"How could she do that?!"

"Now relax, 'D. I'm sure there's a logical explanation for this."

"No! I know the explanation! Destiny is into 2D! Gah! I hate being eleven!" I complained and collapsed in my bed. Del didn't bounce, but my pillows at the other end flew everywhere. After storming up to my room, Del floated through the floorboards having "sensed negative energies from his I explained the situation to him and he was a caring ear and a comforting shoulder…well, not really because he's a ghost, but Del was "sitting" and witnessed anyway.

"So wait, lemmie see if I got this straight." Del cleared his throat. "Destiny (not you, some other chick) is trying to hook up with 2D even though you're the one who introduced each other?"

"Er, yeah. Basically," I sighed, crawling up to sit beside him. It was quiet for a while. "They were only together for a few hours- How come they connected just like that?" I snapped my fingers to help prove my point.

"Well, you and Stuart Pot were exactly the same way if I remember myself," Del said giving off the only light in the room as usual. "I mean, that's just one more thing you have in common. You shouldn't be mad at her."

"I'm not mad at her," I decided and nodded as if confirming it with myself. "I'm not mad at anyone." Del gives me this look. "Alright, fine! I'm mad at 2D. Why does he like that tall, candy-haired priss?"

"You don't know that." Del placed a hand on my shoulder. It didn't make contact, but the sheer atmosphere of it felt like ice.

"But 2D smiled when she kissed him." My heart sank some after I said it. It hurt more out loud. "And what if he kisses back next time? Or they start dating? Or they get married?" I pouted. "Their kids will have Destiny's eyes and 2D's purple hair. And they'll name them Faith and Bob. Cause 2D will remember it easily." My voice rose more at the end and I face-planted my bed again.

I was joking, obviously, but Del didn't get it. "Relax, 'D. It's not like she knows you have a crush on him too. Besides, I know you don't have hard feelings for her, so there's no point in diva-ing about it."

I glared from my pillow with a red tint across my cheeks, "Okay, that whole knowing-everything-about-me thing is really starting to get weird. And who's side are you on?" He laughed at that and looked at me with an obvious look. I smiled. "Thanks."

"Anytime. Besides, that whole marrying story? It won't happen. Trust me." As soon as it left his mouth, Del's hands clasped over his lips. "I shouldn't-"

"Did you say something, Del? I thought not," I winked. Del smiled and was going to say something, but suddenly he stopped and stared off into the middle distance. It was quiet again as he checked something about my future. "Is something wrong?" I asked, not moving as if it would disturb the vision.

"No, everything's fine. It's just something we guardians get when news come in…" Del thought about it and shrugged.

"Yeah, it sounds just as weird as you made it," I laughed and asked quickly. "By the way, how soon am I gonna have to do this destiny-changing assignment? The anticipation is killing me."

Del closed his eyes and tilted his head back, "Soon," he said, opening them. "It'll happen soon. But not yet. Don't worry about it."

"How soon?"

"It won't be 'til after the performance."

"Well that doesn't give me long." I thought for a while. Then I realized, "Wait, does the other Destiny have some kinda purpose like I do? Cause- you know- her name is Destiny too? Is she gonna change someone's future like I am?"

Del sighed. "Okay, one thing fo sho first: Everyone changes everybody's destiny. Don't think that you're just the special one. For example, the Gorillaz band changed your future and none of your band mates' names are Destiny."

I mulled this over in my mind and nodded in agreement.

"Anyway, as far as I know, I don't think Destiny is going to change the course of history like you will. At least, not to my knowledge. We, the ghosts that is, don't really know these kinda things about everyone." My eyes widened. "What?"

"I'm gonna change the course of history?" I felt ready to faint from the news.

Del's eyes opened just as much as mine. "Oh no, I wasn't supposed to tell you that either! Don't worry, no pressure! You'll do fine!" I only slightly nodded, half aware he was even talking. "Anyway, why are you so hung up on Destiny and 2D anyway? I thought 2D didn't even know about your crush on him."

"He doesn't."

"So why don't you tell him? And that his becoming intimate with another is weirding you out?"

I sighed, sitting up and not meeting his eyes. "Because this is just the way I want it. 2D's and my friendship; it's too good to ruin. I mean, how awkward would it be to work together after that? Or even hang out? Our friendship would completely change. And there's absolutely no chance that he feels the same way back. Cause, I mean, really- he's twenty-two. That's almost twice my age. There's no way he would even look at me like that."

"Aw, girl. C'mere," Del put his arm out so I could rest my head on his shoulder. I tilted to the side, expecting to collapse to his shoulder, but I fell through him and face-planted the bed. Del dissipated and when he re-formed further from me so I wasn't laying in him. "Sorry."

I muffled something impolite into the bed and picked myself up. "S'okay. I just can't wait for this whole infatuation to be over with. I mean, I know it's just some kid thing. Derrick had one on Angelina Jolie at my age, but it was just a phase."

Del nodded with a look of understanding. "I feel ya and all that, 'D, but I think it would be much easier if you just told Two-Dents how you felt. Or at least that his public display of affections make you uncomfortable."

