council of Wells, how are we doing? Have we found our mystery foe yet?"
"No. We can't even agree on what methodology to use," said Harry.
"Wait, weren't there three of you?" Cisco asked, noticing that H. Lothario Wells was not present.
H. Lothario Wells' hologram returned. He seemed chipper and he was wearing a sailor's hat.
"Thanks for the merry-go-round, sweetheart. You know what I mean," said H. Lothario Wells, talking to somebody off-screen. Noticing that the council's meeting is still ongoing, he explains himself. "Sorry, I had to take care of some off-camera business..."
"OH, MY GOD!" Cisco reacted, horrified by the sight in front of him.
H. Lothario Wells' pants were down. Cisco and Harry had to cover the sight from their eyes.
"I can see your Frank and Beans," said Wolfgang Wells, telling the playboy Wells what is exposed.
"Come on, now. I do my best thinking commando. It's not like we all haven't seen it before," said H. Lothario Wells.
"I haven't seen it!" Cisco replied, still traumatized by the horrific sight.
And so, H. Lothario Wells did the world a favor. He pulls his pants up.
"Can we just get back to the task at hand? We need answers," said Harry.
"The best answer is always the simplest," said Wells 2.0. "Why don't we go to every DeVoe we can find and interrogate 'em?"
Wells 2.0 holds up a large blowtorch as a suggestion for an interrogation tool. Cisco was, once more, scared by the half-robotic Wells. Harry just rolls his eyes.
"Even the baby DeVoe?" H. Lothario Wells asked.
"Especially the baby DeVoe," Wells 2.0 answered darkly and seriously.
"Baby violence solves nothing," Wolfgang Wells said bluntly.
Tired of all the fighting and disagreements, Harry ends the meeting and turns off the multiverse holo-projector. Cisco, meanwhile, covers his eyes, trying to get the sight of H. Lothario Wells' "junk" out of his head.
"I think your junk has been burned into my brain," Cisco said, still covering his eyes.
"You're welcome," Harry said sarcastically.
It was a very long day for Team Flash. First, Black Bison escaped from CCPD using a tactical dummy armed with the latest police gear. Flash, Supergirl, and Ralph had to stop her from stealing the last piece of the necklace from Central City Museum. After a lengthy fight with a T-Rex skeleton, Flash manages to capture Black Bison by distracting her by throwing an artifact into the air, allowing him to cuff her quickly.
Barry and Kara visit Ralph in his P.I. office to speak to him.
"So, The Flash told me all about what happened at the museum. You chose to save a guard from a T-Rex and let Mina go," Barry said.
"Yeah, well, just like you said, protect people first," said Ralph.
"Well, I say you got the makings of a hero," said Kara.
"Thanks, 33-26-35," Ralph said, giving Kara's measurements.
Kara punches Ralph hard on the shoulder, feeling disturbed by his bad habit. Ralph was surprised that it hurt, considering his powers prevent him from being hurt.
"Ow," Ralph cried.
"Don't do that again," Kara warned him.
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ FLASH ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
Barry and Kara head back to Kara's apartment building, planning to watch Les Miserables, the musical remake, to be specific. The two bake popcorn. While they wait for the corn to pop, Kara decides to talk to Barry.
"It just keeps getting better and better every day here," Kara said happily.
"That's good to hear," said Barry.
"Except for Ralph. I don't really like him," Kara said bluntly.
"I feel you," Barry said with empathy. "But we can't change him. We can only change how he views the superhero life."
"How's Iris?" Kara asked.
"We're trying to be okay," said Barry. "But she's better at being professional than I am."
"She's just trying to hide her pain," said Kara.
"All this because my heart is split," said Barry.
"Well, you're talking to someone who knows what it feels like," said Kara. "I still have feelings for Mon-El. I still love James. But I also lo... like you."
"Lo or like?" Barry teased, knowing what Kara was about to say.
"What do you mean? I don't know what you mean. I don't even know what I mean," Kara babbled, pretending to be confused.
"Kara, I told you. It doesn't matter how you feel about me. It won't change anything between us," said Barry. "You and me, we'll always be who we've been from Day One, and I will forever be happy to have you in my life."
Kara smiled and, for some reason, slowly leaned closer. A gentle kiss was planted on Barry's lips. Afterwards, Kara felt awkward while Barry smiled.
"Mystery solved," said Barry. "You're an amazing kisser."
Back at S.T.A.R. Labs, Harry and Cisco attempt to reassemble the Council of Wells. The only reason, besides looking for DeVoe, as to why they're doing is because Cisco gave Harry some advice about friendship. Treat yourself with compassion, and then treat others with the same compassion.
"It appears that Simple Harry has come to insult us even more," Wolfgang Wells assumed.
"I didn't call to insult. I called to... apologize," said Harry.
"Apologize?" Wells 2.0 questioned. "Apologizing is punishable by banishment under Krung the Face Crusher."
