Author's Note:
Hi guys. Gonna be quick about this cos it's late and I'm knackered. Sorry for the delay. I wanted to give you this as a Christmas present, then as a New Year present, but sadly the days just passed too fast. I've got excuses that I'm sure you're dying to hear (sarcasm), but in all honesty I've spent most of last year in hospital, and yes - it was a serious thing. 2015 sucked big time. Aside from trying to survive hospital, I was also trying to finish uni (which I did manage to do, with Honours too!). Overall - a boring, painful, sucky year.
This year is starting off in the same way - I'm home now but I'm still hella weak and recovery is taking its sweet, sweet time. I'm tired all the time and struggling to find the time to write due to all the follow-up hospital appointments and visits etc.
Also, this story is a bit of a bloody nightmare to write, you know? The plot is so twisty (well done, go me! *epic sarcasm*) and difficult to wrap my head around. I managed to scribble down some vague guidelines in hospital but frankly, my handwriting is goddamn awful and the guidelines don't really help, so I've done my best. It's just been really hard trying to get back into writing, you know? It doesn't come easy as it used to, which might be down to my mood lately.
Anyhoo, thanks for waiting - sorry for waiting. I hope to find more inspiration, time and motivation this year to write more quickly! Late Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone! I hope you had nice holidays!
~ puui x
It's kind of stupid, he thinks, that they are all gathered outside in the cold like this, losing body heat and saying nothing. The moment is meant to be poignant, he supposes, but it just feels awkward and unscripted to him - as if they are all waiting for someone to speak - someone to say something meaningful… but whoever that person should be is ignoring their cue (or completely unaware of it), and so it falls distinctly flat.
The previous day had been spent in equally foreboding silence. No one had known quite what to do, even with all of them probably thinking the same thing - that the mission was suicide, and that someone probably ought to put a stop it. None of them did though, knowing that despite the risk they took in embarking on such a perilous mission, it was a necessary risk, lest they leave the curse to fester.
So what it comes to is this - this terribly awkward stand-off which drags on for what seemed like ages.
Zero huffs a puff of smoky hot breath, and then Kaname's hands are on his face and suddenly he is there right in front of him, stealing it from him.
Hot air curls around, moist on their faces as he leans in ever-so-slowly and Zero's eyes flutter shut when their lips meet. He spreads his hands over Kaname's chest - doesn't let his fingers curl into his shirt like he wants to - it's hard. It's suddenly unbelievably difficult to hold himself back - to pretend that he is alright with them - with him leaving. Zero valiantly attempts to keep his thoughts to himself, his eyes stinging with angry tears as Kaname pulls back. Even his best efforts to keep his worry from showing are pointless - the way Kaname covers his hands with his own forces him to look up, and - fuck it. Kaname's eyes are glassy too, and the smile he tries is so brittle -
Zero hauls him in for another kiss. Fuck what the others think - he pours himself into the kiss, drags his hands up into Kaname's hair, sucks in the smell of him -
"Ugh, scarred."
He pulls back with a loud smack to see Kaito gagging in the background, and that the idiot has his hands covering a protesting Ichiru's eyes.
"So scarred," he shakes his head sadly before turning to Ichiru, "Stop struggling, you numpty, I'm protecting your innocence."
"Your hands are cold - bastard -"
"Will you be alright with them?"
Kaname's question amuses Zero as it was meant to, going by his seemingly more genuine smile. He nods, leaning his forehead against Kaname's briefly and pressing his thumb to the pulse in his neck.
"Be careful," he finds himself whispering, "Stay safe."
"We'll be back before you know it," Kaname promises, pressing a kiss to his temple. "Are you ready?" he asks the other two, though his eyes stay on Zero's and it feels like he's asking him -
"Ready, boss," Aidou chirps, and Kain grunts his answer too.
Kaname nods, still staring at Zero like he half-expects him to disappear. His eyes roam over him sending heat shooting through Zero's body. He's adoring him with is eyes, memorising him - and then he is gone. The warm imprints of his hands on Zero's face are like brands on his skin. Aidou and Kain withdraw from Ruka's clutches, their expressions grim as she is unable to mask a sob. A sharp whistle from somewhere beyond where they can see summons them, and so they hurry on to follow Kaname into the mist.
"So… that's that then."
Ruka's voice is wobbly, and when Zero turns to her she is blinking rapidly, but there are no tears. He swallows and nods - that's that. They seem to be losing more ground in this war by the second, or at least it seems that way. He motions at the others to get back inside. The silence is overbearing, and the whiteness of the landscape blinding… it's not safe to loiter around here as they are.
To him it feels much too exposed - the way they are. A tent atop a mountain is hardly a fortress. Snowflakes catch on his eyelashes as he peers into the swirling white sky, and it reminds him of - of the dream, of course. That blasted dream he keeps having -
He looks around with his heart in his throat, anxiety curling in his chest in the cavity behind his ribs like a gathering storm. Only three of them have gone - Kain, Aidou and Kaname - and yet.
And yet it feels like they have lost much more than half the group. It's reminiscent of the time when Takuma and Benomi left, and then when Rima and Yagari went too…
Frankly, Zero dares not think what the next few days might bring.
It's like the wind has been stolen from their sails. Stepping inside the tent, he is shocked to see how much that's true. Their movements are slow and jagged, forgetful and clumsy. Even Seiren, who is usually so careful and precise looks like a buffering video as she tugs repeatedly on the sleeve of a rather listless Ichiru. Ruka has her hands curled in tight fists. Beautiful as she is, fear does not suit her - making her pale, with thin lips and wide, unblinking eyes.
He claps his hands. "Okay. Everyone needs to relax. They will be fine," he insists in his best 'pep talk' voice, though looking at them all… well, he can't honestly look any of them in the eye whilst promising them this, and their silence speaks volumes. Well done, Mr Team Leader, he mentally rolls his eyes at himself, "Seriously. There's no point in worrying."
"You're right. Why should we worry? It's not like three of our best have gone off into the unknown to try and bargain with the Head Honcho Bad Guy to release his evil curse. It's not like we are thus left with our thumbs up our asses atop a fucking mountain covered in snow. It's definitely not likely that this will probably end with us running for our lives down said mountain when they inevitably get caught and tortured into revealing our location. On the bright side, Zero," Kaito grins, "By that time you'll probably be big enough by then that you can roll down it - "
"You shut your face," he snaps, but his words are like water off a duck's back.
