Strangers, Chapter Twenty-One
***A continuation of Chapter Twenty Jared finally understands why Alexandros is so fond of him.
After hearing Bagoas' words about Philotas' death, for a moment Jared said nothing, feeling suddenly rather uncomfortable.
"You, ah, you still love him, Alexandros, I mean don't you?"
Bagoas bowed his head deeply and reverently placed his fisted right hand over his heart. "I do, very much - forever as it is still with Hefestion he is the Lord of my Heart."
"I have never met anyone I have felt that way about. I've been in love." Jared found himself feeling shy thinking about the women in his life. "I mean I guess you could say that, I've had really strong feelings for some women in my life, but nothing like the way you all…nothing. I never…" For a moment he felt a great envy of Bagoas' love and devotion for Alexandros and the feeling he was missing something.
"Perhaps you have not yet met the one who will move your heart as he does mine. Do not fear, you will I am certain of it." He smiled mysteriously at Jared who mused on the "Persian Boy's" intriguing talents. He was nothing as he might have expected Bagoas to be, well at least nothing like the Bagoas who had been portrayed in the movie. "I am most sure of it, you will, perhaps when you are ready to allow yourself to truly love, to merge yourself with another's soul."
Jared shook his head a bit, "I don't quite understand…"
Bagoas said nothing but merely gifted Jared with another enigmatic smile. Jared considered that might have been part of what had drawn Alexandros to him. He was struck by the realization that Alexandros had a great capacity not only to love, but to see deeply within other people, to understand them with great compassion and empathy. Alexandros was very good at ferreting out what was best in a person, their talents, that sort of thing, and no doubt took advantage of that. Yet it seemed at odds with a man who had been a powerful warrior, and the greatest military leader of all time. However, it was clearly a large part of the man's makeup. Again, Jared found himself drawn back to Alexandros, wanting, almost yearning to be near him, watch him, speak with him, and yes, to touch him again. He fell back against the thick pillows behind his head and groaned.
"Your mind is troubled."
"Are you psychic too?" Jared played with the dark colored fabric covering him. It was not the regular bedspread. It was silky and appeared very thin but quite warm. The color reminded him of the wine he and Alexandros had drunk that day, that very special day, it was a warm red-purple color.
"You are intrigued by your blanket?"
"There you go again, reading my mind." He chuckled. He was enjoying the Persian's company. Although he did not ever think he would see him as the "Persian Boy" of Mary Renault's famed novel. He was a far more complex being and not nearly as feminine, a trait which he had associated with Renault's characterization of Bagoas. "It's not what is usually on my bed. Housekeeping decide to change up the décor?" He jested.
"No," Bagoas grinned back. "It has special properties to aid the body in the healing process when it has gone through a shock.
"Paradise in every way," Jared lifted his hands. "Someone gets their skull bashed in and vóila within moments they are back to normal. Unfortunately, the poor jerk who did the bashing he didn't quite get the opportunity to recover from what he had done." He winked but could hear the bitterness in his voice. He glanced up but noticed Bagoas was quiet, his striking face contemplative. He glanced away then looked back and his eyes met Jared's.
"I understand how greatly he hurt you, not the physical hurt, but the other, the desire that followed the act."
"No shit!" Jared was half out of bed before realizing he had even moved propelled forward by his anger. "But, hey, you know, I'm used to it by now. People I consider my friends they always show their affection for me by attempting to drown me like I'm an unwanted puppy." Suddenly it was as though he was standing once more back in that pond hearing the sound of Hefestion's voice as it floated toward him and then felt his strong hands grasp his shoulders before he plunged him deep into the dark waters in that deadly grip that held him down even though he struggled and fought with him. It had seemed so innocent…ha, he should have known better. He'd seen the man fight, watched he and Alexandros go at it. Hefestion inviting him to go for a swim, ha, what a fucking lie. "How many people have tried to drown you? I didn't ask for any of this. Alexandros sought me out you know, it wasn't the other way around!" He realized he was shouting and drew in a deep breath, shut his eyes and tried to focus on his breathing.
A soft hand rested on his shoulder. "You must speak with him soon. I know he desires this greatly. He is greatly at odds with himself over what he did, and of course, Akhillies berating him has brought home the message even more of the poor quality of his behavior."
"Akhillies…he's a pretty big man around here, isn't he? Why?" He studied Bagoas for a few moments. The man's suggestions had shocked him he still couldn't quite believe what had happened. He leaned close to Bagoas. "If I didn't know better I'd say Hefestion is afraid of Akhillies. I know that's crazy, why would he be and all, but I thought I saw something in his face when he saw him." Carefully he watched the other man's face for any sign of information that might tell him if he had imagined the scene between the two men or not.