"Look, I know you guys prefer to work alone. You don't want to work with other people. You think you're so smart, you can push them away. I can say that because I'm one of you," said Harry. "But if we're going to find our DeVoe, we have to work together. As... friends."
"Friendship is a baseless concept," said Wells 2.0. Being half-machine and living in a post-apocalyptic world does things to you.
"Just hear me out. I'm sure we can all find something we like in one another," said Harry. "Like you, Wells 2.0, you're clearly very resourceful and strong." He looks at H. Lothario Wells and says, "And you, you're very charismatic. I'm sure you can add top talent to your research teams." He looks at Wolfgang Wells and says, "And you, Herr Wells, you're very... blunt."
"Yeah, obviously," Wolfgang Wells said bluntly.
"So, can we just try to get along?" Harry suggested. "Work out your issues with one another."
H. Lothario Wells faces Wolfgang Wells and says, "Look, I'm sorry, man. I just thought you were too judgmental for your own good and you're a major killjoy and your theory on the behavioral upbringings of nano-serial killers was un-chill. The last thing was uncalled for. I guess I just think we could all lighten up some time. Just like Harry said. I'm charismatic. I mean, nothing wrong with spreading some love, am I right?"
"I am just simply implying that a man who wrote a theory on narcotics in molecular psychiatry is stupider than a theory by tiny babies. I guess that was uncalled for as well," said Wolfgang Wells, referring to H. Lothario Wells' theory. "I suppose I am someone you can consider indifferent and concerned about the negatives of everything. I guess I have forgotten that a brilliant man must observe all sides of everything, not just the bad side... and maybe even the best minds could lighten up a bit, as you say."
H. Lothario Wells looks at Wells 2.0 and says, "And I'm digging the whole creepy half-man, half metal vibe you got goin' on."
"My world is nothing but ash," Wells 2.0 said. "We fight to survive every single day and we lose a part of ourselves every single day. That is why I say friendship is meaningless. But I guess, allies are beneficial. Allies teach you respect. And I really respect that each one of you... has two eyes."
"Okay, we all agree on something. That's great. So, I hereby reconvene the Council of Wells," said Harry. "Now, about our DeVoe..."
"Perhaps if we were to combine the Bates-Novik method of our mutant friend here..." Wolfgang Wells said, referring to the cyborg Wells. "... with my models of statistical elimination."
"I'll do you one more. Maybe we could enhance your elimination model with a psycho profile based on DeVoe's previous actions. I could whip up a predictive algorithm," H. Lothario Wells suggested.
"Run it through my quantum cerebral chip. We'll find him in no time," said Wells 2.0.
"I'm starting to see why you called these guys," Cisco said to Harry, now feeling impressed by the idea of a council.
The next morning, the Council of Wells have found the DeVoe that Team Flash has been looking for. Harry and Cisco called everyone to come to S.T.A.R. Labs to see what the council has done. Barry, Iris, Kara, and Joe have arrived, but Caitlin has yet to appear.
Caitlin was five minutes out, making a private phone call.
"Winter is on the way, and the Snow Queen has come to play."
Caitlin sighs, annoyed.
"Relax, Snow. It's just a bit of clever wordplay. Learn to lighten up."
"Just listen to me," said Caitlin. "Flash and Friends have found DeVoe. The DeVoe who is destined to be one of Barry's greatest enemies."
"Well, well, well. That was fast."
"No kidding," Caitlin replied, slightly amused by the speed pun. "It means we have to move up our timetable. It's time to dig up some dirt and feed it to the enemy."
"Consider it done. What should I tell the others?"
"Tell them that it's time for some early Christmas shopping," said Caitlin. "The holidays are about to be quite festive for us."
I'm sure you remember how this episode ended. Team Flash visit the DeVoes and find Clifford DeVoe on a wheelchair. Well, we'll be continuing this story next time. Maybe in the Supergirl part, since Supergirl is still on Earth-1.
Speaking of which, what do you think so far about Kara being on Earth-1?
It may be too soon for Barry and Kara to start a romance since it's only been (in this timeline) a week since Barry and Iris broke up and he's still broken about it, but I'm trying my best. To handle emotions realistically (up to an extent) while not being afraid to do what I want to do.
Just for the record, I really hate Ralph's habit of saying women's measurements out loud. It's inappropriate and NOT funny at all. I just put it here so Kara can punch him. A scolding glare from Barry wasn't enough for me.
As for the Council of Wells, one complaint about them is that they're too goofy. Personally, I couldn't bring myself to make them more serious because I just love them too much. All I could do was give them extra lines of dialogue in their final scene to flesh them out just a little bit. Give Wolfgang Wells a moment of self-realization. Give H. Lothario Wells some understanding on the effects of his behavior. Gives Wells 2.0 an opening up moment, sharing his pain.