" - and wouldn't it be cool if, say, one or two of us manage to catch a ride on you? Like tobogganing or something! That would be pretty neat."
"Seiren," Zero growls, and - the goddess that she is - she delivers a beautiful kick right up the side of his head. The idiot is still laughing though and somehow manages to grab hold of one of her flying feet.
"I'm sorry, I just think it's hilarious that you're telling us not to worry when it's obvious that's exactly what you're doing, you fucking hypocrite. Who are you trying to fool here? We all know things are going tits up everywhere in this fucking war right now, and with us being on the losing side there is very little to not be worrying about."
"We aren't on any side of the war - we aren't even in it, remember?"
"Oh come off it," Kaito scoffs, "Don't be so bloody stupid. Just because Kaname said, just because he tried to keep us out of it and all nice and safe - it's not bloody worked at all, Zero. Wake up and smell the fucking coffee - we're in this. We were always in this, whether we chose to be or not. We're fucking Vampires and Hunters, each one of us - so whatever happens in this war will affect us either way."
"He's not wrong," Ichiru reluctantly admits, sending Zero an apologetic shrug, "And remember this whole baby thing? Kaname said it's directly linked to the outcome of the war too… somehow. He didn't… he didn't specifically say how though, did he?" he asks to no answer.
All of these things to worry about…
And yet, nothing they can do to deal with them.
That's what's truly horrible about it - they are so passive in this war. They are only a small group of people - albeit with strong powers and considerable political influence - they are fugitives, and they are being Hunted. Zero is so far out of his element that he can barely feel the ground beneath his feet, and the overwhelming feeling of being abandoned sucks all the air out of the tent -
All of a sudden he finds himself being tipped onto a pallet of blankets, Ruka's grip on him biting and painful. The room sways, their voices sounding more like wails than actual words - he yelps when Ruka's grip turns even tighter, branding his arm with white hot pain. It snaps him out of it though, and soon he can breathe again, with the help of Seiren dragging his brothers outside for a good talking-to. He sucks in some much-needed air. A panic attack. Brilliant.
Zero waits for his pulse to settle, grounding himself in Ruka's bruising grip and patient, knowing stare.
"Okay," he whispers, nodding, "Thanks."
"They're a right couple of brainless twats at times, those brothers of yours," she tuts, shaking her head, "Don't know when to shut up. Are you really okay or just saying that?"
"I'm fine."
"Uh-huh," she leans back on her heels, "Seiren sweetie, can you keep them chuckleheads out there for a bit longer please? Take them for a long walk or something… "
"You don't need to do that," Zero scoffs, crossing his legs and resting his head in his hands. So, they're going to talk now, are they? He can recognise the signs, and knows better than to try to escape. When Ruka wants to talk, attempting to escape is stupid. And dangerous.
Years of trying have taught him this, and so - he squints up at her in wary defeat.
She shoots him an expression of such pure determination it makes a shudder go down his spine, and thus the questioning begins - "How are you doing, Zero?"
"You've already asked me this." She cocks her eyebrow. "I already said I was fine. And. I am."
"With that stupid mission and our position in this war - sure. I get that. I wouldn't say you're 'fine', but more accurately 'resigned' to both. What I'm asking about is - how are you doing about the… you know."
At his blank stare, she mimes a bulging stomach. Oh. Astute. How astute.
Yeah, he'd only really started panicking when Ichiru joined in with talking about the baby. Before, he'd merely been irritated by Kaito's cajoling, but when Ichiru added in his two cents… he kind of… lost it. It was like his mind latched onto that thread and pulled. Ichiru's talk about the baby had really knocked him for six, and now… now he was beginning to feel panicky again. But panicky about what exactly?
"Are we really going to do this?" he whines, groaning at Ruka when she clamps a hand on his ankle and sits down heavily - her lips pursed tightly, "Talking about my feelings is not going to help anybody."
"It might help you. You never know - talking helps sometimes, and something tells me you need to get this out. Come on. We spent yesterday brooding - all of us, brooding in our own little bubbles. Everyone needed their own space to process, but now its time to talk. You need it, Zero. Come on. Tell me what set you off about the baby."
No beating around the bush then - she went right for it, as she naturally would. Zero both hates and loves her for her bluntness, because while it really does save time, it can also be cruel and jarring as fuck.
He sucks in a deep breath, gingerly placing his hand atop the topic of conversation and inwardly balks at how much further his fingers have to stretch to encompass the bump. The baby - fuck, it's growing. Of course it's growing, he knows it's growing - but to feel it, to feel the change instead of ignoring it as he usually does… he brings his other hand to cover the parts that are left exposed and is amazed for a second at how much there is.
Even though he is still much thinner than he should be, his body has not let this affect the baby's growth. Fuck if he knows if it's developing as it should. Seiren is technically the expert in this and she hasn't said a word so far, so he assumes its development is normal. How does he feel about it though?
"I…"
He curls his fingers into the fabric of his shirt, bunching it up to reveal a strip of swollen, rounded belly. It shouldn't be surprising to see the thin, silvery stretch marks beginning to show, but while Zero isn't really bothered by them - they are a reminder to him of the permanence of pregnancy.
In that this will end with a child.
His child. This will end with him having a child and becoming a parent.
It's not really about that though, is it? Even though he has every right to be freaking out about the physical changes in his body and the evidence that the baby is very much alive and growing - it's not that, is it?
"What's bothering you about it? I mean, I thought you were mostly okay about having it now. Does it still squick you out a bit?"
"Oh, it squicks me out a lot, there's no doubt about that. It's not that though, it's… it's Kaname," he realises slowly, the truth revealing itself as he says it aloud - "Kaname - that bastard has it all figured out already, hasn't he? He knows what he's about. He knows that he'll do anything for the kid, he - he loves it so damn much already. How can he do that, Ruka? How can he be so - so sure about it when I'm the one carrying it? I should be getting used to this - to being pregnant, to the idea of having a baby. I should feel more - I don't know… attached, I suppose? But I'm not."
"You're worried because you don't know how you feel about your baby?"
"No, I'm worried because I know exactly how I feel - I don't love it, Ruka. I don't feel anything for it at all. It's just - there. It's just this thing inside me. And I can't feel anything for it. I don't think it's normal to be like this. Shouldn't I feel something? Even hating it would be good, but i'm just… I don't know, indifferent?"
