Chapter 21

"Things are startin' to look a little lonely around here, little bro," Modo observed.

The orphanage, which had reopened again now that Ashlin was back on duty, had emptied considerably over the last few days. Only a handful of children remained other than Michio, and despite the attack, Modo doubted they would be around much longer. Judging by the way Ashlin described them and by his own personal observations, Imeerans were very loving beings in spite of the hardness brought on by war, and they cherished their families and children more than anything.

"I know they're supposed to be careful right now and all," Modo said, as something he'd been wondering about popped back into his mind, "but ain't it a little strange that there haven't been any, y'know, surprises in all this time?"

Ashlin gave a laugh. "Not around here. And speaking of surprises," she went on, growing stern as she turned to Michio, "We've got more guests coming in the morning, so can we please try for that best behavior we haven't quite been able to manage?"

"Nope," Michio said, unconcerned.

Ashlin let out an impatient sigh. "You've told me more than once that you want to be adopted, so what's the problem?"

"Dunno," the fuzzy white creature said lazily.

"Well, if you act up tomorrow, Tam is not going to be happy with you."

"Yeah, yeah..."

Scowling, Ashlin shooed him into bed. Modo folded his arms and leaned over him. "I'll be watching you," he warned.

Michio stuck out his tongue and closed his eyes. Ashlin sighed again and dimmed the lights. "You wouldn't act this way if Tam was here, would you?"

"Yup."

"I give up..."

Michio snickered to himself. Ashlin frowned at him, then turned to Modo. "You can go now if you want," she said softly, smiling. "I can take it from here."

"You sure? I wouldn't mind stayin' the night, if you want me to."

Ashlin opened her mouth to reply, but a nearby beeping interrupted. Looking puzzled, she went over to the screen on the wall near the door and pressed a button. She studied something for a moment, then took a step back, looking even more puzzled - and a little scared. "It's a message from one of Deichan's nurses. She says I should come to the hospital right away."

She rubbed her clawed fingers together nervously, then glanced at the gray mouse standing next to her. "I could tag along," he offered.

Ashlin relaxed visibly. "Thank you. You're very sweet."

Modo felt his ears warm a little. "When I ain't puttin' my foot in my mouth," he mumbled.

She reached to give his hand a squeeze. "Forget about that. I have."

Modo felt something stir deep inside him as she smiled up at him. He'd never met anyone so forgiving before. Or so kind-hearted, or generous, or...so very pretty, too thick fur and all.

After locking the door, they started for the hospital together. It wasn't a long walk from Stardust House, but Ashlin was agitated, which made her chattier than usual. After mentioning a few innocuous things, she suddenly brushed his right hand and asked, very softly, "Pardon my curiosity, but...how did this happen?"

Not in the mood to go into great detail right now, Modo gave her a brief, vague account of how he lost his eye and wound up with his replacement arm. And then, as he had suspected she might, she asked, "Have you considered talking to Dee about it?"

He gave his head a shake. "Nope. I'm used to it, plus I'm not comfortable with operations. Not even ones performed by angel-faced doctors."

"Lots of people here have replaced limbs," Ashlin noted absently. "Tamerin lost her foot a few years ago. Trouble is," she went on, with a small giggle, "even after all these years, no one has been able to control how strong replaced limbs are. Regrowing them is one thing, but when a copy is made and then attached...it's always stronger than the original. There was a complication so they couldn't regrow her foot, and it took her ages to get used to it. Even now, I think if she's not careful she'll kick off too hard and trip herself."

She giggled again. Modo could tell that she didn't really think it was funny; she was just nervous. "Don't be scared," he told her gently. "Whatever it is, I'll be right there with you."

"I'm not scared," she said firmly, though she paused to give herself a shake before heading up the hospital's front walk. It was kind of silly, but Modo hurried ahead of her until he was close enough for the automatic door to open. "After you, Ma'am," he said, gesturing inside.

Ashlin wrinkled her nose a little as she stepped past him. "I like your other name for me better."

"What name?" Modo asked, confused.

She just smiled, looking almost smug again. They headed up to the second floor, where a nurse greeted them and took them to a room near the end of the hall. "Where's Deichan?" Ashlin wondered.

"Indisposed, I'm afraid. But she told me to tell you immediately if there was any change in our little patient."

Ashlin gave her a funny look. "Patient?"

The nurse looked apologetic. "She wanted to tell you sooner, but the readings were so strange we weren't sure. We ran a few tests and it looked like the little one brought here a few days ago had slipped into some form of suspended animation, but we weren't completely sure until he woke up."

For a moment Ashlin only stared, bewildered - and then she wobbled on her feet. Modo quickly grabbed her arm, steadying her. "He woke...?" Ashlin repeated faintly.

The nurse gestured to a bed at the back of the room, then left quietly. Ashlin, who had gone rigid, turned to look up at Modo, her face full of confusion - and fear. She was afraid she was dreaming, that what she was hearing was too good to be true.

"Don't be scared," he told her again, placing his hands on her shoulders. "I'm right here."