"Or I could tell him that he's driving me crazy and to leave me alone until my crush on him goes away."

Del glared at me. I could tell he didn't like that plan at all. "No, Destiny. If you tell him to buzz off without any reason to support it, he'll feel horrible. I mean, you know 2D; he'll just break down."

"But it seems so easy, Del. I mean, why not for once don't I not be the bigger person? And do something for me to protect myself by sheltering him away from me?" Del gave me a stern look. "Alright, alright, fine. I won't tell him to buzz off."

"Promise?"

"Sure, whatever." I sighed. "I just wish Russel hadn't brought them to..." I trail until it dawns on me.

Del looks scared. "Uh oh. Wha-"

"You knew!" I accuse, standing. "You knew all about these girls and what Russel was doing!"

He lifts his hands defensively. "Destiny, what're you talking about? You're hysterical!"

"Did you know when Russel called the band in? Did you pretend to be on my side when all along you just wanted me to get over 2D?" I kept thinking of new ways Del could betray me. "You know everything about me after all; I bet you knew 2D would hurt me! You just like messing with me after all, don't you?! I bet this whole Demon Days thing isn't even real!"

Del floats in the space above me. "Destiny, you've got it all wrong! Don't be ridiculous, child! You will change things, believe me! We gotta stay on the same team." I keep an expressionless look and walk to my guitar display. I take down the one connected to the speaker and turn it up all the way. "What're you doing? You're gonna wake up the whol- HEY! I may be a ghost, but I can still hear! Why- oh..." Del started to dematerialize, which meant Russel was waking up from either sleeping or the coma that Del put him in. As if he was on TV, he buzzed and fizzed and started to float around the room and down the doorway. It closed behind him in seconds. I was alone.

I hung up the guitar and turned off the speaker. Soon enough Russel started walking around downstairs and I locked my door and wandered around the room. On my beanbag chair was the outfit laid out for our performance tomorrow very neatly. It consisted of a white ¾ length-sleeved shirt that had swirls printed on most of the left side, red bell-bottoms, and black converse. And I would obviously wear my brother's hat and a few accessories that Noodle will lend me. I kept reminding myself that we only had to go back to the depot once more and then we were done with seeing the Toxic hArts, the band that Destiny was in and Del used to hurt me like all the nightmares he gave me. I resolved to never talk to him again.

With great remorse for the night, I crawled into bed and fell asleep, fully clothed. I didn't get that much sleep though. And when I did, I dreamt of nightmares that 2D would completely forget about me when I was more than willing to be his friend. The fear and heartbreak that I felt was much worse than anything Del could ever cause.

The next morning was hell. Having had no sleep the prior night and needing to wake up early, I was a horrible cranky mess. In fact, I was so short-tempered and exhausted that Murdoc changed my bedtime.

We arrived to the London depot early to rehearse one final time and it was there we found the Toxic hArts band waiting for us to arrive. Almost immediately Destiny found 2D and the two hit it off again. The same thick jealousy burned through every fiber of my being. I wanted to yell, push, hug, and hold him. And tell him that I didn't like what he was doing to me and I wanted him to stop talking to me. But then I'd be breaking the promise I made to Del and to myself about not freaking out on him. What else did I have if not my word? Certainly not 2D.

And I wanted to do the same to Destiny, minus the hugging part…actually, replace the hugging with biting.

They wanted to ask if they could open for our show tonight and with some convincing to Murdoc, and some sex appeal, he agreed. Everyone in the band- Noodle, Russel, Murdoc, and 2D- thought this was the greatest thing that could happen to two bands who were friends, but I thought it was lame. Not that I could voice my opinion or anything- I mean, what could I say? 'I'm mad that we're having a social life with other bands?' That would work out well, not really. Murdoc told me to arrange for a contract with EMI records to make it official within the week and I tried my best to ignore that they were going to open up the show for us.

Doesn't mean I succeeded.

But the worst part was after our rehearsal. There were still two or so hours until we had to perform and 2D invited we hang out. He offered we go to pizza and play video games at the local arcade, but each time I glared and gave him a quick "no, thank you." Had this been any other situation, I would have gladly said 'yes' and my heart would sing acappella. But 2D was with her just moments before- sometimes offering still with her- and it made my heart feel like there was a black hole inside it. So instead, 2D and Destiny went with Murdoc and other band peoples to some celebrity party that they weren't even invited to because Murdoc wanted to get drunk and give out autographs. I was happy that they did that instead of dragging me out with them. I'd rather crawl up in a ball backstage and play video games on my laptop, or listen to music, or get the sleep I could no longer gain at night.

Which is what I went back to Kong every night to do.

Yuki strummed very loudly on her guitar. The show was opening. People were sitting in their seats already and cheering for Toxic hArts. I rushed to prepare myself and was ready just as they finished.

The stage was set.

People ran around frantically preparing us for our first song.

The screen was pulled up and the projector aglow.

Murdoc attempts endlessly to plug in all the wires into their respectful amps, but fails each time. I push him aside and do it myself.

