"it's a bad religion

to be in love with someone

who could never love you

only bad

only bad religion

could have me feeling the way i do"

-Bad Religion by Frank Ocean

Chapter XXI – Abandon.

The sky was ridden with rainclouds and Ahala held an umbrella over her head to keep the rain from ruining her new sundress. She was tempted to look over her shoulder for her mother – just one last time before stepping into the classroom – but figured that if she was going to do this, she would need to do it alone. For the first time in her life, she didn't need her mother or her father to help her – she could do this.

Steeling her five year old nerves, she hopped over a puddle and towards the doors of La Push Elementary. Kids, young and old alike, were flooding inside, and soon enough, Ahala found herself sucked into the void; she folded up her umbrella as quickly as she could and endured the last couple of raindrops before she got inside, moving with a crowd of fourth graders who didn't seem to notice she existed.

"We won't have Miss Lahote this year," said one, "my mom said she died."

From the girls, there were some theatrical gasps, "No way!"

"Way," confirmed a boy grimly, "I saw Paul yesterday, and he was really…"

Ahala stopped to tie her shoe, mouthing the instructions to herself as she did so. She wanted to make sure she was perfect when she walked into class for the first time – she wanted to be the most popular girl. If she wasn't perfect, there was sure to be tons of other girls who would be happy to take the spot, and for the life of her little self, she wouldn't let that happen.

In fact, she spent so much time making sure her knot was perfect, she hadn't noticed the dispersing students. Before she realized it, the bell rang and the last of the students were inside their classrooms, leaving her alone in the hallway.

And thus, the world was suddenly in shambles.

Frantic, she stood up, brain suddenly void of the location of her classroom and why she was even there. With small, shaking steps, she began the shameful walk down the empty linoleum hallway. She had absolutely no idea where she was going; every time she tried to remember where her classroom was, an overwhelming sense of despair overtook her and sent her into a fit of piteous sobs.

She was barely five steps away from the front doors to the school when they burst open.

A girl, looking to be a fifth grader, waltzed in dragging a sobbing kindergartner. She had one backpack strap slung over her shoulder, and despite her chubby cheeks, had a very sharp expression. Ahala was swaying between admiration and despair, but was ultimately overcome by despair; she had no chance of being the most popular girl now! Some other little girl probably had already wooed the class with her cool dress and perfectly tied shoes…

"Why are you crying? God, Seth, shut up!"

"B-b-but Leah, I don't wanna –"

"Oh yeah? I don't care. You're going," Leah looked to Ahala, "tell me why you're crying."

Ahala sniffled. "I-I don't remember where my classroom is. I'm lost…"

Leah laughed. "You must be a kindergartner. Am I right?"

Pitifully, Ahala nodded.

"I figured. So is my little brother here, Seth. You guys probably have the same class, so I'll escort both of you. How does that sound?"

Ahala nodded, smiling a little as she wiped away the tears that had lingered on her cheeks. She reached for Leah's hand and clasped their fingers together. As they walked down the hallway, the directions began to come back to Ahala; she felt stupid for getting so upset about it, but was glad that she'd gotten to meet Leah and Seth in the process.

As they rounded the last corner to their classroom, Leah stopped. She patted Seth's head and pushed him towards the door, and although he had been relentless in his attempts to not go earlier, he walked straight in. Ahala began to follow, but was stopped by Leah.

"What's your name?"

"Ahala,"

"Ahala. Got it. Let's be friends this year, okay?" Leah smiled and patted her cheek, and then left.

Both wolves were swaying on their feet, whimpers strangely in tempo with the patter of rain against the forest floor. Ahala was waiting for one of them to howl, in hopes that she wouldn't have to phase and hear their frantic thoughts; it was already heartbreaking enough to watch them from the outside.

As a gesture, she crouched down to her knees and bowed her head at the siblings. It didn't quite click with Seth, but Leah got it; welling up fresh air in her lungs, she let out a long howl that spoke many volumes of distress. No doubt the guys would recognize the tone.

It only took five minutes. Jacob and Sam were there first, and then Paul, Jared, and Embry.

"Well shit. Both of 'em," breathed Jared.

"Alright, guys, everyone stay in their form. I'll phase and explain this mess to them," Sam said with a resigned sigh, stripping shamelessly as ever. "You guys need to head back to Em's. I think Sue would prefer to be alone right now."

Ahala turned on her heel, first to be on her way out. She wanted to be away from Leah when Sam phased – it would be hard the first time, and knowing how Leah was, she wouldn't take it well. She was nearly sprinting when the earsplitting barks began to resonate through the forest.

"I figured she wouldn't take that well. You okay?" Jacob said breathlessly as he came up beside Ahala, placing his arm around her shoulders. In return, she wrapped her arm tightly around his waist.

"Definitely. I just feel for them, you know? On top of losing Harry, they have to somehow cope with the fact that all those stupid legends from their childhood are coming back to haunt them." She replied.

Jacob scoffed, "Not to mention Sam and Leah. That will be one awkward patrol."

Ahala nodded in agreement. "No doubt."

By the time they reached the edge of the forest, everyone had left Sue's. It was scary how barren the house looked; it looked like, without a word, everyone had just stopped in the middle of what they were doing and left. It was hard to imagine Sue Clearwater was inside.

"So…" Jacob broke the momentary silence, "what are we going to do?"

Ahala sent a sidelong glance his way, "What are you talking about?"

"I don't know, we really don't have anything on our agenda. And you have the night off, and since I'm your imprint, that gives me a free pass to be off too. So, what do you wanna do?"

"Jacob, we just lost an Elder. I don't think we should be planning a date."

Jacob scoffed, "We shouldn't be moping around. We should be out, celebrating his life."

Ahala shook her head and shrugged. "I don't know. Whatever you want to do is fine,"

"No," Jacob groaned, "don't say that! Just tell me what you want to do, Ahala."

Laughing, she exclaimed, "I really don't know!"

"Just pick something. Anything. And I'll make it happen." He stopped abruptly and stepped in front of her, clasping her hands between his. He was grinning as he stared down into her eyes, genuinely eager to hear what she wanted to do; it made her heart soar. It was like their rough patch in the beginning had never happened.

"Okay," she relented, "let's…let's go cliff diving."

"Cliff diving? It's rain –"

"Nope! You said anything. You promised."

Jacob chuckled. "I did, didn't I?"

Ahala nodded, and smiled. "Let's go, Mr. Black. In honor of Harry Clearwater, we will throw ourselves off a cliff into the freezing ocean."

Jacob raised his fist into the air, "For Harry!" He chanted.

They raced to the cliffs, tripping and stumbling like children.

A/n - it's been a little while since I posted, hasn't it? I'm sorry! I hope this chapter makes up for my sort-of long absence.

As always, review! :)