Ruka then surprises him by taking him by the shoulders and leaning in till most of what he can see is just her eyes. Her lovely, large eyes. Well, fuck.
"Now I can see why you're related to those two idiots."
"He, I'm only actually related to one of them by blood.'
She gives him a distinctly unimpressed look, "Kiryuu Zero, you aren't 'supposed' to feel anything. It isn't wrong to have no attachment to the baby, even though it must seem that way thanks to Kaname broadcasting his love for it with all the subtlety of a fucking peacock in mating season. So what if he's a proud papa? That has no bearing on you or what you should feel. You don't love it now, heck - you might not like it even when it's born - and that's fine. Loads of women claim to fall in love with their babies the moment they lay eyes on them - good for them, but they're not you, and you may feel differently."
"Yeah, but what if I never grow to love it? How fucking sad would that be? Telling my own child I don't love them. That'll fuck them up for sure."
"Maybe it will," she shrugs, "Maybe they'll accept that you were put in a situation where you really didn't have any choice on whether to have them or not, and even though you would've probably been happier not having to deal with the hassle of being pregnant, you endured it for them. Maybe they'll be happy enough that you gave them life, and satisfied enough with having only Kaname's love. Who knows? All we can know for sure is that what you're feeling, or not feeling rather - it's not wrong and not your fault. I wouldn't put much stock into Kaname's infatuation with the kid anyways, I mean, it's not like it has a personality yet - what is there to love?
"He loves the idea of it, perhaps, or maybe the idea of being a father has always appealed to him. Those parents who claim to love their babies from the very start… I think it's less love, more relief that they feel, than anything. The mother is probably relieved that the labour and all the months of pregnancy are finally over. The father probably is glad to see that both the child and mother have survived childbirth. That kind of overwhelming relief might easily be mistaken for love, Zero. In the end we are all different, and we deal with life-changing events such as having a baby differently."
"I know, I just… I guess I just wish I was more like Kaname in this," Zero admits, closing his eyes as he recalls the feel of Kaname's fingers on his face, "I wish I could share in his joy, but part of me won't let myself."
"You're just stubborn."
He opens his eyes to see Ruka grinning at him, her eyes uncharacteristically soft.
"You don't like change, do you, Zero?"
He thinks over it a minute, and then shakes his head, "No. Hate it."
This makes her laugh, which draws a reluctant smile to his lips.
"We'll be alright, Zero," Ruka says, patting his heel with more affection than the action should allow. He hums in agreement, hands still cupping the bump out of nothing more than habit. It reminds him… whilst they are having such a pleasant heart-to-heart, would it be a good idea to talk to Ruka about the dream?
It's just that… he hasn't told anyone but Kaname about it, and yet… having the same repeated dream for several times in a row now is not something that ought to be ignored. The chances are it means something - something possibly quite bad, with their luck. Something to do with Lady, maybe? He wouldn't put it past her to be involved in messing with his head - his dreams. The thing is - he thinks about it all the time now - he can't help it since there's not much else to occupy himself with in the tent.
Zero opens his mouth - but then he sees that she is smiling.
Her soft hands rub at the sharp jut of his ankle.
He considers how close she'd been to tears before, and how she'd blinked back tears and yet refused to make any mention of her own fears, pushing them aside in favour of calming him down.
He shuts his mouth.
"Everything alright back there, Aidou?"
The wind should make it difficult to hear Kaname, but it's like he's talking directly into his ear. Aidou casts a quick glance Kain's way, noting how his long loping strides make him look like a little like a drunk bear, but aside from this comical detail he looks perfectly lucid. He meets Aidou's look with a questioning one of his own, to which Aidou shakes his head.
"Yup. He's still with us," he replies, inwardly hating himself. He hates himself for reporting on Kain, for talking about him behind his back. As far as Kain knows - their mission is simply to check on Takuma's status and see what Inoue is up to. He knows nothing about the curse.
It was Kaname's decision to keep him in the dark on that one. To make him aware of it might just set something off.
"Still with us," Kaname echoes, his voice unreadable to Aidou, and with him facing ahead of them he was unable to guess at what he might be thinking.
They were following Kaname's lead with the idea being that - once again - they should behave as if it were any other mission to keep Kain under the illusion that things were normal. Their formation meant that Aidou was in the middle and Kain took up the rear. He couldn't help but feel his anxiety grow with each time he threw a glance over his shoulder to check Kain. It feels very much like they are being chased - like Kain is nipping at their heels - even though the fire master is perfectly calm in his demeanour and looks rather bored, in all honesty.
"Watch your heart rate, Aidou. It's climbing."
He gasps, ducking as if to hide - oh dear. How amateur of him to let his worry show like this. He mustn't let it seem as if he is scared, or else Kain will want to know what's causing that - and he can't let that happen because they are to act normal for as long as possible. That's the plan.
Deep breaths.
He still catches a wisp of Kain's concern crossing the Bond, and suddenly it hits Aidou how impossible this all is.
How abnormal they are already acting - without him even meaning to, he's been shutting Kain out. Partly out of fear that he might let slip about the curse - partly because he cannot bear to know whether Kain is suffering more the longer he has to deal with his current deafness. Kain doesn't let it show when he is suffering - he's always been that way. Unfortunately, being Bonded to him gives Aidou a better idea of when he is in pain, but right now… right now he wouldn't be able to stand it if he was to open the Bond.
The thing is - their Bond is nearly always open between them. This recent closing-off is so unlike them that it must rankle Kain up already - he's already clued in to the fact that they're hiding something from him. Worse - that Aidou is hiding something from him… Kain isn't stupid though, and oh, what if he's decided to play them at their own game? Pretending to be none-the-wiser as he waits for one of them to trip up? Is that what he's doing? Is that -
"I mean it Aidou," Kaname snaps, "Get in control of yourself right now or you're blowing this mission. I can hear his heart picking up too. He knows something isn't right."
Aidou sucks in another deep breath slowly. Fuck. He can feel Kain's mind stirring, shifting over his - like a finger trailing down his spine. He's assessing Aidou. He's watching him - he can feel his eyes on him like a laser.
"I don't know what to do, Kaname - I don't know what to do," he babbles, stumbling on the ground as he loses focus, "How do I stop it? I can't keep shutting him out - he can feel me hiding from him. He knows me too well - oh god, what do I do?"
"Calm down - right now. I need you to keep a level head. Are you with me, Aidou?"