As soon as the beam of light hits us, and our silhouettes are outlined through the screen, the crowd cheered and screamed. We waited for Murdoc who waited for the crowd to quiet, then he prompted me into the opening of 'M1-A1' with him as we built up the song to its full potential. Like a metronome he muttered to me,

"1, 2, 3, and 1, 2, 3, and up a step, and down a step to verse 2, and 1, 2, 3" and so on.

After that, it was a bun stormer. Everything we did was perfect to the T. We heard the cheers of the crowd and knew they loved the visuals. It was so intense backstage, that during the second half it became humid and we were all hot. Literally. Murdoc- after much convincing to not go further- striped down to his underwear, 2D and Russel took off their shirts, and even Noodle removed the red jumpsuit she always loved to wear to reveal a cute little teddy-printed shirt underneath. I simply took off my brother's hat for I had sweat dripping off the tips of my hair and fanned my shirt, but as I did I could've sworn I saw 2D checking me out as I did so. I kicked myself mentally; it was foolish to stay hopeful.

While Toxic hArts opened the show, two rappers from the EMI label closed it out with their rendition of Clint Eastwood. 20 pound notes fell from the ceiling and two giant 'Gorillaz' spray-painted cubes were thrown into the crowd for them to toss around. The crowd went nuts.

Murdoc and I stood watch in one of the wings offstage. "You know," I said shaking my head in disapproval. "I'll never understand rap and the weird-ass rituals they have."

"Mind your language," Murdoc commented, not really conscious of the parental correction. I apologized out of habit. "Let's just get out here. It's gettin' too hot back 'ere."

"Hey!" Destiny from Toxic hArts was with Yuki and the two were running at us. "Great show you guys! And I can't thank you enough for letting us open up for your band, you're the best."

For a split second my eyes glared a little and fixed themselves and Murdoc took notice. He saw me from the corner of his eye. So he spoke on our behalf, "Whatever. Just don't think we'll be in co- cohoo- coha-"

"Cohorts, Murdoc."

"Don't correct me," Murdoc pointed at me.

Destiny and Yuki just laughed. "Noodle, Russel, and 2D are going to join us for celebratory malts. Do you two wanna come too? Please?" Yuki asked with big eyes.

Murdoc looked down at me. I could tell he knew something was up, but I acted innocent. If I was going to say no like he knew I was going to, he was going to say no too. If I was going to go make myself be miserable at home, he wanted to be there for me in the strange way he always was. But not this time. Oh, how I did not want him to be there for me this time. "You go on ahead without me," I told him especially. "I'm feeling kinda tired. I think I'll go home and, er…finish up the contract for Toxic hArts to open up for Gorillaz. It's this whole EMI thing I gotta do, but Murdoc's making me finish it up tonight. Right, Murdoc?"

"Eh? But I said you had until the end of the wee-" I threw him a very stern look. He looked back at me first confused, then realization slapped him across the face. "Oh! Oh- yeah! Yes I did!" He looked mad at me now; I knew it was acting. "So you go take this cab money! Go take these keys that you always take from me! And go get yourself home safe and sound and I'll see you when I get there!" As he said each object, he handed them to me; all the objects to get me safely home. He was silently showing me that he's there for me even when I won't let him.

Quickly, I threw him a smile. "Thanks, Muds. See ya." Then I threw the two girls a look, glaring once again at Destiny in the small way I had before. "Girls," I acknowledged and left out the back door.

March 22nd 2001: Gorillaz perform at London's Kings Cross Scala

I called Damon over so he could overlook the contract before it was sent off to EMI since he was our very professional connection to them and he and Jamie came over to keep me company. Finishing the contract took mere seconds and faxing it to EMI was just a few more, but the two stuck around anyway since I didn't want to be home alone while I was in such hard times. We hung out in the ever-frequently used gaming lounge and played various numbers from the Grand Theft Auto series as we waited for the rest of the band to come home.

"Okay," Jamie said, playing the video game as Damon and I sat at the table making calls. "I'm gonna head over to the docks, kill the mob boss, take over all of Vegas, fuck the boss's hot girlfriend, take over the family business, and win the achievement that gets me his solid gold shotgun. How's that sound?"

I didn't respond. I was too indulged with filling out the request for a warm-up band contract with some EMI official. Also, the game gave me a headache. Damon, however, spun in his seat to look. "Wait…isn't the mob boss your dad?"

"Yup."

"So wouldn't you just be fuckin' your mum?"

"No. I just killed her. Actually, I'm coming back from killing me mum to go kill my dad!" Jamie gave a pirate-like laugh.

"Oh…then who'd you kill yesterday? Or was that your uncle?"

"Guys…" I said finally. It was as though my fingers were permanently stuck to my temples in pain.

"Sorry," they both said in unison. Jamie turned off his video game and joined us at the table, turning his chair so that he could cross his arms over the back as he usually does.

"Where is everyone anyway?" Jamie asked as he started to scribble on a piece of paper with a mechanical pencil from his jacket. "Been real quiet."

"They went out with that all-girls band for malts." I scrunched up my nose to the statement. "Remember the Toxic band that we met backstage of the Scala?"

