OMG this isn't a deadfic?! I know apologies seem empty and futile, but I really am sorry for going (what's it been?) three whole freaking months without updating. I honestly was so sick of the story and had absolutely no motivation. Over the past few weeks I've been slowly working on this chapter, and I finally wrote the last half of it. Anyway, this is officially off hiatus!

DISCLAIMER: Hmm… Maybe I do own Kingdom Hearts. It'd explain why the third installation is taking so long to come out.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: REGRETS

Sora pulled away, cursing. He turned his back to Riku, apologizing hurriedly in a voice that sounded almost ashamed.

"Shit. I… I don't… We got carried away. You almost died and I…" he murmured, refusing to meet Riku's eyes. "We can't… I mean… Kairi."

Riku frowned. Sora was rarely this inarticulate unless he was struggling with something deeply internal. Perhaps he shouldn't have acted so quickly, shouldn't have allowed himself to drop all rational thought for a few moments of satisfaction. Why had he made such a selfish move? The close proximity of death, sure… but that wasn't a very good excuse, especially considering how often death crept up on them. Sora didn't know that Kairi's feelings for him had changed… and what if he was still conflicted with being in love with both of them?

"Sora, I'm sorry," he said. "I don't know why-"

"Look," he turned around slowly, meeting Riku's eye with hesitation. "I can't hurt Kairi. I just can't."

Riku frowned. It wasn't his place to tell Sora that Kairi didn't love him anymore. For the moment he would have to feign ignorance and act as though his advance had been a mistake on all fronts. But then again, Sora had reciprocated…

"Yeah," he nodded. It took his utmost sense of control to not blurt out the conversation he and Kairi had had the night before. It wasn't his place to tell Sora that. Even if she wasn't romantically involved with either of them, she was still a critical part of their friendship, of their destiny. Riku wouldn't have had it any other way.

"Riku! Sora!" the boys whipped around to see a frantic Kairi running toward them. She stopped a few feet away, slightly out of breath from her run.

"Where are Edward and Giselle?" asked Riku.

"Hiding out in a building a few blocks away," she explained. "How'd you get rid of that Heartless so quickly?

Sora glared at Riku, but didn't say anything.

"Riku, what'd you do?" Kairi picked up on the subtlety.

"I, uh…" he might as well say it. With Kairi's nagging it would come out eventually. "I may have used a really powerful Dark Aura spell against it…"

Kairi narrowed her eyes, her expression growing sour as she marched at Riku, grabbing the neck of his shirt into her clenched fist. "What the hell were you thinking? You don't know what those powers could lead to! You haven't trained using them in so long, and the fact that they just randomly reappeared doesn't scare you?"

He sighed exasperatedly, more annoyed by her demeanor than anything else. "I didn't see another option! I put my Keyblade through its brain, and it didn't die!" Riku doubted he would ever lose fascination with this anomaly.

"Huh. Really?" she was momentarily distracted by the stunning piece of information. Kairi let go of his shirt and stepped back. "I've got to admit, that thing was, well, kinda badass."

"So I'm forgiven?"

"Yeah, like I'd give up that easily," she rolled her eyes. "But… I guess I can forgive you this once, since it saved so many lives and all."

"Thanks, Kairi. I'm eternally grateful."

She led them back to the small restaurant that Edward and Giselle had used as a hiding place. As they entered, Riku found a twisted sense of amusement at the people hiding under tables and booths. One particularly wiry man had even managed to squeeze into the corner of the narrow bar.

Edward darted out from under one of the tables, approaching the three at a sprint. "Is it over?"

Sora nodded. "Yeah, we took care of it. It's gone for good."

The people began to glance around, sticking their heads out from under their shelters warily.

"I wouldn't take my guard down just yet though," warned Riku. "That thing could've just been the beginning. They might try to attack us again. Releasing that monster might have just been a way of locating and injuring us."

A short, slightly chubby man stood up from behind the bar. "So… you're saying that wasn't the worst of it?"

"It could've been," said Kairi. "But it's more than likely that they'll send something - or someone - a lot more deadly the second time around. And trust me; these people don't care about collateral damage."

The man's eyes widened, his head disappearing behind the bar once again.