Kain's mind paws at him, and fuck - it's awful. It's rank with suspicion, tinged with hurt - oh how Aidou wishes he could comfort him. It's not right. They should never be like this - they should always be together, on the same side - honest.
Aidou almost chews through his lip as he forces his mind to clear, concentrates on breathing slowly - focuses on bringing his heartbeat back down to normal.
He's so focused on doing this that he almost runs right into Kaname's back - unaware that he'd stopped. Why has he stopped?
Kaname swerves around him without missing a beat, forcing Aidou to follow behind out of pure confusion - oh. That's why.
A few yards off, there's Kain just standing there on the rocky ground, his head bowed. Kaname must have noticed he'd stopped running - the proper question they should be asking was therefore why had Kain stopped? As they draw closer to the fire master, all of Aidou's efforts come undone - he feels his heart rate quicken again as the distinct feeling that something has gone horribly wrong grips him. There's something inexplicably terrifying about the way Kain is standing so perfectly still, his head tilted downwards so that his face is hidden. He is a huge man, and yet he's never looked larger than he does now - for some reason. Aidou's eyes dart all over him, considering the possibility that an injury might be the reason for him stopping - but no. He's not got a scratch on him.
"Kain?" Kaname asks carefully, reaching a hand out to touch his shoulder. One of them would have to touch him to garner his attention, what with him being deaf now - but Aidou almost feels like it should be him. He bites his bloodied lip in an effort to not tell Kaname not to touch Kain, even though every instinct inside of him is screaming for them to back away from Kain - something's really not right about this -
Kain doesn't react to Kaname's hand on his shoulder at first, but then - like something out of a nightmare - he jerks out of reach. The motion has him staggering back on his feet - and Kaname and Aidou recoil accordingly. They watch in horror as he steadies slowly, his arms hanging loose from the shoulder, his head tilting back and revealing the strangest smile on his face.
His smile widens as he looks at both of them, and then he opens his mouth to speak -
But it's not his voice that comes out from it. It's pitched higher than his usual baritone and is breathier too.
"Well, well, well. I did wonder when you might discover my little secret. Took you long enough," Kain drawls, "And now I assume you're coming to pay me a visit? You're hoping to somehow convince me to undo the curse, am I right? I do hope you aren't under the impression I'll do it for free? 'Cause you know, I'm just not that kind of guy."
"Kaname," Aidou whimpers, reaching backwards blindly. He grapples for Kaname's offered hand and gratefully squeezes it, needing it to anchor himself. "Kaname, what is happening?"
Kaname steps around him, and Aidou hardly dares breathe when he makes a move to step closer to Kain - he's rooted to the spot in fear - unable to stop Kaname. His hold on Kaname's hand tightens pleadingly, and it's this that moors Kaname to a stop, though he is at the limit of their arms' reach and far too close to Kain for Aidou's liking.
"I do believe we are in the presence of someone else now, aren't we," Kaname says slowly, his confidence in the situation never wavering (much to Aidou's disbelief). "…Inoue, was it?"
Kain - or rather, Inoue - throws back his head to laugh in delight.
"Right you are, as always, Kaname-sama," he exclaims, "It is a pleasure to finally get the chance to speak to you, though unfortunately meeting you in person will have to wait. For now, I get to use this handsome fellow as a medium. I do apologise - it must look strange, to see his face but hear my voice, but I'm sure you'll manage."
"So he is to become your puppet?" Kaname asks, squeezing Aidou's hand in warning when he starts to whine.
"Puppet - minion - plaything… take your pick," Inoue shrugs, "It doesn't matter what you call this, all it means is that I get to tag along with you until you get here."
What it means is he gets to keep an eye on them throughout their journey, meaning that every little thing they do from here on out will be seen by Inoue. They can't communicate privately then, can they? Inoue will be watching them carefully, so they can't exchange anything without him noticing.
"How kind of you," he hears Kaname say with no small amount of sarcasm, "Offering to accompany us on this trip. I would have thought you'd be too busy to do such a thing?"
"Too busy for the King?" Inoue laughs again (personally, Aidou thinks he laughs far too much), "What could possibly be more important than an audience with the King?"
Aidou cringes inwardly at Inoue's nauseating flattery. It isn't even as if he's being sarcastic or mocking about it - there's something in the way he talks that convinces Aidou that he really holds Kaname in high regard, possibly in too high regard actually. It's almost worshipful, the way he speaks… obsessive in a way that makes his skin crawl.
"Kaname," he whispers. He flinches when Kaname's eyes flick towards him - he hadn't meant to speak, not with Inoue now watching them so closely - but then, he looks up at his husband's face, and -
When he meets his eyes it's like he slips into his mind - like he gets a peek at what's happening inside.
He can feel Inoue's curse surrounding Kain's mind. It's like ropes tying him up, stringing him up like a… like a puppet. "Kaname!"
"Yes, Aidou?"
He doesn't have to look at Kaname to know he's giving him a look, as if he'd completely forgotten they weren't exactly free to speak to one another right now without consequence, unless…
"I think I've got something in my eye."
"Your eye - Aidou?"
He goes for it - turning to Kaname in such a way that Inoue cannot see his face, he winks and then stares into Kaname's eyes, hoping he will know what he means to do. Kaname frowns for a split second, but then - Aidou feels him slip into his mind. He's done so enough times before that the even though it is a rather uncomfortable experience he knows what to expect, and directs Kaname to the thoughts he wants him to see - the feeling he got from Kain by looking through their Bond. He shows him how Kain feels - like he's tied up in ropes, unable to get free.
"Ah, I see," Kaname blows into his face, acting as if he's brushing away some dirt, "Got it. Is that better?"
"Yep, thanks," Aidou nods, blinking. He doesn't know if it's any help to Kaname, knowing that little piece of information, but somehow it felt important to him.
"Are we all ready to head on with this little trip then?" Inoue asks, clapping his hands impatiently. He grins at Aidou though, when he turns to him. "Can't wait to meet you face-to-face."
Of course you can't, you creepy bastard, Aidou thinks grimly, but straightens up when Kaname nods. "All set."
"Excellent," Inoue says far too brightly, "Then, let's go!"
He's getting rather sick and tired of waking up in unfamiliar places, but at least after experiencing this a few times he knows what to expect. The grogginess from being drugged is new, but apart from that, Takuma feels alright, if a little more wary of his surroundings. He has reason to be - after all, he was drugged. He was drugged and now he's in a new room - it's as generic as the other room he'd been given had been, but with a large mirror on one of the walls.