She nodded mechanically, and he had to gently steer her to get her to move. When they reached the bed at the back, something curled up on the covers sat up - something with a body similar to an Earth cat, with a bushy tail and clawed paws shaped almost like hands. Thin green stripes ran down the brown fur of its back, long pointed ears with green tips extended from its round head...and large, bright blue eyes blinked at them. A small mouth beneath a tiny black nose turned up in a smile. "Ashie!"

Ashlin bolted forward, threw her arms around the little creature and burst into tears. Relieved that the little guy was okay, Modo stood quietly and watched as she hugged, kissed, and cuddled the purring creature like there was no tomorrow. "I okay," Ako said in a high-pitched, baby-like voice. "Nappy made me grow big."

Ashlin let out a shaky breath and held him even tighter. "Don't ever scare me like that again," she murmured, sniffling.

"I try."

Sniffling again, Ashlin cradled the purring furball in her arms and turned around, smiling through her tears. "Thanks for coming with me. And thanks for putting up with more waterworks."

Modo chuckled softly. "My pleasure."

Still smiling, Ashlin reached out and put an arm around him, rested her head against his middle and let out a sigh that sounded an awful lot like contentment. "Seriously...you're the best."

For the next few days, Throttle kept to himself. Not that he actually wanted to be completely by himself, but he wasn't sure where Modo was hanging out at, he didn't want to go anywhere near where Rimfire always seemed to hang out...and he deliberately avoided running into Tamerin.

After what almost happened the other night, he didn't feel comfortable - or safe - being with her, especially alone. It was too risky, too close to something he wasn't ready to face right now. Maybe not ever.

He considered heading home once or twice, but Modo and Rimfire seemed to still be having fun, so he stuck around. Not that he couldn't just head back without them, but...he honestly didn't feel ready to go back to Mars just yet. So he wandered the city, noting absently how everyone still seemed on-edge as they went about their daily lives. But even then, they still gave off a friendly air, greeting or at least smiling at him when they passed. Throttle didn't feel very sociable right now, so he merely nodded in return as he wandered the upper level, which was unusually quiet today. He drifted past the ice cream parlor - and stopped short.

The outside patio of the parlor was anything but quiet; Tamerin had brought a handful of the orphans - or maybe all the orphans that were left - out for a treat. Ashlin was with them, and it looked like she was trying to get the small goat-like boy to stop spinning around on the seat he was perched on. "Hey, I'm only doing it until my order comes," he pointed out logically. "I'm no dummy."

"No, just setting a bad example," Ashlin retorted.

Sitting at the next table over, Tamerin didn't look at all concerned. She was busy cuddling something that looked like a brown-and-green cross between a cat and a fox, who was purring happily under the display of affection. "I think you'll be adopted next," she mused, cradling the creature in her arms like a baby. "I'll know you'll make some lonely soul very happy - and if they don't treasure you like you deserve I'll personally punch them in the nose."

The little creature giggled as she proceeded to pepper his furry head with noisy kisses. Looking jealous, the boy with the off-white fur stopped spinning his seat, hopped down and crawled into Tamerin's lap. The cat-fox creature leaped out of the way with an unhappy clicking sound.

"What about me?" the boy asked as he clung to Tamerin's neck. "You love me, right?"

"I love you just as much as everyone else," she told him, her tone crisp but her eyes affectionate. "And if you don't start behaving soon, you're going to be in big trouble."

"I'm perfectly behaved," the boy insisted as he rubbed his head against her shoulder. "See?"

Tamerin didn't look very convinced, but she seemed content to hold him quietly while the rest of the children happily ate their dishes of ice cream. It was kind of funny, Throttle thought as he watched the scene from a distance, how full of opposites Tamerin was. She could be bossy and pushy, and downright violent when she was mad...but he had seen her with the orphans before and it was obvious that she loved each one of her wards like they were her own, and she was infinitely patient and caring when she was with them.

And there was a soft look in her eyes as she continued to hold the goat-like child close in her arms, a look that was warm and tender...and hinted that it wasn't quite true that her affection for each of her wards was equal.

Suddenly sensing that she was being watched, Tamerin looked up and spotted him; Throttle hastily stepped back, moving behind the cover of a lamp post. "You can handle getting these guys home without me, right?" he heard her say. "There's something I need to take care of."

Throttle had had a feeling she would track him down eventually, so he held his ground and waited, though he didn't bother acting happy to see her as she leaned a hand on the post and looked at him. In return for his coolness she didn't smile at him, but there was a softness in her bright blue eyes. "I want to apologize for the other night," she said in a quiet voice. "I stepped out of bounds, and I'm sorry."

Throttle shrugged and glanced down at his hands, which were worrying the seam of one of his gloves. "Forget about it."

Maybe he had misread her actions, anyway. Maybe she had only wanted to comfort him for bringing up so many bad memories - and maybe that comfort included a little intimate contact - but that didn't mean she wanted anything more out of him. That was something he didn't think he would be able to give any time soon. Maybe never again.

"It's no big deal," he added, as she leaned her cheek against the post, her eyes distant. "No harm done."