"But who are they after?" asked Giselle, appearing from under one of the tables. "You three? Edward?"

"Definitely us three, from, you know, 'meddling with the worlds' too much," explained Sora. The people in the bar had already witnessed an unexplainable, terrifying creature, but upon blurting out his response, he realized he probably should have kept that bit of information about other worlds a secret. Damn, he was really bad at the whole sanctity thing. "Probably Edward, if Narissa's afraid he'll usurp the throne and-"

"Peasant, Narissa is not behind this misdeed!" Edward lashed out, removing his sword from its sheath once again. Riku sighed. This guy really had to work on his anger issues.

"Whoa, whoa, calm down!" Sora exclaimed, backing away from the sharp blade. "Narissa and Maleficent are the reason we're all here in the first place! She sent Giselle spiraling down that well and I had no choice but to jump down to make sure she was okay. They're working together!"

"You're… certain of this?" Edward asked skeptically.

"Of course I'm sure; I saw it with my own eyes!"

"He's telling the truth, Prince Edward," said Giselle, her voice quiet. "I witnessed the same events."

He lowered his sword. "I have difficulty believing… my aunt could do such a thing. But you helped defeat that terrible monster, Sora, did you not?"

"Yeah."

"And Giselle, you're as fair a maiden as I've ever met. I feel as though I can trust you…"

She nodded, but spoke no words.

Edward pursed his lips as though he couldn't think of anything to say. "I… but… I feel as though acting against Narissa would be a crime of treason. She's queen after all, at least until I find a bride and claim my seat on the throne."

"Edward, listen to me," said Kairi, grabbing his wrist and commanding his complete attention. "I think Narissa and Maleficent might see your involvement in this as a way to get rid of you in the process. She doesn't want you to become king; she wants to rule the kingdom on her own."

"That… sounds ludicrous," he countered. "Narissa is such a thoughtful, giving person. She would never do anything to harm me."

"Some people are really good at acting," Sora shrugged. "You'd be surprised."

"Just a moment," Edward said uneasily. "Let's assume that your theory is correct. Will she and Maleficent attack us here? Or will they expect us to return to Andalasia?"

"I had a thought on that," Kairi proposed. "A lot of times destroying a powerful enemy like that Heartless allows you to seal a keyhole and travel to other worlds. If we go back to our starting point, maybe we can seal this world and open that portal. Then she won't be able to attack New York again."

"Hmm…" Riku considered. "It's not the worst idea I've ever heard."

"Thanks a lot," Kairi snickered. "It's good to know you have so much faith in me."

With that, the trio, Giselle, and Edward left the small restaurant. No doubt its refugees would wonder for the rest of their lives just what, exactly, had taken place as they watched with astounded horror.

"We came in through a manhole in Times Square," said Sora. "Anyone know how to get there?"

"Of course," Kairi grinned, removing the obnoxious map from her pocket.

Riku was not in the least bit surprised that she had remembered to grab it before they headed out that morning. However, he kept his mouth shut since it had done them more good than harm. The only problem was that instead of just looking like an eccentric group, they now looked like an eccentric group of tourists.

Using her index finger as a guide, Kairi led them down streets and across intersections until they reached the street through which they had entered New York. Riku frowned as they stopped on the walkway. There was no way they were going to be able to get five people to the middle of the street and down the manhole without causing a disruption, let alone a couple of casualties.

"Um. Well. This is a problem," Kairi frowned, her map drooping.

"If it's of any assistance," began Edward. "I've discovered that the yellow carriages are particularly ruthless."

Riku laughed, hoping Edward didn't honestly believe cars were alive.

"Maybe we can go in small groups?" suggested Giselle.

"Hmm…" Sora considered. "I might be able to lift the manhole for a second if I use an Aeroga spell on it. But it's heavy, so you guys'll have to be quick."

He waited for a brief letup in the seemingly endless traffic, summoning his Keyblade and directing an Aeroga spell at the manhole cover. He let out a spirited 'Yes!' as the cover levitated for about ten seconds.

"Okay, you guys can do this, but you'll have to be quick," Sora instructed. "Kairi, Riku, take them across. I'll follow when I'm done."