Takuma's watched enough procedural cop shows in his lifetime to recognise a one-way mirror, and he knows what it means.
He's being watched.
He lets that thought roll around his head for a few seconds, lets his brain digest this fact.
It bothers him a bit - of course it does - but he gets over it pretty fast, because let's be real - he knows he's been under whoever's watch for a while now. For all the time he's been here (wherever 'here' is), he's never been left alone. The only time he was alone was the time when he got out and managed to wander downstairs, hoping to find Benomi.
So without further ado, he decides to engage with his captor.
"Who's there?" he calls, looking around for the microphone. He assumes they'll be listening in to him as well, so it should be somewhere. "Hello? I'm not stupid, you know. I know you're out there watching me."
There is no response for a while. Takuma guesses the guard is probably consorting with his superior on what to say, but surely enough, after a couple minutes he gets a short reply.
"You are right, Takuma-san, but you have no reason to be afraid. You are safe where you are. Relax and rest. Inoue-san will be return shortly." The speaker crackles a little and then cuts off.
"Do you mean that he has left?" Takuma asks.
Again, the reply is delayed. He wonders what information they're allowing him - how much of it is made of lies, how much of it he can believe.
"He has not left the premises. He is, however, currently engaged in business. He will be with you shortly. Rest. Remain calm."
Have they left him with some sort of robot? He could not sound more like an answering machine if he is a real person. Takuma rolls over the mattress and rises to his feet. He's been told to 'remain calm' and 'rest', but all that's done is made him more anxious and restless. Where is Inoue, and what is he up to? So far he's been sticking to Takuma like glue, so for him to be somewhere else must mean that 'business' is more important to him than Takuma, which… well, it can't help but sound rather ominous to him.
"Can I have some food, please?" he asks, "Some water and blood pills, perhaps?"
There is no answer, but he takes that to mean yes. His hope is that when they bring the food he can hopefully get a better idea of where he is in that moment when the door is open - right now, as he sniffs around the place, he can't really smell anything. That tells him that the room is airtight, as well as being featureless, with no windows to tell him where he is. He could be far underground for all he knows - hopefully that small opening when the food comes will be enough to give him a better understanding on where he is.
When he'd been looking for Benomi, his scent-searching had sent him downstairs, below-ground… it hadn't been a successful venture, but could he still be underground? Had Inoue put him here as punishment for going on his little wander? Would he be punished for that?
Benomi - he hadn't actually managed to find him, had he? Just that room with those machines and that chemical smell… and he had heard his heartbeat too - he was sure of it. But then he'd gotten interrupted by - by Inoue and someone else. They'd been talking about… something. Something that had made Inoue angry - no, scared, almost. He'd sounded pretty stressed about it either way, which gave Takuma a bad feeling. What if they'd been talking about Benomi?
Something's triggered him. Something has made him react to - to his surroundings -
What did that mean? What could have 'triggered' Benomi, and why (and how) would he react in such a manner that would frighten anybody?
So many questions, so much he didn't know about the situation… it all made him want to pound at the mirror and scream, but he knew that would be foolish. Already he was low on energy, what with the Thirst causing havoc to his system the longer he went unfed. All he wanted to know was where was Benomi and was he okay - why was he here and what does Inoue want with him -
But for now, Takuma knew it was not the right time to waste his strength on his frustrations. For now, he would have to just wait and see.
They've not been gone for more than a couple of weeks, and yet… Rima finds herself missing the others a lot more than she thought she would. Initially she had expected to feel relief at being away from all the drama, and to be of better use to them out on the field, but that relief didn't last much longer than a couple days. With her only contact being Yagari, Rima found the hours dragged on, and her heart grew heavier as the days passed.
Yagari left her for days at a time, though he was leaving less frequently as more time passed and more of his sources became inaccessible to him. When he was around, he and she got on pretty well, all things considered. He would update her on his findings - not much, was the general consensus, but whispers about factions of Council militant personnel being reactivated. There weren't officially meant to be any sort of military power active in any of the governments - the agreement with the Peace Treaty was that no armies would be allowed to be trained - naturally since they had agreed on peace, not war.
However, according to Yagari's knowledge, war was definitely happening. The two reasons it was managing to happen without being noticed (by the general public, not those involved - obviously), was because - firstly, it was happening in small scuffles sporadically around the world.
Secondly, it was not always a battle that signified war happening -
Yagari slaps a newspaper down on the table in front of her. Then another, and another two.
"This is getting ridiculous," he growls, running a hand over his face. His eyes are bloodshot and he looks old in a way Rima hates. He looks worn and tired and - they're no way near the end of this, so he shouldn't be like this already - "Look at it. Look," he snaps, spreading the newspapers out for her to see.
(ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY SHUT DOWN / STARS TAKEN TO COURT OVER ALLEGED "YEARS OF TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE HUMANS' IGNORANCE" - EITHER PAY FOR THE DAMAGE DONE OR FACE JAIL TIME -
PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES FORCED TO CLOSE AS DEMANDS FOR DRUGS THREATENS TO OVERWHELM RESOURCES / MASS EMPLOYEE STRIKE DUE TO DISAGREEMENTS IN WAGES / RESEARCH REVEALS THAT THE MAJORITY OF HIGHER EARNING JOBS ARE OCCUPIED BY VAMPIRES -
THE WOUNDED OR THE DAMNED? BLOOD BANKS IN SHORT SUPPLY AS VAMPIRE SOCIETY BUYS THEM UP AS A "FOOD RESOURCE" / SHOULD BLOOD BE FREE OR DOES IT COME AT A COST? / NEWLY PROPOSED "MANDATORY BLOOD DONATION" BILL MAKES HUMANS FEEL VICTIMISED -
HAVE WE BEEN TAKEN FOR FOOLS OUR WHOLE LIVES?
ARE HUMANS "LESSER BEINGS"?
VAMPIRES CAUGHT LABELLING HUMANS "LIVESTOCK" WILL FACE CHARGES -)
"It's fucking ridiculous," he snarls again, glaring at the papers so hard Rima half-expects them to catch fire. "That this war ain't a war being fought on the surface. It's all shady. Bloody politics and propaganda are causing all sorts of trouble - people are fighting over fucking blood. Over their rights, their rights to life - to getting the best jobs, to getting their blood taken - Humans are calling Vampires out on taking advantage of their not being known about for all these years to reap the best things in life - I'll admit, that ain't such a bad thing. It's true that they've been - in a sense - played for fools for far too long. But Vampires aren't exactly taking the punishment sitting down either - they're claiming that this punishment is an injustice in itself. That if they get the best jobs due to their being better than Humans it was not their fault if they are better.