"Maybe not, but I could tell I made you uncomfortable, plus you've been avoiding me. I didn't mean to put you in a place you weren't ready to go. Like I said," she added, with a nervous laugh, "my mother thinks I'm too emotional."

"Nothing wrong with empathizing," he said quietly. "Just...keep the physical contact in check, okay? Especially the kind that shares more than I'm interested in sharing."

Knowing what he meant, Tamerin glanced down at her hands and nodded slightly. "Have you eaten yet tonight?" she asked, meeting his gaze again. "Let me make it up to you."

Throttle chuckled slightly. "You can't treat me - isn't everything free?" he teased.

Tamerin rolled her eyes. "No kidding. But I can cook, you know."

"Oh."

She glanced over her shoulder; Ashlin had already rounded up the little charges and was taking them home. "Come on," she urged, with a shy smile. "I promise I won't poison you."

"Well, that's reassuring," he commented dryly - though he smirked a second later. "Okay," he agreed...though he didn't plan to go back to sleeping on her couch. Not knowing what else to do, he had spent the last few nights at the guard station.

In her small apartment, Tamerin slipped off her boots and absently pushed the button that opened the drapes before leading him through the living room and into a kitchen and dining area. There was a glass table in the middle of the room and curved, polished counter tops along the walls. Her bare feet silent on the white tile of the floor, Tamerin darted around, pulling food items out of containers and warming a stove.

With a sudden smirk, she opened a cardboard box and pulled out a glass object. "I forgot to mention, someone took an off planet shopping trip the other day. I made sure they picked up several cases of these."

As she spoke, she passed him a bottle of root beer. "Oh, and somebody studied up on how to make various kinds of soft drinks ourselves," she added, as Throttle eagerly popped the cap off and started chugging, "something that the restaurateurs around here have been wanting to do for a while. Now seemed like as good a time as any."

A pleasant kind of silence fell after that, marked only by Tamerin's quiet movements and the occasional comment or remark. As the evening wore on and the smell of food cooking filled the room, Throttle felt a tension that had been inside him ever since he left Mars finally start to loosen a little. Enough for him to relax in his seat and chug a few more bottles of root beer. By the time Tamerin finished cooking and brought steaming dishes to the table, he was feeling a pleasant sugar buzz.

Light conversation continued as the two of them dined on an exotic-looking dish that Tamerin claimed was a 'weird' mixture of Eastern and Western cuisine that didn't really have a name. Throttle didn't really care; it tasted good, and by the time dinner was over his stomach was comfortably full, in a way that made him warm and a little sleepy.

As Tamerin pushed her chair back and started to clear the table, Throttle leaned over and placed his hand over hers, stilling her. "I'll handle that," he told her, taking the empty dishes from her hands. "You go relax."

She looked surprised for a moment, but then a quiet, grateful smile touched her lips. She headed off to the living room, and Throttle busied himself with putting the dirty dishes away. Although he really didn't have any idea how to actually run the machine he found, already partially laden with other dishes, so after adding the ones from tonight he closed the lid and went into the living room.

He found Tamerin sitting on a round stool near the windows - although perched was probably a better description. She had her feet tucked up next to her rear, her knees pulled up against her chest. She had her chin rested on them and she was gazing at a clear rectangular-shaped object in her hands. It was flat and transparent, so Throttle could see from his angle the image of an Imeeran that looked a lot like Jayce. He had the same shadow-black skin and garnet-red eyes, but his long hair was a soft gray. There was a warm, happy smile on his face.

Throttle didn't need to ask to know who he was, and he stayed quiet as he sat down on the edge of the couch. With a sigh, Tamerin set the picture down and rested her hands on her bare feet, her eyes distant. The sight of her sitting like that made her seem small - almost fragile. Not at all like the tall, powerful woman she usually appeared to be.

Everybody has different sides to them, he reminded himself. But it seemed like Tamerin wasn't concerned, as most people were, in showing part of herself and hiding the rest. She let the different facets of her personality show through whenever it suited her, regardless of who was around or where she was. Throttle didn't know very many who were that comfortable with themselves.

He assumed this was why her mother called her too emotional, even though he had yet to see her let her emotions get the better of her - aside from anger, that is. Or maybe it wasn't anger so much as it was passion, he mused. Someone full of passion had a habit of acting without thinking first - a bad trait for someone in the military. Thank goodness she wasn't, he reminded himself wryly.

He was also glad that they weren't touching right now - or that even if they were, Tamerin wouldn't be reading his mood anymore. He would be pretty embarrassed if she figured out that his thoughts kept centering around her. He didn't mean them to, but in his sleepy state, his mind kept wandering away from him. With a yawn, he pushed up from the couch. "I better go."

Tamerin lifted her head, looking almost startled that he'd spoken, like she'd forgotten he was there. "Huh? Oh - you can stay. I don't mind."

Throttle didn't plan to stick around for the night, but his already sluggish body responded to her words and grew even sleepier. Maybe just for a minute, he told himself, sitting down and relaxing into the plump cushions of the couch. "Just for a minute," he repeated, out loud this time. His voice came out quiet and sleepy, and his eyes drooped shut. Another minute or two wouldn't hurt.