A/N: The candle blowing scene is from the movie Practical Magic. I own nothing, of course.

Rachel--POV

Tante Aurelie's house is a perfect example of those moldering old plantation houses you see in the movies. Over the years, she has refused practically every modern innovation Uncle Paul has tried to introduce except for a telephone and a TV. One the few occasions I've been summoned there, I've always expected Bette Davis or Olivia DeHaviland to come drifting out of the front door.

I sat in her dim parlor on a small love seat with Pam next to me. She was still babysitting me on my nights off, which meant she had to accompany me to the Royal Audience.

"Bonsoir, Rachelle. Bosoir, Mademoiselle. Je vous remercie de renvoyer ma visite tellement bientôt." What the what-what?

"Bonsoir, Madame. C'est un plaisir de vous revoir." Pam replied.

"Hi, Aunt Aurelie" I said defiantly.

"I 'ave asked you 'ere for a purpose, Rachelle" she said abruptly in her scratchy but still imperious voice. "Do you plan, at long last, to accept your geefts? To accept la différence?"

I shrugged. "I never denied having them."

She spat contemptuously to the side. "'Zat ees déchets. You refuse to use them."

I shrugged again. "I used them two months ago."

"She was running away from home" Pam explained dryly. I managed, somehow, not to give her a swift kick.

"Ah?"

Pam related my adventures. When she finished, Tante Aurelie glared at me. "Eediot girl! Eef you 'ad not been so stupide they might never 'ave found you!"

Now it was Pam's turn to look annoyed. The sight of her disgruntled face was comforting.

"You may be half a Coody, but you are alzo a Dupree and through me, a Balletois. Our family goes all ze' way back to ze days of Francois Premiere. We kept our tradeetions; we taught our children. I taught Paul, but he and Leanne 'ave no children. When Joseph told me you and your brother had la différence, I expected to teach you. But your fazzer married Elsie Coody. An ignorant girl from an ignorant, peasant family. She was not about to let la sorcière, la servante du diable near her children. Ah non!"

"Daddy was never too crazy about you, either" I said flippantly. "He didn't like the way you treated Grandma Marie. And if all you want to do is insult my mother, then I don't see why I should stay." I started to get up, but Tante Aurelie leaned forward. "Seet down, Rachelle. I 'ave not called you 'ere to discuss the past. Only the future."

Curiousity got the better of me and I sat.

"Most of our différence consists of geefts like your brother's: the ability to know people's thoughts, to see past and future. There has only rarely been une différence like yours. I was the last one to have eet."

I raised my eyebrows. "Really."

Tante Aurelie cackled. "Ah, you do not believe! No matter. Mademoiselle, hand me ze lamp on ze mantel, sil vous plait."

Rather to my surprise, Pam rose and fetched the lamp. It was an old-fashioned oil lamp. Pam handed it to Tante Aurelie, who removed the glass top and blew softly on the wick. Almost immediately, it flared to life. "Zees ees a small theeng, to light a lamp. I can light large bonfires; I can call rain and wind; I can travel to ze' land of ze' dead and lift ze' automobile you came 'ere in. Most of all, I can control my différence--eet does not control me."

"But what good is it?" I countered.

"La différence is a gift. And like most gifts, the good it can breeng depends on the situation. But the harm it breengs eef eet is not controlled can be great, and control only comes through practice."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Pam nod slightly, perhaps with approval. I had to admit, this conversation was turning out to be a lot more interesting than I had expected.

"I can teach you" my aunt sat regally back in her chair. For such a tiny person, (and one sitting down to boot) she somehow managed to look tall and imposing.

"I've been doing fairly well on my own, thank you" I said loftily. "After all, I did manage to stay hidden from vampires who placed a blood mark on me--something that should have let them find me in three seconds. And there hasn't been a major fire or storm around me since I finished grad school."

"And where do you work? Een une bibliothèque. And with whom do you spend your time? Your mother. Or your brother and hees friends."