"Toya, it's a mess. It's just chaos, pure chaos. And with Hunters trying to police the situation and the Council adding more fuel to the fire with them spreading rumours about Kuran going rogue. It's panicking the Humans and pissing off the Hunters. All of this mad scramble to be top dog…"
"The sad thing is I don't think there was any better way we could have revealed the existence of Vampires to the Humans," she says, shaking her head, "Once the last war ended, the situation just made itself. You can't blame Humans for freaking out about what they had once thought to be purely mythical creatures suddenly being real - the realisation that not only are they no longer at the top of the food chain, but they have never been must have been terrifying."
"Yeah, but it's not like they've been left defenceless - us Hunters have always been here to protect them," Yagari grumbles, scratching his nose, "Fucking Council are looking to panic everyone into fighting. It's becoming more and more a mad scramble to become the top species isn't it? Or was it always going to come to this?"
He kicks the chair out across from her and dumps himself in it with a loud sigh. His massive frame crumpling down is such a sad sight that Rima forces herself to gather the newspapers into a neat pile, lest she anger him more with her pity.
"Anyway," he says heavily, "Enough of that. There's nothing here we weren't expecting. Nothing too pressing that we need to go alert the others."
"Nothing much on my part either," Rima agrees rather glumly. She has more freedom than him to go out into public and keep an ear out for anything. As of yet, her efforts were mostly in vain.
"I know, which is why I want to take you with me this time," he says, holding his hand up as soon as she opens her mouth to speak, "I'm running out of time and really running out of sources to dig through. They've locked up almost every place they used to have me logged into - for their own security, they're trying to stop me accessing their information. We gotta go and we gotta go now - there's an old office block in the city centre that the Hunter Headquarters use for back-up storage. Most of their data are hardcopies - years ago, we decided it was always a safe bet to keep a physical back-up of our files in case our systems got hacked. It's the safest bet for us if we go there. We only have to break in and then, well - we're in. All the archives will be ours for the taking."
"You want us to take them with us?"
"Well, no. That would tip them off to us having been there - what we find out will be enough. All we're aiming to do is find out stuff about that Inoue guy to help our people out. We aren't trying to prove anything here, so getting evidence isn't our main goal. Are you interested in a spot of breaking and entering then?" he grins, "It's gotta be more fun than hanging around this old hide-out."
"God, yes," she grins back at him - and just like that, they grab their bags and leave.
Part of the reason for him wanting her with him, she suspects, is because they're headed into town. She's more familiar with what the best routes are if they don't want to be seen, and with her around - whenever someone looks their way, Yagari can pretend to be conversing with her to hide his face. They get to the office in good time, and to Rima's surprise Yagari walks them to the front door.
At her confused look, he shrugs, "No better way to break in than by not having to break anything. The last thing they'll expect us to do is walk right through the front door."
"Won't that keycard alert them to your presence?"
"…nah, I don't think it will." His tone is totally not convincing, and he probably knows it, because he quickly adds, "But even if it does - we aren't here on vacation. We get in, get our stuff and leave. No one's around here anyways. There's a big trial on today that has required the Hunters patrolling this area to be there. It gives us at least an hour here, so let's get a move on."
Yagari takes her up to the fifth floor, and again - to Rima's surprise - he seems to know exactly where what he's looking for is. Then again, he's been researching Inoue nonstop for the past few days. He must know some things about him already which allow him to narrow down the vast array of archives to a single floor - still, thats a lot of files to go through. It occurs to Rima then that she has no idea what she's looking for.
Probably sensing her unease, Yagari points her to the door once they get to the specific room he wants, "You stand guard. Use your great Vampire hearing to listen out or whatever. I don't want anybody getting the jump on us or else we're in major doo-doo, understand?"
She nods, relieved to have a job, even if it is something as simple as guard-duty.
As she faces out to the corridor and strains her hearing, Yagari continues to speak - seemingly unaware of how contradictory his actions are by hindering her 'listening out'.
"I found very little about Inoue's background, other than that he was a medical student a few years ago, back when he was Human. A bloody good one too - top of his class and all that. He's got all the letters behind his name, but then the paper trail goes cold. As far as I can see, he didn't manage to get a job straight out of education, which must have been hell for him - you'd expect that being top of your class would get you the golden ticket, right? Well, not the case. The more I see of these news headlines about Vampires taking the top jobs, the more I suspect that was the reason why he didn't get it. Humans just don't make the cut most of the time - what with Vampires owning this company and that, and being able to afford to buy out the top places…
"Ah-ha. Bingo," Yagari calls over his shoulder, "See here - his first job was in a mortuary, sorting the corpses out for funerals or to promised to become cadavers… ugh, sounds grim."
"It may explain where he got the people he needed to do his experiments on though," Rima points out, "Never said they had to be alive, I suppose."
"This kid is seriously fucked up. Must have messed him up in the head to end up stuck in this kind of job when he'd been expecting to climb up the career ladder. He worked there for… ugh, five years. It says the last time he logged in any time was… well that was well into the last war. I guess it must've stopped him in his tracks, though why it didn't stop him earlier on - I don't know - "
"Let me see."
There's no one around, so Rima abandons post to join him at the desk. She studies the document, staring at the date for a long time until it draws back specific memories of what happened then. Yes - it was nearing the end of the last war, but more specifically it coincided with… with…
"Oh shit," she breathes as the pieces of the puzzle start coming together. "Shit," she says again with more feeling.
"What is it?" Yagari growls, snatching the papers from her angrily, naturally pissed that she managed to connect the dots faster than him.
"I think I know… oh god, we have to tell them - we have to tell Kaname!" she exclaims, snatching the papers back from him and filing them away haphazardly. She grabs his arm, "Quick, there's no time!" she insists, roughly manhandling him out of the room. They freeze at the sound of sirens, the blue-white flash of headlights. "Fuck."