They both hissed and 'ooo'ed; already aware of my dislike for the one girl. Damon and Jamie are personal friends of not only me but the Gorillaz too, after all.

"So these groupies are still hanging all over you?" Damon asked as he took out a deck of cards and started to shuffle them. One thing that the three of us enjoyed was playing a round of poker. However we'd usually have a fourth player- whether it be Murdoc or Jamie's intern assistant, Ally- but today we were short one, so our game would surely end quickly.

"Groupies?" I asked, taking my hand and viewing the cards. They weren't good. "What's that?"

"They're a bunch of fans who hang around with the band as much as possible," Damon defined. "They just praise and worship them as much as possible. They clean their junk, tune their instruments, take em out to dinner-"

"-or malts!" Jamie finished, suggestively. "Just to get in your pants, or find some kinda scandal about the mates, or leech off the band's fame!" Jamie glanced down to his cards and traded one in. "Go fish."

Damon and I gave him a weird, 'you're crazed' look. "Anyway," I went on like I hadn't heard him. "I guess so, but they're not really like that. Cause they have their own and stuff."

"Ah," Jamie slammed a card down as he said, "They are mooching off you!"

"But we met them before their rehearsal at the London Scala. They must be famous if they could afford that place."

"Oh." Jamie looked at the two of us and started to scribble again, warily. He ran out of things to suggest.

Damon picked up after him, "Destiny, I think you've got this whole thing wrong." He picked up some cards and raised his bet. "You should be happy that Gorillaz is getting so famous, other bands want to befriend you. I mean, you've only released two singles and the album isn't even out yet."

"Yeah, but- I can't help but have this strange feeling…like they are just mooching off us or something." My mind started to flash to Destiny and 2D in the lobby, kissing. "Like they want to take something from us, even though we had it first." I glared into the middle distance.

Damon shrugged, "Well, you're gonna be hanging out with lots of celebrities pretty soon and you can't go in just hating everyone. Besides, if these girls really want something that's your's, then they can't get it if its truly your stuff." Damon paused. "Besides even if you fall, we'll always be here to back you up. We care about you, Destiny, but you can't hole up here at Kong while your friends are out partying. At least go try to be friendly."

"Yeah. Go bask in the fame, too!" Jamie smirked again, looked at his cards and showed. "Double aces and a Jack."

I once again looked at my cards and frowned. I hadn't one good hand. "I fold."

"Full house," Damon said, laying them out on the table.

"Bull!" Jamie screamed and flew across the table to wrestle Damon to the floor.

I guess I agreed with Damon. Especially since I was happy for all the positive fame Gorillaz was getting deep down. And despite neither of them knowing about my metaphor to my crush on 2D, I felt a lot better about it. And as soon as Damon and Jamie finished, I walked the two to the door

Right as the Gorillaz jeep pulled up.

"Hey, mates!" Jamie greeted and chatted with the group for a while about coming back next Monday to see about all the reviews for the night before he and Damon went off.

I counted off the heads and everyone was home, but one. "Hey, Russel…" I started cautiously. "Who's gone? I mean, where's 2D?"

"He and Destiny got into this really deep conversation about all this 'finding their soul mate' and 'marriage' crap and stayed behind to talk it out. It was so stupid," Russel said, rolling his white eyes. "The conversation got so mushy that the rest of us just decided to leave. It was getting late anyway." He kissed the top of my head and started to walk off to his room. I just stood there and stared off into the night. "Destiny, are you coming to bed?"

"Nah," I mumbled. "I think I'll wait for 2D to get home safe." And Russel left without giving it another thought.

I couldn't believe it. I was right. Del did hate me. The two were getting so serious so fast, I just couldn't believe it. I was so numb, yet I started to shake. Just when I started to feel good about this whole band interaction junk and I start to lose 2D to her. Everything that Damon and Jamie talked to me about that night just rolled right off of me, leaving behind a lonely, cold feeling. It was so unbelievable. I just couldn't stand there and wait for him. I went up to bed, feeling more miserable than ever. And I didn't fall asleep until what seemed like hours later.

The press in the following week had not been so kind. Damon and Jamie came early the next Monday (having played the show on a Saturday night), with multiple newspaper reviews, magazine clippings, and daytime talk show listings. Many spoke of the great entertainment in our mediocre performance, but no real satisfaction afterwards. Some felt that it was a wonderful performance, but not worth the ticket price. Others had the audacity to write of how Gorillaz was apparently making Destiny Brooks a talentless showgirl for a failing band. Someone even went so far as to state Gorillaz was a made-up side project for Damon Albarn and he'll wake up two years later in a fetal position from the horrid memory.

"Funnily enough, though…" Murdoc commented. "that as his column gets smaller and smaller, the bloat gets fatter and fatter. Looks like he's eating his own words, if you ask me, eh? Righ'? Righ'?"

Noodle, however, took it personally. "No like Gorillaz band-o," she muttered, dropping the magazine in limp hands.

I patted her back in comfort. "Well, since Gorillaz is so successful in all the other areas, it was only a matter of time for the press to find some way to de-glorify us. Right, Murdoc?"