"So?"

"Obviously, you 'ave not exactly been under a great deal of strain."

I wondered what Tante Aurelie would say if she could have seen the devestation in our living room after the pillow fight. In addition to the sofa pillows, Pam and I had also knocked over a couple of vases and some breakable knickknacks. But there had been no storm and no fire other than the candle. Maybe it was because by the end of the fight, I was winning and therefore feeling much better.

"Actually, Madame, she spends most of her time with me" Pam said smoothly. I glanced sharply at her; what the hell was she up to?

Tante Aurelie nodded sagely. "Then that ees eet. Plenty of amour keeps la différence sweet."

"Now wait just one minute!" I protested, feeling my face burn despite my efforts to keep it blank and smooth. "There's nothing like that going on!"

"No?" Tante Aurelie looked from me to Pam.

"I'm afraid not" Pam said with a smile that did funny things to my insides. I wanted to murder her! She was doing it on purpose just to embarrass me!

"No" I said firmly.

My aunt moved her bony shoulders impatiently. "Whatever the case, zer ees steel ze fact zat you 'ave nevair been trained. And 'zat ees dangereux, for both you and 'ze people around you."

" As for you" her sharp, black gaze turned on Pam, "would I be right een guessing 'zat my niece's geefts make her valuable to you? And perhaps 'zat is why you guard 'er so closely?"

"As I said before, Madame, you are most observant."

"'Zen you must see 'zat unless she can control 'er powers, she ees useless."

"Of course."

"Jesus Christ!" I muttered. I loved how they were talking about me like I wasn't there!

In a flash, Tante Aurelie had shot forward in her chair and slapped me sharply across the mouth. I yelped and dodged back. It stung pretty bad, considering how old my aunt was. Even Pam looked surprised.

"Dans ma maison, Rachelle, you will not take Le Bon Dieu's name in vain. Comprenez?"

"Yes, ma'am" I said resentfully as I rubbed my face. I didn't say I was sorry.

"You will veeseet me" she went on. "And you weel learn."

"How often do you need to see her?" Pam asked.

"Hey!" I objected. "I haven't agreed to this, yet."

"Do you know someone else who could train you to use your powers?" Pam asked, her face perfectly serious. It looked as if my aunt was right. For the billionth time in my life, I cursed my savvy.

"Pastor Bob wants me to meet with him" I said. "If he's part of the same tribe as my great-great grandaddy was, maybe he knows something."

"But of course. John Hennessey" Tante Aurelie nodded. "A good man. He does know a leetle, but 'ee does not possess la différence heemself, so 'ee cannot teach you as much as I."

"I could learn on my own."

"And when la différence causes damage to those you love? Perhaps even costs lives? Rachelle..." Tante Aurelie leaned forward in her chair again while I tried not to flinch. "I am an old woman, but once I was young, and once I was foolish and arrogant, and eet cost me dearly. My petite soeur Josette died in a fire I caused."

Her fierce eyes never left mine. Mixed with the fierceness was pain, almost enough pain to make me forgive her for hitting me. Pam was silent, watching us both.

"If I do this...if....there's one thing I want, Tante Aurelie. And that is that you don't talk about my mother. Ever. Not one word. Do you understand?"

Tante Aurelie pursed her lips tightly, then nodded. "I will do this. Je serai d'accord sur ceci."

"Then it looks like we have a deal."

My aunt closed her eyes and let out a breath. "Tomorrow night. Now I am tired."

Pam--POV

I watched Rachel as I pulled out of Madame Aurelie's driveway. She had buckled her seatbelt out of habit, and for some reason it struck me as rather endearing. She sat with her eyes closed, but her legs and feet remained on the floor, which I hoped was a good sign. I asked her cautiously if she was all right, and she opened one eye and replied, "Sure, why wouldn't I be?"