"Go, go, go!" Yagari hisses, tearing down the corridor in about three long strides and practically throwing her out of the window. She barely manages to snag an arm on the fire escape, but as Yagari curls his arms around the bars above her and starts to drop, she quickly readjusts her hold to mimic his and they slide down. His considerably heavier body slides faster, and soon Rima finds herself clinging to Yagari's back like a koala and bracing herself for impact with the ground.
The landing is predictably painful, and as Yagari pulls her back onto her feet, he squeezes her wrist - grabbing her attention.
"What is it? What did you find?" he demands.
But she shakes her head, eyes flicking to the empty street as the sirens crescendo, "No time. Come on," she tugs on his arm beseechingly, hoping that he will trust her and just let it go for now.
Yagari huffs, but acquiesces with a grunt -
Or at least, she thinks he's with her, but then she is pushed forwards - her hair falls in her face, she stumbles in pure confusion - "Go!" Yagari insists, shoving her again, "I'll hold them off."
"What - "
"I won't be able to run with you. Don't give me that look, just shut up and get out of here!"
His final shove propels her to the other side of the street, and as she trips on the curb she hears yelling - hears Yagari scream at her to run - and she does, but while she does she can't help but glance over her shoulder at him. The last she sees of him is him being dragged away by about a dozen Hunters, his hat knocked off and mouth gaping wide -
Go, he mouths at her (or shouts, she can't hear over the rush of blood in her ears), and so she does.
The Ichijou Labs are as big as a compound and unpleasantly stark, bringing to mind the decor of a sanatorium or hospital. Kain - or Inoue, rather - leads them through with absolutely nobody stepping in to stop them - Aidou assumes it is because the guards must have been told not to arrest them on-sight by Inoue. It's mildly alarming to think that Inoue has really seized all the power here now, and that it means that they have greatly misjudged his influence if that's the case.
A woman snaps a photo of them as they pass - what for? After blinking away the blue dots, Aidou realises the shot had been of Kaname - insurance then. Proof that Kaname had been there. Proof that… well, the photo could be made to look like proof of him being rogue very easily. It wasn't as if Kaname had had a shower anytime recently, and with his hair distinctly windswept, his eyes intense and his clothing torn… he looked wild. He looked rogue.
Inoue takes them downstairs, down two floors to an underground space. There, he brings them to a large window, revealing -
"Takuma!" Aidou exclaims, pressing his hands to the glass. He knocks his knuckles against it, but Takuma doesn't react.
"It's soundproofed," Inoue explains - the real Inoue. Aidou spins around to see that Kain is staring blankly at the glass, and Inoue has appeared at their side. He gives them a wan smile, "Scent-proofed too. He has no idea that you're here, or of where he is."
"And why is that?" Kaname asks, lifting a hand to the glass too. His hand hovers there before dropping. "I'd have thought you'd have put him to some use by now."
"Oh don't worry, I'll have him earning his keep in no time," Inoue laughs, nodding towards Takuma.
They all drink in the sight of their friend at long last. He looks fine physically, if a little underfed, but the way he is staring out into nothing is unnerving. He is just sat there on his narrow bed, feet planted apart and arms resting atop them loosely. He looks… cracked. Inoue has broken him.
Aidou doesn't want to think how he has done it, but he's broken Takuma. Just like Kain - he is an empty shell.
"Doesn't he look just… perfect?" Inoue breathes, hooking his thumbs in his pockets jauntily. "He's so ready. I couldn't have chosen a better person for the job."
"What are you going to make him do?"
Inoue blinks, his expression that of a man who forgot he had an audience.
"Why, to lead, of course. He will be leading the Council soon, it's all in the contracts you wrote up, isn't it? I've seen them - all signed and dotted. Isaya hands down his position as Head of the Council to Takuma, his Son. Thanks for doing that, by the way. It makes my job much easier with you having done the boring paperwork for me."
"So you're going to use him as your figurehead puppet," Aidou says, feeling sick as he watches Inoue's mouth twitch. The bastard is having fun at their expense. It makes his skin crawl when he nods proudly. "What did you do to him? Did you curse him too?"
"Oh, nothing as fancy as that. I couldn't be bothered to have to manage two curses at once. No, no - just a little bit of hypnotism for dear Takuma. Sadly, not all of us are able to use mind-control," he says, staring almost hungrily at Kaname. "Never mind. We have to make do with what we can - and what a success it has been! He's responded so well to the treatment - I couldn't be happier. You should see him, staggering around like a newborn foal," Inoue's laughter turns shrill, making Aidou flinch and Kain bare his teeth, "That's only when he's left to his own devices, of course. When he's with me he has the utmost faith in our 'friendship'. It's such a beautiful thing, trust."
Enough - he's heard enough -
Aidou lunges towards Inoue, growling with rage -
"Ah, ah, ah."
A fireball glances past Aidou's shoulder - his back slams into the wall as he twists around to Kain, not believing his eyes when he sees him armed with a fireball in each hand. He isn't even looking at him - ah, but he doesn't need to, with Inoue using his body as a puppet. Aidou shares a panicked look with Kaname at this.
"Don't forget what rules we're playing by now - my house, my rules. If you try to turn on me, I'll just turn him on you. Is that what you want?"
Aidou shakes his head frantically. Kaname only frowns, which makes Inoue's mouth flick down at the corners.
"Is this what you want then?" he asks him, flicking a hand towards Kain.
At first they see nothing, but then - then he gives a pained grunt, and they see his face starting to turn redder and redder, a vein in his temple bulging -
"What are you doing? Stop it, stop!"
Inoue flicks his wrist again and just like that - Kain lets out a sigh of relief.
"Now, are you ready to listen to me? Patiently and without 'incident'? Or are we going to go through the rules one more time…?"
Aidou shakes his head again, his mouth tightening when he glances at Kain again, finding him with beads of sweat dotting his forehead even though his expression remains blank and his eyes worryingly vacant. Kaname sighs but waves his hand at Inoue to continue.
"Good man," he chuffs, "Then let me tell you a little more about me. After all, what is the point of me winning if I don't get the full joy of knowing you understand properly how badly you have lost? That would be such a shame, don't you think?
"Anyway, let me take you to when all of this began - if you remember, it was the last war that kickstarted my part in all of this…"
They're evicted from the tent for well over an hour, and by now the snow has seeped into every known crevice on his person, soaking into the fabric of his clothes so that he squeaks whenever he moves. That being said, the only movement he has been doing consistently for the past hour has been shivering, and in the last ten minutes (once he'd lost the last few dregs of his dignity) had been hugging an almost-blue Ichiru.