"Who cares what they think? We belted out a rooooockin' performance! I say we celebrate! Let's go on a road trip! To Vegas! But ain't nobody touch my car, no, no! I waxed that baby like lickedy-split!"

I stared at Murdoc with an incredulous look. He sounded loopier than 2D after he watched a Freakazoid marathon. His eye twitched more than it normally does and his hands and leg were shaking.

Damon asked, "Murdoc, are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, you've got bags under your bags, mate," Jamie sneered. I looked and he was right. Murdoc wasn't sleeping.

"Oh no, totally! Actually, yes! I'm not okay and I don't car- Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care- I HAVEN'T SLEPT FOR A WHOLE WEEK!" This was followed by the shrill cackling laugh that Murdoc does sometimes. He was hitting his wall. "Like I said, celebration- and this Cuuuuuban coffee beans are great! Hey, who wants to go jogging, eh? I'll race yo-" Just as Murdoc took his first step, he tripped. And before he fell to the ground, his eyes were shut and he was fast asleep.

Damon was the first to get up and checked his pulse. "Well, he's not dead," he stated. Then Jamie got up and threw the sleeping Murdoc over his shoulder. "We'll take him to bed. Why don't you go retrieve Russel from the kitchen and we'll meet you in the theatre for the Channel 9 review?"

"Okay. Noodle, will you go show them where the Winnie is?" I threw her the ring of keys I constantly steal so she could get in. She saluted me and led Damon by his hand. Then Damon, in a cheeky way, took Jamie's free hand and he groaned. "I gotta go get my laptop first, though. Be there in fifteen."

"Hurry uuuuuuuuup!" Jamie yelled at me from down the hall. I roll my eyes and hit the button on the elevator to go up to the first (actually second) floor. But the sound of 2D's voice made me jump; I forgot he was in the lobby with us.

"Deaftiny," he asked, stretching his long, ungainly legs. He was wearing jeans that were too short on him and exposed his ankles. He was also wearing a light green t-shirt with a robot on it, which contrasted my red and white stripped one. "Do you fink it's strange tat I'm on teh cover of tis magazine?"

I turned my head, confused, and surely enough he was holding up a magazine with a picture of him on the cover beside his face. The word 'HOT!' was in big red letters along with the title '2D: Gibbon* it large'. I turned my head back and gritted my teeth. I really wanted to be mad at him still. "No, 2D. It's not weird at all."

"But look 'ere!" 2D quickly crossed the room as the elevator doors opened and as I turned around to see what he was doing, he pressed the magazine to my face. I backed up, entering the elevator, and he followed me in. The doors closed. "I don' even know wot 'gibbon' means- Do you? I mean, when I asked Murdoc, he just laughed, but-"

I cut him off by pushing away the papers and twisting away from him. I put on an air of not caring by hitting the first floor button and staring at the doors, readying myself to leave when they opened. The sooner, the better. "I don't know what it means, 2D. I'm just a kid." 'Story of my life,' I thought to myself.

In the reflection of the chrome in the elevator, I saw 2D frown. I could feel it boring into my back. He knew I was mad at him. Or onto it. "Love, is sumfink wrong? You don' seem like yourself lately."

"I'm fine, 2D. Nothing's wrong." I really wanted to tell him off. Tell him what was getting under my skin and to stop doing it. But I promised Del I wouldn't. 'Boy, do I regret it right now,' I thought. "Just don't worry about me. I don't need it. I'm a big girl now."

"But…you're my Love," 2D said, quietly. It sent a pang of guilt to my heart. The sound of the magazine falling to the floor was coupled with the feeling of 2D's arms wrapping around my stomach. His head pressed to my back and it felt my spine was on fire. "I don' want you to be upset. I always worry about you and if somefink's wrong, I want you to tell me...please tell me."

I felt like spinning around and hugging him back, but reality doesn't work like that. I couldn't just give in so easily when he very well could get the same thing from that other girl. I'm an eleven year-old; it couldn't be. 'Besides he's lying,' I thought. 'I'm not his 'love.' Destiny is. He makes me so angry. I don't want to even talk about this. I don't want to even think about it. Fate couldn't be so cruel as to make me fall for someone so unattainable. Or so-called 'destiny.' And he's horrible for flaunting it in my face and then acting like there's nothing wrong. I just gotta get over this damn crush.'

My thoughts were eventually voiced as I said with clenched teeth and fists, "It'll be fine, Stuart, if you just leave me alone." Great; I just called him his full name. There's no denying how mad I was at him now. "You can't help that I'm upset. In fact, you just make it worse. Whenever you're around, I just want to blow up! I can't stand the way you make me feel!" I didn't notice when I broke away from 2D, but I was across the elevator by now. And 2D's arms were gently reaching out to me, left over from when I broke away. His face was twisted in pain, but all I could think about was how it was just a reflection of all the times I was hurt by him and Destiny.

"Deaftiny…" 2D almost whispered meeting my eyes, but I showed no mercy which was probably not a good thing to do. He took a moment to look away, shook his head slightly, and met my eyes again. I could see clear tears filling the corners of his eyes. "I've known you for so long…why now?"

