So Tim is wrestling with so much here, guilt, anger, loneliness, not being good enough, I feel like they've left a lot of things unsaid but it's Tony and Tim, half the time they don't even need to speak to understand what the other is thinking or feeling. Tony seems to have brought Tim back up to the surface and now maybe he can begin to come to terms with things a little better, fixing what is broken between him and Gibbs and everyone else may take a little longer than expected and maybe a little more input from Tony, especially on the Gibbs front. Bit foggy on dates for ages so it was a bit of a stab in the dark for Tali but I figured Tim needed a bit more of a nudge before he would properly listen to what Tony had to say. Thanks for reading guys!
"Tim,"
"Delilah tell you what happened at the scene? Seems like she told you everything else." Tim snapped, cutting him off.
"What? No, what scene?"
"Not surprising, not exactly something you'd go bragging about, your boyfriend going probie after fourteen years on the job." Tim snorted.
"McGee what the hell are you talking about? What did you do?"
"Hesitated, would've got myself killed if it wasn't for Reeves, though Gibbs didn't seem to think it was a big deal." He gritted.
"Tim are you serious?"
"Don't blame him, I'd be embarrassed to have an agent like that on my team too. Ducky gave him what for and Grace said he was wrong for it, didn't surprise me though, less paperwork for him."
"McGee!"
Tim glared at him, pain masked behind the anger in his eyes. This was worse than he had anticipated. The was bad. Tim needed help.
"Tim,"
Tony was interrupted this time by Tali stretching a fist into his face and sitting bolt upright at the unfamiliar room she was in.
"Abba." She nestled her head into Tony's neck when she realised she was still in his arms and yawned again. "Abba."
"Hey Tali, did you sleep good?" Tony smiled.
Tali nodded her head into him and attempted to curl into a ball. Tim watched, feeling less angry as the seconds went by and more guilty for accusing Tony of ditching them when things were tough. Tony had been thrown a curve ball in the form of the two-year-old opposite and Tim couldn't have said he would have handled it any better. Tony met his gaze and offered a small smile.
"Hey Tali," he bounced her up in his arms so she looked at him. "Why don't you say hi?" he grinned, nodding to Tim.
Tali whipped her head around to see him and rubbed her eyes sleepily before breaking into a smile and waving a small hand in the air.
"Hi Uckle Tim."
Tim thought his heart might melt. Her thick with sleep, slightly accented words brought him momentarily out of the dark and he found himself choked with emotion.
"Hey Tali." He breathed when he eventually found his voice.
Tony was watching the exchange with a great deal of interest. He had never told Tim he was teaching Tali to call him Uncle, she had already vaguely recognised him from some photos- another sign Ziva had at least mentioned them to her- and Tony was determined that once he was back in DC, whenever that might have been, Tim would be a crucial part of Tali's life. She had family here and he wasn't about to let her forget it.
Before Tim could object Tony had passed her off to him and settled into the chair Grace had vacated earlier. Tony fished Kelev out of the backpack and she settled comfortably against Tim's chest, yawning once again. Tim gripped her tight to him and watched her every move carefully.
"Think she likes you Uncle Tim." Tony smiled as Tali blinked heavily and turned her face into him.
Tim brushed her hair from her face and attempted to smile back.
"Uncle Tim."
"Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"
Tony watched him struggle to comprehend his new title. It did indeed roll nicely off the tongue and the way Tali could barely pronounce Uncle made it all the more adorable. He was worried though that Tim had gone from looking like he was about to kill someone to looking like he was about to burst into tears.
"Tim, I didn't mean to get at you before. I know I can't imagine the stuff that's gone on while I haven't been here and I know Gibbs has been a jerk, I just thought that we had something, that you would confide in me when things got tough. You know what you've done is reckless and stupid, not exactly surprising given everything that happened and what you've said but seriously Tim, do you know how much it would hurt me if something happened to you? You're like my brother Tim, I hate that you've been dealing with all of this alone anyway but the drinking, the not sleeping, what could have happened at the scene is really serious McGee, and everyone's right, Gibbs was not right to do nothing, I'm not surprised Ducky flipped at him because really, that is just beyond stupid. It's hard to see you like this and know that you kept it from me for so long. It sounds cheesy but I love you Tim, you're my best friend and I hate seeing you like this."