Bagoas rested his chin in a long, slender hand. "Hefestion admires Akhillies greatly." He pursed his lips and his face took on that mysterious expression again. "Akhillies is a sort of general to the rest of us, even over Alexandros, although I would say they are on more equal footing. It does not do well to anger Akhillies. Oh, he would no longer harm anyone of us physically, he has learned the ways of wisdom, that a man no longer need use physical force to show himself to be a man. Hefestion has worked hard also to achieve this goal, although he and Alexandros well, there is a wildness that runs through them still."
"That still doesn't explain all this, my dilemma with Hefestion. Maybe you can enlighten me, since you seem to read people's minds. What's going on with him?"
Bagoas laughed, "I do not need to be psychic to understand your dilemma." Jared shook his head, frowning in irritation and pushed back the spread and got up and began to stride about.
"That is exactly what Akhilles said about the situation with Hefestion. So, what exactly is the problem? I never did anything to him. I can't help what Alexandros feels or does. I'm not his keeper, and neither is Hefestion, at least I get the impression Alexandros is very much his own man."
"He is, but he was also greatly taken with you." Bagoas lips broke into a smile and he rose, and went toward the Continuum Tapestry and waved a hand before it and spoke some words. "Come, I think you should see this, it will explain much."
"Fine, whatever, I guess." Jared grumbled as he strode slowly over to stand beside Bagoas. "What am I looking at?" So far all he could see was a lot of sand dunes and then a river, rich green water, and a couple of boats. The scene unfolded before him, two boats packed full of men, clearly with Alexandros and Hefestion. He turned gesturing with his hand. "Where are you?"
"I was not with Sikander then. I still served my old master, Darius; I did not meet Sikander until later. Watch, it will be most helpful to you." Jared pulled up the stool and plunked himself down and sipping the drink watched what looked like a sightseeing trip down the Nile River.
"Hey, look, the Pyramids! They don't look anything like they do today." He peered closer toward the screen. "Is that gold on the top stones and they're painted. Look at that! It's wild, they're so beautiful the way they glitter in the sun, it's really ancient Egypt isn't it!" He sat up excited, and then shouted. "My god that's the Sphinx! It's so different looking than it is now, the full headdress, the face, it's complete, what a strong face, and it's painted! Look at all those buildings. What are they, and the long causeway it goes all the way up to the largest pyramid? Man, I still can't believe it, it really is half man and half lion." He muttered to himself entranced. "There's grass too, I just can't believe it, no sand, no desert but lush green grass. It's all so beautiful! I wish I could have been there."
Bagoas laughed a little. "You are in a way, what you see is living history."
"You mean the past it's like home movies of past events."
"No," Bagoas shook his head and he strode over to pick up an orange which he peeled slowly as he spoke. "It is continuous; it is not a memory, or scenes from the past, but that which is happening now at the very moment there."
"That's not possible," Jared frowned, "How can that be, the past is over, it doesn't go on."
"Oh, but it does, in its own dimension, thus the name "Continuum" Tapestry. It is a falsity to think that once an event or life is lived it is over. All things continue in their own place, their own time forever, each moment exists forever. That is where we draw memory from. What we think of as "history" is also a falsity. There is that which has been and still is and will continue to be, always."
"That's just not possible," Jared laughed "It's not possible! How can that be?"
Bagoas merely shrugged. "How can it not? Simply because something is not understandable does not make it impossible. Now watch," Again he pointed toward the screen.
Feelings of confusion and amazement mingled together as Jared watched as the first boat, a very, large flat sort of barge type floated along. It was painted gold, green and blue and gay flags and garlands were hung about it. It was flat, but had three decks, the highest smaller than the rest. A gold and blue stripped awning spread its full length. Rich carpeting and pillows were piled high looking very inviting and short table laden with food and drink and flowers were set about. A small trio of musicians was gathered in one corner on the second deck, which was also carpeted. The strains of a harp and flute floated along the waves. Another boat also decked out with garlands, and gaily painted, but not quite as large followed some way behind. There was the air of a party about both boats. Men's voices were shouting to one another, singing, laughing.