The bell rang and the elevator doors opened. I stared into his eyes a little longer before saying, "I don't want to tell you, okay? So just leave me alone while I figure out how to deal with…whatever." I turned to storm out. 2D didn't follow me, but he stared at me as I left. When I reached the corridor, I closed the door and leaned against it, exasperated. My chest felt like it was collapsing in. I tilted my head back and whispered, "Be still. For once just be still."

The familiar blue gas seeped in through the floorboards. He was harder to see in in the daylight. "Happy now?" He asked, but his lips didn't form the words. His face was in a permanent scowl as though the words came to me telepathically.

I glared at him, dropped my hand, and walked on. I didn't say a word. Just shook my head and walked through him. He dissipated and I didn't see him again.

2D didn't show up in the theatre to watch the Channel 9 review. He didn't show up for the rest of the night either. 2D just stayed in the basement for the rest of the week, coming out only for Murdoc's chores and basic cartoon functions. He became a shell of his former self.

One day, the band went to the town for their own purposes. Murdoc went for booze, 2D on grocery shopping (as told to do so by Murdoc), and Russel took Noodle and I out to shop for a new summer wardrobe. It was wonderful weather and we went out to a plaza with various small boutiques. Noodle traded her heavy tan jacket for a short-sleeved tie-dye shirt and jeans that matched her blue helmet. I wore khaki capris and a long-sleeved pink shirt, but I bunched up the sleeves. My bangs were braided and clipped back too, because Noodle thought it would be fun and wouldn't stop screaming until I let her. Even Russel wore some shorts today.

When Russel went to pay for the clothes, he gave Noodle and I money to get something to eat. While standing in line at a pretzel stand, Noodle had on a very sly look. I became suspicious.

"Why the look, Noodle?" I asked in Japanese to keep the conversation somewhat private.

"You've changed," she said back in Japanese. This took me back a step. I didn't really think of this whole thing with 2D would affect Noodle or any of my other band mates. But she went on, "Is it because of performing again? Do you not like performing with Gorillaz as much as you do by yourself?"

"No, no!" I corrected, for I could tell Noodle took my mood swing personally. "It's not the band, at all, especially not you. It's not anybody's fault but mine. And I'm taking care of what I can. Trust me, I'll make things back to normal soon." I was as vague about my answer and picked my words carefully.

Noodle seemed to notice. "You aren't telling me what's wrong. I want to know. I want to help." I was silent. The line here seemed to never move.

Finally Noodle said, "2D hasn't come out of his room in a week." My heart deflated with my lungs. "He won't talk to me. When I asked him, 'what's wrong?' he says, 'I lost my Love.' Do you know why? Because I know that he calls you 'Love' a lot. Did you two fight?" Noodle looked at me with innocent eyes; the kind that makes a grown man cry. She was so naïve.

I sighed deeply and told her, "Look, Noodle, 2D and I are having some…friend problems. Well- that is- I'm...having some problems with him...friend-wise."

"Like what?" Noodle asked before I could finish.

My face turned red a little. I could feel it. "Like, er…I just don't want to hang out with him as much anymore. It's getting…difficult."

"Difficult?" Noodle gasped, "Do you have a crush on 2D?" She bounced in the air so high, I had to grab her feet to calm her down. I kept shushing her cause we were getting weird looks. I was actually more surprised than anything that she even guessed right on the first try.

"Be quiet, Noodle! Don't cause a scene! Please, it's embarrassing!" I held her shoulders down and realized we were next to order. I asked for a large pretzel and Noodle, a hotdog and we decided to split a soda. When we got our food, we started to walk back to the store where Russel was. I went on in Japanese as we walked the streets, "Yes, there's a small, girlish part of me that likes 2D, but there's no part of me that wants to pursue it. After all, he's my best friend…well, best guy friend. And-"

"It's okay, Destiny. I understand what you feel," Noodle responded in her tongue, sipping from the soda afterwards.

At that moment I realized what she said; Noodle was also keeping something from me. And it was hurting her. I asked her, "Is everything okay with you, Noodle? You also don't seem to be yourself lately."

Noodle looked at me with a surprised expression. "Oh, there's nothing wrong. I've just been, er…anxious? About the Gorillaz band. It's going to be a very exciting lifestyle."

"Yes, it will."

She was quiet for a while. Then Noodle humbly said, "I think it will take me some getting used to. Surely, Murdoc, 2D, Russel, and yourself are familiar with the 'rock star' lifestyle, but I don't have any background like all of you seem to have."

I thought about that. It's true that everyone in the band had some kind of musical history, but Noodle only remembered how she came about Gorillaz in a FedEx box. "Do you mean, you're excited?" I paused. "Or intimidated?"

Noodle swallowed a mouthful of her hotdog and shrugged. "A little of both. But I guess it's normal when you don't know much about music."