After waiting several minutes for another break in traffic, Riku and Giselle ran to the middle of the street as Sora cast Aeroga on the manhole cover once again. He hurried Giselle down the ladder, managing to squeeze in just before it came slamming down. They stood in the murky sewage for several minutes before the manhole opened once more and Edward and Kairi climbed into the sewers. Finally Sora made his move, entering just before a car swept away both him and the cover.

"Now that we're all here, shouldn't- Oh!"

Kairi's words were cut short as both her and Riku's Keyblades materialized in their hands. Sora's was already glowing. Riku watched in amazement as their weapons directed themselves toward the dark space in front of them. Instead of forming to a keyhole, however, a bright light shot from each blade and formed a portal of white light. Keeping his Keyblade steady, Riku looked to his friends. Kairi nodded, taking a bold step toward the portal. Sora followed in suit, his expression determined. Riku took a deep breath, his body lurching forward as the familiar sensation of being pulled into another world overtook him. He landed roughly on his feet, stumbling forward as the familiar fountain spewed him out. Sora landed nearby, falling ungracefully onto his knees. Kairi fell over him with a slight shriek of pain, brushing herself off as she stood. Giselle somehow managed the most elegant return, while Edward landed flat on his face. It all would have been quite comical, really, if their situation hadn't been so grave.

"You were right," smiled Sora, looking at the courtyard around him. "Way to go, Kairi."

"Hey, I have a good idea or two up my sleeve," she smirked, but grew serious quickly. "Listen, I'm sure Narissa and Maleficent are nearby, but I doubt they expect us. Giselle, Edward, you should hide out until we've finished this."

"But I must aid in the fight; it's my duty!" Edward exclaimed, his voice valiant.

"This guy really needs to tone down the whole chivalry thing," Sora whispered so that only Riku could hear.

"Um… Listen, Edward… I'm not sure that's such a good idea," frowned Riku. "She's probably more powerful than you can imagine. We'll handle it, just-"

"What, you find me incompetent?" Edward accused. "You don't believe I would be of any help?"

"But… but Edward, who will protect me if they fail?" asked Giselle. "You wouldn't let me hide away by myself, would you?"

Edward bowed down, taking Giselle's hand in his and placing a kiss on it. "Certainly not; what was I thinking? Of course I'll accompany you."

Giselle smiled, winking at the three. Apparently she had picked up a thing or two in the short time she had been away from Andalasia.

"I'll shoot a lightning spell into the air when it's over, okay? That'll be your signal," instructed Sora.

Giselle and Edward bid them goodbye, wishing them luck as they hurried away from the castle. Keyblade drawn, Riku looked from Sora to Kairi, their expressions equally as grave as his own. Fully intent on their purpose, the three approached the lofty castle. Riku kept a tight grip on Way to Dawn. If Maleficent was there, he was determined to get rid of her once and for all. Years ago she had severed every friendship he knew, alienated him from the people he cared about, poisoned his mind, even his heart… perhaps even irreparably. He could still feel some of that blackness lingering… not the Darkness that he, Kairi, and Sora all possessed, but something deeper. He felt it every time he used dark magic, with every spell, every malevolent thought that crept into his mind. And it was all because of those lies he had been told years before. Perhaps if he could get rid of Maleficent - really destroy her - those lingering shards would finally disappear.

His eyes pierced into those of Narissa as they entered the hall of the castle. She sat upon her throne, expression stoic, her creviced, aging face glowering at her opponents. She stood after they had only taken a few steps, approaching them in a cool, collected manner.

"I see you kids made it back from your vacation to the big city," she laughed, toying with the staff in her hand.

Riku grumbled inwardly. He hated small talk to begin with. Villainous small talk was even worse. A battle was inevitable; why did they always insist on spewing out some all-important monologue that no one but themselves cared about?

"But what happened to that little maiden from the forest?" Narissa asked, her face askew with a mocking sadness. "Was reality just a little too harsh for her? Or did the prince find her and now they're living happily ever after in some roach-infested tenement?"

"What's wrong with you?" Sora scowled. "You don't even care that your own nephew-"

"Step-nephew…" she droned lazily. "No blood relation, thank goodness. Otherwise I would've felt just horrible about the whole thing!"