Tim didn't once take his eyes off Tali while Tony spoke, his voice low and hushed to accommodate the flagging toddler between them.
"I didn't know how to tell you." Tim whispered back.
Tim sounded so defeated, so beaten and worn down that for once in his life Tony couldn't think of anything to say back.
"I never knew Gibbs well enough to do this. I thought he cared about us all but you leaving, something in him snapped, it was like he didn't know how to be with us anymore and I think I reminded him too much of everything. We lost Kate, we lost Ziva and now you were gone too and I was all that was left and I represented everything before. He's hurting and I get that but I was hurt too Tony, I loved Ziva, she was like a sister to me and I would have fought for her til the last breath. She didn't stand a chance and now, she's just gone and for what Tony?"
Tony contemplated a short while, watching Tim struggle with this all in his head, things he'd thought but never said. Always his downfall; thinking too much and not speaking enough.
"You know, I ask myself that every day. For that split second I wake up and I kid myself she's not gone, that she's still here, and then I remember everything about that day, seeing the bombing on the news, holding her necklace while I called her, my Dad going to my place to help me pack, you and Abby showing up at my door, yelling at Gibbs, yelling at my Dad, crying myself to sleep that night with her necklace still in my hand, then I get to the next day and I stop. Because I remember the one good thing that came out of it, the thing lying ten feet away from me in the next room in her pink pj's with Kelev wrapped in her arms, with her Mom's smile and my eyes and I remember that there was light amongst the dark, light in the form of that little girl in your arms McGee. There may not have been a reason, there never is, but there is something to hold onto, Tali."
Tim's eyes were wet again but this time were firmly locked on Tony's.
"She gave me purpose, and I know, we left and you didn't have that to hold on to but you always had us McGee, and I thought you and Gibbs would be closer for it. He does care Tim, it's just, he's Gibbs, and you're right, you two don't know each other or get each other as well as he and I did, or do, and you both, more so Gibbs, have a lot to do to make up for these past few months, but honestly, you have no idea how alike you are." Tony smirked. "It's amazing, for being such a smart guy you really don't know yourself all that well McGoo."
Tim smiled, a small one but it was still there. Tony moved the chair to sit next to him instead while Tim's expression turned grave once more.
"But with Kort, Tony I could've, I should've realised sooner, Kort-"
"Played all of us." Tony cut over. "Tim, what happened was not your fault. It was nobody's fault other than Kort's." Tony brought his hands to rest on Tim's shoulders. "Timmy, she would have been proud of what you've done, she wouldn't want you feeling guilty for it."
Tim felt his eyes fill again and quickly wiped away the tears before they fell.
"I miss her Tony."
"I know." Tony's voice was low, something about his pause after two words giving Tim the impression he too was on the verge of tears. "I miss her too."
Tony pulled him into a hug before he could say anything else and Tim broke on his shoulder. Tony hushed in his ear and stroked his hair as he sobbed, cracking a little and buried his head into Tim's as he cried too.
They sat that way, Tim with an arm wrapped around a soundly sleeping Tali and head on Tony's shoulder, until they had both regained enough composure to sit themselves straight again.
"I've been an ass to Delilah." Tim sniffed. "I've messed up so bad with everyone Tony. I don't know what to do."
"Well, you could start by buying me a coffee and a donut, I'm going to need both if we're going to be up much longer, then we can talk about the drinking thing," Tony narrowed his eyes at Tim's attempt to dismiss the problem. "Been there, said that McGee, don't even try. Then maybe we can think about all the ways you can make it up to everyone, and then after that, maybe you should try giving the number on the back of that card a call."