It didn't take Sookie Stackhouse to see that she was lying. And I was pretty sure why she was doing it. "Just about every vampire in the world, Rachel, is allowed to live based on their usefulness to the community. Even me. Even Eric. We are nothing if not practical; we don't see the point of being otherwise."

"All about power" she murmured.

"Yes" I said as gently as I could. "But it isn't personal, and you need to understand that. It will tear you apart if you don't."

She opened both eyes, then. "Why are you telling me this?"

I thought for a moment. Why was I telling her this? The only reason I could come up with was that for whatever insane reason, I didn't like the idea of her becoming bitter. "Because you're one of us" I said at last. "Unless you plan to go into the sun, for better or worse, you are what we are."

"But does it have to be that way?"

"What do you mean?"

"What's wrong with just living?" She saw my raised eyebrow and chuckled. "I know we're dead. But at the same time, we're pretty damn close to immortal, right? All that time...all that time to see what you could learn, do, or be. Why waste it trying to control each other?"

"So there's less bloodshed than there needs to be. Do you know how many vampires there are in this country alone? Besides, we could ask humans the same thing, with all the wars they get into."

Rachel shook her head. "I think Sookie is right. Vampires are not human, but they retain a hell of a lot of human characteristics. I think it is human; it's like being human and all of a sudden whammo! You're immortal and you have what amounts to superpowers. Of course you get obsessed with it. But frankly, that's a waste."

I thought about that. I never gave much thought to what the "meaning of life" for vampires might be. I was made in a time when just to be female was to spend your life in a cage. My turning was my freedom. "There is a lot Sookie doesn't know."

"Like what?"

"For one thing, just how much effort it takes Bill not to see her purely as food."

"He loves her."

"He loves her the way a vampire loves a human: her scent, her taste, her blood mean as much or more to him than she does herself."

Rachel looked at me uncomprehendingly. "So what? I don't reckon he can help that."

"Would he love her as much if she were a vampire?"

"Why wouldn't he?"

"She would no longer have what attracted him to her in the first place."

"That doesn't mean he wouldn't love her. She would still be Sookie, wouldn't she?"

I sighed. How did I ever think I could explain to a fledgling like Rachel the pull humans have on us? She hadn't experienced it yet, what happens when one particular human has a certain taste or quality we can't do without. "She would, but he would no longer be able to feel the life in her, and I don't mean just drinking her blood. That is what truly draws us...the blood is just a carrier for it."

Rachel was quiet as she pondered what I'd said. Then she asked, "What about your pets?"

"What about them?"

"What drew you to them? Was it just the life force?"

"That, and they had a quality I liked: grace, beauty, brains...sometimes even just because they made me laugh."

"And Eric?"

"Eric is my maker."

"So? You still spend the majority of your time with him. Is it all just business?"

I slowed down so I could turn my head and fully look at Rachel. She was sitting up now, leaning forward with her head cocked slightly to one side like an attentive pupil. "It would take at least twenty years for me to even begin to fully explain all the things we are to each other", I said. "He is my maker. He has been--and sometimes still is--my lover. And I like to think we're friends. And yet I've had to serve him with absolute loyalty, even when I doubted his decisions, and if I were unwilling to do that..." I looked Rachel directly in the eye "...he would buy out my share of Fangtasia in a minute and it would be like we never knew each other at all."

Rachel shook her head again, slowly. "I think that's the saddest thing I ever heard."

"And if the positions were reversed" I went on, "I would do exactly the same to him."

"And that's even sadder."

Her compassion irritated the hell out of me. "Think about it, Rachel. Eric answers to authorities higher than himself. What would they say if he couldn't control his own fledgling? He wouldn't be Sheriff of Area 5, that's for damn sure."

"It still seems pretty harsh, trading someone you love just to be in charge of vampires you might not even know" Rachel sat back and closed her eyes again. I could see I wasn't going to convince her. Never mind. Time itself would do that.