Had Riku been less transfixed with hatred upon the rogue queen, he would have noticed the anger stemming from Kairi. Her face turned beet red, her eyes narrowed, her hand clenched tightly around her Keyblade. And before Riku and Sora could protest, she was darting toward the queen, a look of fuming determination on her face.

"I don't think so," said Narissa, raising her hand and stopping Kairi with an invisible wall of force. She staggered backward, the impact stunning her slightly.

"You haven't been at this as long as them; I can tell," Narissa shook her head. "Absolutely no battle etiquette."

Riku sighed impatiently. All villains were the same, weren't they?

"See, I know how powerful you three are," Narissa tapped her fingers. "And I don't intend to make the same mistake so many others have. Three against one… I don't like my odds. Don't you think I should level the playing field?"

Narissa waved her staff in a circle, engulfing herself in a thick, cloudy whirlwind. It swirled around her, growing bigger and bigger as she took on the form of another.

"She's transforming…" Sora groaned. "I hate when they transform…"

The whirlwind slowly dispersed, leaving them in the presence of a fierce, gnarling dragon. She took up over half of the large hall, craning her neck toward Riku, Kairi, and Sora as she snarled threateningly.

"Really, a dragon?" Sora almost sounded bored. "Yeah, that's so original. I definitely don't feel like I've ever fought this battle before… Taking some advice from your cousin?"

Narissa breathed out a heavy streak of fire, nearly striking Sora. He jumped out of the way a moment before it singed his shoulder. Apparently she had decided their verbal banter was over.

"Okay, guys," said Sora, talking rapidly as they evaded attacks. "I've done this before. Try to stay away from her head, but that's also probably her only weak point. Long-range magic spells are our best bet. Oh! And watch the feet!"

With that, Sora ran around the side of the dragon, grabbing the thick scales and jumping onto her back. She leered in retaliation, attempting to shake Sora off. He gripped the spikes on her back, struggling to keep his balance.

Seeing his exertion, Kairi fired a Blizzara spell at Narissa's head. It stunned her for a moment. Riku followed her example and raised a hand, gathering dark energy to create the destructive aura he knew would cause her damage. As the small orb formed in front of his hand, a piercing pain surged through his chest. Riku buckled over, his vision growing blurry. He grunted as fire ripped across his leg, Narissa taking advantage of his weakened condition. Riku reached into his pocket, pulling out a strong potion and guzzling it as quickly as he could.

Warming relief ran across his body and healed his wounds. Despite Sora's warning, he charged at the beast's head, striking her between the eyes. She snarled in retaliation as Riku dodged her vicious teeth. Sora and Kairi's spells bombarded her head as Riku forced her to spend all of her energy trying to get rid of him. For a moment he imagined that he was a fly buzzing around her head, distracting her just enough that she couldn't concentrate on harming Sora and Kairi.

But the battle was too much. He was only human, and as such, bound to slip up at some point. With one wrong dodge, Narissa's head collided with his body, sending him flying across the room and crashing into the stone wall. She rolled over suddenly, knocking Sora off her back and nearly crushing him. He rolled just in time, but she managed to pick him up in her talon-like hands, his arms clasped helplessly at his sides.

Riku tried to get up, but his battered limbs refused to move. He could only watch the events progress. Sora tried to free himself from the dragon's grasp, but her claws were too powerful. His face was skewed in pain as though her grip were slowly crushing him.

She seemed to be using Sora as bait to get to Kairi. Every time she fired a spell, Narissa attempted to block the attack with Sora. Kairi, however, didn't let it get to her. She continued to cast Blizzara, guzzling the occasional ether when she needed it. Despite the fact that she wasn't using the most powerful of Blizzard spells, she seemed to be using it in a very concentrated and controlled manner. They snaked by Sora every time, hitting Narissa with exceptional accuracy. The dragon was weakening. Her movements became slower, her speed reduced. Narissa's actions were more sloppy with each of Kairi's attacks. With a look of determination, Kairi fired one final spell, striking the dragon straight in the eye. She toppled over backward, crashing to the ground and shaking the hall as her lifeless body disappeared into the whirlwind that had transformed it in the first place.

Kairi stood between Riku and Sora, glancing to each rapidly as though she didn't know who to tend to first. She cast a low-grade Cure spell on Riku (he guessed she didn't have much magic left). It was enough for him to rise and stumble toward her.