Nearby, Seiren stand sentry with a serene expression on her lovely face, as though she finds it supremely comforting to see him suffering in the cold.
Bloody Vampires barely feel the cold, but poor little Hunters can't shake it.
"Are you done?" he asks through clenched teeth. He jerks his head to the tent, "Or are they done at least? Can we go back inside now, p-p-please? My balls will fall off soon if we don't - "
"No great loss to anyone then."
" - you sadist. You absolute fucking - "
"Quiet," Seiren says suddenly, holding her hand up. Her whole body seems to have become more upright without her having moved an inch - her eyes which had been staring at nothing before are now looking at something through the mist - something far beyond what he or Ichiru can see.
At first Kaito thinks she's having him on, but then he hears it - the beat of feet crunching on snow, hitting fast - someone is coming. Someone is headed their way and fast.
He and Ichiru jump to their feet, and barely a second later Zero and Ruka appear from the tent.
They all wait three ticks and then - bursting from the copse is Rima.
She makes her way specifically towards Zero before pulling up short, her nostrils flaring and eyes widening -
"Where is Kaname?" she asks, taking a step towards the tent, but then stepping backwards when she realises - "Where are… Aidou, Kain? What's happened?" she demands, spinning around to face all of them.
"They went to sort something out with Inoue," Seiren answers for them swiftly, recovering the fastest out of all of them (naturally), "He put a curse on Kain. Kaname only discovered it recently, and since we aren't sure what the curse might do, they've gone to deal with it now."
"Why are you here?" Zero asks more pressingly. Glancing around her at the trees expectantly. As he does this her lips thin. "And where is Yagari?"
"We… we were split up," she grimaces, and corrects herself, "We were separated by some Hunters. We got caught on a mission and he… he got taken. I'm sorry." Her chin wobbles, and abruptly she finds herself crying - the tears catch her by surprise, and she wipes at her chin and stares at her hand as if it has caught on fire.
"…taken?" Zero echoes faintly.
She nods, biting her lip. "We were ambushed."
"I presume you were at a Hunter-owned building and Yagari's presence triggered the alarm?" Ichiru asks, to which she nods again.
"And what did you find?" Zero quickly follows, trying to ignore the part of him that is fixed on Yagari got taken - your husband is in the enemy's hands - everyone's getting caught and taken -
"That's why he sent me ahead - I didn't manage to tell him, but he knew I had important information to tell you so he told me to go…" Rima sniffs, but wipes her face again, angrily. "Inoue - we found out that he was working in the city mortuary during the last war - but not just any city, it was the Human city Rido took over at the end of the last war. Remember what he was doing there?"
"Turning Humans," Zero whispers, cold running through his veins, "Oh fuck."
"Exactly," Rima stammers, closing her eyes in desolation, "All this time we didn't know who the Pureblood was who Turned him, but now it's… it's too much of a coincidence to be anyone else."
"So if Rido Turned him… it may explain why he's more involved in this - in us - than we would've otherwise expected."
"But Rido is dead," Kaito points out. He's met with an uneasy silence. "He's dead, isn't he? He was killed in the last war."
"Rido was no ordinary Pureblood though, remember? He's like Kaname and Lady - they were the Firstborn - "
"No, Katsuo was one of the Firstborn, not Rido," Ichiru argues.
"But Rido was Katsuo's reincarnation. He could, in essence, have been Katsuo in all but body - "
"Even if he was, he was killed, okay? He's gone. Which means - why the heck is Inoue still alive and kicking? How can a Level D survive without their Maker? That makes no sense."
"Come to think of it… how are all those Level Es still alive too?" Ichiru asks, folding his arms nervously, "Remember? After the last war ended we still had to chase down and Hunt all the left over Es. I've never thought about it before but technically they all should've turned to dust the moment Rido died, shouldn't they? They were ridiculously easy to kill… as if they'd been weakened. But they were still there."
"And now Inoue is still here and very much alive. Did you find anything else which might explain how he has survived?" Zero asks.
"Not really. He was a medical student - a brilliant student. We know that he is a skilled scientist too, with a talent for making drugs. Maybe he's sustaining himself on something homemade? Though I highly doubt even a more developed blood pill would be enough to sate his Thirst. It's more than just blood that he needs - it's his Maker's blood that he's lacking."
"Well… I guess Kaname and the other two might find out more while they're at the Labs. All we can do is wait for them to come back."
Rima sinks to the ground with a heavy sigh, burying her face in her arms and shaking her head.
"I shouldn't have left him," she says, muffled through her clothes, "God. I'm so sorry. I should have stayed - should have fought. They were - they just swamped him. I was too far away, but I should have gone back - "
"Stop blaming yourself," Zero interrupts, bending to place a hand on her shoulder, "There's no point crying over spilt milk. Anyway, sensei is a big boy. He can take care of himself."
"What if the Hunters decide to take care of him though?" she peers up at him with glassy eyes. "What if they decide to use him for something?"
"He won't break. Stop worrying about him," Kaito pipes up, surprising them all with his reassuring tone. He catches Zero's eye however, and they share a look of understanding. Yagari is in the same boat as the others - out of reach, out of mind. "C'mon. Let's get inside before we all turn into a bunch of Smurfs."
At his request, Rima leaps to her feet as though she's been electro-shocked.
"I should go back," she says, eyeing the trees, "I… I can't be here."
"Why not?" Seiren asks gently, taking her by the elbow and turning her to face the tent again, "Are you finding anything worthwhile down there? I don't think so, aside from what you learnt about Inoue. Stay here - stay with us. We're already few in numbers, we may as well stick together."
Rima looks to Zero, and he nods encouragingly. "Might as well."
With a small sigh, she allows herself to be led inside and fussed over. Zero lingers at the entrance till everyone else has gone inside. Without anyone there to see him, he lets himself lose it a little - finds himself buckling at the knees and gripping his stomach as a wave of nausea hits him.
Yagari's gone. Kaname, Kain and Aidou - gone. Takuma and Benomi - long gone.
Rima is back, and safe, which is good.
But each loss resonates with him - makes something in his stomach curl up a little tighter, makes it a little more difficult to breathe as he wonders, just how many more of them will they lose to this war?
Author's Note:
Sorry if the chapter isn't quite as good as the previous ones. I'm struggling to get the right tone back into my writing. It doesn't sound quite right to me when I read it, but what do you think? Is it okay?