I thought again. "You know, after you and Russel went back to Kong from Jamaica, Murdoc and I got in some kinda fight about our musical knowledge…it made me realize that none of know about each other's musical backgrounds, or any background. Where we grew up, what our family was like, how we learned to play our instruments-"

"-Or childhood!" Noodle said. "You and I are the only kids in Gorillaz; we're growing up with them. But they are not the same; they grew up differently."

"Hey, yeah!" I agreed. "We should ask them about that. Get some band bonding in." Noodle agreed with me right as we walked into Russel. We were told that 2D and Murdoc were waiting for us by the car, so we could go home. After much arguing over who got to drive, we were soon speeding down the highway with Noodle between 2D and I in the back, and Russel driving with a stubbornly sour Murdoc in the passenger seat. With the roof down- not only tossing our hair all over the place- we were having a hard time hearing one another without screaming.

"Why doesn't 2D ever drive?" Noodle asked, curiously. I translated for her, but I wasn't happy about addressing 2D. He looked at me with a glimmering hope in his eye. I refused to meet it.

"'Cause we don't trust him with you or Noodle's life in a one ton deathtrap," Russel explained. He didn't mean for it to be hurtful, but 2D flinched.

"Or my life!" Murdoc twisted in seat and jabbed his thumb at his chest.

"I'm a won'erful driver…" 2D mumbled.

"And I'm Willy Wonka," Murdoc, sarcastically.

Noodle screamed something over the wind and everyone cringed from it. Murdoc turned his head to me, "What's she goin' on about now?"

"Er, Noodle and I just wanna know…" I indulged in them in the post-2D related chat Noodle and I had. "So we thought it could be like a band bonding thing."

"NO," Murdoc said firmly. "N-O. It was all in the contract when you first signed on, remember? I get rights to privacy-"

"Only when I do, yeah, yeah." I rolled my eyes. "In case you've forgotten, I was the one who wanted that. And you all know pretty well about my childhood and history, so it's only fair for me to know about you, Murdoc! An eye for an eye."

"Actually," Russel said, not taking his eyes off the road. "I think it's a great idea that Destiny and Noodle came up with. And she's right, Murdoc. It's only fair." He said the last part in a sort of You'll-be-a-part-of-this-like-it-or-not-or-I'll-break-your-nose-again way.

"Please, Mudsy? I'm only asking for you to share a little."

Murdoc was stunned. He looked from Russel to me, then smirked in a I've-taught-you-to-be-sneaky-well-and-I-couldn't-be-prouder way and was like so until we got home. After some quick unpacking, the five of us gathered in the kitchen (since the boys haven't eaten yet and were starving) and sat around the table.

"So…" I said, trying to break the silence. "Band bonding…" It was so quiet! "So, who wants to go first?"

"Well," Murdoc folded his hands behind his head, kicking his heels onto the table. "I had a fairly rough childhood; I hated my family and the feelings were mutual, and I went to public school and it was there that I suffered constant bullying and ridicule. Is that what you were looking for?" He leaned in his chair too far and fell backwards. Smoooooth.

I jumped out of my seat to help him up. "Bullied?" I asked. "Why?"

"Because; Intelligence is outcast." He waved away my hand and stood up, reclaiming his seat.

"Why didn't you do something about it?" Russel asked then, liking the band bonding.

"I did; I yelled so much at that punk one time, though, it didn't really go through his meaty skull. But I still stuck up for myself; I'm proud of that."

"So why didn' you tell the principull?" 2D asked, an ever-long victim of Murdoc's childhood bullying. "Or your mum or your dad?"

"Weren't you listening, numbskull!" Murdoc yelled at him. "My whole school hated me! As for parents...well, my dad was a drunk and me mum-" Murdoc hesitated. He never hesitates. There was silence amongst us as we waited respectively and anxiously for Murdoc to continue with his rant.

But he didn't. He just quietly said, "-well…Let's just say I never got to liking her. End of my stories."

"But Murdoc-"

"No buts! You said all I had to do was share a little!" Murdoc took out some cigarettes and stood out on the balcony. The breeze picked up and tossed his hair. Very quickly, I could see that Murdoc's eyebrows were pulled together.

'In sadness?' I wondered, squinting to maybe see better. But the vision went away just as fast as it came and Murdoc's scowl was back in place.

Meanwhile, Noodle was egging on 2D to go next. At first, all we could get was, "I dunno. My chil'ood wos pritty nice." But then he announced, "Well, one time I bunked off school when I wos eleven to wotch American Werewolf in London, a Fang Face cartoon, and Zombies, Dawn of the Dead on my mate's Betamax**. I wos so scared, t'at I rode my bike home, crying all teh way." I was kind of sad for 2D. But I didn't have to dwell on it for long as Noodle asked more questions.

One being, "Why blue?" and she pointed to his head.

I also pondered this before, but kept forgetting to ask. After all, even Stuart from the piano shop when I first met 2D had blue hair, but his eyes were normal.

I eagerly listened as he gathered some of his bangs in two fingers and stared at the clump. "Well, t'ere wos t'is big oak tree in front of my mum and dad's. And one day, I fell from it and gonked my head. All my hair fell out and it just…came…back…blue."