"You okay?" she asked, her voice shaky.

Riku nodded as they turned their attention to Sora. He writhed in pain, short, spastic breaths coming from his crumpled body.

"She crushed him," Kairi whispered as she ran to Sora's side. She cradled his head in her arms, and he did not protest nor show any discomfort in being moved. She took a small bottle from her pocket and uncapped it, raising it to his lips and urging him to drink the green liquid.

He slowly sipped the potion, gaining back small amounts of his health with every gulp. When he was finished, however, the potion had done little to alleviate his pain.

Riku knelt down on the other side of Sora and handed Kairi one of his own potions. "Try this."

She poured the second bottle into Sora's mouth, watching in amazement as his bruises disappeared and gashes mended. Looking shaken but nonetheless healthy, Sora spoke. "Thanks, guys."

"I'm sorry, Sora," Kairi frowned. "I should have had more powerful potions on me. I don't know why I didn't switch them…"

"Don't worry about it," he said, attempting to stand on newly-repaired legs. "You were great out there. Really."

"Amazing," Riku smiled as Sora cast Curaga on the group. "We'd both be dead if it weren't for you."

She smiled shyly and looked at the ground. Kairi had never been good at taking compliments, no matter how well-deserved they were. "Thanks, guys… Shouldn't we let Giselle and Edward know that everything's okay?"

They walked back out to the courtyard, and Sora fired Thundaga in the air to let them know of their victory. Within minutes Edward and Giselle scampered through the castle gates, beaming as their eyes met the victors.

"You've done it!" Giselle exclaimed, embracing each of them in thanks. Riku tensed up as she hugged him, afraid that her infatuation still lingered. "Oh, calm down. It was only a hug of gratitude."

"You sure about that?" Riku laughed uneasily. "Because a couple of days ago…"

"That was different," she shrugged, her eyes darting briefly to Sora. "I know the truth now."

He wanted to ask her what, exactly, she meant, but kept his mouth shut in the presence of the others.

"Andalasia thanks you," said Edward. "And, as successor to the throne, I would like to grant you any wish you desire."

"Thanks, but… We're just happy to help, really," shrugged Sora. "It'd be great if you gave us a place to rest up for a day, but other than that-"

"Granted," Edward nodded.

An inner contentment washed over Riku. It was the first time since they had began their adventure that he felt as though they had made everything right, placed every aspect back to its equitable position. He wandered back into the castle, following behind the others. His mind was, if only for a moment, in peace.

Sora stood on the balcony of the large chamber Edward had given them to rest. He looked out at the countryside, marveling at how everything could appear to be so perfect. And yet he knew that in that so-called perfection lurked cancers, rotting limbs, jaundiced eyes… every evil he could imagine. It could never be weeded out completely. Just as the Darkness in his heart could never be fully quelled, the Darkness of the worlds would continue to plague him for the rest of his life.

"You've got that look on your face," said Kairi, appearing at his shoulder. She looked around the railing, suspicious eyes on his.

"What look?" he asked, snapping back to reality.

"That look that tells me you're a million miles away," she leaned her elbows over the railing.

"Yeah, well… My mind wanders, I guess," he shrugged, a guilty twinge coming over him in the finally still atmosphere. Oh, God. He had kissed Riku. They'd kept up their promise to keep away from each other for what, a week? It was inexcusable, pathetic. His eyes snapped away from hers as though they weren't worthy of looking into those of the girl who had, mere hours ago, saved his life.

But he couldn't say anything to Kairi. Despite her toughened exterior, he knew she was still conflicted with an inner turmoil that had begun when she first returned to Radiant Garden. Sora doubted anyone could get over such a shock that quickly. So despite the fact that his conscious screamed out, begging him to tell Kairi the truth, Sora kept the information to himself. He knew that using Kairi's emotions was a useless scapegoat, but if he thought about it long enough, maybe he could convince himself of its legitimacy.

"We're leaving tomorrow morning, then?" she asked.

"We probably should," said Sora. "I usually only like to stay in a place long enough to recover. The longer we sit around, the more damage they cause."

"Where do you think Maleficent is?"