"There's Alexandros!" Jared laughed, Alexandros, in a dark blue chiton was leaning over the edge of the gold painted railings and waving to someone, he was smiling, and shouting, his sunlight hair wreathed with white flowers. Happiness was very clear on his face. Then in an instant his look went from pleasure to horror. The boat behind which was more heavily weighted down with a larger group began to founder. It was taking on water and people began to cry out. Some jump off or slid into the Nile, which was full of crocodiles. As the men jumped over the side the green water turned foamy white and then red as blood floated in the lacy white wake. Long planks of wood and arrows churned the water as attempts were made to beat off the crocodiles. Painful screams echoed in the air along with cries of horror. The long tail of one great croc, a beast of gigantic proportion lashed out and smashed into the second boat. It wobbled dreadfully and began to sway heavily deeper into the water. The croc vanished and then without warning seemed to leap upward out of the water overturning the already listing barge. Sailors were beating at it with their swords and arrows and lances slammed into it in such a great rush that it looked like a strange watery pincushion. With a great roar it began to sink but not before its tail hit the second boat one last time.
Alexandros was shouting frantically gesturing for the pilot to turn the barge about; he was shoving and pushing people aside. Hefestion grabbed him by the back of his chiton pulling him back as he was on the verge of jumping in. He and another man, Jared didn't recognize held him as he fought and shouted with them. Pandemonium reigned. Hefestion was shouting as well, especially toward a young man with white blond hair who had leapt off the sinking barge and managed to swim through the throng of bodies and snapping crocodiles toward the larger barge. Hefestion shoved through the jostling crowd to reach out to him and along with Alexandros pulled him upright onto their boat. Jared's heart was pounding as he watched Hefestion clutch the young man, who was dripping wet and trembling tightly in his arms. Alexandros had a large piece of white material in his hands and gave it to Hefestion who was wrapping it about the body of the young man and helped him to stand. Alexandros was everywhere running back and forth pulling survivors on board their boat. He had run on the top deck to grab some more large sheets of material and was returning with them when he turned at the sound of someone calling his name. He dropped one stumbling over it and threw himself down on the bottom deck holding onto the railing gesturing toward someone in the water. He was half in the water at that point and several other men kept trying to pull him back but he struggled with them as he inched further and further out over the green water.
Then Jared froze, the other boat came into view again, there was a young man just hanging onto the side of it. He was shouting Alexandros' name and waving to him. He could hear Alexandros scream back "Hektor, Hektor". The name seemed to hang in the air until it was no longer heard. Jared could hear the fear, the terror in Alexandros' voice and saw the expression on his face as at this point he was more than half way out over the agitated water. Guards nearby jabbed at crocodiles that came too close to their king. The young man's image Jared could only see from the side, but there was something about him, his manner, height, hair color, he couldn't tell exactly but he seemed familiar somehow. He slipped into the water and was swimming toward the other boat. Alexandros was urging him on waving his arms wildly as the young man grabbed onto a piece of loose planking. His long brown hair floated about him like shimmering bronze silk as the hot Egyptian sun glinted off it and the sparkling water. For a moment it looked like he would reach the other boat, but then he was pushed back, caught in a wave of current and battered by several other loose pieces of wood and began to go under. Alexandros was frantic yelling his name, urging people on running back and forth on the deck his boat. Hefestion came to aid Alexandros with a long lance in one hand and held it out toward the young man. His voice joined with Alexandros' yelling encouragement.
Then the young man's form rose up again as the Nile pushed him along toward Alexandros' boat. He waved an arm Alexandros waved back and held out another long stick preparing to help guide him in when again he was swamped by a wave of heavy water. He went under, his arms flailing, the water was washing over him, his arms still visible, Alexandros was shrieking now loudly, trying to get into the water, but was held back. Jared clutched his throat thinking how raw Alexandros' throat must have been. His cries had become rough and hoarse as he continued to shout the man's name, "Hektor" repeatedly. The young blond man Hefestion had rescued and several others where holding Alexandros back who was visibly sobbing tears streaming down his face.
Caught up with them Jared anxiously scanned the water looking for any sign of the young man, but he did not resurface. A few moments later the planking he had been holding onto did and Alexandros give a shrill cry of grief and nearly flung himself overboard. About him men where helping the survivors aboard and Jared watched as Hefestion, Alexandros and the young blond haired man clung together weeping.
His own face was dripping with tears when he looked up Alexandros' voice caught his attention and he gave a great gasp and doubled over as though in sudden pain, which caused Bagoas to quickly lean down and rest his arms gently about him. "My gods…" Jared muttered stunned. "That's impossible, how? He's…"
"Hektor, son of Parmenion and did I not know otherwise I would say it was you." Bagoas said sadly as they watched the young man's limp body pulled from the still frothing waters of the Nile and given into Alexandros' outstretched arms. Alexandros clutched the lifeless youth to him and rocked back and forth sobbing as he stroked the sodden locks.
To be continued….