A year had passed since Negan had been given another chance to live, that damn man did have lives like a cat. Only they would run out soon. And I was scared for when that time would come. He was a different man. I couldn't explain it, but he was different.
And it took only a slice to the throat and behind bars for him to change. Of course, he was still the same arsehole sometimes with his words, but that was Negan.
Clara and I had been provided a house by Rick, much to the dismissal of some of the Alexandrian's, such as Rosita. In their eyes we were still Saviors, still those people who stood by Negan as he did the unthinkable.
They were always going to think Negan as a monster, but did they realise how much of a monster Rick was? I could rant about it, but that is in the past, just like Negan's bad ways were.
The Sanctuary failed, both as a community and a home. They would fight against each other. Some still spoke that quote 'We are Negan', and others moved on from that. I made a promise with Rick to give the ruling over to him, but then he decided to give it to Daryl. But he wasn't showing leader attitude, he showed how much he hated them.
Crops failed, either from the weather or damn crows, they were running out of options. So, it was either leave and help build the bridge, or be nothing. Of course, those who were 'We are Negan', decided to be nothing, while the others, such as Arat and Laura went off and helped build the bridge.
The bridge was the next vision in Rick's eyes. A once constructed bridge that was no more, now was being rebuilt. It would provide more opportunities for the communities. Supplies and more survivors.
Clara and I had been given a chance to help around Alexandria. Gardening and in any way we could. But with all that going on, there was only one job I vowed to keep. To look after Negan.
The man I still loved, stuck in the basement of Rick's house, behind bars, a camp bed set up to allow him to sleep. A bed pan to allow him to relieve himself. Blue overalls to give the prison statement. No more leather jacket that he allowed me to wear sometimes. No heavy combat boots that would echo through the halls of the Sanctuary. No belted trousers, that he would tease me as he undid the notches in his belt, throwing it to the floor. No more of that white sexy shirt that showed off his muscles. No more of that red scarf, which he used on me as a blind fold or to tie me up. No more Lucille.
Just a man in blue overalls, a long Santa Claus beard, partially shaved hair and a shitty bed pan.
This was the Negan I was still in love me. Now he was behind bars. Now was my chance to get something he never would have given me as the King of the Sanctuary.
Thankfully I was allowed to visit him every other day. That was enough for me, I did have jobs to do. Entering the side door outside, the cell was covered in darkness, only a small window allowing a small peep of light through.
"Is it that time already, Angel?" The gruff voice spoke out of me.
"Of course," I smiled softly at him. Closing the door behind me, I grabbed the chair that resided against the ball wall, beside the concrete stairs that would lead up to the first floor of Michonne and Rick's house.
I could see a silhouette of Negan laying on his bed. As I placed the chair in the spot that was comfortable to me, he shifted to sitting up.
"I always look forward to seeing you, no one else visits me for pleasure, most of the time Michonne or Rick the prick comes to taunt me" He spoke sadly. "How are things with you?" he asked me.
"It's okay, we are doing as we are told, but obviously people only care that we are former Saviors, but always will be" I told him sighing to myself.
"You and your sister are innocent…only two of the few who are actually innocent, I'll have a word with Rick, ask him to get the others to back off"
"And see myself as weak?" I asked "I was the Queen of the Sanctuary; a Queen doesn't let enemies get the best of her" I told him smiling to myself.
"That's my girl" he grinned, before it was silent again. "But, how are you?" he asked. He asked me now and then, usually the same answer.
"I still sometimes get those nightmares, but most of the time, I miss having you in my arms, having you beside me" I admitted.
"Damn baby, I'm sorry. I wish I could help…I mean I miss you too, all of you, I miss my girls, I have damn blue balls over here" he chuckled to himself.
"And there's the Negan I remember" I teased him "You have a way with words, don't you?" I asked him.
"And you always loved it" he winked.
"I did" I softly told him.
"Do you still love me?" he asked.
"Of course, I do, Negan…why are you asking?" I asked raising my eyebrow a little concerned on why he was asking me that.
"I'm just…worried…"
"That I will find someone new?" I asked him, his nod gave his answer. "You may be behind bars Negan, and we can't touch like we used to, but I still love you, that's never going to stop. I survived because of you"
"You like using that term, don't you?" he asked.
"What term?"
"I survived because of you" he smiled, before chuckling "You use that a lot"
"Because every time someone asks me about why I love you, all that shit, it's always going to be the same answer" And it was true. No matter what opinions people said, how stupid I am to love a monster, I would always fight my case, usually ending in, 'I survived because of him'. And it was damn true.
A smile appeared on both our faces, in content with each other's presence. Love.
"How are my people?" he asked standing up from the bed. But that question only made me worried. Something had recently happened, and I still wasn't over it, my heart was broken, another reason for the nightmares and crying in bed. I looked down not saying anything, I knew I wouldn't be able to cover up my emotions. He had to know. "Angel…what's wrong?" he asked, walking towards the bars and wrapping his hands around the metal material. "You're getting me worried…what happened? No one is telling me anything, and it's- "
"Arat's dead!" I blurted out. Feeling my eyes become glassy all of a sudden, my vision becoming double. Taking a deep breath, I looked up seeing Negan standing there, silent, stunned, in shock.
"W-what?" he asked.
"Arat was killed by Oceanside, they were getting justice…"
"Justice for what?" he asked.
"Rick gave me all the information he could when he told me…Arat killed a brother at Oceanside, something that Simon ordered her to do".
Negan's face told it all. "Damn, fucking Simon…he slaughtered all the men at Oceanside, and I didn't know about it until later" he sighed smacking his fists against the bars. The sound of something most likely breaking. "Shit!" he groaned in pain. I quickly shot up from the chair and walked to the bar.
"Negan don't hurt yourself" I begged him. "Just breathe" I assured him, wiping the falling tears from my face.
"All along that fucker was stabbing me in the back…he gave the Saviors and the Sanctuary a bad name"
"But he is dead now, Negan. Remember? You killed him, showed people that he isn't what a leader is" I told him, placing my forehead against the bars. I then felt rough fingers against my skin, tracing off the tears that continued to fall down from my glassy eyes. Looking up, his deep chocolate eyes, locked onto my blue orbs.
"I'm sorry…I know how much of a friend she was to you, and your sister" He spoke quietly. "And she was a good damn loyal Savior to me" he sighed. "She didn't deserve what happened to her"
"They don't see that, they just see her as a Savior" I mumbled, removing my head from the bars. "I'll be okay, we will be okay" I smiled softly.
"Yeah? I like this reassurance from you, always made me feel better. How can I make you feel better?" he asked.
Then the lightbulb went off in my head. Now was the time to bring it up.
"There is something actually…" I trailed off.
"Anything Angel, you deserve it" he smiled, a smile a could see even through the salt and pepper beard.
"Anything?" I asked to make sure he meant it.
"Yes, anything I can try, being behind bars may be a little tricky, but I will do my best" He smiled "Tell me".
Here goes nothing. "I want something that you would have never given to me back at the Sanctuary…"
His eyebrow rose, which needed a good trim and shape. "That I wouldn't give you? What a ring?" he asked me "Like an engagement ring, marriage ring? Cos to my you are still considered to be my wife, or girlfriend, or whatever- "
"No Negan, not a damn ring. I want you to give me a baby" …