Sora shrugged. "Who knows? She must've had a lot of faith in her cousin's ability. Either that or she didn't think we'd be able to get back. She's always severely overestimated her allies and underestimated her enemies."

"I wish she'd been here."

Sora turned his head to see Riku standing at the doorway, eyes staring into the distance, drenched in hatred. He knew that Riku possessed a long-standing vendetta against Maleficent, the one who had led him on the path to Darkness those years before.

"We'll get her; don't worry," assured Sora. "There's no way she's getting away this time."

"Don't be so quick to underestimate her," said Riku. "I know you defeated her once, but keep in mind she managed to somehow claw her way back. And if we had that much trouble with Narissa, I'll bet Maleficent's ten times worse."

"Maybe we wouldn't have had so much trouble if someone would practice regular spells rather than relying on dark magic all the time," Kairi glared at him, the worry on her brow visible despite her criticism.

"I'm gonna have to agree with Kairi on this one," Sora admitted. "Dark Aura did nothing but hurt you today. Also made my 'stay away from her head' advice completely obsolete."

"Hey, we beat her, didn't we?" Riku argued lamely.

"Yeah, thanks to Kairi," Sora said gravely.

"Listen," Kairi approached Riku, putting a hand on his arm. "I know Sora's crap at teaching magic-"

"Hey!"

"Well, you are!" she defended. "You have no patience for it whatsoever! I know my spells aren't as powerful as his yet, but maybe I can teach you some mid-grade magic at least."

"Well, I dunno… Maybe," Riku conceded.

Sora shook his head. Riku had never been good at accepting areas in which he could improve. He seemed more willing to admit his shortcomings to Kairi than he was to Sora though. He supposed the constant competition in their younger years had left them both defensive of their own abilities.

"Great!" she exclaimed. "I just have to prepare. Meet me in the courtyard in half an hour?"

"Hey! I never agreed to-"

"Sounds good; I'll see you there!"

With that Kairi left them standing on the balcony. Riku stared dumfounded at the door through which she had exited. "How'd she do that?"

Sora laughed. "I guess Kairi doesn't wait for answers anymore. She cuts you off and leaves before you can get out a rational response. Looks like you're stuck."

Riku frowned. "I owe it to her anyway, after… you know. And even if she isn't… I still feel like scum."

"You feel like scum?" Sora asked. "I was her boyfriend for over a year. What kind of person does something like that?"

Riku bit his lip as though he were struggling to keep his thoughts to himself. "Are you still in love with her?"

"God, Riku… I don't know…" Sora's voice was drenched in regret. "It just seems like no matter how much we try to uncomplicate this situation, it keeps getting worse."

"We're human. I guess that's what happens," Riku frowned.

"Along with being horrible and selfish," Sora ran his hand along the balcony railing absentmindedly. "I feel like we should tell her, but if we do she'll just tell us to get back together and pretend to be happy for us no matter how much she's hurting. That's what Kairi does."

"So we're just not going to say anything until the guilt makes us blurt something out?" Riku laughed, but there was no humor in his tone. "Hope everything resolves itself on its own? I mean, it was only a kiss…"

"Rationalizing much?"

"I thought that was the point of this whole conversation."

Riku left Sora to his thoughts once more, which, lately had been proving to be a dangerous thing. He loved traveling with Kairi and Riku, but it was times like this that made him realize just how much living like this - assuming the roll of heroes and trying to be selfless while still retaining some sense of normalcy - had caused his personal life more problems than he could have imagined. He had been overjoyed to leave Destiny Islands all those months ago, glad that the two people he cared about the most were finally accompanying him. That liking for their comradery never left him, but he knew his current situation would have sounded completely impossible to the Sora who flew their ship off of Destiny Islands that day.

He sighed. Perhaps life wasn't meant to have resolution. As the sun began to shadow itself behind the horizon, Sora left the balcony, hoping the next world would bring him the peace of mind he had been missing for so long.

No I don't thrive on UST, what are you talking about?

I have a lot of ideas for what world I want to take them next, I'm just not entirely sure about what order and everything. I have an, uh, interesting idea for one of the worlds that I'd like to test out. We'll see though.

Again, I'm so sorry for going so long without an update. Thank you so much for being patient with my slacker self!