"That's weird," Noodle said in English and pulled on a few strands of hair. 2D flinched and Russel pulled the girl into his lap, lecturing her not to do that.

"Anything else, 2D?" I asked, scornfully.

He looked at me again with agonizing, fleeting hope, but I didn't budge. He shook his head softly and lowered it.

"Okay." We all tuned to Russel next. "Your turn! What is your background like?"

Russel smiled sheepishly and shifted in his seat. "Gee, there's nothin' really interestin' about me. Maybe Noodle should go."

She shook her head violently. "NO!"

"Yeah, Russel." 2D was just as eager to hear his story now. "We already know Noodle can't rememba anyfing from befor' she came outta teh box, so you hafta go!"

"Yeah, you're from the U.S., you're foreign, tell us of your background!" I begged, too.

Russel looked flattered and flustered at the same time. "Well there's not much to tell; I grew up in Brooklyn, went to a private school, then I moved and went to public school where I met my crew. And they got me into hip-hop. That's it, really."

"Well, how'd you meet Del?" I asked. "Or your eyes turned white?"

"How Del die?" Noodle blurted. I looked at her incredulously.

"It's a'ight, Destiny." Russel moved Noodle on his lap more and continued while looking at nothing in particular, "I don't really remember exactly how we met, but it was when I was in public school. He was heavy into hip-hop, and I was curious. He took me in; even taught me the drums. Del was truly my soul mate.

"One night, we were all hanging in Del's car, going late at night to a 7-Eleven. There was a car that pulled up next to us- a big black humvee with its windows tinted…one rolled down and an Uzi barrel poked through. They gunned down everyone in the car…Del died instantly…everyone else just kind of went apart from me…for some reason, the bullets never hit me."

By now, Russel's voice is a slow drawl. His tone was deep and thick with memory. He went on with heavy drama, "Next thing I knew, everyone's spirits just flew outta their bodies and went into mine. Like curtains into a vacuum. It was like they were attracted to me. Just one after another; Bam! Bam! Whoosh, bam! Each one just hitting me…

"When it was all done, my eyes were white- I think it was by the possession…and I was full of so much knowledge about music. But the loss of Del, everyone in the car…they were all his friends. My friends…they'll stay with me forever."

There was a moment where we all apologized to Russel, but he didn't seem too permanently scarred by anything. It made me really respect him because even though he went through so much death, he could move on and know it wasn't his fault. Not like I had when I blamed myself for Derrick's death. Russel was stronger than me like that.

"What about you, child?" Russel asked. I looked at him quizzically. "Well, aren't you American too? Can you remember anything before you and Derrick went on tour; what it was like?"

I paused. I didn't think I had to share anything. I was unprepared. "Well…I am American. Derrick always reminded me of that…he was always bigger than me. Even before we started to tour. Because he's older by a few minutes, I guess, so I was like the baby of the family." I thought. "I don't remember what my parents looked like, but they loved us both. He was always sure to tell me that too…but I don't remember too much of what it was like before touring. I guess I was too young. All I remember is that we were born talented and we didn't really have to learn like everyone else does."

"So what is the earliest memory you have?" Russel asked.

My eyes searched the table as though the answer would be written on it somewhere. "I remember…giving Derrick confidence speeches backstage of his first concert…we were five…I remember when we met Martoche…and…I remember walking out of my bedroom one night in my pajamas…and I walked outside onto the front porch. When I opened the door, my mom saw me and she smiled. And we just sat out there on a swinging bench, enjoying the breeze, and I kept my head on her chest. I don't remember what she looks like…but her smile was beautiful. And I was really happy." And I was happy from the memory. Especially since I remembered something about my parents for the first time in forever.

But suddenly, we heard Murdoc burst out in laughter and he was leaning over the railing for support. Between cackles he said, "That's the most pathetic thing I ever heard in my life!" and continued to laugh.

I don't know if it was Murdoc's making fun of my lone recollection of family, my ill feelings towards 2D this past week, or a combination of the two, but I felt anger boil inside me and I glared at him from across the room. I rose to my feet, and slammed my hands on the table. "You know what, Murdoc? At least my mom and I got along!"

Russel rose from his seat saying my name like he was about to lecture me, but I ran out of the room and retired to mine. I laid in my bed, without changing clothes, and tried to block out Murdoc's laughter with replaying the memory in my head over and over until I fell asleep.

At least I knew I had a family.

That night, in all the darkness, I saw a light glowing behind my eyelids. I turned onto my back and lifted them to see Del's floating head in front of me.

"It's time."

My eyes flew open, only to see a bright white engulf my body and I soon felt like I was floating. The bed and sheets weren't around me anymore and I was moving really fast. In fear, I screamed. I couldn't see where I was going or if Del was still beside me, but I felt like I was being transported somewhere.

I just didn't know where.

*Gibbon: The name of a small, skinny ape with long ungainly arms. This is compared to 2D.

**Betamax: A sort of VCR that you could watch home movies on

Thanks for reading. Follow the story and review if you'd like. To see artwork that I've made for Gorillaz and the story, watch gogorillazgone on Deviantart